asterisk2a + relationships   85

Partnerwahl: Menschen sind Wiederholungstäter - SPIEGEL ONLINE
Die Partnerwahl ist berechenbarer als viele glauben, zeigt eine neue Studie mit Daten aus Deutschland. Demnach ähneln neue Partner oft stark dem Ex - nur sehr neugierige Menschen fallen aus dem Muster.
relationships  Psychology 
june 2019 by asterisk2a
Conservatives should blame capitalism for the 'war on Christmas' | Steven W Thrasher | Opinion | The Guardian
consumption as with dieting, is not consistent. [...] The first battles of this war on Christmas are usually fought right after (and increasingly on) Thanksgiving Day, as Black Friday shoppers are whipped into a frenzy of buying garbage products we don’t need, built in ways that maim and kill the people who make them and produced by means that slowly kill us all.
capitalism  Christmas  status  symbol  status  anxiety  zombie  consumer  consumerism  consumerist  household  debt  debt  servitude  consumer  debt  credit  card  debt  credit  card  crony  capitalism  advertisement  advertising  marketing  Selbstdarstellung  Social  Media  Selbstfürsorge  psychology  addiction  substance  abuse  Helloween  Valentines  dieting  Mindfulness  sociology  mass  culture  socioeconomic  status  status  rat  race  Religion  relationship  Intimate  relationship  relationships  sweatshop 
december 2015 by asterisk2a
Dating while mentally ill: When to tell the guy about my condition?
On one hand, I am the most self-confident I have ever been. On the other hand, the tangle of depression, anxiety, OCD, and borderline personality disorder in my head came fairly close to talking me into a swan dive off of a fifth-floor Paris balcony last week. (If you’ve never suffered from depression, it might sound nonsensical that I would do this at my most self-confident. If there’s one thing I know about depression, though, it’s that it’s devoid of logic, and you can feel your lowest and your highest all at once.)
mental  illness  mental  health  stigma  relationship  relationships  Intimate  relationship  partnerships  partners  partner  love  public  awareness  public  perception  public  opinion  public  discourse 
february 2015 by asterisk2a
Planet Wissen │Die Liebe - YouTube
erwartungen, und sozialer stellenwert von liebe, und heirat, steigende Scheidungsrate, ... und secularism hat Religion mit Liebe ersetzt. --- & youtube.com/watch?v=McARZVdODmY & youtube.com/watch?v=hCoyhEqyTrE
Intimate  relationship  relationship  relationships  Beziehung  book  Richard  David  Precht  love  secularism 
november 2014 by asterisk2a
Elon Musk: How I'm Guaranteeing Tesla Model S Car - YouTube
- worth of purchase - a little Poker. Knowing that he got the better hand. a much better hand. he did his math. great move. bold move. vision. inspirational. leadership. ... end of interview 7 minute in talking about Nissan Leaf ... "we will never do a product that we don't 100% believe in." +++ UK Launch - http://youtu.be/K-uLAFb7GOg // talking about California and UK public transportation +++ // Justine Musk abt their pre-nups, mediation, divorce and other private accounts - http://jezebel.com/5637920/the-special-hell-of-being-a-starter-wife - http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/relationship-issues/millionaire-starter-wife ". I didn't want to be a sideline player in the multimillion-dollar spectacle of my husband's life. I wanted equality. I wanted partnership. I wanted to love and be loved, the way we had before he made all his millions." + http://jalopnik.com/5877243/elon-musk-unplugs-second-marriage-to-talulah-riley - "I think the foundation of love is virtue,"
Elon  Musk  Tesla  Model  S  Tesla  Motors  brand  brands  branding  Personal  communication  language  public  relations  PR  consumer  product  Consumerism  consumerist  consumer  product  management  Product/Market  Fit  multi-product  company  Wall  Street  Nissan  Leaf  Principle  Vision  leadership  aspirational  product  Design  product  experience  user  experience  customer  experience  experience  frictionless  friction  transportation  public  transportation  trophy  wife  Justine  Musk  partnerships  relationship  relationships  Intimate  relationship  postnup  prenup 
july 2014 by asterisk2a
