allaboutgeorge + love   189

The Proposal's Jasmine Guillory on How to Write Consent - The Atlantic
“There are so many hard things going on. [But] reading romances about women of color finding joy and finding love is just something so affirming to me and something that I need to read,” she said. “Because all day you’re looking at the news or you’re on Twitter and you’re seeing all of the bad things that are happening to women out there, and I just need to see men treating women well in a book, you know?”

“Women who have their voices heard and have joy and love and agency—that's the thing I really love about romance.”
writing  books  writers  love  relationships  power  gender  race 
6 weeks ago by allaboutgeorge
How Stacey Abrams turned heartbreak into a side hustle as a romance novelist - The Washington Post
Leadership requires the ability to engage and to create empathy for communities with disparate needs and ideas. Telling an effective story — especially in romantic suspense — demands a similar skill set. Effective storytelling takes the reader into a life that is both familiar and foreign, enough of both to make space for others to feel empowered to tell their stories.
storytelling  story  writing  politics  language  leadership  novels  books  love  georgia 
7 weeks ago by allaboutgeorge
How Robyn, Pop’s Glittery Rebel, Danced Her Way Back From Darkness - The New York Times
When we had spoken in 2010 for a magazine profile while the “Body Talk” albums were in full swing, Robyn had mused on what she called the three big pillars of pop songwriting: love, the club and feeling like an outsider.

Sipping a pilsner at the restaurant in Stockholm’s Moderna Museet on an August afternoon, she said she’d add a few others to the mix now: “Eternity and death. And losing control.”

“In a way, I still agree that those are the three pillars of pop music. Those are pillars of youth,” she went on. “Everyone deals with sadness and lack of love when they’re kids, and all this abandonment. Most people do. Hopefully you want to learn something new and you want to move on to this other place, and I think for me, it was like, I really didn’t know how to calm myself down.”
art  music  songwriting  creativity  love  death  pop 
10 weeks ago by allaboutgeorge
The Atlantic: The Enduring Appeal of the ‘Fake Relationship’ Rom-Com
It’s thus hard to react with anything but genuine glee as the smitten Peter twirls Lara Jean around in the cafeteria, makes a sojourn all the way across town to get her favorite yogurt drink from the Korean grocery store, and writes her daily notes with an increasing sense of urgency. None of these acts officially breaks the rules that Lara Jean established for their false union, but that’s the point. Even in the face of self-imposed barriers, love—teenage or otherwise—finds a way to make itself known.
movies  film  story  love  teenagers  books  southkorea  asianamerican  relationships 
august 2018 by allaboutgeorge
Am I Gay or Straight? Maybe This Fun Quiz Will Tell Me - The New York Times
Lost in the many hundreds of quizzes I had taken was the power of making my own choice. Finally, at 28, I realized I could, if I wanted, be different from the person I had been told I was.
relationships  identity  lgbt  love  dating 
march 2018 by allaboutgeorge
The meaning of life, according to a spaceship | The Outline
I have a hard time accepting care, attention and love as good responses to these horrifying events. In the middle of disaster, what is caring other than false hope?
fiction  storytelling  science  scifi  books  love  relationships  life  space 
february 2018 by allaboutgeorge
How I fell in love with the Go-Betweens | Pádraig Collins | Opinion | The Guardian
Seeing them for the first time was probably as close as I’ll ever get to a religious experience. Seeing them again a night later ran it close. They seemed blown away by the reception they got, particularly Grant, who after the third song said, almost as if to convince himself, “We’re the Go-Betweens.”
music  australia  indie  rock  love  songwriting 
january 2018 by allaboutgeorge
I Am Not a Fish Dating a Bird | G’Ra Asim
Ascribing some kind of nobility to the choice not to date a black woman if you’re a black person or not to date an Asian man if you’re an Asian person is more likely to play into existing stigmas than ameliorate them.
race  dating  relationships  marriage  power  love  ethnicity  black  religion  asianamerican 
june 2017 by allaboutgeorge
Dating Games – The New Inquiry
It’s easier to talk to someone at a series of shows and parties and only gradually start to spend time with them on purpose, and then still not admit attraction until 6 am and sunrise finds both of you still sitting on their couch, talking in hushed tones across a six-inch distance. If it never happens, it’s easier to pretend there was never anything at stake. Ambiguous and indeterminate contexts leave room to negotiate and to save face.
dating  relationships  love  sex  technology  marriage  friendship 
february 2013 by allaboutgeorge
Aziz Ansari gets candid about love: “elusive and sadly ephemeral” | Comedy | Interview | The A.V. Club
I weirdly do consider myself an optimist about love. In my Buried Alive show, I tell a story about a guy who meets his future wife when he goes to Bed Bath & Beyond to get Drano. They fall in love. And in the joke, I just talk about how amazing it is that all these random factors came together to make it possible for these people to run into each other at this particular moment in time, in a parking lot at Bed Bath & Beyond, and then fall in love. I’m an optimist—I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment, any of us could have that Bed Bath & Beyond moment.
love  relationships  longreads  humor  comedy  research  marriage  sex  technology  dating 
february 2013 by allaboutgeorge
CBC Books - Breaking up in a digital age
"I thought I would get wonderful stories about infidelity, about people who were arguing until six in the morning or would not return their lover's or ex-lover's possessions," Gershon revealed to Spark host Nora Young. "Nothing of the sort. Everybody answered 'It was on Facebook. It was text.'"
love  relationships  marriage  internet  technology  social  facebook 
august 2011 by allaboutgeorge
The Grid TO | The uncanny allure of couples who make music together
When a band involves romance, there’s also a certain voyeuristic thrill for the audienc
music  creativity  love  relationships  writing  rock  songwriting  indie 
july 2011 by allaboutgeorge
Dan Savage on the Virtues of Infidelity - NYTimes.com
“One size never fits all, and it isn’t just dividing between men and women and gay and straight. Monoga­my is not natural, nonmonogamy is not natural. Variation is what’s natural.”
marriage  sex  polyamory  love  disclosure  family  relationships  reputation  men  women  gay 
july 2011 by allaboutgeorge
How a sex rebel was born - Sex News, Sex Talk - Salon.com
It would have been impossible in the crowd I was running in to be put down for being sexually interested in more than one person. I know that some of my comrades found it trickier to navigate because they felt deeply in love with one person and they wanted to nest with them and it made them a lot more nervous and hurt. It was tough sometimes.

