southerly + humor   628

hypothetically... - Mizzy - Marvel 616 [Archive of Our Own]
Steve accidentally finds out that Tony Stark is Iron Man. He methodically and hypothetically works through what to do about it.
marvel  avengers  616  Steve/Tony  first.time  Mizzy  identity.porn  humor 
17 days ago by southerly
Truth or Dare - Laslus - Marvel [Archive of Our Own]
Tony suggests a game of truth or dare to Steve and Bucky. Maybe it was his best idea, maybe he will die of sexual frustation. Either way he is sure to enjoy the show.
marvel  avengers  mcu  Steve/Tony/Bucky  first.time  Laslus  polyamory  pining  humor 
28 days ago by southerly
An Accidental Kiss - Falcon_Falls - The Magicians (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
When Eliot accidentally kisses Quentin, he does what he thinks is necessary to keep their secret relationship secret for a little while longer.
TheMagicians  Quentin/Eliot  established  Falcon_Falls  humor 
4 weeks ago by southerly
Insanity - sadlittlepeachesandplums - The Magicians (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
“Eliot…”

Quentin sits down on the couch and stares at him with wide eyes, until Eliot sighs and looks up at him. “What, Quentin? I’m busy.”

Quentin makes a face because that’s clearly not quite true but shakes his head because this is more important and Eliots the only one who hasn’t lost his god damned mind. “I think everyone’s gone insane,” he nods erratically as if it emphasize the statement.

Eliot sighs again, leaning back on the couch with a roll of his eyes and a wave of his arm in a go on motion, “And how have they gone insane?”

“Well,” Quentin kicks his lips, “Penny pushed me up against a tree this morning -,”

“Sounds pretty par for course, Q.”

“– and kissed me.”
TheMagicians  Quentin/Eliot  first.time  sadlittlepeachesandplums  season1  love.spell  pining  humor 
8 weeks ago by southerly
Think Dirty To Me - newtypeshadow - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]
A magic spell aimed at Steve hits Tony too—but everything's fine!
Until Steve starts thinking lustful thoughts about his boyfriend, Bucky, and Tony can hear them.
Cue awkwardness (Steve), science (Tony), and scheming while being a shit (Bucky).

Alternate Ending (unread)
marvel  avengers  mcu  Steve/Tony/Bucky  first.time  newtypeshadow  telepathy  humor  Steve/Bucky  established  unread 
9 weeks ago by southerly
Secret Santa Shenanigans - NotEvenCloseToStraight - Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
It's Christmastime and the perfect time for Steve to admit that he's ready to move from "booty call" to "boyfriend" with Bucky, the perfect time for Bucky to admit he is probably sort of in love with Steve, and the perfect time for them both to finally tell Tony that they definitely aren't joking with all the innuendos and dirty jokes and not-subtle flirting.

There are secret santa shenanigans, mistletoe kisses, ugly christmas sweaters and of course, all the sexy times that comes with Stuckony falling in love.

Pure holiday fluff with our favorite OT3
marvel  avengers  mcu  Steve/Tony/Bucky  first.time  NotEvenCloseToStraight  au  au:mundane  Steve/Bucky  established  pining  humor  holiday  polyamory  sex.in.a.public.location 
january 2019 by southerly
Quentin vs. The Sober Light of Day - BrightWhiteLights - The Magicians (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
A very stupid quest for true love, frozen whale snot, and a delicious ham sandwich.

(Set in an unspecified time when everyone is in Fillory, royal, and relatively happy.)
TheMagicians  Quentin/Eliot  established  BrightWhiteLights  matchmaking  humor 
october 2018 by southerly
Safe Text - swtalmnd - Sherlock (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
John sends a dirty text to Sherlock by mistake. Sherlock texts back...
Sherlock  Sherlock/John  first.time  swtalmnd  pining  humor 
october 2018 by southerly
diamond star halo - jad - Supernatural [Archive of Our Own]
They're doing that thing again, where Cas is staring at Dean with the intensity of a dog trying to remind his owner that it's past dinner time. Dean's staring right back like the first one to blink is buying the next round. Sam's aware there's a conversation going on that he isn't privy to and he's used to it, by this point, but it's still rude.

"So, as I was saying," Sam tries to interrupt the resounding silence, "if we can just figure out a — "

"Sure," Dean says, and Sam stutters to a halt, because sure what? "I mean, yeah. Yes. Dude, you don't even have to ask."