Mating in Captivity: Reconciling Intimacy and Sexuality - YouTube
needs and desires. human needs. erotic and domestic in the same place - fundamental contradiction. need of safety, desire for freedom ...
sexuality  sexualität  couples  Intimate  relationship  intimacy  relationship  psychology  eroticism  Porn  erotic  partnerships  marriage  western  lifestyle  human  needs  western  society  lust  relationships  relationship  advice  desire  mating  evolution  family  life 
february 2014 by asterisk2a
I only hope Michael Schumacher pulls through so that he can see all the nice things people are saying about him - Telegraph
For years Michael was the perfect pantomime villain, particularly in this country; German, of course, ruthlessly efficient, ultra-aggressive. Whereas previous greats such as Sir Jackie Stewart or Juan Manuel Fangio left the door open to their rivals when racing, for fear of making what could easily have been fatal contact, Michael went all out in his pursuit of victory. Sometimes he overstepped the mark – Jerez in 1997 and Rascasse in 2006 spring to mind – and those indiscretions made him unpalatable to the sporting purist. He was marked down by some, including me, as a tainted champion. But you cannot argue with his achievements. [...] [Sebastian Vettel is the same type of athlete. going always for the gap.] [...] He had complete and utter self-belief. It was what made him a champion. [without arrogance] [confidence and trust in ones abilities]
Michael  Schumacher  Sebastian  Vettel  elite  sports  elite  athlete  psychology  sport  psychology  self-belief  self-improvement  confidence  lifehacks  lifehacker  Mensch  relationships 
january 2014 by asterisk2a
▶ Natur-VLog #11: Grasgeflüster über Neider & Hater - YouTube
Vlog #25: Das Glück in sich selbst finden = v=tnAoGBI8_O8 "das Glueck finded man nur in sich selbst. [...] Wenn man selbst sich nicht liebt ...." + v=QaHVQxrp_kE + v=5WA14FiqzaM + VLog #41: Dem Leben vertrauen - v=kgex989OgyU + VLog #39: Leben ist Veränderung - v=INMFbd4qd5k + VLog #36: Man kann es nicht jedem recht machen - v=AltCpDYAhfg
Hater  haters  lifehacks  lifehacker  envy  jealousy  Consumerism  consumerist  zombie  consumer  advertising  partnerships  partner  partners  psychology  Meditation  Yoga  Zen  relationship  relationships  marriage  Spiritual  spirituality  western  lifestyle  western  society  work  life  balance 
december 2013 by asterisk2a
Science Study: On Marriage, Listen To That Little Voice In Your Head | CommonHealth
If you’re thinking about getting married, you might want to listen to that little voice in the back of your head. A new study in the journal Science of more than 100 newlyweds found that a couple’s “gut” feelings about each other — feelings they couldn’t or wouldn’t verbalize — were good predictors of how happy their marriage would be four years later — better predictors than their conscious feelings. The title: “Though They May Be Unaware, Newlyweds Implicitly Know Whether Their Marriage Will Be Satisfying.” Of course, we all have gut feelings about our partners — and they tend to be positive or we wouldn’t be partners. But this study looked at something very specific: attitudes that are at such a deep level that we may not be aware of them, but they turn up on a kind of test that experimental psychologists have been using for years, that measures reaction times down to the millisecond.
psychology  marriage  relationship  relationships  partners  partnerships  lifehacks  lifehacker 
november 2013 by asterisk2a
▶ Eat Your Kimchi Full Interview Part 1 - YouTube
+ part2 - /watch?v=hLwkRrV4XIg (later part talking about differences [audience, niche, taste] between social networks, tumblr, twitter, facebook) + Our Love Story - /watch?v=1EeZIU_zZzo + TL;DR - How Simon Proposed to Martina - /watch?v=jnpIpdFfk2k + Draw My Life - Simon's Story - /watch?v=1EPO1Zblq3o
relationship  relationships  partnerships  partners  partner  communication  adaulthood  dating  friend  zone  marriage  lifelessons  lifelesson  lifehacks  lifehacker  Social  Media  socialnetwork  socialnetworks  YouTube  Eat  Your  Kimchi  South  Korea 
november 2013 by asterisk2a
Limbic Revision: How Love Rewires the Brain | Brain Pickings
