silentdescant + humour   250

Earthlings Gonna Earth.
Five things that happen when you get stuck on Mars and have to be dramatically rescued. Or, Mark Watney meets pop culture.
themartian  fic  gen  humour 
december 2015 by silentdescant
technicolornina: Fly Away With You
Adam is carrying a book full of Adam/Tommy fanfiction. Tommy finds it. But whose is it, and where did it come from?
bandom  glambert  adam/tommy  first-time  virgin  nc-17  humour  fluff 
march 2011 by silentdescant
The Ninth (Tenth) Time's the Charm
Nine Times Adam Tried To Propose and Failed, One Time That He Didn't
bandom  glambert  adam/tommy  fluff  domestic  humour  pg-13 
february 2011 by silentdescant
Paint your Hide
"A dare with monetary consequences," Cam clarifies. She waves her hand in emphasis and that's when Adam notices the Flip camera in her palm. He'd been a little distracted by his drummer and his bass player's jeans around the tops of their thighs. Oh. And the bright green splats on their right cheeks. The ones visible due to the whole jeans thing, not the ones on their faces. So distracted he hadn't even noticed that his guitar player is holding a paintball gun. But that's not the most important point here, he doesn't think. 
bandom  glambert  adam/tommy  humour  fluff  rimming  nc-17 
december 2010 by silentdescant
The Maze of Love
Adam has fallen for straight guys before. It's not going to happen again. Ever.
bandom  glambert  adam/tommy  first-time  virgin  r  angst  fluff  humour 
december 2010 by silentdescant
Sidewalk Scenes and Black Limousines
There’s cuddling, and there’s flirting, and there’s getting a god damn hand job from your band mate on an airplane.
bandom  glambert  tommy/isaac  gen  fluff  humour  pg-13 
december 2010 by silentdescant
Fair is Fair
The boys dabble in Southern culture near a tour stop…also, there are camels!
bandom  glambert  adam/tommy  gen  pg  fluff  humour 
november 2010 by silentdescant
A Fairy Tale
"And that makes me feel so much better," Neil snarked, rolling his eyes. He jabbed the horse in the sides with his heels, swearing as it jerked into a trot, and did his damndest to aim it towards the makeshift tower. Which was actually a tall tree with some crappily painted sheets pretending they were stone walls. He stopped off-center in front of it, ignoring the laughter from the peanut gallery, and looked up into the branches.

Tommy was sitting up there, dressed in a "tunic" that was actually a shirt borrowed from Adam, tights, and some low-heeled ankle boots. He was swinging his feet in the air, and Neil would swear up and down he was smirking at him. Little shit.
bandom  glambert  tommy/neil  pg-13  fluff  crack  humour 
november 2010 by silentdescant
loud (you were always good at putting words together)
"Are you not listening? Do we have a bad connection? With the guy on that show you watch. The one about saving the cheerleader?"

There's just no way. No way that Adam pined - fucking PINED - for three years, and now two weeks after Kris's divorce is final the stupid little fucker decides to go gay for someone else.

"And you have a date with the cheerleader, right? That's who you meant. Hay Hay Panettiere. Petite, blonde, man-eater? Because that's your type."
bandom  glambert  adam/kris  angst  humour  pg-13  kris/omc  first-time 
november 2010 by silentdescant
Make Yourself at Home
Looking at your boss's sex toys is one thing. Using them is probably another.
bandom  glambert  adam/tommy  first-time  wanking  humour  nc-17  fluff 
november 2010 by silentdescant
Fantasy
Adam fucks Tommy with the hilt of his sword. Jackpot if they're playing Tommy's fantasies.
bandom  glambert  adam/tommy  fluff  historical  roleplay  nc-17  humour 
november 2010 by silentdescant
Who Cares About Tomorrow, I Need Your Love Tonight
He'd figured Brad would be an easy introduction into the wonderful world of gay sex. Or, well, he'd figured that Brad was both versatile (Tommy could work the internet and watch Brad's youtube channel, thank you) and his dick was a hell of a lot smaller than Adam's. Adam's dick, even laced up in leather pants, terrified the crap out of Tommy. That, and Brad was incredibly casual about hookups so they could fuck, Tommy could work out if having something up his ass was a lifestyle choice he wanted to make, and nothing else would happen. Brad was supposed to be a safe choice. And now he was laughing at Tommy's junk.
bandom  glambert  adam/tommy  tommy/brad  nc-17  first-time  virgin  angst  h/c  humour  fluff 
november 2010 by silentdescant
Metallica
Tommy can't help but push. Adam lets him.
bandom  glambert  adam/tommy  nc-17  bdsm  fluff  humour 
november 2010 by silentdescant
Any Which Way
One way into Adam's big bed is by way of sex. That's a really good way, actually. [implied adam/taylor, tommy/liz]
bandom  glambert  adam/tommy  nc-17  fluff  humour 
september 2010 by silentdescant
Six Ways
[five ways Adam and Tommy didn't come out as a couple and one way they did]