Cas looks like Dean just slapped him in the face, bloodshot eyes comically wide in a how dare you or maybe a are you drunk sort of way. Sam can empathize.
supernatural  dean/castiel  first.time  jad  season11  possessed  humor 
september 2018 by southerly
Peak Homosexual - K_K_TiBal - Supernatural [Archive of Our Own]
You know that thing that happens where you hear something really homophobic in public so you gay it up as much as you can? This is that story.
supernatural  dean/castiel  first.time  K_K_TiBal  au  au:total  au:mundane  academic!au  college  roommates  pretending  humor 
august 2018 by southerly
Can't Kill You, You'll Die! - Reioka - Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
The Asset was sent in to kill Tony Stark before Project insight. Tony Stark is a klutzy mess. The Asset--Bucky--didn't stand a chance.
marvel  avengers  mcu  Steve/Tony/Bucky  first.time  Reioka  au  au:branching  undercover  humor  Steve/Tony  established 
august 2018 by southerly
Reconsidering The Rockets - Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar) - The Avengers (Marvel Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
Prompt: Imagine Tony building Bucky a new arm. But it's Tony, so of course, he goes completely overboard, loading it up with all sorts of ridiculous gadgets and attachments. Bucky loves it. AND: Imagine Tony and Bucky being involved in a lab accident that turns them both into teenagers, but Bucky still has his metal arm and now it's way too big for his body, so he finally lets Tony examine it so he can figure out how it works and make one that actually fits Bucky. They end up arguing because Tony wants to add in all kinds of extra features, but Bucky literally just wants an arm. AND: Imagine jealous James :3
marvel  avengers  mcu  Tony/Bucky  first.time  jaqen_hgar  pining  jealousy  de-aging  humor 
july 2018 by southerly
In Harmony - respoftw - Stargate Atlantis [Archive of Our Own]
It was quite a surprise for Rodney to find out that he had been betrothed to Harmony ever since that first visit.

It was an even a bigger surprise for him to find out that he couldn't follow through on the marriage because he was already married to John.

A fake marriage/pretend relationship fic because, why not?
SGA  McKay/Sheppard  first.time  respoftw  season5  future  pining  pining.for.years  pretending  humor 
july 2018 by southerly
An Issue of Supply - respoftw - Stargate Atlantis [Archive of Our Own]
“One of my soldiers came to see me today. About the Daedalus resupply. Or, what was missing off the Daedalus resupply.”

John has an awkward conversation with Carson and learns something new.
SGA  McKay/Sheppard  first.time  respoftw  season2  humor  pining  pining.for.years  pining!john 
july 2018 by southerly
StarkSpangledWinter - FerociousFandomFighter (CharmedBritannia), StonyAvengerGirl16 (CharmedBritannia) - Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom [Ar
That Damn Flight Suit
Various Locations
Affection
In Sickness and In Health
The Ex Equation
How Good You've Got It
Bucky's Day in Court
Use Your Damn Words
Steve Rogers is a Troll (And His Lovers Love Him For It)
Fun and Games
Toddlers and Trouble
Toddlers and Tinkering
The Hidden Gymnast
When Shit Hits the Fan
Tony the Iron Reindeer
Seperation Makes the Heart Grow Fonder (Though it Still Sucks)
Coddling
marvel  avengers  mcu  Steve/Tony/Bucky  first.time  StonyAvengerGirl16  possessiveness  domestic  hurt/comfort  de-aging  humor  polyamory 
june 2018 by southerly
Special Delivery - Shi_Toyu - The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]
Bucky and Steve have a package and a message, but it's a delivery Bucky really isn't looking forward to making.
marvel  avengers  mcu  Tony/Bucky  first.time  Shi_Toyu  au  au:total  au:mundane  humor 
may 2018 by southerly
What You Mean to Me - Shi_Toyu - Captain America - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]
The first time it happened, it was a complete and total accident. Seriously. Bucky hadn't meant to say it. Tony was just being so damn frustrating and stubborn and beautiful. It just sort of slipped out.
marvel  avengers  mcu  Tony/Bucky  first.time  Shi_Toyu  pining  humor 
may 2018 by southerly
Not Dating - NotEvenCloseToStraight - Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
Steve brings Bucky back to the Tower post- CA:TWS and Bucky seems to be adjusting alright. Except he can’t relax, can’t sleep, and when he tries some self-relief (even when its imagining a certain mouthy genius with a butt that won't quit) nothing seems to work.
Tony understands Bucky's problem– after Afghanistan, it was months before he could relax enough to do that sort of thing, and when he realizes what's going on, he offers to lend a hand.
Bucky is suspicious at first, but Tony has (ahem) magic fingers, and what is originally a one time, fairly awkward moment between near strangers starts to happen more often until its not JUST a helping hand, because now it involves mouths and nakedness and then they are trading kisses and spending the night together and Tony is wearing Bucky’s clothes and stealing his pillows– but its not like they are DATING or anything.

They aren’t…dating, right?
Oh shit.
Are they dating??
marvel  avengers  mcu  Tony/Bucky  first.time  NotEvenCloseToStraight  humor  other.ships 
may 2018 by southerly
It Takes the Truth to Fool Me - jamestiqueeriuskirk - Avengers Assemble (Cartoon) [Archive of Our Own]
After he recovered from the initial shock of learning Thor was in love with him (didn’t just “come home, brother,” “let me help you, brother,” love him but desired him as well, wanted to throw him down in the middle of battle and ravish him – his own brother – wanted to take him hard and fast on hands and knees— Loki stopped thinking about it and got a glass of ice water, because it was making him a little sweaty) he decided the only thing for it would be to seduce him.

