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Twitter
ted cruz’s best night ever involves a rodent trapped in his house’s walls
from twitter_favs
8 hours ago
Twitter
i, too, love to reflect on the day's "key wins" with my boyfriend
from twitter_favs
11 hours ago
Twitter
if you don't vote i'll kill everyone you love, relax it's a joke, but seriously they'll all perish, lighten up alre…
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12 hours ago
Twitter
Me struggling to get a handle on my anxiety and emotions vs. When I realize I can just transmit them to other people
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18 hours ago
Twitter
are u telling me boys do not go there to get more stupider
from twitter_favs
yesterday
Twitter
She’s a white supremacist and a nazi apologist, so probably continuing to give her a platform is also unwise.
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yesterday
Twitter
Sometimes, the truly is the most un-self-aware news outlet that ever existed.

Maybe it's time, after 80…
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yesterday
Twitter
lessons have not been learned
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yesterday
Twitter
Y’all i just called off saying I’m sick... then accidentally texted my boss “Good Morning Biiitch lets go get break…
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yesterday
Twitter
If I were the State Department's spokesperson, on an official trip to learn more about the dark, dubious circumstan…
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yesterday
Twitter
THREAD:

I just overheard one of the most Millennial breakups, ever.

Scene: the apartment across the alley from me…
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yesterday
Twitter
Molly, aka the Thing of Evil, turns four. As a special treat, we gave her a postman for dinner.
from twitter_favs
2 days ago
Twitter
at a game company we had a team of 6 and a backlog of 10k+ tickets and i got in trouble for automating responses to…
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2 days ago
Twitter
Saudis Admit Journalist Khashoggi Died During Botched Assassination Attempt
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2 days ago
Twitter
When you finally get that good night sleep after a 12 hour flight. Wake up at 6am and feel damn good.
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2 days ago
Twitter
Been grinding Blops4 multiplayer.

Really enjoying myself, finding an affinity for this game. Starting to put toge…
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2 days ago
Twitter
So sad that restaurants will no longer have a guy who claps when someone drops a dish
from twitter_favs
3 days ago
Twitter
lmaoo ignore my shit pc graphics.
from twitter_favs
3 days ago
Twitter
If coding doesn’t feel like a Faustian bargain with a vindictive cenobite demon of infinite complexity that you kno…
from twitter_favs
3 days ago
Twitter
If valuing life were a uniquely American attribute, we wouldn’t have the worst rate of maternal deaths in the devel…
from twitter_favs
3 days ago
Twitter
prescription drug advertisements shouldn't exist at all :)
from twitter_favs
3 days ago
Twitter
Having some memory problems, ? Should we call for a doctor?

Here’s something you won’t “forget,” M…
from twitter_favs
3 days ago
Twitter
Trump on offering $1 million for Elizabeth Warren's DNA test: "I didn't say that." This is him saying that:
from twitter_favs
3 days ago
Twitter
If coding doesn't feel like typing some stuff in to an editor and then spending hours wondering why the f it doesn'…
from twitter_favs
4 days ago
Twitter
Tell me a harmless but infuriating thing an S.O. did or does.

Abt five mins into whatever movie we were watching,…
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4 days ago
Twitter
I want to use my streaming PC but I need more desk space to fit a monitor, but if I get a new desk I need to throw…
from twitter_favs
4 days ago
Twitter
I love that every time I get a DM request, it’s from an attractive, funny man asking me to show him my feet and def…
from twitter_favs
5 days ago
Twitter
Me: Wow, this GIF is really trippy!

*realizes it’s not a GIF*

🤯
from twitter_favs
6 days ago
Twitter
Yeah, it’s like I always said.

Once you’re done with your email, grab some pals, hop on a fucking camel, and bring…
from twitter_favs
6 days ago
Twitter
ME: just put down 'gamer'
CENSUS EMPLOYEE: sir i cant put that as–
ME: well im a gamer
CENSUS EMPLOYEE: sir that is…
from twitter_favs
6 days ago
Twitter
i love logging on & getting romanced
from twitter_favs
7 days ago
Twitter
"America is fundamentally conservative," which is why Republicans need the Electoral College, Senate malapportionme…
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7 days ago
Twitter
sorry for caring about women
from twitter_favs
7 days ago
Twitter
good morning to nobody except the guy sitting at the table next to mine at LAX who ordered a double shot of espress…
from twitter_favs
7 days ago
Twitter
SMG 11 recoil in a nutshell
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8 days ago
Twitter
It's cool how twitter has a button for "I want to show this tweet to my followers" and a button for "I like this bu…
from twitter_favs
8 days ago
Twitter
So the right is worked up over Holder using a metaphor but when Trump *literally* calls for violence at his rallies…
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8 days ago
Twitter
LinkedIn’s AI writing appears one-sided. 🤔
from twitter_favs
9 days ago
Twitter
This is what our organizing looks like: invite neighbors over to discuss issues + ask questions in a comfortable en…
from twitter_favs
9 days ago
Twitter
22-year old me: I’m going to buy this gray t shirt without trying it on. How could a gray t shirt be bad

31-year o…
from twitter_favs
9 days ago
Twitter
He made over 100 mistakes filling out a form
from twitter_favs
9 days ago
Twitter
Scared by that new report on climate change? Here's what you can do to help:

• Seize the state

• Bring the fossil…
from twitter_favs
9 days ago
Twitter
Irreverent gen z son at dinner table : Bush did 9/11 lol [exhales huge kushberry crunch Juul hit]

Me: [angrily kno…
from twitter_favs
9 days ago
Twitter
I’m in the airport watching a girl *literally* weep out of joy over this while her friend pretends to cry and just…
from twitter_favs
11 days ago
Twitter
folks there is a grown man who just boarded my flight wearing a sweatshirt that’s just the supreme logo but on top…
from twitter_favs
11 days ago
Twitter
In the last day, McConnell has made it abundantly clear that he will push a Supreme Court justice through during an…
from twitter_favs
11 days ago
Twitter
For an organization that says is worthless, the GOP sure is spending a lot of time AFTER the Kavan…
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11 days ago
Twitter
That was actually after Derrick won. I don’t advocate unsanctioned violence.
from twitter_favs
12 days ago
Twitter
A girl on tinder sent me a "sup" gif so I thought I'd be cute + send one back. Accidentally clicked one while scrol…
from twitter_favs
12 days ago
Twitter
Buzzfeed vs. NYT

Buzzfeed gets it right
from twitter_favs
12 days ago
Twitter
My therapist said Kavanaugh came up in every session she had this week and that people were in tears.

The senator…
from twitter_favs
12 days ago
Twitter
Nintendo: You can’t play Mario for iOS on an airplane because we’re very worried that the software pirates we made…
from twitter_favs
13 days ago
Twitter
I’ve been thinking of making a Facebook group filled with people named Patrick Hughes, but this is even more hilari…
from twitter_favs
13 days ago
Twitter
This still but now also lava and bees
from twitter_favs
13 days ago
Twitter
We are the wave of the 1960s.
from twitter_favs
13 days ago
Twitter
Lmao, gen Z throwing absolute haymakers
from twitter_favs
13 days ago
Twitter
Seriously, if Chuck Schumer can't get Manchin on board and unite this caucus in a No vote on Kavanaugh, there is li…
from twitter_favs
13 days ago
Twitter
Joe Manchin has a huge lead in his race. He is ahead by nearly double-digits.

The only reason for him to vote ‘Yes…
from twitter_favs
13 days ago
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