severusslave + funny   281

Too Busy To Be Looking - theorytale - Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
Remember all those post-Avengers fics where Tony worked himself into the ground desperately seeking the approval of the Avengers and constantly worrying about being 'kicked off' the team? This... is not one of those.

AKA, "Five Times Tony Stark Lacked Commitment to Sparkle Motion".
marvel  ironman  gen  fivethings  funny  kickass  short  complete  on!ao3 
april 2019 by Severusslave
Sansûkh - determamfidd - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]
The battle was over, and Thorin Oakenshield awoke, naked and shivering, in the Halls of his Ancestors.

The novelty of being dead fades quickly, and watching over his companions soon fills him with grief and guilt. Oddly, a faint flicker of hope arises in the form of his youngest kinsman, a Dwarf of Durin's line with bright red hair.

(Follows the story of the War of the Ring).

How in the world did I not have this bookmarked yet??
lotr  hobbit  bilbo/thorin  legolas/gimli  aragorn/arwen  kili/tauriel  angst  action  bamf  world!building  death  sad  funny  war  romance  revolution  thisisdifferent  teambeingawesome!fic  intrigue  pov  ptsd  post!death  au  slash  kickass  wip  epic  on!ao3 
october 2017 by Severusslave
It Was a Joke: The Foretold Note
Trelawney gives an assignment at the beginning of fifth year. This leads to the revelation of a power that Harry didn't know he had. A power that no one expected. Least of all the Dark Lord. A power he knew not. Harry decides to change everything with his new book. Being able to shape the future to how you want took a lot of vision. No one could have predicted this.
harrypotter  funny  harry/voldemort  powerful!harry  fixit  thisisdifferent  wip  medium  on!ao3 
october 2017 by Severusslave
Hell To Raise
All Harry knew that day was that his Aunt Petunia had begun to scream. When he came from his cupboard to see what was wrong, he found her sitting pale and distraught on the spotless kitchen tiles. She was gibbering as that evening’s three-kilogram chicken dinner did a rather acrobatic tap-dancing lap of the room, squawked loudly, and then fled through the window and out into the back yard.


In which Harry Potter animates the dead. Dumbledore disapproves. Other forces... not so much.
harrypotter  gen  dark  funny  medium  wip  on!ao3 
october 2017 by Severusslave
Full circle
On their eleventh life, they finally decide to be adults about the whole thing and talk. The fact that life number ten had Harry and Tom as father and son, respectively - and wasn’t that a bit of a traumatizing experience for both of them - was only one of the breaking points.

By number eighteen they were almost friends (they’d been both girls in an all girls’ boarding school, and they ruled that place with an iron fist). On number twenty five they started sleeping with each other during the times the age gap wasn’t huge enough to make either of them uncomfortable or sent to jail (on number twenty nine, Harry had let Tom’s thirty three year old incarnation take his sixteen year old self’s virginity, which got Tom almost shot by his very enraged father). On number twenty, thirty seven, and fifty they were blood siblings (once as orphans, once raised by a single mother working three jobs, and once as part of a big loving family much like the Weasley’s). On thirty four, thirty nine, forty two, forty six, fifty eight, fifty nine, sixty three, sixty five, sixty six, seventy one, seventy three, eighty, and eighty four, they were even married (sometimes out of convenience, sometimes out of necessity, but even more times out of, strangely, actual affection - because god knows there’s more than a dozen lifetimes when they couldn’t even stand the sight of each other, but…).

This seemingly endless loop of rebirth was their new normal. Jumping at different points of time as different people each rebirth, but always, never failing, destined to meet, it was--

Well, it changed people. And quite possibly gave them a perverse sense of humor, because lately they’ve really enjoyed just fucking with people. Just for the principle of it. (Just living their lives all the time tended to get dull quickly.)

And life eighty-nine? As their originals, Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort? Oh, they were going to milk this for all it’s worth.
harrypotter  reincarnation  harry/voldemort  funny  medium  wip  on!ao3 
october 2017 by Severusslave
Darcy Lewis, Agent of SHIELD
The Bronx was up, the Battery was down and thank freaking Thor that SHIELD provided housing or Darcy suspected she wouldn't have been able to afford to live closer than Vermont.
marvel  avengers  darcy/steve  clint/phil  tony/pepper  bamf  girlpower  action  funny  complete  medium  on!livejournal 
october 2017 by Severusslave
So the fandom has wolves and cats and dogs and egg fics, and I just thought there are so many other types of reproduction from the animal world...
