rainbowslinky + notes:depressing   110

This Is the Worst Trip - Dira Sudis (dsudis) - Generation Kill [Archive of Our Own]
"Well," Brad says, trying to think logically about an impossible affliction based on a movie about Bill Murray and a rodent. "What have you tried so far?"
authors:d  trope:groundhog.day  year:2012  length:01K-05K  pairing:brad/ray  notes:depressing  fandom:gen.kill 
november 2018 by rainbowslinky
forever and a day - laireshi - Marvel 616 [Archive of Our Own]
No more humans, he thinks, crossing another name off the list. It's getting depressingly short.

He doesn't know what happened. No one does. Only that their friends are either dead or not their friends any more, and it's the only sentence that explains everything … apart from how it doesn't explain anything at all.
fandom:avengers  verse:TRN193  p:marvel:tony/steve  notes::(  notes:depressing  character-type:robot  genre:angst  pov:tony.stark  year:2013  length:01K-05K  notes:dark 
september 2018 by rainbowslinky
All-Time Low - Sineala - Marvel (Comics) [Archive of Our Own]
Tony's lost his company to Obadiah Stane. He's lost it all: his money, his friends, his Avengers team... and his sobriety. Drunk, homeless, Tony is living on the streets, and when he runs out of liquor money, he sells the only thing he has left: his body. And one day, he has the exact wrong customer.
[me, whispering to myself when i was done: jesus this hurts]
p:marvel:tony/steve  fandom:avengers  verse:616  year:2018  length:10k-20k  notes:depressing  notes:negative.ending  character-type:sex.industry  subject:alcohol  pov:tony.stark  genre:angst 
august 2018 by rainbowslinky
Safe From Harm - Odsbodkins - Captain America (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
After the supervillains have won, they auction off the Avengers. Even though the Winter Soldier does not have the money to bid, he knows that Captain America belongs to him.

Please heed the warnings: this fic features graphic depictions of violence and sexual assault, a physically and sexually abusive relationship, and mentions of suicide.
fandom:avengers  year:2013  notes:depressing  notes:dark  notes:negative.ending  tw:non-con  tw:abuse  length:10k-20k  p:marvel:bucky/steve 
june 2018 by rainbowslinky
Rich Man, Poor Man, Beggar Man, Thief - Chapter 1 - OddityBoddity - Captain America (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
He has learned, from listening in cafes and in bars, that Steve Rogers has come to the future with him, and that he is working in SHIELD, and SHIELD is, was, one of Hydra’s many heads.

[Steve’s got his bag open and is extracting something blue and limp and soft-looking. A sweater. There’s white writing in plastic letters on it. He holds it up. It says, I am Steve Rogers. Clint beams, like he’s seeing his very own child. He nods at Bucky.

“C’mon,” he says.

Bucky opens the bag and draws out the sweater. It says, If found please return to Steve Rogers.

“You’re fucking kidding me,” Bucky says softly. “This is about seventy years too late.”]
He knows that Steve Rogers has disappeared. That he was summoned to a hearing and did not attend, and this has made the news. It did not escape Bucky’s notice that Steve Rogers is a match for him, even with the metal arm. It is not outside the realm of possibility that Rogers is going to try to recover the Asset. It may even be that Steve is an Asset himself.
fandom:avengers  subject:memory  pov:bucky.barnes  pov:steve.rogers  year:2015  notes:positive.ending  notes:cute  notes:mindthetags  notes:depressing  length:20k-50k  genre:action  p:marvel:bucky/steve 
june 2018 by rainbowslinky
Dragging Me Down - Chapter 1 - cleo4u2, cobaltmoony, xantissa - Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
After D.C., Hydra captured the Winter Soldier and brought him in for recalibration. Though Steve and Natasha performed a daring rescue, they were too late.
Now Steve has to pretend to be the new Hydra handler for his brainwashed friend while they try to stay under the radar long enough to heal. There are other forces at work, that will not let them rest.
[the one with bucky's symbiotic metal arm]
fandom:avengers  length:50k+  year:2018  notes:depressing  subject:depression  tw:abuse  p:marvel:bucky/steve 
may 2018 by rainbowslinky
A Million Stars - kaesaria - Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
[Bucky can't let the words out. Tony can't hold them back. Apathy, anger and insomnia: the road to recovery is anything but uncluttered. The boys have to find a way through traumas both near and distant, and Steve has to step back and let them... no matter how hard that is.]

"“It wasn’t the point.” Stark makes a dismissive wave with his hand, as if that’s supposed to mean something to Bucky. “Hurting me, I mean. That wasn’t the point. They were just—bored. The guys guarding me. They were looking for ways to pass the time. I just—I don’t think anyone told them not to, so they figured what the hell.”

“Secondary function.”

It’s out before Bucky’s brain catches up with his mouth."
fandom:avengers  tw:non-con  notes:positive.ending  notes:depressing  length:01K-05K  length:10k-20k  year:2016  p:marvel:tony/steve  c:marvel:tony.stark  c:marvel:bucky.barnes  c:marvel:steve.rogers  p:marvel:bucky/steve/tony  !rec  !favorites 
april 2018 by rainbowslinky
Not Unwanted, Not Unloved - Chapter 1 - Little_Iago, stuckytrash (Watsittoyou) - Captain America (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
They'd resigned themselves to never becoming parents - until Bucky gets pregnant and drops off the grid without even a whisper to his mate about his condition.
Steve will still raze the earth to find him, but that doesn't mean he likes what he finds.
fandom:avengers  subject:pregnancy  year:2017  length:50k+  trope:alpha/omega  subject:kidnapping  genre:angst  notes:depressing  notes:positive.ending  c:marvel:bucky.barnes  p:marvel:bucky/steve 
march 2018 by rainbowslinky
Everything Stuck to Him - Lauralot - Captain America (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
Bucky's body no longer belonged to HYDRA. He could do anything he wanted with it, and Steve couldn't stop him.

