yolandaenoch + relationships   128

Serena Williams and Alexis Ohanian are good at performing their happy relationship online.
This gets to the heart of what’s fascinating about the two’s very public performance of marriage and parenthood: What exactly are they trying to prove? Williams has more money than she could ever need, and Ohanian has millions of his own. So why are they so intent on packaging their family life into social media–friendly morsels of content?
slate.com  serena-williams  alexis-ohanian  heather-schwedel  social-media  relationships  marriage 
8 weeks ago by yolandaenoch
America Is Horny for Wholesome | GQ
We stan Peter Kavinsky

“Wholesome” isn’t about tame lyrics, clean jokes, or an untarnished image. Wholesome is about remembering to bring a bottle of Malbec over to your girlfriend’s mom’s house because it’s her favorite. Wholesome is not the saccharine cheesiness of playing your date an Ed Sheeran song, it’s picking up her favorite food when you’re at the grocery store (or going across town to the Korean grocery store to get Laura Jean her favorite drink for the long bus ride. Swoon.) It’s not loud, performative gestures—it’s steady affection. It’s about asking someone out on a date and taking care of all the planning instead of just seeing what happens on Friday night and hoping your crush is free. Wholesome isn’t just taking care of tasks, though; it’s a perfect cocktail of confidence and vulnerability.

And women certainly don’t have the energy to teach a sensitive brooding 90s leading man to care about people other than himself. We’re asking for you to be done maturing by the time you get to us now. We’re asking you to put in an effort with our friends just as often as you put in effort to make us come.
sophia-benoit  gq.com  to-all-the-boys-ive-loved-before-movie  men  dating  relationships 
12 weeks ago by yolandaenoch
Realizing I’m Bisexual Helped Me Learn How To Have The Sex I Wanted
The men who do find themselves in my life share one common denominator with the women: They are eager to have a conversation, or rather as many conversations as we need, about desire and consent. It means that sex is always safe, even if it’s purposefully dangerous. It means that sex at its very worst is mediocre and lacking connection, rather than traumatizing or scary.

But finding the right ways to talk about sex, rather than focusing on finding the one and only person I should have sex with, has kept me unharmed so far.
sex  dating  relationships  krutika-mallikarjuna  bisexuality  consent  buzzfeed 
july 2018 by yolandaenoch
"Eartha Kitt, fully in her bag https://t.co/thQWhoXev4"
A man comes into my life and I have to sacrifice? *Evil laugh* For what?!?
eartha-kitt  relationships  dating  feminism 
march 2018 by yolandaenoch
Men Just Don’t Trust Women. And This Is A Problem
But you know what I don’t really trust? What I’ve never actually trusted with any women I’ve been with? Her feelings.

So how do we remedy this? And can it even be remedied? I don’t know. This distrust of women’s feelings is so ingrained, so commonplace that I’m not even sure we (men) realize it exists. I can do one thing, though. The next time my wife tells me how upset she is about something I’m not sure she should be that upset about, trust her.
damon-young  very-smart-brothas  feminism  not-the-standout  feelings  trust  relationships  dating 
october 2017 by yolandaenoch
Single, Unemployed and Suddenly Myself
One evening as we cuddled in my apartment, with me droning on about my man troubles and career fears, he said, “We get so fixated on the job we want or the person we’re dating because we don’t think there will be another. But there’s always another.”
the-new-york-times  marisa-lascher  dating  relationships  career-advice 
october 2017 by yolandaenoch
Second-Degree Dinners: Easily Meet Cool People in Your City
A Second-Degree Dinner brings together 6 people who, mostly, don’t know each other.

There are two “hosts.” Both hosts invite someone who they enjoy spending time with and that they think is interesting.

