scorpionvoices + theme:shenanigans   774

On Being Bar Mitzvahed - write_away - Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett [Archive of Our Own]
Zachary Hirsch is quite certain that he's never met Uncle Anthony and Uncle Ezra before, but all sorts of relatives have come out of the woodwork for his bar mitzvah, so it's not like he's surprised.

Crowley and Aziraphale occasionally crash b'nei mitzvahs, confuse the bar mitzvah boy, and leave presents. [1212]
fic  b:goodomens  post-series  c:go:aziraphale  c:go:crowley  n:outsidePOV  theme:undercover  theme:shenanigans  theme:snark  o:hilarious  p:go:aziraphale/crowley  ge:slash  ge:fluff  r:pg  @ao3 
july 2019 by scorpionvoices
escape artist - Yuu_chi - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia [Archive of Our Own]
These days Katsuki’s two-step plan to avoiding his problems looks like this:

Step one: if a problem arises, the first course of action is explosions. (What? He’s an improved person not a new one, sometimes the best approach in life is the classic one.)

Step two: if step one fails, pretend like it worked. The problem is now dead to him, refuse to acknowledge its continued existence until it has the gall to try and blow up in his face. [6704]
fic  an:bokunoheroacademia  c:bnha:bakugou  c:bnha:todoroki  theme:emotionalconstipation  theme:clueless  theme:seduction  theme:dating  theme:futurefic  theme:shenanigans  theme:friendship  theme:firstkiss  p:bnha:bakugou/todoroki  ge:fluff  ge:slash  r:pg-13  @ao3 
june 2019 by scorpionvoices
Bumpy Future - Dovey - Naruto [Archive of Our Own]
It's her last year at the academy when Sakura hits her head. When she wakes up, she has a little trouble matching memories to the people in them- but she'll have to get it right eventually, yeah?

in which sakura pairs vague associations with the wrong people, and everyone is much happier because of it (Except Iruka-sensei). [2553]

[THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!! It's perfect!]
fic  an:naruto  au:justalittledifferent  c:naru:sakura  c:naru:kiba  c:naru:ino  c:naru:ensemble  trope:amnesia  theme:friendship  theme:shenanigans  theme:fix-it  theme:snark  theme:love  p:naru:hinata/sakura  ge:femslash  r:pg  @ao3  o:hilarious 
june 2019 by scorpionvoices
Texas Smashed (the Walls Around His Heart) - Kyonarai - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia [Archive of Our Own]
Toshinori brings his cat to work. Shouta gives up on pretenses. [3670]
“I can also recognize a crush when I have one.” Shouta was saying then, and Toshinori’s mind completely blanked.

“I was going to ignore it. Professionalism and all that.” He continued, and Toshinori felt a little bit of the hope he didn’t know he’d had festering falter like a sputtering candle flame. “But then you had to go and have the perfect cat on top of everything else.”

“What’re you-?” He had to ask, his head was a mess of conflicting feelings the like of which he hadn’t dealt with in decades.

“I’m saying I love your stupid face and your terrible personality and your gorgeous fucking cat. I moved my stuff in. We’re dating now.” He flopped back against the couch, looking exhausted by that much emotional expenditure.
fic  an:bokunoheroacademia  c:bnha:toshinori  c:bnha:aizawa  theme:sliceoflife  theme:pets  theme:shenanigans  theme:domesticity  theme:emotionalconstipation  theme:clueless  theme:pining  theme:dating  p:bnha:aizawa/toshinori  ge:slash  r:pg-13  @ao3  o:adorable  o:hilarious 
march 2019 by scorpionvoices
A New Mode of Living - Perpetual Motion (perpetfic) - Band of Brothers [Archive of Our Own]
After the war, Carwood goes home, gets gifted something larger than a bread box, and comes to realize the promise he made to Ron is one he wants to keep. [150,502]

