Brandysnaps + crack   496

No Whammies [Unpretty]
"Why do the Robins keep gettin' smaller?" Harley asked. "Were ya just barebackin' with progressively smaller women?" Catwoman hissed and tried to swipe at her throat. "What? Why are you mad? You're way on the low end of the bell curve, he's got nowhere to go unless he meets a hobbit."
Author:Unpretty  Fic  WordCount:0-2k  Batman  Humour  Crack  Gen  <3  AO3 
january 2017 by Brandysnaps
Bruce Wayne at Walmart [Unpretty]
tim drake’s snapchat is 90% him making bruce wayne do normal middle-class american things and filming the results.
Author:Unpretty  Fic  WordCount:2-5k  Batman  Gen  Humour  Crack  Tumblr  <3 
august 2016 by Brandysnaps
Get Dunked On [Bishounen_curious]
Remember the time that Aomine tried to suck his own dick and Momoi walked in on him? Do you also remember how Aomine then gave himself a minor concussion by trying to cover up what he was doing?
Author:Bishounen_curious  Fic  WordCount:0-2k  KurokoNoBasket  Aomine/Momoi  Humour  Crack  Source 
june 2016 by Brandysnaps
A Consummation Devoutly to be Wished [Mirabella]
"I can do this," Draco said aloud, determined. "It's just a matter of not sleeping with Potter. I've spent six years not sleeping with Potter. I hate Potter. Not sleeping with him will be the easiest thing I've ever done."

"Sure, boss," Goyle said kindly.
Author:Mirabella  Fic  Harry/Draco  Trope:VeelaHeritage  Crack  Humour  Smut  Romance  WordCount:5-10k  HP  Source 
may 2016 by Brandysnaps
#weedhorse69 [Unpretty]
Superman decided to try out a new costume. He did not consult the artist. In fairness, he was a little miffed that he'd been drawing weird porn of him, so. Fair's fair.
Author:Unpretty  Fic  WordCount:0-2k  Superman  DCU  Humour  Crack  Gen  Source 
may 2016 by Brandysnaps
Bad Publicity [Unpretty]
Bruce Wayne is either really bad at Twitter, or really, really good.
Author:Unpretty  Fic  WordCount:0-2k  Batman  Crack  Humour  Source 
may 2016 by Brandysnaps
Gothamite (or The World's Greatest Detective) [NegativNein]
"Billionaire Brucie subdued the Winter Soldier with an orange, a toaster, and a fridge magnet?!?"
Author:NegativNein  Fic  WordCount:0-2k  TheAvengers  Batman  Crossover  Crack  Humour  Source 
april 2016 by Brandysnaps
Kiss-Kiss [Who_la_hoop]
“Draco,” Harry said, scandalised, “the teddy bears are watching.” (Or, five times Draco kissed Harry during 'eighth year', and the one time Harry kissed him first.)
Author:Who_la_hoop  Fic  WordCount:5-10k  Harry/Draco  5_Things  Crack  Romance  Humour  Smut  HP  Source 
april 2016 by Brandysnaps
It’s Good to be Young but let’s not Kid Ourselves [Suzukiblu]
“Er,” Falsworth says.

“Jesus fucking fuck,” Dugan says, better encapsulating the group’s reaction at large.

