scorpionvoices + trope:matchmaking   66

brown eyes steal me - theformerone - Naruto [Archive of Our Own]
"You planted a -,"

"I planted a tree, Ino, I know, I was there."

"Kousa," she says, finishing as if he never interrupted. "Not very original, but cute. You think that'll be what you name your firstborn?" [10213]

[AMAZING arranged-marriage fic where Kiba and Shikamaru must combine two separate sets of cultural traditions to make a harmonious whole without ever really speaking to each other. There's character development! There's sorta-pining! There's lots of cute blushing! I really enjoyed this; it's definitely one of my new favorites.]
fic  an:naruto  au:everyonelives  c:naru:kiba  c:naru:shikamaru  c:naru:tsume  c:naru:hana  c:naru:ino  theme:cultureclash  theme:courtship  trope:matchmaking  theme:pining  theme:competency!!!  theme:domesticity  theme:marriage  p:naru:kiba/shikamaru  ge:slash  ge:fluff  r:pg-13  @ao3 
august 2018 by scorpionvoices
one hell of a mess - noelia_g - Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]
“Bring me leftovers?” she laughs and then yelps when he tickles her foot in retaliation, then kicks his thigh. “I mean, if you don’t end up eating everything.”

“If I know Poe, there’s gonna be more food than anyone could eat in a week. You know how he gets.”

She does know how he gets, she has stacks of datapads with holovids of flight manoeuvres from the Rebel Alliance days that has been forced on her, stacks of blueprints ordered specifically for her, even a potted tree from Eiatu VI Poe presented her with after one of his away missions. BB-8 informed her Poe flew with the tree in his lap, so it wouldn’t get damaged in the cargo hold.

So she does have some sympathy for Finn’s predicament, yes, but not in the way he thinks. Because the regular complaints sessions paint Poe as a daring holovid hero with windswept hair and a perfect line for each occasion and while some of that holds true, he is a man who piloted an X-wing with a potted tree in his lap.

He’s also a man who flusters at Finn’s smile and who once literally sat on his hands and muttered ‘what the fuck’ at least seven times while watching Finn training some of the Resistance soldiers in the First Order tactics.

She’s not quite sure what to say, because Finn would never believe this. [5097]
fic  u:starwars  m:swTFA  c:sw:finn  c:sw:rey  c:sw:poe  theme:friendship  theme:pining  theme:clueless  trope:matchmaking  theme:boysaredorks  theme:dorksinlove  theme:dating  theme:firstkiss  p:sw:finn/poe  ge:slash  r:pg  a:noealia_g  @ao3 
january 2016 by scorpionvoices
Best Laid Plans - Saathi1013 - The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015) [Archive of Our Own]
Tired of Illya and Gaby's interminable flirtation, Napoleon decides to intervene so the two of them can get on with it already.

He may inadvertently make some tactical errors along the way. [3387]
fic  m:manfromUNCLE  c:muncle:napoleon  c:muncle:gaby  c:muncle:illya  theme:team!  theme:friendship  trope:matchmaking  theme:shenanigans  theme:seduction  theme:first-time  p:muncle:gaby/illya/napoleon  ge:multi  r:r  @ao3 
november 2015 by scorpionvoices
Satisfactory - damalur - Star Trek (2009) [Archive of Our Own]
Advancing a relationship with Leonard McCoy only seems logical, particularly after Spock hears that the good doctor carried his katra in another life. [5674]
fic  u:startrek  m:startrek09  c:startrek:spock  c:startrek:bones  c:startrek:kirk  trope:matchmaking  theme:friendship  theme:snark  theme:shenanigans  theme:boysaredorks  theme:firstkiss  o:adorable  p:startrek:mccoy/spock  ge:slash  r:pg  @ao3 
august 2015 by scorpionvoices
Something in the water
Tsunade notices a distinct disinterest among her ninja for the opposite sex. Or any sex.
Tsunade frowned. Strange. She'd seen Kakashi reading before, though she'd never paid that much attention to it. He was reading porn all that time? How bizarre. Not the 'reading porn' bit; after growing up with Jiraiya, Tsunade had no more faith left in the male half of the human race. What was strange was that his attitude; Tsunade had seen people read rules and regulation with more passion and involvement than that. Either Kakashi was the best undercover op in the entire village by far...or he was the only man on the planet who actually did read stuff like that for the stories.

"He needs a girlfriend," Tsunade muttered, glaring at the tuft of white hair which was now the only thing visible of Kakashi behind the decorative pillar. "I take it he doesn't have one."

Sakura choked on her punch; Tsunade had some as well, though hers was, shall we say, spiced up from the contents of a discreetly hidden bottle. She was determined to survive this dull official function somehow.
fic  an:naruto  oneshot  c:naru:tsunade  c:naru:sakura  c:naru:kakashi  c:naru:shizune  trope:matchmaking  theme:shenanigans  theme:snark  theme:secrets  theme:fixing  LOLZ  ge:gen  r:pg-13  a:maldororgw  @hiddenvillage 
february 2015 by scorpionvoices
Landslide - blackkat - Bleach [Archive of Our Own]
The first thing he is aware of is pain.

The second, darkness.

The third is a voice cursing at him, rocks moving, and then sunlight beats the darkness back.

[Or, how Ayasegawa Yumichika became beautiful and met Madarame Ikkaku]
fic  an:bleach  pre-series  c:bleach:yumichika  c:bleach:ikkaku  theme:establishedrelationship  theme:angst  theme:firstmeetings  theme:injury  theme:love  trope:matchmaking  p:bleach:ikkaku/yumichika  p:bleach:ichigo/renji  ge:slash  r:r  a:blackkat  @ao3 
january 2015 by scorpionvoices
Concrete - RarePairFairy - Teen Wolf (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
Post Season 3 mid-season finale. Chris Argent does NOT have a man crush.