In a relationship, one mind revises the other; one heart changes its partner. This astounding legacy of our combined status as mammals and neural beings is limbic revision: the power to remodel the emotional parts of the people we love, as our Attractors [coteries of ingrained information patterns] activate certain limbic pathways, and the brain’s inexorable memory mechanism reinforces them. Who we are and who we become depends, in part, on whom we love. [...] Real, honest, complete love requires letting go.
relationship  lifelessons  partnerships  environment  partners  book  social  science  lifelesson  relationships  social  study  personality  changes 
october 2013 by asterisk2a
▶ Autorin Jutta Martha Beiner | NDR Talk Show | NDR - YouTube
Eine Beziehung muss gelebt werden. Inspirirend. Motiviert. Erfreut. ... Wenn eine Beziehung nicht mehr gelebt wird, "Sofa Modus" eintritt. Angst for Veraenderung - die Beziehung zu beenden. Angst vor dem neuen Eigenstaendigem Leben. Wenn kein Liebe und die Freude mehr in der Beziehung ist. Ende mit Schuldzuweisungen. Gute, gemeinsame emotionale kapital aufgebraucht =
relationship  partnerships  separation  book  divorce  relationships  break-up 
september 2013 by asterisk2a
How Relationships Refine Our Truths: Adrienne Rich on the Dignity of Love | Brain Pickings
"An honorable human relationship — that is, one in which two people have the right to use the word 'love' — is a process, delicate, violent, often terrifying to both persons involved, a process of refining the truths they can tell each other." How relationships refine our truths – Adrienne Rich on the dignity of love
love  relationship  partnerships  partners  relationships 
august 2013 by asterisk2a
"Masculinity in crisis" cannot justify killing your family
“some men are unable to come to terms with different and developing notions of the institution of the family, where women increasingly play a much more dynamic role than they had in the past”. I don’t suspect Wilson of ulterior motives in saying this, nor do I feel he is making excuses for the 59 men studied by his team. All the same, I find the reporting of his conclusions shocking, particularly in the direct use of the “masculinity in crisis” phrase.
Society  Power  Play  social  science  gender  inequality  social  study  misogyny  sexism  sexismus  psychology  Machtspiele  masculinity  Misogynie  Machtgehabe  feminism  family  annihilation  bias  relationships  inequality 
august 2013 by asterisk2a
Lesenswert. www.psychologie-heute.de
Onlineflirts, die sich zur Paarbeziehung entwickeln, durchlaufen in der Regel eine systematische Abfolge von Medien: Auf die Begegnung im öffentlichen Chat oder Forum folgen private Chats und E-Mails, dann Fotoaustausch, Telefonate, Handymitteilungen und schließlich das persönliche Treffen. Jeder Medienwechsel ist dabei ein Wendepunkt: Gibt der andere seine Telefonnummer preis? Hat man sich auch am Telefon etwas zu sagen? Gefallen die Stimme und das Lachen des Gegenübers? Ein verweigerter oder misslungener Medienwechsel gefährdet oder beendet meist die Beziehung, ein gelungener festigt sie.
relationship  dating  relationships  online  dating 
june 2013 by asterisk2a
BBC News - How to get along for 500 days alone together
[W]e can say that there are some guidelines for living in harmony in a confined space, and all of them fall into the category I call "simple, but not necessarily easy". One has to be able to give the other person mental elbow room. During our winter, when a person settled into the sofa in the salon with a book and started reading, he or she was not interrupted. The second important rule, is that showing care benefits both. We believe this to the point that it is built into our daily routine - we alternate cooking days. Each day's food becomes a present to our partner. We try to surprise the other with new dishes. There's a prize to be won - the other person's admiration. People sometimes joke that long-distance sailors must have a high boredom threshold, but my response is that one can only be as bored as one is boring.
relationship  lifehacker  partnerships  lifehacks  lifelesson  marriage  relationships 
march 2013 by asterisk2a
Christian Wulff sucht seine neue Rolle nach Trennung von Bettina Wulff - SPIEGEL ONLINE
Ehe-Aus per Exklusivbericht