Most people who ask me about this are coming from a place of serial monogamy, or where they've had secrets or cheating, and I'm kind of like: Well, how's it been for you? Monogamy isn't a religion. It's not like you believe in it and all of a sudden all your problems are solved. Meanwhile, your life goes on and you deal with real people and their real animal instincts and impulses and idiosyncrasies.
sex  love  relationships  power  religion  feminism 
march 2011 by allaboutgeorge
Study: Regrets? Women have a few, particularly in romance - Chicago Sun-Times
“Regret is something that can push people into better success in the future. It’s a motivator. ... It’s a benefit if you take a lesson and move on quickly. It’s a problem if you keep [re-living] that same regret over and over again.”
behavior  men  women  research  relationships  love  marriage  health 
march 2011 by allaboutgeorge
The hardest part about quitting drinking? Dating - Life stories - Salon.com
Most people you find attractive are not necessarily people you can spend a lot of time around. Getting drunk has the effect of turning any occasion into a party, though, and looking back, it can also do that with people. I always knew that alcohol made me feel so much more interesting. What I hadn't fully realized is how it made other people so much more interesting. When I think about successful dates from the past now, I wonder whether we were just fooling each other.
drinking  alcohol  dating  love  relationships 
february 2011 by allaboutgeorge
The economics of love - Coupling: Dating, marriage and other relationships - Salon.com
"Economics is the study of how people and societies allocate scarce resources. Relationships involve two people who are sharing scarce resources -- whether that's time, energy, libidos, money, ambition, patience, whatever -- and that's of course going to involve trade-offs."
economics  relationships  love  technology  data  information  men  women  sex  marriage  beauty  attention  money  dating 
january 2011 by allaboutgeorge
"Blue Valentine": An extraordinary and sexually frank romance - Andrew O'Hehir, Movie Critic - Salon.com
R.G.: Right. I think Derek didn't want it to be something that you can pin on one event. For him it was a study of: Where does love go? It's there and suddenly it's not, and each person has their own idea of what happened. You can't really pinpoint it as one specific event. It's all of these subtleties that you can't really talk about, and you have to watch and try to understand. He's asking the audience more than he's telling them. He's asking them: Here are these situations, what do you think is going wrong? What's the communication problem?
M.W.: And then it's like a poison. Like, it infiltrates everything. The smallest exchange you just can't get right. You don't know why, and you didn't set out to make it that way, but all the small things are wrong.
love  relationships  cinema  film  movie  fiction  marriage 
january 2011 by allaboutgeorge
NYT: Sustainable Love - Tara Parker
While the notion of self-expansion may sound inherently self-serving, it can lead to stronger, more sustainable relationships, Dr. Lewandowski says.

"If you're seeking self-growth and obtain it from your partner, then that puts your partner in a pretty important position," he explains. "And being able to help your partner's self-expansion would be pretty pleasing to yourself."

