'Would you be willing?': words to turn a conversation around (and those to avoid) | Science | The Guardian

11 bookmarks. First posted by farley13 7 days ago.

Choose your words carefully and you can get someone to change their mind, or see you in a new light
2 days ago by philapple
'Would you be willing?': words to turn a conversation around (and those to avoid) | Science | The Guardian
7 days ago by scottmoff
try listening out for how often you both use the phrase “Yes, but”.

“We all know the phrase ‘Yes, but’ really means ‘No, and here’s why you’re wrong’,” says Rob Kendall, author of Workstorming. A conversation expert, Kendall sits in on other people’s meetings as an observer. The phrase “Yes, but” is one of the classic warning signs that you’re in an unwinnable conversation, he says. “If you hear it three or more times in one discussion, it’s a sign that you’re going nowhere.”

What to say Kendall advises shifting the conversation by asking the other person “What’s needed here?” or, even better, “What do you need?” “It takes you from what I call ‘blamestorming’ to a solution-focused outcome.”
psychology  communication  language  english 
7 days ago by juliusbeezer
2017-04-12, by Rosie Ifould,

"(...) Elizabeth Stokoe, professor of social interaction at Loughborough University [and] her colleagues have analysed thousands of hours of recorded conversations, from customer services to mediation hotlines and police crisis negotiation. They discovered that certain words or phrases have the power to change the course of a conversation. (...)"

"One of the first words Stokoe came across that seemed to have a magical effect on people was “willing”. (...) “As soon as the word ‘willing’ was uttered, people would say: ‘Oh, yes, definitely’ – they would actually interrupt the sentence to agree.” Stokoe found it had the same effect in different settings: with business-to-business cold callers; with doctors trying to persuade people to go to a weight-loss class. She also looked at phrases such as “Would you like to” and “Would you be interested in”. “Sometimes they worked, but ‘willing’ was the one that got people to agree more rapidly and with more enthusiasm.” (...)"
language  psychology  research  communication 
7 days ago by eric.brechemier