There were a number of reasons this was a good, reasonable, practical – just pragmatic, really – plan: regular proximity would afford him a readymade closer strike point, next time he needed one; the intimacy might inspire Thor to spill valuable Avengers’ secrets that could be all kinds of useful to Loki; it might earn him Thor’s lenience (it was already no challenge to escape Avengers’ custody, but it wouldn’t hurt if Thor went even easier on him. Maybe Thor wouldn’t rearrange Loki’s face so severely next time they tussled if he thought it would hurt his chances of rearranging Loki’s guts later).
marvel  avengers  AvengersAssemble  Thor/Loki  first.time  jamestiqueeriuskirk  pining  pining.for.years  humor 
may 2018 by southerly
The (Not So) Great Pretender - RayShippouUchiha - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]
“What,” Tony says softly but with a great depth of feeling, “the actual fuck just happened?”

“I believe, Sir,” JARVIS pipes up from the phone in his pocket, an unnecessary amount of what sounds like glee in his voice, “that you’ve once again managed to maintain your closely guarded secret identity. Truly your subterfuge skills know no bounds."

“You’re an asshole J,” Tony mutters back as he reaches up to rub at his temple. He either has a headache coming on or a blood clot. At this point he’s honestly not sure which he’d prefer.

"I did learn from the best, Sir,” JARVIS tells him sunnily.
marvel  avengers  mcu  Tony/Bucky  first.time  RayShippouUchiha  au  au:mirror  identity.porn  humor  pining  favorite  ★★★★ 
february 2018 by southerly
Unexpected Gifting - mistrstank (dreamingdarkly) - The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]
Based on the Tumblr prompt:
Character A is left as a tribute/human sacrifice to appease the legendary mythical creature. Character B is a would-be hero who arrives to try and save the day. Character C is the mythical creature who never asked for or wanted this tribute, and now has to figure out what to do with all these humans left at their doorstep.

Or in which humans keep invading Tony's territory and he is very confused.
marvel  avengers  Steve/Tony/Bucky  first.time  mistrstank  au  au:fantasy  dragons  shifters  humor  hurt/comfort 
february 2018 by southerly
The Mighty Avenger Adventure Camp - imafriendlydalek, orbingarrow - Avengers Academy (Video Game) [Archive of Our Own]
“What the hell kind of camp leaves a bunch of teenagers on their own in the woods for a week, anyway?”

That’s a valid question, Tony. This isn’t your average summer camp, after all - this is the Mighty Avenger Adventure Camp! Where you’ll learn all the skills you need to get through Survival Week out in the rugged wilderness, and maybe learn a bit about yourself along the way, all while forging new friendships. And maybe a budding romance with that pretty blond Counselor in Training. Too bad counselors and campers shouldn’t date...
marvel  avengers  AvengersAcademy  Steve/Tony  first.time  imafriendlydalek  orbingarrow  au  au:total  au:mundane  modern  academic!au  high.school  college  summer.camp  humor  Bucky/Clint 
january 2018 by southerly
I've Seen You In The World - skyline - Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
You’ve Been Sleeping In The Wild:
With a pint-sized sneaker dangling somewhere near his nose, and another jabbed into his collar bone, Tony takes out the phone Steve gave him.
Nearly punching the buttons, he types, Vision made my kitchen smell like Staten Island and Clint’s kid is nesting on my face. I need you to stop being a child and come home.
(Or, Tony abuses the bat phone.)

I've Seen You In The World:
Pepper's getting married.
Tony's dealing with that about as well as everyone expected.
marvel  avengers  mcu  Steve/Tony  first.time  skyline  pining  CACW  post-movie  captured  clueless  humor 
january 2018 by southerly
Whoa There Cowboy - almaasi - Supernatural [Archive of Our Own]
If you're gonna jerk off, watch something you find sexy, Dean said. There's a dirty cowboy movie on TV, and that suits him perfectly. But he never expected that Cas would want to watch him.
supernatural  dean/castiel  first.time  almaasi  season13  missing.scene  kink  roleplay  humor  pwp 
december 2017 by southerly
need you - ShippingThings - Supergirl (TV 2015) [Archive of Our Own]
Have you ever thought about the fact that Kara’s awkward ass has probably accidentally sexted Lena, and not like “oh I sent this to the wrong person accident” awkward but “I didn’t realize how what I said sounded” awkward?

Well that's what this is.

