shadowkeeper + -fakerelationship   175

(coming for the king, that's) a far cry - lipgallagher - Stranger Things (TV 2016) [Archive of Our Own]
When Billy's done in the cereal aisle, there's so many fucking people ahead of him, in all of the lines, and he's got to go pick up Max, and now he's going to be late, and Dad's going to kill him, and.

And Harrington's up by the front of one of the lines.

He whistles, waves when he catches Billy looking at him, calls out, "Babe, I'm over here." When Billy pushes through the crowd, gets up to the counter, he can hear Harrington telling the cashier, in this weird soft fond voice, "I gotta just get him on a leash, or something; this is getting ridiculous."

Billy raises an eyebrow.

Harrington gives him an innocent smile. "What's wrong, babe?"

Billy presses up against Harrington's back, loops his arms around Harrington, smiles at the blushing cashier. He ducks his head, just for a second, presses his face in against Harrington's neck, before he murmurs, "Goddamn, sweetheart. People don't need to know all of our business."

ALTERNATIVELY: billy and steve 'pretend' to be gay boyfriends in love for what is essentially just extremely small-time personal gain.
fic  strangerthings  -fakerelationship  pairing:billy/steve  [10-20k 
4 weeks ago by shadowkeeper
Playing the Part - ElektricAngel - James Bond (Craig movies) [Archive of Our Own]
James Bond comes into Q Branch after a mission with all of his equipment accounted for and in tact, and a complete mission report in Q's inbox. Q is pleasantly surprised and more than a little suspicious. Rightly so, as it happens, because Bond makes an unusual request of him. And yet, his license to kill is not the only thing that makes the man difficult to say no to...
fic  jamesbond  -fakerelationship  pairing:bond/q  [20-30k 
7 weeks ago by shadowkeeper
Past the Last Exit - Annakovsky - Veep [Archive of Our Own]
Once you're accidentally married for political expediency, accidentally having a baby for political expediency is just the next logical step.

Part 2 of the Hand in Unlovable Hand series
fic  veep  -fakerelationship  pairing:amy/dan  [10-20k 
8 weeks ago by shadowkeeper
Kindling - gleamingandwholeanddeadly (something_safe) - Hannibal (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
“You should take a date to your fundraiser."
“Yes, perhaps you’re right. It would be improper to invite someone under false pretence, mind, and for my patient to understand, the evidence would need to be… compelling.”
“Perhaps an ex-girlfriend,” Will says, unsure why the thought makes him feel flat and remote.
“That would be incredibly inappropriate.”
“A friend then. Someone you can explain the problem to. You could take-”
“You,” Hannibal interjects.
The words belly-flop into silence. Will’s mouth opens, and then closes, and then opens again.

When Franklyn's advances of friendship become too much for even Hannibal to politely ignore, he enlists Will's help.
fic  hannibal  -fakerelationship  pairing:hannibal/will  [10-20k 
11 weeks ago by shadowkeeper
You, Soft and Only - thehoyden - Good Omens (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
He hadn’t expected a sudden lapful of angel.

“Very sorry about this,” Aziraphale said, and kissed him.
fic  goodomens  -fakerelationship  pairing:aziraphale/crowley  [5-10k 
11 weeks ago by shadowkeeper
Simple Things - manic_intent - John Wick (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
John stared, incredulous. “You want me to be your plus one. To your sister’s coronation.”

“To put it crudely, yes.” Santino wrinkled his nose. Trust the Baba Yaga to cut brutally to the point.

“No shooting anyone?”

“If you feel you have to, be my guest. It’s entirely optional. I’d also prefer that you clear something like that ahead of time with me. As a matter of courtesy.”
fic  johnwick  au  -alternatetimeline  -fakerelationship  pairing:john/santino  [5-10k 
may 2019 by shadowkeeper
Blooded Crown - astolat - Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game) [Archive of Our Own]
“You need not thank me,” Emhyr said. “I have an ulterior motive.”

It annoyed Geralt to be surprised. He should’ve known from the start. “Yeah?” The words came out with a little bite. “Have another daughter you need me to track down?”

“If I wished to hire you, I would hire you,” Emhyr said. “No: I want you to come to my bed.”
fic  witcher  -fakerelationship  pairing:geralt/emhyr  [20-30k 
may 2019 by shadowkeeper
all you've got to do is say yes - janie_tangerine - A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin [Archive of Our Own]
Brienne visibly swallows and gives him a look. A look that she’s given him plenty of times since they set for the Vale to see if they could really find Sansa after burying what was left of her mother. That look says please just go along with whatever I’m going to say right now.

She doesn’t even leave him time to nod. She turns to Sansa and the opens her mouth, and - what comes out of it is not what he had expected.