So, seahorses. Honeybees. Bonobos. Anglerfish. Hamsters. Spiders. Hornbills. Pandas.
sherlockholmes  sherlockbbc  sherlock/john  short  au  funny  preg  mpreg  nonhuman  thisisdifferent  complete  on!ao3 
october 2017 by Severusslave
I'm Gonna Be A Part Of It (Whether I Want To Or Not)
Relocated against her will to New York, Darcy Lewis has to juggle working as an admin monkey for SHIELD, covertly finishing her degree and falling in love. Only one of these things is easy, and it's not the one that she thinks it will be.
marvel  avengers  het  darcy/bruce  girlpower  new!relationship  character!study  funny  complete  medium  on!ao3 
august 2016 by Severusslave
An Improbability Verse
Zaphod Beeblebrox did not pick up Trillian from the flat in Islington, instead, at exactly the same moment as Ford and Arthur were rescued after being pushed out of Vogon airlock, Khan was intercepted during his space jump to the USS Vengeance. Khan has a plan to save the earth and return to his timeline, as the only other human still in existence, Arthur's been invited to help. Sexy help.
hitchhikersguidetothegalaxy  startrek  stxi  crossover  funny  slash  thisisdifferent  complete  medium  on!ao3 
august 2016 by Severusslave
Fluffy tigers at Stark Industries go
This is the story about how Calvin drops out of MIT and got a job at Stark Industries. A job, and one and a half cubicle for him and Hobbes. And a yearly supply of high grade tuna for as long as he works there.
marvel  ironman  calvinandhobbes  crossover  complete  funny  medium  gen  on!ao3  via:alamerysl 
february 2015 by Severusslave
Orion-on-Vulcan Stories
Gaila needs somewhere to recuperate after being injured in the Battle of Vulcan. What better place than with Spock Prime on the Vulcan colony world? Hijinx, cultural misunderstandings, and unlikely romance ensue.
startrek  stxi  spock!prime/gaila  romance  het  new!relationship  thisisdifferent  medium  funny  complete  on!ao3 
july 2014 by Severusslave
Kick in the arse of the Wizarding World
Hermione life suddenly changes, courtesy of an experiment conducted by herself from an alternate, future universe. You'd think messages from the future would have more then vague hints and a headache. Or was that from fighting the troll.
harrypotter  gen  kickass  girlpower  funny  intrigue  pov  action  au  bamf  complete  long  on!ffnet 
june 2014 by Severusslave
Minor Confusion
Legolas and Gimli both were confused over the other's gender. Legolas thought they were gay; Gimli thought they were lesbians; both of them were wrong.
lotr  genderbender  short  funny  new!relationship  smut  aww  complete  on!ao3 
march 2014 by Severusslave
Dwarves have no idea that multiple births are a real thing. Fili and Kili are called 'the twins' by dwarves because they were born so close together (only five years apart), and they're so close.

Dwarves have just assumed that other races do that too. Twins and triplets are just close siblings who are only a few years apart.

Their minds are completely blown when confronted by the reality.
lotr  hobbit  short  dwobbits  mpreg  aww  funny  bilbo/thorin  complete  on!ao3 
november 2013 by Severusslave
Half a Hatchling
In which Smaug adopts Bilbo and gives over the all mighty rock pile that is Erebor and literally doesn't give a damn about the Arkenrock.
lotr  hobbit  funny  short  au  gen  bilbo/bifur  adoption  complete  on!ao3 
june 2013 by Severusslave
A Most Unusual Specimen
Bilbo Baggins was bound to be a rather odd hobbit, seeing as his mother was a Took. They just never expected his oddities to be...quite like this. It began as a little sprout of hair from the tip of Bilbo's chin, at the tender age of twenty-one.