[This story was inspired by two prompts from the Hydra Trash Meme: the first requesting Bucky aggressively owning his bodily autonomy, to the point of self-destructive behaviors, and the second requesting Steve self-harming during Bucky's recovery due to guilt.]
fandom:avengers  tw:abuse  tw:self-harm  subject:alcohol/drugs  notes:dark  notes:depressing  length:05k-10k  authors:l  subject:ptsd  subject:depression  c:marvel:bucky.barnes  p:marvel:bucky/steve 
march 2018 by rainbowslinky
Lullaby for Cain - balefully - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
In the mid 1950s, Niall dreams of being a star like the famous pop icon Louis Tomlinson. When he finds himself in the right place at the right time, he does whatever he can to make it happen. Louis's record label contracts Niall to retrieve their prodigal son from the jaws of debauched luxury and force him to finish his latest album. Of course, Niall takes the job. When he finally arrives in Italy, Niall finds Louis living in sin with the film ingenue Harry Styles in a lush villa by the beach. He can't help falling in love with their lavish lifestyle--and with them, as well. Louis proves mercurial and demanding, however, and pushes Niall into a violent mistake that will haunt him for the rest of his life. As he spirals, Niall is pursued by Zayn Malik, Louis's best friend. He's been suspicious of Niall from the start, and as he and Harry close in on Niall's secret, Niall must defend himself in the only way he's able. Even the love of Bressie, a kind and genuine musician from Niall's hometown, can't save him in the midst of this collapsing house of cards. With international police involved and the body count rising, Niall must face the music alone.
fandom:one.direction  p:1d:niall/bressie  p:1d:harry/louis/niall  length:20k-50k  type:big.bang  notes:dark  notes:depressing  subject:murder  notes:negative.ending  author:balefully  genre:historical 
may 2017 by rainbowslinky
Emperor's New Clothes - Chapter 1 - sunsetmog - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
The fact that Louis’s most precious belonging was a cat with a face like thunder and an uncanny ability to cover every single inch of Louis’s clothing with cat hair was something that Louis chose not to think about too much.

or: Harry’s a pop star and Louis isn’t, and there’s a non-disclosure agreement where there used to be a relationship.
fandom:one.direction  p:1d:harry/louis  author:sunsetmog  length:50k+  subject:animals  subject:depression  trope:secret.relationship  trope:famous/notfamous  notes:depressing  !favorites  !rec  notes:therapy 
may 2017 by rainbowslinky
With a whimper - Chapter 1 - kitundercover - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
The long-haired man grips his arm tightly. “You’re not going to say anything.” It’s not a question.

Louis shakes his head, his body twitching. It hurts.

“Fine.” Large eyes survey him before letting go. “It’s cold. Take this. Wear it.”

Louis can’t help another flinch as the man’s long scarf is wrapped round his tender neck. It’s still warm. Louis touches the soft material. “Thank you.”

The man bears his teeth. “Don’t thank me. Don’t ever thank me.”


Dystopian AU. Louis has been alone for too long to remember how not to be, and Harry has too much to worry about to deal with a scrawny, wild, stranger.
fandom:one.direction  p:1d:harry/louis  subject:apocalypse  setting:dystopia  !favorites  !rec  notes:dark  notes:depressing  notes:heartbreaking  genre:angst  genre:hurt/comfort  length:100k+  quality:***** 
december 2016 by rainbowslinky
Wasted Youth// There Wasn't Much to Waste - musiclily88 - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
“You’re a mess,” Liam said, rolling his eyes.

“Hey, Lou,” Harry called from somewhere near the front of the house. “Where are you?”

“Um. There’s also that.” Louis clenched his jaw, giving Liam a timid look. “Kitchen!” he called belatedly.
fandom:one.direction  p:1d:louis/zayn  p:1d:liam/louis  p:1d:harry/louis  p:1d:harry/louis/liam  tw:suicide  tw:self-harm  subject:ptsd  subject:depression  *unfinished  *WIP  notes:depressing 
september 2016 by rainbowslinky
Saturday July 4th - catholicschoolgirl - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
"Do you think we’ll still be doing this next year?” Louis asked suddenly. “Like — after graduation and all?”
“Course we will,” Zayn said. In the moment, it was unfathomable that they wouldn’t. Hell, this was just what they did. They worked stupid jobs. They spent their spare cash on weed and burgers. They put miles on Harry’s car the night before the Fourth of July. They didn’t give voice to the surging, knotty ties that drew the three of them together. “Best friends forever, right?”
“Forever and ever,” Harry swore.

[i've literally said "jesus christ" like five times out loud now. gorgeous but painful in a lot of ways.]
fandom:one.direction  p:1d:harry/zayn  p:1d:harry/louis  subject:infidelity  genre:angst  subject:drugs  setting:road.trip  notes:ouch  notes:depressing  quality:*****  notes:quality.descriptions 
august 2016 by rainbowslinky
Who Painted the Moon Black - Chapter 1 - throughthedark - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
“People died,” Harry whispers so quietly Louis strains to hear. “People died, and I killed some of them. How does life just go on after something like that?”

Louis shakes his head. “I don't know. It just does.”

Hunger Games AU where Louis Tomlinson is district six's victor from the 69th Hunger Games and Harry Styles is district seven's victor from the 72nd Hunger Games.
fandom:one.direction  fandom:thg  p:1d:harry/louis  length:50k+  notes:heartbreaking  notes:amazing  genre:fusion  quality:*****  authors:t  !favorites  !rec  genre:angst  notes:depressing  tw:violence  tw:abuse 
august 2016 by rainbowslinky
king of new york - theamazingpeterparker - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
"I’m not a cop,” Niall starts with, doesn’t really know why.
The man’s eyes crinkle and when he tugs the bandana down he’s smiling. He’s handsome. “Cops don’t usually say hi when they’re coming to arrest me,” is all he says, tucks his face back into the bandana and waves a hand that Niall understands to mean step back. “Watch my back, yeah?”