“We’re married,” Brienne says, her voice incredibly steady considering how bad of a liar she is, and her hand reaches out and her fingers curl around the ones of his left hand.
fic  gameofthrones  -fakerelationship  pairing:jamie/brienne  [1-5k 
april 2019 by shadowkeeper
The High Road - elandrialore - Criminal Minds [Archive of Our Own]
A bully from Reid's past recognizes him when Morgan and Reid are out decompressing after a case. When the bully starts making fun of pale/skinny/geeky Reid who couldn't get a date back in the day, Morgan steps up and pretends to be Reid's boyfriend. Cue bully surprise and backing off, but they have to keep up the charade until the bully leaves the club.
fic  criminalminds  -fakerelationship  pairing:morgan/reid  [1-5k 
april 2019 by shadowkeeper
Imaginary - PrioritiesSorted - A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin [Archive of Our Own]
"We already live together, and you’re exactly the sort of person who would insist on eloping instead of enduring the sickening display of wealth my Father would term a wedding. Besides, here we are, on a Friday night, eating take away, watching movies, and not having sex. We’re practically married anyway.” Jaime shrugged as though this was a perfectly reasonable thing to say, and Brienne gaped at him for a moment before huffing,

“I’m not doing it.”
fic  gameofthrones  au  -modernday  -fakerelationship  pairing:jamie/brienne  [5-10k 
april 2019 by shadowkeeper
Failed Application of Thought - RuArcher (Coriesocks) - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling [Archive of Our Own]
Draco sighed, knowing he would live to regret his next words, “I’m willing to do anything it takes to get Scorpius the life he deserves, even if that means pretending to be madly in love with you, you intolerable buffoon.”
fic  harrypotter  -fakerelationship  pairing:harry/draco  [60-70k 
april 2019 by shadowkeeper
Counterfeit Boyfriend - Shortsnout - Iron Man (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
When Stephen gets invited to go back and give the speech he was meant to before his accident, he’s touched, excited but also conflicted. His ex-boyfriend, Nicodemus West will also be in attendance and Stephen doesn’t want to go to the event and give him the satisfaction of knowing Stephen is still single, that he still hasn’t found anyone to love.

Thankfully, his close friend Tony Stark is willing to act as his boyfriend for the night, allowing Stephen to save face. What Stephen didn’t realise was just how easy pretence could morph into reality. Spending the evening with Tony as his boyfriend makes the sorcerer wish he could be for real.

As he told Tony before, he’d never experienced the fabled butterflies in the stomach, the world slowing around him, any of that romantic cliché crap that usually sprang from first encounters.

Looking at Tony waiting for him…

The imaginary butterflies flew into him, winding him, making the world stop on its axis.

Part 1 of the Recurring Themes series
fic  marvel  -fakerelationship  pairing:tony/stephen  [10-20k 
march 2019 by shadowkeeper
people can surprise you (or not) - pdameron - James Bond (Craig movies) [Archive of Our Own]
“I’m not you, Bond. I don’t exactly have a technique for getting rich strangers to like me.”

“Just do your naive cute puppy thing, and they’ll be doting on you in no time,” Bond replies as he pulls up to the grand estate.

“My what?” Q asks incredulously. Bond doesn’t answer, simply giving him an indulgent smile. The fucker.

(or: 00q meets Gosford Park. Except not really.)
fic  jamesbond  -fakerelationship  pairing:bond/q  [10-20k 
march 2019 by shadowkeeper
mistletoe and other holiday propaganda - ToAStranger, brawlite - Stranger Things (TV 2016) [Archive of Our Own]
Everybody wants something for Christmas.

It just so happens that the only way for everyone to get what they want is for Billy and Steve to pretend to be dating over Christmas break. It's really the only option.
fic  strangerthings  au  -modernday  -fakerelationship  pairing:billy/steve  [50-60k 
february 2019 by shadowkeeper
A Family Man - Anonymous - Society of Gentlemen - K. J. Charles [Archive of Our Own]
Julius wasn't generally one for the bar on a Tuesday evening, but the office gossip that day had made clear to him that if he wanted to show up his competition and secure his promotion once and for all, he'd better bring a plus one to the company holiday party on Friday.
fic  societyofgentlemen  ;kjcharles  pairing:julius/harry  au  -modernday  -fakerelationship  [5-10k 
january 2019 by shadowkeeper
Hesitation - Anonymous - Mulan (1998) [Archive of Our Own]
Mulan and Shang are sent on a mission to take down a corrupt governor by the Emperor. And this will be routine, only they're meant to go as husband and wife, and Shang has already spent months trying to gather up the courage to ask Mulan for permission to court her.
fic  mulan  disney  pairing:mulan/shang  -fakerelationship  [1-5k 
december 2018 by shadowkeeper
Maybe we're in love - Anonymous - Mulan (1998) [Archive of Our Own]
The matchmaker finds Mulan a general to marry named Li Shang. He’s handsome, but they’re not in love. But Mulan will never dishonor her family by declining the match and resigns herself to a life of waiting for her husband to come back from battle. Until the war happens, and she realizes, she’s not very good at waiting and she is not going to let her father die.
fic  mulan  disney  pairing:mulan/shang  -fakerelationship  -alternatetimeline  [1-5k 
december 2018 by shadowkeeper
we’ll make a brand new start of it (in old new york) - Anonymous - Buzzfeed: Worth It (Web Series) [Archive of Our Own]
“Just to be clear,” Andrew says. “You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend at a party to spite your high school bully and your high school girlfriend and possibly the entire state of Ohio?”