“This is the best mission we’ve ever had,” Bucky says, as the one and only outlier. He has never sounded so delighted to be surrounded.
Author:Suzukiblu  Fic  WordCount:2-5k  CaptainAmerica  Gen  Humour  Crack  Fluff  Trope:Kid!Fic  Source 
march 2016 by Brandysnaps
With Apologies to Mariah Carey [KareliaSweet]
Pure, unapologetic Christmas murder fluff, based on a prompt requiring some sort of hostage situation. Please disregard every sensible thought you have about the workings of security in outdoor shopping malls.
Author:KareliaSweet  Fic  WordCount:0-2k  Hannibal  Hannibal/Will  Fluff  Humour  Action  Romance  Crack  Trope:Christmas  Source 
december 2015 by Brandysnaps
The Four Ds of Apparition (or: Destination, Determination, Deliberation, and Dicks) [Eidheann, Firethesound]
After transferring to the Apparition Department, Harry's life becomes one big dick joke. And all his friends are arseholes. So is Malfoy, but what else is new? AKA Harry Potter and the twenty dicks.
Author:Firethesound  Fic  WordCount:20-40k  Harry/Draco  FutureFic  Humour  Crack  Romance  HP  Source 
november 2015 by Brandysnaps
Desperate Times, Desperate Measures [Silvia]
Some things are inevitable. And then there's Sean and Eduardo in a Canadian shack.
Author:Silvia  Fic  WordCount:0-2k  TheSocialNetwork  Sean/Eduardo  Crack  Humour  Source 
november 2015 by Brandysnaps
Mad Geniuses and Fluffy Tigers [Amlago]
This is the story about how Calvin drops out of MIT and got a job at Stark Industries. A job, and one and a half cubicle for him and Hobbes. And a yearly supply of high grade tuna for as long as he works there.
Author:Amlago  Fic  WordCount:10-20k  CalvinAndHobbes  Crossover  TheAvengers  Crack  Humour  Action  Fluff  Ensemble  Source 
november 2015 by Brandysnaps
There May Be Some Collateral Damage [Metisket]
Ichigo’s been ordered to go undercover at a magic school to bodyguard a kid named Harry Potter, and this would be fine, except that he’s about as good at bodyguarding as he is at magic. And he considers it a good day, magic-wise, if he hasn’t set anything on fire.
Author:Metisket  Fic  WordCount:40-100k  Bleach  Crossover  Gen  Crack  Humour  Action  <3  HP  Source 
november 2015 by Brandysnaps
Click Click Click (Goes the Sound of Matt's Life Falling Apart) [Anon]
Karen has just returned from her lunch break and Matt is contemplating taking his, when Foggy suddenly barks a laugh and says, “Dude, Matt! The internet thinks you're fucking Daredevil!”

Matt freezes, fingers stilling over the case file he's been reviewing, his blood running cold. “They think I'm what?” he manages, aiming for bewildered. It comes out a bit strangled. He's going to kill Foggy for doing this in front of Karen.

“When I say fucking Daredevil,” Foggy clarifies, “I mean fucking Daredevil.”
Author:Anon  Fic  WordCount:0-2k  Daredevil  Gen  Humour  Ensemble  Crack  Source 
june 2015 by Brandysnaps
Adequate Boyfriend Patrick Kane [Thecoggs, Notaflower]
coggs: “did oranges always taste this good?’ he asks pat after sex one time
Pat gives him a funny look, but peels another orange for him
notaflower: AN ORANGE IS PEELED
FOR BRAD
he is so thrilled
coggs: THE HAPPIEST
Kaner is the like, most mundane average boyfriend ever but for b richie he might as well be King of Boyfriends
notaflower: he PARTICIPATES
coggs: HE BOOKS DINNER RESERVATIONS
FOR ANNIVERSARIES
WHICH HE REMEMBERS
notaflower: brad is just like Thrilled
by everything he does
Author:Thecoggs  Author:Notaflower  Chat!fic  Tumblr  HockeyRPF  PatrickKane/BradRichards  Crack  Humour  <3  WordCount:0-2k 
june 2015 by Brandysnaps
We Need To Talk About Paul [Amosanguis]
In which Sidney Crosby wins three fights in one night, Paul Bissonnette gets a hat trick, and hockey journalists across nations implode.

Mario knows exactly whose fault this is.
Author:Amonsanguis  Fic  HockeyRPF  SidneyCrosby/EvgeniMalkin  Crack  Humour  Gen  WordCount:0-2k  Trope:Bodyswap  Source 
may 2015 by Brandysnaps
#hockeyporn [Jedusaur]
Kane blows past Toews' D and circles around, looking for an opening... and he finds one, taking a hard slapper, and Toews gets a piece of that.
Author:Jedusaur  Fic  WordCount:0-2k  HockeyRPF  PatrickKane/JonathanToews  PWP  Humour  Crack  Source 
april 2015 by Brandysnaps
Steve Rogers' Dad Face and Other Common Hazards [AggressiveWhenStartled]
Today, Peter was honest-to-god going to see Captain America himself up close, in person, and not from a rooftop or tiny crevice like a creepy stalker fanboy.