[To this day one of the best and longest BoB fic I have ever read. True to character, sweet but not schmaltzy, hilarious, and poignant, this will always be one of my very favorites.]
fic  tv:bandofbrothers  post-series  post-war  c:bob:lipton  c:bob:speirs  c:bob:luz  c:bob:toye  c:bob:winters  c:bob:nixon  theme:aftermath  theme:fixing  theme:friendship  theme:friendstolovers  theme:pets  theme:angst  theme:love  theme:foundfamily  theme:secretlovers  theme:illness  theme:PTSD  theme:homophobia  theme:h/c  theme:family  theme:shenanigans  theme:snark  theme:HEA  l:novel  p:bob:lipton/speirs  p:bob:nixon/winters  p:bob:luz/toye  ge:slash  ge:drama  ge:fluff  r:r  @ao3 
december 2018 by scorpionvoices
cat magnet - adhdmollymauk - Critical Role (Web Series) [Archive of Our Own]
Two things happen in very quick succession. The cat opens its eyes, which are red and pupil-less, and just as Caleb's half-asleep mind is starting to put two and two together, Beau comes barreling into his room.

"Aw fuck, is that where he went?" she says. "Caleb, I swear I tried to stop him."

"Stop whom from what exactly," says Caleb, who is pretty sure he already knows. [1224]
fic  u:criticalrole  web:criticalrole2  c:cr:caleb  c:cr:beau  c:cr:molly  theme:transformation  theme:cuddling  theme:friendship  theme:shenanigans  o:hilarious  ge:gen  r:pg  @ao3 
october 2018 by scorpionvoices
A Crystal Moment - phoenixyfriend - Voltron: Legendary Defender [Archive of Our Own]
In which Lance tries to take Keith's mind off of his angst by talking shit, Hunk gives the best hugs, and Keith really wants to know why Lance is doing the whole "soft gasp" thing while Keith is holding a Balmera crystal. [5691]

[First one is mostly gen team!fic goodness. Sequel is Hunk/Keith/Lance and is equally adorable and well-characterized. I've tagged for both.]
fic  ca:voltronLD  c:vld:keith  c:vld:shiro  c:vld:pidge  c:vld:hunk  c:vld:lance  c:vld:allura  n:episoderelated  theme:secrets  theme:friendship  theme:cuddling  theme:h/c  theme:bigotry  theme:asexuality  theme:pining  theme:seduction  theme:snark  theme:shenanigans  theme:team!  p:vld:hunk/keith/lance  ge:gen  ge:slash  r:pg-13  @ao3 
september 2018 by scorpionvoices
frost and dark - Rethira - Rise of the Guardians (2012) [Archive of Our Own]
“Who are you?” Jack asks.

The man laughs loudly, echoes bouncing off of the dungeon walls. “Why, my dear Jack,” he says, leaning closer and reaching for Jack’s chin, “I am the Nightmare King.”

(A retelling of Beauty and the Beast, with far more sass, a large number of failed romantic dates and an increasingly inappropriate amount of flirting) [33957]
fic  m:riseoftheguardians  au:fairytale  c:rotg:jack  c:rotg:pitch  c:rotg:ensemble  theme:captivity  theme:fixing  theme:injury  theme:angst  theme:shenanigans  theme:love  theme:war  theme:HEA  p:rotg:jack/pitch  ge:drama  ge:slash  r:pg-13  @ao3 
september 2018 by scorpionvoices
Days of Gladiator Love - BossToaster (ChaoticReactions) - Voltron: Legendary Defender [Archive of Our Own]
Turns out, there was a fair bit of merchandising involved with the Gladiator battles, especially with their more famous fighters.

Apparently, this includes romance novels. [3589]

[I CRIED I DIED I AM STILL LAUGHING]
fic  ca:voltronLD  oneshot  c:vld:shiro  c:vld:pidge  c:vld:lance  vld:keith  c:vld:hunk  c:vld:allura  theme:friendship  theme:team!  theme:shenanigans  theme:snark  o:LOLZ  ge:gen  r:r  @ao3 
august 2018 by scorpionvoices
Unafraid - buttered_onions - Voltron: Legendary Defender [Archive of Our Own]
Something big is happening at Hogwarts this year; Shiro's really not worried about it. Hufflepuffs aren't known for making history.