Louis is a street artist who hates rich upper east siders. Niall is a rich upper east sider.
fandom:one.direction  p:1d:louis/niall  character-type:artist  !masterpost  !rec  genre:angst  notes:depressing  subject:breakups  !has.a.sequel  authors:t  setting:nyc 
august 2016 by rainbowslinky
a building storm - Chapter 1 - outofcases - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
"The news reports, months ago, had said that this winter would be a mild one. It seems like no one really accounted for this much snow."

The story of a boy who can control the weather, and how his entire world crashes down around him.
fandom:one.direction  p:1d:harry/louis  !rec  quality:*****  type:big.bang  character-type:!with.powers  setting:winter  length:100k+  year:2016  genre:action  genre:angst  notes:depressing  notes:positive.ending  tw:violence  authors:o 
march 2016 by rainbowslinky
beware of your youth, darling - Chapter 1 - brokendrums - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
Niall, Harry and Louis had always been told at school that their lives were filled with purpose, that they were special and that some day soon they'd be able to give up their lives so another could live on. It was supposed to be aspirational but from Niall's new home in a dark and damp farmhouse on the outskirts of town, Niall couldn't help but think it was futile. The clock ticks on.

A Never Let Me Go AU. [read all the warnings!!!]
fandom:one.direction  p:1d:harry/louis  p:1d:harry/niall  notes:negative.ending  notes:depressing  subject:character.death  year:2016  notes:unsettling  notes:unique  quality:*****  length:20k-50k  authors:b  !favorites  !rec  author:brokendrums 
march 2016 by rainbowslinky
In Any Universe - Chelsea Frew (chelseafrew) - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
Harry and Louis are happy. Yes, they are closeted, but they love each other and love their jobs as members of One Direction. Their happiness is shattered when they are in a car accident and Louis wakes up having forgotten the last five years of his life. He doesn't remember being on The X-Factor, being a part of One Direction or, most devastating, Harry. Estranged from the love of his life when Louis retreats to what he does remember, Harry discovers that he's pregnant. What will he do if Louis doesn't recover his memory, and he's faced with being a single parent? What will he do without Louis?

[spoiler note: louis's memory does not return]
fandom:one.direction  p:1d:harry/louis  subject:pregnancy  subject:amnesia  type:big.bang  length:50k+  authors:c  notes:depressing  notes:positive.ending  genre:angst  year:2016 
march 2016 by rainbowslinky
Rose and White Dawn - angelwarm - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
It’s not about being scared. It’s about being reasonable, doing the right thing. Eventually Louis would do something to Harry he couldn’t fix, and the thought of that boy breaking beneath him is too much to—it’s not fair. It’s not fair to Harry. He should be able to love someone that can love him back, no questions asked. Easy, easy, easy.

Louis can’t love properly anymore. He doesn’t know how.

He just knows how to take, how to run. How to stain a body black with his hands.
fandom:one.direction  p:1d:harry/louis  tw:non-con  tw:self-harm  notes:depressing  notes:positive.ending  notes:lovely  length:20k-50k  authors:a  genre:au  subject:ptsd 
december 2015 by rainbowslinky
where did the party go - shuttermutt - One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF [Archive of Our Own]
"…insofar as the two parties who want to wed should decide to do so before they have both reached the age of eighteen (section 1.ii) they will have a period of one year henceforth to decide if the marriage is fruitful and if not, they shall be allowed to part as if having not been married in the first place…" Section 2 of the 'Romeo and Juliet law', passed into law in Britain and its territories, 1803

They duck into a tattoo parlour that’s halfway between the city centre and Harry’s mum’s and Zayn gets two black lines carefully inked onto his left ring finger. He smiles up at Harry while it’s being done.

"It’ll last forever," he says. "Just like us."
p:1d:harry/zayn  genre:angst  subject:marriage  type:big.bang  authors:s  site:ao3  year:2015  quality:*****  rating:nc-17  notes:depressing  notes:;_;  notes:positive.ending  fandom:one.direction 
june 2015 by rainbowslinky
What the Water Gave Me - rockinaintnowalkinthepark - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
Louis is dead, and Zayn is the one left to pick up the pieces. Told from Zayn's perspective ~ "I can’t quite figure out why Harry’s become the fucked instead of the fuck-er, because it was quite obvious from the two years we had to listen to them that the roles were reversed. Maybe he needs to feel full again after having so much taken out of him, or maybe he likes to hurt, too."
notes:depressing  notes:dark  p:1d:harry/louis  p:1d:harry/zayn  subject:character.death  tw:suicide  tag:needs.  fandom:one.direction 
may 2015 by rainbowslinky
you rid me of the blues - justaboat - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
louis goes to find harry. canon.

[When the water’s boiled Harry hands him a mug of tea, just how Louis likes it. Something inside of Louis’ chest tightens, knowing Harry hasn’t forgotten his tea. It’s probably not a big thing, though. So Louis shouldn’t make it one.]
p:1d:harry/louis  notes:positive.ending  notes:depressing  type:future!fic  tag:needs.  fandom:one.direction 
april 2015 by rainbowslinky
The King of Spades - Chapter 1 - hazmesentir - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
Undercover Metropolitan Police officer DC Louis Tomlinson has worked his way up the ranks of a prominent London crime family without raising suspicion, but when he finds himself pitted against a rising crime boss with a police background and a favoured employee by the name of Harry Styles, everything starts to unravel. Finding himself in the middle of an escalating war between two bosses whose bad blood runs deep into a violent past, Louis has to be even more careful where he steps in case his big secret catches up to him – and if it does, he knows he won't survive it.

