14191
(429) https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1042184619808964610
Does anyone else frantically google the bottle of wine they found on the shelf before bringing it to a dinner to ma…
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14 hours ago
(429) https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1042164934350647296
May we all be inscribed in the Book of Life, and may the Book of Life earn out its advance and go into at least a f…
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15 hours ago
Twitter
this tweet is dedicated to the white woman who asked if i was in ‘Atlanta’ when I was leaving the theater!!!
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yesterday
Twitter
Twitter is bringing back the chronological feed!
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yesterday
Twitter
I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they w…
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yesterday
Twitter
i’ve been quiet on here for a bit because a lot of things are happening and i have a lot of BIG NEWS AND I DONT KNO…
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2 days ago
Twitter
I bet I won’t retweet my drop tho 😔 sorry team, and sorry I’ll make it up to you....Miami thooo 👀👀👀👀👀…
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2 days ago
Twitter
This is quietly a major milestone in tech culture. Linus Torvalds, the leader behind Linux, git, and much of open s…
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2 days ago
Twitter
Bills: So here’s what we need to do in the second half ...

Vontae Davis:
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2 days ago
Twitter
Any fan of Al Green should check out his new track (first in 10 years!), which dutifully recreates his classic Hi R…
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2 days ago
Twitter
The desperate dream for a lost material world continues.
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2 days ago
Twitter
The Picture of Dorian Whey. A Manchego of No Importance.

I sometimes wish would suspend me.
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2 days ago
Twitter
For the first time since we moved here we had plans w friends both days this weekend. If you’ve ever moved to a new…
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2 days ago
Twitter
Roo has to interview me about what it was like when I went to school for some homework, highly tempting to say “I d…
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2 days ago
Twitter
Watching Angel Heart with closed captioning. When Lillian Boutte sings “you got the right key, but you’re working o…
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2 days ago
Twitter
shrimp po’ boy had me like...
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3 days ago
Twitter
Two top-10 wins in three weeks... What else y’all want from us?
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3 days ago
Twitter
XOXO continues to be the most difficult and most rewarding thing I’ve ever worked on, largely because of what every…
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3 days ago
Twitter
This year was hard in unforeseen, unimaginable ways, but I met so many people I’ve admired from afar for years, art…
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3 days ago
Twitter
There were so many unreal moments, I don’t really know how to process it. There were huge stretches of XOXO that fe…
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3 days ago
Twitter
I don’t know if it’s because XOXO was double the size or I’m two years older, or some combination of the two, but t…
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3 days ago
Twitter
Reznor kicked off the new tour by playing all of Broken 😳 May need to find some tickets when they make their way ou…
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3 days ago
Twitter
Our great country is divided. But the Red Sox and Mets fans at Fenway Park just joined together to chant "Yankees s…
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3 days ago
Twitter
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod a…
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3 days ago
Twitter
When I was a kid I somehow acquired the knowledge that cephalopods were the true dominant species of the planet and…
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3 days ago
Twitter
Murray St's mascot.

In 2018.

For real.
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3 days ago
Twitter
The Ghastly Dreadfuls are throwing a Halloween party, and you're invited! Join us 10/6 for the Ghastly Ghathering,…
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3 days ago
Twitter
This is our fifth year at ! ❤️ journalists. We’re so happy to be here. 🙌
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3 days ago
Twitter
When I got my first pair of eyeglasses, when they handed me a little spray bottle and a cleaning cloth I was so thr…
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3 days ago
Twitter
Once again I am thinking about the detention I got in high school for writing an essay about A Separate Peace title…
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3 days ago
Twitter
Congo Square in New Orleans is the birthplace of jazz. Captured Africans in the slave trade, free to play music on…
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3 days ago
Twitter
She was just clearing with me that we’re both heathens
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3 days ago
Twitter
We were scheduling sessions for next week and my therapist said, “just want to point out Wednesday is Yom Kippur.”…
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3 days ago
Twitter
Whatever WH staffer is mostly keeping Trump away from his iPhone this weekend is performing heroic work. Probably g…
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3 days ago
Twitter
GET EQUIPPED
WITH
WEEK LOSS
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4 days ago
Twitter
need to beat Denver on Sunday...
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4 days ago
Twitter
When the design team loses the argument with the Department of Redundancy Department.

Or maybe people who work the…
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5 days ago
Twitter
Check out these .1 superstars. Talking about the public radio biz. It's good stuff. 🙌
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5 days ago
Twitter
When I’m told to go somewhere for blueberry pancakes I just do it. I don’t ask questions.
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5 days ago
Twitter
I always dreamed when I joined the screen actors Guild it would be exactly like this, at an office depot in Barbour…
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5 days ago
Twitter
Holy swag! Mugs, moleskines, flash tats, pens, stickers, buttons! Come on by the on level 3 and learn…
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5 days ago
Twitter
Finally, we’ll be able to rightfully attribute the etymology of “krunk” to Conan’s show. (And for real: people were…
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5 days ago
Twitter
Video: Take a tour of the custom blocks powering 's new platform, built by for…
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5 days ago
Twitter
Take a sneak peek at our latest WordPress-based platform project for Amnesty International, which has been built wi…
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5 days ago
Twitter
MY 👏 TWO 👏 FAVES 👏
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5 days ago
Twitter
good morning to all the birds and tweeters and perhaps even people who tweet on bird twitter 🐦🐳
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5 days ago
Twitter
Good Morning Family.
Need some encouragement today? I gotchu. Lemme know what's up.
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5 days ago
Twitter
My childhood dog Rocket’s health is failing. He’s very old and had a good life but it’s still hard for me. Any book…
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6 days ago
Twitter
Trent Sieg is on a group chat with current and want-to-be NFL long snappers. Was watching Monday's game wh…
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6 days ago
Twitter
Apple events are insane because people clap when an old white man with a microphone says "our stores served 500 mil…
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6 days ago
Twitter
09/11/2018.

Yesterday’s steroid shot kicked in around 4:00 and wheeee! Is this how regular people breathe? Finally…
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7 days ago
Twitter
09/08/2018.

Yay weekend! Woke up grateful for a weekend of rest to kick this bug except I forgot about…
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7 days ago
Twitter
Hot dogs or legs or tower memorials?
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7 days ago
Twitter
I just want to say thank you to everyone who had a self reflection moment reading this. People always say you can’t…
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8 days ago
Twitter
guy i was sitting next to at the childish gambino concert took out his phone in the middle of the set and i swear t…
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8 days ago
Twitter
I wonder if anyone else on my flight to White Plains is happy it’s a white plane. It’s the aviation equivalent of s…
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8 days ago
Twitter
How to summarize in 19 seconds: ()
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8 days ago
Twitter
as a kid you ever wonder why your parents were so angry all the time and then when you got older you realize, oh wa…
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8 days ago
Twitter
My first was amazing! I’m heading home feeling so inspired and brain-asploded and in love with everyone I…
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8 days ago
Twitter
Gruden gave his realest answer in the MNF interview with Lisa Salters. Khalil didn’t talk to him and he didn’t thin…
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8 days ago
Twitter
This is totally true if you exclude 1948Q1,1948Q2,1950Q1,1950Q2,1950Q3,1950Q4,1951Q1,1951Q2,1951Q3,1952Q1,1952Q4,19…
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9 days ago
Twitter
Yes he is, 2014 Mitchell Trubisky. Yes he is.
from twitter_favs
9 days ago
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