The concept explains why people are delighted when dates treat them to new experiences, like a weekend away. But self-expansion isn't just about exotic experiences. Individuals experience personal growth through their partners in big and small ways. It happens when they introduce new friends, or casually talk about a new restaurant or a fascinating story in the news.
psychology  love  marriage  relationships  power  work  creativity  science  education  identity  attention  presence 
january 2011 by allaboutgeorge
Paris Review – The Tao of Prince, Dan Piepenbring
Take “Raspberry Beret" [...] Peopled by such rural mainstays as Mr. McGee (the hardnosed boss of a five-and-dime) and Old Man Johnson (a farmer, of course), the song testifies to the bucolic joys of “doing something close to nothing,” shirking workaday life, and having a literal romp in the hay. All’s well and good until this arcadia is interrupted by another form of pastoral, the elegy. It creeps in with the beautiful, obscure line “Overcast days never turned me on, but something ’bout the clouds and her mixed.” Then comes a quiet reference to lost youth: He “wouldn’t change a stroke … with a girl as fine as she was then.” The last line brings a full-on lament, as Prince sings, “Tell me, where have all the raspberry women gone?” We could argue all day about what a raspberry woman is—for my money, it’s got nothing to do with fruit—and this is Prince’s inscrutable charm. Having lured us in with a frothy romance, he ends by mourning something we can’t even fully understand.
songwriting  prince  1980s  music  rock  writing  death  love  sex 
november 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Parsing Online Data to Find You a Date | Sam Yagan | Big Think
So it is a little bit of a marketing game, but it’s also a numbers game. So you should be reaching out to more people. Don’t be afraid about sending a message to somebody, even if you think you might be, you know, out of your league or not necessarily the best match for you. You have to go out there and you have to put those messages out there. You have to try. Don’t just cut and paste the same messages you sent to the last girl. Customize it. Think about "How do I actually get this specific person, guy or girl to write me back?"
dating  relationships  data  information  attention  presence  writing  identity  technology  love  research 
november 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Neil Gaiman on Amanda Palmer & the Dresden Dolls | SPIN.com
And when it's all over, and it's two a.m. and we are back in the hotel and the adrenaline is fading, Amanda, who has been subdued and awkward since the gig finished, starts crying, silently, uncontrollably, and I hold her, not sure what to say.

"You saw how good it was tonight?" she asks as she cries, and I tell her that, yes. I did, and for the first time it occurs to me how bad it must have got to make her leave something that meant that much to her, that made so many people happy.

Her cheeks are black with wet eye-make-up and it's smearing on the sheets and the pillow as she sobs and I hold her tight, and try with all my might to understand.
music  love  relationships  beauty  livemusic  rock 
november 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Hugh Hefner has been good for us - Roger Ebert's Journal
You may believe Playboy was the enemy of women. It objectified their bodies. It schooled men to regard them as sex objects. It stood for all that feminists fought to correct. There is some truth to that, but it doesn't impact upon my experience, and the best I can do here is be truthful.

Nobody taught me to regard women as sex objects. I always did. Most men do. And truth to tell, most women regard men as sex objects. We regard many other aspects of another person, but sex is the elephant in the room. Evolution has hard-wired us that way. When we meet a new person, in some small recess of our minds we evaluate that person as a sex partner. We don't act on it, we don't dwell on it, but we do it. You know we do. And this process continues bravely until we are old and feeble.
sex  men  women  magazines  love  relationships  identity  attention  presence  writing  journalism 
october 2010 by allaboutgeorge
'Don't Ask, Don't Tell': Confessions Of A Gay Soldier. | The New Republic
[...] I cannot help but think that many soldiers (though clearly not all) would simply shrug it off and welcome the gay soldier with a joke. Why? Because for every unit in which I have served, there has been a “Shrek,” the large soldier who needs to drop a few pounds. I have also encountered a “Speedy Gonzalez,” a Latino soldier who was crazy fast, and a “Helmet,” a cadet with an exceptionally large noggin. Each did his job competently nonetheless. The unit embraced him, but noted the way in which he was different. This teasing may seem mean-spirited, but it’s not; it’s a means of communicating, a way for fellow soldiers to remind one another “I know everything about you, yet I have your back.” [...]
gay  military  usa  dadt  love  war  power  ethnicity 
september 2010 by allaboutgeorge
New York Magazine: Mad Men Creator Matthew Weiner on the New Season
"[...] People believe in love in the most duplicitous circumstances — they believe in it even for Don and Betty, who have the worst marriage on the show, possibly of all time. Our concept of sin is in the Ten Commandments, and was always there. But the thing that’s strange to me is that when people turn on the television, they want to judge the bad guys and love the good guys. When you fall in love with characters, when they do crappy things, or are cruel to each other, you feel a sense of betrayal. [...]"
television  story  love  relationships  marriage  behavior 
july 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Many gay couples negotiate open relationships
"When we started this study, we felt we didn't know many people with open relationships, but now our friend set is much more diverse. People we didn't think were open turned out to be. It's just not talked about that much."
gay  polyamory  relationships  marriage  sex  health  behavior  love  hiv  aids  sanfrancisco 
july 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Suzanne Vega | interviews | musicOMH
"First of all I think as a young girl I felt very cynical about love," she recalls. "But as time goes on and you lose people in your life, you realise that love is the thing that matters most of all. It's not something to be cynical about or be embarrassed or inhibited by. It takes all forms and it takes all shapes - it's really much deeper and wider than you can ever imagine at the age of 20. It can be the guiding force of your life and there's no shame in having a deep and wide and full love life. I don't mean that in the sense of just having lots of boyfriends, I mean how do you connect to the community, what is your feeling towards mankind? You feel it in that sense, which is not something I felt 25 years ago."
songwriting  love  art  music  creativity  relationships 
june 2010 by allaboutgeorge
This Life - Google Restricts Ads for ‘Cougar’ Sites - NYTimes.com
Google continues to allow similar advertising for the many sites that match older men and younger women, like DateAMillionaire.com, which assures its clients they can meet “sugar babies.”

