zhena + ref:first-time   405

Blooded Crown by astolat
Witcher, Geralt/Emhyr. Emhyr seduces Geralt by convincing him there's a conspiracy to off Ciri. Which unfortunately turns out to be true. Geralt joins the counterplot. // 24K, Geralt POV. Machiavellian tropy political plotting for the whole family ... plus a fair amount of murder and smut.
fanfic  Witcher  slash  pair:Geralt/Emhyr  ref:postcanon  ref:politics  ref:pretendcouple  ref:sextoys  ref:conspiracy  ref:ouch  ref:first-time  ref:established  ref:domestic  ref:kidfic  ref:angst  ref:families  au:astolat  fandom:Witcher 
7 days ago by zhena
A Year in Toussaint by astolat
Witcher, Geralt/Emhyr. "Geralt had no damn idea what to do with a vineyard when Anna Henrietta gave him Corvo Bianco, but he figured it couldn’t be that bad." // 30.7K, Geralt POV. Geralt is a typically terrible retiree and reluctantly successful to boot until ex-emperor Emhyr moves in next door. Life gets more exciting because Emhyr is just as bored and open to stirring shit up. This is the one where they dig up the cellars, dig up a graveyard, dig up a river, then decide they dig each other, 'cos why not? Anyhoo, a long, plotty, kind of funny weird sort of curtain fic really. I've read all these a couple of times, and dunno why I didn't bookmark them.
fanfic  Witcher  slash  pair:Geralt/Emhyr  ref:postcanon  ref:plot  ref:ghosts  ref:curse  ref:humor  ref:first-time  ref:domestic  ref:curtainfic  au:astolat  fandom:Witcher 
7 days ago by zhena
The Matter of the Firebird by Not_You
Jeeves & Wooster, Bertie/Jeeves. "A Jeevesian retelling of The Firebird." Wherein Bertie, a well-intentioned yet frequently ineffectual prince, is tasked by Queen Dahlia with the dashed knotty quest of recovering a certain glowing bird of apple-thieving habit, and he is first set upon then aided in said d.k.q. by a large lupine companion of wild nature but good sense. // 7.5K. This is fun! With unexpected mild smut. :D
fanfic  Jeeves-and-Wooster  slash  pair:Jeeves/Wooster  ref:first-time  ref:humor  ref:pastiche  ref:fairytale  ref:animal-transform  ref:curse  ref:magic  ref:royalty  via:fancake  au:Not_You  fandom:PGWodehouse 
16 days ago by zhena
Smiles Were Made, Dear, for People Like Us by indigostohelit
The Sting, Henry/Johnny. "Johnny and Henry run a new twist on a pair of old scams. Along the way, they share a bed, write love letters, consider marriage, and pretend to be deposed Russian aristocrats. Anything for the con, right?" // 19K, Johnny POV. A nicely convoluted con plot, with some eventual smut. Some issues like all the dollar amounts being more modern than '30s, a beat-down has no apparent consequences, but otherwise fun enough. The idea of them wooing each other via the con's letter exchange was pretty inventive.
fanfic  TheSting  slash  pair:HenryGondorff/JohnnyHooker  yuletide  yuletide2019  ref:casefic  ref:pining  ref:bedsharing  ref:H/C  ref:first-time  au:indigostohelit  fandom:TheSting 
16 days ago by zhena
The Breath at Your Shoulder by Dorinda
The Sting, Henry/Johnny. Johnny won't discuss his persistent nightmares, but they're becoming a wedge issue over time. // 2.7K. Henry POV. Short, quiet story about coming to terms with a particular brand of guilt.
fanfic  TheSting  slash  pair:HenryGondorff/JohnnyHooker  yuletide  yuletide2019  ref:crime  ref:miscommunication  ref:H/C  ref:PTSD  ref:first-time  au:Dorinda  fandom:TheSting 
16 days ago by zhena
Howl by quackers
Buzzfeed Unsolved, Ryan/Shane. "Shane had been successfully keeping his full moon escapades a secret for years. In retrospect, he probably shouldn't have agreed to do a show with a guy that believed in the supernatural." // 43K. Shane POV. So Shane's a werewolf with one really bad night per month (with a lot of failed relationships because he tends to get hairy when excited). Ryan kinda accidentally walks in on that. And it's all very readable. (Bonus: smut sans the usual knotting digressions.)
fanfic  BuzzfeedUnsolved  slash  pair:RyanBergara/ShaneMadej  AU  ref:curse  ref:werewolf  ref:animal-transform  ref:pining  ref:UST  ref:first-time  ref:angst  ref:H/C  au:quackers  fandom:Buzzfeed 
17 days ago by zhena
Third Time's A Charm by quackers
Buzzfeed Unsolved, Ryan/Shane. "Shane can't help but fall for the hot young lifeguard that stars in his Baywatch inspired daydreams, but he has a secret that no one can know. Not even Ryan. Once is chance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is fate." // 31.8K. So Shane's a water horse from Chicago with an unfortunate inclination to impulsively save people, which oddly enough leads him to cross paths with Ryan, lifeguard, surfer, and popcorn aficionado. Long, pretty satisfying creature AU.
fanfic  BuzzfeedUnsolved  slash  pair:RyanBergara/ShaneMadej  AU  ref:animal-transform  ref:cryptid  ref:first-time  ref:meet-cute  ref:angst  ref:fantasy  ref:D/s  au:quackers  fandom:Buzzfeed 
17 days ago by zhena
Your Walls Are Painted Green, Our Vines Have Intertwined by only90sbirdsremember
Pet Shop of Horrors, Leon/OMPlants, Leon/D. Leon wanders the back halls while the Count's away. In the sole unlocked room, he walks into a sauna -- and the vines of a leafy welcoming committee. // 8K. Woah. This is pure pornography. Impressive. Sex pollen (literal), graphic plant gangbang followed by bathtub sex.

Fic Tags: Sex pollen, Oral sex, Anal sex, Double penetration, Dubious consent, Drugged sex, Plant sex, Fuckplant-on-human gangbang, Come inflation, Bathtub sex, Canon-typical hallucinations. I'd also add: Tentacles, Submission, Noncon
fanfic  Petshop-of-Horrors  slash  pair:LeonOrcot/CountD  ref:sexpollen  ref:tentacles  ref:noncon  ref:dubcon  ref:drugs  ref:interspecies  ref:xeno  ref:bondage  ref:gangbang  ref:dp  ref:first-time  via:exclamations  au:only90sbirdsremember  fandom:PetshopOfHorrors 
22 days ago by zhena
Antidisestablishmentarianism by throughadoor
Macdonald Hall, Bruno/Boots. "'You're proposing the disestablishment of our relationship and I'm, like … anti that. I'm opposed to that. Very opposed. Emphatically opposed.'" // 13K. Five years after graduation, and after one night of too much sangria with the gang, Boots wakes up with the hangover from hell and a very naked -- and equally hungover -- Bruno in his bed. A pretty satisfactory working out of the usual theme. ^_^
fanfic  Macdonald-Hall  slash  pair:BrunoWalton/BootsONeil  yuletide  yuletide2019  ref:postcanon  ref:unrequited  ref:pining  ref:amnesia  ref:first-time  au:throughadoor  fandom:MiscYA 
24 days ago by zhena
All That Had Once Been Embers by Jay Tryfanstone (tryfanstone)
Persuasion, Anne/Fredrick. A missing scene at Lyme: Fredrick happens on a meadow plant that has alighted his ardor for one object only. // 3.5K. Austen sex pollen fic! Patiche porn hee. But it's also sweet and filled with feelings because naturally, despite the hard-on, his strongest impulse is to woo anew.
fanfic  Austen  Persuation  het  pair:AnneElliot/FrederickWentworth  ref:sexpollen  ref:pastiche  ref:first-time  au:tryfanstone  fandom:Austen 
october 2019 by zhena
Through Every Door by darlingred1
Good Omens, Crowley/Aziraphale. "After thwarting the end of the world, Aziraphale begins to avoid Crowley, and Crowley accidentally awakens his own repressed lust." // 15K, Crowley POV. Mainly solo fantasy wanking porn, but eventually they sort themselves out. PWP with a vengeance.
fanfic  GoodOmens  slash  pair:Aziraphale/Crowley  ref:PWP  ref:pining  ref:miscommunication  ref:first-time  via:shadowkeeper  au:darlingred1  fandom:GoodOmens 
august 2019 by zhena
Want You in My Room by beethechange
Buzzfeed Unsolved, Shane/Ryan, college AU. During his frat's first kegger of the quarter, Ryan spots some rando bro holding up a wall across the room and boom, plans to "climb that dude like a tree." Unfortunately his flirting game ("This house is super haunted!") is wasted on That Dude, who seems the opposite of interested. Fate intervenes: they're signed up for the same history course. // 13K, Ryan POV. Fun, fun jock/nerd AU, with various Buzzfeeders as college peeps, and Ryan being Ryan in any setting.
"So I was thinking, what about a short-form video that was sort of, like, poking fun of some crazy history story? I was thinking a panel of a few people to talk through the story, and maybe some cool graphics or animations.”
“How short form?”
“Fifteen, maybe twenty minutes? Something we can stick on YouTube so we won’t have to pay for a platform or distribution, and that we can make by December without driving ourselves crazy. History’s basically just storytelling, so the trick is to choose a story that’s inherently sort of bugfuck insane.”
“Like President Ben Franklin’s weird sex cult thing.”
