yolandaenoch + sexual-assault   60

R. Kelly and the Cost of Black Protectionism - The Atlantic
While Surviving convincingly argues that Kelly’s celebrity was a significant driving force in helping him establish a protected, predatory pattern, the docuseries picks at an uncomfortable truth that has long existed in the African American community. Black girls and women are often on their own in fighting abuse and misogynoir.

The African American community has struggled to deal with the abuse of black girls and women because addressing this widespread problem ultimately means singling out black men, which many are hesitant to do because they don’t want to become another vehicle that contributes to their destruction.

But a community conditioning itself to accept abuse out of racial solidarity is not only unacceptable, it’s also further jeopardizing the safety and well-being of black women and girls.
jemele-hill  theatlantic.com  r-kelly  surviving-r-kelly-documentary  black-women  misogynoir  sexual-assault 
january 2019 by yolandaenoch
The GOP’s Sexualized Assault of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez | Dame Magazine
The 9-million-year-old white men running the GOP, however, have been taught exactly that. So they treat Ocasio-Cortez like they’ve been taught to treat female colleagues who stand out. They punish her for the fact that they’re attracted to her, even though she did nothing to elicit those feelings and almost certainly doesn’t want them. They portray her as a sex object because sex objects don’t talk back, unless it’s to ask what more they can do for you. In so doing, they give themselves an excuse not to deal with the more serious challenge she poses. Ocasio-Cortez is not meant to be challenging, she is not meant to be argumentative or assert herself, she is not meant to have bold opinions or radical ideas, because she is not meant to have ideas and opinions at all. She’s not supposed to think. She’s supposed to be looked at. She is supposed to be consumed.
damemagazine.com  sexual-harassment  sexual-assault  sady-doyle  alexandria-ocasio-cortez 
january 2019 by yolandaenoch
'I Suck': How Guys Use Self-Deprecation Against You
"men suck/women rock" feminist caricature

Gaslighting's goal is simple: Get you to tone down that oh-so-scary lady rage that frightens the menfolk. But there's another kind of gaslighting that's almost as common and which serves the same purpose. Call it the "I'm such an asshole" speech or call it strategic self-deprecation, the end goal is always the same: deflect women's anger.

These guys figure that if they say truly awful things about themselves, they'll force their partners to cease the search for legitimate discussion and turn to the more traditionally feminine role of soothing male anxiety.

While traditional gaslighting makes women's anger seem irrational, this self-deprecatory wallowing makes women's anger seem like unfair piling-on to a guy who already hates himself more than you ever could.
hugo-schwyzer  sexual-assault  sexual-harassment  gaslighting  Gaslighting's  goal  is  simple:  Get  you  to  tone  down  that  oh-so-scary  lady  rage  frightens  the  menfolk.  But  there's  another  kind  of  that's  almost  as  common  and  which  serves  same  purpose.  Call  it  "I'm  such  an  asshole"  speech  or  strategic  self-deprecation  end  always  same:  deflect  women's  anger.jezebel.com  ann-marie-slaughter  feminism  gender-inequality  yashar-ali 
december 2018 by yolandaenoch
Louis C.K. and How Predators Victimize Themselves by Making Women Feel Sorry for Them
Most women have experienced some kind of male aggression. But male sadness and guilt-tripping, that we need to feel sorry for these humiliated dolts, somehow rendered harmless by this patheticness, is just as common. It’s the friend zone, it’s nice guy syndrome, it’s all of it. Female reactions to male embarrassment, the social drive to make men feel better, to excuse behaviors because we feel sorry for them, that can be weaponized against us and is. That’s what Louis C.K. did for years, only admitting it when he was caught and couldn’t get out of it.
louis-ck  sexual-assault  sexual-harassment  pajiba.com  courtney-enlow 
december 2018 by yolandaenoch
Leslie Moonves Won't Get $120 Million In Severance, CBS Says | Hollywood Reporter
"With regard to Mr. Moonves, we have determined that there are grounds to terminate for cause, including his willful and material misfeasance, violation of Company policies and breach of his employment contract, as well as his willful failure to cooperate fully with the Company’s investigation. Mr. Moonves will not receive any severance payment from the Company," the board said on Monday. 