Except maybe he does, a bit.

There are hostile creatures appearing in inconvenient places around Beacon Hills, and three families - the Argents, the McCalls and the Stilinskis - are resembling a taskforce.

Chris is beginning to realize that he's tired of watching loved ones get hurt. Sheriff Stilinski couldn't care less, because he's been trained how to use a gun and the bad guy's getting away, so on your feet, old man. [8537]
No sign of It. -- S Stilinski

Chris, already having Stiles’ number, had accidentally placed the Sheriff under the same name in his phone out of woeful ignorance of the man’s actual first name. He could only tell the difference between the two because Stiles had been making Ghostbuster references in all of his texts.

The phone buzzed again.

No Zuuls in this fridge. – S Stilinski

Chris huffed. Getting used to working with non-professionals was going to take time.
fic  tv:teenwolf  c:teenwolf:chris  c:teenwolf:sheriff  c:teenwolf:melissa  c:teenwolf:claudia  c:teenwolf:victoria  theme:grief  theme:friendship  theme:angst  theme:h/c  theme:emotionalconstipation  theme:ghosts  theme:womenareawesome  trope:matchmaking  theme:dating  case-file  theme:afterlife  theme:snark  p:teenwolf:chris/sheriff  ge:slash  r:pg-13  @ao3 
november 2014 by scorpionvoices
Life Isn't a Teen Movie, Except When It Is - infiniteeight - The Avengers (2012) [Archive of Our Own]
Considering the childhood obsession with Captain America, everyone's pretty sure they know Coulson's type, including Clint. After a long battle and a couple of beers, they discover they're wrong. [1819]

fic  u:marvel  m:Avengers12  c:avengers:clint  c:marvel:coulson  c:avengers:ensemble  theme:friendship  theme:team!  theme:shenanigans  theme:snark  theme:secrets  theme:pining  theme:clueless  trope:matchmaking  theme:firstkiss  o:adorable  p:marvel:clint/coulson  ge:slash  r:pg  @ao3 
march 2014 by scorpionvoices
Common Ground - Brenda - Fast and the Furious Series [Archive of Our Own]
Brian was focused on the job, on getting the detective shield, on moving up and maybe taking LT's place one day. He didn't have time for distractions, even if they were distractions of the bald and built variety, with a voice like rough velvet and legs like oak trees and shoulders that were probably carved out of marble.

(Coffeeshop AU, because every fandom needs one, and the idea of Dom running a coffeeshop and Brian and Rome as patrol officers was too fun of an idea not to write.) [4790]
fic  m:thefastandthefurious  au:bakery/coffeeshop  c:tfatf:brian  c:tfatf:rome  c:tfatf:mia  c:tfatf:dom  c:tfatf:ensemble  theme:pining  theme:clueless  trope:matchmaking  theme:friendship  theme:firstkiss  p:tfatf:brian/dom  ge:slash  r:pg  @ao3  challenge:yuletide2013 
january 2014 by scorpionvoices
Gift of the Magi - astolat - Person of Interest (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
Harold paused. He knew better than to let Ms. Groves plant hooks in him. But she was too good at finding the soft flesh to catch them on. He looked up. Her head was tilted slightly, the corners of her mouth turned down in false sympathy; her eyes were bright and fixed on him. "If you're threatening harm to Mr. Reese — "

Her quick smile flashed. "Oh, Harold," she said. "I'm not hurting John. You are." [4421]
fic  tv:personofinterest  c:poi:finch  c:poi:reese  c:poi:root  theme:angst  theme:captivity  trope:matchmaking  theme:emotionalconstipation  theme:friendship  theme:pining  theme:first-time  theme:love  p:poi:finch/reese  ge:slash  ge:drama  r:nc-17  a:astolat  @ao3 
january 2014 by scorpionvoices
Our blessings one by one - mayachain - Stargate Atlantis [Archive of Our Own]
In a world where there is no Stargate Program, Major Sheppard is dishonorably discharged and left to fend for himself by his father, but not his brother. [4157]
fic  tv:stargateatlantis  au:realworld  c:sga:dave  c:sga:john  c:sga:rodney  theme:family  theme:injury  theme:h/c  theme:angst  trope:matchmaking  theme:friendship  ge:gen  r:pg-13  @ao3 
november 2013 by scorpionvoices
The Opposite of Trouble - ifitwasribald - The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Iron Man (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
Bruce has very good reasons to distrust the military, and Rhodey has very good reasons to distrust the Hulk, so neither of them is thrilled when circumstances throw them together. But it doesn't take long for their mutual suspicion to turn to mutual respect, and from there they begin to discover something together that neither of them has had in a very long time. [28,438]
fic  u:marvel  m:Avengers12  c:ironman:rhodey  c:avengers:bruce  c:ironman:tony  c:ironman:pepper  theme:firstmeetings  theme:angst  theme:emotionalconstipation  trope:matchmaking  theme:dating  theme:first-time  theme:boysaredorks  theme:love  unusualpairing  p:marvel:bruce/rhodey  p:ironman:pepper/tony  ge:slash  r:nc-17  @ao3 
november 2013 by scorpionvoices
A Porcupine for People Skills - smitey_mcsmiterten - Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
"What is your - study about?" Ward asks him while they sit in a dark van in the middle of a bloody alleyway, watching a couple of "potential national security threats" wait out on the corner.