Okay, so maybe it’s kind of mean. But it’s not like they tweet about it, right? No one knows but the two of them, and what other people don’t know can’t hurt them.

At least that’s what Adam and Tommy tell themselves when they sit next to each other on Adam’s bed in the tour bus, open up their laptops, and laugh for a few hours at the fanfiction they find about themselves. Sometimes it’s a contest: who can find the worst grammar? The most melodramatic dialogue? The hottest sex scene? (Ok, that last one they’ve only done once, and of course their reaction to it – late night raucous sex that woke the entire bus - didn’t mean anything, although that particular game didn’t seem so funny later.)

It’s Tommy who laughs first tonight, even though Adam’s the faster reader between the two of them. Adam immediately leans over his shoulder and reads.
bandom  glambert  adam/tommy  fluff  domestic  pg-13  humour 
september 2010 by silentdescant
glam_bingo ficlets
Kink: Dressing Up/Cross Dressing, Games: I Never, Future: Marriage, Kink: Biting
bandom  glambert  adam/tommy  crossdressing  humour  first-time  fluff  nc-17 
august 2010 by silentdescant
Big Brother - The Starving Artists Edition
Lambliff BigBrother AU: Adam and Tommy move into the Big Brother house. Friends and other members of Glamnation (Brad, Cassidy, Monte, Liz, Sasha, etc.) are there as well. . The rest can be up to the author, however I would love it if Kris was an "evil" competitor. :D
bandom  glambert  au  adam/tommy  first-time  fluff  humour  nc-17 
august 2010 by silentdescant
favors and favors
Ariadne crashes date night. She attempts to make reparations.
inception  arthur/eames  fluff  domestic  humour  crack  pg-13 
august 2010 by silentdescant
Look! Up In The Sky!
just over 1000 words of Superhero!Adam
bandom  glambert  au  adam/tommy  bexless  crack  humour  pg  fluff 
august 2010 by silentdescant
jibrailis: Fic: The Short Fuse and the Long Con
"Is Arthur gay?" Eames wondered.

"Bisexual, I think. He had that flirtation with Ariadne. And he is sleeping with Cobb," Yusuf said peaceably. "Then there was that time I walked in on him and Saito. I was surprised. But also strangely educated. I didn't know people could fit a whole--"

Eames choked.

"I could give you something for blood pressure too," Yusuf offered. "Ah, I am such a good friend."
inception  arthur/eames  arthur/cobb  arthur/saito  arthur/omc  r  angst  humour  first-time 
august 2010 by silentdescant
just because a man visits another man doesn't mean they're doing anything illegal (yet)
"I hate you," Arthur says with full sincerity.

Eames smiles, rivulets of water dripping from his chin. "I love you, too," he says, wringing out the hem of his hideous, fraying olive green jacket. The water pools on Arthur's freshly Swiffered floorboards. "But do you mind if we put off the sex talk long enough for you to fetch me a towel?"
inception  arthur/eames  first-time  fluff  humour  r 
august 2010 by silentdescant
Sort of Revolution
The first night Arthur stays over, the alarm goes off at 8:00am. Eames looks over at Arthur, who has half his face shoved into the pillow; he has only one eye open.

