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What's for dinner? | MetaFilter
And I laughed because when I was in my 20s, I believed that you were supposed to laugh when someone hurt your feelings.

So much of my life has been spent unlearning this-- thankfully, not within a marriage, but still. And so much of my current struggle is that the people who taught me this fact are unhappy that I have unlearned it, and resent the unlearning, and do not wish to change just because I have.

Whenever big name comedians (or politicians) whine about how "sensitive" audiences and people are now, and sneer about trigger warnings and snowflakes, I think something similar-- "I shouldn't have to laugh when you tell me I'm not really a person to you."
feminism  discourse 
12 days ago by shaunkoh
Opinion | Knowledge, Ignorance and Climate Change - The New York Times
One way to counter the effects of skepticism is to stop talking about “knowledge” and switch to talking about probabilities. Instead of saying that you don’t know some claim, try to estimate the probability that it is true. As hedge fund managers, economists, policy researchers, doctors and bookmakers have long been aware, the way to make decisions while managing risk is through probabilities. Once we switch to this perspective, claims to “not know,” like those made by Trump, lose their force and we are pushed to think more carefully about the existing data and engage in cost-benefit analyses.
climate  change  discourse  nytimes  rhetoric 
13 days ago by betajames
lydy | The Rules: A Memo for Every Man in My Life
"I have spent my entire life being judged by a set of shifting rules. I have spent my entire life being lied to about what those rules were. If I talk too softly, no one listens, but if I speak more loudly, I am bitchy and dismissed. If I am clear and logical, I am mocked for inadequately mimicking maleness, but if I am emotional, I am mocked for being too feminine and not worth paying attention to. There is no level of dress that does not open me up to either being a prude or a slut. ... When we talk about harassment, safety, and safe spaces, stop asking me for rules. You never gave me any, and so I have none to give you. All I can offer you is this shifting, difficult, dangerous, ambiguous space that I live in. If you want to be an ally, if, indeed, you want to be my friend, you must learn to inhabit this uncomfortable space with me. You must accept that there aren't clear rules where you can know that you are right. ... I invite you to be with me in my discomfort, my uncertainty, my highly contingent and contextual life. I invite you to talk with me, and help me navigate these shifting sands of changing expectations. But I also suggest that you pay attention, because I have lived here my entire life, and near as I can tell, this is a landscape entirely new to you."
20 days ago by configures

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