"I'm observing how the level of aesthetic countenance in an individual relates to their likelihood of having a discourteous personality type." [2066]
fic  u:marvel  tv:agentsofSHIELD  c:shield:fitz  c:shield:ward  c:shield:simmons  c:shield:ensemble  theme:firstmeetings  theme:clueless  theme:emotionalconstipation  theme:dating  trope:matchmaking  theme:firstkiss  LOLZ  p:shield:fitz/ward  ge:slash  r:pg-13  @ao3 
october 2013 by scorpionvoices
The Voice on the Radio - Psilent (HereThereBeFic) - Welcome to Night Vale [Archive of Our Own]
For as long as anyone in Night Vale can remember, one of the few sure things they could always count on at the end of the day - however difficult, complicated, or unexpectedly long that day may have been - has been the community radio station's nightly news report. [793]
ficlet  misc:welcometonightvale  au:gender  c:nv:cecil  worldbuilding  trope:matchmaking  theme:friendship  theme:love  theme:immortality  style:outsidePOV  opinion:adorable  p:nv:carlos/cecil  genre:femslash  r:pg  @ao3 
july 2013 by scorpionvoices
They Say You Can't Put A Number On Love - torakowalski - The Avengers (2012) [Archive of Our Own]
“Look,” Stark says. “I ran a simulation: attributes you have shown most interest in versus likelihood of success. It turns out that there’s a sixty-five percent chance that your type is Director Fury.” [3014]
fic  u:marvel  m:Avengers12  c:avengers:clint  c:ironman:tony  c:marvel:coulson  trope:matchmaking  theme:shenanigans  theme:snark  theme:RST  theme:first-time  p:marvel:clint/coulson  genre:slash  r:pg-13  a:torakowalski  @ao3 
july 2013 by scorpionvoices
sparky77: Spilt Milk
Without remembering any of this, Sam still knows two things as absolute fact.

Even though Sam was the one who knocked over the milk, Dean was the one who got in trouble for not watching Sam, or for encouraging him, or for setting a bad example. That was just how things worked.

Sam’s three-year-old self was not sorry because even then Sam was willing to do anything to make Dean happy, no matter what the price. And even then, no matter how good his intentions were, things always ended up with Dean in trouble.

This isn’t to say that Sam is trying to compare accidentally starting the apocalypse to split milk.

Okay, he is. [~4000]

[The one where Sam tries to educate Dean on Dean's own oblivious infatuation with Castiel. While drunk. Using a ketchup packet, a french fry and a spoon. While also doing all the voices. It is amaaazing.]
fic  tv:supernatural  c:spn:sam  c:spn:dean  c:spn:castiel  theme:angst  theme:emotionalconstipation  theme:boysaredorks  theme:family  trope:matchmaking  LOLZ  theme:shenanigans  theme:firstkiss  p:spn:castiel/dean  genre:slash  rating:pg-13  author:sparky77  @lj 
march 2013 by scorpionvoices
The Hobbit Kink Meme - Prompt Post 2 (Closed to new prompts) -- Five Time Everyone Knew It But Them + One Time They Noticed, by lifeisticking
Literally everyone but Bilbo and Bofur can see that they're absolutely, completely in love with each other.

Elrond: I never knew you to be a matchmaker
Gandalf: I wish, their longing glances are driving me crazy

Azog: I will take your beloved's life as revenge
Bilbo: Who?

Beorn: Have a double bed

Thranduil: Tell me what I want to know or I'll leave your lover to rot
Bofur: Who?

Bard: They're freshly married, aren't they?
11 Dwarves & a wizard: That would make everything so much easier

Dain: How oblivious are they?
11 Dwarves & a wizard: Epically
fic  b:lordoftherings  c:lotr:bilbo  c:lotr:bofur  c:lotr:ensemble  theme:clueless  trope:matchmaking  theme:dorksinlove  p:lotr:bilbo/bofur  genre:slash  rating:pg  @lj  challenge:kinkmeme 
january 2013 by scorpionvoices
Kid Tested, Father Approved - peroxidepest17 - Teen Wolf (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
The one where Derek is like a box of Kix (or something).

Or, the one where the Sheriff isn't really fazed by anything, including werewolves, secret gypsy heritages, vampires, Derek Hale, Derek Hale's Emotional Constipation, Stiles' Emotional Cluelessness, and the concept of Derek Hale dating the Sheriff's 17 year old son.

Or, the one where the Sheriff knows all, sees all, and is kinda a troll. [5460]
fic  tv:teenwolf  c:teenwolf:sheriff  c:teenwolf:derek  c:teenwolf:stiles  theme:family  theme:emotionalconstipation  style:outsidePOV  theme:shenanigans  theme:boysaredorks  theme:clueless  hilarity  theme:friendship  trope:matchmaking  theme:first-time  LOLZ  p:teenwolf:derek/stiles  genre:slash  rating:pg  @ao3  favs:teenwolf 
december 2012 by scorpionvoices
Men of a Certain Age - peroxidepest17 - Teen Wolf (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
The Sheriff and Chris Argent do their best impression of Scott and Stiles except without the flailing (because they're too old to flail anymore). [15,369] [Agggh, omigawd, adorable BFF fic of my heaaaaart]
fic  tv:teenwolf  c:teenwolf:sheriff  c:teenwolf:chris  trope:matchmaking  theme:friendship  theme:grief  theme:angst  theme:injury  theme:h/c  theme:shenanigans  theme:totherescue!  theme:boysaredorks  theme:bromance  opinion:awesome  genre:gen  rating:pg-13  @ao3  favs:teenwolf 
december 2012 by scorpionvoices
longsufferingly: For What It's Worth, I Think There's Nobody Like You
AU. It's not exactly that Lydia wants to set Danny up with her high school friend, it's more that she doesn't want to deal with him, and she'd rather make Danny do it. [~4800]
fic  tv:teenwolf  au:realworld  c:teenwolf:danny  c:teenwolf:lydia  c:teenwolf:stiles  c:teenwolf:jackson  trope:matchmaking  theme:friendship  theme:clueless  theme:dating  theme:first-time  humor  p:teenwolf:danny/stiles  genre:slash  rating:pg-13  @lj 
december 2012 by scorpionvoices
longsufferingly | Catch Me No Catch
Allison raises her eyebrows. "Are you trying to set Stiles up?"