lotr  hobbit  thisisdifferent  aww  funny  romance  au  bilbo/thorin  bilbo/dwalin  wip  short  on!ao3 
may 2013 by Severusslave
Para Bellum
Hobbits always survive; even where trained and experienced soldiers don't. Has no one ever wondered about this? Thorin and the Company learn that it takes more than luck to be small in a big world. Bilbo has unexpected (Hobbit martial arts :D!!!) skills and Thorin finds he likes them.
lotr  hobbit  gen  action  kickass  thisisdifferent  short  bamf  au  friendship!fic  funny  on!ao3  complete 
february 2013 by Severusslave
Life Debt
Gifts must be returned with something of equal value. All Dwarves know that. But how can you put a value on a life? Bilbo didn't know what he was getting into when he ran to Thorin's defense against Azog.
lotr  hobbit  bilbo/thorin  slash  new!relationship  action  teambeingawesome!fic  funny  au  aww  family!fic  on!ao3 
february 2013 by Severusslave
will to follow through
“It depends entirely on how you look at it, I guess,” Stiles shrugs. “On the one hand, instant healing and the apparently inherited ability to pull off leather at all times. On the other, serious attitude problems and a suspicious disappearance of eyebrows.” “Even Derek’s?” Danny snorts, “that’s a lot of eyebrow to lose.” “I know,” Stiles agrees. “You should see, it’s so weird. Every time I want to ask him where they go, except he’d totally eat my face off.” “There are worse ways to die.”

Epic Lydia, Danny and Stiles Humanpack!BFF4EVA fic. Also, delicious Sterek.
teenwolf  stiles/derek  slash  new!relationship  aww  angst  friendship!fic  teambeingawesome!fic  funny    complete  on!ao3 
december 2012 by Severusslave
The one where Stiles's grandmother comes to town, Danny agrees to be Stiles's fake boyfriend, Scott is annoyingly insightful, and there are vampires.
teenwolf  stiles/danny  pretendboyfriends  slash  medium  funny  new!relationship  aww  complete  on!ao3 
november 2012 by Severusslave
The Butterfingers G. D. I. Stark Guide to Problem Solving
Tony begins to notice that things are going missing from his workshop... and discovers that his bots have been hiding a very, very big secret from him. Or rather, a very, very small one.
In which Dummy is a kleptomaniac, You is painfully shy, Butterfingers is a programming genius, JARVIS is a sarcastic sonofabitch, Pepper takes care of Tony outside of the workshop, Bruce is Tony's boo, Thor is Tony's favourite, Clint is actually kind of smart, Steve has terrible timing, and problem-solving is never simple or easy.
marvel  avengers  gen  aww  robots!  teambeingawesome!fic  family!fic  kidfic  pov  funny  medium  preg  friendship!fic  complete  on!ao3 
october 2012 by Severusslave
Dark and Light
He was a genius. He could paint, play music, talk to snakes, control fire. He was more powerful and intelligent then any knew. He had strong 'friends'. The problem was, he had few emotions.
harrypotter  dark!harry  slash  powerful!harry  action  sociopath  animagus  artandmusicality  au  bamf  chan  childabuse  death  family!fic  friendship!fic  fuckbuddies  funny  harry/bill  harry/charlie  harry/hedwig  harry/luna  harry/omc  harry/other  harry/severus  harry/voldemort  immortal!character  independent!harry  intrigue  kickass  kink  long  mental!health  murder  nonhuman  on!ffnet  remus/sirius  remus/tonks  romance  slavery  slyandcunning  smut  thisisdifferent  threesome  virgin!character  world!building    complete 
july 2012 by Severusslave
In which Darcy remembers something that Tony (mostly) doesn't, Jane is rendered awkward, and there is some snarking about polka-dot bras.
avengers  gen  het  funny  short  darcy/tony  girlpower  friendship!fic  marvel  on!ao3  complete 
march 2012 by Severusslave
How I Will Kill You, Let Me Count the Ways
John Watson explains exactly how he plans on dispatching his annoying roommate. In excruciating detail.
sherlockbbc  gen  short  funny  pov  on!ao3 
february 2012 by Severusslave
The Road Is Long, With Many A Winding Turn
In which Odin took Loki home with the idea of eventually arranging a marriage between him and Thor, to unite Asgard and Jotunheim. But then he let the boys grow up thinking of themselves as brothers, and when he springs the marriage plan on them, it turns out they have opinions.