“You know about—-oh, hang on,” Shane leans forward in his chair, tenting his fingers together like he’s about to interrogate Ryan. His eyes are beseeching. “Ryan. Ryan, please tell me you know Ben Franklin wasn’t a president.”
“Then why’s he on the hundred dollar bill? Why’s it all about the Benjamins, huh, Shane? See, I know things.”
fanfic  BuzzfeedUnsolved  slash  pair:RyanBergara/ShaneMadej  AU  ref:college  ref:humor  ref:pining  ref:opposites  ref:bffs-to-lovers  ref:first-time  au:beethechange  fandom:Buzzfeed 
august 2019 by zhena
Anywhere You Want to Go by Aria
Good Omens, Crowley/Aziraphale. Crowley persuades Aziraphale that a holiday in a cottage away from London, near the beach is now called for and gets no argument. // 10K. Aziraphale POV. Comfy, slow progression of napping to picnicking to handholding to kissing ... to smut. Read this before and wasn't impressed by the lack of anything in particular happening, but belatedly I'm recalling that sometimes this is precisely what I want from fanfic.
fanfic  GoodOmens  slash  pair:Aziraphale/Crowley  ref:postcanon  ref:cottage  ref:molasses  ref:domestic  ref:curtainfic  ref:first-time  au:aria  fandom:GoodOmens 
july 2019 by zhena
But I Haven't Thought of You Lately at All by beethechange
Buzzfeed Unsolved, Ryan/Shane. "In 2026, seven years after the end of Buzzfeed Unsolved, a guy walks into a bar." // 10K. Shane POV. Both have long since moved on to other jobs when they accidentally meet again in a bar and neither is in a relationship right now, so ... drunk and horny in New Orleans.
fanfic  BuzzfeedUnsolved  slash  pair:RyanBergara/ShaneMadej  ref:postcanon  ref:first-time  ref:pining  au:beethechange  fandom:Buzzfeed 
july 2019 by zhena
Begin the Begin, Over and Over by beethechange
Buzzfeed Unsolved, Ryan/Shane. "Shane only agrees to be handcuffed to Ryan for a video because he can put up with anything for twenty-four hours. That’s the funny thing about time loops, though—they don’t always adhere to the parameters set by clickbait videos." // 33K. In this one, Shane's puddling along in the office while Ryan's off independent contracting until he's hauled in to participate in one of those "handcuffed together" videos. At which point, for Shane, time begins looping a la Groundhog's Day. Fic skips past the utter tedium of most fics with this trope (it doesn't get bogged down in repetitive details) and manages to stay an interesting pine-a-thon.
fanfic  BuzzfeedUnsolved  slash  pair:RyanBergara/ShaneMadej  AU  ref:postcanon  ref:angst  ref:groundhogday  ref:timetravel  ref:pining  ref:oblivious  ref:handcuffs  ref:amnesia  ref:fixit  ref:first-time  au:beethechange  fandom:Buzzfeed 
july 2019 by zhena
The Weight of Well Tailored Clothes by reserve
Good Omens, Aziraphale/Crowley. "After the crêpes, Crowley helps Aziraphale get his clothing back. Then he helps a bit more." // 5K. Gratitude and rimming and amazingly pornographic.
fanfic  GoodOmens  slash  pair:Aziraphale/Crowley  ref:precanon  ref:historical  ref:first-time  ref:PWP  via:zimaya  au:reserve  fandom:GoodOmens  via:elise.grey 
july 2019 by zhena
It's Not The End Of The World, Dear by jessthereckless
Good Omens, Crowley/Aziraphale. "After averting the apocalypse, Crowley and Aziraphale re-examine their relationship and reach the obvious conclusion: they're retired, they're in love and they're damn well going to enjoy it. Providing, of course, that they can stay out of trouble." // 20.7K total.

* "Lie Back and Think of Dinner," https://archiveofourown.org/works/19136509 Even though Crowley has been pining away industriously for thousands of years, he doesn't immediately twig onto Oxfordshire's sudden spurt of Foretean mysteries and fracking side effects as attempts to lure him into a picnic. // 11K. Fun, bantery, and ultimately a bit porny.

* "Still My Heart Has Wings," https://archiveofourown.org/works/19280641 "The story of how an angel and demon somehow set up home together." // 10K, sequel to previous. Aziraphale gets to try Many Naughty Things, Crowley gets to sort out his own role in the relationship -- and confront the whole idea of retirement.
Aziraphale looked like he very much wanted to swear. “This was you, wasn’t it?” he said. “IKEA instructions?”
Crowley grinned. He always liked to take credit for bad work.
“I knew it,” said Aziraphale. “Driving people slowly insane with affordable Swedish furniture. Of course it had to be you.”
“Look, you were the one who said I should get a hobby.”
fanfic  GoodOmens  slash  pair:Aziraphale/Crowley  ref:postcanon  ref:humor  ref:courting  ref:pining  ref:oblivious  ref:BFFs-to-lovers  ref:banter  ref:first-time  ref:xeno  ref:domestic  ref:curtainfic  ref:best-of-rec  via:shadowkeeper  au:jessthereckless  fandom:GoodOmens 
july 2019 by zhena
By Definition by idiopathicsmile
Good Omens, Crowley/Aziraphale. Aziraphale decides the time is right to make a move on Crowley. Who's confused but DTF. // 3K, Aziraphale POV all. One of those pedantic asexuality fics, plus slightly D/s overtones. Usually I avoid fics like this, but the rest of it is sufficiently amusing.

* "Long-Term," https://archiveofourown.org/works/19703515 Dr. Blackwell meets with an odd couple who're planning an October wedding. // 1.7K, Outsider POV, sequel to previous fic. Sweet fic, and better that the one it's a sequel for, imho.
fanfic  GoodOmens  slash  pair:Aziraphale/Crowley  ref:postcanon  ref:first-time  ref:D/s  ref:asexuality  ref:wedding  ref:humor  au:idiopathicsmile  fandom:GoodOmens 
july 2019 by zhena
Mind, Body, and Soul by BlueMinuet
Good Omens, Crowley/Aziraphale. "In which Crowley’s body — upon trying to contain both an angel and a demon within it — experiences an explosion of a sort. Just not the kind Aziraphale predicted." // 2K. Crowley POV, fork AU where Aziraphale goes for the 'possess the demon' option instead of lighting out to look for a suitable human sort.
fanfic  GoodOmens  slash  pair:Aziraphale/Crowley  ref:fork  ref:first-time  ref:publicsex  ref:humor  ref:possession  via:as_lld_again  au:blueminuet  fandom:GoodOmens 
july 2019 by zhena
When in Rome by reserve
Good Omens, Crowley/Aziraphale. "'Well.' Crowley stood and stretched, looking rather more serpentine than usual. 'See you at the orgy then. I’ll look for you by the buffet.'" Too many oysters and too much wine later, to his dismay Aziraphale finds he's agreed to a collaboration of sorts... // 3.2K. Aziraphale POV, wherein he inadvertently invents the "Quick! Kiss me!" maneuver. LOL. Excellent fanfic.
fanfic  GoodOmens  slash  pair:Aziraphale/Crowley  ref:historical  ref:precanon  ref:first-time  ref:publicsex  ref:oblivious  ref:humor  ref:angst  via:zimaya  au:reserve  fandom:GoodOmens 
july 2019 by zhena
Not So Blue by pineapplecrushface
Good Omens, Crowley/Aziraphale. "Aziraphale presses his suit. Crowley mostly has a lot of questions." // 5.5K. Crowley POV. Fic in which nothing in particular happens but aftermath hanging out, with Crowley reeking of pine scent and pathetic, but it still manages to be readable. This is the one with the talking swallow, btw.
fanfic  GoodOmens  slash  pair:Aziraphale/Crowley  ref:postcanon  ref:pining  ref:first-time  ref:wallsex  au:pineapplecrushface  fandom:GoodOmens 
july 2019 by zhena
A Street in a Strange World by Giddygeek
Good Omens, Crowley/Azirapale. They clean up melted demon, discuss plant care, and don pajamas. Then Aziraphale's introduced to the concept of sleep, and God decides to have a chat in his subsequent dream -- leading to a solution to their prophecy and mutual problem. // 8K. Huge fan of her popslash back when; TBH, I don't think this is one of her best ones, but its perfectly serviceable.
fanfic  GoodOmens  slash  pair:Aziraphale/Crowley  ref:domestic  ref:bffs-to-lovers  ref:first-time  ref:bodyswap  ref:missing-scene  au:giddygeek  fandom:GoodOmens 
july 2019 by zhena
A Home at the Beginning of the World by stereobone
Good Omens, Crowley/Aziraphale. "'Oh,' Aziraphale says. 'I think Crowley might have moved in with me.'" It starts with a small plant, escalates with a new couch, and after a while... // ~6K. Crowley takes a general expression of affection as a literal invitation, and slowly, slowly moves himself in with Aziraphale, while neglecting to actually tell him that they're living together now. 100% always an entertaining theme.
fanfic  GoodOmens  slash  pair:Aziraphale/Crowley  ref:humor  ref:molasses  ref:first-time  ref:domestic  ref:curtainfic  au:stereobone  fandom:GoodOmens 
july 2019 by zhena
The Sublime Physical Manifestation of Divine Love by Deputychairman
Good Omens, Crowley/Aziraphale. "'Not objecting, just a point of uh, theological interest: is this a temptation? I mean are you tempting *me* here, or is it ... uhm?'" After they've both goten blasted at the Ritz, Aziraphale is DTF -- he just needs to talk Crowley into the idea. // 2.6K, PWP. Pleasant, amusing, and not overly or weirdly technical about the smut.