CBS hired an investigative team that interviewed as many as 300 people, according to insiders, in order to get to the bottom of the allegations against Moonves after Ronan Farrow listed a half-dozen accusers in The New Yorker on July 27.
paul-bond  leslie-moonves  ronan-farrow  cbs  sexual-assault  sexual-harassment  hollywoodreporter.com  bobbie-phillips  marv-dauer 
december 2018 by yolandaenoch
Five Women - This American Life
A different kind of #MeToo story, about several women who worked for the same man [Don Hazen, the executive editor of AlterNet]. They tell us not only about their troubling encounters with him, but also about their lives beforehand. Who were they when they entered the workplace, and how did their personal histories shape the way they dealt with his harassment?
this-american-life-podcast  podcast-episodes  sexual-assault  sexual-harassment  chana-joffe-walt  don-hazen  alternet 
august 2018 by yolandaenoch
We Don't Trust the Criminal Justice System Until It Clears a Black Man of Sexual Assault. Then We're All In
If CTG is guilty of what his accuser says, whether or not he was convicted, one can only hope that he’ll get his karma. The courts aren’t reopening his case for legal reasons. But the court of public opinion is just as damaging. Oddly though, Angela Rye will probably pay more for what CTG allegedly did than he will because she decided to wade into a pool that isn’t hers.
angela-rye  criminal-justice  charlamagne-tha-god  panama-jackson  rape  sexual-assault 
july 2018 by yolandaenoch
Henry Cavill says he's scared to date post-#MeToo because he doesn't want to be called a rapist. Is he alone?
Ultimately, treating #MeToo as something abnormal because it holds men accountable for their behavior “speaks volumes” about men who feel that way, Durvasula says. “A potential partner wants to feel desirable and attractive, not like a prize or prey. There’s a difference.”
dating  me-too  sexual-assault  sexual-harassment  henry-cavill  yahoo  korin-miller 
july 2018 by yolandaenoch
The NBA needs to send a no-tolerance message to Mark Cuban, Mavericks — The Undefeated
Cuban also said he did not fire Sneed because “he would go out there and get hired again and do it somewhere else.”

“That’s what I was truly afraid of and that was the discussion we had internally,” Cuban said. “It was a choice between just firing him and making sure that we had control of him.”

So not only did Cuban choose to believe Sneed over an abused woman, he then made the conscious decision to be more concerned about a man who beat women rather than the women who were actually abused.

That’s disgusting.
nba  mark-cuban  the-undefeated  sexual-harassment  sexual-assault  jemele-hill 
february 2018 by yolandaenoch
Victims in Larry Nassar Abuse Case Find a Fierce Advocate: The Judge
And, in an extraordinary session streamed live on the internet over several days, she has opened her courtroom to any victim who wishes to speak, for however long she wishes to speak. That goes for their coaches and parents, too.

“Leave your pain here,” Judge Aquilina told one young woman, “and go out and do your magnificent things.”
gymnastics  larry-nassar  rosemarie-aquilina  sexual-assault  the-new-york-times 
january 2018 by yolandaenoch
I’m a sexual consent educator. Here’s what’s missing in the Aziz Ansari conversation.
It’s impossible to know for sure what Ansari was thinking on the night in question, but this is a seasoned performer who knows how to read a crowd, and a “relationship expert” to boot. It strains credulity to imagine he truly thought she was excited about what was happening between them. What’s much more likely is that he didn’t care how she felt one way or the other and treated her boundaries as a challenge. Either way, his alleged behavior was dehumanizing.

Affirmative consent, when taught well, also removes heteronormative assumptions from sex ed. If we’re each equally responsible to make sure our partner is enthusiastic about what’s happening, gender stereotypes — such as that women are passive and men are aggressive — about sexuality begin to break down.

Consent education does something else transformative: It tells girls that sex is supposed to be for them.
vox  aziz-ansari  sexual-assault  sexual-consent  consent  jaclyn-friedman  sex-education 
january 2018 by yolandaenoch
The Conversation About Aziz Ansari Is an Uncomfortable Mess, Which Is Why We Need to Have It
Disingenuous, lazy claims about the “ambiguity” of both consent and resistance allow sexual assault to remain ubiquitous. If nothing else, we are a society that firmly believes in questioning the credibility of alleged victims with way more fervor than we do the actions of their alleged abusers. We have ample leg room to instead fix our gaze on proper ways to handle the stories and best interest of people alleging sexual assault. We can also stand to focus a harsher lens on men like Ansari who pursue rigid sexual compliance in the face of resistance and to admonish their team of toxic acolytes who are more than eager to dismiss their harmfulness.
rape-culture  aziz-ansari  danielle-butler  very-smart-brothas  sexual-assault  sexual-harassment 
january 2018 by yolandaenoch
The Systematic Crushing of a #MeToo Pioneer - The New York Times
So thoroughly did M.G.M. expunge Patricia Douglas from the historical record that when I first stumbled upon her story, no reference source whatsoever cited her case, while a Google search of her name yielded nothing.
david-stenn  patricia-douglas  mgm  hollywood  sexual-harassment  sexual-assault  the-new-york-times 
january 2018 by yolandaenoch
‘The Rape of Recy Taylor’ explores the little-known terror campaign against black women
What happened to Taylor and countless other black women and the obscurity of their story within the broader narrative of American history is emblematic of the way black women’s trauma is repeatedly given short shrift even today. The absence of black women from the spotlight of #MeToo has historical roots that predate Taylor’s rape. Taylor’s story isn’t just about her. It’s about thousands of women just like her whose stories we may never know, who were victimized and brutalized without recognition or recompense for their injuries.

