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Twitter
This is the sort of guff you would only serve up if you were a Democratic plant trying to make AOC look good.

By…
from twitter_favs
6 hours ago
Twitter
Genuinely fascinating how many of the people who hate my piece are taking the position that *my story* is offensive…
from twitter_favs
6 hours ago
Twitter
Led Zeppelin: sex freaks who stole jazz so they could repurpose it to be about Lord of the Rings
Pink Floyd: bunch…
from twitter_favs
9 hours ago
Twitter
to post bright memes at night

to make memes dark so people aren't struck blind at night
from twitter_favs
12 hours ago
Twitter
It’s kind of bullshit that the second I’m like “hey, body, I want a bigger butt... can you, like, shift things arou…
from twitter_favs
13 hours ago
Twitter
hill i’d die on: jack sparrow by lonely island is a near-perfect piece of comedy. if the goal of comedy is to subve…
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14 hours ago
Twitter
And so it begins. Text ‘John Wick’ to 91099 for a one hour head start.
from twitter_favs
16 hours ago
Twitter
“I thought this was a joke,” says one of the athletes grabbing cold fast food hamburgers at The White House.
from twitter_favs
yesterday
Twitter
bubblegum wasnt invented until 1928 so if you travel to 1927 dont describe something as "bubblegum pink" or they'll…
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yesterday
Twitter
I’m old enough to remember a time in our country’s history when it was shocking that a presidential campaign didn’t…
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yesterday
Twitter
I've been thinking about this 28-year-old man who's been taking freezing showers for no reason for two days now
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yesterday
Twitter
Before Coffee After Coffee
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yesterday
Twitter
HERE'S WHY WE WON'T LET HIM DIE
from twitter_favs
2 days ago
Twitter
1000.times { print “Sleep deprivation is not a prerequisite for success! It’s an inhibitor, and whatever success th…
from twitter_favs
2 days ago
Twitter
Playing on an EverQuest progression server is a great reminder that about 90% of nostalgia is about everything -aro…
from twitter_favs
2 days ago
Twitter
i have full-fledged brain damage at this point and put these jax taylor quotes over pictures of tony soprano
from twitter_favs
2 days ago
Twitter
Tired: AOC Instagram Live notifications

Wired: AOC Legislative action notifications
from twitter_favs
3 days ago
Twitter
After a loss I could only think about it and how I could bounce back. If you don’t use it as a means to i…
from twitter_favs
4 days ago
Twitter
firefighter: we gotta get those people out of there

me: how do we know which ones are working for the fire, boss?…
from twitter_favs
4 days ago
Twitter
A real national emergency is the epidemic of gun violence in America. On average, 96 people die from it every singl…
from twitter_favs
4 days ago
Twitter
"A temper tantrum by the president.

I'm a mother of five, grandmother of nine.

I know a temper tantrum when I s…
from twitter_favs
4 days ago
Twitter
imagine being *mad* that the public face of your political party is a young, dynamic, charismatic woman with a thro…
from twitter_favs
4 days ago
Twitter
Marie Kondo has nothing on my personal organization system: emailing myself in all caps two to six times a day, the…
from twitter_favs
4 days ago
Twitter
This is one area where--I can't believe I'm saying this--the GOP understands AOC better than her own colleagues do.…
from twitter_favs
4 days ago
Twitter
When I use my phone at night, I keep one eye closed. Then when I walk down a hallway, I use my other eye to see. I'…
from twitter_favs
4 days ago
Twitter
ANGEL: ok we've got death, childbirth, and strife, any other punishments for the humans

GOD: i call it the "empty…
from twitter_favs
5 days ago
Twitter
Important life advice: surround yourself with people who aren't afraid to tell you no.
from twitter_favs
5 days ago
Twitter
Jeff Bezos sexts like he's an AI in a human suit
from twitter_favs
5 days ago
Twitter
boppin down melrose
sayin all my hellos
stop up hearin groanin, mechanical oh ohs
peek into a alley its just my luc…
from twitter_favs
5 days ago
Twitter
Is there anything Ocasio-Cortez can't do
from twitter_favs
5 days ago
Twitter
Thank you for the mention. I hope you find it useful to teach some new people this technique that we find so valuab…
from twitter_favs
5 days ago
Twitter
For those out of the loop, Republicans began to circulate a fake nude photo of me. The reposted it (!)…
from twitter_favs
6 days ago
Twitter
I wrote a C# compiler, yet when it comes to the Microwave, if I need 1:30 time, I hit start twice and stand there w…
from twitter_favs
6 days ago
Twitter
This shade is so epic it's like a solar eclipse
from twitter_favs
6 days ago
Twitter
"Top tax rates used to be much higher, with top earners paying a 91% rate under President Eisenhower. Under Preside…
from twitter_favs
6 days ago
Twitter
Per source familiar:

Schumer: you’re using people as leverage. why won’t you open the government and stop hurting…
from twitter_favs
6 days ago
Twitter
Y: "What's it like making video games?"
Me: *Puts on sunglasses*
from twitter_favs
6 days ago
Twitter
The & 's mantra of "only one" illegal terrorist is too many should apply to:

Only…
from twitter_favs
6 days ago
Twitter
"I feel seen" doesn't come close.
from twitter_favs
7 days ago
Twitter
He has lied about who’s paying for it. You are.