Aziraphale opened his mouth as if to protest, closed it again, and finally offered: "Well actually now that you mention it I suppose it is. I mean I am, yes. But temptation seems such a loaded word, doesn’t it? I just thought, in for a penny in for a pound – if they’re even watching they already know we’ve been consorting together, so we might as well make the most of it. Consort to our hearts' content, so to speak."
fanfic  GoodOmens  slash  pair:Aziraphale/Crowley  ref:PWP  ref:humor  ref:role-reversal  ref:first-time  via:shadowkeeper  au:deputychairman  fandom:GoodOmens 
july 2019 by zhena
Love Hath Made Thee a Tame Snake by thehoyden
Good Omens, Crowley/Aziraphale. "He was the bloody Serpent of Eden, and he wasn’t going to stand for this kind of flagrant trespassing." Crowley discovers the benefits of hanging about in the bookshop as a very large snake. // 3.5K. This is the one with the Yelp reviews at the bottom (including "Anthony C" approving of the comment by someone who got bit). This is also the one with Aziraphale going spring frolic + genital genderswap. It's a lot, and packed into a small space.
fanfic  GoodOmens  slash  pair:Aziraphale/Crowley  ref:humor  ref:animal-transform  ref:first-time  ref:genderswap  ref:heat  ref:domestic  ref:curtainfic  ref:outsiderPOV  ref:meta  ref:Internet  via:shadowkeeper  au:Hoyden  fandom:GoodOmens 
july 2019 by zhena
Going Native by equestrianstatue
Good Omens, Aziraphale/Crowley. In Terribly Modern And Cutting Edge Rome, in 41 AD, a demon and an angel run into each other in a bar, move on to eating oysters, then discover Questionable Choices Made While Drunk on a Friday Night. // 4.4K. LOL. Third person omniscient pastiche again, lots of fun.
fanfic  GoodOmens  slash  pair:Aziraphale/Crowley  ref:pastiche  ref:historical  ref:humor  ref:first-time  au:equestrianstatue  fandom:GoodOmens 
june 2019 by zhena
Ordinary People (The Anything But Ordinary Remix) by cimorene
Good Omens, Aziraphale/Crowley. "Crowley has started to take a proprietary interest in Aziraphale's bookshop." That is, Crowley has finally decided to make his move and begins by way of interior redecoration. // 14.4K. Charmer. I really loved Daegaer's fic at the time, and I'd no idea cimorene had remixed it. In this variation there's just as much painting, but they're the usual two rather than humans.
fanfic  GoodOmens  slash  pair:Aziraphale/Crowley  ref:pining  ref:courting  ref:curtainfic  ref:molasses  ref:first-time  via:shadowkeeper  au:cimorene  fandom:GoodOmens 
june 2019 by zhena
Fight Like Girls for Our Place at the Table by napricot
Captain America, Sharon/Natasha (Steve/Bucky). "'It sure feels like a demotion. You’re taking me out of the field and out of intel analysis to babysit Captain America.' How Sharon Carter gets her groove back, fucks up some Nazis, and gets the girl, with unasked-for assists from a super soldier couple." // 52K. Sharon POV all. Pretty entertaining, v.v. slo-mo romance for Sharon, who's smitten with Natasha and later comes to think the regard could be mutual. Starts before CA:WS then forks after, so lots of agenting around for the CIA. (I'm kind of enjoying this seeming fandom consensus that none of the movies after that matter.)
via:unicorndust  fanfic  CaptainAmerica  femslash  slash  pair:SharonCarter/NatashaRomanova  pair:SteveRogers/BuckyBarnes  ref:WS  ref:fork  ref:pining  ref:UST  ref:molasses  ref:first-time  ref:courting  ref:spies  ref:yenta  au:napricot  fandom:CaptainAmerica 
may 2019 by zhena
Not Exactly Shakespeare, or The Fine Art of Running Away by tuesday
Naruto, Guy/Kakashi. After Guy discovers that Kakashi really has been reading those books for the plot, he sets himself a new challenge. // 3.5. Here, Guy gets around in a limited way, but Kakashi never has. 'Best buds who put up with each others' weirdness' fics are great for me.
https://tuesdayfic.livejournal.com/5449.html?nojs=1&format=light
fanfic  Naruto  slash  pair:KakashiHatake/GuyMighto  ref:virginity  ref:first-time  ref:bffs-to-lovers  ref:humor  ref:H/C  via:killaria  au:tuesday  au:everysecondtuesday  fandom:Naruto 
may 2019 by zhena
Rice by torch
Naruto, Kakashi/Guy. "Kakashi and Guy are on a mission. The mission isn't quite what they think it is." That is, Kakashi and Guy are sent to investigate a village that has requested an alliance with Konoha, and they sample the local cuisine. // 6.6K. Sex pollen via Torch-sama! :D
fanfic  Naruto  slash  pair:KakashiHatake/GuyMighto  ref:sexpollen  ref:first-time  ref:dubcon  ref:casefic  au:torch  au:flambeau  fandom:Naruto 
may 2019 by zhena
Antifreeze by astolat
Transformers, Megatron/Starscream. "'Starscream, has it ever occurred to you that you’re an idiot?' Megatron said." Starscream's clever trap for Megatron succeeds! Except he's caught in it, too. // 2.3K. Read this one before at some unghodly hour and mentally set it aside for later. OTOH, it's basically "humorous rape; subcategory: just desserts." OTOH, it is funny. So I'm ~conflicted.
fanfic  Transformers  slash  pair:Megatron/Starscream  ref:robots  ref:CanadianShack  ref:huddling-for-warmth  ref:humor  ref:noncon  ref:enemysex  ref:tsuntsun  ref:first-time  via:Harpijka  au:astolat  fandom:Transformers 
april 2019 by zhena
Bind Me Tight by PandaFlower
Naruto, Tobirama Senju/Kagami Uchiha. "In which Kagami gets the upper hand by complete accident and Tobirama would like a divorce, please and thank you." Kagami sets traps around his hidey-hole with whatever comes to hand, but to his dismay snares a rival Senju -- in his bridal rope. // 15.5K. Kagami POV. Hadn't planned to read this as I only vaguely recalled one of the characters. But then I said eh, consulted the wiki, and read it anyway. It turned out to be really entertaining. In this AU, Uchiha clan tradition is bride-napping -- first lasso, next elope. Whoops...
fanfic  Naruto  slash  pair:KagamiUchiha/TobiramaSenju  ref:accidental-marriage  ref:enemyslash  ref:H/C  ref:humor  ref:courting  ref:first-time  via:exclamations  au:pandaflower  fandom:Naruto 
april 2019 by zhena
Victorious by Neery
Transformers, Optimus/Megatron. After Optimus accidentally stumbles over a sex stim recording of Megatron from back in his arena days, Optimus finds his ability to negotiate a peace treaty somewhat compromised. // 4K. Optimus POV. Technically a smutty sequel, but works on its own.
See also "Champion," Astolat, https://archiveofourown.org/works/12867291

* "Victory Lap," https://archiveofourown.org/works/17695067 "Rumble was gonna have to warn Megatron." He's noticed Optimus Prime has been giving Megatron strange looks -- clearly something hinky is afoot. // 1K, Megatron POV. LOL.
fanfic  Transformers  slash  pair:OptimusPrime/Megatron  ref:humor  ref:pining  ref:miscommunication  ref:first-time  ref:sequel  au:neery  fandom:Transformers 
march 2019 by zhena
A Road Leading Home to You by emlof
Naruto, Kakashi/Iruka. Iruka waits at the village gate for Naruto to spirit him off for his ramen reward, which morphs into a reward for Team 7. After Naruto and Sakura have both moved on, these welcome-back restaurant hops are down to just Iruka and Kakashi. // 13K. Kakashi POV. Not an exciting or innovative take, but its pretty readable. The slowest of slow meanders up to a relationship. (No smut.)
fanfic  Naruto  slash  pair:KakashiHatake/IrukaUmino  ref:miscommunication  ref:H/C  ref:molasses  ref:first-time  ref:angst  via:anandarres  au:emlof  fandom:Naruto 
march 2019 by zhena
That First, Initial Feeling by varnes
Buzzfeed Unsolved, Ryan/Shane, AU. Shane mistakes a crystals shop for a sex shop, and is offended by the whole idea of a crystals shop while finding himself intrigued by the biceps of its hippie owner. Eventually this leads to them doing a Buzzfeed pro/con show about woo-woo New Age/alternative stuff while not admitting they're attracted to each other. // 21K, alternating POV. The same general setup only with Ryan as a contractor and Shane as an employee in search of a recurring series. It's mildly amusing, complete with an onsen episode.
fanfic  BuzzfeedUnsolved  slash  pair:RyanBergara/ShaneMadej  AU  ref:humor  ref:angst  ref:banter  ref:pining  ref:bedsharing  ref:first-time  au:varnes  fandom:Buzzfeed 
march 2019 by zhena
Heartbeat by quackers
Buzzfeed Unsolved, Ryan/Shane, AU. "So the guy Ryan sits next to at work is a vampire. That's no big deal, right?" The other intern assigned the desk next to Ryan's is an extremely tall vampire, the only one in their office and first one Ryan's ever met. He gradually gets to know Shane better and becomes more and more intrigued by and concerned about the well-being of the good-natured if periodically morose dude who's generally up for being victimized in BF food and ghost investigation videos. // 66K. Ryan POV. A verrry slow-build relationship fic that works out its own mythology. Eventually it does get around to sexy tiems (featuring blood, natch). Good read.