Die Trennung der Wulffs wirkt von außen gesehen wie ein logischer Schlusspunkt, der sich schon länger angekündigt hatte. Bettina Wulff selbst distanzierte sich in ihrem Buch "Jenseits des Protokolls", das im September vergangenen Jahres herauskam, von ihrem Ehemann, beklagte die starke Belastung durch Öffentlichkeit und Amt - und plauderte intime Details aus.
Es waren Sätze, die kein Ehemann dieser Welt gerne über sich liest. Schon auf der ersten Seite des Kapitels "Männer" steht folgende Passage: "Was findet eine Frau an diesem Mann? Irgendwie fehlen da ein paar Ecken und Kanten, etwas Besonderes und Eigenes."
personality  marriage  relationships  relationship 
january 2013 by asterisk2a
Ein wunderbarer Liebesroman | Kulturjournal | NDR - YouTube
German

- being understood is something great. everyone strives for to be understood.
Martin  Walsers  life  relationships  love  lifelesson  book  novel 
october 2012 by asterisk2a
Autoren Amelie Fried und Peter Probst | NDR Talkshow - YouTube
"Verliebt, verlobt - verrückt. Warum alles gegen die Ehe spricht und noch mehr dafür" - Das wollen Amelie Fried und Gatte, Peter Probst, allen Zweiflern in ihrem neuen Buch erklären.
lifehacks  lifelesson  life  marriage  relationship  relationships 
october 2012 by asterisk2a
The myth of Psyche — Paulo Coelho's Blog
love is an act of faith in another person, and her face shall stay covered in mystery.

Each moment shall be lived and enjoyed, but whenever we try to understand it, the magic disappears.

[...]

trust in Love, even running the risk of erring.

[...]

who sought to find safety in knowledge, found insecurity.

Those who don’t accept it and always seek an explanation for the magic and mysterious, human relations will lose the best of what life has to offer.
PauloCoelho  marriage  love  relationship  relationships  lifelessons  life 
august 2012 by asterisk2a
BBC iPlayer - Woman's Hour: Infidelity phone-in
Phone-in on infidelity. We want to hear your experiences of infidelity. How important is being faithful and what constitutes cheating anyway?. Is it sex, is it a kiss, or is it a series of soul-baring conversations? And does it have to mean the end of your relationship - or, can it make you both stronger? If you've experienced infidelity, been unfaithful yourself, or just helped your friends through it - we want to hear from you. Presented by Jane Garvey.

(1) emotional affairs are as damaging to a marriage or relationship as any sexual affair.
(2) Book: The New Rules of Marriage by Catherine Hakim
(3) trust is whole different ball game than love. if trust went out of the window, so does the relationship. very hard to mend that problem.
Infidelity  book  relationships  marriage 
august 2012 by asterisk2a
Bagehot: Generation Xhausted | The Economist
Begin with the early 20s, which across the recessionary West, but perhaps especially in Britain, with its high housing costs, are grimmer than in the past: 20-somethings are often indebted, jobless and stuck in an involuntarily protracted adolescence. The Office for National Statistics reckons that nearly 3m people between 20 and 34 were living with their parents last year, almost half a million more than in 1997.

The “sandwich generation”—caught between adolescent children and senescent parents—used to be in their mid-40s. Now the oldies are living and staying healthy for longer, and so requiring care later. Carers UK, a charity, calculates that the number of pensioners who are themselves carers (of either partners or their own ancient parents) is rising fast. Thus 55—an age when, in the past, people were liberated from immediate family obligations to rediscover fun—may soon be the new 45. The sandwich generation is getting stale.

And parents in late 30s; late family + career.
demography  demographics  relationships  well-being  happieness  generational  change  GFC  greatrecession  lostgeneration  lostdecade  babyboomers  generations  change  society  culture 
august 2012 by asterisk2a
The secret to a happy marriage: Don't forgive and forget, and have a row instead, say researchers | Mail Online
‘short-term discomfort of an angry but honest conversation’ can benefit the health of a relationship in the long term.

forgiveness in marriage can have some unintended negative effects.

we must decide whether we should be angry and hold onto that anger, or forgive.'
His research found a variety of factors can complicate the effectiveness of forgiveness, including a partner's level of agreeableness and the severity and frequency of the transgression.
'Believing a partner is forgiving leads agreeable people to be less likely to offend that partner and disagreeable people to be more likely to offend that partner,'

anger can serve an important role in signaling to a transgressing partner that the offensive behavior is not acceptable.
sociology  psychology  marriage  partners  relationships  relationship 
august 2012 by asterisk2a
More than half of all British married couples regret their marriage | Mail Online
Most change their minds after one or two years of married life
Chief reason for regret is a loss of independence
marriage  relationships  relationship 
july 2012 by asterisk2a
BBC News - A Point of View: Embarrassing parents and the teenage truth
All parents are destined to be ridiculous, embarrassing or annoying, warns Adam Gopnik.