So cougars and cubs are out, but sugar daddies and sugar babies are in.
dating  relationships  love  technology  google  men  women  power  internet  marketing  sex 
may 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Screw happiness - Feminism - Salon.com
Here is what I have deduced so far both from my experiences and from the hissed warnings of those who propel me toward their idea of happiness and simultaneously warn me it will never really be attainable: There will be peaks -- falling in love, seeing new places, enjoying whatever form a family takes, drinking a beer on a warm night, seeing a baseball team win a long coveted pennant. And there will be valleys -- divorces and illnesses, joblessness and money trouble, watching those you love in pain, a ninth inning playoff loss. In those valleys, I'm not sure that it's happiness we first strive for, but rather the power to not get stuck, to move toward just slightly higher ground. A spot within view of a peak will often do just as nicely as a seat atop it.
happiness  psychology  health  attention  beauty  love  family 
may 2010 by allaboutgeorge
"For Better": The science of marital unhappiness - Nonfiction - Salon.com
It's not that if you have a bad memory of your first date that you're headed for divorce, but I think it's a useful tool to listen to yourself and your partner, and when you start to hear the negativity creep in, it's a red flag.

I was in marriage counseling at one point and the counselor wanted to hear about our first date, and I thought it was a ridiculous question. I thought we needed to talk about what's happening now, not what happened 20 years ago. And I wish she had stopped to explain that it does matter. Later, I would tell the exact same story and there would be a few little negative fingers in there. There's a big difference between saying, "We got horribly lost on our first date," and, "Of course, you didn't stop to ask for directions." It's the same first date but by the time he's being accused of not getting directions, you can tell that the relationship is going south. You can see that the structure of the relationship has changed.
marriage  relationships  love  science  research  books  nytimes  memory  story 
may 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Tracey Thorn, Singing Stories Of Fear And Loving : NPR
"If people carry on making music, but write lyrics always from the perspective of younger people, they're actually missing a trick," she says. "There are different stories to tell."
aging  songwriting  music  creativity  story  love  relationships 
may 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Sleep: Loss - Opinionator Blog - NYTimes.com
One day I met a man with the name of an angel. He was French. His accent was so thick, it sounded fake. We got to talking and I told him what had happened. “You’re going to be fine,” Emmanuel said right away. “Something bad always leads to something good.” He spoke from personal experience. His partner had died six years earlier. But he did not use that word died as he told me his story. Nor did he say passed away, a euphemism I had come to hate. Instead, Emmanuel said, “When my partner disappeared….” I knew this was not a case of poor English, a bungled translation. Still, I had to say something. “You said ‘disappeared’ —“

He nodded.

“That’s exactly how it feels for me, too.”
death  relationships  sleep  love  health 
april 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Sex Offender Week: Rivers Cuomo Messes You Up Forever - The Awl
I am not the world's leading expert on emotional maturity. I find that PJ Harvey song about mutilating dudes to be emotionally useful, on a more or less continual basis. But I will tell you this: The moment you, the female listener, break up with your internal Rivers Cuomo, the moment you renounce this particular mode of male expression and declare it no longer desirable or cute, the moment you no longer confuse the feeling of wanting to take a boy home and make him soup and somehow fix all his problems via blow job with love, is the moment that you're free. Because, at that point, you no longer care so much about his feelings. You still care, of course, about those. But never more than you care about your own.
feminism  music  humor  writing  nonfiction  1990s  relationships  love  men  women  rock 
april 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Aquarium Drunkard » Beach House :: The AD Interview
VL: [...] And I think that’s our lot in life; we’re musical soulmates. And I realize it more and more; it’s a lot harder to find your musical partner than your love partner.

AD: And they don’t necessarily have to be intertwined.

VL: No, and that’s the really special thing! And I think that’s why people always ask or they don’t understand or they don’t believe, “Well, how can you do this without this?” and exactly, that’s why! Because if we were involved, I think our project would destroy itself. I wonder how people do that. It’s something that I don’t really understand. But honestly, either way, I don’t really have time; my love, fortunately or unfortunately, is in making things and writing things, listening to other people’s music and reading about other people. My relationship is with the universe.
music  interviews  behavior  livemusic  creativity  relationships  rock  love 
april 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Is Marriage Good for Your Health? - NYTimes.com
“When someone holds your hand in a study or just shows that they are there for you by giving you a back rub, when you’re in their presence, that becomes a cue that you don’t have to regulate your negative emotion,” he told me. “The other person is essentially regulating your negative emotion but without your prefrontal cortex. It’s much less wear and tear on us if we have someone there to help regulate us.”
marriage  health  relationships  love  family  brain  emotion  research  science 
april 2010 by allaboutgeorge
The Democrats Are Doomed, or How A ‘Big Tent’ Can Be Too Big « OkTrends
"[D]espite the recent hopeful spate of Democratic victories, it's undeniable that the Republicans form an exceptionally effective opposition party. Today, we're going to perform a data-driven investigation of why this might be—and discover some fascinating things about the American electorate along the way. Our data set for this post is 172,853 people. [...]"
politics  relationships  data  love  power  democrats  republicans  identity  dating 
april 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Gene Weingarten - XXX for the XX Set: Women's erotica isn't just dirty. It's nice and dirty. - washingtonpost.com
Me: If men read these books, they'd be terrified.