Steven giggles. “Spite’s such a harsh word. Shock and impress, maybe.”

“For a man of faith you’re being awfully morally flexible about this,” Andrew says.
fic  buzzfeed  pairing:rps  [5-10k  -fakerelationship 
december 2018 by shadowkeeper
Albania Seein' You - Anonymous - Better Off Ted [Archive of Our Own]
“It’s just a little fugitive situation, that’s all. A few run-ins with the Education Minister of Albania, a couple martinis, a gun or three, and then boom, you’re on the run for two years until you can escape to America and run a company—you know how it is.” Or, the one where Veronica needs to date and marry Ted to stay in the country, and he agrees out of friendship, but then feelings happen and it's complicated.
fic  betteroffted  pairing:ted/veronica  -fakerelationship  [1-5k 
december 2018 by shadowkeeper
First Date - HalcyonFrost, STARSdidathing - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]
This isn't the first time Loki's been stood up by his soon-to-be ex-boyfriend, but it doesn't make it any less of a horrible night. Or, it could have been, if a handsome stranger hadn't come over and sat at Loki's table, pretending to be his late date.
fic  marvel  au  -realworld  -fakerelationship  pairing:loki/tony  [1-5k 
december 2018 by shadowkeeper
A Delicate Arrangement - TheLadyMagician - Dragon Age: Inquisition [Archive of Our Own]
Dorian's parents come to Skyhold to take him away based on a deal Dorian and his father made a long time ago that if Dorian was not in a relationship by a certain age, Halward could marry him to Livia Herathinos. No questions asked.

Cullen only sees one way to ensure his chess partner stays in Skyhold. They only need to fake being in a relationship long enough to get Dorian's parents out of Skyhold anyway. How hard could it be to complete the Tevinter courtship rituals?

;_; no updates since 2016
fic  dragonage  -fakerelationship  pairing:dorian/cullen  [40-50k  wip  ;inqusition 
september 2018 by shadowkeeper
Going to the Chapel - nicKnack22 - Supernatural [Archive of Our Own]
And they're gonna get married...At least, Sam and Sarah are. Dean and Cas are just pretending so that Sam's in-laws will cut him some slack. That's what Dean keeps telling himself anyway, as the lines between real and pretend start to blur, and he and Cas become closer and closer in the lead up to the big day
fic  supernatural  -fakerelationship  pairing:dean/castiel  [10-20k 
july 2018 by shadowkeeper
so into you, i can barely breathe - ginnydear - Love Simon (2018) [Archive of Our Own]
“So, where’s your friend today?” Nick asks, and Simon pointedly doesn’t look up at him.

“You’re my friend and you’re right here,” Simon replies, to which Nick laughs.

“You know who I’m talking about,” Nick says, low enough that it’s just meant for Simon. Looking up from the book, Simon grabs his coffee cup and brings it to his lips. He stares Nick down as he takes a sip.

a 'fake dating' au where simon's oblivious and bram's cute. spierfeld week, day six.
fic  lovesimon  au  -coffeeshop  -fakerelationship  -university  pairing:simon/bram  [1-5k 
july 2018 by shadowkeeper
The Wedding Night - 60r3d0m - Supernatural [Archive of Our Own]
When a monster starts targeting newlywed couples, Dean does the logical thing and offers his hand in marriage. Cas accepts.

And it's all going good. Maybe Dean's a little too dedicated to the ruse when he accidentally calls Cas 'sweetheart' in private a couple of times, and maybe he kind of takes it upon himself to be the Best Husband Ever, ushering him around with a hand to the small of his back while uttering a disproportionate amount of praise, but other than that, it's all under control.

But then the monster attacks and Cas doesn't remember anything anymore.

And then there's a snooping innkeeper who makes it impossible to tell Cas about their sham marriage.