Usually. [6911]

[This entire fic is beautiful, warm, and not shy about making sure you know that everything good mentioned is just the calm before the storm.]
fic  ca:voltronLD  au:fusion  b:harrypotter  c:vld:shiro  c:vld:matt  c:vld:allura  c:vld:keith  c:vld:ensemble  theme:domesticity  theme:foundfamily  theme:friendship  theme:shenanigans  theme:snark  ge:gen  r:pg  @ao3 
august 2018 by scorpionvoices
Isn't There a White Knight - BossToaster (ChaoticReactions) - Voltron: Legendary Defender [Archive of Our Own]
Kink Meme FIll: "In the first episode, Lance says that Shiro is his hero. But Shiro is still just a guy in his mid twenties, and we've seen him join in on silly stuff ("Blam blam blam!").

So what I want is five times Lance sees Shiro do dorky, ridiculous things, and one time he realizes he'd still follow this dork to Hell and back."

 
C'mon, as if I could pass that up. [7223]
fic  ca:voltronLD  style:fivethings  c:vld:lance  c:vld:shiro  c:vld:keith  c:vld:pidge  c:vld:hunk  theme:shenanigans  theme:snark  theme:boysaredorks  o:hilarious  ge:gen  r:pg-13  @ao3 
august 2018 by scorpionvoices
how do you tell a girl you want to kiss her? - theformerone - Naruto [Archive of Our Own]
For prompt no. 17 “Would you like to explain to me why you just put a hole in my wall?”

Shikamaru punches a hole through Sakura's wall. She can't really deal with that until she has her morning coffee. [1084]
fic  an:naruto  c:naru:sakura  c:naru:shikamaru  c:naru:chouji  theme:shenanigans  theme:snark  theme:pining  theme:dating  o:hilarious  p:naru:sakura/shikamaru  ge:het  r:pg-13  @ao3 
august 2018 by scorpionvoices
Mutua Est - Lady Adain (pocketTherapist) - Bleach [Archive of Our Own]
“Look, moron, everyone knows you two are gone for each other. You stopped watching him like an experiment and started watching him like a puppy almost three years ago. A year and a half ago he started watching you the same way. However, you are the most emotionally blind idiot in the world, and Ichigo wouldn’t know romance if it hit him over the head. Literally." [1415]
fic  an:bleach  post-series  c:bleach:hiyori  c:bleach:utakata  c:bleach:ichigo  c:bleach:shinji  theme:pining  theme:emotionalconstipation  theme:boysaredorks  theme:shenanigans  theme:snark  theme:firstkiss  p:bleach:ichigo/urahara  ge:slash  r:pg-13  @ao3 
august 2018 by scorpionvoices
break common laws in twos and threes - jucee - Bleach [Archive of Our Own]
“Are you dying?” Zaraki asks.

“No,” Byakuya replies. “But you might be.” [1656]
“Ugh!” Renji exclaims, then looks even more horrified than before. “I-I’m sorry, Taichou! I didn’t mean ‘ugh’ like... as in... not that Zaraki-taichou is... or you are... I mean, it’s just...”

Byakuya presses his lips into a firm line; he is not going to let the hormones win.

“It’s just... Zaraki-taichou was my previous captain, and now you’re my captain, and it’s like,” Renji’s voice drops to a mortified whisper, “It’s like I have proof that my parents have sex.”

Byakuya waits for Renji to flee his office before he puts his head down on his desk and laughs so hard that the baby kicks him in the ribs.
fic  an:bleach  c:bleach:byakuya  c:bleach:zaraki  theme:establishedrelationship  trope:mpreg  theme:shenanigans  theme:snark  theme:kids  n:unusualpairing  p:bleach:byakuya/zaraki  ge:slash  ge:fluff  r:pg-13  @ao3 
august 2018 by scorpionvoices
Welcome to the Jungle - blue_wonderer - The Flash (TV 2014) [Archive of Our Own]
“Hell no,” Len says.