Even better, he was going to watch Steve Rogers make history by soldiering his beleaguered way through the most intensely awkward and honestly ridiculous press conference in the history of ever-- jaw thrust out and spine ramrod straight. Trying hard to be polite and respectful in the face of adversity.

While a bunch of assholes with cameras and microphones shouted at him about Iron Man’s adolescent dick.
Author:AggressiveWhenStartled  Fic  TheAvengers  WordCount:2-5k  Spiderman  Humour  Crack  Gen  Source 
april 2015 by Brandysnaps
Technically A One-Song Transformation Montage [Salomonderiel]
In training, Merlin had his methods of telling which candidates could hack it, and which couldn't.
Some of them were more humane than others.

Hartwin more as a minor thing. This is mostly Merlin being a little shit.
Author:Salomonderiel  Fic  WordCount:2-5k  Kingsman  Gen  Humour  Crack  Eggsy/Harry  Source 
april 2015 by Brandysnaps
Call It Magic [Thundersquall]
“It’s the faerie blood in me,” Patrick explains.

Jonny is just not equipped to deal with this shit.

OR, on March 17, Patrick turns into a faerie.

[Characterisation unconvincing]
Author:Thundersquall  Fic  WordCount:10-20k  HockeyRPF  PatrickKane/JonathanToews  Crack  Humour  Romance  Fantasy  AU  Source 
april 2015 by Brandysnaps
No I in Team [Leupagus, Sutlers]
In which no one on Five-0 wants to act out military-themed gangbang porno. Sadly.
Author:Leupagus  Author:Sutlers  Fic  WordCount:10-20k  Hawaii50  Gen  Humour  Crack  Source 
march 2015 by Brandysnaps
Smaug the Terrible... Hamster? [Alkjira]
Allergic reactions occur when a person's immune system reacts to normally harmless substances in the environment.
Symptoms include red eyes, itchiness, and runny nose, eczema, hives, or turning into a hamster.
Author:Alkjira  Fic  TheHobbit  WordCount:2-5k  Humour  Crack  Fluff  AU  Bilbo/Thorin  Trope:AnimalTransformation  Source 
february 2015 by Brandysnaps
Spotted: Reynholm Industries [Lc2l]
Spotted! Two men from Reynholm Industries IT department out for a quickie in a very extended lunch hour. Who knew the basement was so sordid? Why do they keep trying to deny that there's anything going on? Is all of this a reaction to the tragic death of their manager, Jen Barber?

Read on to find out more.
Author:Lc2l  Fic  TheITCrowd  Gen  Humour  Crack  WordCount:2-5k  Source 
january 2015 by Brandysnaps
You've Such A Lovely Temperature [RC_McLachlan]
"I'm just imagining your syllabus. Week 3: How To Flay A Man with a Spoon in 90 Minutes or Less. I'm sure the parents will have no objections."

"Flaying is an outdated practice that is fit for only the barbaric. And it takes too long. Much easier to just compress a body into a tiny metal box and bury it on the side of the highway."

"… I'm truly speechless."

"Let's mark the date; it will probably never happen again."
Author:RC_McLachlan  Fic  X-Men:FirstClass  Charles/Erik  Romance  Humour  Crack  Fluff  Short  WordCount:0-2k  Source 
november 2014 by Brandysnaps
Operation Star-Spangled Double(s) [Oatrevolution]
“Y’know, there are technically three of us,” Clint pointed out. “Shouldn’t it be Operation Star-Spangled Doubles?”

“Now you’re just nitpicking,” Tony said. He tacked a hasty (s) to the end of DOUBLE.

“Also, I’m pretty sure that’s permanent marker,” Clint added.

“Damn it!” Tony shouted.


