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Twitter
RT : from thanksgiving, me trying to be nice to him and him SCREAMING at me for snackies
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6 hours ago
Twitter
RT : 5 year anniversary of our neighbor and his incredible rural NC accent coming to give treats to our horse
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6 hours ago
Twitter
That's just what I've been thinking about about Michael Flynn's weird recent behavior. It isn't tactical. It's ego.…
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6 hours ago
Twitter
OMG. I just heard this story on the way to the gym and I cried the whole way. What an amazing story!…
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10 hours ago
Twitter
It’s been too long since y’all have gazed upon Jeff Sharlet’s incredibly handsome face.
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20 hours ago
Twitter
Newton meets Flame / Flame meets Newton
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20 hours ago
Twitter
Someone please photoshop Tango overtop of the weird rodent
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23 hours ago
Twitter
hey pals I planned a party thing for tonight but it’s been such a hard week and I can’t seem to figure anything out…
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yesterday
Twitter
RT : Poster courtesy of . Please hang on every lamppost.
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yesterday
Twitter
not to be dramatic but this is the only thing i'm interested in watching for the rest of the year i am screaminggg
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yesterday
Twitter
The hellbeast has landed.
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yesterday
Twitter
RT : 1. If it’s engineering, it’s tensile strength.
2. If it’s botany, it’s turgor pressure.
3. Now go memorize The Road…
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yesterday
Twitter
I heard from Clint () and he’s doing okay. I told him that we all miss him and that we hope he’s doing o…
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yesterday
Twitter
I’m getting better!!! I would really like to practice doing more backgrounds in the new year along with getting mor…
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yesterday
Twitter
Our holiday party is tomorrow night and honestly shout out The Atlantic for springing for a Friday booking so we do…
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yesterday
Twitter
Not gonna lie, marine sciences have the best jargon to steal for shades of blue.
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yesterday
Twitter
Between watching that woman get attacked and called a chink on the MTA, federal bullshit about the status of Vietna…
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yesterday
Twitter
I'm a marine biologist, 'abyssopelagic' is the lower midnight zone where it remains perpetually dark.…
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yesterday
Twitter
why won’t someone give me a show called TO CATCH A RACIST??
The international edition is a travel show but the ame…
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2 days ago
Twitter
reply all is going to be the death of me.

When I die, my headstone should read “she valiantly fought reply all un…
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2 days ago
Twitter
Nature is gloriously fucking weird.
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2 days ago
Twitter
black travelers! I want to check something! have you ever been overseas and people thought you were a celebrity? [b…
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2 days ago
Twitter
Why women live longer than men.
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2 days ago
Twitter
OPRAH ACKNOWLEDGED MY CHICKEN VIDEO TWEET AND SAID MY NAME I AM LITERALLY SHAKING

Thank you for everything,
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2 days ago
Twitter
Steven Yeun AND John Cho have both been cast in Jordan Peele's Twilight Zone reboot, but starring in separate episo…
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2 days ago
Twitter
Modern life makes it easy to hide behind a screen in your relationships. Tell someone you care about that you love…
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3 days ago
Twitter
They hired me under the auspices of being a writer.

You see, they had a NEWSPAPER.

A CASH REGISTER NEWSPAPER.

Ar…
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3 days ago
Twitter
Way back in the day I ditched a couple jobs -- like, walked right the fuck out of them. Though usually I at least g…
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3 days ago
Twitter
RT : The thing is, the best way to understand Theresa May’s predicament is to imagine that 52 percent of Britain had vot…
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3 days ago
Twitter
3-year-old: *gets a shirt stuck on her head*

Me: Let me help you.

3: I DO IT MYSELF.

If you're expecting us toda…
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3 days ago
Twitter
Serious face here. Big tobacco getting into cannabis plus my specific medical needs, ie specific quantities of vari…
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3 days ago
Twitter
I think the branding on this $240 perfume went wrong somewhere, take a hard look and see if anything sticks out
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3 days ago
Twitter
I hope it wasn’t, like, bad torture?
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3 days ago
Twitter
BOUDICA WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US
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3 days ago
Twitter
He pressed on each of her toes individually. (She tried to give him a gentle kiss but couldn’t reach his face and t…
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3 days ago
Twitter
He ran his hands down her back and sides. (She gave him a gentle kiss.)