“Heck yes,” Barry exclaims, from the couch, where he’s letting the gangly puppy walk all over him and, ugh, lick his face.

 

Barry starts volunteering at an animal shelter. He lasts exactly one day before he starts bringing animals home. Mick goes along with it. Len... Protests. A lot. [1442]
“Barry, this has got to stop.”

“But look at her!” Barry begs, holding up the grey cat with the big blue eyes. “She reminds me of you!”

“In what way?” Len asks icily.

“Her blue eyes,” Barry says.

“The way she knocks over things when we stop paying attention to her,” Mick adds from the floor where he’s opening the ferret cage to refill their food.
fic  u:DC  tv:flash  c:flash:len  c:flash:barry  c:flash:mick  OT3  theme:establishedrelationship  theme:domesticity  theme:pets  o:hilarious  theme:shenanigans  theme:love  p:flash:barry/len/mick  ge:slash  r:pg  @ao3 
august 2018 by scorpionvoices
Stray Cat Strut - blackkat - Naruto [Archive of Our Own]
There have to be some benefits to being the only housecat in a family of goddamn panthers. Cozying up to the neighbor just happens happens to be one of them, in Obito's opinion. [1283]
fic  an:naruto  au:modern  au:magicalrealism  c:naru:obito  c:naru:kisame  theme:shapeshifters  theme:pining  theme:firstmeetings  theme:shenanigans  p:naru:kisame/obito  ge:slash  ge:fluff  r:pg-13  @ao3 
august 2018 by scorpionvoices
Inappropriate Fear Response - Ramabear (RyMagnatar) - Naruto [Archive of Our Own]
They're six days into the mission that should have been a cakewalk. Shisui has a brilliant idea to flush out the bandits hidden on the side of Bear Mountain, although the rest of his team isn't so keen on the 'set fire to the mountainside'. At first.

Uchiha Shisui has a bit more of a lust for fire than your average Konoha ninja, and, Kakashi thinks, a completely inappropriate response to running pell-mell down the side of a burning mountain. Of course he does. He's an Uchiha. They're all mental. [4232]
fic  an:naruto  au:everyonelives  c:naru:shisui  c:naru:kakashi  theme:questing  theme:shenanigans  theme:snark  theme:firstkiss  theme:dating  hilarity  n:unusualpairing  p:naru:kakashi/shisui  ge:slash  ge:action  r:pg-13  @ao3 
august 2018 by scorpionvoices
Discretion and Restraint - notavodkashot - Bleach [Archive of Our Own]
With Kurosaki Ichigo effectively removed from the picture, after Aizen's defeat, Zaraki Kenpachi has shifted his sights to the next best thing. Abarai Renji wishes more than anything in the world that said “thing” was not Kuchiki Byakuya.

Or at the very least, that Byakuya himself would stop encouraging him. [109,129]

[The one where Zaraki and Byakuya are actually kind of friends and this drives Renji up a wall because SO MUCH PROPERTY-DAMAGE, DAMMIT!! Also, Renji and Shinji are accidental buddies, even though Shinji has this weird thing with Kurotsuchi where Shinji is deadpan and Kurotsichi is ranty and they hang out and "hate" each other.

The character development in this fic is pretty much to die for, is what I'm saying.]
fic  an:bleach  c:bleach:renji  c:bleach:byakuya  c:bleach:zaraki  c:bleach:rukia  c:bleach:kuukaku  c:bleach:yoruichi  c:bleach:shinji  c:bleach:kurotsuchi  c:bleach:zabimaru  c:bleach:isshin  theme:aftermath  theme:emotionalconstipation  theme:shenanigans  theme:injury  theme:h/c  theme:love  theme:first-time  theme:totherescue!  theme:competency!!!  theme:boysaredorks  theme:family  theme:fixing  theme:snark  theme:friendship  theme:frenemies  theme:HEA  p:bleach:byakuya/renji  ge:slash  ge:drama  ge:action  r:pg-13  @ao3 
august 2018 by scorpionvoices
a thousand miles up and we're about to get higher - blackkat - Naruto [Archive of Our Own]
There's a man hiding in the eaves of his porch.