Or, in the Parlance of the Internet, a Most Useful and Modern Device, a List:

Step 1: Impersonate Captain America.
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Profit.
CaptainAmerica  Author:Oatrevolution  Fic  TheAvengers  Steve/Bucky  General  Action  Humour  Crack  <3  WordCount:10-20k  Source 
october 2014 by Brandysnaps
Fenestration and the Art of Self Defense [Airawyn]
In which Darcy Lewis catsits for Captain America and Bucky Barnes doesn't use the front door.
Author:Airawyn  Fic  CaptainAmerica  Gen  Crack  Humour  Friendship  <3  WordCount:10-20k  Source 
october 2014 by Brandysnaps
Disco Stick (of DEATH) [Tsukinofaerii]
One of the things no one warned Lydia about when she started tapping into her banshee powers was how often she'd have to save people from themselves. Most notably, people like Tony Stark, who is supposedly her boss in her new internship at Stark Industries. She doesn't know what he's doing, but whatever it is, it's pure death, and it keeps coming for him. If she weren't such a good person, she'd just let him die. She totally blames Scott for that.

Sam's sometimes had a rough road, but when he and Dean get signed on by Tony Stark to check out a little werewolf problem in New York, it's a stroke of luck. Not only is Tony willing to pay them for it, but he's also hot, rich and very obviously interested in Sam. What could possibly go wrong?

(Or, the one where Lydia's banshee powers constantly cockblock Sam's death dick.)
Author:Tsukinofaerii  Fic  TeenWolf  Ironman  Supernatural  Crossover  General  <3  Action  Drama  Crack  WordCount:10-20k  Source 
september 2014 by Brandysnaps
Space Kaner [Celli]
Patrick has an extra toe from an unfortunate accident as a child and an inconvenient crush on his commanding officer. It gets worse from there.
Author:Celli  HockeyRPF  PatrickKane/JonathanToews  Fic  Short  AU  Humour  StarTrek  Fusion  Crack  WordCount:2-5k  Source 
august 2014 by Brandysnaps
(If You're Feeling Down) I Can Feel You Up [Sloom]
"Hey," Patrick said appreciatively from behind where Jonny stood, stoic as always, by the side of the pool. "Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Because you have a sweet ass.”

Or: How Patrick Kane spent his summer hitting on the hot lifeguard with the help of some inspired (read: awful) pickup lines.
Author:Sloom  PatrickKane/JonathanToews  HockeyRPF  Fic  AU  Romance  Fluff  Humour  Crack  WordCount:0-2k  Source 
august 2014 by Brandysnaps
And now for an AU where Tazer and Kaner did go to free agency [Svmadelyn]
svmadelyn @sweepingexits · 1h

LRT = a dark part of me wishes they HAD gone to free agency so that people could see how MUCH they were turning down. Also, ‘cause I want to
svmadelyn @sweepingexits · 1h

- see the wooing attempts by other teams/sheer insanity that would ensue. The Leafs offer the ENTIRE CITY OF TORONTO. -
Author:Svmadelyn  Not!fic  HockeyRPF  Crack  Humour  Gen  <3  AU  Fic  WordCount:0-2k  Tumblr 
august 2014 by Brandysnaps
Barnes & the Brooklyn Irish [Zetsubonna]
Bucky is a mafia boss and Steve is his tiny-yet-somehow-extremely-intimidating "mafia wife".
Author:Zetsubonna  Fic  Steve/Bucky  CaptainAmerica  AU  AU:Mafia  Romance  General  Dark  Crack  WordCount:2-5k  Source 
august 2014 by Brandysnaps
Wedding Planner AU [Nebulia13]
Patrick knows he does not look like the ideal wedding planner, but when he tried khakis and button-downs he tended to get overly disheveled and always look like he was dressing up in his dad’s clothes.

So unless he’s at a wedding, or meeting clients at golf courses (which happens fairly frequently, oddly enough—fortunately, he also usually gets free golf out of it, so score), he tends to dress pretty casually, which is how he ends up meeting David Toews’ best man and older brother at a cake sampling, wearing a pair of shorts, a tank top that says “THUG LIFE (drop the ‘t’ and get over here),” and a Hawks snapback.
Author:Nebulia13  Fic  HockeyRPF  PatrickKane/JonathanToews  AU  Romance  Fluff  Humour  Crack  <3  Short  WordCount:2-5k  Tumblr 
august 2014 by Brandysnaps
tag ur porn [Lazulisong]
The screen blipped and the person reappeared, now clutching a large Ragdoll cat who was purring even as the human muffled another scream in it's fur. "Omigod. Omigod. I'm calm. I'm calm. GUYS. So you remember how I said I hoped you'd send in reaction vids to the hairstyle tutorials? I think Captain America just sent me one, oh my fucking God." They squeezed the cat tightly enough that it let out a mildly protesting squeak. "OH GOD, Roadkill, I'm so sorry, Mommy's so excited right now." They let go of the cat and it sort of flowed into a puddle between them and the camera. "Okay. Okay. Roll video."