*
My Take:
As kids grow up into puberty, in to adulthood, they change. On the way the parent some way change too as a parent and a person. There is no constant. Thus the relationship changes. The dynamic, the aspect of parenting. The parent has to be aware of that; instead of treating the 16 year old like a youngster of 9. Treat your child like a respectable growing young adult (with screaming hormone levels) with rights and responsibilities, with freedom and rules.
psychology  relationships  relationship  children  childhood  parenting 
july 2012 by asterisk2a
Marriage and the Art of Game Theory - The Daily Beast
To cooperate or not to cooperate? To budge or stand your ground? To say “OK, fine” or “not a chance”? These are questions married people find themselves asking with surprising frequency. Ideally, the answer is always cooperate, budge, and say OK. But in practice, when there’s baggage involved and a history together and scars from past relationships, getting to that point takes effort.

In a survey of married people my co-author and I conducted for our book, It’s Not You, It’s the Dishes, we posed the open-ended question, “What’s the hardest part about being married?” Sure enough, most of the answers related to cooperating, or, more specifically, to not wanting to cooperate ...

[I]f game theory teaches us anything, it’s that relationships aren’t about having it all, they’re about having all you can under the circumstances.
book  marriage  relationships  relationship  game  theory  economics 
june 2012 by asterisk2a
Money can't make you happy... if you are only spending it to impress others | Mail Online
Spending money on once in a lifetime experiences from luxury holidays to concert tickets won't make you happy, according to a surprise study.
But before you cancel that world cruise it's worth noting that you'll only fail to find contentment if your motive is to impress others.
'Why you buy is just as important as what you buy,' said assistant profressor Ryan Howell, from San Francisco State University, who led the study.
'When people buy life experiences to impress others, it wipes out the well-being they receive from the purchase. That extrinsic motivation appears to undermine how the experiential purchase meets their key psychological needs.'
lifestyle  lifehacker  lifelessons  relationships  psychology  money  relationship  consumption  wealth  management  wealth 
june 2012 by asterisk2a
The Economic Case for Same-Sex Marriage - Bloomberg
Economics of marriage and its changes through the centuries.

"Gary Becker, an economist at the University of Chicago, won the Nobel Prize partly for describing the family as an economic institution -- a bit like a small firm that employs people with different skills to produce both income and a well-run household.

[...]

Economists describe a “second Industrial Revolution” in which washing machines, dishwashers and microwave ovens have reduced the value to the family “firm” of employing a domestic specialist. Cheap clothes can be imported from China, rather than sewn at home. Healthy meals can be purchased from the freezer at Trader Joe’s.

As a result, our grandparents’ marriages, in which husband and wife have separate roles and spheres, are no longer so popular. Two-earner couples have become the norm, and families spend less time on housework.

... !!! marriage has evolved !!! and bc of the emergence of hedonic marriages - divorce rates are up.
change  divorce  rate  hedonic  marriage  academia  economic  history  economics  marriage  relationship  relationships  economic-thought  same-sex  marriage  gay  marriage 
may 2012 by asterisk2a
BBC News - Phone data shows romance 'driven by women'
"It's the first really strong evidence that romantic relationships are driven by women," he told BBC News.

"It's they who make the decision and once they have made their mind up, they just go for the poor bloke until he keels over and gives in!"

The researchers say that a woman's social world is intensely focussed on one individual and will shift as a result of reproductive interests from being the mate to children and grandchildren.

They found that men tend to choose a woman the same age as themselves - which the researchers presumed to be their girlfriend or wife - as a best friend much later in life than women do, and for a much shorter time. This occurs when they are in their early-30s, possibly during courtship, and stops after seven years or so.