"Yeah!" says Scott. "Why not?" He turns over his notebook, ignoring his barely started chem homework, and write GIRLS FOR STILES at the top of the page. "Okay, there's--Erica?"

"Stiles is terrified of Erica," says Allison. "And she's dating Boyd. And Derek would probably kill him."

"Okay," says Scott, frowning. "Jenny."

"From English?"


"Dating Greenberg."

"Really?" asks Scott. "Greenberg?" He scratches his head with the eraser of his pencil. "No wonder Stiles is depressed. Even Greenberg's got a girlfriend." He sighs. "Amanda?"

Allison gives him a look. "No."

"Why not?"

"She's a lesbian, Scott."

"Oh," says Scott. He brightens. "No, wait, that's it!"

"You're not setting Stiles up with a lesbian."

"No, no, I'll set him up with a guy! That's perfect!"

"Does Stiles like guys?" asks Allison, dubiously.

"I just have to find the right one!" says Scott, pushing his books into his bag. "Thanks for your help! See you in history?"

"Yeah," says Allison, shaking her head like she's just waking up from a very weird dream. "Sure." [3100]

[Omg I thought I was going to choke I was giggling so hard. SCOTT!!]
fic  tv:teenwolf  oneshot  c:teenwolf:scott  c:teenwolf:stiles  c:teenwolf:danny  c:teenwolf:allison  trope:matchmaking  theme:friendship  theme:shenanigans  theme:boysaredorks  theme:clueless  theme:firstkiss  LOLZ  p:teenwolf:danny/stiles  genre:slash  genre:fluff  rating:pg-13  author:longsufferingly  @dw 
september 2012 by scorpionvoices
I Flatly Refuse To Call This "The Bend And Snap" - gyzym - Teen Wolf (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
Or, that one time I read this fantastic post and then wrote a bunch of Danny-as-a-yoga-instructor/Stiles-as-his-stressed-out-client fic? Well, some of it's fic, anyway. Some of it is....chatlogged....not!fic, look, I have basically nothing to say for myself about this one. This is summarily ridiculous, and would have been tumblr!fic except that it got, uh, too long. I just really liked the idea of these guys in yoga pants, okay? That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
fic  tv:teenwolf  chat!fic  au:magicless  c:teenwolf:stiles  c:teenwolf:danny  theme:clueless  theme:shenanigans  theme:snark  theme:boysaredorks  trope:matchmaking  theme:inebriation  hilarity  p:teenwolf:danny/stiles  genre:slash  rating:r  author:gyzym  @ao3 
september 2012 by scorpionvoices
All Swings Around Us - windfallswest - Andromeda [Archive of Our Own]
Beka and Trance decide that Harper needs to finally man up and proposition Dylan in hopes that a relationship will stop Dylan from screwing every alien bimbo that crosses his path.

Dylan approves. Dubious Harper is dubious. [5377]
fic  tv:andromeda  oneshot  c:andromeda:harper  c:andromeda:dylan  c:andromeda:beka  c:andromeda:ensemble  trope:matchmaking  humor  theme:shenanigans  theme:snark  theme:friendship  theme:RST  theme:first-time  p:andromeda:dylan/harper  genre:smut  genre:slash  rating:nc-17  @ao3 
june 2012 by scorpionvoices
Belle Époque - songbird - Downton Abbey, The Eagle | Eagle of the Ninth (2011) [Archive of Our Own]
The new chauffeur is a most curious creature, Violet thinks, as he hands her out the motor-car with a quiet 'm'lady.'

A stoic sort, she notes with approval, and in the privacy of her own mind she is quite inclined to admit him a rather handsome sort to boot. [10,878]

[Wherein Marcus is an American who served in the foreign legion during the war, and Esca is a cousin of the family who's home from the field hospital at Flanders; they bond over war injuries and Great Aunt Violet's meddlings.]
fic  m:theeagle  au:fusion  tv:downtonabbey  c:downton:violet  c:eagle:marcus  c:eagle:esca  theme:war  theme:injury  theme:angst  theme:friendship  theme:secretlovers  trope:matchmaking  theme:family  theme:love  p:eagle:esca/marcus  genre:slash  rating:pg  @ao3  for-kayla 
february 2012 by scorpionvoices
teh_helenables: Faith and Deeds
The Miltons own a haphazard produce store, and Mary Winchester is their most frequent customer. |||

Lunch is ready by the time Dean gets back. He plops into a chair and sets two squash plants on the corner of the table before digging in.

“Oh, Dean,” Mary says, surprised. She’s pleased that Dean had bought her two additions for the garden, but fairly surprised; he knows that she’d bought a packet of squash seeds already. “You didn’t have to.”

“I didn’t,” Dean replies, taking a big bite of his sandwich. “One of the owners gave ‘em to me when he was helping me find the manure. He said they were just shipped in this morning and I had to try ‘em. We can put them next to the bell peppers, if you want.”

“Gabriel gave you free seedlings?” Mary asks, trying to picture the scene. Gabe doesn’t really handle customers so much as maintenance and displays, but Mary can sort of imagine it, if she stretches her mind. Maybe he’s in a good mood today, or they’re overstocked. Even with Cas’ iron-tight spreadsheets, Milton’s does overstock on occasion.