Sam paused the video long enough to break out the ginger ale and vodka.
Author:Lazulisong  Fic  CaptainAmerica  Steve/Bucky  Fluff  Gen  Humour  Crack  WordCount:0-2k  Source 
august 2014 by Brandysnaps
Kaner Lays the Pipe [Coggs]
Patrick Kane had to suck a lot of dick to get Jonny to take him seriously.
Author:Coggs  Fic  HockeyRPF  PatrickKane/JonathanToews  Romance  Humour  Smut  General  Crack  WordCount:10-20k  Source 
august 2014 by Brandysnaps
Drop it Low [Uraneia]
In which Sidney Crosby discovers twerking and decides it'd be a good idea to add it to the Penguins' workout routine, and Paulie knows exactly who to blame.
Author:Uraneia  Fic  HockeyRPF  SidneyCrosby/EvgeniMalkin  Crack  Humour  Romance  Fluff  Ensemble  Short  WordCount:0-2k  Source 
august 2014 by Brandysnaps
Something's Telling Me to Leave but I Won't [Starswalkbackward]
In 2nd grade, Nicki Welch told Stiles Stilinski that his plaid shirt and Spiderman graphic tee looked stupid. He responded by looking pointedly at her stomach and saying that bloodsucking hookworms were inside about 700 million people.

She cried for two hours, and Ms. Briar made him go to the quiet chair. “One day, your mouth is really going to get you into trouble!” she’d scolded with a wagging finger.

Stiles contemplates those words as his dad’s new deputy hauls him into the station.

He’s still totally going to blame Scott for the situation, though
Author:Starswalkbackward  Fic  TeenWolf  Derek/Stiles  Gen  Pre-slash  AU  Humour  Crack  <3  WordCount:2-5k  Source 
july 2014 by Brandysnaps
Rolling in (Tasteful Amounts of) Cash [Floss]
"In honor of the new contract extension, Kaner suggests they fuck on a pile of money. Jonny has to admit it's not the worst idea he's ever had."
Author:Floss  Fic  HockeyRPF  PatrickKane/JonathanToews  Romance  PWP  Humour  Crack  WordCount:0-2k  Source 
july 2014 by Brandysnaps
A Run in Tights [Jenna_thorn]
Hermione has a clever plan to avoid Deatheaters in pursuit
Author:Jenna_thorn  Fic  Gen  Humour  Crack  WordCount:2-5k  HP  Source 
june 2014 by Brandysnaps
Way of the Eagle [Jaune_Chat]
Clint introduces Steve to kung-fu movies. Things escalate quickly.
Author:Jaune_chat  Fic  TheAvengers  Gen  Short  Humour  Crack  <3  WordCount:0-2k  Source 
june 2014 by Brandysnaps
Dickmagician [Ingberry]
Arthur just needed to know that he could take a good dick pic. He wasn't going to do anything with it, obviously. It was just an experiment, just a test he had to prove to himself that he could pass.

Drunk Arthur had other ideas, though. Who knew there were people online willing to review other people's dick pics?

And frankly, Arthur was never going to settle for anything less than an A+.
Author:Ingberry  Fic  Merlin  Arthur/Merlin  Romance  AU  Merlin:ModernAU  Humour  Crack  Schmoop  Smut  WordCount:5-10k  Source 
june 2014 by Brandysnaps
Hot Diggity Dog [Creampuffer]
Patrick owns a hotdog stand that Jon grudgingly goes to off of Sharp's recommendation.
or
Like a coffee shop!AU, only with hot dogs.
or
How Jon grew to love both Patrick's wieners and his wiener.
Author:Creampuffer  Fic  HockeyRPF  PatrickKane/JonathanToews  AU  Humour  Romance  Fluff  Crack  <3  WordCount:5-10k  Source 
june 2014 by Brandysnaps
Duck Tales [Chaoticallyclev]
“I think he needs floaties.”