Not to mention he's falling for someone he can't have – whose earnestness and honesty is a bright spot in a dark world – he can't sleep because his nightmares haunt him and he's in way over his head, but it's just a game, always just a game, and if Louis plays his cards right he might just make it out alive.
p:1d:harry/louis  length:100k+  character-type:criminal  character-type:lawman  notes:positive.ending  notes:depressing  tw:violence  fandom:one.direction  authors:h  site:ao3  year:2014  quality:*****  !rec  genre:action  rating:nc-17 
april 2015 by rainbowslinky
False Start - Chapter 1 - jfcxtommo - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
The phone call itself had been quite brief. Simon was simply informing him that The X-Factor was announcing its final series and they wanted to bring back the show’s biggest acts as both a nod to the fans, and a subtle reminder of the show’s impact on all their lives. Louis couldn’t disagree with that kind of logic and figured, a couple weeks mentoring, or maybe a pre-recorded performance was something he could white-knuckle out. Hell, maybe he’d even get some of that closure people were so fond of mentioning when they shook their heads and mumbled about what a shame it ended the way it did.

Or: After 5 albums and 5 world tours, the men of One Direction are called back to where it all began. Unfortunately, the reunion doesn't go exactly as planned.

[louis has the ED. this is post recovery but near relapse. good at showing what a struggle it is. bad at giving me a satisfying ending.]
tw:eating.disorder  fandom:one.direction  p:1d:harry/louis  notes:depressing  notes:negative.ending  tag:needs. 
march 2015 by rainbowslinky
my remedy for yesterday - brokendrums - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
It’s been three years since One Direction finally parted ways. Three long years where Niall’s stayed away from home on a never ending holiday. Three years since he’s seen Harry in the flesh and not just splashed across the tabloids or overplayed on the radio.

Niall’s just docked his boat in Ibiza, ready to soak up the sun, when an unexpected accident brings Harry into his life again. And while Niall recuperates on Harry’s patch of sandy white beach old feelings start to emerge, not all of them pleasant.
notes:ouch  p:1d:harry/niall  fandom:one.direction  authors:b  type:big.bang  genre:angst  setting:beach  type:future!fic  genre:hurt/comfort  subject:injury  quality:*****  length:20k-50k  notes:depressing  year:2015  site:ao3  author:brokendrums 
march 2015 by rainbowslinky
hoping this cold blue water scrubs me clean and spits me out again - phantasmagoria (whiteteethteen) - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
"Stay," Harry whispers desperately, pressing his lips to Louis' temple like he can somehow ease the pain that's blooming there, but he can't make the pain stop and no matter how hard he tries he can't make Louis stay.

[this is the saddest thing i think i've EVER READ oh god but it was so sAD and so lovely :(]

[now deleted, reposted by someone else here - https://archiveofourown.org/works/12955197]
fandom:one.direction  p:1d:harry/louis  rating:r  length:10k-20k  subject:character.death  notes:;_;  notes:depressing  notes::(  genre:angst  subject:illness  subject:cancer  site:ao3  year:2014  authors:p  quality:*****  !favorites  !rec  tag:now.deleted 
december 2014 by rainbowslinky
(break me) like a promise - pendules - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
Louis wonders why he's so fascinated by self-destruction. Maybe the people who are are the ones who could never really accomplish it, the ones who are too hopeful, the ones who care too much, the ones who feel too much and wish they didn't.

It's easier, really, than admitting you don't know what the right thing is anymore.

Maybe Louis' skin is clean but his thoughts aren't. Running away is easy as long as you don't look back, but Louis's never known how to do either.

Harry hasn't asked him anything yet, about what his plans are, if he's going to go to uni, and maybe he won't. Louis actually doesn't know what he'll say if he does. He tells people he's on a gap year; maybe it's the truth, maybe it's just his life now.

[Louis lives in a sleepy college town, helping his mum taking care of his sisters. Harry's just started school and is working part-time at a bakery he frequents.]
fandom:one.direction  !favorites  !rec  notes:depressing  notes:heartsforeyes  notes:positive.ending  notes:beautiful  p:1d:harry/louis  rating:r  setting:college  genre:angst  genre:romance  genre:au  length:10k-20k  year:2014  site:ao3  quality:*****  authors:p 
october 2014 by rainbowslinky
Young & Beautiful - Velvetoscar - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
Louis, to his horror, attends an elitist university in which the name Zayn Malik means something, Niall Horan doesn't stop talking, there are pianos everywhere, and Harry Styles, only son of a drug-addled, clinically insane ex-rocker, has a perfect smile and empty eyes.

[this was a wild ride from start to finish]
genre:hurt/comfort  setting:college  length:50k+  p:1d:harry/louis  notes:depressing  notes:dark  !favorites  fandom:one.direction  length:100k+  tag:needs. 
september 2014 by rainbowslinky
So much stays unknown till the time has come - becka - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
[While on holiday in 2011, Louis has an unexpected visitor from his future.]
“Please,” says Harry. “If there’s anyone in the world you can say it to, it’s me. We’re still best mates, aren’t we? We still have that, right?”

There’s something about the way his voice catches that makes Louis’s stomach pitch sharply. He hasn’t imagined a world where he and Harry stop being best mates, and he doesn’t want to. “Do we still live together when you’re from?” he asks.

“I can’t answer that,” says Harry, which is obviously a no because Harry isn’t less shit of a liar however many years on.
p:1d:harry/louis  notes:;_;  notes:depressing  fandom:one.direction  length:05k-10k  rating:nc-17  subject:time.travel  genre:angst  genre:romance  kink:rimming  type:first-time  quality:*****  year:2014  site:ao3  author:becka 
june 2014 by rainbowslinky
if you call my name (tomlinshaw ficlet pt 5/5)
more of that universe where louis comes out by moaning over the phone to nick on live radio. late night skype calls.
fandom:one.direction  site:tumblr  !part.of.a.series  genre:angst  genre:romance  notes:depressing  notes::/  quality:*****  length:01K-05K  year:2014  p:1d:louis/nick 
april 2014 by rainbowslinky
empty skies aching blue - TinyBeautifulTales (MikeandHarveyTime) - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
“are you alright, love?” louis asks. harry is so young, so painfully young, and louis privately thinks that everyone is probably in love with him. even the people who claim to hate him are just frustrated that they can see how beautiful he is on the inside and the outside and they can’t touch that. they can’t claim it or have it, and they don’t understand beauty like that, genuine honesty and goodness.
tw:self-harm  !favorites  fandom:one.direction  p:1d:harry/louis  notes:intense  notes:depressing  tag:needs. 
march 2014 by rainbowslinky
An Englishman in New York - tilda - One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF [Archive of Our Own]
[It’s been a long time and Harry thought he’d let Nick go.]
Nick looks up.