“Didn’t catch his name,” Dean apologizes. “It mighta been Gabriel. He had dark hair, sort of nerdy? Carried a clipboard like a shield.”


Cas, who monitors their profits and losses like a stock broker, gave Dean two plants as a *gift*. [6866] [Oh, this is the most adorable story ever. Love blossoms everywhere, even in small, dirt-poor towns. The economic element of this fic was so honest and, quite frankly, refreshing. Also, DEAN AND CAS MEET OVER MANURE, OKAY. REAL WORLD DETAILS, LET ME SHOW YOU THEM.]
fic  tv:supernatural  au:realworld  c:spn:mary  c:spn:castiel  c:spn:gabriel  c:spn:anna  c:spn:dean  trope:matchmaking  theme:friendship  theme:family  theme:domesticity  theme:romance  theme:healthyrelationships  opinion:adorable  genre:slash  rating:g  author:teh_helenables  @lj  for-kayla  for-amanda 
february 2012 by scorpionvoices
coneycat_fic: The Road Is Long, With Many A Winding Turn
Notes: From this prompt on [info]norsekink, in which Odin took Loki home with the idea of eventually arranging a marriage between him and Thor, to unite Asgard and Jotunheim. But then he let the boys grow up thinking of themselves as brothers, and when he springs the marriage plan on them, it turns out they have OPINIONS.

I can't be the only one who thinks none of Odin's proposed plans to make use of Loki actually make any sense, or stand any chance at all of working out as he intends. I mean, really, Odin? [4603]

[As the author writes is the comments, there has to be at least one universe where the boys came out relatively well-adjusted. This view is quit refreshing.]
fic  u:marvel  m:thor  au:justalittledifferent  c:avengers:thor  c:thor:loki  trope:matchmaking  theme:family  theme:inebriation  humor  shenanigans  opinion:awesome  genre:gen  rating:pg-13  author:coneycat  @lj 
february 2012 by scorpionvoices
Epinephrine - alexandriabrown - Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011) [Archive of Our Own]
The problem with saving the world from a mad man, Will mused, was that even if no one could officially acknowledge that you’d done it and that even when you had done it when you were, technically, part of the traitorous dead, you were now expected to be able to do it again.

In which there are masks, misunderstandings, mistakes that should never be made and well intentioned meddling. [5242] [I read this because it was tagged Yenta!Ethan. I have no regrets. This story is pretty good, but there are no divisions to indicate scene changes, so it can get a little confusing.]
fic  m:missionimpossible  post-movie  c:mi:brandt  c:mi:benji  c:mi:ethan  c:mi:jane  theme:undercover  theme:illness  theme:angst  trope:matchmaking  theme:clueless  theme:RST  theme:first-time  genre:slash  rating:r  a:alexandriabrown  @ao3  for-kayla  p:mi:benji/brandt 
january 2012 by scorpionvoices
Writing With Chopsticks - rebecca_selene - Mulan (1998) [Archive of Our Own]
When the Emperor recruits Mulan to help China in the aftermath of the Hun attack, Mulan finds that more people than not want to box her into a woman's "honorable" role. She's having none of it. [6800]
fic  u:disney  m:mulan  post-movie  c:disney:mulan  c:disney:shang  theme:aftermath  theme:fixing  theme:friendship  theme:competency!!!  trope:matchmaking  theme:marriage  humor  p:disney:mulan/shang  genre:het  rating:pg  @ao3  challenge:yuletide2011 
january 2012 by scorpionvoices
The Advent of Coffee - mixtapestar - Merlin (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
Merlin's daily visits to Castle Grounds for his coffee fix have become something of a habit, so when everyone else goes home for the semester, he keeps them up. The baristas seem to like him, for the most part, and as Christmas approaches, things start to get interesting. [11,559]
fic  tv:merlin  au:modern  c:merlin:merlin  c:merlin:arthur  c:merlin:percival  c:merlin:gwaine  c:merlin:lancelot  theme:friendship  trope:matchmaking  theme:dating  theme:holidays  theme:firstkiss  trope:everyoneisgay  theme:snark  p:merlin:arthur/merlin  p:merlin:gwaine/percival  genre:slash  rating:pg-13  @ao3 
december 2011 by scorpionvoices
Santa Is Here, Sleighbells Are Ringing - Dira Sudis (dsudis) - Generation Kill [Archive of Our Own]
"I don't know why you're even fighting me on this," Poke said, in full more-in-sorrow-than-in-anger mode. "Santa is the most recon motherfucker who ever lived. His AO is the entire world, and he infiltrates every inhabited structure on that bitch in one night."

"No," Brad said patiently. "He only infiltrates the domiciles of Christmas-celebrating Christians with dependent children. So, I reiterate, a godless Jew like myself is a poor choice of embodiment for your festive occasion's jolly mascot."

Poke sighed. "I didn't want it to come to this, dog."

Brad felt an actual frisson of fear in the silence that followed.