Patrick resists the strong urge he gets to slam his head against the wall. “Kaner. He’s a duck; I don’t think they make floaties for them. What kind of duck can’t swim?”

“The kind that are magically transformed hockey players?” Kaner suggests and damn it, he has a point.
Author:Chaoticallyclev  Fic  HockeyRPF  PatrickKane/JonathanToews  Romance  General  Humour  Fluff  Crack  Trope:AnimalTransformation  WordCount:2-5k  Source 
may 2014 by Brandysnaps
Highly Sticked [Jedusaur]
"Yes, Kaner," Sharpy's saying as Jonny sits down next to them with a beer. "It would indeed be gay to measure your teammates' dicks to find out whose is biggest."
Author:Jedusaur  Fic  HockeyRPF  PatrickKane/JonathanToews  Romance  Smut  Humour  Crack  WordCount:2-5k  Source 
may 2014 by Brandysnaps
Ships Not Sailed [James]
Sidney Crosby is a well-respected gentleman and is absolutely not a spy. Patrick Kane is not a gentleman, and is absolutely not a card sharp. He's just really, really good. He's also a Duke. Therein lies none of the real trouble.

In the distant future, Prince Jonathan still wonders how any of this happened, and can he still go marry TJ instead.
Author:James  Fic  HockeyRPF  SidneyCrosby/PatrickKane  AU  AU:Royalty  Humour  Crack  Romance  SidneyCrosby/EvgeniMalkin/JonathanToews/PatrickKane  WordCount:5-10k  Source 
april 2014 by Brandysnaps
What a Girl Wants [SilviaKundera]
In which Sean wakes up a girl and continues to make wacky life choices.
Author:Silvia  Fic  TheSocialNetwork  Sean/Eduardo  Trope:Genderswap  Crack  Humour  WordCount:0-2k  Source 
april 2014 by Brandysnaps
The Epic Tale of Rodney & John, Two Girl Scout Cookies in Love [Bitter-crimson]
And John apparently was really cool -- at least, according to all the other Samoas. It was actually quite disgusting.

[WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ?!]
Author:Bitter_crimson  SGA  Crack  McShep  Humour  Romance  Smut  Fic  Comic  AU  WordCount:10-20k  Source 
march 2014 by Brandysnaps
Balls Out [Hetrez]
So, this is not fiction. This is the story I want to write about how watching 21 Jump Street helps Kaner and Tazer become real boys.

Because, okay, I want a story where Patrick Kane is secretly a genius.
Author:Hetrez  Fic  HockeyRPF  PatrickKane/JonathanToews  Romance  Humour  Fluff  Crack  Chat!fic  WordCount:0-2k  Source 
march 2014 by Brandysnaps
Maybe It's Madelyn [Popfly]
Patrick lets Maddy paint his nails, and it starts more than just a new superstition. Featuring matchmaker Madelyn Sharp.
Author:Popfly  Fic  HockeyRPF  PatrickKane/JonathanToews  Romance  Fluff  Humour  Crack  Ensemble  WordCount:2-5k  Source 
march 2014 by Brandysnaps
The Hockey Gods (Must Be Crazy) [Solarcat]
In which Sidney Crosby goes for a walk one day, and somehow most of the NHL ends up worshipping a defaced Winnipegian brick. It's all Jonny Toews' fault.
Author:Solarcat  Fic  HockeyRPF  PatrickKane/JonathanToews  SidneyCrosby/EvgeniMalkin  Gen  Ensemble  Humour  Crack  WordCount:2-5k  Source 
march 2014 by Brandysnaps
Romper Room [James]
Sharpie doesn't really think this should be part of his duty as alternate captain. Luckily, none of this is his fault. A.K.A., the one where Kaner and Johnny are five.
Author:James  Fic  PatrickKane/JonathanToews  HockeyRPF  Gen  Humour  Crack  Trope:De-aged  Short  WordCount:0-2k  Source 
march 2014 by Brandysnaps
Put Down in Black and Pink [Alex Smith]
"I don't get it," Sharpy says.

Kaner huffs. "Just deliver it to Jonny, okay? You can leave it on his pillow or whatever. Just... he just needs to get it."

