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When I forget my umbrella my 8 year old always tries to put his over my head too. My 3 year old kept bringing me co…
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17 hours ago
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Today’s top-notch trolling award goes to whoever made this happen to Covington Catholic School on Google:
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18 hours ago
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Their mama’s aren’t ashamed. These boys didn’t just develop this hate & disrespect on thei…
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23 hours ago
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Friendly reminder that the people you admire on here are just people. They're nerds who struggle with impostor synd…
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yesterday
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Year Two of taking the role of organizing the office chili cook-off seriously as hell
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2 days ago
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Watching game developers on Twitch work on their games. They'll be looking at their scene and be like "I want to ad…
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3 days ago
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Backup - Automate and Centrally Manage Your Backups -
AWS  from twitter_favs
3 days ago
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I added LED strips for better video call lighting when working from home. Now I can switch between Red and Blue tea…
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3 days ago
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I feel like the word “environment” is over used and meaningless, especially in a multitenant setup. I’m liking “sit…
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3 days ago
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Please, 2020 presidential candidates, I beg of you - don’t try to make us like you. Tell us what you’re going to do…
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4 days ago
(429) https://twitter.com/metrotimes/status/1085216289302478848
Congrats to President Engler on his Shittiest Person of the Day Award!
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4 days ago
(429) https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1085302493733666818
William Barr, Trump’s nominee for attorney general, says he can't rule out jailing journalists if they are “putting…
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4 days ago
(429) https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1085245827218456576
another perfect gag is the gangsta rap fan in office space being named michael bolton. good comedy is all about get…
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4 days ago
(429) https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1085239136397811712
Just had the most 2019 moment: wanted to draw a pretty pink flower for a comic, and then spent 30 mins googling in…
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4 days ago
(429) https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1085172942005252100
honestly being served cold burgers by a smirking billionaire is pretty much the “student-athlete” experience…
NCAA  from twitter_favs
4 days ago
(429) https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1085036461051858944
I am part of the very specific microgeneration between GenX and the Millennials; otherwise known as "the people who…
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5 days ago
Twitter
SEATBELTS EVERYONE!
It’s time to take chances, make mistakes, and get messy!
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5 days ago
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8:02: I wake up for the 5th and final time. I grunt “god dammit”, a mantra that makes my electrons spin in the most…
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6 days ago
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We escaped Mission Manor with 20min to spare! The inheritance now belongs to
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6 days ago
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👇this this this. Or as and I said from the beginning, we will have succeeded if people can look back on thei…
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6 days ago
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And yet black men are 6.1% of the population and 37% of the prison popula…
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7 days ago
Twitter
The biological concept of “commensalism” was named 30 years before Pareto christened it “Pareto-improvin…
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7 days ago
(429) https://twitter.com/LeaKissner/status/1083830615986790400
I've been honored to work with Lea throughout her career at Google - she's amazing. She'll be missed.
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8 days ago
(429) https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1083621761340637184
Wife: Give me $50

Me: Can't, it’s all tied up in our long-term investment strategy

W: Eh?

M: Gave it all to a ps…
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9 days ago
Twitter
Pretty certainly the wheel is NOT older than the wall. Your excursion into stone and Bronze Age history has not gon…
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9 days ago
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Imagine how sad the engineer was.

"But can't they just..."

"The SoW includes a viewer."

"but..."

"Make sc…
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9 days ago
Twitter
Hey - big fan, advocate, and long-time customer with 4 sites on your platform (and I've recommended yo…
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9 days ago
Twitter
Yep, Iowa is the medieval state I'm from, and yay for courts.
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9 days ago
Twitter
Merge South and North Dakota to make MegaKota

rt to sign the petition
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10 days ago
Twitter
. and I were just commenting on how after every random camp, we get a note home with our 6 year old that he's…
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11 days ago
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homo sapiens, the top of the food chain. result of millions of years of evolution. probably the only animal that ca…
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12 days ago
Twitter
Darn it. WHY couldn't they have been there when we lived on Second St??? Then again we h…
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12 days ago
Twitter
Ooh, a liquor license for on Liberty! That is awesome! CM Hayner and CM Nelson are concerned and hav…
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12 days ago
Twitter
An engineer from Disney emailed me and said my Journey Into Imagination talk from us last year was inspirin…
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12 days ago
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a quality of our material consumer culture i'm realizing from watching Marie Kondo is that it feels good to Acquire…
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12 days ago
Twitter
NoBoDy WaNtS tO sEe AnOtHeR aLaBaMa Vs ClEmSoN
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12 days ago
Twitter
Yup, I’ll add it! Second one just happened from chambers.
a2council  from twitter_favs
12 days ago
Twitter
OH:
1. "Seems legit. I spent twenty years honing *my* craft before my first sale."
2. "You made your first sale in…
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12 days ago
Twitter
oh my lord there are commentators in the blimp
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12 days ago
Twitter
If you oppose a rate increase, you have to argue with the city's expressed need to increase rates over the next nin…
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12 days ago
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Man you must run in pretty different Twitter circles than I do because most of the takes I'm seeing…
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12 days ago
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4/If we can track footballs with graphics, create instant replay, and keep viewers watching why not do it here? His…
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12 days ago
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Short time delay with on screen fact-checking and pauses for deeper explanations when necessary. "The An…
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12 days ago
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Hey , what’s going on? Let’s get the party started!
Codemash  from twitter_favs
12 days ago
Twitter
Would it be better if it just closed the fucking door?
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12 days ago
Twitter
ICYMI we're still undefeated 😏