And it probably doesn't help that it happens to be their wedding night and Cas is intent on seeing their consummation through.
fic  supernatural  -fakerelationship  pairing:dean/castiel  [1-5k 
july 2018 by shadowkeeper
dirtynumbangelboy - magpie_fngrl - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling [Archive of Our Own]
After Harry’s unfortunate encounter with his ex, Draco Malfoy makes him a proposition. Draco wants his parents to stop matchmaking him and Harry wants to make his ex jealous. All they need to do is simply pretend they’re in love. Problem is… Draco already is.
fic  harrypotter  -fakerelationship  pairing:harry/draco  [30-40k 
may 2018 by shadowkeeper
Lovefool - Kittendiamore - Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat [Archive of Our Own]
It starts, embarrassingly enough, with an ad from Craigslist:

"I’m a 21 y.o art student (male), writing a thesis on the relationship between performance and the awareness of the audience. You don’t care about that. I’m an actor offering to give you the most dramatic night of your life. I’ll be your date to any event/function/family gathering, and convince your friends/family members that I’m either: the biggest mistake of your life or the best thing that ever happened to you. Up to you. I’m very good at what I do."
fic  captiveprince  au  -modernday  -fakerelationship  pairing:damen/laurent  [1-5k 
february 2018 by shadowkeeper
crust and sugar over - ShanaStoryteller - Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime) [Archive of Our Own]
Katsuki sits cross-legged, clearly in no hurry to go anywhere. “What’s your name? I’m –”

“I know who you are,” he cuts him off, then blushes, then hates himself for both those things. Katsuki looks surprised, and Yuri can’t think as to why. He’s a nationally ranked figure skater. He’s Yuri’s favorite figure skater.


Yuuri and Yuri become friends and Viktor develops a crush.
fic  yurionice  au  -alternatetimeline  -fakerelationship  pairing:yuuri/victor  [30-40k 
january 2018 by shadowkeeper
Dancing with the Beast - proser - Hannibal (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
In order to catch a mediocre serial killer, Will must pose as Hannibal's date for a series of pretentious social events.

Hannibal is dramatic and jealous as ever, and Will is having a great time without the encephalitis. Naturally, romance entails.
fic  hannibal  -fakerelationship  pairing:hannibal/will  [80-90k 
december 2017 by shadowkeeper
It's Just for the Money - Legs (InsanityRule) - Silicon Valley (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
Richard is having some concerns about money and Gilfoyle, of all people, offers an out.

Part 1 of the I came for the money I stayed for you series
fic  siliconvalley  -fakerelationship  pairing:richard/jared  [1-5k 
november 2017 by shadowkeeper
In the Shadow of Your Heart - lq_traintracks (lumosed_quill) - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling [Archive of Our Own]
And thus began the very strange circumstance of their fake dating in public and real fucking in absolute secret. It was, with no comparison, the weirdest relationship Draco had ever been in – which was to say, it wasn't one.
fic  harrypotter  -fakerelationship  pairing:harry/draco  [5-10k 
november 2017 by shadowkeeper
tell all the truth (but tell it slant) - susiecarter - Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice [Archive of Our Own]
It takes a while for Batman and Superman to work things out, once Clark comes back from the dead. Pretending to date each other in order to explain why Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent are in the same place so often? Doesn't help as much as you might think.
fic  batman  dc  ;batmanvsuperman  pairing:bruce/clark  -fakerelationship  [30-40k  superman 
november 2017 by shadowkeeper
A Long Conversation - Asimiento - Silicon Valley (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
“Is that what this is?” Richard teases. “A transaction? What do you get out of this?”

“Company for the holidays,” Jared says. “For once.”
fic  siliconvalley  -fakerelationship  pairing:richard/jared  [10-20k 
october 2017 by shadowkeeper
Strange Love - arandomfan91 - Shadowhunters (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
Alec is in love with Magnus. Magnus needs Alec to be his fake boyfriend. What could possibly go wrong?
fic  shadowhunters  au  -realworld  -fakerelationship  pairing:magnus/alec  [40-50k 
october 2017 by shadowkeeper
So Bright - lemonoclefox - Shadowhunters (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
"You want me," Magnus says, "to pretend to be your boyfriend."
He sounds wholly unimpressed, and Alec has a moment of panic when he hears it out loud.
"Yes," he says. "Temporarily."
"You want me to fake date you," Magnus says flatly. It's not even a question, but more a way of really driving the point home about how dumb the idea is.
"Pretty much.".
Magnus narrows his eyes.
"You do realize that this never works out well in movies, right?" he says. "Ever."
Alec feels a distinct sense of embarrassment creep up now.
"Look, I―"


Alec has come out, but that doesn't stop his parents from their continuous attempts to set him up with a nice shadowhunter girl. So, what better way to finally get them off his back, than to say he has a boyfriend? Problem solved. Except they now apparently want to meet this guy, who doesn't exist. Thankfully, Magnus Bane -- who encouraged Alec to come out in the first place, and whose silent crush on Alec is just as bad as Alec's crush on him -- is more than happy to help. Even if the night doesn't end up going entirely as planned.
fic  shadowhunters  -fakerelationship  au  -alternatetimeline  pairing:magnus/alec  [10-20k 
september 2017 by shadowkeeper
Plus One - AlxSteele - Shadowhunters (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
When Alec’s invite arrives for his brother’s wedding, he allows his best friend Magnus Bane to convince him to check “plus one”, insisting he’ll find a date by then. Only, he doesn’t. Clearly, the only thing to do is bring Magnus to the wedding as his fake boyfriend. Nothing could possibly go wrong.
fic  shadowhunters  au  -realworld  -fakerelationship  pairing:magnus/alec  [70-80k 
september 2017 by shadowkeeper
headed straight for your heart like a bullet in the dark - Swing Set in December (swing_set13) - The Flash (TV 2014) [Archive of Our Own]
This fake relationship escalated faster than Barry anticipated. For Len, the execution couldn't have been better if he planned it himself.
fic  flash  legendsoftomorrow  dc  pairing:barry/leonard  -fakerelationship  [1-5k 
august 2017 by shadowkeeper
only fools rush in - andromeda3116 - Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) [Archive of Our Own]
"Jyn talked herself into a corner with her grandma," Han explained. "Now she needs a fake boyfriend for Christmas."