Sakumo blinks, tips his head, but the image doesn’t change. A shinobi in a Konoha uniform has somehow managed to stuff himself into the corner of the roof, entirely out of sight from practically everywhere except the spot Sakumo is currently standing.

"Can I help you?" he asks bemusedly. [1690]
fic  an:naruto  c:naru:sakumo  c:naru:orochimaru  c:naru:jiraiya  theme:shenanigans  theme:friendship  trope:pretendSO  theme:dating  theme:firstkiss  humor  p:naru:orochimaru/sakumo  ge:slash  r:pg-13  @ao3 
july 2018 by scorpionvoices
Two Ninja (in a tree) - ModernArt2012 - Naruto [Archive of Our Own]
“This is entirely your fault.”

“Maa, maa, Zabuza, it could technically be your fault. Whose apprentice wanted him to live and conspired to make it so?" [1116]

[Tagged as Kakashi/Zabuza, but can also be interpreted as flirty gen.]
fic  an:naruto  au:justalittledifferent  c:naru:zabuza  c:naru:kakashi  c:naru:haku  c:naru:team7  theme:fix-it  theme:totherescue!  theme:snark  theme:trapped  theme:shenanigans  p:naru:kakashi/zabuza  ge:slash  r:pg-13  l:short  @ao3 
july 2018 by scorpionvoices
Of Drapings and Their Trappings - Artemis1000 - Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018) [Archive of Our Own]
Needing to look fashionable, Han is going to wear one of his capes tonight. This doesn't do a thing to Lando. Absolutely nothing. He's completely unaffected. [1387]
fic  u:starwars  m:solo  c:sw:lando  c:sw:han  theme:shenanigans  theme:pining  theme:seduction  hilarity  p:sw:han/lando  ge:slash  r:pg-13  @ao3 
may 2018 by scorpionvoices
On Tilt - 13th_blackbird - Star Wars Original Trilogy [Archive of Our Own]
The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.

Han and Lando understand this about the world—and each other. No hard feelings, right? [3521]
“You want to play?” Han says, nodding at the cards, before he can think better of it. “Or are you just showing off?”

“Can’t it be both?” Lando says. He shuffles again, his fingers dancing over the cards too quickly for Han to make sure he’s not palming any of them. “Stakes?”

“I’m broke,” Han admits. “And I know you are, too.” And before Lando can propose putting up the Falcon again, Han grins as a plan takes shape. “They say clothes make the man. Wanna bet on it?”
fic  u:starwars  m:solo  c:sw:han  c:sw:lando  c:sw:chewbacca  post-movie  theme:friendship  theme:boysaredorks  theme:clueless  theme:shenanigans  theme:rivalstolovers  theme:first-time  p:sw:han/lando  ge:slash  r:nc-17  @ao3 
may 2018 by scorpionvoices
PRojects IN Controlled Environments, version Sith - Beth Winter (BethWinter) - Star Wars - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]
The overworked project manager on the redesign of the Imperial Lambda-class shuttle gets surprisingly competent feedback from an unknown official on Coruscant. She promptly decides that anyone bored enough to do a technical review of their own free will should be found proper employment for their own good.