Women, however, choose a man of a similar age to be their best friend from the age of 20. He remains for about 15 years, after which time he's replaced by a daughter.
relationship  romance  relationships  anthropology  sociology  Behavior  gender  gender  asymmetry 
april 2012 by asterisk2a
The Downside of Cohabiting Before Marriage - NYTimes.com
Couples who cohabit before marriage (and especially before an engagement or an otherwise clear commitment) tend to be less satisfied with their marriages — and more likely to divorce — than couples who do not. These negative outcomes are called the cohabitation effect.

The majority of young adults in their 20s will live with a romantic partner at least once, and more than half of all marriages will be preceded by cohabitation. This shift has been attributed to the sexual revolution and the availability of birth control, and in our current economy, sharing the bills makes cohabiting appealing. But when you talk to people in their 20s, you also hear about something else: cohabitation as prophylaxis.

ie You would only marry someone if he or she agreed to live together with you first, so that you could find out whether you really get along.

But that belief is contradicted by experience.
The "gradual slope" of relationships makes the couple bypass talking about why & what is happening
love  convenience  lifelessons  change  Behavior  behavioral  economics  culture  psychology  gender  asymmetry  single  gender  study  advice  relationship  marriage  relationships 
april 2012 by asterisk2a
Facebook and Instagram: When Your Favorite App Sells Out -- Daily Intel
... This is, after all, the way of our new product-based civilization — in order to participate as a citizen of the social web, you must yourself manufacture content. Progress requires that forms must be filled. Thus it is a critical choice of any adult as to where they will perform their free labor. Tens of millions of people made a decision to spend their time with the simple, mobile photo-sharing application that was not Facebook because they liked its subtle interface and little filters. And so Facebook bought the thing that is hardest to fake. It bought sincerity.
relationship  relationships  internet  content  socialmedia  twitter  sincerity  instagram  facebook 
april 2012 by asterisk2a
Why women seek men like their fathers and couples are less happy after marriage: New book explains science behind common relationship themes | Mail Online
'Dissatisfaction occurs because you know that person and there’s no novelty. Relationships become boring,'

_Can_ become boring.
novelty  relationships  relationship 
april 2012 by asterisk2a
Birth Control Pills Have Lasting Effects on Relationships: Scientific American
hormonal birth control pill does affect your taste of men.

This relationship stability might be caused by the bias of women on the pill toward low-testosterone men, who tend to be more faithful. Roberts suggests that women who met their mate while taking the pill might want to switch to nonhormonal contraceptives several months before getting married to test whether their feelings for their partner remain the same.
sexual  health  marriage  relationships  relationship  genetics  evolution  hormones  contraception  birth  control 
march 2012 by asterisk2a
Authors@Google: Dr. Ruth, "Sexually Speaking" - YouTube
Dr. Ruth Westheimer is an American sex therapist, media personality, and author. Best known as Dr. Ruth, the New York Times described her as a "Sorbonne-trained psychologist who became a kind of cultural icon in the 1980s. She ushered in the new age of freer, franker talk about sex on radio and television—and was endlessly parodied for her limitless enthusiasm and for having an accent only a psychologist could have."
relationship  parenting  relationships  Dr.  Ruth  Westheimer  book  sex  therapist 
march 2012 by asterisk2a
What Falling in Love Does to the Brain - Yahoo! News
"Intense passionate love uses the same system in the brain that gets activated when a person is addicted to drugs," said study co-author Arthur Aron, a psychologist at the State University of New York at Stony Brook.
In other words, you start to crave the person you're in love with like a drug.

The researchers found that in each of these long-term lovers, brain regions were also activated when they looked at photos of their partners. Long-term love showed activity in the regions linked with attachment and liking a reward.
"For most people, the standard pattern is a gradual decline of passionate love, but a growth in bonding," Aron said.
relationships  research  brain  love  addiction 
february 2012 by asterisk2a
Love You! Now, the Difficult Stuff - NYTimes.com
“Remember that ‘make believe’ and ‘happily ever after’ are Hollywood concepts, and there is absolutely nothing magical about a divorce.”

So, what issues should couples, both gay or straight, discuss before walking down the aisle?

“Companies have a mission statement so customers can see what the values of the company are, and so its purpose is clearly communicated,” said Nancy B. Irwin, a psychotherapist in Los Angeles. Those about to marry should, too, she said.