"Why doesn't Cassian do it?" Luke asked, and Jyn scowled at him.

[In which Jyn, in an attempt to get her mother's overbearing, gossipy, and traditional family off her back for one freaking Christmas, conscripts Cassian to join her as her (fake) boyfriend for the whole week in England. Shamelessly, wildly, gleefully AU.]
fic  starwars  ;rogueone  au  -modernday  -realworld  -fakerelationship  pairing:jyn/cassian  [40-50k 
august 2017 by shadowkeeper
the marriage plot - futuredescending - Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015) [Archive of Our Own]
It’s long been instilled in Harry that marriage was not to be taken lightly, and yet here he is, about to be—literally—unceremoniously fake-married to a boy less than half his age, his protégé even, all in the name of Kingsman and country.
fic  kingsman  -fakerelationship  pairing:harry/eggsy  [10-20k 
july 2017 by shadowkeeper
The Trojan Affair - manic_intent - The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015) [Archive of Our Own]
Ten minutes to go to ground zero and Artyom was still desperately trying to escape. “I have never attended little girl’s birthday party,” he pointed out repeatedly, and actually pouted, big blue eyes wide and pleading.

“Always a first time,” Napoleon said mercilessly, pulling on a charcoal Tom Ford blazer over his loose gray knit. “Mrs Siegfried invited us weeks ago, Artyom, don’t be a baby. You’ve had quite a while to gird your loins. We’re going to a party, not some sort of trench warfare. Smile.”

Artyom scowled, which was admittedly normally an adorable look even for a tall, blonde Russian giant of a man. “I do not like Mrs Siegfried,” Artyom declared, clearly intent on being as recalcitrant as possible.
fic  manfromuncle(2015)  au  -modernday  -spies  -fakerelationship  pairing:illya/napoleon  [40-50k 
july 2017 by shadowkeeper
A Marriage of Hearts - TAFKAB - The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]
Legolas comes up with A Cunning Plan to get everything he wants from life-- and from what lies beyond. (Though he may have more difficulty than he anticipated in building his ship.)
fic  lordoftherings  tolkien  -fakerelationship  pairing:legolas/gimli  [5-10k 
june 2017 by shadowkeeper
we're the heirs to the glimmering world - orphan_account - Inception (2010) [Archive of Our Own]
"You're an investment banker," Eames tells him. "You're very good. You keep me in the style I'm accustomed to, and we are charmingly co-habitating."

Arthur pauses and tries to take that in.

"Is there a reason why I'm your imaginary boyfriend?" Arthur asks.

alt link:
fic  inception  -fakerelationship  pairing:arthur/eames  [1-5k 
april 2017 by shadowkeeper
a tower to broadcast all our dark dreams - coloredink - Hannibal (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
"Jack didn't drag me anywhere I didn't want to go. I'm happy to assist with the case, and we've already proven that we can cohabitate without undue distress."

"Yeah, well, I still think it's stupid," Will muttered.

"We do fit the profile," Hannibal said. "A couple from different social strata; recently cohabiting; homosexual. That's not what offends you, is it?" Hannibal added.