Check out the highlights from yesterday's win against Indiana!

GoBlue  from twitter_favs
12 days ago
Twitter
Just put me at the bottom of however many you have. I like to keep expectations low. B…
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12 days ago
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I had like a three-month span where I felt comfortable with the attention and was happy to just be there, then the…
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12 days ago
Twitter
Credit where it’s due: TSA folks at PHL, clearly a bit understaffed and not being paid, doing a good job keeping th…
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12 days ago
Pricing · Plans for every developer · GitHub
Use private repositories with three of your closest collaborators *for free* 🙌
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12 days ago
Twitter
Use private repositories with three of your closest collaborators *for free* 🙌
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12 days ago
Twitter
Now I'm going to have to establish a formal ranking of my favorite sexagenarians.

Th…
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12 days ago
Twitter
Would have thought it would take less time to learn an adjacent skill than to source a candidate to spec.

But empl…
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12 days ago
Twitter
🤔 There's a saying in Turkish when you say something, a lot, and kinda get ignored and then others pick it up— "If…
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12 days ago
Twitter
"What did father used to say? 'Everything before the word 'but' is horseshit.'" – Jon Snow
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12 days ago
Twitter
Maybe MAYBE you can say "professional dev" but there is so much unprofessionalism in our industry that probably doe…
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12 days ago
Twitter
Also if your debut novel ends up going double-platinum-unicorn and doing Harry Potter numbers...you can cowgirl up…
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12 days ago
Twitter
One software security 2019 wish I like in here: "Throwing away the idea of using ‘engagement’ as the sole or primar…
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12 days ago
Twitter
hi kids! it's me, your favorite sexagenarian here to tell you that when I was a kid the top tax rate was 90% and no…
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12 days ago
Twitter
I want to see these patterns at other hospitals!

If you have an ER bill from the past five years, submit it to:…
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12 days ago
Twitter
Konmari, but for PagerDuty. "I thank this alert for teaching me that we don't need to alert on things like this. Al…
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12 days ago
Twitter
9/ But what would I know? I was only the original architect and lead engineer for adding End-to-End Encryption into…
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13 days ago
Twitter
Just played the "enter grades" video game, which, I was pleased to discover, defaults to "easy mode" when on sabbat…
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13 days ago
Twitter
6/ As such - to start with the worst-case comedy scenario, there would be a WhatsApp client-config API endpoint whi…
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13 days ago
Twitter
Justjn, I hope it’s the boarding passes and not the kids you lost
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13 days ago
(429) https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1081963228161368064
Was lucky enough to get a at the end of even though you can't see me in the thumbnail...…
SelfieWithSue  ASSA2019  from twitter_favs
13 days ago
(429) https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1081953055183122432
I'm reviewing the list of mentors and volunteers for this year's and let me just say that the Minnesota…
hackthegap  from twitter_favs
13 days ago
(429) https://twitter.com/mags_mclaugh/status/1081749239405907969/photo/1
I am deeply infatuated by this meme, I need more of these. Where are they
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14 days ago
Twitter
Most importantly, these are now in my home.
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14 days ago
(429) https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1081564461310373888
I mean. It's less than 1000 sq ft. One bath. There's no air conditioning. Well cared for, but hopelessly outdated.…
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14 days ago
(429) https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1081415367392747520
Next time I'm trying to break myself out of an anxiety spiral, remind me to stare at the Detroit Beisbolcats logo.…
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15 days ago
(429) https://twitter.com/turtlekiosk/status/1081060905419452416
first of all, it’s not a cult, it’s an open source monastery.

and next time just @ me.
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15 days ago
(429) https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1081411163760386048
Tokyo could drown in tech dollars but teachers would continue living in cheap housing because Tokyo builds housing.…
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15 days ago
Twitter
This is the best of that though. It's too over the top to not be self-aware. Also, I've added "w…
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15 days ago
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