tysone + hilarious   297

Back From Yet Another Globetrotting Adventure, Indiana Jones Checks His Mail And Discovers That His Bid For Tenure Has Been Denied.
To summarize, the committee fails to recognize any indication that Dr. Jones is even remotely proficient when it comes to archaeological scholarship and practice.
mcsweeneys  hilarious  tenure 
october 2012 by tysone
McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: Click Here to Unsubscribe From This Relationship.
You are currently subscribed to Casual Romantic And Sexual Relationship That Is Becoming Serious. You are requesting to modify our relationship, is that correct?
mcsweeneys  hilarious  dating 
september 2012 by tysone
McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: Prospectus for Silicon Valley’s Next Hot Tech IPO, Where Nothing Could Possibly Go Wrong.
Age Factor: Our CEO, CFO, COO and a bunch of other acronyms were all born after Nirvana released “Nevermind”.
facebook  mcsweeneys  hilarious 
june 2012 by tysone
Art Descriptions
Art Descriptions takes artists’ statements about their work and presents them without any context. Now you can enjoy the over-involved description without any of that pesky art.
art  hilarious 
june 2012 by tysone
Good Fucking Design Advice
Clients got you down? Looking for motivation to continue on? Complete your life with one of our products.
design  toteach  hilarious  inspiration  forsnd 
april 2012 by tysone
I Am the One Who Clicks Banner Ads.
It is I who click the banner ads. While you check the weather, I find out why California dermatologists hate the one weird skin care secret discovered by a stay-at-home mom.
mcsweeneys  hilarious  forsnd 
april 2012 by tysone
Fifty Other Shades of Grey | Blogs | Vanity Fair
3. At what point it becomes socially acceptable to text new friends non-logistical texts.
4. Scheduling cocktails at 8 p.m.: to assume food is included or not to assume food is included?
april 2012 by tysone
Historical gossip juicy historical rumors American gossip blog from Perez Hamilton
Imagine if Perez Hilton was around during the founding of America…
That’s us, bitches!!!!!!!
Perez Hamilton delivers the HOTTEST gossip from the New World, as it happens. We mean drama SO steamy that everyone will be talking about it — for centuries.
blog  history  hilarious 
april 2012 by tysone
Screenshots of Despair
This is a tumblr cataloguing online messages that evoke feelings of despair.
social  design  hilarious 
march 2012 by tysone
'Huffington Post' Employee Sucked Into Aggregation Turbine | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
Shocked and saddened witnesses at the Huffington Post's news-aggregation facility have confirmed that employee Henry Evers, 25, died Wednesday after being sucked into the website's powerful news-repurposing turbine, where his body was immediately torn to pieces.
huffingtonpost  hilarious  theonion 
february 2012 by tysone
The Year's Best Humor Writing 2011 | Splitsider
But as someone who’s had the privilege of editing Splitsider's Humor Section for the past nine months and compiling the list below (who am I kidding? tl;dr), I’ve been overwhelmed in the best way possible by the volume and quality of the humorists populating the internet. So many good things exist! And here are more than a few:
humor  2011  hilarious 
december 2011 by tysone
Louis C.K.: The Next Steve Jobs Will Be A Chick | Fast Company
I myself have two daughters, a 9-year-old and a 6-year-old, and I've learned from those girls how to be a better man. If I'd had a boy, then there'd be two shitty versions of me. The last thing I need to do is fail twice with two different people: me and my son.
parenting  daughters  hilarious  louisck 
november 2011 by tysone
Yelping with Cormac
Because Yelp Needs Cormac McCarthy.
literature  yelp  hilarious 
november 2011 by tysone
Why I Have No Interest In Being Your Friend « Thought Catalog
I don’t want to be friends with you because we hang in different crowds. You go to sports bars and listen to Rob Thomas on your iPhone and have a casual belief in Jesus Christ. I don’t. … I didn’t make the rules, okay? The high school cafeteria did!
hilarious  friendship  from delicious
november 2011 by tysone
Signs that you are a bad programmer (Bad Programmers)
5. Indifference to outcomes: Programming could still be a hobby for you, but it would be in society's best interests to defend itself against your entry into the world of professional software development.
programming  hilarious  toteach  from delicious
october 2011 by tysone
Commit logs from last night
because real hackers pivot two hours before their demo
hilarious  programming  from delicious
october 2011 by tysone
Programming Language Checklist
Programming Language Checklist
by Colin McMillen, Jason Reed, and Elly Jones.
programming  hilarious  from delicious
october 2011 by tysone
McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: Do You Like Me? Click Yes or No.