Kate: Why?

Me: Because what it makes clear is that, in comparative literary terms, female sexuality is James Joyce's "Ulysses" and male sexuality is "The Hardy Boys."

Kate: I won't argue with that.

Me: How can we ever hope to compete with your expectations?

Kate: Interesting. That's what we say about the material you guys use for arousal.

Me: Maybe the answer is for men and women to abandon all these immature fantasies and work tirelessly to find joy and fulfillment in the simple reality of each other's love and understanding.

Kate: You're not very bright, are you? I like that in a man.
sex  writing  fiction  relationships  men  women  reading  creativity  identity  beauty  love  gender  story  art 
february 2010 by allaboutgeorge
Sacramento professor asks 30-year couples what keeps them married - Sacramento Living - Sacramento Food and Wine, Home, Health | Sacramento Bee
[...] Communication, respect and shared interests are among the themes emerging from his interviews.

"These are not check boxes," he said. "You develop a communication style and openness, and from that comes common interests and respect for the individual. I'm trying to get my students to stop looking for check boxes and the ideal picture."

He also wants his students to learn that sooner or later, every marriage faces difficulties.

"The key is how you overcome obstacles," he said. "Every marriage that's together 40 years is not perfect all the time. These people had their problems, and they worked through them.

"Just because it's hard doesn't mean it's bad," he added. "It means you're working through something you're committed to."
marriage  relationships  love  communication  presence  research  family 
january 2010 by allaboutgeorge
More Men Marrying Wealthier Wives - NYTimes.com
Syreeta McFadden, a 35-year-old Columbia and Sarah Lawrence graduate who is between jobs after working in real estate development, said: “With men of any ethnic group, it’s a little intimidating for them to encounter smart women. Money is tricky.

“But, I think for me, it comes down to compatibility,” Ms. McFadden said. “Can you grow with me? Or as my genius friend the textile designer says, she asks on first dates or meeting men in bars, ‘Do you have a passport and a library card?'"
women  men  relationships  love  marriage 
january 2010 by allaboutgeorge
TechCrunch: Skout Studies What Happens When Dating Goes Mobile
The company surveyed 1000 of its users 20-30 years old, with an even gender split. While everyone surveyed was a Skout user, the questions pertained to any mobile dating service. Now, obviously these stats don’t readily apply to the general public — everyone surveyed is already a Skout user, so they’re more likely than average to be inclined to use a mobile dating site. Here are some of the conclusions Skout came up with
dating  relationships  mobile  local  love  sex  polyamory  technology 
december 2009 by allaboutgeorge
IMDB: Adaptation. (2002) - Memorable quotes
Donald Kaufman: I loved Sarah, Charles. It was mine, that love. I owned it. Even Sarah didn't have the right to take it away. I can love whoever I want.
Charlie Kaufman: But she thought you were pathetic.
Donald Kaufman: That was her business, not mine. You are what you love, not what loves you. That's what I decided a long time ago.
english  quotes  language  love  beauty  identity  movies  film  relationships 
december 2009 by allaboutgeorge
SFGate: Mark Morford: Where have you been all my life?
[...] To me, it's all flavors of delightful to ponder these rifts and hiccups, these jumps and thrusts of time. Because the danger is, you can give up. You can become thoroughly stuck in your patterns, your tastes, how you think it's supposed to be. You can attach yourself and your identity early on to various ideas, styles, modes of being, and never budge as the world evolves and dances on, and you just grunt and scowl and wonder what happened to the good ol' days.

But if you remain open, you can circle back around and rediscover yourself in new and fascinating recombinations, as each generation comes forth, bearing startling new gifts. It's a simple truth, recast in a million variations: The delights and epiphanies, the loves and the gods, the deepenings and the awakenings? They find you when you are ready. And of course, vice-versa.

Really, what more could you ask for?
writing  attention  time  aesthetics  aging  music  beauty  art  love  rock 
december 2009 by allaboutgeorge
It’s Not You, it’s Me: Detecting Flirting and its Misperception in Speed-Dates
"Our flirtation-detection system uses prosodic, dialogue, and lexical features to detect a speaker’s intent to flirt with up to 71.5% accuracy, significantly outperforming the baseline, but also outperforming the human interlocuters. [...] Our analysis shows that humans are very poor perceivers of intended flirtatiousness, instead often projecting their own intended behavior onto their interlocutors."
love  language  relationships  men  women  sex  pdf  attention  dating  science  thinking  data  information  filetype:pdf  media:document 
october 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Why women have sex | Life and style | The Guardian
I thought that my lover adored me. No – it is because I have a symmetrical face. "I love you so much," he would say, if he could read his evolutionary impulses, "because you have a symmetrical face!" "Oh, how I love the smell of your compatible genes!" I would say back. "Symmetrical face!" "Compatible genes!" "Symmetrical face!" "Compatible genes!" And so we would osculate (kiss). I am really just a monkey trying to survive. I close the book.