(Or: Hannibal and Will have to pretend to be a couple for a case. Everything goes downhill from there.)
fic  hannibal  au  -fakerelationship  pairing:hannibal/will  [50-60k 
january 2017 by shadowkeeper
Going to Get My Feet Wet (Until I Drown) - sweetbutterbliss - Inception (2010) [Archive of Our Own]
He doesn't see Arthur until he's right in front of him, beaming. He's dressed in jeans and a worn t-shirt, his curls tumbling into his face, and has a streak of dirt smeared across his forehead. Eames resists the urge to reach for his totem as Arthur pulls off a pair of red gardening gloves and shoves them into his back pocket, where they hang precariously. He grasps Eames' shoulder with long fingers and kisses him. It's not chaste or even filthy, more like something bred of familiarity. A bit of tongue, but mostly closed mouth. Eames' hands are full and he's too shocked not to participate.
fic  inception  pairing:arthur/eames  -fakerelationship  [5-10k 
january 2017 by shadowkeeper
Piss off your parents, date me to scare them. - crumbleduppieceofpaper - Carmilla (Web Series) [Archive of Our Own]
Laura's dad's been a real raging b.. ad person lately. So what better way to piss him and Laura's new evil stepmom off than by dating the school's bad girl?
fic  carmilla  au  -highschool  -fakerelationship  pairing:carmilla/laura  [20-30k 
november 2016 by shadowkeeper
let's grab the heart of the world - murderousdeer - Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015) [Archive of Our Own]
"Poe beamed at him before launching into an explanation. 'We need you to go on a secret diplomatic mission on the system of Neshama.'"
Finn and Poe go undercover on a system where people soul-bond.
fic  starwars  -fakerelationship  pairing:poe/finn  [10-20k  ;forceawakens 
november 2016 by shadowkeeper
Playing the Part - corvusTempus - James Bond (Craig movies) [Archive of Our Own]
James Bond comes into Q Branch after a mission with all of his equipment accounted for and in tact, and a complete mission report in Q's inbox. Q is pleasantly surprised and more than a little suspicious. Rightly so, as it happens, because Bond makes an unusual request of him. And yet, his license to kill is not the only thing that makes the man difficult to say no to...
fic  jamesbond  pairing:bond/q  -fakerelationship  [20-30k 
october 2016 by shadowkeeper
One Little White Lie - laughter_now - Star Trek (2009) [Archive of Our Own]
One little white lie never hurt anybody, that's what they say. But apparently they are wrong, because even one small lie can spin out of control and change a life forever. Jim only wanted to be by his best friend's side after an accident. Nobody could have known that the lie he told to make that possible was going to come back to haunt him.
fic  startrek  -fakerelationship  -memoryloss  pairing:kirk/bones  [70-80k  ;reboot 
july 2016 by shadowkeeper
Lord Drake's Bequest - Pennyplainknits - Merlin (BBC) [Archive of Our Own]
"To my great-nephew Arthur I bequeath Tintagel Distribution, wholly and without reserve, save for one condition. You must marry, and stay married, for a period of no less than six months. You're a wonderful businessman Arthur, but a full life needs love and companionship, not just a string of affairs. Settle down young Arthur, and your life will be the richer for it."

alt link:


I hadn't realized there was an AO3 mirror of this oldie!
fic  merlin  au  -modernday  -realworld  -fakerelationship  pairing:arthur/merlin  [5-10k 
june 2016 by shadowkeeper
The Honey Trap - Mamalazzer - The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015) [Archive of Our Own]
"So congratulations, Peril," Napoleon drawled, looking so amused that he could see it was literally setting Illya's teeth on edge. "You have the supreme good fortune of getting to kiss me senseless. Now be a good sport and put your hands on my backside, would you? I'm beginning to feel neglected."

In which the boys have to go undercover as a couple, with Napoleon having a whale of a time while Illya isn't sure whether to knock Napoleon's teeth out or kiss him.
fic  manfromuncle(2015)  -fakerelationship  pairing:illya/napoleon  [20-30k 
april 2016 by shadowkeeper
What Are We? - punkbean - Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare [Archive of Our Own]
Alec Lightwood is sick of being the family disappointment. When his father tells him that they have an upcoming family get-together, he decides that the best way to impress people will be to have a boyfriend. Now he just has to find somebody willing to pretend with him.
[60-70k  shadowhunters  fic  au  -realworld  -fakerelationship  pairing:magnus/alec 
april 2016 by shadowkeeper
I've been dreaming of a white Christmas - ironicallyinternational - Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare [Archive of Our Own]
Alec is sick and tired of Christmas at home, surrounded by people who hate each other and by his two golden siblings.
And then he kind of gets into a fight with Isabelle, and kind of arranges with a total stranger to go with him to the Lightwood Christmas Dinner. And the stranger kind of ends up being Magnus Bane, whom his family kind of hate.
And they kind of develop the most embarrassing crush on each other.
Kind of.
fic  shadowhunters  pairing:magnus/alec  [30-40k  -fakerelationship 
april 2016 by shadowkeeper
Pistol Packin' Mama - Sholio - Agent Carter (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
"Due to your deplorable habit of showing up at all hours of the day and night, any useful Leviathan-related gossip from the neighbors has been replaced by speculation that 'Marge' is cheating on poor 'Dan' with a blond scoundrel -- Jack, if you don't stop laughing, I will hit you with my shoe." (Or: Peggy and Daniel go undercover as a married couple in the suburbs.)
fic  agentcarter  -fakerelationship  pairing:peggy/daniel/jack  [10-20k 
february 2016 by shadowkeeper
Unwound and Rediscovered - santanico - Dragon Age II, Dragon Age (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]
“So,” a woman with an obnoxious accent and hair tied up in numerous, brightly colored ribbons, starts to say. “The famous Champion of Kirkwall has been wed to an elf, yes? How…interesting.”