To: Bobby<br />
<br />
You know what? FINE. You’re right.  We were in over our heads to begin with on this—now we’re underwater. I guess it’s true what they say: it’s hard to recognize a bubble until after it bursts. I’m posting the announcement on our ill-fated Tumblr. We owe everyone at least that much.
mcsweeneys  hilarious  love  from delicious
september 2011 by tysone
Coffee Jerks - YouTube
I took a series of 1950's and 60's-era coffee commercials from the Prelinger Archives and edited them down to just the moments when the guys were the biggest jerks to their wives about coffee.
coffee  vintage  hilarious  from delicious
september 2011 by tysone
In Defense of Building Tools :: The Scoop
If you’re at the geekier end of the journalism spectrum, then chances are your colleagues know about the stuff you can do. They may not understand it or be able to explain it; a former managing editor of mine, when told about the various technical steps to accomplish something useful, would invariably respond with a touch of wonder: “Fuckin’ Internet!” You can explain your work to a decent percentage of your colleagues by invoking Harry Potter or the Lord of the Rings and leave it at that.
derek_willis  nytimes  technology  nytint  hilarious  from delicious
august 2011 by tysone
CAPTCHAs For Keeping Idiots Away: Pics, Videos, Links, News
Traditional CAPTCHAs make you prove you're not a robot. Defective Yeti's make you prove your not an idiot. Prove my not an idiot? Damn it.
captcha  hilarious  internet  community  from delicious
august 2011 by tysone
Fuck You Yelper
an exploration of the douchebaggery idiots commit when enabled with an internet connection, enough money for a meal, and a sense of entitlement.
hilarious  yelp  ugc  from delicious
august 2011 by tysone
Netflix Relief Fund with Jason Alexander from Funny Or Die, Jason Alexander, and Alex Fernie
Netflix just recently announced that they would be raising the prices of their services making it impossible for any of their customers to continue living.
netflix  technology  video  hilarious  from delicious
july 2011 by tysone
Define the Ratio of People to Cake by Giles Turnbull - The Morning News
When the world’s oddest job-interview questions were recently revealed, GILES TURNBULL decided to take all of them, to prove he’s hirable anywhere.
interviewing  management  hilarious  from delicious
june 2011 by tysone
McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: Your Renegade Ways Have No Place In Geek Squad.
You’re a reckless, renegade sonofabitch and it’s time somebody brought you down a peg or three.
mcsweeneys  hilarious  from delicious
june 2011 by tysone
News Desk: Of Course I Take Pictures of My Penis and Send Them to People : The New Yorker
Stalin often adorned his dacha with framed eight-by-tens, coyly saying to visitors, “Boy-oh-boy, is that a lovely penis, or what?” (The wrong answer proved costly).
newyorker  weiner  hilarious  from delicious
june 2011 by tysone
YouTube - Don't Talk - Angry Voicemail (Uncensored)
This video is an actual voicemail from a woman that was kicked out of one of our Austin theaters. Thanks, anonymous woman, for being awesome.
hilarious  video  from delicious
june 2011 by tysone
Roseanne Barr on the Lack of Change in the TV Industry -- New York Magazine
Roseanne Barr was a sitcom star, a creator and a product, the agitator and the abused, a domestic goddess and a feminist pioneer. That was twenty years ago. But as far as she’s concerned, not much has changed.
hilarious  history  television  feminism  from delicious
june 2011 by tysone
McSweeney's Internet Tendency: An Open Letter to the Gentleman Blow-Drying His Balls in the Gym Locker Room.
Is grabbing a hairdryer a rote, preening response from your earlier years when you and your majestic mane would say things like, "bees knees" to fresh-faced nurses at the pool hall while discussing the Teapot Dome scandal? Did they have hairdryers back then?
mcsweeneys  hilarious  from delicious
june 2011 by tysone
Nate Silver - Wednesday Night Is Right for Loving - NYTimes.com
I asked Rudder if there was a way to determine which days of the week — and which times of day — are the best to meet someone at a bar. What he came up with is something called the “sexual availability index.”