For something that would prove to be one of the biggest turning points of his life, it was an oddly simple exchange.
“Hey, Shane,” he said, slipping his headphones off one ear.
Shane glanced over, taking his own headphones off. “What’s up?”
“You want to do Unsolved with me? Brent is leaving.”
“Yeah, sure,” Shane said without hesitation, giving an easy shrug.
“It might be a time commitment if it takes off,” Ryan warned. He thought about suggesting that Shane could just do a couple of episodes to give Ryan the time to keep looking for someone more permanent, but Shane was already bringing up his Google calendar.
“Looks like I’m pretty clear for a bit.”
Ryan smiled in relief and started clicking on a couple of his episode files. “Cool.”
The headline of an article caught his attention. His smile grew wider.
“How do you feel about exorcisms?”

* "Before I'm Dead," https://archiveofourown.org/works/19359676 "He was not a monster because Ryan was not a monster. It was as simple as that." A series of chapters set after "Heartbeat," as Ryan adjusts -- or does not adjust, as the case may be -- to being a new vampire. // 21K. So much angst, and the epilogue is something of a downer as well.
fanfic  BuzzfeedUnsolved  slash  pair:RyanBergara/ShaneMadej  AU  ref:vampires  ref:fantasy  ref:pining  ref:UST  ref:courting  ref:H/C  ref:molasses  ref:first-time  ref:angst  au:quackers  fandom:Buzzfeed 
february 2019 by zhena
And Our Souls They Play by Tangerine
X-Factor, Julio/Star. "In his senior year of undergrad, Julio Richter just wants to make it through college, so he can live in a nice shack somewhere in the middle of nowhere, alone and away from everyone and their functioning soul-marks. But then he meets Shatterstar, a deeply reluctant incubus, and all his best laid plans crumble to dust." // 40K. With a few exceptions, I dislike soulmark AUs, but this one's presented more as a mystery, with small bits of information about Julio's malfunctioning mark and the system in general doled out over time, which made it slightly more interesting. And, of course, the incubus in question turns out to be even more messed up about life than Julio, so it's a mutual sorting out process. Also with Rahne as the Roommate Who Knits Too Much.
fanfic  X-Factor  slash  pair:Shatterstar/Rictor  AU  ref:soulbond  ref:demons  ref:angst  ref:molasses  ref:UST  ref:first-time  via:sineala  au:Tangerine  fandom:X-Factor 
february 2019 by zhena
You Make the World Seem Bigger by beethechange
Buzzfeed Unsolved, Ryan/Shane. "Ryan and Shane film a Supernatural episode in the Pine Barrens on the elusive Jersey Devil. They don’t manage to find it, but a few months after filming, one definitely finds them. And it’s decided they’d make great adoptive parents." // 40K. So Ryan and Shane together raise a mini-Jersey Devil from egg to toddling while tiptoeing around their own relationship. Not a huge fan of kidfic, and can't believe I read this one all in one go. What is this world coming to? How can this ficcer perfectly wallow in every trope in the book yet can't tell faze and phase apart? So many questions. Anyway, weirdly good, occasionally schoompy fic that I enjoyed muchly and will probably read again sometime. Better make a cryptid tag.
fanfic  BuzzfeedUnsolved  slash  gen  pair:RyanBergara/ShaneMadej  ref:kidfic  ref:families  ref:cryptid  ref:molasses  ref:first-time  ref:yenta  au:beethechange  fandom:Buzzfeed 
february 2019 by zhena
Excessively Clever by astolat
Transformers, Megatron/OptimusPrime. Megatron, Optimus Prime, and assorted Decepticons and Autobots, in the aftermath of another mutually destructive battle, are retrieved and enslaved on a mining world. Swindle is slowly compiling an escape plan; he just has to get all his bots in a row and cooperating. // 18.6K. A self-deprecating, wry, exasperated, sly Swindle POV all, getting two robots who utterly loathe each other to work together. I don't go here, but Ferengi are Ferengi wherever the fandom.

(See also sequel: "Datastream" by Blurble, https://archiveofourown.org/works/17681261)
fanfic  Transformers  slash  pair:OptimusPrime/Megatron  ref:plot  ref:robots  ref:slavery  ref:angst  ref:humor  ref:enemyslash  ref:first-time  ref:voyeurism  ref:yenta  via:elise.grey  au:astolat  fandom:Transformers 
february 2019 by zhena
Strange Stars by Jael (erynlasgalen1949)
LotR, Legolas/Various. "'Gondor has no harlots; Gondor needs no harlots.' But when Gondor needs a harlot, who will Aragorn call? Legolas journeys to Harad on an unusual diplomatic mission. How far will he go in the interests of peace?" // 34.6K. The Men of Gondor are insufficiently elegant, so Aragorn asks Legolas for help. He heads to the Southerner's court as part of a courtesan exchange, hoping to win some diplomatic points for Aragorn. Legolas sincerely believes elves should only fuck their lifemates, and worse, humans are disturbingly kinky, so this job presents a challenge. It's mildly plotty, not very fraught, kinda fun. (Locked fic; import fic, so the tags weren't written by the fic author.)
fanfic  LotR  slash  het  pair:Legolas/OMC  pair:Legolas/OFC  ref:postcanon  ref:undercover  ref:roleplay  ref:virginity  ref:sexworker  ref:first-time  ref:dubcon  au:jael  fandom:LotR 
january 2019 by zhena
The Course of Honour by Avoliot
(Novel) "When Jainan arrived on Iskat to represent his home planet in a diplomatic marriage to Imperial Prince Taam, he was naïve enough to hope the match would work. Taam knew better. Five years later, his confidence shattered, Jainan is released when Taam dies in an accident, only to be faced with another marriage to help salvage his treaty. Jainan understands how the real world works now; but Prince Kiem - the cheerful, scandal-prone darling of the Iskat celebrity magazines - keeps breaking all the rules he's learned." // 118K (29 chapters). Not a fanfic. Long original SF/romance with royalty, arranged marriage, past abusive relationship, slo burn, pining galore, a melange of tropiness, and very readable. A lot of plot points rest on people not telling each other things they need to know so the frustration level gets teeth-gnashingly high at points.

* "And Now a Short Speech," https://archiveofourown.org/works/13080075 "A Transcript of His Highness Prince Kiem’s Speech to Graduating Class Seven Students, Braska Prime School, 36:12:7" // 1.6K. So eventually he does make it to the elementary school. Featuring a lot of "Who would win, Batman or the Terminator?" type questions from the audience...
origific  slash  ref:SF  ref:plot  ref:marriage-of-convenience  ref:first-time  ref:miscommunication  ref:angst  ref:pining  ref:molasses  ref:huddling-for-warmth  ref:PTSD  ref:competence  via:norwich36  au:avoliot  fandom:Original 
january 2019 by zhena
On the Island of Misfit Toys by Slybrarian
Generation Kill/SGA(SG1), Brad/Nate. "Being a story in which Nate attends grad school at Georgetown instead of Harvard, beginning a chain of events wherein he is recruited by Elizabeth Weir for a top secret, hush-hush program in another galaxy. Features social scientists, the once and future queen of life after death, interstellar trade deals, and the genetic benefits of being an inbred hick. Also, Nate eventually gets some." // 68K, Nate POV all, characters from both shows (and some SG1 folks also). This is good times and more or less follows the SGA plotline though most of that occurs off-screen; Nate's in with the social sciences types, who have their own concerns with trade, diplomacy, and cultures. The result reads as a slightly more rational version of SGA. The fic is littered with typos (including missing text and errors that change the meaning of sentences). It's too bad 'cause otherwise this would be pretty excellent. Very readable if you can power through the garbled bits. (Also a bit confused about the author's odd ideas of Nevada, MO -- Cotty College is there.)
fanfic  GenerationKill  SGA  slash  gen  pair:Brad/Nate  AU  ref:xover  ref:fusionfic  ref:plot  ref:UST  ref:ancient-device  ref:first-time  ref:teamfic  au:slybrarian  fandom:GenerationKill  fandom:SGA  via:shadowkeeper 
january 2019 by zhena
Star Quality by who_la_hoop
Harry Potter, Harry/Draco. "Two years after the war, and Harry’s content with his life. OK, so it’s a little annoying that he keeps winning Witch Weekly’s Most Eligible Bachelor award, and he’s really not looking forward to the unveiling of an enormous gold statue of himself, but he loves his friends, and he loves being an Auror. And if he yearns for something more, something he can barely bring himself to think about, well, he’ll probably get over it. No one’s happy all the time, are they?