Or, when Fenris and Hawke had to pretend to be married at Chateau Haine.
fic  dragonage  -fakerelationship  pairing:(male)hawke/fenris  [1-5k  ;daII 
february 2016 by shadowkeeper
The High Road - elandrialore - Criminal Minds [Archive of Our Own]
A bully from Reid's past recognizes him when Morgan and Reid are out decompressing after a case. When the bully starts making fun of pale/skinny/geeky Reid who couldn't get a date back in the day, Morgan steps up and pretends to be Reid's boyfriend. Cue bully surprise and backing off, but they have to keep up the charade until the bully leaves the club.
fic  criminalminds  -fakerelationship  pairing:morgan/reid  [1-5k 
february 2016 by shadowkeeper
It's Just Gravitational, We Are Unstoppable - jannika - Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015) [Archive of Our Own]
“I just mean, I think, with all the terrible things out there, you have to take good moments where you can find them,” Poe says.

On a diplomatic mission to retrieve something vital to the Resistance, Poe, Rey, and Finn wind up having to pretend to be married. Miscommunication and things lost in translation, dancing, feelings, a very supportive BB-8, a mention of everyone taking Poe's last name, and general trope-filled, feel-good, nonsense. Because there is never a bad time to use the fake-married trope.
fic  starwars  pairing:poe/finn/rey  [5-10k  -fakerelationship  ;forceawakens 
january 2016 by shadowkeeper
Expert Tips - Anonymous - White Collar [Archive of Our Own]
Peter and Neal have to pretend to be married for a case. El thinks this is a great idea.

I.e., the one where El and Neal decide that Peter should really try a threesome.
fic  whitecollar  -fakerelationship  pairing:peter/neal  pairing:peter/elizabeth  pairing:peter/neal/elizabeth  [1-5k 
january 2016 by shadowkeeper
Some Assistance Required - seraphina_snape - Person of Interest (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
"Finch? Everything okay?"

Finch cleared his throat. "I, ehm, I require your assistance, Mr. Reese."

John was up and across the room before Finch had finished the sentence. Looking into his weapons closet, John grabbed a second handgun and his rifle case. He hesitated. "Do I need to bring grenades?"

"What? No, John. No grenades. No rifles, so handguns, no tazers." Finch sighed. "This is a different kind of situation."
fic  personofinterest  -fakerelationship  pairing:finch/reese  [1-5k 
january 2016 by shadowkeeper
Consummating a Marriage of Convenience - RedHead - The Flash (TV 2014) [Archive of Our Own]
Stuck in Iron Heights, when Len gets told it’s time for his conjugal visit, he can’t help but be surprised because the last he checked, he wasn’t married. But then, Barry Allen always manages to surprise him.
fic  flash  dc  -fakerelationship  pairing:barry/leonard  [5-10k 
january 2016 by shadowkeeper
This Web of Lies Is More Intricate Than A Snowflake - Wolves_of_Innistrad - The Flash (TV 2014) [Archive of Our Own]
If anyone asked Barry how he got here today, walking through a grocery store with Captain Cold, with Len at his side? Well, he could probably narrow it down to about five instances.

or, Five times the Flash and Captain Cold had to pretend to be dating and the one time they didn't.
fic  flash  dc  -fakerelationship  pairing:barry/leonard  [1-5k  wip 
october 2015 by shadowkeeper
with the (poisoned) wind - Liu - The Flash (TV 2014) [Archive of Our Own]
Barry needs to get to a crime family's house to look for clues. Pretending to date Leonard Snart is his only ticket.
fic  flash  dc  -fakerelationship  pairing:barry/leonard  [5-10k 
october 2015 by shadowkeeper
Tumbling Together - RedHead - The Flash (TV 2014) [Archive of Our Own]
When Barry and Len discover that they’ve accidentally become neighbors, they learn to navigate their new living situation amongst misunderstandings and a surprising amount of common ground.

AKA the fun-as-it-comes Neighbors!AU which turns into a Pretend Relationship!AU filled with tropes, hijinks, and some vague notion of a plot.
fic  flash  dc  -fakerelationship  pairing:barry/leonard  [100k+ 
october 2015 by shadowkeeper
Couple's Retreat - SamanthaStephens - Inception (2010) [Archive of Our Own]
The team targets a mark while he's at a couple's retreat at a ski resort in British Columbia with his girlfriend. To join the fun, they have to pair up and pretend to be couples, too. The trouble is, Arthur and Eames are already secretly dating. So they're a couple who are pretending not to be a couple who are pretending to be a couple. Truly dizzying!
fic  inception  -fakerelationship  pairing:arthur/eames  [1-5k 
october 2015 by shadowkeeper
Patience and Sheer Determination - blacktofade - Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015) [Archive of Our Own]
Harry goes undercover to infiltrate the circle of a corrupt overlord and is given Eggsy, a young prostitute, as a token of goodwill. Harry has to live with Eggsy and keep him safe, while maintaining his cover.
fic  kingsman  au  -alternatetimeline  -fakerelationship  pairing:harry/eggsy  [40-50k 
september 2015 by shadowkeeper
A Marriage of Inconvenience - autoschediastic - Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015) [Archive of Our Own]
“Caution in the field isn’t confined to simply an awareness of your surroundings,” Harry says, his tone stern but his breath soft and warm against the back of Eggsy’s hand. His gaze lifts, his eyes hooded as he peers at Eggsy over the rims of his glasses. “You’ve told a lie, Eggsy, and now that lie must be truth.”