He has lied about who’s arriving at our border. Asylum seekers &…
from twitter_favs
7 days ago
Twitter
One thing that still amazes me about Sears is you used to be able to buy a house from the catalog. There are still…
from twitter_favs
7 days ago
Twitter
everyone who makes fun of how cats look in medieval paintings feels very dumb now
from twitter_favs
7 days ago
Twitter
The brainiacs in the Valley have discovered “public education” and “taxes.”
from twitter_favs
7 days ago
Twitter
The foremost expert on the subject has spoken.
from twitter_favs
8 days ago
Twitter
📍Me
|
|
| _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Passing |
📍 thos…
from twitter_favs
8 days ago
Twitter
Can’t wait till late capitalism puts me out of my misery and replaces me with a younger, stronger, faster version o…
from twitter_favs
8 days ago
Twitter
[Designers nowadays]

Client: I need a new business card
Designer: Ok, so you want a design system?

Client: I need…
from twitter_favs
8 days ago
Twitter
"Rami Malek always looks like he's trying to eat chips as quietly as possible"
from twitter_favs
8 days ago
Twitter
Idea:

A Buffer plugin for GitHub that would schedule your commits for certain times of the day so it looks like yo…
from twitter_favs
8 days ago
Twitter
absolutely losing it at this guy's website
from twitter_favs
8 days ago
Twitter
I've been vegetarian for almost 30 years but I am usually not outspoken about it. I changed my Twitter bio today to…
from twitter_favs
9 days ago
Twitter
I get some weird ads now. Wanna buy a tonne of green coffee beans at low prices?
from twitter_favs
9 days ago
Twitter
i love being fully immersed in the toilet
from twitter_favs
9 days ago
Twitter
Thanks for this huge interest to the game! Perfect conditions to test servers on high load. Already checking on ser…
from twitter_favs
9 days ago
Twitter
my first favorite part about venom is tomhardy+venom

my second favorite part about venom are all the San Francisco…
from twitter_favs
10 days ago
Twitter
At this point, people should stop asking whether they would ever vote for a woman. Men so far have led the world to…
from twitter_favs
10 days ago
Twitter
As someone who makes a good living, I’d be happy to pay pre-Reagan tax rates in exchange for roads/bridges/schools/…
from twitter_favs
10 days ago
Twitter
The English woman behind me on the plane called The House With A Clock In It’s Walls “The House With All The Clocks…
from twitter_favs
10 days ago
Twitter
30 year old tech worker: we haven't had a tax rate higher than 39% since I can remember.

also 30 year old tech wor…
from twitter_favs
10 days ago
Twitter
I’d say 90% of my recipes have 8/10 cloves or more. Makes for a pungent blueberry pancake but i refuse to do any le…
from twitter_favs
10 days ago
Twitter
GOP loves to insult my intelligence, yet offers *this* as their best + most seasoned opposition to my policy propos…
from twitter_favs
10 days ago
Twitter
What happens when a computer doesn’t actually get slow, wear out, get compromised, isn’t needed for new apps, and s…
from twitter_favs
11 days ago
Twitter
What does our 1st major bill, do?
1. Ban voter roll purging, increase voting rights
2. Expand automatic & onli…
from twitter_favs
11 days ago
Twitter
This is why they fear : she seems totally comfortable with herself, embraces her individuality & doesn’t back d…
from twitter_favs
11 days ago
Twitter
trump is, above all other traits, a huge weirdo. he surrounds himself w a rogues gallery of freaks. he probably lov…
from twitter_favs
11 days ago
Twitter
Trump to Kevin McCarthy...

“Thank you Steve” 😐
from twitter_favs
11 days ago
Twitter
Never forget that wizards used to casually shit their pants at Hogwarts before finally condescending to adopt Muggl…
from twitter_favs
11 days ago
Twitter
8am: smash that snooze button
1pm: want to look at this screen? too bad can’t keep your eyes open
3pm: nap or dea…
from twitter_favs
11 days ago
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