(Don't worry, the awkwardness pays off)
Supergirl  Kara/Lena  first.time  ShippingThings  humor  kink  lingerie  pwp  f/f 
december 2017 by southerly
Offline - SailorChibi - The Avengers (Marvel Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
The problem with flirting online is that eventually it moves into real life. And Tony is pretty sure that the real life version just isn't going to measure up.
marvel  avengers  mcu  Steve/Tony/Bucky  UST  SailorChibi  au  au:mundane  humor 
december 2017 by southerly
Play Me a Love Song, J - NarutoRox - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]
In which JARVIS decides to play matchmaker, and Bucky and Tony find their song.

From this prompt:
Practical jokes abound. Latest is Jarvis plays theme songs every time one enters the room. James really would like AC/DC's TNT to be his hoping to get Tony to notice him. Instead it's all sappy sweet love or sexy songs. Jarvis playing matchmaker.
marvel  avengers  mcu  Tony/Bucky  first.time  NarutoRox  humor  pining  matchmaking 
december 2017 by southerly
Bad Days - NotEvenCloseToStraight - Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
Prompt: Bucky likes Tony, but is too scared to tell him. What he doesn't know is that every time he has a "winter soldier" moment, he is constantly protecting tony and not letting anyone near him, so tony already knows that Bucky likes him ("genius, remember?"). Bucky finally gets up the courage to talk to Tony, only for Tony to tell him what's been going on and he's been waiting for Bucky to be comfortable enough to actually tell him. Happy ending!
marvel  avengers  mcu  Tony/Bucky  first.time  NotEvenCloseToStraight  humor 
november 2017 by southerly
Savor the Flavor - tisfan - Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
When Bucky finds a new product, he has to buy one of each, just to see what he likes...

When this turns out to be Iron Man branded lip balm... well, Bucky likes it all.
marvel  avengers  mcu  Tony/Bucky  first.time  tisfan  humor 
october 2017 by southerly
50 Ways to Woo Your Lover - tisfan - Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
Bucky has no idea how romance works in the modern era, but he does know one thing; he'll do anything to win the heart of one Tony Stark...
marvel  avengers  mcu  Tony/Bucky  first.time  tisfan  date  humor 
october 2017 by southerly
Kiss Me Thru The Phone - 27dragons, tisfan - Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
Trolling Steve seems like a good idea, right up until Bucky's really, really into the pretend phone sex...

But... seems like maybe Tony's into it, too...
marvel  avengers  mcu  Tony/Bucky  first.time  27dragons  tisfan  kink  phone.sex  humor 
october 2017 by southerly
Falling for It - tisfan - Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
Imagine Tony and Bucky blog Anonymous asks: Hi! Imagine Bucky combining his humor and protectiveness in pranks to get Tony's attention. He's initially indirect because he's new, but he's emboldened gradually! Nothing mean or destructive, just little surprises that are actually gifts or attention. Tony pranks back, but each action hides another goal, to give Bucky opportunities to bond with the Avengers (because he's a genius like that). Extra love for progressively overt flirting to smut. And supportive borderline embarrassed friends
marvel  avengers  mcu  Tony/Bucky  first.time  tisfan  hurt/comfort  humor  pranks 
october 2017 by southerly
Subject to PunTax - tisfan - Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
Combined these two prompts

My favorite OTP headcanon rn is for Person A to be really annoyed like, “Whatever, suck my dick” and for Person B to kneel unflinchingly and pull Person A’s pants down. Bucky is Person A and Tony and Person B.

found this post absolutely hilarious when i thought of Tony and Bucky: “Every time you raise your hand to answer a question in lecture you manage to work a pun in somewhere, and NO ONE ever notices except me. Everyone thinks I’m crazy because I’m always laughing for ‘no reason’ and lately you’ve taken to winking at me every time you drop a joke. I have had ENOUGH I will fucking fight you right in front of the whole class."
marvel  avengers  mcu  Tony/Bucky  first.time  tisfan  au  au:mundane  academic!au  college  humor  unfinished 
october 2017 by southerly
Going Down - orbingarrow - Iron Man - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]
When Clint gets nabbed by the Tracksuit Mafia, Bucky and Tony are the only two Avengers available for a rescue op. It's a shitshow from the start. Tony can't call the suit, Bucky's arm is compromised, and Clint's contribution mostly involves him humming the soundtrack to some 70s porn and making snarky comments from his wall.

Unapologetic fluff, BAMF Bucky and for once Clint Barton has the right idea from the start.
marvel  avengers  mcu  616  Tony/Bucky  first.time  orbingarrow  captured  humor 
september 2017 by southerly
Je Ne Sais Quoi - tisfan - Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
Bucky speaks a lot of languages... and he's particularly fluent whenever Tony's around.

Tony... understands a lot of languages. And lies like a cheap rug.
marvel  avengers  mcu  Tony/Bucky  first.time  tisfan  humor 
september 2017 by southerly
A Fool's Game - sitrusky - Spider-Man - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]
The Parkers' new neighbor is handsome, nice, funny... and spends an awful lot of time with Aunt May? There's no way Wade Wilson is becoming Peter's new uncle. Not on Peter's watch.