thor  gen  loki/sigyn  het  marriage  funny  family!fic  short  adoption  complete 
february 2012 by Severusslave
Level 65 Paladin Looking for Group
"I think I met someone," John says at his next therapist's appointment. "A friend." "Really?" Ella asks. She sounds pleased, and also surprised. "What's his name?" John nods. "Really. His name's Sherlock. He -- he plays the same game as me, the online one. We party together."
sherlockbbc  medium  au  gen  friendship!fic  funny  teambeingawesome!fic  action  ptsd  complete  on!dreamwidth 
december 2011 by Severusslave
Runs in the Family
AU where high-school jock Alex has a crush on science nerd Hank, and when Alex gets kicked out of his latest foster home, Hank takes him home to meet his large, rambling foster family (includes Wanda, Pietro, Darwin, Angel, Sean, Ororo, Neal, et al). Features preternaturally cute, preggers Charles.
xmen  xmfc  charles/erik  hank/alex  mpreg  wip  aww  kidfic  family!fic  adoption  funny  slash  on!homepage/archive 
december 2011 by Severusslave
Oh My Fucking God
Loki has fallen to Earth and meets Mystique in a bar. They get drunk, have common issues and talk about their feelings.
xmen  thor  crossover  loki/mystique  het  character!study  funny  short  mutants!fic  xmfc  marvel  complete  on!ao3 
december 2011 by Severusslave
Browncoat, Green Eyes
Two years have passed since the secret of the planet Miranda got broadcast across the whole 'verse in 2518. The crew of Serenity finally hires a new pilot, but he's a bit peculiar.

...But so much more. This is THE Firefly/HP crossover story. All others can not compare. Wow. All the stars, all the hearts. Book of Jayne, anyone. 292,520 words of awesomeness. READ THIS!
firefly  harrypotter  crossover  epic  funny  action  futurefic  gen  het  hiddenidentity    apocalypse  bamf  everydaylife  friendship!fic  fixit  girlpower  immortal!character  independent!harry  intrigue  jaded!character  kickass  post!series/movie/book  powerful!harry  preg  psychic  revolution  scifi  suspense  teambeingawesome!fic  thisisdifferent  timetravel  world!building  complete  on!ffnet 
december 2011 by Severusslave
Outride the Sun
Being seventeen sucks. So does moving to a Hellmouth, discovering the girl of your dreams is a Slayer and that you just might be in love with a vampire. Or, How Leonard McCoy Got a Stake, Got a Life, and Got Laid.
startrek  stxi  btvs  crossover  fusion  kirk/mccoy  spock/uhura  sulu/chekov  long  romance  kickass  funny  new!relationship  collegeandhighschool!au  thisisdifferent  teambeingawesome!fic  slash  het  complete  on!livejournal 
december 2011 by Severusslave
First Rule of Flyin'
Captain and Captain. Jim and River dance. Jim Kirk and Simon Tam. They have words. Jim Kirk versus the Operative. Kirk and McCoy reunite.
startrek  stxi  crossover  firefly  kirk/mccoy  kickass  slash  short  action  funny  complete  on!livejournal 
december 2011 by Severusslave
Feelings Are Boring
Winona is called to fix the cock-up of the Yorktown's engines. She uses one of the science-bitches to help her do it. & This is not exactly what Jim thought the 'exploring strange new worlds and exotic civilizations' was about. Also, Vulcans are kind of crazy. Jim and Spock go through a alien ritual, which, yes, changes everything -- he's hoping for the better. Spock just wants to get through this with his sanity, if not his dignity, mostly intact.
startrek  stxi  funny  long  family!fic  romance  bonding  new!relationship  kirk/spock  kickass  complete  on!ao3 
december 2011 by Severusslave
So Far Gone
Starts with the shuttle trip from Riverside Shipyard to Starfleet Academy and picks up from Kirk and McCoy's conversation in the Reboot film. Suddenly, it's an epic, sprawling monster that fills in the gaps of the Academy years, the Narada, and the early years of the five-year mission. Humorous, dramatic, angsty, sexy, ridiculous -- it's got it all?