“Morning,” Eames greets. He goes to kiss Arthur, who turns his face all the way into the pillow at the last second. Eames ends up kissing his ear instead, which, just as well. He makes the most of it. Arthur doesn’t even twitch when Eames bites at the shell of his ear before getting out of bed.
inception  arthur/eames  fluff  domestic  humour  pg 
august 2010 by silentdescant
Five Songs Eames Can't Sing (and the One Arthur Can)
Eames likes Jimmy Buffet and John Mellancamp and Billy Joel. Arthur doesn't. Eames likes to blast the radio. Arthur doesn't. Eames likes to sing in the car. Arthur doesn't. Eames is tonedeaf. Arthur . . . surprisingly isn't. Pre-film.
inception  arthur/eames  fluff  pg-13  humour  arty_darc 
august 2010 by silentdescant
Arthur/Eames - object insertion
Eames convinces Arthur that it would be really hot if Arthur had a dildo/buttplug/vibrator in him all day, and Arthur reluctantly agrees. Only to realise he's more sensitive than he thought.

I would like Arthur really turned on but struggling not to show it, and biting his lip to maintain his usual appearance. Maybe he could squirm a little and blush too. And Eames is kind of an ass so, you know, he'd be making pointed remarks about the stick up Arthur's ass, or smacking Arthur on the ass or something. (If it is a vibrator maybe Eames could turn it on at random moments when Arthur is in the middle of SERIOUS WORK.)

And maybe if Arthur lasts the whole day without taking it out he gets the reward of HOT SEX FROM EAMES.
inception  arthur/eames  nc-17  pwp  fluff  humour 
august 2010 by silentdescant
The Sex Jacket Incident
Gerard accidentally buys a sex jacket. Frank is not pleased.
bandom  mcr  frank/gerard  highschool  humour  crack  fob  msi  au  nokomis305  pg-13  fluff  multiplepairings  mikey/pete 
july 2010 by silentdescant
Life On Mars
"With you?" said Adam, and arched his eyebrow. He'd been practicing that too. He was getting pretty good at it, he thought, except you couldn't really see his eyebrows which kind of ruined the effect. He grabbed his eyebrow pencil and started filling them in. "Unlikely. You're supposed to be practicing the piano anyway, Mom said."

"Your mom said," said Neil, which didn't even make any sense, and then suddenly there was a man standing in the room.
bandom  gen  humour  timetravel  g  bexless  glambert 
may 2010 by silentdescant
Competitive Streak (Frank/Gerard sex tape fic)
Gerard doesn't want to be the only Way brother without a sex tape. Sort-of sequel to the Pete/Mikey sex tape fic 10:32: Length of a scandal
bandom  mcr  frank/gerard  mikey/pete  fluff  exhibitionism  humour  nc-17 
may 2010 by silentdescant
In Which Jeph Howard Is A Porno Tycoon
MEN’S DAY: Our readers would like to know; what exactly is your position in Hugh Jephner’s house?

IERO: Well, I’m his ‘number one’ boyfriend, so to speak.
bandom  mcr  theused  au  frank/jepha  multiplepairings  crack  humour  fluff  nc-17 
april 2010 by silentdescant
It's Not A Side Effect of the Triple Axel (I'm Thinking It Must Be Love)
If not for Alicia, Mikey never would have stepped on to the ice, let alone become a figure skater. Now, over 15 years later, Vancouver is Mikey's last chance for Olympic Gold. If he doesn't get distracted by snowboarder Pete Wentz, that is.
bandom  mcr  figureskating  crossover  au  mikey/pete  fluff  first-time  fob  frank/gerard/brian  bbb  bbb10  brendon/ryan  patd  pg-13  humour 
april 2010 by silentdescant
No Experience Necessary
Gerard accidentally lands a job at a pizza store and even though the pay is shit, the guys he works with are pretty cool. Soon he’s made all the friends he missed out on in high school and he actually has something to do on a Friday night. Everything's great until he realizes he’s got a hard-on for his cute punk workmate Frank, who is, in all likelihood, straight.

Featuring store-based pranks, a moshpit, a black eye, frosting licking, sex on a picnic table, an army of zombie pizza boys and gratuitous mentions of The Cake Of The Week.
bandom  mcr  au  frank/gerard  mikey/ray  nc-17  first-time  virgin  fluff  humour  bbb  bbb10  public  angst 
april 2010 by silentdescant
Typeface
Frank doesn’t mind when Gerard comes home with nearly two grand’s worth of art supplies. He really doesn’t. It makes Gerard happy, and it’s well within their means, and, well. Gerard could spend two thousand bucks on worse things than pens, really. He could be coming home with 2 grand in chicken wings. Or 4 ponies to stable in the backyard. Ponies that Frank would end up having to groom, and feed, all the while wishing he knew how to ride a goddamn horse.