Then, both of their invitees are expected to invite someone that they think is interesting and send them the invitation as well.
social-dining  social-networking  relationships  productive-partying 
december 2016 by yolandaenoch
The ASK A THERAPIST Podcast!
Joe-El Carabello: You know you’re ready for a relationship when you happy with yourself, your career, and you have healthy friendships around you.
myleik-talks-podcast  therapy  podcast-episodes  relationships  dating 
december 2016 by yolandaenoch
'Insecure' is trying me: Issa and Molly are better than the clichés they're playing into - The Frisky
And her unwillingness to tell Lawrence what she wanted might very well have been, at least in part, because of a lifetime of internalizing messages about how you do and don’t behave should you be so fortunate as to find yourself in a relationship with a “good black man.”
insecure-tv  relationships 
december 2016 by yolandaenoch
The Only Takeaway From The ‘Insecure’ Finale Is That Lawrence Is No Catch » VSB
Essentially, Issa’s inability to communicate the years of unspoken issues was the relationship’s downfall, at least partly. Instead, she convinced herself she wanted Lawrence because a woman’s worth is always tied to having a man. Her own best friend told her she didn’t deserve Lawrence. Issa was beaten over the head with the idea that Lawrence was a “good man” so she’d best be appreciative of scraps lest she find herself alone with a dozen cats. As if being alone is the worst possible thing that could happen to a woman. This societal pressure on women to find and keep a man is why women settle all the time because it’s better to have a piece of a man with potential than to be alone.

The most predictable storyline of the season was Lawrence having sex with Tasha — the one who listened and encouraged his ideas. Because all a lazy unmotivated man needs is a woman to build him up. Yet men are never expected to build women up.

The Lawrence and Issa saga challenges our ideas about gender in relationships. It specifically points to the double standard of cheating. A woman cheating deserves revenge while a man’s cheating deserves forgiveness.
insecure-tv  relationships  very-smart-brothas  bené-viera 
december 2016 by yolandaenoch
One man's take on the silent killer of relationships: unmet expectations.
Formula >>
Expectation - Observation = Frustration

Expectation is the mother of all frustration.