startrek  stxi  smut  slash  het  orgy  funny  au  romance  action  academy!fic  extremelyhotsex  everydaylife  thisisdifferent  threesome  kickass  new!relationship  bamf  kirk/mccoy  kirk/spock  mccoy/uhura  kirk/mitchell  kirk/mccoy/mitchell  uhura/cupcake  spock/uhura  spock/mccoy  mccoy/gaila  kirk/gaila  kirk/mccoy/spock  long  fuckbuddies    complete  on!ao3 
november 2011 by Severusslave
5 Problems Logan Solved Like A Boss
How the movie could have gone much differently with Logan around, being a general badass.
xmen  fixit  fivethings  slash  short  charles/erik  hank/alex  pov  kickass  funny  mutants!fic  xmfc  marvel  complete  on!livejournal 
november 2011 by Severusslave
AU wherein John and Sherlock did not meet at Bart's. Instead, they meet in a seedy studio for a bit of gay-for-pay amateur porn.
sherlockbbc  sherlock/john  au  pre!series/movie/book  prostitution  smut  short  funny  complete  on!ao3 
november 2011 by Severusslave
Luthor Family Values
Lex sues for custody of Superboy. ... “I won’t fight for you Luthor.” At that Lex couldn’t suppress a chuckle. “Please, I’m not Lionel. I don’t want you to be the best Luthor possible. I want you to be the best version of you. Let me worry about conquering the world, you work on being successful at what you love. If it gives Superman and my father a heart attack in the process, then great.” Please let him grow up to be a communist vegan musician, Lex quietly prayed. Please.
dcu  smallville  short  funny  family!fic  kickass  adoption  complete  on!ao3 
october 2011 by Severusslave
The Genetic Soap Opera (or, One of the Less Dignified Royal Weddings)
Turns out Jim Kirk's more than meets the eye, genetically speaking. There are a lot of consequences, mostly for Spock and his sanity.
startrek  stxi  short  funny  au  kirk/spock  ponfarr  complete  on!ao3 
october 2011 by Severusslave
An Excellent Parent
Loki doesn’t fight while he raises his kids, someone decides that Loki must get knocked up, for the good of the world.
thor  mpreg  short  funny  loki/drdoom  family!fic  xenobiology  marvel  complete  on!livejournal 
october 2011 by Severusslave
Fifth House
Harry Potter was quite honest when he informed Dumbledore’s portrait he intended to get rid of the Eldar Wand. But what if he’d had to use it one last time? Would the Wand of Destiny destroy the Savior… or save him at last?
harrypotter  post!series/movie/book  slash  wip  funny  thisisdifferent  harry/severus  powerful!harry  au 
october 2011 by Severusslave
When Bookmarks Were In Mustache Land
Huh? What's going on with delicious?
We've redesigned! Check out our new look!
Um, okay, sure. Whatcha got for us?
Yes! You can compile all your mustache-related links with our handy new stacks feature!
Uh-huh. Wait, where's the network page? Where are tag subscriptions? Why can't we search by date? Why won't the / character work in search? How do we edit tags? Where are our bundles?
Don't you like mustaches?
delicious  pinboard  metafandom  funny  short  gen  complete  on!livejournal 
october 2011 by Severusslave
Shiny and Blue
Harry finds himself in 1957 with new powers. With a job at Hogwarts, he makes friends the with adults from his youth like Albus and Minerva, and deals with old enemies.
harrypotter  harry/dumbledore  slash  action  timetravel  thisisdifferent  funny  long  romance  complete  on!ffnet 
october 2011 by Severusslave
A Scholarly Pursuit
Neville's life has been a quiet one, acquiring and sharing knowledge, widely known to be one of the best in his field. One day, an old friend comes to visit and changes everything...
harrypotter  harry/neville  slash  medium  post!series/movie/book  romance  epilogue!kids  action  funny  complete  on!ffnet 
october 2011 by Severusslave
The Morning After
Delicious just can't understand why it's the shy, quiet ones who get all the girls.
personification  funny  short  complete 
september 2011 by Severusslave
My Thing by Propaganda
Dr. Cox was jealous. "Maybe I'd better go," I said to Ben. He shook his head and pulled me closer [to him on his bed], never taking his eyes away from Cox's. Cox shrugged. "Suit yourself." He pulled another truck, a bright yellow bulldozer, out of his pocket and set it at the foot of the bed, then left the room without saying a word.