Even if men were convicted of rape, the political system found ways to excuse them. According to Trouble in Mind: Black Southerners in the Age of Jim Crow, Cole Blease, the governor of South Carolina from 1910-14, made prolific use of his pardoning powers, issuing 1,700 during his tenure. Blease pardoned both black and white men who had been convicted of attacking black women and girls. In an official pardoning statement, Blease stated, “I am of the opinion, as I have always been, and have very serious doubt as to whether the crime of rape can be committed upon a negro.”

White men were raised to believe that they could do whatever they wanted to do to black women and there would be no punishment, and when they did whatever they wanted to do, there usually wasn’t a punishment. These are lessons handed down from grandparents and fathers, uncles. They were encouraged to get a black woman for their first sex act so that they could practice … in the ’40s, they just picked them up on the side of the road just like Recy Taylor.

“I think the floodgates have opened for white women,” actress Gabrielle Union recently told The New York Times about #MeToo. “I don’t think it’s a coincidence whose pain has been taken seriously. Whose pain we have showed historically and continued to show. Whose pain is tolerable and whose pain is intolerable. And whose pain needs to be addressed now.”
the-undefeated  soraya-nadia-mcdonald  the-rape-of-recy-taylor-documentary  nancy-buirski  rape  black-women-issues  sexual-assault  cole-blease  gabrielle-union 
december 2017 by yolandaenoch
Letterman and Me | Vanity Fair
Actually, it may be. There’s a subset of sexual harassment called sexual favoritism that, according to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, can lead to a “hostile work environment,” often “creating an atmosphere that is demeaning to women.”

One frequent excuse you hear from late-night-TV executives is that “women just don’t apply for these jobs.” And they certainly don’t in the same numbers as men. But that’s partly because the shows often rely on current (white male) writers to recommend their funny (white male) friends to be future (white male) writers. Targeted outreach to talented bloggers, improv performers, and stand-ups would help widen the field of applicants. I’m also aware of several worthy females who have submitted material and never heard back.

And while writers do need to feel comfortable in order to make comedy, denying an entire class of people certain opportunities in order to preserve a way of life seems a tad antebellum. Plus, it’s been my experience that a room with a fairer sampling of humanity will always produce funnier material.
nell-scovell  david-letterman  vanity-fair  sexism  feminism  sexual-assault  sexual-harassment  sexual-favoritism  recruiting 
november 2017 by yolandaenoch
Lena Dunham’s latest controversy sparks a call for women of color to stop working for her - The Washington Post
In her statement, Clemmons described a long history with Dunham’s social circle dating back to their college years. “I avoided those people like the plague because of their well-known racism,” Clemmons wrote. “I’d call their strain ‘hipster racism,’ which typically uses sarcasm as a cover.”
hollywood  sexual-assault  sexual-harassment  lena-dunham  jenni-konner  aurora-perrineau  murray-miller  washington-post  black-women  hipster-racism  racism  feminism  white-feminism  white-women  zinzi-clemmons  caitlin-gibson 
november 2017 by yolandaenoch
Shedding Light on the “Black Box of Inappropriateness”
It’s tough for some to accept the truth that Dave abused his power for sexual gain and put women in compromising, powerless positions. But we need to acknowledge the difference between inappropriate behavior and assault. What I experienced with Dave was the latter.

When I asked what she told her manager, she said she didn’t tell him any details and just said he was being “inappropriate” to her.

Here is where I stopped her. And myself. I realized at that point, that the devil is indeed in the details. It’s far too easy to gloss over the details and lump everything in as inappropriate, but I believe that the severity needs to be put under the spotlight.

When I probed, she explained that she didn’t feel comfortable putting in black and white what the LP had said to her because she was so shocked and panicked that she couldn’t remember the exact words he used, and she didn’t want this to be a case of “he said, she said.” She didn’t feel like she could confidently report him unless she had hard proof like a text message or an email.
dave-mcclure  500-startups  sexual-harassment  cheryl-yeoh  sexual-assault 
july 2017 by yolandaenoch

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