Or the one in which Peter is a sleep-deprived college student who jumps too fast at conclusions, and Wade thinks he's doing a good job at flirting with Peter (he isn't).
marvel  Spider-Man  Deadpool  Wade/Peter  first.time  sitrusky  au  au:total  au:mundane  pining  humor  neighbors 
september 2017 by southerly
look at your life, look at your choices - nightwalker - The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]
Steve was aware that his tone was rapidly leaving “hushed whisper” in the dust and careening straight into the territory of “frantic wail” but it was either shatter Bucky’s eardrums or die right there in his cubicle of a heart attack.
marvel  avengers  Steve/Tony  first.time  nightwalker  au  au:total  au:mundane  humor 
july 2017 by southerly
Main Menu - FestiveFerret - Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]
Press Start:
Steve's favourite activity was blowing up a teammate, usually Tony, with a distressing amount of delight for a national icon.

Press Pause:
Of course, their new relationship also meant that “playing dirty” took on a whole new meaning.
And Steve played so dirty.
marvel  avengers  mcu  Steve/Tony  first.time  FestiveFerret  humor  pining 
july 2017 by southerly
Snakeshark! - Sidney Sussex (SidneySussex) - The Avengers (2012) [Archive of Our Own]
Don't go into the water" is pretty good advice.
... That is, if the shark can't come out of the water.
marvel  avengers  mcu  Clint/Coulson  UST  SidneySussex  au  au:mirror  cliché  humor 
july 2017 by southerly
What Lies Behind - kdm103020, xinsomniac1101x (xCapsiclexShellheadx) - The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]
Four months after the Battle of New York, Steve Rogers still hasn't managed to find his footing. The new century is strange and upsetting, and he appears to have no purpose in it. But when SHIELD sends him to liaise with the director of Stark Industries, his life starts to change in ways he could never imagine.

Or, the MCU-rooted AU, in which Steve and Tony both still maintain their secret identities.
marvel  avengers  mcu  Steve/Tony  kdm103020  xinsomniac1101x  post-movie  identity.porn  pining  date  humor  favorite  ★★★★ 
june 2017 by southerly
My Scrumpty Pumpty Dragon Fruit Pie - Lumelle - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling [Archive of Our Own]
When McGonagall insists that Harry and Malfoy should not call each other by last names anymore to promote house unity, they find a way around it. At some point, though, things get sidetracked.
harrypotter  Harry/Draco  first.time  Lumelle  post-canon  what.epilogue?  HogwartsEighthYear  humor 
june 2017 by southerly
Bound - QianLan - Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015) [Archive of Our Own]
It’s supposed to be a simple recon mission, but then Poe and Finn wake up handcuffed to each other with the First Order in hot pursuit.

While they evade Stormtroopers, the universe is going to force them to pretend to be married, to share a bed, and to huddle for warmth, among other things--seems the universe ships it and is ready for these two idiots to just get together already.
StarWars  EpisodeVII  Finn/Poe  first.time  QianLan  post-movie  pining  handcuffed.together  pretending  Canadian.shack  humor  amnesia 
may 2017 by southerly
That Spin I'm In - Werelibrarian, poisonivory - Daredevil (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
"What does that mean?" Matt asks Strange.

"Well, that depends," Strange says, unfolding his legs and letting his feet touch the floor again. Matt gets the distinct impression Strange is hedging. "Are you currently suffering heartbreak?"

Matt very carefully doesn't think about Elektra. Or Karen. Or Foggy. "Let's leave my personal life out of this."

Strange clears his throat. "Yes, well, that option may no longer be on the table."

Matt really hates magic.
marvel  Daredevil  Defenders  mcu  Matt/Foggy  first.time  poisonivory  Werelibrarian  love.spell  humor  pining  pining.for.years  season2  post-season 
april 2017 by southerly
Guys and Bots - Annie D (scaramouche) - Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
Stick With Me, Baby, I’m the Fella You Came in With:
During the final battle with Ultron, Tony kisses Steve for the first time. Afterward, he makes it clear to Steve that he was just running on adrenaline and not thinking clearly. Steve seems to accept it, but the kiss nudges open a door of possibilities, and the situation escalates.

You Gamble on Everything, All Except Me:
Tony learns what it’s like to date Steve.

If I were a Bell:
Officially, Tony hasn't seen Steve since the Sokovia Accords were ratified. Unofficially, Steve is a sneaky bastard who keeps taking risks to see Tony whenever he wants.
marvel  avengers  mcu  AoU  Steve/Tony  first.time  AnnieD  au  au:branching  humor  favorite  ★★★★  CACW 
april 2017 by southerly
Bluntness is a Virtue - Hawkens - Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) [Archive of Our Own]
Drax doesn't beat around the bush with anything. Not his feelings, nor his urges.
I want Drax propositioning someone in such an unbelievably forward and foul-mouthed way that it completely overwhelms them. Bonus points if he has absolutely no idea how lewd he is.
marvel  Guardians  mcu  Drax/Peter  first.time  Hawkens  kink  humor 
april 2017 by southerly
fooled around and fell in love - lucymonster - Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
Intergalactic flirting for dummies.