He’s older obviously, but still with the same impish set to his face. It’s like looking into the past and future at the same time. They hold each other’s gaze as Harry makes his way over, Nick taking a sip of his drink without breaking eye contact. He doesn’t get up, just stays half-sitting on the stool, until Harry’s stood in front of him. They’re both threatening to smile any second and Harry wonders who’s going to break first.

[sequel here - http://archiveofourown.org/works/3783406]
rating:nc-17  fandom:one.direction  length:10k-20k  !favorites  quality:*****  site:ao3  year:2014  notes:depressing  notes:heartsforeyes  notes:fantastic  notes:positive.ending  type:future!fic  notes:unsettling  setting:nyc  genre:angst  genre:romance  p:1d:harry/nick  !has.a.sequel 
march 2014 by rainbowslinky
All The Songs That You Sing In The Dark - pukeandcry - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
Louis is tired constantly, bags under his eyes. Harry will press up against him the moment they get to the shed, kissing and licking and biting, pulling Louis’ clothes off. He pushes Louis onto the broken wooden floor and yanks off his clothes, lays Louis flat on his back and presses inside him until Louis can only see blackness, no stars. He bites too hard at Louis’ neck, his hips, his chest, like he’s trying to consume him, and Louis lets him.

[What happened was that first people got sick.

What happened after that was that they died.

But the worst thing was what happened after that. After they died, they came back.]
fandom:one.direction  p:1d:harry/louis  subject:zombies  genre:humor  subject:ghosts  subject:grief/mourning  site:ao3  quality:*****  notes:depressing  notes:;_;  notes:dark  notes:negative.ending  length:10k-20k  subject:character.death  rating:r 
february 2014 by rainbowslinky
as loud as lions - Chapter 1 - likecharity - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
Every few seconds there's a blinding camera flash, and it's overwhelming even for Harry so he can't imagine how Louis feels. All he can do is hold his hand, tight, like they've never been allowed to in public before, and let all these middle-aged men with their zoom lenses get a good long look.
fandom:one.direction  authors:l  site:ao3  rating:pg-13  tw:homophobia  length:20k-50k  quality:****  year:2012  genre:angst  notes:depressing  notes:positive.ending  author:likecharity  p:1d:harry/louis 
november 2013 by rainbowslinky
parallel on the other side - brojan - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
"I wish I could stay," he mutters, somewhere near Harry's neck. Sleep is already taking him, against his will, another force working against him.

"And I wish I could keep you," Harry says. Liam feels a kiss against his forehead, Harry's hands still rubbing his back, and then he doesn't feel anything else.

[liam doesn't believe in ghosts, but harry is nice to him anyway. (a casper AU, sort of)]
fandom:one.direction  !favorites  !rec  genre:au  character-type:ghost  notes:lovely  notes:depressing  notes:;_;  character-type:student  year:2013  length:20k-50k  notes:negative.ending  quality:*****  authors:b  p:1d:harry/liam 
october 2013 by rainbowslinky
leira17: break me down [1/1]
His voice is low in your ear and the wind is blowing strands of his hair onto your cheek and the moon is somewhere above you and you can hear laughter through an open window in the nearest building and you think this wouldn’t be a bad place to die.
fandom:one.direction  site:lj  authors:l  length:01K-05K  tw:self-harm  tw:suicide  !favorites  notes:depressing  notes:dark  quality:*****  year:2012  author:leira17  p:1d:harry/louis 
october 2013 by rainbowslinky
Through the Darkest of Your Days - robpatFF - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
"Harry thinks he might not really know what okay is, but Louis is warm next to him, solid and constant and questioning. He’s all wide eyes and nerves and vulnerability. And this feels alright, this might be some sort of okay, Harry thinks." Future!fic, roadtrip!fic, OT5 friendship!fic.
fandom:one.direction  site:ao3  authors:r  rating:r  !favorites  year:2012  quality:*****  length:20k-50k  subject:alcohol  type:future!fic  notes:ouch  notes:;_;  notes:depressing  setting:road.trip  p:1d:harry/louis 
october 2013 by rainbowslinky
things have gotten closer to the sun - starseas - One Direction (Band) [Archive of Our Own]
it’s strange, making the choice to face his past—it almost feels like he’s heading for the sun straight on, like he’s screaming come on and burn me, i deserve it.


when a solar flare is announced to end the world in twelve days, harry reunites with the people that he used to know better than the back of his own hand.

[literally crying just thinking about it. so gorgeous but so so sad.]
fandom:one.direction  !favorites  !rec  notes:;_;  notes:depressing  notes:beautiful  subject:character.death  type:future!fic  length:20k-50k  rating:r  quality:*****  year:2013  site:ao3  subject:apocalypse  authors:s  genre:angst  author:starseas  p:1d:harry/louis  p:1d:liam/zayn 
september 2013 by rainbowslinky
Lights - quigonejinn - Pacific Rim (2013) [Archive of Our Own]
Something that makes /leaving the lights/ on worse: every time it happens, it's your younger brother on his knees, your younger brother with his mouth on your dick, your younger brother held up against the wall by you, not willing, but also not saying no because the two of you are /lit up and moving together/, as jaeger pilots call it.
fandom:pacific.rim  pairing:raleigh/yancy  !favorites  notes:depressing  notes:ouch  tw:dub-con  kink:voyeurism  site:ao3  quality:*****  year:2013  rating:nc-17  length:01K-05K 
september 2013 by rainbowslinky
Down the Rabbit Hole We Go. - khaosanomaly - Pacific Rim (2013) [Archive of Our Own]
All he wants is to fool himself for a little while, to chase the Rabbit down the hole; but this is the closest he'll ever get outside of the Drift.