"I still don't get it. Last time, you guys rode in the same cab to the gold medal game, and this time," Sharpy pauses to wiggle the envelope in front of Kaner's face, "you can't even meet up with him long enough to give him a letter?"
Author:AlexSmith  Fic  HockeyRPF  PatrickKane/JonathanToews  Romance  Fluff  Schmoop  Crack  Humour  WordCount:0-2k  Source 
march 2014 by Brandysnaps
Dude, Where's the Stanley Cup?! [Svmadelyn]
Johnny lands in Saskatoon at noon, and is shocked to see Kaner hovering furtively at Johnny's gate exit. He's wearing a baggy gray hoodie and obnoxiously huge sunglasses and he doesn't look like he's showered in at least three days.

Johnny is somehow still relieved to see him.
Author:Svmadelyn  Fic  HockeyRPF  PatrickKane/JonathanToews  General  Romance  Fluff  Humour  Crack  Ensemble  WordCount:10-20k  Source 
march 2014 by Brandysnaps
Ten for Kaner [Beyondtheclouds]
“So just a thought, how does one go about wooing Patrick Kane?” Tyler tries to ask Marchy casually during one of their scheduled weekly Skype dates.

Marchy snorts, a reaction that seems to be of the norm when Tyler brings Kaner up and Tyler tries not to scowl as his friend.

“Dude, I’m not helping you score,” Marchy says. “He’s not even that hot. Not worth getting on Toews’ blacklist of dumbasses who think they can touch Kane and get away with it.”
Author:Beyondtheclouds  Fic  HockeyRPF  PatrickKane/JonathanToews  Humour  Crack  Short  Fluff  PatrickKane/TylerSeguin  WordCount:0-2k  Source 
march 2014 by Brandysnaps
Untitled [Dontsleepsharks]
Which kind of doesn’t explain when Kane puts his hand high on Phil’s thigh - hip, actually - and says something about Phil’s lower body power and the spirit of international competition and the League’s eastern bias means that Phil can totally get off first.

"Uh, what?" Phil says.
Author:Dontsleepsharks  Fic  HockeyRPF  PhilKessel/PatrickKane  Short  Smut  Humour  Crack  WordCount:0-2k  Tumblr 
march 2014 by Brandysnaps
If You Like It, Then You Should've Put A Ring On It [Stepquietly]
Tazer haunts Patrick through his TV and keeps threatening to kill him. And Kaner makes jokes about how Tazer lives at the bottom of a well and still uses a VCR. (The Ring AU crack!fic)
Author:Stepquietly  Fic  HockeyRPF  PatrickKane/JonathanToews  Humour  AU  Crack  Horror  <3  Short  WordCount:2-5k  Source 
march 2014 by Brandysnaps
You Give Love A Bad Name [Pyrodynamo]
Jonny’s made a few bad decisions in his life, but developing a crush on the guy who sells him vibrating dildos is by far his worst.
Author:Pyrodynamo  Fic  HockeyRPF  PatrickKane/JonathanToews  AU  Romance  Humour  Crack  Fluff  WordCount:2-5k  Source 
march 2014 by Brandysnaps
Three Things Patrick Kane Is No Longer Allowed To Do On A Roadtrip (Even If It Helps The Team Win) [Antumbral]
There is a list. It lives on the luggage tag of Patrick Kane's suitcase, so he'll see it every time the team travels. The capital letters across the top of the list read: PATRICK, DON'T DO THIS.
Author:Antumbral  Fic  HockeyRPF  Gen  Humour  Crack  <3  5_Things  WordCount:2-5k  Source 
march 2014 by Brandysnaps
88 Dates [Troubles]
He promised Oshie he would make the fucking audition tape, so he did. And against all fucking odds, he got a callback from a woman who sounded like even she couldn’t believe she was making the call. Because that’s Jonny’s life now.

or, a Bachelor AU, where film star Patrick Kane is going on 88 Dates and Jonny goes on more than a few of them.
Author:Troubles  Fic  HockeyRPF  PatrickKane/JonathanToews  AU  Romance  Crack  Humour  Fluff  WordCount:10-20k  Source 
february 2014 by Brandysnaps
Somewhere Only We Know [Jezziejay]
Kaner kicks off his twenty-eighth birthday party with an exponential crisis.