But then everything changes, and Harry’s thrown into a new and dazzling world he’s not sure he can actually escape from. And as time goes on, he starts to wonder: does he actually want to?" // 119K. So drunken Harry accidentallys himself into an alt-universe in which wizards aren't real, he's a directionless trustfund kid, and Draco is ... uh, Justin Beiber? More or less. It's super long, but also funny and engrossing with a truckload of pining and odd character twists and gay panic. (Background Ron/Hermione.) Good job.
fanfic  HarryPotter  slash  pair:HarryPotter/DracoMalfoy  ref:dimensionalswap  ref:curse  ref:denial  ref:closet  ref:humor  ref:angst  ref:pining  ref:first-time  ref:pricklypair  au:who_la_hoop  fandom:HarryPotter 
january 2019 by zhena
Coming Home by astolat
Transformers, Megatron/Orion. "Megatron went back to Kaon." // 21.4K. So as I understand this, the war is over and Megatron (POV) returns to a deserted, ruined world to wallow in sadness, starts to rebuild it for no real reason, but then a variety of social castoffs begin to show up and help, then he stumbles over something he never could have expected down a mineshaft. I don't go here, but there's sufficient info to figure out what's what and who is who. Starts off as all about the tragedy but eventually does manage a touching HEA.
fanfic  Transformers  slash  pair:OptimusPrime/Megatron  ref:robots  ref:angst  ref:pining  ref:enemyslash  ref:first-time  ref:virginity  via:as_lld_again  au:astolat  fandom:Transformers 
january 2019 by zhena
Secret Rooms of Hogwarts by Attila
Rivers of London/Harry Potter, Peter/Thomas. "When Peter Grant is whisked out of unemployment and into a post as Potions Master at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, he expects the teenagers to be the worst things in the castle. It's a pity Lesley May thinks one of the other new professors might be working for the Faceless Man. And as far as she's concerned, the most likely suspect is Defense expert Thomas Nightingale--gorgeous, talented, and a totally sketchy bastard." // 87K. Peter POV, fusion fic featuring RoL characters and general plot in an HP world/magic/etc. Peter is hired as a last-minute replacement to teach potions while his roommate Leslie, an auror, heads out on an undercover assignment to spy on the Faceless Man. It's pretty readable* and seems well thought out, but it doesn't really have a decided ending per se -- it just sort of meanders to an end, roughly equivalent to just after RoL "Broken Homes." Beverley and the other rivers are entirely off-screen mentions in this one. *Caveats: Judging from writer's belief that "fuck" is the perfect word for all occasions, I'm guessing she's really young. Found it genuinely off-putting in this context and kept weighing the merits of the back-button. Also, if rereading, please remember the sex scene made you want to stab the screen; just skip over it.
fanfic  Rivers-of-London  HarryPotter  slash  AU  ref:fusionfic  ref:xover  ref:plot  ref:pining  ref:UST  ref:first-time  ref:teacher  ref:bad-fucking-language  au:attila  fandom:RiversOfLondon 
january 2019 by zhena
You're My Cherry Pie by novembersmith
Venom, Eddie/Venom. "The first time Eddie suggests they have sex, Venom is, more than anything else, extremely confused." //9K. Far funnier than I'd expected, given all the tentative, fumbling negotiating.
Also of relevance is that, based on its studies of tumblr and reddit, Venom has yet to discover an Earth object that at least one human is unwilling to copulate with. Vegetable, mineral, vehicle. There seems to be no end to what a human is willing to view as a sexual object. Humans will definitely, absolutely be the sluts of the galaxy once they figure out space travel. This is the thesis of Venom’s current visual essay, being presented to its unwilling subject.

"HERE WE SEE ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF A HUMAN ATTAINING SEXUAL RELEASE WITHOUT ANOTHER HUMAN PRESENT," it explains and clicks to the last slide of the powerpoint where it had organized the bulk of its research.
fanfic  Venom  pair:EddieBrock/Venom  yuletide2018  ref:tentacles  ref:D/S  ref:first-time  ref:humor  ref:banter  ref:alien-wtf  via:exclamations  au:novembersmith  fandom:Venom 
december 2018 by zhena
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen by kototyph
Rivers of London, Thomas/Peter. After he's blown off Beverley one time too many, she gives Peter a holiday gift that has him frantically avoiding Nightingale because now he wants the opposite of that. // 11K. Peter POV, sex pollen! Nothing from after "Hanging Tree," and also doesn't incorporate the Abigail short, so something of a fork AU. The family christmas chez Peter's mom and dad is pretty fun.
* "Let Nothing You Dismay," https://archiveofourown.org/works/17222336 Followup fic, the sex scene for the former.
fanfic  Rivers-of-London  slash  pair:PeterGrant/ThomasNightingale  yuletide2018  ref:fork  ref:sexpollen  ref:curse  ref:dubcon  ref:miscommunication  ref:holiday  ref:xmas  ref:first-time  ref:families  fandom:RiversOfLondon  au:kototyph 
december 2018 by zhena
Your Fever Gives Me Shivers by misura
Almost Human, Kennex/Dorian. "Dorian gets infected with a sex bot virus. John gets infected with feelings." //2K. As the author sez, "this is less a fic about sex pollen for androids and more a fic about John being allergic to feelings?" Yep, it's not really a sex pollen fic, and it's really well done. (Tho this is more in line with the show, I admit I would also like that actual sex pollen fic...)
via:shadowkeeper  fanfic  AlmostHuman  slash  pair:Dorian/JohnKennex  yuletide2018  ref:angst  ref:pining  ref:denial  ref:robots  ref:first-time  au:misura  fandom:AlmostHuman 
december 2018 by zhena
The Night of the President's Presents by karaokegal
Wild Wild West, Jim/Artemus. For the annual holiday ball in Washington, the duo are tasked with collecting the presents destined for President Grant -- and detecting any hidden bombs and poisons beforehand. One such trap comes courtesy Loveless, naturally. //8.7K. Artie POV. Considerable backstory is applied to Artemus. Then florid sex pollen for christmas!
fanfic  WildWildWest  slash  pair:JamesWest/ArtemusGordon  yuletide2018  ref:xmas  ref:backstory  ref:sexpollen  ref:pining  ref:first-time  ref:western  au:karaokegal  fandom:MiscTV 
december 2018 by zhena
We’ll Make a Brand New Start of It (in Old New York) by misantlery
Buzzfeed Worth It, Andrew/Steven. Steven convinces Andrew to be his fake date to a New Year's event. Andrew is not aware of the hidden agenda. // 9.6K, with lots and lots of mooning over food, dumb word plays, and sexy teims for afters.
"Just to be clear," Andrew says. "You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend at a party to spite your high school bully and your high school girlfriend and possibly the entire state of Ohio?"
Steven giggles. "Spite’s such a harsh word. Shock and impress, maybe."
"For a man of faith you’re being awfully morally flexible about this," Andrew says. "What with the lying and the ... the tomfoolery."
"Andrew, it’s for *charity.*"
N.B.: "misantlery" = LOL_MEME
fanfic  BuzzfeedWorthIt  slash  pair:AndrewIlnyckyj/StevenLim  ref:pretendcouple  ref:pretendgay  ref:UST  ref:humor  ref:first-time  ref:virginity  ref:bffs-to-lovers  au:misantlery  fandom:Buzzfeed  yuletide2018 
december 2018 by zhena
#blessed by thehoyden
Buzzfeed Unsolved, Ryan/Shane. "Of course Shane would rather not work; he’d like it to be like the good old days, and who wouldn’t? But a demon’s gotta eat, and he can’t even get a discount on his rent because it turns out it’s a lot harder to influence faceless companies with ominous dreams. Ergo: gainful employment at Buzzfeed." // 9K. Shane POV. Another demon!Shane fic. So the basic idea here is Ryan got himself mildly demon infested at the Sallie House, and Shane's more than willing to invite him over for extensive bedsharing to ward that off. Yup. Porn toward the end. (Also that fic commenter re: "salt of the earth earnestness" of midwesterners, this quaint and mysterious people, LOLOLOL.)
fanfic  BuzzfeedUnsolved  slash  pair:RyanBergara/ShaneMadej  ref:demon  ref:curse  ref:humor  ref:first-time  au:Hoyden  via:as_lld_again  fandom:Buzzfeed 
december 2018 by zhena
Occupational Hazard by Destina
James Bond, Bond/Q. "Q is the most dangerous distraction Bond has had to overcome in a very long time." // 3K. Bond POV. Relatively short, straightforward, readable get-together fic.
fanfic  slash  JamesBond  pair:007/Q  ref:first-time  ref:competence  via:shadowkeeper  au:destina  fandom:JamesBond 
december 2018 by zhena
Cryptography by LowerEastSide
Harry Potter, Harry/Draco. "Draco Malfoy is still a puzzle that Harry Potter wants to solve. Good thing they both solve puzzles for a living." // 19K. So Harry is basically Indiana Jones with a shop, Draco is a freelance translator who works from his home in the suburbs. Nothing wildly dramatic happens; it's just a mildly sweet, laid-back sort of misunderstandings resolved fic.
fanfic  HarryPotter  slash  pair:HarryPotter/DracoMalfoy  ref:EWE  ref:miscommunication  ref:first-time  ref:mystery  au:LowerEastSide  fandom:HarryPotter 
december 2018 by zhena
My Working Week and My Sunday Rest by pineapplecrushface
Captain America, Steve/Bucky. "Steve's life after he throws down the shield and hides with Bucky in Wakanda is composed of the following: moping, having 80-year-old epiphanies, dramatically tearing the Avengers symbol off his uniforms, learning too much about goats, fighting, fighting more, fighting even more, trying not to make it weird, definitely making it weird." // 30K. Just finished WIP I was subscribed to for some reason. Unfortunately, it's been so long since I read the previous chapters I can't remember what this was about overall, so reread sometime. Anyway, Wakanda, various Black Panther cast, and goats, pre-Thanos.