Ben sat up and grabbed the truck, then started making the bulldozer and the earthmover fight. I sat up too and propped my head in my hands, watching the trucks smash into each other. My trucks never fought. There was always a daddy truck, a mommy truck, and a baby truck. Sometimes the baby truck got rides from the daddy truck. "I feel like I just flushed his fish," I said finally. The bulldozer climbed on top of the prostrate earthmover and did a victory dance. "Perry never had fish," Ben said. ...xD
slash  scrubs  jd/cox  funny  aww  complete  on!homepage/archive 
september 2011 by Severusslave
Where Did All the Physics Go?
In which, basically, everything is awesome. Rodney and Scotty. John and Kirk. Spock, his tricorder and Rodney. McCoy. Ah, fuck it, scifi science geeks of 'our' universe on the freakin. holy. goddamn. ENTERPRISE. NCC-1701. *flail*
slash  long  crossover  sga  startrek  john/rodney  funny  tos  dimensiontravel  action  new!relationship  teambeingawesome!fic    complete  on!wraithbait 
september 2011 by Severusslave
Enigmatic Absurdities
Angel get's himself into the PPTH as House's patient. Unwillingly.
house  gen  crossover  ats  btvs  funny  medium  complete  on!homepage/archive 
september 2011 by Severusslave
Lilo the Vampire Slayer
Really, the title does say it all, except to tell you how fun it is. :D
btvs  crossover  lilo&stitch  gen  funny  disneyfic  kickass  girlpower  complete  on!tth 
september 2011 by Severusslave
Reconcilable Differences
"What are you going to do, yell at him for wanting a stable family?" Lex said. "Kon's not so much the child of divorce as he is the child of an undeclared war."
slash  long  au  clark/lex  smallville  futurefic  kidfic  family!fic  dcu  funny  new!relationship    complete  on!homepage/archive 
september 2011 by Severusslave
Abandoned on the streets of London, 16 year old Harry Potter must find a way to survive.
slash  harry/voldemort  long  harrypotter  au  dark!harry  murder  dark  funny  hiddenidentity  slyandcunning  revolution    complete  on!hpfandom 
september 2011 by Severusslave
Welcome to Loserville. Population: two. Xander's stuck in dead-end jobs. His friends are busy at college. And the only one who has time for him is dead.
slash  medium  btvs  au  spike/xander  funny  aww  complete  on!homepage/archive 
september 2011 by Severusslave
Maybe This Was A Bad Idea?
Dean Winchester looked around the blue room, biting his lip. Damn, but maybe they'd gone a little too far this time. Of course, since both his brother and him had been pretending to be Air Force to sneak onto a top-secret base to banish a ghost, they might have, just maybe, not looked deep enough. [...] Then! Then the funness started. They got taken to the side, given a stack of papers (top-secret papers) to sign and were shipped down to a bunker room with a huge ass circle in it. THAT FUCKING EXPLODED. Into WATER. xD Bweeee! .....Sequel:
gen  crossover  spn  sga  short  funny  complete  on!livejournal 
september 2011 by Severusslave
My Family, by Briefs Trunks
"So you admit to being engaged in a polyamorous homosexual relationship?" he said in a challenging tone. Vegeta opened his mouth to respond, then stopped and looked questioningly at Bulma. "Yes, you are," she said with some amusement. "Yes, I am," Vegeta said.
dbz  goku/vegeta  short  funny  kidfic  family!fic  complete  on!homepage/archive 
september 2011 by Severusslave
Rich Man's Darling
So, Clark Kent, weirdly, feels a bit vomit-y and his bf arranges him to get the best doc there is.
smallville  crossover  house  clark/lex  mpreg  slash  funny  short  complete  on!homepage/archive 
september 2011 by Severusslave
Flawless Victory
It was 4:42 on a Friday afternoon in mid-March when Clark suddenly figured out how to defeat Lex Luthor once and for all.