I think I knew that.
sex  women  men  gender  power  relationships  love  beauty  communication  behavior  ethics  science  psychology 
october 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Miss Information, with Erin Bradley | Advice
Physical beauty is subjective. Not only that, but attraction has hundreds of components. They’re all woven together, like some big crazy quilt made of neurons, childhood memories, and hormones. No one can ever fully understand or unravel another person’s quilt.
beauty  sex  love  relationships  gender  childhood  psychology  identity  attention 
september 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Generation B - 50-Something, Divorced and Looking for Love - NYTimes.com
“Among the divorced, the least marriageables in our society are older women, highly educated who make a good salary.”

“Studies show men tend to marry down — someone slightly younger, less educated, making less money,” Dr. Adler-Baeder said. “Women in their 50s literally don’t have a visible pool of eligible men around them.”

“And if she’s tall on top of that,” Dr. Adler-Baeder said, “the pool’s even smaller.”
marriage  relationships  love  men  women  aging  beauty  families  children  dating  divorce 
september 2009 by allaboutgeorge
In recession, sexy paperbacks as cheap entertainment - ContraCostaTimes.com
"The romance industry is doing well ... because in tough times like these, people want to be entertained and they want it to be affordable. Our romance books ... have always guaranteed a happy ending," said Katherine Orr, a spokeswoman for Harlequin Enterprises.
books  love  relationships  fiction  story 
september 2009 by allaboutgeorge
About Last Night . . .The Boyfriend, by Carrie Hill Wilner - Nerve.com
Once, I heard that having a boyfriend isn't about auditioning guys for the role; it's about finding someone you care enough about to write the role for. Here, I've found a specific person, but what's getting in the way isn't my idea of what he should be. It's my idea of who I am: unfettered, of loose morals, wild, restless. I’m learning, though, that these qualities don't preclude me from loving someone, no matter how hard I'd throw a bottle at someone who suggested otherwise.
writing  relationships  identity  women  men  dating  love  nyc  behavior  sex  creativity  work 
september 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Pray First, Then Sex, Catholic Church Says | Carnal San Francisco
"Father, send your Holy Spirit into our hearts. Place within us love that truly gives, tenderness that truly unites, self-offering that tells the truth and does not deceive, forgiveness that truly receives, loving physical union that welcomes. Open our hearts to you, to each other and to the goodness of your will.

Cover our poverty in the richness of your mercy and forgiveness. Clothe us in our true dignity and take to yourself our shared aspirations, for your glory, for ever and ever. Mary, our Mother, intercede for us. Amen."
religion  sex  christianity  spirituality  love  marriage  polyamory 
september 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Straight, Single, and Sixty: The Truth About Dating After 55 | RHRealityCheck.org
Dating over fifty-five is alive and well in spite of the challenges, the heartbreak, and the silly happenings that come with age. The need for intimacy never ends.
sex  relationships  aging  love  friendship  health  1960s  dating 
august 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Well - Divorce, It Seems, Can Make You Ill - NYTimes.com
In a series of experiments, scientists at Ohio State studied the relationship between marital strife and immune response, as measured by the time it takes for a wound to heal. The researchers recruited married couples who submitted to a small suction device that left eight tiny blisters on the arm. The couples then engaged in different types of discussions — sometimes positive and supportive, at other times focused on a topic of conflict.