fanfic  CaptainAmerica  BlackPanther  pair:SteveRogers/BuckyBarnes  ref:goats  ref:farming  ref:domestic  ref:pining  ref:first-time  au:pineapplecrushface  fandom:CaptainAmerica  fandom:BlackPanther 
december 2018 by zhena
Future Forged by kyrilu
Guardian, ZhaoYunlan(Kunlun)/ShenWei. "Masquerading as Kunlun, Zhao Yunlan sets out on a mission to recover the stolen Hallows alongside the young Shen Wei. Along the way, he discovers new abilities, forges new bonds, unearths old histories, and learns that the universe goes beyond his wildest imagination." // 30K. Twisty, complicated fixit fic where Yunlan spends about a year in the past, and joins up with a mountaintop sage and some warriors in hatching a plan to retake the holy tools from the rebels -- while building a relationship with Shen Wei while he's at it. A fandom where you can have simultaneous first-times and established. :D
fanfic  Guardian  镇魂  slash  pair:ZhaoYunlan/ShenWei  AU  ref:fork  ref:fixit  ref:plot  ref:timetravel  ref:pining  ref:UST  ref:domestic  ref:roadtrip  ref:first-time  ref:established  ref:magic  au:kyrilu  fandom:Guardian 
november 2018 by zhena
Proof by AlphaCygni
Deep Space Nine, Garak/Bashir, Garak/Parmak. "Enabran Tain has retired, and Garak has been second-in-command of the Obsidian Order for over three years. His next assignment is the interrogation of Cardassia’s newest detainee, a Federation doctor charged with espionage." // 81K, fork AU. Yeah, all right. It's well written, a cool premise, and is entirely set on Cardassia. Bashir is a house-bound captive throughout, forced to work on a disease cure (i.e., "arrest" here = kidnapping). It's intricate and culturally dense with really intense relationships, loads of Garak backstory, some vaguely Stockholm-y stuff.

But. I don't read the licensed mass-market novels (and don't plan to), and I felt uneasy the whole time about not being to discern what was this writer's own take on canon versus what got lifted whole-cloth from some book or other. Fuck it, spoilers: Bait-and-switch fic. The *TV series* pairing you chug through 80+K for is not the author's end game. It's some licensed novel rando (per Google). When I spotted this fic sitting in an old tab from last month, I got ticked off all over again. (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
fanfic  DS9  slash  pair:Garak/JulianBashir  pair:Garak/SomeOtherDude  AU  ref:fork  ref:backstory  ref:kidnapping  ref:domestic  ref:first-time  au:alphacygni  fandom:DS9 
october 2018 by zhena
Another Way to Get to Know You by middlecyclone
Buzzfeed Unsolved, Ryan/Shane/Sara. One day Sara wakes up in Shane's body -- and her own body starts to shriek in a decidedly un-Shane-like manner. She untangles a mysterious three-way swap via inspiration from Harry Potter fanfic. // 8K, Sara POV. PWP in the sense of there being no real explanation (nor any real need of one) -- just an excuse for weird sexyteims. Tho this sort of thing can get tough to read/follow, this one was fairly well done. Oddly, it doesn't spend any time on the 'wow, so this my dick' you expect from a female POV chara. :P
“So you want in on this,” Shane interrupts. “That’s what you’re saying.”
Ryan flushes. “Well, yeah. I have always wanted to fuck a clone of myself.”
“Hey!” Sara says excitedly. “Twins!” She holds her hand out for a high five. Ryan slaps her palm eagerly.
“You guys are weird,” Shane says.
“What,” Ryan snorts, “like you’ve never thought about it?”
“No!”
“I did kind of think I would be in my own body when it happened,” Sara admits, “but I guess this works too.”
fanfic  BuzzfeedUnsolved  het  slash  pair:RyanBergara/ShaneMadej/SaraRubin  ref:PWP  ref:bodyswap  ref:threesome  ref:poly  ref:established  ref:first-time  au:middlecyclone  fandom:Buzzfeed 
october 2018 by zhena
Through the Wilderness by aspookycryptidsock
Buzzfeed Worth It, Andrew/Steven. While Andrew and Steven are in Ireland seeking three price points of stew, Andrew's regularly scheduled pining after Steven is interrupted by funky mystical goings on. // 16K. Andrew POV. I vaguely recall the episode where S. Lim announced his virginity to the world ... and here's a fic on that topic. I don't have a unicorns-make-them-do-it tag, so we'll just reuse the aliens. Same difference!
It's starting to feel like the beginning of a horror movie, if Andrew's being honest, and here he is with an actual virgin. Steven is the final girl, and Andrew's a fucking goner.
fanfic  BuzzfeedWorthIt  slash  pair:AndrewIlnyckyj/StevenLim  ref:pining  ref:humor  ref:first-time  ref:virginity  ref:yenta  ref:aliens-make-them-do-it  ref:magic  via:as_lld_again  au:aspookycryptidsock  fandom:Buzzfeed 
october 2018 by zhena
Seeing Home by kyrilu
Guardian, Zhao/Shen, gen(ish). "This love of ten thousand years." Shen contemplates his Pendant of Pining and its meanings. //1K. Shen POV, series of vignettes.
fanfic  Guardian  镇魂  slash  gen  pair:ZhaoYunlan/ShenWei  ref:backstory  ref:first-time  ref:established  ref:pining  ref:domestic  ref:vignettes  au:kyrilu  fandom:Guardian 
october 2018 by zhena
Hands On Education by BewareTheIdes15
Yuri on Ice, Yuri/Otabek. Yuri gets off with Otabek for the first time. // 4K of aggro stream of consciousness PWP that also manages to be rather funny at times.
He’s so hard. Him. Otabek. Both of them. Mutually. Together.
Fuck. Sex is gross and it makes him stupid. He’s going to have to fucking apologize to Viktor and Yuuri. He understands now. He has seen the light, and it is in Otabek Altin’s pants.
He’s pretty sure there’s a segment of the internet that already knew that.
fanfic  Yuri-on-Ice  slash  pair:YuriPlisetsky/OtabekAltin  ref:PWP  ref:first-time  ref:humor  via:kohleyed  au:BewareTheIdes15  fandom:Yuri_on_Ice 
october 2018 by zhena
You & Me & The Pegasus Galaxy by CartWrite
SGA, John/Rodney. "When John Sheppard finds Rodney McKay's very explicit ads on the Atlantis hook-up board, he feels pretty weird and kind of loses his mind." // 29K, new SGA fic! John POV, fairly woobie, loads of sketchy skulking and pining, also sort of a comfy fixit in that it happily ignores most canon deaths (and I am OK with that).
“Atlantis has a hook-up board?!” Rodney McKay’s initial conversational blast could be heard in every corner of the mess hall as he approached their usual table. His accusing glare skated from Teyla to Ronon and landed on John as he sat down with his full tray. “How am I just finding out about this? We’ve been here literally years. How long has this been going on? It isn’t even online, in a city where even the moppingest floor-mopping moron can write code. When were you going to tell me about this?” Rodney demanded of them all, but John especially.
John took a slow bite of his fishy sandwich. Pegasus catfish tasted like Earth catfish in every way, but the texture was off. It took a little more chewing than normal. This gave him a few extra seconds to decide whether or not to admit he had no idea what Rodney was talking about.
fanfic  SGA  slash  pair:JohnSheppard/RodneyMcKay  ref:pining  ref:woobie  ref:miscommunication  ref:first-time  via:as_lld_again  au:CartWrite  fandom:SGA 
october 2018 by zhena
Full-Court Press by beethechange
Buzzfeed Unsolved, Ryan/Shane. "To be clear, these are not tactics Ryan would recommend. Being an athleisure-obsessed pervert, and lying, and clothes-sabotage: these are not things he’s proud of. But they have undeniably worked." // 12K. That is, Ryan discovers that his ~thing for basketball jerseys is possibly kink flavored -- specifically when worn by Shane, who never wears them. So Ryan takes (weird) steps to remedy that situation. Not too long, rather goofy.
fanfic  BuzzfeedUnsolved  slash  pair:RyanBergara/ShaneMadej  ref:pining  ref:humor  ref:miscommunication  ref:first-time  au:beethechange  fandom:Buzzfeed 
october 2018 by zhena
A Thoughtful, Moving Exploration of Passionate Youth by thehoyden
Naruto, Iruka/Guy. "It said something about Gai that Iruka was actually unsure whether that was a line." // 3.6K. Rare pair! Here, Iruka got over himself much earlier re: Naruto, which snowballed in interesting ways. Halfway in I realized I'd read this one before, but a very long time ago. Really lovely fic of nice people in a believable, earnest, endearing (and funny) relationship (equipped with an eternal rival).
fanfic  Naruto  slash  pair:IrukaUmino/GuyMaito  ref:humor  ref:schoomp  ref:first-time  ref:fixit  au:Hoyden  fandom:Naruto 
october 2018 by zhena
Break in the Routine by Maldoror_Chant
Naruto, Kakashi/Guy. After a late-night discussion with a drunken Anko, Guy seizes upon her suggestion for a novel challenge for his Eternal Rival: the best lover! The trouble is, Guy's never had sex before. He's still confident he can win! Even as Kakashi's headed for the hills. // 18K. Any fic with Guy's bound to be odd, but this one is also oddly adorable (and oddly not explicit, given the topic). It sets up the ensuing relationship really well.
fanfic  Naruto  slash  pair:KakashiHatake/GuyMaito  ref:rivals  ref:first-time  ref:virginity  ref:humor  ref:banter  ref:curtainfic  ref:domestic  au:maldoror_chant  fandom:Naruto 
october 2018 by zhena
A Sensitive Subject by aspookycryptidsock
Buzzfeed Unsolved, Ryan/Shane. "'Hey ghosts, tousle my hair, gimme a little purple nurple or something. Let's have some fun!' - Shane Madej, 2016" // 7K. Ryan finds out by accident that Shane has sensitive nipples. He is overcome by purely scientific curiosity and cannot stop mulling that one over. (Porn ahoy.) Haven't made up my mind about whether I'll ever want to reread this au's last one, but this one's pretty fun.