"Brad," Gina said. "Your mission, should you choose to accept it--"

Brad closed his eyes and put his hands up, but since Gina was five thousand miles away on the other side of the phone, his surrender was neither observed nor accepted. [6237]
fic  tv:generationkill  post-series  c:gk:brad  c:gk:poke  c:gk:gina  c:gk:ray  c:gk:nate  theme:holidays  theme:friendship  theme:RST  trope:matchmaking  theme:first-time  p:gk:brad/nate  genre:slash  rating:nc-17  @ao3  a:dsudis 
december 2011 by scorpionvoices
Hell Hath No Limits, or: Erik Lensherr Does One Impossible Thing Before Breakfast - M_Leigh - X-Men: First Class (2011), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett [Archive of Our Own]
X-Men AU, Good Omens-style, with Charles as Aziraphale, Erik as Crowley, Jean as the Antichrist, and Raven as a badass motherfucker. You shouldn't need to have read Good Omens to enjoy this, although if you haven't, you should probably prioritize that over this. I mean, seriously. [8658]
fic  u:marvel  co:x-men  m:x-men:firstclass  au:fusion  b:goodomens  c:xmen:charles  c:xmen:erik  c:xmen:raven  theme:angels  theme:demons  humor  shenanigans  theme:clueless  trope:matchmaking  theme:destiny  theme:raceagainsttime!  theme:role-reversal  BFFpairing  dorksinlove  genre:slash  rating:pg-13  @ao3  for-kayla 
december 2011 by scorpionvoices
scarecrowqueen : All Roads Will Open to You
Castiel is bad at relationships. Exasperated by his little brother, Gabriel decides to set him up with one of his Trickster friends, a demi-god of the roadways named Dean. [4612]
fic  tv:supernatural  au:fantasy  c:spn:castiel  c:spn:gabriel  c:spn:dean  theme:gods  theme:clueless  trope:matchmaking  theme:first-time  opinion:sweet  p:spn:castiel/dean  genre:slash  rating:pg-13  @dw 
october 2011 by scorpionvoices
etcetera_cat: Learn to Speak Canine in Seven Easy Steps
Diefenbaker is of the firm opinion that humans actually make more sense if you don’t listen to them. They spend that much time flapping their lips and pushing air about, that they seem to completely disregard— and, indeed, don’t even seem to understand— well over ninety percent of their own body language. Master species of the planet? Only because they invented Krispy Kreme. [7195]
fic  duesouth  oneshot  ds:diefenbaker  ds:fraser  ds:rayk  style:outsidePOV  theme:clueless  theme:angst  theme:snark  theme:firstkiss  trope:matchmaking  LOLZ  humor  fraser/rayk  slash  @lj  favs:duesouth  rating:pg-13 
september 2011 by scorpionvoices
mousapelli: You're Killing Me Here
If only Saul knew half as much now as he did when Danny and Rusty were out all night defiling his '73 Gremlin. [4318]
fic  ocean'seleven  missingscene  o11:rusty  o11:danny  shenanigans  boysaredorks  theme:establishedrelationship  theme:clueless  theme:comingout  trope:matchmaking  LOLZ  danny/rusty  slash  r  @lj  favs:o11  opinion:awesome 
september 2011 by scorpionvoices
laurificus: Swing on a Star
“You know,” Danny said, after a moment’s contemplation of how Rusty’s long fingers looked slipping in and out of his mouth, “it’s doing things like that in front of me that probably gives people the wrong idea.”

Rusty shrugged. “It’s probably you watching me do it that does it. Or it could be me putting you up in my hotel. Kept man, and all.”

“It’s possible you have a point. Still, not to know. We’re slipping, Rus.”

Rusty nodded. “That is upsetting. And to have only found out by accident. I feel my status as knower of things has been impugned.”

“I feel more than that’s been impugned, but the other things I can live with.” [3299]
fic  ocean'seleven  missingscene  o11:danny  o11:rusty  theme:clueless  trope:matchmaking  theme:first-time  shenanigans  humor  BFFpairing  danny/rusty  slash  r  @lj 
september 2011 by scorpionvoices
shinybug: The Play's the Thing
Arthur had to spare a thought to be impressed at how many slanderous and untrue things Merlin had managed to insert into such a brief statement: that Arthur liked to drink, and that when he did drink too much he had a tendency to inflict bodily harm upon his manservant, either in the form of beatings and/or possibly sodomy, and that chambermaids were more or less involved in these indiscretions. [~5,000]
fic  tv:merlin  oneshot  c:merlin:arthur  c:merlin:merlin  genre:crack  theme:snark  theme:clueless  theme:comingout  trope:matchmaking  theme:friendship  theme:first-time  hilarity  LOLZ  genre:slash  rating:r  favs:merlin  opinion:awesome  p:merlin:arthur/merlin  @lj 
september 2011 by scorpionvoices
sidrin: Been Here Before
“Have you lost your fucking mind?” Joe shouted from the other side of David’s bed. Everything David was taking to Iraq had to fit in one backpack and was spread out between them.

“No,” David replied evenly, but he shoved his shaving kit into one of the side pockets of the bag with a little more force than necessary.

Joe continued on unabated, “You volunteered to go into a war zone without a gun. You keep telling me you’re not stupid so you must have lost your mind.” [needs a beta for grammar and spelling, but it's legible and interesting enough that the grammar is mostly just a minor annoyance.]
fic  tv:bandofbrothers  au:fusion  tv:generationkill  c:bob:webster  c:bob:liebgott  c:gk:nate  c:gk:brad  c:gk:ray  c:gk:walt  theme:war  theme:establishedrelationship  theme:friendship  theme:angst  theme:h/c  theme:DADT  theme:clueless  theme:first-time  boysaredorks  trope:matchmaking  p:bob:liebgott/webster  p:gk:brad/nate  p:gk:ray/walt  genre:slash  genre:pre-slash  rating:r  @lj 
august 2011 by scorpionvoices
Community Service - valtyr - Marvel Adventures: Avengers [Archive of Our Own]
Spider-Man looked down at them again. Tony was lecturing Cap, tapping his wrench on various parts of the engine, and Cap was - he wasn't even looking at the engine, he was leaning in, the sheer intensity he was devoting to what was a very boring monologue about camshafts, as if Tony was telling him the secrets of the universe - "Cap has a crush on Tony!" he said, surprised.

"A man-crush?" Tigra scrunched her head round for a better look, and Spider-Man shook his head firmly.

"Not a man-crush. A crush crush."