smallville  clark/lex  slash  futurefic  funny  post!series/movie/book  complete  on!homepage/archive 
september 2011 by Severusslave
"The fact that I'm the mother of a Luthor bird shouted that out long ago, Lex. The moment Dustbunny saw me we both knew that this was not a bird that could be introduced to the public. He would tell too much."
smallville  clark/lex  slash  short  aww  funny  futurefic  romance  new!relationship    complete  on!homepage/archive 
september 2011 by Severusslave
Sorry, Lois
"The Castle?" Lex asked with a note of pleased surprise in his voice. "We're going to live at the Castle?" "Well, it already has a lab. And Dad will probably appreciate the distance from you." "Guess he never figured he'd have a son-in-law, especially one like me." "He'll learn to love you, Lex. Especially after the grandkids come." "Um, Clark, is there something about your biology I should have known years ago? Say when we stopped using protection because we were both clean and monogamous?" Clark laughed. He could see his dad going up to Lex and demanding he do right by his son. "No, but after you finish curing world hunger, I figure you're gonna need another project." "We're definitely giving them your hair," Lex said, grinning. "And your beautiful mind, Lex." "Excuse me," Lois interrupted.
smallville  short  slash  clark/lex  futurefic  funny  complete  on!homepage/archive 
september 2011 by Severusslave
Severus's personal research reaches fruitation. ...Bweehee. :3
harrypotter  short  mpreg  funny  gen  complete  on!homepage/archive 
september 2011 by Severusslave
Severus is pregnant. Everyone wonders who the father is, but the only answers Snape gives are lies.
harrypotter  mpreg  short  slash  funny  futurefic  slyandcunning  severus/sirius  severus/lucius  complete  on!homepage/archive 
september 2011 by Severusslave
Orgy fic. No, srsly. ...The first time, it was an accident, and there really was a snake. Harry and Ron were sitting on a bench in Hogsmeade, just passing the time, and a small snake crossed by behind them, fussing about her children. Harry couldn’t help but hear her, of course, and being the sort of boy who jumps to the rescue, he couldn’t help but reply. The conversation was short, and in a moment, she went on her way. And that was when Harry looked up at Ron, who was staring at him with an expression he’d never seen on his friend before. “What?” he asked, green eyes curious. “Merlin, Harry. That’s…that’s…” he flushed and looked at his shoes. “Harry, I don’t, you know I don’t, ordinarily…that was the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”
harrypotter  slash  harry/draco  short  smut  funny  threesome  femslash  het  orgy    extremelyhotsex  complete  on!livejournal 
september 2011 by Severusslave
The Tip of the Icing
He had always watched his aunt baking cakes while he did some menial task and while Petunia had not been the most motherly of figures, she was an excellent baker. He hadn't thought he'd do this after the war; He had retreated into his house, refusing to apply to the Auror training and one night, in a fit of boredom, had rifled through one of the Black family cookbooks (the only one that had not tried to tear out his jugular) and had whipped up a treacle tart cake, making it with sponge crumbs, following the directions carefully. It was like Potions and yet it wasn't, because he actually enjoyed the results.
harrypotter  kidfic  harry/draco  futurefic  slash  au  aww  funny  new!relationship  bakingandcooking!fic    epilogue!kids  complete 
september 2011 by Severusslave
Harry works as a groundskeeper in the summer and meets a nice, sleek black snake...
harrypotter  slash  harry/severus  medium  futurefic  smut  funny  animagus  romance  new!relationship  hiddenidentity  complete  on!homepage/archive 
september 2011 by Severusslave
And burn the phoenix
"Bart, this... Is this you trying to distract me from finding out about your horrible trauma?" "Jesus flippin' Christ on a little tiny pony." Bart explodes. Kon blinks and Bart's wearing a white t-shirt with 'I HAVE NO HORRIBLE TRAUMA' written on it.
dcu  slash  smut  funny  kon/bart  complete  on!homepage/archive 
september 2011 by Severusslave
Horses of Different Colors
A Houston Knights AU featuring centaurs. Levon Lundy/Joe LaFiamma .