So. Pens he can deal with. He just grins at the sheepish expression on Gerard’s face when he comes through the door, arms full of paper bags, and helps him put them away in the studio.

But what Frank can’t deal with is Gerard boarding himself up in there with his newly bought art supplies, after Frank spent a whole morning watching him dress up in tight jeans and pout into the camera.
bandom  mcr  frank/gerard  fluff  humour  nc-17 
april 2010 by silentdescant
Kittens are a valid coping mechanism.
There was a pause, and then a rustling. Brian slid into the driver's seat and closed the door, and watched the kitten squeeze out from beneath the passenger seat.

It wasn't the sort of thing that happened automatically every single time Bob got upset, and he hid it pretty well. Bob really was a pretty badass, take no shit motherfucker, and he generally dealt with things just fine as a human guy. When he couldn't deal, though, and needed some kitten time to help him decompress, he always found ways to do it on his own. Nobody knew, except Bob's family (obviously, since it was genetic) and Brian.
bandom  mcr  gen  bob/brian  fluff  angst  h/c  humour  fantasy  pg 
april 2010 by silentdescant
Regressed, Misplaced, Sided, and Displaced
Bob turns into a 3 year old, Mikey turns into a cat, Gerard gets a past-self doppelganger, and Mikey and Gerard switch bodies.
bandom  mcr  frank/gerard  crack  mikey/pete  bodyswap  fantasy  humour  doppelganger  first-time  fluff 
february 2010 by silentdescant
Is it Too Soon to Say I Love You?
Billy stopped walking abruptly and Dom walked into him. Billy grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and whispered hotly into his ear.

“I’m sorry, Dom. What I meant was: do you want to go back to mine and get undressed, by which I mean take all of our clothes off so we are naked, and then, if you’d be so kind, I’d like you to try as hard as you can to impregnate my tonsils or my lower digestive track. Even if it’s not possible, I’d like to pretend it is in the kinkiest way imaginable. If your imagination surpasses Orli’s, please, do share.”
lotrips  billy/dom  fluff  first-time  humour  angst  billy/ali  r  hyacinth_sky747 
february 2010 by silentdescant
Genderswap, Boarding School AU
"What's what? You hear something?"

"No," Gee said, frowning, wiggling back against Frankie some more. "I mean, what's that?"

"What's – " Frankie started again, but then Gee heard the moment when things clicked. "What is that?" she agreed, shifting her hips against Gee, and the mattress shook as she squirmed around, then let out a little yelp. "What the crap?" she demanded. "Seriously, what the shit, Gee?" She was flailing out of bed, grabbing for the lamp, and when the light flickered on, Gee squinted against it to see Frankie standing there groping herself.
bandom  mcr  au  frank/gerard  genderfuck  humour  het  nc-17  fluff  highschool 
february 2010 by silentdescant
Anyone You Want
Frank hits play on the stereo and smiles in anticipation. The keyboard riff that starts the disc quickly gives way to chugging guitars and distant vocals and he just stands there with his eyes closed and lets it all wash over him, tries to soak it in through his pores by osmosis or some shit. He flushes warm as he listens, like the temperature in his room just shot up twenty degrees, and he's getting a huge fucking boner. It feels fucking awesome.

He focuses hard on feeling the moment until he starts to get a little light-headed, then he crosses the room, grabbing a magazine off the dresser as he goes. He sits down on the edge of his bed, knees together, and spreads the magazine across his lap. It falls open easily to a dog-eared page and he smoothes down the glossy sheet with a gentle hand. "Hi," he says to the guy staring up at him from the spread.
bandom  mcr  frank/gerard  frank/julian  unrequited  wanking  fluff  dirtytalk  humour  thesamefire  nc-17 
february 2010 by silentdescant
Talking Points
Frank was halfway through the door into Gerard's suite when he heard Greta calling back to him, "Yes, Mr. President," and then adding under her breath, "I'm gonna fucking kick your teeth in," in a quiet singsong. She glanced up, startled, as Frank shut the door behind him. "I didn't mean it," she told him quickly.