(Or, that time Eggsy scored them a better table by saying it was his and Harry's anniversary and quickly grew to regret it.)
fic  kingsman  -fakerelationship  pairing:harry/eggsy  [10-20k 
september 2015 by shadowkeeper
A Modest Proposal - Ignaz Wisdom (ignaz) - House M.D. [Archive of Our Own]
Tritter's case against House still depends on subpoenaed testimony from Wilson. To save House from losing everything, the doctors of PPTH decide on an unusual solution, which in turn leads to unexpected consequences. This is a story about the sacrifices we make that turn out not to be such great sacrifices after all. (Contains spoilers for everything up to and including "Merry Little Christmas.")

Part 1 of A Modest Proposal and Involuntary Commitment
fic  -fakerelationship  -alternatetimeline  pairing:house/wilson  [50-60k  housemd 
august 2015 by shadowkeeper
a winding road that stretches toward the truth - couldaughter - Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
“Why do you need a date? Also, no offence, but why did you come to me? I stole, like, four of your girlfriends and at least two boyfriends, remember.”

“I do remember that, Tony,” said Jim, pinching the bridge of his nose. “No, I need you to come on a date with me.”
fic  ironman  marvel  -fakerelationship  pairing:tony/rhodey  [1-5k 
august 2015 by shadowkeeper
Full Disclosure - Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar) - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]
Prompt: Our asshole mutual friends set us up on a blind date and didn’t tell us it was a blind date, so instead of getting to know each other we spent the entire ‘date’ scheming against them and decided an awesome way to get back at them would be to pretend to date and then have a horrendous breakup but now that we’re two months into this charade we’re not sure what’s real and what’s fake anymore.

In which Bucky and Tony forget that sex and love are not a game. A game is something you can win.
fic  ironman  captainamerica  marvel  -fakerelationship  pairing:tony/bucky  [30-40k  ;blackwidow  ;hawkeye 
august 2015 by shadowkeeper
What They Say About Assumptions - Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar) - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]
Prompt: Imagine a post battle scene where the Avengers are exhausted, surrounded by reporters, and Tony trips over something and Bucky steadies him. Next day: 'Iron Man and the Winter Soldier's romance?!' all over the media, 'cause someone got a lucky shot of them with their faces close & it looks like they were about to kiss. (Optional additional complication: At this point, the public is still unsure whether Bucky should be made to pay for what he did under Hydra control.)

Thanks to having a bad ass Iron Man suit, he’d actually experienced the sensation of plummeting back to Earth once or twice. This felt sort of like that, only while sitting on the edge of his bed, brain whirring and clicking like a failing hard drive as he attempted to pin down how the hell Pepper had figured it out.

“What are you talking about?” he asked, but didn’t give her a chance to answer. “And what do you mean Bucky Barnes. What’s wrong with Bucky?”

alt link:
fic  ironman  captainamerica  marvel  -fakerelationship  pairing:tony/bucky  [5-10k 
july 2015 by shadowkeeper
Professional Couple Only - saltyfeathers - Supernatural [Archive of Our Own]
There's a haunted apartment building in Vermont, and the ad says "Professional couple only". Dean and Cas rise to the occasion.
fic  supernatural  -fakerelationship  pairing:dean/castiel  [30-40k 
june 2015 by shadowkeeper
Say You Will, Say You Won't - Traincat - Spider-Man (Comicverse), Fantastic Four (Comicverse) [Archive of Our Own]
Johnny Storm found him on a Friday afternoon, wearing the kind of beseeching look that filled Peter with dread.

“I need to ask you a favor,” he said.

“No,” Peter said, swinging away.
Peter and Johnny get married, really-not-really.

Part 1 of the just married series
fic  spiderman  fantasticfour  marvel  pairing:johnny/peter  -fakerelationship  [10-20k 
may 2015 by shadowkeeper
The Spy who Loved Me (Or so they say) - ToriCeratops - Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015) [Archive of Our Own]
In the wake of V-day the world’s economy hangs in a delicate balance, liable to crumble without warning. One man has the knowledge and the power necessary to send it tumbling down, so that only he remains on top.

The Kingsman have been tasked with stopping him before he can carry out his plan. In order to do so, Harry and Eggsy must act as lovers at an elite couple’s getaway to earn this man’s trust. Will they be able to carry out their mission as planned? Or will old wounds and buried emotions cause a havoc greater than anything they could have expected?
fic  kingsman  -fakerelationship  pairing:harry/eggsy  [50-60k 
may 2015 by shadowkeeper
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