slash  au  epic  centaurs  houstonknights  romance  funny  action  complete  on!homepage/archive 
september 2011 by Severusslave
Road to Poofdom
Spike was dressed in drag when Willows "Forget" spell hit. ...Spike was dressed as a woman. And, damn, he didn't look half-bad. Xander swallowed hard.
btvs  medium  spike/xander  slash  au  crossdressing  funny  new!relationship  amnesia  complete  on!homepage/archive 
september 2011 by Severusslave
Okay, so Xander watched Spike's breasts hop, walk and hop. Semantics. Spike was right - they were a pretty great set. But that wasn't the point. "That's not the point." Xander wished Spike would lift his eyes from Xander's chest and kinda wished his chest didn't wobble so disturbingly with every step. "The point is that we are women. You, me, Giles, Riley and Ethan Rayne. And the girls - excuse me - ex girls are men. And Ethan doesn't know how to reverse it because it was supposed to be his so long, suckers! sayonara to Sunnydale. Still with me so far?" "Every word, pet," Spike assured Xander's breasts. "We are women, Spike!" "So? What's wrong with that? You like women." "I also like cream filled doughnuts but that doesn't mean I want to be one!"
btvs  long  slash  genderbender  funny  spike/xander  smut  complete  on!livejournal 
september 2011 by Severusslave
Ben Has Two Dads ...Uncles
When Ben turns thirteen and learns that Dean Winchester is his father, he runs away to join his father (and uncle). A tale where boys are boys, Vikings are Vikings, unicorns go to Candy Mountains, Dean and Sam are in big gay love, and Ben becomes a Winchester.
spn  sam/dean  slash  futurefic  incest  kidfic  au  funny  aww  complete  on!livejournal 
september 2011 by Severusslave
Long Lay The World
Dean gives Sam a house for Christmas. THIS IS ALL THE SUMMARY YOU NEED. <3
spn  slash  sam/dean  futurefic  h/c  medium  aww  funny  holiday!fic  complete  on!livejournal 
september 2011 by Severusslave
People Livin' In Competition
In Oasis Plains, Oklahoma, it’s not exactly the first time Dean’s slapped Sam’s ass. Hell, it’s not even the second. Dean thinks the first time mighta been on Sam’s first day of high school; anyway, Sam wasn’t able to get a date until they moved halfway through Sam’s junior year. (It escalates! <3)
spn  slash  sam/dean  incest  short  funny  complete  on!livejournal 
september 2011 by Severusslave
Three's Apparently Not a Crowd
Stranded and apparently forgotten on a frozen world, three crewmates learn to survive. Kirk/Spock/Chapel. sequels
startrek  medium  kirk/spock  slash  het  threesome  au  futurefic  funny  h/c  tos  complete  on!homepage/archive 
september 2011 by Severusslave
Impromptu Bondmates
When a mission gone awry forces Spock and McCoy to become bondmates, all kind of hell breaks loose on their long and bumpy road to love.
startrek  medium  slash  spock/mccoy  au  funny  tos  complete  on!ffnet 
september 2011 by Severusslave
Boy, One Day You’ll Be A Man
“I’m the father, and you’re the father,” Sam says in bed one morning. “Uh-huh,” Dean replies sleepily, throwing an arm over Sam’s chest. Sam’s quiet for a few moments, thinking. “But- but that makes us his uncles too.” Dean rolls his eyes, looking up at Sam. They’ve had this conversation before. Well, Sam’s tried to. “And you’re the mom! That’s freaky shit right there, Sammy.”
spn  slash  sam/dean  mpreg  incest  au  funny  kidfic  futurefic  complete  on!livejournal 
september 2011 by Severusslave
An Unusual Predicament of Utmost Import
One day, Dean woke up as a kitten. Things went downhill from there. xD LAWL!
spn  slash  sam/dean  rps  mpreg  jared/jensen  crossdressing  funny  short  smut  incest  genetic!transformation  complete  on!livejournal 
september 2011 by Severusslave
The Seahorse
"You're a goddamn seahorse," Jensen says to Jared.
spn  rps  jared/jensen  mpreg  slash  long  au  funny  aww  hermaphrodite  intersexuality  complete  on!livejournal 
september 2011 by Severusslave
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