Or: five times Peter tries to charm Drax, plus one time it actually sort of works.
marvel  Guardians  mcu  Drax/Peter  first.time  lucymonster  #things  date  humor 
april 2017 by southerly
Lay That Heavy Trick On Me - DangerousCommieSubversive - Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
The Guardians take a job robbing an expensive resort, and their floorplans indicate that the best access point to get to where they need to be is in the honeymoon suite. Which means that two of them need to play like they're married.

Peter's not quite sure why he has to be one of the lucky newlyweds. Drax doesn't understand subterfuge. Gamora just keeps laughing at them and it's terrible.
marvel  Guardians  mcu  Drax/Peter  first.time  DangerousCommieSubversive  undercover  pretending  humor 
april 2017 by southerly
I don't know how to say no to this (2017 edition) - TuppingLiberty - Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015) [Archive of Our Own]
Fresh 2017 edition for my ongoing tumblr prompts and so forth. Short ficlets in various AUs or canonverse for Stormpilot.

Chapter 1: Rated T: I accidentally sent my boss a dick pic!
Chapter 2: Rated E: Dom/Transmasculine Poe piles some lovin' on Transmasculine Finn
StarWars  Finn/Poe  first.time  established  TuppingLiberty  au  au:total  au:mundane  modern  humor  pwp  trans!character  unread 
march 2017 by southerly
The Heavens Tumble, Darling, and I'm— - ChibiSquirt - Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
For most of Steve’s life, he’d been certain he was going to meet his soulmate by pissing him off. (Almost certainly a him, although the occasion of the WACs did cause Steve’s heart to stutter for more reasons than just the look of a girl in uniform.) He was sure that the conversation would go something like—

“Something something (probably something sassy), Mr. Soulmate.”

“Captain,” Capt. Soulmate would correct him.

Because that was all it said: Just “CAPTAIN”, all caps, no punctuation, in dark block letters that looked simultaneously angry and precise. So he could probably be forgiven for assuming that it was a correction for a misapplied form of address; after all, it couldn’t be someone addressing him as Captain, could it?

Aha.

Ahahahaha.

Life was very funny.
marvel  avengers  mcu  Steve/Tony  first.time  ChibiSquirt  au  au:mirror  soulmate!au  pining  humor 
march 2017 by southerly
Welcome To Being a Fugitive - flawedamythyst - Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
It took Clint a second to realise that meant that whatever he said next was inscribed somewhere on Barnes's body, and had been his whole life. Aw man, that was a lot of pressure.

Bucky says Clint's words as they escape from The Raft. Clint doesn't know what to say in return.
marvel  avengers  Bucky/Clint  first.time  flawedamythyst  au  au:mirror  soulmate!au  humor 
march 2017 by southerly
Matchmaker, Matchmaker (Or A.I.M. Tries Matchmaking) - inukagome15 - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]
Fed up with the rampant destruction Iron Man wreaks on A.I.M. and the outrageous flirting between Iron Man and Captain America, M.O.D.O.C. decides that the only way to deal with them is to set them up in a romantic relationship. The plan is flawless, after all.
marvel  avengers  MA:A  Steve/Tony  first.time  inukagome15  identity.porn  matchmaking  humor  captured  trapped 
february 2017 by southerly
Highly Questionable - shrift - Almost Human [Archive of Our Own]
"Did you get a full charge last night? Because your colloquialism program is being a dick."
AlmostHuman  Dorian/John  UST  Shrift  undercover  pretending  humor  Yuletide 
january 2017 by southerly
Comparison Chart - Marie_L - Almost Human [Archive of Our Own]
Stuck together on a stakeout, Paul and Kennex compare partner notes. Little do they know Dorian and MX-43 are doing the same.
AlmostHuman  Dorian/John  established  Marie_L  humor  other.ships  Yuletide 
january 2017 by southerly
Talk Dirty To Me - Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar) - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]
Imagine Bucky is smitten with Tony at first sight but Tony's not single. Bucky copes by telling Natasha about all the dirty things he wants to do to Tony in Russian. After Tony's dumped, Bucky still talks about him in Russian only now it's half dirty and half romantic. Natasha finally gets fed up with the morons and says something to Tony in Russian, who replies back (in front of Bucky), because oops, he's fluent and understood all the conversations before. AND Bucky and Natasha talking in Russian about how much Bucky loooves Tony without realizing that Tony speaks Russian as well.