After a marital conflict, the wounds took a full day longer to heal. Among couples who exhibited high levels of hostility, the wound healing took two days longer than with those who showed less animosity.
marriage  health  science  divorce  communication  friendship  relationships  love  research  happiness  exercise 
august 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Modern Love - Those Aren’t Fighting Words, Dear - NYTimes.com
The truth feels like the biggest sucker-punch of them all: it’s not a spouse or land or a job or money that brings us happiness. Those achievements, those relationships, can enhance our happiness, yes, but happiness has to start from within. Relying on any other equation can be lethal.
love  relationships  beauty  language  money  happiness  marriage  parenting  divorce 
august 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Merce Cunningham and John Cage, forever inseparable | Culture Monster | Los Angeles Times
The only reason this approach could work is because the dancer and composer were on the same wavelength. They understood that music and dance would come together as friends. Theirs was a deep relationship based upon trust that honored independence, which is different from separation.
music  dance  friendship  relationships  art  creativity  work  beauty  love  gay 
july 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Salon.com Life | It's hot! It's sexy! It's ... marriage!
We talk about our marriages so seriously and with such reverence; we talk about our sex or lack thereof in the same way. Maybe we shouldn't. Maybe we shouldn't treat the institution and its dirty little companion as some sort of precious Fabergé egg that is either shattered and worthless or pristine, untouchable and priceless. Maybe it's more like Silly Putty and the plastic egg it comes in. Sometimes the egg is open, allowing for hours of stretchy, flexible fun; sometimes the egg is closed and kind of boring, but as long as the Silly Putty remains inside the egg it's still full of as much potential as your imagination allows, and the value of the egg is not diminished no matter how often or vigorously the egg or its contents are fingered or played with. (And yes, I was staring at a Silly Putty egg on my dining room table when I came up with that extended metaphor.)
marriage  relationships  beauty  love  sex  writing  men  women  humor  comedy 
july 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Scattershot, Desperate, and Sleazy | n+1
On Craigslist, people say what they want; on Nerve or OK Cupid, they say who they are, and you infer the rest. Craigslist is scattershot, confessional, desperate, and sleazy. It's like a wholesale thrift store where nothing is hung up, no two items are alike, and the savviest shoppers wear rubber gloves. The other dating sites are for discerning petit-bouregois who like to read Consumer Reports and make informed decisions. Craigslist's the insane, open-all-night corner store where you go at 3 a.m. for unhealthy snacks, where a bony cat roams the aisles and there's a permanent card game going on in back. You go there for what you want right now and will most likely consume in private. Or you go there because you just can't sleep, and you need somebody else to know it.
relationships  craigslist  dating  psychology  sex  love  internet  marketing  identity 
june 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Findings - Message in What We Buy, but Nobody’s Listening - NYTimes.com
“Evolution is good at getting us to avoid death, desperation and celibacy, but it’s not that good at getting us to feel happy,” he says, calling our desire to impress strangers a quirky evolutionary byproduct of a smaller social world.

“We evolved as social primates who hardly ever encountered strangers in prehistory,” Dr. Miller says. “So we instinctively treat all strangers as if they’re potential mates or friends or enemies. But your happiness and survival today don’t depend on your relationships with strangers. It doesn’t matter whether you get a nanosecond of deference from a shopkeeper or a stranger in an airport.”
psychology  science  nytimes  marketing  books  biology  friendship  relationships  happiness  death  love  evolution  social 
may 2009 by allaboutgeorge
A boom in online dating | Connecting up | The Economist
EHarmony.com "also noticed that the number of visits to its website was higher than average on days when the Dow Jones Industrial Average fell by more than 100 points."
dating  relationshps  men  women  sex  love  online  social  socialnetworking  business 
march 2009 by allaboutgeorge
BBC NEWS | UK | Magazine | Even anarchists like a little romance
"From a distance, when you think of anarchists you think of big boots and fighting with policemen," he says.

"But all the ones I've met have been very nice, very committed people. They believe in something and they want to find love, just like everyone else. Why would that surprise anyone?"
love  relationships  society  uk  politics  police  activism  community 
february 2009 by allaboutgeorge
Author of newly released Bicycles, Nikki Giovanni gives tips on writing a love poem | Virginia Tech News | Virginia Tech
Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Bicycles has hit the shelves. Reading it aloud may be a great way to start off a romantic evening but if creating an original poem sounds intriguing, Giovanni reflects on what it takes to write a love poem
poetry  love  howto  diy  relationship  writing  creativity 
february 2009 by allaboutgeorge
The Daily Dish | By Andrew Sullivan (November 20, 2008) - Modernity, Faith, And Marriage
"[...] The dreams of total pre-modern coherence - whether in the malign fantasies of the Taliban or the benign aspirations of theocons longing for the 1950s in the 21st century - are dreams undone by freedom. We live in a new world, and we can and should create meaning where we can, in civil society, in private, through free expression and self-empowerment. But we cannot enforce that old meaning on others by law. [...]"
marriage  gay  civilrights  love  religion  spirituality 
november 2008 by allaboutgeorge
Well - More People Appear to Be Cheating on Their Spouses, Studies Find - NYTimes.com
“I see a changing landscape in which the emphasis is less on the sex than it is on the openness and intimacy and the revelation of secrets. Everybody talks by cellphone and the relationship evolves because you become increasingly distant from whomever you lie to, and you become increasingly close to whomever you tell the truth to.”
marriage  love  sex  relationships  friendship  technology  identity  ethics  communication  research  polyamory  cellphones  mobile 
october 2008 by allaboutgeorge
William Claxton, Jazz Photographer, Is Dead at 80 - Obituary (Obit) - NYTimes.com
"When we started out, there were hardly any other photographers doing this kind of thing because there was no money in it. We started doing it because of the love of photography and the love of jazz."
jazz  photography  culture  music  love  obituaries 
october 2008 by allaboutgeorge
Sixteen years and counting - 2008 Presidential Campaign Blog - Political Intelligence - Boston.com
The other night, on a flight from Washington to Grand Rapids, Mich. Obama was offering reporters some tips on maintaining a healthy marriage. No real gems of wisdom, just some self-evident rules of the road: "Sense of humor, listening."

"Never forget an anniversary?" he was asked.