Jonny frowns at him. “You’re having a crisis of ever-more-rapidly-increasing numbers?”
Author:Jezziejay  Fic  HockeyRPF  PatrickKane/JonathanToews  Romance  Schmoop  Humour  Crack  WordCount:20-40k  Source 
february 2014 by Brandysnaps
We Should Get Jerseys ('Cause We Make a Good Team) [Svmadelyn]
Patrick Sharp wants his teammates to be happy. He thinks the best way to make this happen is to give Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews a little shove toward each other so that they can begin to express their eternal love, as opposed to only orbiting each other in an endless cycle of pining and bromance. Sharp’s wife, Abby, is perfect and supports his quest by helping his efforts to make Jonathan jealous in order to force his hand. By implying that she would like to bring Patrick Kane in for some threeway action.
Author:Svmadelyn  Fic  HockeyRPF  PatrickKane/JonathanToews  Humour  Crack  Romance  WordCount:10-20k  Source 
january 2014 by Brandysnaps
I'll Be The Rock Star If You'll Be The Scientist [Nerdwegian]
"Wait, wait, wait! Sir, are you telling me the dinosaur escaped our plane in your flying car?"
Author:Nerdwegian  Fic  AgentsofShield  TheAvengers  Crack  Humour  Skye/Simmons  Clint/Coulson  WordCount:10-20k  Source 
january 2014 by Brandysnaps
Operational Parameters [Esteefee, Mischief5]
Harold has lost control of his assets. A few ground rules need to be established.
Author:Mischief5  Author:Estefee  Fic  PersonOfInterest  Finch/Reese  Romance  Humour  Crack  WordCount:0-2k  Source 
december 2013 by Brandysnaps
E.L.F. Division [Kryptaria]
James Bond doesn't do Christmas. Finally, the North Pole sends in a specialist to fix the situation.
Author:Kryptaria  Fic  JamesBond  Bond/Q  AU  Crack  Fluff  Romance  Trope:Christmas  WordCount:2-5k  Source 
december 2013 by Brandysnaps
Thumpety Thump Thump [Pollyrepeat]
Clint is on a desperate mission to commandeer everyone's freezer space. Phil is in desperate need of a freezer.
Author:Pollyrepeat  Fic  TheAvengers  Clint/Coulson  Romance  Humour  Crack  Short  Angst  <3  Trope:AnimalTransformation  WordCount:0-2k  Source 
december 2013 by Brandysnaps
Open Enrollment [Kathar]
There's nothing particularly funny about sex pollen," Jemma said, although there really, really was. "It took out an entire base in Cuzco, back in '05. Or so I'm told."

Because SHIELD’s HR department is really alarmingly thorough, as Skye is about to find out.
Author:Kathar  Fic  AgentsofShield  Humour  Crack  Gen  WordCount:2-5k  Source 
december 2013 by Brandysnaps
The Mating Dance of Wolf and Fox [Epithalamium, TheCatOnTheMoon]
In which Moneypenny despairs of her boys, no one in MI6 is the least bit sane, Bond complains to HR about MI6's workplace policies, Q insists that he is not a fainting maiden, and he might have to sleep with 007.

Strictly for professional purposes, of course.
Author:Epithalamium  Fic  JamesBond  Bond/Q  Author:TheCatOnTheMoon  Humour  Romance  Crack  Long  Schmoop  Angst  WordCount:20-40k  Source 
october 2013 by Brandysnaps
Think Well, Love Well, Sleep Well [Zarabithia]
Good friends will be happy for you when you get laid, but great friends will run out and buy you supplies when you and your partner are getting low so you don't have to stop what you're doing. Other friends may just be horrified that they walked in on some surprise kitchen sex.

Or, the one in which Clint and Bucky are ultimately rewarded for being such good friends to Natasha and Steve, and the other Avengers may be traumatized.
Author:Zarabithia  Fic  TheAvengers  Steve/Natasha  Clint/Bucky  Romance  Humour  Fluff  Crack  Smut  WordCount:2-5k  Source 
october 2013 by Brandysnaps
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