fandom:old_spice_man   7

Hannibal As Old Spice Guy by goldenusagi
“Hello, Will. Look at yourself, now back to me, now back at yourself, now back to me. Sadly, you’re not me, but if you stopped ignoring your urges and cultivated them like the inspirations they are, you could kill like you’re me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a murder house with the killer you could kill like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s Abigail’s ear. Look again, the ear is now a plate of veal. Anything is possible when you give voice to the unmentionable. You’re in jail.”
fanfiction  fandom:Hannibal(TV)  fandom:Old_Spice_Man  fusion  crossover  humor  parody  author:goldenusagi  wc:000001-000500 
june 2013 by jenna_marianne
Gamol-léac by Castiron (G)
After Beowulf's death, the men of Geatland meet a strange and powerful warrior. (482 words)
Up then came / a worthy warrior,
Oak-tall, oak-strong / shorn-locked, short-shaven,
Dark as leather / dyed in walnut;
Clad in canvas / white as moonlight.
Up he strode / fearless, noble,
where Geatlings gathered. / Scorning arms
He spoke these words: / "Look upon me.
Now upon yourselves. / Again upon me.
You are not me." / Deep his voice
Like thunder's cry / or breath of God.
Woe to the warriors! / How they trembled!
Then again spoke / the white-garbed warrior:
"Nor have your coats / the smell of me,
For rather smell you / of maidens' nosegays
Or worse, of dead fish / silver fish hand-caught."
fanfiction  fandom:Old_Spice_Man  fandom:Beowulf  crossover  crack  humor  yuletide  rating:g  wc:000001-000500  author:Castiron  Favorites  from delicious
december 2010 by jenna_marianne
Meta Yuletide Fic (The Fic You Wish Your Fic Smelled Like) by kristin / attempt_unique (G)
"Why hello, Yuletide reader. Why don't you sit down for a bit? Get comfortable, because when you click my link you will be reading a work of such magnificence that you won't be able to look away, even if a crew of zombies breaks through your window and bites your neck." (2,367 words)
fanfiction  meta  meta!fic  yuletide  fandom:Old_Spice_Man  humor  crack  author:kristin  rating:g  wc:001001-005000 
december 2010 by jenna_marianne
untitled fills by purpletune & mistrusts (G)
Two short fills for the prompt: HELLO LADIES. ARTHUR BUYS SOME OLD SPICE FOR EAMES. --
"Old Spice, Arthur. I thought you'd like some." Eames hands the plastic cylinder to Arthur and mimes putting on deodorant. Arthur nods, and takes off the red lid doubtfully. He begins to inhale but stops when he sees a bright, shining light come from in front of him. Eames' suit has turned into diamonds, he's wearing a gold crown, and is riding a grizzly bear. He chuckles, and beckons Arthur to join him.
fanfiction  fandom:Inception  fandom:Old_Spice_Man  crossover  crack  kinkmeme  Pairing:Arthur/Eames  author:purpletune  author:mistrusts  rating:g  wc:? 
december 2010 by jenna_marianne
I COULDN'T HELP IT, OK? by anonymous (PG)
Eames' ex-boyfriend shows up at a's the Old Spice Guy. He keeps trying to win Eames back and Arthur is all "WTF?" and everyone is swooning over the OSG, except for Arthur and Eames. (297 words) -- "Look down, back up. Where are you? You're in a dingy warehouse, working for peanuts and running from the law. But if your man had a real job, like me, he could afford to take you out. Sadly, your man isn't me. Sad for him--I am me. What's in your hand?"
"Is this a dream?" Ariadne asks nervously. Cobb squints at Isaiah's rippling muscles.
"It's a fucking nightmare," Arthur snarls.
"I'm on a horse," Isaiah says. And he is.
fanfiction  fandom:Inception  fandom:Old_Spice_Man  crossover  crack  humor  kinkmeme  Pairing:Arthur/Eames  author:anonymous  rating:pg  wc:000001-000500 
december 2010 by jenna_marianne
I'm on a horse by anonymous (PG-13)
“Hello,” the projection says. He has very nice teeth.

Ariadne squeals before clapping her hands over her mouth, jittering with happiness. Arthur closes his eyes and looks very much like he wants to eat a bullet, jump into the water and find himself a shark to eat his head.

“Arthur,” Ariadne says, hushed, “are we on a boat with the man your man could smell like?”

“I could smell like anything you like, pet,” Eames interjects. (1,388 words) [Written for the prompt: Arthur. ON A HORSE. WITH GUNS.]
fanfiction  fandom:Inception  fandom:Old_Spice_Man  gen  crack  projections  kinkmeme  author:anonymous  rating:pg-13  wc:001001-005000 
september 2010 by jenna_marianne
untitled oldspice_kinkmeme fic by anonymous
"Hello, Judith Butler. Allow me to scrub your back. So you and Feminist Hulk are saying that my devotion to Old Spice body wash might be part of a larger regulative discourse to maintain an essential ontological gender?"
"That's correct, Old Spice Man."
"I understand. Allow me to bake you a cake, Feminist Hulk and Judith Butler, while we discuss intersectionality and the beauty of giant green muscles." (Old Spice Guy/Feminist Hulk/Judith Butler) (253 words)
fanfiction  meta!fic  fandom:Old_Spice_Man  fandom:Incredible_Hulk  crossover  crack  gender  feminism  kinkmeme  author:anonymous  wc:000001-000500  Favorites 
august 2010 by jenna_marianne

related tags

author:anonymous  author:castiron  author:goldenusagi  author:kristin  author:mistrusts  author:purpletune  crack  crossover  fandom:beowulf  fandom:hannibal(tv)  fandom:inception  fandom:incredible_hulk  fanfiction  favorites  feminism  fusion  gen  gender  humor  kinkmeme  meta!fic  meta  pairing:arthur/eames  parody  projections  rating:g  rating:pg-13  rating:pg  wc:?  wc:000001-000500  wc:001001-005000  yuletide 

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