(And it's not enough. It's never enough.)
fandom:pacific.rim  pairing:raleigh/chuck  type:pwp  rating:nc-17  site:ao3  year:2013  quality:***  authors:k  genre:angst  notes:depressing  kink:handjob  length:01K-05K 
august 2013 by rainbowslinky
Us Ones in Between - comeswithaprice - Pacific Rim (2013) [Archive of Our Own]
He likes the pain. There’s no point in denying it. The needle touches his skin and he likes the way it feels, the scratch and burn of it - he even likes the humming noise of the Stigma Rotary. Six hours later, Trespasser is staring at him from his left thigh.
fandom:pacific.rim  pairing:newt/hermann  year:2013  quality:*****  length:05k-10k  site:ao3  authors:c  rating:r  type:character.study  genre:angst  notes:depressing  notes:fantastic  notes:positive.ending  subject:tattoos 
august 2013 by rainbowslinky
you're my apocalypse - epistolic - Pacific Rim (2013) [Archive of Our Own]
The entire world believes they are in love, but this is not true.

It isn’t easy to explain. She has been in his mind and he has been in hers: after that, the human definition of love begins to feel somewhat flimsy. In a crowded room, he always knows where she is. When he sleeps, she can read his dreams in his face. They don’t touch anymore – not unless absolutely necessary – physical touch feels more and more like a sham, like placing a candle next to the sun.
subject:addiction  fandom:pacific.rim  character:mako.mori  pairing:raleigh/mako  site:ao3  year:2013  authors:e  rating:r  notes:depressing  notes:;_;  setting:post-movie  quality:*****  !favorites  !rec  length:01K-05K 
july 2013 by rainbowslinky
Bowfishing - tawg - Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
“Despite falling out of drift a number of times – and I’m sure you’re aware that even a brief falter in the connection has been a big enough weakness to bring down a Jaeger – your team never registered a system failure.” Coulson turned to look at Clint again, and the sharpness of his gaze made Clint stumble. “I’m not sure you realise how extraordinary that is,” he said quietly. [Clint knows he's lucky to have lived to see life after the Kaiju war, but that doesn't mean he'll turn down a chance to return to the Jaeger project.]
!favorites  authors:t  fandom:avengers  fandom:pacific.rim  pov:clint.barton  genre:fusion  genre:action  rating:g  genre:gen  setting:post-movie  type:future!fic  notes:fantastic  notes:depressing  notes:heartsforeyes  site:ao3  quality:*****  year:2013  c:marvel:clint.barton 
july 2013 by rainbowslinky
your friend and a fuck up and everything - labeledbones - Star Trek RPF [Archive of Our Own]
Zach’s hands are gripping the collar of Chris’ shirt, trying to push him away and keep him there all at once. He lets himself sink into it, just briefly, just to see, just to- But he feels nothing from Chris. He feels things for Chris: warm true affection undercut with hot electric desire. But there’s just nothing coming back.
fandom:star.trek  genre:rps/rpf  year:2013  rating:pg  site:ao3  quality:*****  notes:depressing  notes:;_;  notes:FEELS  genre:romance  genre:angst  authors:l  length:01K-05K  p:st:chris/zach 
july 2013 by rainbowslinky
Maybe In Another Universe I Deserve You - zarimav - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]
[Russia held particular remembrance because he was there when they took the Czar and his family away. He remembered Nicholas's proud face and the scared looks of his daughters. Enjolras (Evgeni then) was so proud, and for once Grantaire thought that they would live this one out. Evgeni fucked him that night, and he was happy in his victory and Grantaire almost couldn't bear it. They were fumbling in the dark, breathless laughter punctuated by breathless moans, and they fell asleep entwined. Grantaire felt as close to complete as he had since he'd first had Enjolras in his grasp almost a hundred years ago.]
fandom:les.mis  pairing:enjolras/grantaire  subject:reincarnation  genre:angst  notes:depressing  site:ao3  subject:character.death  notes:positive.ending  quality:*****  year:2013  authors:z  length:10k-20k  rating:r  tw:violence  tw:homophobia 
june 2013 by rainbowslinky
sammehsayum: Brittle
When Sam gets his acceptance letter to Stanford he’s six feet and three inches tall and weighs one hundred forty pounds and he eats a whole half a carton of yogurt. When he and his father scream it out in front of his brother Sam is six feet and three inches and weighs one hundred thirty three pounds and he doesn’t eat for two days. When Sam arrives at Stanford he’s six feet and three inches tall and weighs one hundred thirty pounds and he’s scared so shitless he tears open a bag of sunflower seeds and eats in escalating single digit prime numbers every half hour and then loops back until the bag is gone almost a week and a half later. [Sam Winchester has an eating disorder. ]
year:2012  pairing:dean/sam  length:20K-50K  fandom:supernatural  genre:angst  quality:****  rating:nc-17  authors:s  notes:depressing  tw:eating.disorder  from delicious
march 2013 by rainbowslinky
W.I.P.E. - tsukinofaerii - Marvel 616 [Archive of Our Own]
An AU of the events covering SIEGE and immediate after. When Tony is rebooted after deleting his brain, he's left with no memory of anything, and lingering programs that keep him from finding out everything he missed. Sometimes you just need to start over, but there's always a place in every plan for a backup.
fandom:avengers  verse:616  authors:t  site:ao3  length:50k+  year:2011  !favorites  notes:depressing  notes:dark  subject:amnesia  quality:*****  !masterpost  p:marvel:tony/steve 
october 2012 by rainbowslinky
Energy - bellinibeignet
[An unlikely love story with inspiration from the lives of Bonnie & Clyde, Energy unfolds a tragic destiny for the man avenging his daughter's death, and a young student who is looking for meaning after losing everything that matters.][This one hurts. Not ooc necessarily but certainly...different.]
notes:depressing  notes:dark  tw:violence  tw:suicide  notes:negative.ending  subject:character.death  rating:r  fandom:avengers  year:2012  length:05k-10k  site:ao3  authors:b  genre:angst  genre:romance  genre:action  notes:ooc  notes:ouch  character-type:criminal  genre:au  !favorites  quality:****  p:marvel:tony/steve 
september 2012 by rainbowslinky
the clothes make the man - kink meme fill
[He's gotten used to his serum-enhanced body, mostly- moving in it, fighting in it- but, somewhere in the back of his mind, it still doesn't really feel like his.]
type:commentfic  fandom:avengers  site:lj  genre:gen  tw:body.dysphoria  pov:steve.rogers  genre:angst  notes:depressing  quality:****  year:2012  length:<1k  authors:i  c:marvel:steve.rogers 
september 2012 by rainbowslinky
cashing in our bad luck - girl0nfire - The Avengers (2012), Marvel [Archive of Our Own]
Stories like theirs don’t have heroes.