Love at first sight was fairy tale nonsense, and not something Bucky believed in, but lust at first sight? That was straight up primal, and not to be ignored. If given a chance, he would have acted upon it, and how. Except, that didn’t seem likely to happen, as the target of his newfound desire was very much taken.
marvel  avengers  mcu  Tony/Bucky  first.time  jaqen_hgar  canon.ships  pining  clueless  matchmaking  humor 
november 2016 by southerly
Shameless - Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar) - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]
Prompt: imagine Tony and Bucky flirting everywhere, in the tower, out fighting random bad guy of the day over the coms, even out in public. it started as a game to see who could get the other to blush or fluster first but it dissolved into shameless flirting quickly. eventually it's Bucky who cracks first, pushing Tony up against a wall, kissing the living daylights out of him and using that super soldier strength to pick Tony up to hold against the wall. bonus if Clint walks in on them.

Tony isn’t actually sure which of them starts it—he’d like to take credit, but if he’s learned anything it’s that Barnes is by no means a wilting flower. Besides, the start doesn’t matter as much as figuring out who’s going to actually finish it.
marvel  avengers  mcu  Tony/Bucky  first.time  jaqen_hgar  humor 
november 2016 by southerly
Debriefing in Tony's car - MakikoIgami - Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
People are usually surprised how agile Captain America is, despite the bulk of his muscles, his sheer height and weight.
Likewise, people were usually not so surprised that Iron Man wasn't so agile on the ground and close combat. He usually excelled at air combat and elaborate and - admittedly - flashy maneuvers that took him out of the enemy's range.
However, the roles were pretty reversed when it came to Steve Rogers and Tony Stark in the confines of a car
marvel  avengers  mcu  Steve/Tony  established  MakikoIgami  kink  sex.in.a.public.location  car!sex  humor  pwp 
november 2016 by southerly
Sugar in It - RadiatorfromSpace - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]
Kevin believes Loki Laufeyson is a ghost. Loki, jokingly, tells him he's the only one in the universe who can dispatch his vagrant specter.

Kevin believes that, too.
marvel  avengers  mcu  Ghostbusters  Loki/Kevin  first.time  pwp  kink  bdsm  d/s  crossover  humor 
november 2016 by southerly
The Observer Effect - Ishmael - The Flash (TV 2014) [Archive of Our Own]
"Since you got your powers, you've—" Cisco trails off, waving his hands vaguely.
"What?"
Cisco raises his eyebrows and waves his hands more pointedly toward his crotch.
Barry feels his face heating up. "Cisco!"
"I'm asking for science, dude!"
DC  CWDCverse  TheFlash  Barry/Cisco  first.time  Ishmael  season1  humor 
november 2016 by southerly
The Brotastic Adventures Of The Avengers And The Long Suffering Foggy Nelson - cosmicocean - Daredevil (TV), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
Where Foggy accidentally becomes bros with the Avengers, Foggy and Matt talk it out, and the Avengers and Matt don't seem to grasp the concept that the "s" in "friends" is there for a reason.
marvel  Daredevil  avengers  Matt/Foggy  first.time  cosmicocean  humor  hurt/comfort  jealousy  pining 
october 2016 by southerly
Drunk Shenanigans: How to fuck the police - dedlit - Gotham (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
Based on this prompt: I just need Harvey Bullock, Ed, Jim and Oswald to go out for a night on the town and to get rip roaring drunk. If that goes anywhere kinky I will be pleased, but humour and fluff would be excellent.
Gotham  DC  Jim/Oswald  Harvey/Edward  first.time  dedlit  drunk!sex  humor  Jim/Oswald/Harvey/Edward  pwp  polyamory  kink 
october 2016 by southerly
Stiles Stilinski, Boyfriend Extraordinaire - MereLoup - Teen Wolf (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
Stiles never imagined he’d be in Derek’s kitchen cooking a surprise dinner with Derek’s family while they waited for Derek to get home from work.

Partly because their visit was a complete surprise.

But mostly because Stiles didn’t have a boyfriend.

Or even know who Derek was.

But he’d already come this far and Papa didn’t raise no quitter!
TeenWolf  Derek/Stiles  first.time  MereLoup  au  au:mirror  au:mundane  pretending  humor  favorite  ★★★★ 
september 2016 by southerly
played for fools - fantalaimon - The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]
It’s a slow dance, so they wrap their arms around each other and sway while making their very best doe eyes.

“I think we’re doing a really great job,” Steve says, voice barely a whisper.

“Me too,” Tony says. “We’re amazing actors.”
marvel  avengers  Steve/Tony  UST  fantalaimon  pretending  humor 
august 2016 by southerly
Harder/Better/Faster/Stronger - paperclipbitch - Marvel 616 [Archive of Our Own]
Kate didn’t get a medal, which is fine, Clint says he didn’t get a medal his first Olympics either.