"What?" Her eyes swiveled towards him, then back towards Cap, then back towards him, and Spider-Man waved his hands vaguely. When that didn't seem to clear it up, he tried words.

"I have a man-crush on Cap. That means I follow him around and I'm particularly stupid in his presence. I don't want to kiss him or anything. But Cap? That is definitely a crush-crush. He wants kisses." Spider-Man nodded. Suddenly, an awful lot of things made perfect sense. [6109]
fic  u:marvel  co:avengers  c:spiderman:peter  c:avengers:tigra  c:ironman:tony  c:avengers:steve  trope:matchmaking  theme:dating  hilarity  shenanigans  theme:friendship  theme:totherescue!  p:marvel:steve/tony  genre:slash  rating:pg  favs:marvel  author:valtyr  @ao3  for-kayla  opinion:awesome 
july 2011 by scorpionvoices
temperance_k: Desperate Measures
Prompt: The inhabitants of Charles' estate (Charles, his conniving younger sister Raven, his adorable but mischievous adopted children, and their live-in handyman Erik) have been growing restless. To keep the children from destroying everything in sight, Charles comes up with a scavenger hunt of sorts. The objective? To find his "heart" (which is actually a heart-shaped photo of everyone).

The children are obviously distraught to learn that Charles' heart has been "stolen" and are more than willing to search every last inch of the property to reclaim it. When they finally do, they are quite confused to find a chunk of it missing.

Unbeknownst to Charles, Raven decided to play matchmaker instead of just hiding the heart, sick of all the sexual tension between him and Erik. She cut out the little portion of the photo with Charles and Erik in it and delivered it to Erik. (Bonus if Erik is horribly confused.)
fic  au:realworld  theme:family  theme:friendship  theme:love  theme:clueless  trope:matchmaking  favs:marvel  for-kayla  opinion:adorable  opinion:awesome  opinion:sweet  u:marvel  m:x-men:firstclass  c:xmen:charles  c:xmen:erik  c:xmen:raven  c:xmen:ensemble  theme:romance  theme:kids  p:xmen:charles/erik  genre:slash  rating:pg  author:temperance_k  @lj 
july 2011 by scorpionvoices
Sometimes a Banana is Not Actually a Banana - bergann - Generation Kill [Archive of Our Own]
Ray's an unappreciated genius, there's no fucking doubt about it, but then again -- he works better when no one sees him coming. [1617]
fic  tv:generationkill  missingscene  c:gk:ray  c:gk:brad  theme:friendship  theme:snark  hilarity  trope:matchmaking  p:gk:brad/nate  genre:slash  @ao3  rating:pg-13 
january 2011 by scorpionvoices
ignipes: Did you write the book of love?
Eliot sends a text message to Nate: 'dead dead dead dead dead'.

Five minutes later Nate replies: 'keep up the good work! we're counting on you! :)'

The good thing about Nate's newfound sobriety is that his text messages are now 100% more legible than they used to be. It's a lot easier to figure out what he means when there is a correlation between what he wants to say and the keys his fingers hit.

Eliot shoots back: 'after i kill them im coming 4 u.'

Nate: 'super! :)'

The bad thing is that Nate's messages now contain 100% more smiley faces and exclamation points than they used to. [1400]
fic  tv:leverage  oneshot  c:leverage:eliot  c:leverage:nathan  c:leverage:alec  c:leverage:parker  c:leverage:sophie  humor  trope:matchmaking  favs:leverage  opinion:adorable  p:leverage:alec/parker  theme:team!  genre:gen  rating:pg-13  author:ignipes  @lj 
october 2010 by scorpionvoices
hackthis: The Greenhouse-Birdbath-Kitchen-Sink Drama Network
Neville heard it first from his posies, who apparently had heard it from the busybody bluebird who came by every afternoon at half-three to have a dip in the six-tiered birdbath in Greenhouse B.

The bluebird had overheard it while sitting outside an open window in Gryffindor tower, while the fat lady was spilling the goods to the milkmaid who was visiting from the portrait by the staircase to the Slytherin dungeon. How the milkmaid had come by this information in such a dodgy part of the castle wasn’t made clear to Neville, but obviously this wasn’t the most reliable information network he had ever heard of, which is possibly why he felt somewhat hurt when his flowers told him that Ron Weasley fancied him too. After all, Neville had told them his about his crush in secrecy and this was no way to pay him back for all the time and attention he’d given them.

He didn’t want to be known as the bloke who raised gossipy flowers.
fic  b:harrypotter  oneshot  c:hp:neville  c:hp:ron  unusualpairing  theme:clueless  theme:firstkiss  trope:matchmaking  genre:crack  genre:slash  author:hackthis  favs:hp  opinion:awesome  rating:pg-13  @lj 
september 2010 by scorpionvoices
inception_kink: Prompt Post No. 1
"Fine. You know what? Fine!" Arthur says. "Let's go out with courage." And he straightens his tie and his jacket.

And then he grabs Eames's shirt collar and kisses him.

"No regrets," he says, eyes bright, and then jumps.
fic  inception  comment!fic  post-series  inception:arthur  inception:eames  inception:ariadne  inception:yusuf  theme:friendship  theme:firstkiss  trope:matchmaking  fluff  slash  theme:angst  rating:pg-13  pairing:inc:arthur/eames 
august 2010 by scorpionvoices
chopchica: Predatory Analysis
“You come from a civilized planet, yes? Active military, tall buildings, heavy machinery.”


“So, it is impossible to believe such a planet would lack basic cutlery.”

Ronon Dex put down his handful of salad and stared at Radek. Radek stared back before looking down toward his belt.

“It would have been more believable if you had stabbed at things with your knife.”