Which is good, Steve thinks. It’s good because heroes shouldn’t know the best way to gut another human being with a crowbar; heroes don’t sit by a hand-crank radio screaming into silence.

Heroes don’t wonder what it would be like to join the villains.
[James, Steve, and Natasha stick together in a New York where the dead walk again.]
fandom:avengers  subject:character.death  subject:zombies  setting:nyc  length:<1k  year:2012  authors:g  site:ao3  quality:****  genre:gen  genre:au  genre:action  genre:angst  notes:depressing  notes:negative.ending  notes:dark  c:marvel:bucky.barnes  c:marvel:natasha.romanova  c:marvel:steve.rogers 
september 2012 by rainbowslinky
tell me i'm your national anthem - lanyon - The Avengers (2012), Captain America (2011) [Archive of Our Own]
When Bucky emerges from the ice, the world is a painfully different place. He doesn’t know how he survived.

Clint Barton asks if he swapped any bodily fluids with the first Captain America. Bucky punches him and then takes the shield.

Clint’s face cracks into a bloody grin. “I think I’m gonna like you, Bucky-Cap.”

Bucky doesn’t know what to make of him, any more than he knows what to make of Tony Stark or Natasha Romanov or Bruce Banner or alien gods that fall from the sky. He thinks he’s got the measure of Phil Coulson, until he dies, as all good men must.

[Steve Rogers falls from a speeding train and Bucky Barnes is left to carry the mantle and the shield. In the twenty-first century, the Winter Soldier is brought in from the cold and there can be no redemption.]
fandom:avengers  genre:au  genre:angst  subject:character.death  tw:violence  notes:negative.ending  notes:depressing  notes:dark  rating:r  authors:l  site:ao3  quality:*****  !rec  !favorites  year:2012  type:role.reversal  length:01K-05K  p:marvel:tony/bucky  p:marvel:bucky/steve 
september 2012 by rainbowslinky
Siege - Kiyaar - Iron Man (Comic), Captain America (Comics), Marvel 616 [Archive of Our Own]
Tony wants to kiss him back, match his ferocity bit by bit, but his mouth is well and truly smashed up. He reciprocates weakly, tries to grab Steve’s bottom lip between his, but Steve is calling the shots, and Tony’s bleeding and exhausted and desolate, so he lets Steve have his way. Lets him grind his head into the ground. Lets him pin him utterly with nothing but muscle and determination.

[Set during 'Casualties of War.' Tony meets with Steve to tell him something important. It all goes to hell after that.][from the prompt: Casualties of War plays out like Buffy's "Smashed"]
fandom:avengers  verse:616  setting:civil.war  length:05k-10k  authors:k  notes:depressing  notes:dark  year:2012  site:ao3  quality:*****  rating:nc-17  pov:tony.stark  genre:angst  tw:violence  !rec  type:first-time  subject:injury  subject:extremis  notes:unsettling  notes:ouch  tw:non-con  tw:dub-con  tw:abuse  p:marvel:tony/steve 
august 2012 by rainbowslinky
I’ll remember best of all, all the things we didn’t say - dorcas_gustine - Marvel 616 [Archive of Our Own]
<i>What have you done?</i>

<i>what was necessary</i>

It always comes to this with Tony, then. What is necessary. Who will be the one to set just how high the price to pay to be? How terrible the sacrifice? When will he learn that the end won’t always justify the means.

[Steve comes back and everything's gonna be alright. ...Right?]
fandom:avengers  verse:616  year:2009  length:05k-10k  pov:steve.rogers  subject:character.death  genre:angst  rating:pg-13  notes:depressing  setting:dark.reign  notes:negative.ending  notes:;_;  site:ao3  quality:*****  authors:d  notes:ouch  notes:unsettling  notes:heartbreaking  !favorites  !rec  c:marvel:bucky.barnes  p:marvel:tony/steve 
august 2012 by rainbowslinky
Rusted Wheel (or How the Civil War Might Have Ended) - Kiyaar
He’s still mildly surprised when the bullet rips through his chest. He’s still clutching at the scale on Steve’s chest when two more catch his stomach.

What a sloppy fucking sniper, he thinks as he falls.

No regrets, he decides.