"Ryan? You okay, man?"
Shane sits up and gives Ryan one of the genuinely concerned, kind looks he gives him sometimes when Ryan's particularly convinced he's about to fucking die. It always calms him down. Usually this is a good thing, but tonight is a very, very bad thing because it calms him down just enough to say, "I need you tell me if a ghost touched your nipples."
"Um." It's maybe the most taken aback Ryan has ever seen Shane, and he can't even enjoy being the cause of it because his words finally register in his own stupid brain and oh. Oh, no.
fanfic  BuzzfeedUnsolved  slash  pair:RyanBergara/ShaneMadej  ref:humor  ref:banter  ref:first-time  ref:bffs-to-lovers  via:elise.grey  au:aspookycryptidsock  fandom:Buzzfeed 
october 2018 by zhena
Make a Move ('Cause I Ain't Got All Night) by stillane
Hawaii 5-0, Danny/Steve. "Danny is about 80% certain that there are deep waters buried somewhere in there." Danny's parents fly in for a visit, and Steve is oddly keyed up over the whole idea. // 6K. Underneath that summary of mixed metaphor is a laid-back vaguely curtainy fic. Never made it through a single ep of this show, so I still don't know why so much oddly domestic fluff resulted from it.
fanfic  Hawaii5-0  slash  pair:SteveMcGarrett/DannyWilliams  ref:UST  ref:pining  ref:first-time  ref:domestic  ref:humor  ref:families  au:stillane  fandom:Hawaii5-0 
october 2018 by zhena
Indiana Bergara and the Treasure of Shane Madej by hapakitsune
Buzzfeed Unsolved, Ryan/Shane. "Two men walk into a forest. 'We're looking for buried treasure,' they say. There's no answer, so they go back to their rooms and have sex about it." // 3K, PWP with incidental cosplay. Of the various fics that derived from that episode, I'd pick this one. Fun, funny, and I deeply admire this tag: "maybe the real treasure was the porn we wrote along the way." (Locked fic, login to read)
fanfic  BuzzfeedUnsolved  slash  pair:RyanBergara/ShaneMadej  ref:PWP  ref:ep-related  ref:humor  ref:awkward  ref:first-time  ref:bffs-to-lovers  ref:locked  au:hapakitsune  fandom:Buzzfeed 
september 2018 by zhena
The Bijozakura Seal by megyal
Naruto, Kakashi/Iruka. "Kakashi and Iruka are bonded together, entirely against their wishes. While Iruka begins to deal with it, Kakashi still has... doubts." // 38K. Soul bond fic. I'm not really into this trope, but this one's so-so. I dunno what it is about this author's fics, but they all feel old-school and the characters seem shallow to me. (All exterior links inside the fic are dead.)
Just read this one again. The underlying plot isn't bad per se, but I still find the two main characters unappealing and the general writing style rather flat and offputting.
fanfic  Naruto  slash  pair:KakashiHatake/IrukaUmino  ref:meh  ref:soulbond  ref:pricklypair  ref:angst  ref:pining  ref:first-time  au:megyal  fandom:Naruto 
september 2018 by zhena
A Perfect Piece of Ass, Like Every Californian by beethechange
Buzzfeed Unsolved, Shane/Sara/Ryan. For Shane's birthday, Sara gets him a fun present they can both enjoy. // 25.7K (total), PWP. Wasn't entirely sure how I'd take to this threesome variation, but it's OK. Mildly funny, is not filled with Deep Discussions (thank ghu), and contains a Rube Goldberg joke (always a plus). Chapter 3 is all Ryan POV on the shenanigans.
“Happy birthday, Shane,” Sara says. “I got you a Ryan.”
“Th—thanks?” Shane says. He looks at Ryan and Ryan just looks back, weirdly impassive, giving nothing away. “But I’m pretty sure I already have a Ryan in this model. What’s the return policy?”
“Not like this, you don’t,” she says, raising her eyebrows meaningfully. Out of the corner of his eye Shane can see Ryan bring his hand to his mouth, stifling a snicker that he turns into a cough. Oh, he thinks.
Oh shit.
fanfic  BuzzfeedUnsolved  het  slash  pair:RyanBergara/ShaneMadej/SaraRubin  ref:PWP  ref:threesome  ref:poly  ref:established  ref:first-time  ref:voyeurism  au:beethechange  fandom:Buzzfeed 
september 2018 by zhena
Project Bang by astolat
Transformers, Optimus Prime/Megatron. "Ratchet shrugged tolerantly when Optimus asked his opinion. 'I think it’s more a lark than anything, but we can all use a lark, now and then.'" Utilizing probes and ports to re-create human entertainment has a salutatory impact on group morale! Then the enemy takes countermeasures. // 5K. Funny enemy slash filled with odd, porny situations. I didn't have a healing-cock tag before because I avoid that sort of thing. Why am I still reading these, I need to work.
fanfic  Transformers  slash  pair:OptimusPrime/Megatron  ref:robots  ref:humor  ref:enemysex  ref:enemyslash  ref:dubcon  ref:first-time  ref:fuckingmachine  ref:healing-cock  au:astolat  fandom:Transformers 
september 2018 by zhena
Victory Condition by astolat
Transformers, Optimus Prime/Megatron. "'Do you want me to tell you a story?' Megatron said mockingly. 'You won’t like it, Prime. It's not a very nice one.'" After OP and M are trapped together by a cave-in with no hope of rescue, it's time to get to get better acquainted! // 37K. Wow. Cyber enemy-slash with tragic backstory oversharing, political philosophical maneuvering, and impromptu poetry slamming. Also deeply porny: first time I've read a character talked into non-coning himself. I don't know (or want to know) anything about this fandom; even so, this fic turned out to be astonishingly readable.
[via reccer(s)] Jfc, this story is unreasonably good. Like, this is a fandom where I have no idea if it bears much resemblance to canon but *who cares*.// Yup.
Kept seeing Pinboard peeps linking to latest astolat Transformer weirdness, and had no plans (NONE) to read any of it. You guys. O_o;;;

* "Arena," https://archiveofourown.org/works/17571611 "'You wouldn’t want to miss that match,' the administrator said." Orion Pax wins a productivity award and gets to visit the arena -- and meet the reigning champion. // 8.6K, Fork AU of this universe. Optimus meets Megatron much earlier in their history; Orion Pax inadvertently recruits the cynical Champion to sharing Orion's own nascent revolutionary fervor (helped along by 'interfacing').
fanfic  Transformers  slash  pair:OptimusPrime/Megatron  ref:robots  ref:enemyslash  ref:enemysex  ref:tenacles  ref:dubcon  ref:politics  ref:first-time  ref:angst  ref:backstory  via:Harpijka  au:astolat  fandom:Transformers 
september 2018 by zhena
I’ve Kissed You Before, but I Didn’t Do It Right (Can I Try Again) by beethechange
Buzzfeed Unsolved, Ryan/Shane. "After months of mooning around each other, forces (read: alcohol, nerves, gravity, tender feelings) conspire to ruin Ryan and Shane’s first night together. With a little help from their friends, dramatic training montages set to 80’s rock anthems, and the early filmography of Harrison Ford, can our heroes get things back on track?" // 23K. Starts off with a bout of mortifying -- but also hilarious -- bad sex, with subsequent moping and avoidance and aaaangst and suchlike. Ultimately HEA, but it takes a while to get there.
Ryan imagines a training montage set to “Eye of the Tiger” in which he inserts larger and larger fake dicks in himself to rounds of cheering applause and then, after removing said dicks, he does a victory run up the Rocky steps.
And that’s ... it’s weird, but in service of a proper seduction —- *the thrill of the fight!* he thinks with a touch of hysteria —- there might be something to it. If dudes are going to be a thing that he does now, he’s going to do it right.
fanfic  BuzzfeedUnsolved  slash  pair:RyanBergara/ShaneMadej  ref:badsex  ref:first-time  ref:pining  ref:miscommunication  ref:angst  ref:humor  au:beethechange  fandom:Buzzfeed 
september 2018 by zhena
A Local History by enjambament
Buzzfeed Unsolved, AU. "Ryan is a real estate agent that specialises in haunted property. Shane's new to town and looking to buy. There's a lot of over thinking, Steven Lim is not impressed with poor communication skills, some mysterious recurring dreams, a beach trip, bed-sharing and the boys getting locked in a room by a ghost. Or the wind. Depending on who you ask." // 27.6K, accurate summary is accurate. Set in Savannah, GA, Ryan as a real-estate agent, Shane as a historical researcher. It's fairly comfy, uncomplicated read (verging on curtain fic) filled with pining, USTing, and another supernatural yenta. HEA. Background Steven/Andrew, plus Jen R. along for the ride.
fanfic  BuzzfeedUnsolved  slash  pair:RyanBergara/ShaneMadej  AU  ref:realestate  ref:banter  ref:domestic  ref:pining  ref:UST  ref:ghosts  ref:yenta  ref:first-time  au:enjambament  fandom:Buzzfeed 
september 2018 by zhena
Skirting the Issue by santamonicayachtclub
Buzzfeed Unsolved, Ryan/Shane. "Lizzie Borden took a dress and landed Shane in quite a mess." // 8.8K, PWP. Lizzie Borden House ep-tag. Two parts: clever setup for fun kink, but abruptly backs off kink, dismisses it as irrelevant. (Uh. Wha?) Last half of fic is protracted sex scene. First part okay, last part bit boring tbh. (Also left me wondering about the timeline on the never-mentioned cheerleader outfit.)