Ronon Dex nodded slowly. “I was waiting to see if anybody noticed.”
fic  sga  oneshot  sga:radek  sga:ronon  humor  theme:seduction  trope:matchmaking  theme:firstkiss  radek/ronon  unusualpairing  slash  rating:pg-13 
may 2010 by scorpionvoices
sparky77: How Ray Saved the Universe, Blasphemed a Whole Lot, and Finally Got Laid
For the most part, Heaven is a very organized place. There is order and structure and all the angels have a rank and know their place.

There is also Ray.

The demons say that Ray belongs with them. That he must have gotten lost. That he’ll find his way down to them eventually.

The angels say that Ray must be some sort of punishment. That they must have angered God and he sent them Ray to teach them about patience, or as a reminder that they must love all of God’s creatures no matter how strange. Or, as suggested by the angel Walter on a particularly trying day, because God’s a vindictive bastard with a mean sense of humor who loves to watch angels squirm.
fic  tv:generationkill  au:nothuman  genre:crack  c:gk:ray  c:gk:walt  theme:angels  hilarity  p:gk:ray/walt  p:gk:brad/nate  trope:matchmaking  genre:slash  rating:r  LOLZ  favs:randomfandom  author:sparky77  @lj 
may 2010 by scorpionvoices
anon: Matchmaking for Dummies
It starts with an angel waking up in Sam's bed. How this happens is anyone's guess, for three reasons. One, Sam does not allow anyone into his bed, not since Ruby, and definitely not anyone of the non-human persuasion. Two, to the best of his knowledge, angels don't sleep, not even this angel, who is maybe a little more human than most. And three, this particular angel belongs to Sam's brother, no matter that both of them are too stupid to admit it to themselves or each other.
fic  spn  spn:sam  spn:castiel  spn:gabriel  trope:matchmaking  hilarity  boysaredorks  shenanigans  castiel/dean  sam/gabriel  cute  slash  favs:spn  for-kayla  rating:pg-13 
april 2010 by scorpionvoices
Not Heaven
Gaara jerks his head up, eyes wide. “But—” he starts, then hesitates. “How can you be friends with someone who isn’t your friend?”

Naruto shrugs one shoulder and looks away, uncomfortable, and he isn’t thinking of Sasuke. Really. “Sometimes, the other person is just worth it. Sometimes they’ve done something that makes them worth your loyalty. Sometimes you just like them. Sometimes it’s all three, or something completely different.” Turning back to Gaara, he raises his mug in a form of salute. “There’s never any one reason for something. How do you know that someone doesn’t consider you a friend, anyway? You’ve just got to decide, at some point, that they’re yours.”
fic  an:naruto  oneshot  c:naru:naruto  c:naru:gaara  theme:h/c  theme:friendship  theme:love  theme:firstkiss  theme:clueless  trope:matchmaking  humor  worldbuilding  style:philosophical  favs:naruto  genre:action  rating:pg-13  opinion:sweet  genre:slash  p:naru:gaara/naruto 
january 2010 by scorpionvoices
A Short Note to One of Those Left Behind
Dear Patrick Stump, Okay, so both Pete Wentz and Frank Iero are married. This knowledge spoils a whole lot of my hopes for your gay future, I don’t mind saying. I realize that you could potentially be gay with any number of stunningly attractive or even quite ordinary young men, of course. However, I am a bit particular in regards to your gay requirements, and thus concerned. (See list below). [to be pondered]
journal:entry  stungunbilly  humor  fob:patrick  trope:matchmaking  for-kayla 
september 2008 by scorpionvoices
fyndan: Xander's Best Effort
He was still musing when her voice called him back, "Isn't that right Xander? Xander! Is that right?"

"What? Yes." The yes was an early habit, an easy habit. Willow was normally right. Why argue?

"Thank you!" Her voice was victorious, and from the looks he was getting, maybe Willow was possibly wrong.

"Wait, what? What'd I say yes to?"
fic  tv:btvs  au:realworld  c:btvs:xander  c:btvs:oz  trope:matchmaking  theme:firstkiss  p:btvs:oz/xander  ge:slash  humor  r:pg-13  o:sweet 
december 2007 by scorpionvoices
etcetera_cat: Learn to Speak Canine in Seven Easy Steps
Diefenbaker is of the firm opinion that humans actually make more sense if you don’t listen to them. They spend that much time flapping their lips and pushing air about, that they seem to completely disregard— and, indeed, don’t even seem to understand— well over ninety percent of their own body language.

Master species of the planet? Only because they invented Krispy Kreme.
fic  duesouth  oneshot  ds:diefenbaker  ds:fraser  ds:rayk  style:outsidePOV  theme:clueless  theme:angst  theme:snark  theme:first-time  LOLZ  trope:matchmaking  humor  fraser/rayk  slash  favs:duesouth  rating:pg-13 
april 2007 by scorpionvoices
luzdeestrellas: Swing on a Star
“You know,” Danny said, after a moment’s contemplation of how Rusty’s long fingers looked slipping in and out of his mouth, “it’s doing things like that in front of me that probably gives people the wrong idea.”

Rusty shrugged. “It’s probably you watching me do it that does it. Or it could be me putting you up in my hotel. Kept man, and all.”

“It’s possible you have a point. Still, not to know. We’re slipping, Rus.”

Rusty nodded. “That is upsetting. And to have only found out by accident. I feel my status as knower of things has been impugned.”

“I feel more than that’s been impugned, but the other things I can live with.”
fic  ocean11  missingscene  o11:danny  o11:rusty  theme:clueless  trope:matchmaking  theme:first-time  shenanigans  humor  BFFpairing  danny/rusty  slash  r 
april 2007 by scorpionvoices

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