“A couple’s relationship values have to be aligned for it to go the distance.” She suggested, however, that couples avoid making an agreement too businesslike, and opt instead for the scented candle approach of writing what she called a “relationship vision statement.”

“Most people only think of the best moments — the fairy tale where every family member is totally healthy,”
advice  sociology  prenuptial  agreement  relationships  love  marriage 
february 2012 by asterisk2a
Sex and love: The modern matchmakers | The Economist
the data suggest people are not good at knowing what they want. One of Dr Finkel’s own studies, for example, showed that when they are engaged in internet dating’s cousin, speed dating, people’s stated preferences at the beginning of the process do not well match the characters of the individuals they actually like.

Not surprisingly, the difficulty of choosing from abundance seems to apply to choice of people, too.

But speed-dating once again provided an answer. Here, he found studies which showed that when faced with abundant choice, people pay less attention to characteristics that require thinking and conversation to evaluate (occupational status and level of education, for example) and more to matters physical. Choice, in other words, dulls the critical faculties.
internet  dating  dating  choice  psychology  love  sociology  marriage  relationships 
february 2012 by asterisk2a
Marriage is overrated, say experts, as study reveals health and happiness benefits for wedded couples are a MYTH | Mail Online
'We found that differences between marriage and cohabitation tend to be small and dissipate after a honeymoon period.
'Also, while married couples experienced health gains - likely linked to the formal benefits of marriage such as shared healthcare plans - cohabiting couples experienced greater gains in happiness and self-esteem.

Dr Kelly Musick: 'Marriage has long been an important social institution - but differences between marriage and cohabitation are small and dissipate after a honeymoon period'
'For some, cohabitation may come with fewer unwanted obligations than marriage and allow for more flexibility, autonomy, and personal growth.'
relationships  relationship  advice  life  marriage 
january 2012 by asterisk2a
Stay Or Leave? Book says you can work out whether he's Mr Right, or just Mr Right Now | Mail Online
Step 1: Start being yourself, not the person everyone else wants you to be
Step 2: Don’t worry what others think
Step 3: Resolve your split personality
Step 4: You’re not as trapped as you think you are
Step 5: Live by your own values
Step 6: Consider what you’d do if you knew you had only six months to live
lifelessons  lifehacker  lifehacks  life-style  life  love  advice  relationships  relationship 
january 2012 by asterisk2a
Celebrity Weddings: 12 Young Stars Who Tied The Knot
"... You change so much. I've learned it's important to spend time in a relationship with yourself and not being defined by your partner."

"It's all about love and I make that my number one priority."
marriage  relationships 
january 2012 by asterisk2a
Men Seek Gender-Specific Bereavement Groups - NYTimes.com
“While women grieve intuitively, open to expressing their feelings, men are ‘instrumental’ grievers. They’re not comfortable with talking about their feelings, and they prefer to do things to cope.”
In a men’s group she has run for the last few years, she said, “I never ask, ‘How do you feel?’ Rather, I ask, ‘What did you do?’ ”
grief  death  relationships 
july 2011 by asterisk2a
YouTube - Gay Talese: Making Marriage Work by Forgetting Love and Sex
The key to a lasting relationship, says Gay Talese, is looking past the 'mating game's' wonted rituals and flowery ambiguities and learning to emphasize mutual freedom and respect.
marriage  relationships  advice 
june 2011 by asterisk2a
Technology Provides an Alternative to Love. - NYTimes.com
Let me toss out the idea that, as our markets discover and respond to what consumers most want, our technology has become extremely adept at creating products that correspond to our fantasy ideal of an erotic relationship, in which the beloved object asks for nothing and gives everything, instantly, and makes us feel all powerful, and doesn’t throw terrible scenes when it’s replaced by an even sexier object and is consigned to a drawer.
To speak more generally, the ultimate goal of technology, the telos of techne, is to replace a natural world that’s indifferent to our wishes — a world of hurricanes and hardships and breakable hearts, a world of resistance — with a world so responsive to our wishes as to be, effectively, a mere extension of the self.

Let me suggest, finally, that the world of techno-consumerism is therefore troubled by real love, and that it has no choice but to trouble love in turn.
technology  culture  love  society  iphone  advertising  relationships 
may 2011 by asterisk2a
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