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The truth about the Tiger Mother's family
Still, for those wishing to be rich and academically successful, the book defines three essential traits that contribute to drive, all passed down at least partly through the family. The first is a superiority complex, the sense that your particular group is exceptional. This belief, "can be religious", they write, "as in the case of Mormons. It can be rooted in a story about the magnificence of your people's history and civilisation, as in the case of Chinese or Persians." They're aware how dangerous this quality can be – ambivalence surrounds all the triple-package qualities. "Group superiority is the stuff of racism, colonialism, imperialism, Nazism," they continue. "Yet every one of America's extremely successful groups fosters a belief in its own superiority."

The second essential quality – insecurity – might seem contradictory, but apparently provides the grit in the oyster. "Everyone is probably insecure in one way or another," they write, "but some groups are more prone to it than others. To be an immigrant is almost by definition to be insecure." They note that the idea of insecurity as a lever of success is anathema in western society, and that, "the greatest anathema of all would be parents working to instil insecurity in their children. Yet insecurity runs deep in every one of America's most successful groups, and these groups not only suffer from insecurity; they tend, consciously or unconsciously, to promote it."
Finally, the third quality is impulse control, which they define as the ability to resist temptation. "Against the background of a relatively permissive America," they write, "some groups decidedly place greater emphasis on impulse control than others." They write that, while there is now a tendency to romanticise childhood, to see it as a time, ideally, of unfettered happiness, "every one of America's most successful groups takes a very different view of childhood and of impulse control in general, inculcating habits of discipline from an early age – at least they did so when they were on the rise."
books.to.read  personal  parenthood 
13 days ago by ondrejr
Every single emotion
Quote: "If you bite on everything they throw at you, they will grind you down. You have to ignore a certain amount of stuff. The thing I keep saying to them lately is: “I have to love you, and I have the right to ignore you.” When my kids ask what I want for my birthday or Christmas or whatever, I use the same answer my father did: “Peace and quiet.”"
children  life  parenthood 
4 weeks ago by ajohnson1200
Every single emotion
They’re velociraptors, testing your fences for weakness.
parenthood 
5 weeks ago by francesblo
Twitter
Disfrutando del regalo mas hermoso que nos dio la vida.😍😘👶
Sunset  BabyBoy  BitcoinBaby  Parenthood  from twitter_favs
6 weeks ago by randyhilarski

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