[Tony was on the steps of the Courthouse and took the bullets for Steve.]
fandom:avengers  verse:616  setting:civil.war  authors:k  site:ao3  quality:*****  year:2012  genre:angst  subject:character.death  rating:pg-13  notes:;_;  pov:tony.stark  notes:depressing  notes:negative.ending  notes:ouch  pov:steve.rogers  length:01K-05K  p:marvel:tony/steve 
august 2012 by rainbowslinky
aliana_iskassa: The Sound of Wings
[And Steve realizes, as he stares into Tony’s dull eyes, that it won’t be long before Death is back, this time for both of them.][Steve dies, then makes a deal with Death to not leave Tony's side until Tony dies. Tony lives a very depressing life without Steve. Tony dies. They're reunited.]
fandom:avengers  authors:a  length:05k-10k  notes:positive.ending  subject:character.death  rating:r  genre:angst  genre:au  notes:depressing  verse:616  setting:civil.war  setting:post-civil.war  setting:dark.reign  site:lj  quality:****  year:2008  character-type:ghost  p:marvel:tony/steve 
august 2012 by rainbowslinky
Held In Our Hands - icarus_chained
Robotics was not Bruce's field. Not by a long shot. But even he understood the sheer depth of complexity JARVIS must have, to be able to do the things he did. To be able to register, understand, and formulate plans for the environment around him. To be able to conceptualise human thought-processes, emotions, foibles, to a level that the AI could interact with them on a footing indistinguishable from a human's. To be able to react with a sense of personhood, identity and ego that, to be honest, almost matched Tony's own, if in a vastly more understated manner. [Bruce, JARVIS and Tony, and what power means.]
fandom:avengers  subject:robots  authors:i  notes:;_;  notes:depressing  pov:bruce.banner  genre:angst  genre:gen  rating:pg-13  site:ao3  quality:*****  year:2012  !favorites  !part.of.a.series  length:01K-05K  c:marvel:JARVIS  c:marvel:tony.stark 
july 2012 by rainbowslinky
The Evaluation Process - sinemoras09
"This is the only way I can protect you," Tony says. "If people think you're human, they won't hunt you down. They won't tear apart your insides just to see how you work. Because trust me when I say this, they're too stupid to figure it out. They'd only break you."

Skynet. HAL 9000. VIKI. Iconic AIs, menacing and threatening toward human kind. JARVIS was bigger than all of them. His eyes swing back up to the monitor, and at the long, drawn lines of Tony's face.

""Just think of it as a way to get around," Tony says, quietly. "See the world on your own terms: my last gift to you." [Tony dies. JARVIS tries to cope.]
fandom:avengers  genre:gen  subject:character.death  pov:JARVIS  notes:depressing  notes:;_;  genre:au  subject:robots  subject:grief/mourning  rating:pg-13  site:ao3  authors:s  quality:*****  year:2012  genre:angst  length:01K-05K  c:marvel:bruce.banner  c:marvel:JARVIS  c:marvel:pepper.potts  c:marvel:tony.stark 
july 2012 by rainbowslinky
Life in E Minor - barelyjoyous
Clint doesn’t think about family or home or I love you when Phil’s family shows up at SHIELD’s medical facility. Fury tells them everything that he can, and assures them that any and all expenses will be paid for. Fury shakes their hands.
fandom:avengers  subject:character.death  genre:angst  notes:negative.ending  notes:depressing  site:ao3  quality:*****  rating:pg-13  tw:suicide  pov:clint.barton  pov:natasha.romanova  authors:b  length:01K-05K  p:marvel:clint/coulson 
july 2012 by rainbowslinky
Disclosures - gqgqqt -
Phil Coulson is miserable, distrusted by most of SHIELD, and still doesn't remember why.

It's only going to get worse before it gets better. [in which Phil doesn't remember important mission details, Clint secretly does; Clint has magical healing powers that are killing him; Loki possesses him and cuts off two of Phil's fingers; And basically SUPER ANGSTY TORTURE ETC ETC]
fandom:avengers  genre:angst  notes:depressing  notes:dark  pov:phil.coulson  subject:amnesia  setting:road.trip  subject:ptsd  length:50k+  authors:g  site:ao3  year:2012  quality:*****  notes:positive.ending  type:casefic  !favorites  tw:torture  c:marvel:loki  p:marvel:clint/coulson  tag:now.deleted 
july 2012 by rainbowslinky
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notes:dark  notes:depressing  notes:fantastic  notes:fascinating  notes:FEELS  notes:gorgeous  notes:heartbreaking  notes:heartsforeyes  notes:hnnnng  notes:intense  notes:introspective  notes:lovely  notes:mindthetags  notes:negative.ending  notes:not-a-fix-it  notes:ooc  notes:ouch  notes:positive.ending  notes:quality.descriptions  notes:quality.dialogue  notes:therapy  notes:unique  notes:unsettling  notes:warm.and.fuzzy  p:1d:harry/liam  p:1d:harry/louis  p:1d:harry/louis/liam  p:1d:harry/louis/niall  p:1d:harry/niall  p:1d:harry/nick  p:1d:harry/zayn  p:1d:liam/louis  p:1d:liam/zayn  p:1d:louis/niall  p:1d:louis/nick  p:1d:louis/zayn  p:1d:niall/bressie  p:marvel:bucky/steve  p:marvel:bucky/steve/tony  p:marvel:clint/coulson  p:marvel:clint/natasha  p:marvel:tony/bruce  p:marvel:tony/bucky  p:marvel:tony/loki  p:marvel:tony/pepper  p:marvel:tony/steve  p:st:chris/zach  p:st:kirk/mccoy  pairing:1D.OT5  pairing:brad/ray  pairing:brian/justin  pairing:dean/sam  pairing:enjolras/grantaire  pairing:finnick/johanna  pairing:gale/johanna  pairing:herc/chuck  pairing:jax/tara  pairing:katniss/finnick  pairing:katniss/gale  pairing:katniss/peeta  pairing:nathan/simon  pairing:newt/hermann  pairing:raleigh/chuck  pairing:raleigh/mako  pairing:raleigh/yancy  pairing:sherlock/john  pairing:tate/violet  pov:2nd  pov:bruce.banner  pov:bucky.barnes  pov:clint.barton  pov:JARVIS  pov:natasha.romanova  pov:phil.coulson  pov:steve.rogers  pov:tony.stark  quality:***  quality:****  quality:*****  rating:g  rating:nc-17  rating:pg  rating:pg-13  rating:r  season:five  season:four  season:one  season:two  setting:asgard  setting:beach  setting:civil.war  setting:college  setting:dark.reign  setting:dystopia  setting:hospital  setting:hotel  setting:nyc  setting:post-civil.war  setting:post-movie  setting:post-series  setting:pre-movie  setting:road.trip  setting:winter  setting:wwi  site:ao3  site:dw  site:ff.net  site:lj  site:other  site:tumblr  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