sex  hilarious  nate_silver  statistics  data  from delicious
june 2011 by tysone
Oscar Wilde takes on Jersey Shore, hilarity ensues | TV | Great Job, Internet! | The A.V. Club
God bless the people over at Playbill who corralled Santino Fontana and David Furr, who star as Algernon and Jack respectively in Broadway's The Importance Of Being Earnest, into reading transcripts of Jersey Shore completely in character.
hilarious  literature  from delicious
may 2011 by tysone
Misery | drupal.org
Misery is a module designed to make life difficult for certain users. It can be used:<br />
<br />
As an alternative to banning or deleting users from a community.<br />
As a means by which to punish members of your website.<br />
To delight in the suffering of others.
drupal  community  hilarious  from delicious
april 2011 by tysone
That can be my next tweet
This page generates your future tweets based on the DNA of your existing messages.
twitter  hilarious  from delicious
april 2011 by tysone
Finding Moments of Zen In Sam Sifton's Restaurant Reviews - Overthinking Sam Sifton - Eater NY
When NYT critic Sam Sifton really loves the food or vibe at a restaurant, his writing often takes on a poetic tone, where his words conjure images of nature and tranquility, and sometimes hint at the great mysteries of the universe. These are Sam Sifton's moments of zen. Here's a collection of ten of our favorites, with inspirational backgrounds to enhance the experience.
sifton  nytimes  hilarious  from delicious
april 2011 by tysone
I like big butts and I cannot lie, but is there some evolutionary reason as to why? : AskReddit
My anaconda don't want none unless you have a high likelihood of producing healthy offspring with a minimal chance of genetic disabilities, hun.
hilarious  evolution  from delicious
april 2011 by tysone
Taglines for "The Social Network" Knock-Offs.
MapQuest: "You don't get to the Baja Fresh on Fremont without making a few enemies"
mcsweeneys  hilarious  facebook  from delicious
march 2011 by tysone
YouTube - Chain of Fools : Upgrading through every version of windows (HQ)
An experiment to see the effects of installing every major upgrade version of windows, in order, on the same machine.
microsoft  hilarious  history  from delicious
march 2011 by tysone
McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Angry Birds - Letters from the Front Lines.
Every night, I am haunted by visions of innocent green pigs senselessly killed by these horrific explosions. They're using their own people as human shields, Adeline. What kind of god would allow such beastly, immoral acts?
hilarious  mcsweeneys  from delicious
march 2011 by tysone
Sheen Family Circus
"Sorry my life is so much more bitchin' than yours. I planned it that way."
charlie_sheen  meme  hilarious  favorite  from delicious
march 2011 by tysone
Tom Friedman's Volcano Wakeup Call | The New Republic
A very clever friend sends over today's Tom Friedman column edited down to nothing but mixed metaphors and cliches:
nytimes  language  hilarious  from delicious
february 2011 by tysone
Seeking 'Stuff White People Like' - Video - TIME.com
"all my indie music snobbery i've abandoned for food snobbery"
hilarious  brooklyn  from delicious
january 2011 by tysone
McSweeney's Internet Tendency: I'd Like to Buy Your Novel, Good Sir!
A little about myself. I am a billionaire who has always loved the Arts. Instead of supporting the local Opera or the Youth Painters Club, I have chosen to cast away one of my spare million dollars on whatever it is you are working on. I couldn't stand to see you write and text and check Facebook anymore! I am that person you always drunkenly wished would give you that easy solution!
literature  hilarious  mcsweeneys  from delicious
january 2011 by tysone
McSweeney's Internet Tendency: If This Fusion Restaurant's Website Could Talk.
You want to see our menu??? Just click "About Us!" No, not the actual words, on the stylized elephant next to the words. Yes! DANCE MUSIC!!!
hilarious  webdesign  usability  from delicious
january 2011 by tysone
Timothy Ferriss - ‘The 4-Hour Body’ - Review - NYTimes.com
How can Mr. Ferriss can get away with touting so many practices that are outside medicine’s mainstream? He seems to think of himself as a kind of Twitter-era Johnny Appleseed or Hans and Franz, wandering the planet, pumping you up, making orgasms sweeter and abs six-packier. He quotes one doctor who says to him, “You — Tim Ferriss — can do more outside the system than inside it.”
hilarious  nytimes  books  from delicious
january 2011 by tysone
McSweeney's Internet Tendency: A Great Job Opportunity! FAQ
• Candidate should be an expert in ALL forms of social media and have a MINIMUM of 50,000 Twitter followers.
mcsweeneys  hilarious  from delicious
january 2011 by tysone
McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Google Docs Breaks Up With You.