He took her face in his palms and tilted…
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3 days ago
Twitter
We see a lot of strange symptoms come and go with our dogs, so we’ve developed a pretty good sense of what is or is…
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3 days ago
Twitter
Boudica is a quiet dog. She didn’t answer.
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3 days ago
Twitter
On our long run the other day, Boudica got tired after 30 miles and rode in the barkbox the rest of the way. The ne…
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3 days ago
Twitter
winter is hard but some things are wonderful, and this particular wonderful has a flip phone and will never see me…
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3 days ago
Twitter
RT : A soothing GIF for these trying times
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4 days ago
Twitter
I don't know if someone who can't construct simple sentences should advise on reporting.

F -
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4 days ago
Twitter
But, somehow, there's a lot. I'm legitimately surprised. When you're emotions are alternately either just below the…
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4 days ago
Twitter
So all my friends and other writers I adore are posting the work they're proudest of from this year. Honestly...I k…
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4 days ago
Twitter
Look, there's no wrong version of Mr. Darcy. There is however an extremely right one.

🐕💖📚
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4 days ago
Twitter
When we say the system is fucked up, this is e x a c t l y what we mean.

When y'all say "my vote means nothing, so…
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4 days ago
Announcing the 2019 PEN America Literary Awards Longlists - PEN America
I am thrilled to be on the longlist for the PEN/Diamonstein-Spielvogel Award for the Art of the Essay:
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4 days ago
Twitter
RT : Because I have been raped. I have been stalked. I have been followed. I have been harassed too man…
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4 days ago
Twitter
RT : Because every time we try to help you understand that your male privilege harms us, it goes in one…
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4 days ago
Twitter
RT : Ladies, a question for you:

"What would you do if all men had a 9pm curfew?"

Dudes: Read the replies and pay atte…
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4 days ago
Twitter
In my scientific opinion, anyone who does not support you for Oscars host is clearly using a flawed a…
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4 days ago
Twitter
RT : I’m a white guy who regularly visits other countries by himself, walking city streets after midnig…
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4 days ago
Twitter
Ive met so many shitty pre-meds in college I would rather die than wake up on a hospital bed only to have Kristen w…
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4 days ago
Twitter
FYI my cat does not think I am a trash heap. he loves me.
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5 days ago
Twitter
shoutout to anyone who was a) a molly b) looked forward every year to getting a new spectacles wardrobe for your do…
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5 days ago
Twitter
He's probably seen it 18 times. You know when you unlock someone's obsession? This is like asking me if I've notice…
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5 days ago
Twitter
Hi, a man is ranting at me about Superman II via voice messages. I'd provide quotes but the words "dogfucker" and "…
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5 days ago
Twitter
Meet the Circuit Scribe user testing team.
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5 days ago
Twitter
Here a cluck, there a cluck. Can we guess which farm animal you are?
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5 days ago
Give us a quack at guessing which farm animal you are
Here a cluck, there a cluck. Can we guess which farm animal you are?
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5 days ago
Twitter
I'M EXTREMELY GLAD YOU'RE STILL HERE. GOOD JOB.
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5 days ago
Twitter
THAT IS A FANTASTIC SUCCESS, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE STILL HERE AND THAT YOU PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR NEEDS.
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5 days ago
Twitter
👏👏👏 PROUD OF YOU JOI
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5 days ago
Twitter
OMG THIS IS SO MANY TRULY WONDEROUS ACCOMPLISHMENTS, YOU ARE AMAZING.
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5 days ago
Twitter
THAT IS SO COOL, PROUD OF YOU.
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5 days ago
Twitter
GOOD JOB PERSISTING AND SURVIVING AND STUDYING, I'M PROUD OF YOU.
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5 days ago
Twitter
SCHOOL CAN BE HARD AND COOKING IS SUCH A GREAT SKILL TO DEVELOP, PROUD OF YOU.
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5 days ago
Twitter
there is lots of stuff that I feel weird about being proud of so I'm not going to talk about that s…
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5 days ago
Twitter
RT : Bler I just love Grinch’s face. Help I keep falling in love with spec…
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5 days ago
Twitter
code-switching simply reveals which language you have decided most captures the feel of what you’re trying to say,…
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5 days ago
Twitter
RT : Don't have an Oscars host at all, just the winners' names displayed on screen and a series of adoptable rescue dogs…
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5 days ago
Twitter
RT : My cousins ex leaked her nudes so I told her to sue him for “non consensual-porn” and “defamation of character.” No…
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5 days ago
Twitter
RT : No, that’s actually the point - she is new to everything and taking us, the pu…
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5 days ago
Twitter
RT : She’s a congresswoman-elect who ran one of the strongest grassroots cam…
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5 days ago
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