"No, because Michelle forgot my first one," he said, adding "Never get so mad that you forget why you love them."
love  obama  marriage  relationships 
october 2008 by allaboutgeorge
Matchmakers, Matchmakers, Making a Mint - washingtonpost.com
"By your late 20s, many people are not willing to stand around in a bar all night . . . and they've met everybody they would've met through their office mates. So they're turning to new ways to do this same old thing, which is: find love."
love  relationships  marriage  men  women  technology  work  jobs  sex  money  social  yasns 
september 2008 by allaboutgeorge
A Commitment Pill? - Olivia Judson - Evolution - Opinion - New York Times Blog
"Examples of the socially monogamous? They include Kirk’s dik-dik, a small African antelope; the fat-tailed dwarf lemur, a small primate from Madagascar; the prairie vole, a North American rodent; some human beings."
science  love  relationships  research  health  animals  fauna 
september 2008 by allaboutgeorge
Love and infidelity: How our brains keep us from straying - Los Angeles Times
[...] "A new line of research is exploring how automatic psychological mechanisms kick into action when the eye starts to wander, helping resist temptation and strengthening the relationship -- even without us being aware of it. Here's a sample from some recently published experiments (all on heterosexual men and women in committed monogamous relationships) that show how our brain keeps us connected to -- and, yes, even happy with -- the old ball and chain. (Spoiler: When it comes to relationships, men and women are a bit different.) [...]"
love  men  women  marriage  relationships  beauty  sex  psychology  biology  science  research 
september 2008 by allaboutgeorge
David Foster Wallace's "Roger Federer as Religious Experience" - Tennis - New York Times
"[...] Of course, in men’s sports no one ever talks about beauty or grace or the body. Men may profess their “love” of sports, but that love must always be cast and enacted in the symbology of war: elimination vs. advance, hierarchy of rank and standing, obsessive statistics, technical analysis, tribal and/or nationalist fervor, uniforms, mass noise, banners, chest-thumping, face-painting, etc. For reasons that are not well understood, war’s codes are safer for most of us than love’s. [...]"
sports  writing  essay  nonfiction  beauty  men  war  love  toread 
september 2008 by allaboutgeorge
BBC NEWS | Health | Declaring love boosts sex appeal
"Combining information about others' physical beauty with information about how attracted they appear to be to you allows you to allocate your social effort efficiently."
love  relationships  beauty  men  women  sex  communication  thinking  information  social  dating  behavior  health  science  research  psychology 
september 2008 by allaboutgeorge
Open doesn't Equal Indiscriminate | BlogHer
“Yeah, some guys think open relationship equals slutty,” said A, a polyamorous friend. “Oh yeah, they hope you’re indiscriminate,” said another, citing the “puppy dog eyes” she gets from some of the men she knows.
polyamory  love  relationships  marriage  women  feminism  facebook 
september 2008 by allaboutgeorge
globeandmail.com: Late love
"Ralph, Ralph. Dear God, Ralph had sent me 50 roses for my 50th birthday. And my husband, whose name wasn't Ralph, was holding his card. This wasn't a promising start to my second half-century, nor, it must be said, to our romantic getaway to Hovey Manor. [...]"
canada  love  relationships  marriage  disease  mourning  death  writing  nonfiction 
august 2008 by allaboutgeorge
'Let love abide' - Southern Voice Atlanta
"You have to love people regardless, and hold them in that light. That’s what turns that energy of violence, or hatred or bigotry into something else. I think you have to be steadfast in that."
music  atlanta  georgia  songwriting  creativity  rock  folk  gay  women  love  activism  interviews 
august 2008 by allaboutgeorge
Trrill | Luomo - Tessio
"Those words that you can recite over and over in your head, but when the moment comes—when your heart starts beating and the music swells—all you can muster are echos and portions of those words. It's a beautifully jumbled stammer of apologies, confessions, and idol worship."
music  writing  songwriting  relationships  beauty  dance  thinking  love 
july 2008 by allaboutgeorge
Lesbian chic - Times Online
"Love is not a lifestyle option. Love is a beautiful, happy accident between two people, no matter what their gender. "
love  relationships  celebrity  gender  feminism 
july 2008 by allaboutgeorge
Washington Post: An Airfare to Remember
"We're just trying to make it up as we go along. It's tough to define it. It's not going to be what a standard relationship is going to be."
travel  love  relationships  cities  oil 
july 2008 by allaboutgeorge
8Asians.com » Gay interracial relationships: On being “sticky rice” and loving other Asian men: An Asian American/Asian Canadian Blog
"Hopefully, this post — however long-winded as it is — will put an end to my own personal frustration of seeing all the straight Asian people bitch and moan. You all got it lucky. Look at my frickin’ dating pool."
men  asian  dating  relationships  gay  aesthetics  identity  love  gender  race  racism  writing 
june 2008 by allaboutgeorge
Salon.com Books | Kiss my ass
"One can only wonder: Who will be the Sodomites of tomorrow?" Oh, that's easy.
sex  marriage  polyamory  books  love  beauty  relationships  law  justice 
june 2008 by allaboutgeorge
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