Wiki and I have been talking, and the two of us are giving up on people like you. We're tired of bending over backwards to change ourselves for every asshole that looks our way. Hope you enjoy life with just you and your pen.
hilarious  mcsweeneys  google  from delicious
january 2011 by tysone
List of common misconceptions - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
This list of common or popular misconceptions describes documented ideas and beliefs which are fallacious, misleading, or otherwise flawed; however, these ideas have been repeated as though they are true. "Misconception" redirects here. For the Law & Order episode, see Misconception (Law & Order).
wikipedia  history  culture  hilarious  from delicious
january 2011 by tysone
The Rosa Parks of Blogs
Everybody is the Rosa Parks of something—or at least the Michael Phelps, Cap'n Crunch, Dick Cheney, Elmer Fudd, or Paris Hilton of whatever. This blog collects examples of the adaptable idiom "X is the Y of Z", which is a snowclone. Feel free to use these descriptions when discussing your beautiful children, longtime companions, sworn enemies, favorite foods, and elected congress-scum.
blogs  hilarious  language  metaphor  from delicious
december 2010 by tysone
Fuck Yeah Menswear
When your diamonds have diamonds.<br />
And your hoes have hoes.<br />
And your sprezzy has sprezzy.<br />
What does that make you?
hilarious  from delicious
december 2010 by tysone
YouTube - Shop Vac (kinetic typography animation)
A kinetic typography music video for Jonathan Coulton's Shop Vac. This was created using Adobe Illustrator, Photoshop, After Effects, Premiere and Toon Boom Animate.

I worked on this sporadically, so it's difficult to estimate how much time went into it. Somewhere between 500-1000 hours, but it was a labor of love.
video  typography  music  hilarious 
december 2010 by tysone
YouTube - Shop Vac (kinetic typography animation)
A kinetic typography music video for Jonathan Coulton's Shop Vac. This was created using Adobe Illustrator, Photoshop, After Effects, Premiere and Toon Boom Animate.

I worked on this sporadically, so it's difficult to estimate how much time went into it. Somewhere between 500-1000 hours, but it was a labor of love.
video  typography  music  hilarious 
december 2010 by tysone
Hulu - Saturday Night Live: Weekend Update - Stefon
"Look over there in the corner! Is that Mick Jagger? No, it's a fat kid on a slip and slide."
snl  nyc  hilarious 
november 2010 by tysone
PBS | Ombudsman | Would Mark Twain Have Edited Tina Fey?
Here's the clip of Fey's full, unedited acceptance speech.
pbs  tina_fey  comedy  hilarious 
november 2010 by tysone
On The Bro'd
hilarious  literature  parody 
november 2010 by tysone
Working in the design industry is like being a dirty robot whore.
"I am sick to death of dealing with you designers. Being able to draw and dressing like women doesn't make you special."
design  hilarious  clients 
november 2010 by tysone
YouTube - Mad Men: Don Draper Says "What?"
Don Draper uses the word "what" as Van Gogh used color or Beethoven used sound. Here's the man using the word in all of its glorious inflections from the first four seasons.
madmen  hilarious  video 
november 2010 by tysone
Flowchart: Understanding the Web, for Fans of Charles Dickens | Fast Company
In this latest installment, the author of "Everything Explained Through Flowcharts" (out Tuesday) travels to 19th (and 31st) century London--braving the plague, Jack the Ripper, and countless robbery attempts--to explain the 20th century's most life-changing tool.
hilarious  visualization  history  illustration 
november 2010 by tysone
City Paper Staff Memo on Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert Rallies - City Desk - Washington City Paper
"The act of not laughing, though, can be just as politically loaded as the act of laughing. Therefore, staffers are advised to politely chuckle, in a non-genuine manner, after each joke."
colbert  jon_stewart  parody  journalism  ethics  hilarious 
october 2010 by tysone
All Dudes Learned How to Dress and It Sucks – The Hairpin
Am I bugging or did a whole lotta dudes in New York suddenly learn how to dress? Sure, there are still square-toed Skechers and Targus laptop carriers and suede car coats and boot-cut date rapist jeans but other than those guys, I feel like people are KILLING IT sartorially and it is the biggest, fattest, suck. ... I can’t figure out how old anyone is. I can’t figure out how gay anyone is. On silent subway morning commutes there are no tells.
nyc  fashion  hilarious 
october 2010 by tysone
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