dandv + say + no   3

You Don't Owe Anyone An Interaction | The Huffington Post
Will some people have hurt feelings if you decline their invitations and delete their messages? Probably. That’s tough to accept, but the alternative is worse. Trying to manage other people’s emotions while tuning out your own is exhausting. It harms your health and your relationships.

We’ve been conditioned to believe that being kind means being available 24/7. But if we don’t guard our time, our ability to be kind erodes.

So the next time you feel pressured to respond, try taking pause and reminding yourself that you don’t owe anyone an interaction.

And here’s the real beauty of it: when you don’t owe anyone an interaction ... you’re free to give from the heart.
say  no  refuse  interaction 
march 2017 by dandv
Why I Stopped Helping People and You Should Too – The Unlearner – Medium
1. Don't help people who don't value your time.

"Start-up founders often ask to pick my brain. I realize how difficult it is to run a start-up, I run one myself. However, I have stopped offering my knowledge for free. They don’t realize that in order to make time for coffee, I would have to compensate for that lost time and stay up until 2 in the morning just to work.
If they don’t think my time is worth any value, then I don’t have time for them!

Now I simply tell people my hourly rate and take out my Square. Yes, it’s harsh, but it makes my life easier and I am happier for it. People take me more seriously. If someone cannot afford my advice, I usually give them another way to compensate for it."

2.
Don't help people who don't appreciate your help.

The easiest way to turn your friend into an enemy is offering them advice they don’t want to hear.

3. Stop Helping People If You Can’t Put 100% Into It

"A few years ago, my parents were out of the country and asked me to look after their house. I don’t know how to water the plants at all. Some of them I poured too much water and some I gave very little. A month later when my parents came back, all the plants had died. If I didn’t offer to help, someone who knows how to take care of plants would have done it, and my father’s precious plants would be alive today.

Offering help when you can’t do a good job will do more harm than good. It’s like being blind and teaching someone else how to paint. You make people miss the opportunities to find better help."
against  helping  people  say  no 
december 2016 by dandv

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