She’d be more reassured if half of Clint’s hobbies didn’t involve day drinking and his copious collection of exes, and if he weren’t currently hiding his dog in her room in the athletes’ village.
marvel  YoungAvengers  616  Kate/America  first.time  paperclipbitch  au  au:total  au:mundane  OlympicAU  humor 
august 2016 by southerly
Inconveniences Rightly Considered - susanowa (panickyintheuk) - Marvel Adventures (Comics), Marvel Adventures: Avengers, Marvel Adventures: Iron Man [Archive of Our Own]
A series of adventures, inconveniences and embarrassments in the lives of the Avengers, with a particular focus on Steve Rogers and Tony Stark.

The Assvengers vs. The Moneyman (starring Henry Wellhung):
Peter finds something interesting on reddit and decides to share it with the group. Cap thinks it's disrespectful to poor Mr Stark. Iron Man doesn't seem to be too worried, though. OR, the Avengers watch porn of themselves (and Tony!).

Feeling Like a Schoolboy:
It's Mr Stark's birthday! Iron Man asks Steve for a favor.

The Clinging Vine:
Mr S sends flowers! Everything goes wrong! This summary is misleading!

The Hard Knock Life:
Tony returns from an unscheduled off-grid vacation. Everyone was worried sick! Iron Man has some explaining to do.

A Sharper Image:
Tony needs a date for an event. Jan knows just the person! But what the hell is Steve's problem?

The Real You:
Steve and Tony bump into Jess Drew on their way to lunch. Tony makes a Heartfelt Speech. Steve tries to have an Important Conversation.

Baby, It's You:
Iron Man has an announcement!
marvel  avengers  MA:A  Steve/Tony  first.time  susanowa  humor  pining  identity.porn  ntr  unfinished.series 
august 2016 by southerly
Newts - astolat - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling [Archive of Our Own]
“I’m twenty-eight!” Harry said. “I’ve been an Auror for ten years! You want me to go back to Hogwarts now?"
harrypotter  Harry/Draco  first.time  astolat  post-canon  what.epilogue?  humor 
july 2016 by southerly
Re(a)d All Over - MusicalLuna, brandnewfashion - The Avengers (Marvel Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
Contrary to popular belief, Tony Stark can blush.

It just takes Steve getting drunk on some magical Asgardian mead for it to finally happen.
marvel  avengers  mcu  Steve/Tony  first.time  MusicalLuna  brandnewfashion  humor  matchmaking  magic 
june 2016 by southerly
Stark in Shining Armor - Kylie - Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
"Tony was not going to Wakanda, he just wasn't, virgin sacrifices or not!"

Post-Civil War.
marvel  avengers  mcu  Steve/Tony  first.time  Kylie  matchmaking  pining  humor 
may 2016 by southerly
Cold is Just the Absence of Heat - niennavalier - The Flash (TV 2014) [Archive of Our Own]
Barry Allen finds himself working with Leonard Snart to take down the latest meta of the week. Too bad fighting a telekinetic has its own complications, and the two ultimately find themselves in a...compromising position, to put it lightly.

Well, at least the meta getting away was good for something.
DC  CWDCverse  TheFlash  LegendsofTomorrow  Barry/Len  first.time  niennavalier  humor  matchmaking 
may 2016 by southerly
Who's Scruffy Looking? - JenTheSweetie - The Avengers (Marvel Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
“I don’t know,” Steve said, after Tony finished a six-minute ode to The Dude’s beard. “I mean, I’m not really a fan of beards.”

Tony gave Steve a look of such horror that Steve almost wondered if he’d misspoken and casually mentioned that he’d been tossing puppies off the top floor of Stark Tower.

“You’re not,” he said, “a fan of beards? I mean – but you like my beard.”

Steve tilted his head. “Uh. No, not really a fan of yours, either.”
marvel  avengers  mcu  Steve/Tony  first.time  JenTheSweetie  humor 
april 2016 by southerly
The First Annual 3-Team Holiday Party (aka Leonard regrets his life choices) - kesomon - The Flash (TV 2014) [Archive of Our Own]
In the end, the first annual Legends-Flash-Arrow crew holiday party could be blamed on Sara.

Or, Leonard makes poor life decisions, contemplates homicide, and comes to some uncomfortable realizations. And there is singing.
DC  CWDCverse  TheFlash  LegendsofTomorrow  Barry/Len  UST  kesomon  holiday  humor 
april 2016 by southerly
The Jar - Sineala - Marvel (Comics), Marvel Adventures: Avengers [Archive of Our Own]
The Avengers are ridiculously competitive people, and what starts out as a silly late-night team discussion quickly becomes a contest: their names. Not the code names -- the nicknames. Who can go the longest without using them? They pledge to spend a week not nicknaming each other, and they'll pay up every time they mess up. This hits Tony the hardest, and not just financially. Tony's got a lot of nicknames for everyone, but most of all for Steve -- and when Tony can't use the names he's already got, the names he uses reveal feelings he had no idea he had.
marvel  avengers  616  Steve/Tony  first.time  Sineala  humor 
march 2016 by southerly
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