fanfic  BuzzfeedUnsolved  slash  pair:RyanBergara/ShaneMadej  ref:PWP  ref:ep-related  ref:crossdressing  ref:banter  ref:embarrassment  ref:first-time  au:santamonicayachtclub  fandom:Buzzfeed 
september 2018 by zhena
Black Dog by leveragehunters (Monkeygreen)
Captain America, Steve/Bucky, AU. After Steve dies, he's the sole lingering spirit in an abandoned woodland cemetery, with only the local Grim for company -- until one day, decades later, he inadvertently assumes its role as the Black Dog himself. When Steve decides to manifest and rescue an endangered hiker, Bucky's gratitude toward his "spectral canine" savior leads to an odd friendship. // 55K. Skinny-Steve, no powers, weird but likeable hey-magic-works! AU. Slow, slow, slow build, plotty, pretty engrossing, with several sneak-attacks of tragic, lonely dog feels. Ghost fic, no smut. (*Not* bestiality, and no knotting.)
fanfic  CaptainAmerica  slash  pair:SteveRogers/BuckyBarnes  AU  ref:magic  ref:ghosts  ref:H/C  ref:ouch  ref:molasses  ref:first-time  via:norwich36  au:leveragehunters  fandom:CaptainAmerica 
september 2018 by zhena
Schrodinger's Wedding by Sixthlight
Rivers of London, Peter/Thomas. "If a marriage takes place but neither of the parties involved knows it’s real, is anybody really married? Unfortunately for Peter and Nightingale, the answer according to the Registry Office is yes. All they have to do is get divorced. It’s the twenty-first century. How hard can it be?" // 12.6K. Wonderful, funny accidental marriage fic that moves veeery slowly, and absolutely worth it.
fanfic  Rivers-of-London  slash  pair:PeterGrant/ThomasNightingale  ref:accidental-marriage  ref:humor  ref:molasses  ref:UST  ref:first-time  au:sixthlight  fandom:RiversOfLondon 
september 2018 by zhena
The Kakashi Mission by JBMcDragon
Naruto, Iruka/Kakashi. Because Iruka is a patient, well-liked teacher Tsunade assigns him the mission of befriending the village's most insane ninja, who she refuses to clear to rejoin ANBU until he's been minimally socialized. After further acquaintance with the subject, Iruka isn't certain he, or anyone else, is up to the task. // 70-80K? Olde skool, alternating POVs; Rin Lives!, so a mild AU. This version of Kakashi doesn't necessarily contradict canon and maxes out the strange scale: bad case of OCD, unaddressed childhood traumas, severe paranoia, no concept of friendship, and a trollish sense of humor. Interesting tho. Note that the flashback of Kakashi's father's suicide is one of the most disturbing scenes I've ever read. The links inside the fic to the final chapters go to the cut versions; you have to return to the main index for links to the porny versions. (NB, if the site disappears, the fic's also on the Wayback Machine - checked it.)
Most people, upon meeting Iruka, thought him to be a very pleasant and polite man. And he was. However, much like Gai was the most melodramatic man in Konoha, and Sasuke had been the most brooding teenager in Konoha, Iruka had the worst temper in Konoha. But unless one had taught Iruka, or Iruka had taught them, there was no way of knowing this.
Kakashi had done neither of those things.
Iruka was working hard to control said temper. "Kakashi," he said quietly, in a voice all his students knew meant they were a hair's breadth from dying and now would be a good time to either offer mangos or start making a hasty retreat, "did you hit me over the head, knock me out, and bring me here?"
Kakashi, who didn't know that tone of voice, and didn't keep mangos in his apartment anyway, only smiled behind his mask. "Actually, I hit a nerve cluster. It's for dinner."
"Why would you kidnap someone after they've already said they don't want to have dinner with you?" Iruka roared, twisting out of the rope and flying to his feet. "You stupid, arrogant, conceited, stupid--"
"You already said that," Kakashi said, backpedaling.
"Doubly stupid!" Iruka yelled. "Take me home! Now!" He supposed he actually could get home on his own, but it was the principle of the thing.
"But..." Kakashi looked truly confused. At least as confused as someone could be while wearing a mask, and with only one eye showing. "Dinner." He pointed at the little table.
The little table that had sharp chopsticks on it.

* "Skin," http://tentative.net/JBMcDragon/library/dojo/skin.html Iruka and Genma get drunk, for logical reasons. // <1K, Iruka POV, set somewhere in the middle.
* "All about Sex," http://tentative.net/JBMcDragon/Hidden_Village/allaboutsex.html <1K, Iruka POV. Left to his own devices at Kakashi's place, Iruka investigates Icha Icha Paradise.
* "Safely Home," http://tentative.net/JBMcDragon/Hidden_Village/safelyhome.html Kakashi POV. Kakashi returns from a mission and works on his issues on Iruka's bod. // ~1K, PWP.

* "Former Lives, https://jbmcdragon.livejournal.com/286024.html After Iruka tries to kill Naruto -- for no reason he can even articulate -- once he's cleared for hostile jutsu, he gets worked over by the interrogations division and assigned an ANBU guard: Kakashi. Then things get weird. // ~20K, full-length followup fic (directly after "Safely Home"), wherein it is revealed that Kakashi isn't the only one with deep-seated mental health issues: "normal teacher Iruka" has his own peculiarities. This is a fairly intense whump fic, complete with torture, injuries, and hospitalizations. One thing that interests me in these fics is the overwhelming business-like practicality of everyone -- Iruka's penalty is based on how much it might upset Naruto, who's considered to be extremely valuable for the village.
fanfic  Naruto  slash  pair:KakashiHatake/IrukaUmino  ref:angst  ref:ptsd  ref:humor-noir  ref:mental-illness  ref:awkward  ref:miscommunication  ref:molasses  ref:dubcon  ref:first-time  ref:h/c  ref:possession  ref:torture  ref:oldschool  via:exclamations  au:JBMcDragon  fandom:Naruto 
september 2018 by zhena
Stray Dogs by ponderosa and autoschediastic
Kingsman, Eggsy/Harry. After being collected from the police, Eggsy decides some gratitude is in order in the back of the cab. // 2K, PWP.
Eggsy cracks half a grin. Harry’s look could peel him to the bone and that means something all right. Posh suit, posh taxi, it figures the guy’d like a bit of talking dirty to go along with. “S’alright if I suck you off here, yeah? More fun than waitin’ to get to your place.” He nods at the driver. “Bet you he won’t mind.”
fanfic  Kingsman  slash  pair:HarryHart/EggsyUnwin  ref:PWP  ref:first-time  au:autoschediastic  au:blue-soaring  au:ponderosa121  fandom:Kingsman  via:spatz 
august 2018 by zhena
Out of Control with Ryan by beethechange
Buzzfeed Unsolved, Ryan/Shane. Ryan inadvertently gets addicted to watching a romance unfold between Sims versions of himself and Shane - and grows resentful of Sim Ryan living his best life. // 5.5K. A kooky variation on a voyeurism fic, set after "In Control with Kelsey." Lots of pining (and no homicide?). Fun fic, with the usual embarrassing-yet-somehow-hilarious reveal that this au generally includes.
fanfic  BuzzfeedUnsolved  slash  pair:RyanBergara/ShaneMadej  ref:pining  ref:humor  ref:voyeurism  ref:videogame  ref:first-time  au:beethechange  fandom:Buzzfeed 
august 2018 by zhena
I've Found a New Baby by thefourthvine
Rivers of London, Peter/Nightingale. While Nightingale's recovering from the flu, Peter finds a baby left on the Folly doorstep. Minor chaos ensues as they try to piece together who left it there and what sort of supernatural creature it might be -- all while learning the ropes of baby care from Peter's mum. // 13.6, Peter POV. Quirky, interesting case of accidental baby acquiring. Dunno how I missed this one last year. (Podfic version included.)
He still looked a bit pale and interesting, with shadows under his eyes that seemed to be trying to become a permanent feature, but he was alert and focused, and I was glad to see it, despite the circumstances. “Peter, what --” he began, and then he saw the baby I was cautiously unwrapping on the table that I think, once upon a time, was for visitors’ attache cases.
He blinked. I felt him cast something complex and subtle, something I hadn’t even seen him use before, maybe a seventh-order spell. Nothing happened, and his brow wrinkled slightly. “That’s a real infant,” he said, his tone flat and just a little disbelieving.
“The crying was my first clue,” I said, and pulled back the last fold of the blanket.
The baby was black, but light-skinned, considerably lighter than me in my baby pictures. He had a little bit of black fuzz on his head, and his round face was flushed and screwed up in anger. I knew he was a boy because he wasn’t wearing anything, not even a nappy, and I understood the reason for his wailing immediately. I’d have been mad about lying in my own mess, too.
“I need some kind of wipe,” I said. “A lot of them. And something to use for a nappy.”
fanfic  Rivers-of-London  slash  pair:PeterGrant/ThomasNightingale  ref:kidfic  ref:casefic  ref:domestic  ref:dubcon  ref:first-time  via:elise.grey  au:thefourthvine  fandom:RiversOfLondon 
august 2018 by zhena
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