"After today?" Frank asked. "I sure do. If I was tall enough…" he mused, then turned to size up Big Worm, standing guard by the President's bedroom. "What do you say?" he asked. "There'd be good money in it for you. We'd pool our salaries for a week. What's that for you, Greta, a few bucks?" [Frank/Gerard ficlet in the White House AU]
bandom  mcr  au  frank/gerard  nc-17  fluff  h/c  humour 
february 2010 by silentdescant
tie your monster down
“You want me to be a team leader in the field. As a field agent. Leading a team of other field agents,” Gerard recites, tilting his head to the side to show how incredibly stupid he thinks the idea is.
bandom  mcr  au  frank/gerard  angst  nc-17  mikey/alicia  alcohol  stereomer  violence  humour  fob 
february 2010 by silentdescant
hotheaded a-hole frank: commentspam.
asshole!frank and socially awkward!gerard would make a perfect match. frank blows him off to go drinking! gerard blows him off by saying he's busy when really, he just spends the night sitting in his room, enjoying solitude! yesssss.
bandom  mcr  au  frank/gerard  sinsense  nc-17  blowjob  violence  humour  notfic 
january 2010 by silentdescant
RDJ/Jude Law filming
"and oftentimes [Guy Ritchie] would congratulate both of us on finally being able to deliver some sort of performance approaching heterosexual."

I request one of these instances where RDJ and Jude Law very much failed to deliver any sort of semblance of heterosexuality, to Guy Ritchie's fond exasperation! Please, let there be snogging.
sherlockholmes  holmes/watson  rdj/jude  humour  fluff  pg 
january 2010 by silentdescant
fandom tropes, part 1; mpreg, huddling for warmth; truth or dare
It was about two weeks after Mikey learned he was going to be an uncle that he walked into the lounge to find Frank stretched out on the couch, leaning forward, poking gingerly at his stomach.

"Are you trying to communicate with it?" Mikey asked.
bandom  mcr  frank/gerard  mpreg  fluff  gerard/bob  fob  pete/patrick  pg-13  nc-17  humour 
january 2010 by silentdescant
Breakdown on the L.I.E.
Loosely based on an incident mentioned both by Frank and Gerard about Pencey Prep's van breaking down in Long Island.
bandom  mcr  penceyprep  frank/gerard  first-time  drugs  fluff  humour  nc-17 
january 2010 by silentdescant
A Matter of Logistics
Frank would like to know the logistics of going down on girls. Gerard can help him with that.
bandom  mcr  frank/gerard  au  highschool  college  humour  rimming  first-time  nc-17 
january 2010 by silentdescant
Rhapsody in Blue
"What did you do to Bob's stuff this time?" Mikey said.

Frank pulled a shocked, innocent face. "I didn't touch anything of Bob's, Mikey. Why would you even say that?"

"Because you always fuck with everyone's shit when you get bored, and he's the only person on the shuttle with you," Mikey said. "And you guys have been in transit for almost five hours."
bandom  mcr  au  frank/bob  humour  pg-13  space  fluff 
january 2010 by silentdescant
There Are Worse Things Than Tentacles
"But wait," Bob said. "Why does you having tentacles mean we can't date anymore?"
bandom  mcr  mikey/bob  nc-17  tentacles  fluff  humour 
january 2010 by silentdescant
The Flaming Box of Fiery Doom // The Knife-Throwing Trick
Bob did not actually know he was applying to be a magician's assistant. He thought he was applying to build sets for a play. (Whether this was because Bob did not read the job advertisement well or because Gerard did not write it well is a matter of debate.) He was a little bit confused when he showed up and most of the other applicants were pretty young women in revealing outfits, and he was even more confused when his interview consisted of a dude pacing along the stage, rambling about hats and rabbits and saws, and then saying, "Go stand over there, I'm going to throw knives at you."

He was confused, but he really needed the money. After he got the job, he asked Gerard why he'd picked Bob rather than any of the pretty women in revealing outfits, and Gerard said something about natural talent and a new style for the show and other nonsense.
bandom  mcr  au  pg-13  gerard/bob  fob  humour  first-time  fluff 
january 2010 by silentdescant
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