Let your observation take precedence over your expectation. In other words, go with the flow.
relationships  expectations  upworthy 
december 2016 by yolandaenoch
Dear Prudence: My white girlfriend’s afraid to raise a black baby.
Prudie counsels a black man whose white girlfriend has become too scared of having a child together.
advice  relationships  dear-prudence  interacial  relationships 
july 2016 by yolandaenoch
How a woman who went from $12 in her bank account to millionaire status learned to stop sabotaging her success - Yahoo Finance
This unconscious discomfort with making money is not unique to Nichols. Self-made millionaire and author Steve Siebold explains that middle and lower class families tend to pass on the belief that money is scarce — hard to earn and harder to keep — and as a result, the average person sees money as their enemy.
lisa-nichols  money  relationships 
january 2016 by yolandaenoch
The Social Cost of Racial Isolation
In other words, the “invisible hand” of income inequality may be reshaping the racial composition of metropolitan neighborhoods in ways that perpetuate racial isolation.
friendship  interacial  relationships  the-only-one  the-token 
january 2016 by yolandaenoch
Michael Angelakos came out as gay. He also loved his wife. That says a lot about human sexuality.
“She said, 'You need to figure out what's going on with your sexuality because you can't hate yourself anymore,'" he said, as Us Magazine reported, explaining how Mucci had "spearheaded" his coming out process.
lgbt-issues  relationships  marriage 
january 2016 by yolandaenoch
Children don't ruin women's careers — husbands do, Harvard study finds
If you are devoted to your career goals and would like a man who will support that, you’re just doing what men throughout the ages have done: placing a safe bet. // It’s not because they’re “opting out” of the workforce when they have kids, but because they’re allowing their partners’ careers to take precedence over their own. // Of course, marital arrangements aren’t the only force holding women back. Part of the reason these women aren’t advancing at the same rate as their male counterparts is that after they have kids, they get “mommy-tracked.” // Take a look at the current crop of female CEOs: A lot of them have husbands who don’t work. Xerox CEO Ursula Burns took a page out of Hirshman’s book and joked at a 2013 conference, “The secret [to success] is to marry someone 20 years older.” Her husband retired as she was hitting her career stride, allowing him to take primary responsibility for their kids.
relationships  marriage  harvard-business-review  career-advice  children  parenting 
january 2016 by yolandaenoch
Swipe Right On Monogamy
The challenge of 2016 and beyond is to make an honest stab at intimacy in whatever form it might come, to treat each other more gently and to prioritize what makes us feel complete rather than what makes us sound cool.
dating  relationships 
december 2015 by yolandaenoch
‘Game’ Met Match: Pick-up Artist Godhead Neil Strauss’s Subtle, Surprising New Book
I’ve seen it repeated again and again, this idea that serial infidelity is born out of the rigors of monogamy, and not out of a brokenness within ourselves. >>“People just want the easy information. Is it right or is it wrong? Should I do it or should I not do it? And I think — there is nothing that is right or wrong, or correct or incorrect. Nothing is that easy. And people just want the shortcut so they don’t have to think.” >>I sometimes think that people would rather be normal than happy. When it comes to sex and relationships, especially, we are far more fixated on what is socially acceptable than on what gives us pleasure. >>No one can save you, and a relationship will not fix what is broken within you — rather, what is broken within you will expand until your relationship matches your interior. And, most important of all: You have to be happy with the relationship you are in, not the relationship you hope will one day exist.
neil-strauss  book-reviews  dating  relationships  co-dependency 
december 2015 by yolandaenoch
Is my attraction to white men problematic?
I have a thing for white guys. And writing that last sentence makes me feel gross, like I’m a traitor, or a self-hating black woman. I know it's wrong to think this way, to focus on being with a white guy as the ultimate goal in my love life. And I have been trying, very hard, to resist the notion that I must aspire to getting a partner who has lighter skin than I do.
dating  relationships  interracial-relationships  black-women-issues 
december 2015 by yolandaenoch
Being Mary Jane Provides Singles with 4 Steps to Drama Free Relationships | BlackandMarriedWithKids.com
Be honest with yourself. Choose the battles you are willing to fight and stay true to your decision. If the other person is on board, great. If not, keep it moving. >> When drama comes to take you backwards, say bye Felicia! Acknowledge how far you’ve come and the strides you’ve made and celebrate you.
being-mary-jane-tv  relationships  dating 
december 2015 by yolandaenoch
Vulnerability is… | Get The Guy
Vulnerability is initially terrifying, but quickly addictive in its own way. You hold your breath, do the risky thing, realise you didn’t die, and more often than not you notice how much richer all your relationships become (friendships included). The price is that you’re also always exposed, to the best and worst that can happen to you.
vulnerability  matthew-hussey  dating  relationships 
november 2015 by yolandaenoch
Fuck Yes or No
The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, they must inspire you to say “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them. // The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” also states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, THEY must respond with a “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them. // Attractive, non-needy, high self-worth people don’t have time for people who they are not excited to be with and who are not excited to be with them.
mark-manson  relationships  dating  fuck-yes 
november 2015 by yolandaenoch
Gary Vaynerchuk - Timeline Photos
Complaining is something I have no tolerance for. If you’re in control of it, you have the ability to fix it. Where is the value in complaining? Assess the problem, find the solution, and get on the offense. >> I listen to other people. I’m thrilled to hear your headaches, and to try and come up with a solution. But I have no interest in giving you mine. And I truly believe this is something that can be developed in a person. Listen more than you talk. Make a conscious effort to ask more questions of the people around you. Make sure the buck stops with you. Remember what others have done with you. These are all places you can start; and you’ll only move forward from there, I promise.
gratitude  friendship  relationships  gary-vaynerchuk 
october 2015 by yolandaenoch
Men Need Friends
Male friendships often center on groups and activities. But without strong one-on-one ties, men are more likely to feel isolated when romantic partnerships fail or don't happen at all. In this case, fiction mirrors reality: Adult men have the fewest friends of any demographic. And as more and more people delay marriage or forgo it entirely, men are often left without strong social networks to rely on for support.
friendship  relationships  stand-by-me-movie 
august 2015 by yolandaenoch
Why Is It So Hard To Meet Men?
The trick to getting over it? Get more addicted to TRYING than you are afraid of failing. Failing rarely matters. In most areas of life, we can just try another approach. If the aspiring novelist writes a pile of junk, he can always throw it in the bin. Or write another. Except this time he’ll have all the added experience of that last attempt to draw from. Get addicted to experiences, and you’ll have a real WHY that spurs you to be a trier, instead of the person who stays home or waits on the sidelines.
dating  relationships 
july 2015 by yolandaenoch
Life is too short to not be having great sex. A... - Michael Ellsberg
"How to Be a Woman's Best Sexy Friend" (You can read the original FB post here: http://on.fb.me/1S8eCr5) That particular article was primarily written for hetero men--but for anyone of any gender or sexual orientation, a Best Sexy Friend is a sexually experienced friend you can explore your sexuality within a loving, safe, ongoing, nurturing environment with continuity, without the pressures or ups-and-downs of a relationship, and without the randomness and emotional upheaval of the hook-up scene.
relationships  sex  best-sexy-friend  michael-ellsberg 
june 2015 by yolandaenoch
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