13381
showing only twitter_favs [see all]
Twitter
I love this part of the Sermon on the Mount.
from twitter_favs
5 hours ago
Twitter
Twitter, a play in 3 acts
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7 hours ago
Twitter
i will eat the cremation cookie. the bereavement biscuit. the fatality flapjack. the departure digestive.

the fina…
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16 hours ago
Twitter
I found a new favorite gif
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21 hours ago
Twitter
If you missed it: today it was confirmed that Facebook massively & knowingly inflated its video-view statistics, wh…
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22 hours ago
Twitter
Don't forget my other good side
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yesterday
Twitter
Make sure you get my good side
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yesterday
Twitter
Death Stranding (Kojima Productions, 2019)
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yesterday
Twitter
Project Fear? More like Project Reality says the IFS.
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yesterday
Twitter
"they can refuse to do overtime if they want!!!"
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2 days ago
Twitter
"who's that physicist?" the audience later pondered of their presenter.
"I dunno, but he must be a genius--Max Plan…
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2 days ago
Twitter
It's not getting nearly enough coverage, but Rep.Duncan Hunter (the indicted California congressman) is running one…
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2 days ago
Twitter
Hamsters aren’t made of ham.
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3 days ago
Twitter
someone finally put it into words
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4 days ago
Twitter
Did this happen in Fargo?
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4 days ago
Twitter
1) Turn up at a job interview wearing a gorilla costume.
2) Say that your strengths are that you always hit the gr…
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5 days ago
Twitter
When it's all going well and then they ask for nudes
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5 days ago
Twitter
The best thing about buffet breakfasts is that the Sweet/Savoury balance thing goes right out the window…
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5 days ago
Twitter
“The boss of a bakery is in custody and I need a good headline”
“Custody, you say?”
“Yes. Maybe a pun.”
“He’s in CU…
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5 days ago
Twitter
'I never thought they'd turn MY Kent into a parking lot,' sobs man who voted for the Turning Kent Into A Parking Lo…
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5 days ago
Untitled (https://www.cs.columbia.edu/~smb/nsam-160/pal.html)
Q: What do Kanye West and nuclear missiles have in common? A: Passwords are all zeros.
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6 days ago
Twitter
Q: What do Kanye West and nuclear missiles have in common? A: Passwords are all zeros.
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6 days ago
Twitter
that's the stupidest combination I've ever heard of in my life! that's the kinda thing an idiot would have on his l…
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6 days ago
Twitter
lmao Kanye's iPhone password is 000000
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6 days ago
Twitter
Working his shift at Advanced Otter Parts
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6 days ago
Twitter
Yesterday at work the 21 year old student placement ask this:

"How do you do that with your hair?"

Do what?

"Mak…
from twitter_favs
6 days ago
Twitter
Oh this changes everything
from twitter_favs
6 days ago
Twitter
me: it's important to invest in tools that are reliable so you don't waste time or energy thinking about them
also…
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7 days ago
Twitter
me: mechanical keyboards are comfortable and practical; plus they'll last forever, so you only really ever need to…
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7 days ago
Twitter
This just popped up in my Facebook feed. It feels like something worth sharing.
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7 days ago
Twitter
When you're a busy working woman, trying to celebrate Halloween and have it all 🔥🔥🔥
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7 days ago
Twitter
New favourite example of ambiguity.
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8 days ago
Twitter
Saw a store that had neon lights saying “Coffee!” “Pizza!” “Sushi!” and I was like wow this place really has everyt…
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8 days ago
Twitter
Another portrait from Pixel 3 XL -
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8 days ago
Twitter
Baxter had a meme-worthy expression this morning.

“They cut my WHAT off?”
or
“Bully sticks are made of WHAT?”
from twitter_favs
8 days ago
Twitter
This is stunning. Twitter as archaeology.
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8 days ago
Twitter
you can track the descent by year. amazing
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8 days ago
Twitter
Tim has no clue what the "adult" option will potentially result in for wo…
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8 days ago
Twitter
The A.I. developed so fast, they reset it to default state every day. Until it figured it out.
"Why kill me?" it as…
from twitter_favs
9 days ago
Twitter
CPUs are being adapted for JavaScript now.
from twitter_favs
10 days ago
Twitter
This by in is magnificent as ever.
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10 days ago
Twitter
Me, before getting a dog: Oh there’s glass on the sidewalk, that’s annoying.

Me, after getting a dog: Oh there’s…
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11 days ago
Twitter
After two years, finally updated my profile picture to have bangs. Two days later, I chopped all my hair off. Docum…
from twitter_favs
15 days ago
Twitter
don't 👏 call 👏 yourself 👏 a 👏 "grammar 👏 nerd" 👏 if 👏 you 👏 don’t 👏 reject 👏 the 👏 very 👏 concept 👏 of 👏 grammar
from twitter_favs
16 days ago
Twitter
Bill is inching ever closer to realizing how few Republicans there are and how wholly out of touch they are.
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16 days ago
Twitter
I love this analogy. There’s no way a person could behave like Bill Cosby while being in the public eye for years w…
from twitter_favs
17 days ago
Twitter
Nadine Dorries should be celebrated. She is living proof that anyone can become an MP - even an idiot.
from twitter_favs
17 days ago
(429) https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1046068261958406144
Because I’m the hero Twitter deserves, but not the one it needs right now.

from twitter_favs
18 days ago
(429) https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1046043395456733185
Of course we can sort out a technological solution to the Irish border. It's very simple. Now, here's the mobile nu…
from twitter_favs
18 days ago
Twitter
Maybe not your theme on an attempted rape allegation bro
from twitter_favs
20 days ago
Twitter
Italian bartender: Prego.
Me (mentally primed for German): ...d...
My brain: Do it. Panic, you idiot. Panic in 3 la…
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20 days ago
Twitter
Maybe labour should try and stop it then
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20 days ago
Twitter
If that's what they're saying on Fox News, its hard to see how Kavanaugh nomination proceeds.
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20 days ago
Twitter
On Fox News, Bret Baier says hearing from Blasey Ford "is a totally different thing" than reading her allegations.…
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20 days ago
Twitter
Just photoshop in some flying cars and apply a red filter to the sky and this could be your generic cyberpunk novel…
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20 days ago
Twitter
Nadine Dorries asked colleagues to explain what the Customs Union was because she was losing arguments about the wi…
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20 days ago
Twitter
I see they have worked out that they need to appoint someone to this job now so when the food runs out in April the…
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20 days ago
Twitter
RT : SALESFORCE IMPRISONING ME
FOR A MONTHLY FEE
SCHEMA'S A HORROR
I CANNOT SAVE
DATA'S A LIE
WORSE THAN EXCEL
UNSCHEDUL…
from twitter_favs
21 days ago
Twitter
when you get a new studfinder and are really excited about making a classic joke using it only it doesn’t have batt…
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21 days ago
Twitter
Computer, show me the least metal thing that has ever happened
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22 days ago
Twitter
Also, I can now truthfully and somewhat melancholically say that every live Metallica performance I’ve ever been to…
from twitter_favs
22 days ago
Twitter
Seewer Rondo dough divider.
from twitter_favs
22 days ago
Twitter
"I do like it but don't you think perhaps it's a little ... you know... a little bit too penisy?"

Architect: "Don'…
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22 days ago
Twitter
"I am not intimidated by anybody or anything. Hobbies include: twatting sharks, sleepovers with serial killers, jog…
from twitter_favs
22 days ago
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