Her correspondent has been missing the opportunity to tinker with machinery. It gives him something to do between hunting down rebels. [5192]
Red Ink was best with engines, both hyperspace and conventional, but his interests were wide-ranging. Ketha offloaded the ergonomics reviews on him wholesale, because he was unerring in spotting all issues for both fully-able human troopers and any combination of non-human or impaired that the shuttle might have to transport in the line of duty. When he offered testing ideas, the three days spent smearing grip and panel mockups with red jelly definitely broke up the interface designers' routine. It was almost worth the epic row with the janitor droids.
fic  u:starwars  m:starwarsOT  c:sw:oc  c:sw:anakin  pov:outsider  theme:shenanigans  theme:snark  theme:angst  theme:injury  theme:friendship  ge:gen  r:pg  @ao3 
january 2018 by scorpionvoices
Back From the Future: Episode VI The Clone Wars - Ariel_Sojourner - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]
In which Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader travel back in time together to the Clone Wars era, have amazing adventures, and save the galaxy. [108,295]
Vader asked, (well, screamed really) at Luke once when they were arguing: why?! Why stay, why bother? Anakin Skywalker is alive. Luke can go to him if he wants his precious Jedi father. Doesn’t Luke know by now that Vader is not going to change, he is not going to suddenly un-Fall, or be nice, or be good? This is who and what he is! Can’t Luke see it? If he can, why does he stay?

“Because you are my father, my family,” Luke says, hand reaching out but never actually touching, never actually connecting. "Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.“

It is an old Tatooine proverb. Half hope, half prayer because it is nothing more than a fantasy, a lie people tell themselves in the face of ugly reality. Families get left behind and lost all the time on Tatooine, but the poor people of that wretched dust ball still say such nonsense.

His mother used to say it.

Luke is acting like it could be true.
fic  u:starwars  m:starwarsprequels  ca:clonewars  m:starwarsOT  theme:timetravel  theme:fixing  theme:war  theme:love  theme:family  theme:secrets  theme:undercover  theme:totherescue!  theme:fix-it  theme:aftermath  theme:h/c  theme:grief  theme:growingup  theme:revolution  theme:snark  theme:shenanigans  theme:emotionalconstipation  theme:PTSD  theme:kids  theme:HEA  w:characterdeath  p:sw:anakin/padme  p:sw:obiwan/satine  ge:het  ge:action  ge:drama  r:pg-13  @ao3  l:epic 
january 2018 by scorpionvoices
Brewing Coffee Like a Boss - Othalla - The Martian (2015) [Archive of Our Own]
Rich may be hiding pathetically behind a plant from some interns, but he sure has his reasons. [2428]
“Uh.” The man shifts on his feet. “You are Rich Purnell, right?”

Rich nods. “Yeah.”

The man seems to be waiting for something more than a yeah, but Rich can’t for the life of him think of what that possibly could be. Yeah sums up him being himself quite well.

“Right,” the man says finally. “There you have it.”

“I don’t understand.”

The main raises his eyebrows very high. “You’re Rich Purnell.”

“Well I know that.” Rich scowls at him. “But what’s that got to do with hero worshipping interns?”
fic  b:themartian  post-movie  c:martian:rich  c:martian:mark  theme:firstmeetings  theme:clueless  theme:shenanigans  theme:dating  p:martian:mark/rich  ge:fluff  ge:slash  r:pg  @ao3  challenge:yuletide2017 
january 2018 by scorpionvoices
Of Gilded Wallpaper and Meddling Dragons - nerakrose - Temeraire - Naomi Novik [Archive of Our Own]
Laurence and Temeraire have been living with Tharkay for a scant two weeks when Laurence sends Granby a letter that essentially boils down to hi John how did you know you're gay also plz help I am in trouble.[5068]
fic  b:hismajesty'sdragon  c:hmd:laurence  c:hmd:tharkay  c:hmd:temeraire  c:hmd:granby  theme:clueless  theme:pining  theme:friendstolovers  theme:shenanigans  theme:friendship  theme:HEA  p:hmd:laurence/tharkay  ge:slash  r:pg  @ao3  challenge:yuletide2017 
january 2018 by scorpionvoices
Hotheaded but Heartfelt - Maeve_of_Winter - Fantastic Four (Comicverse) [Archive of Our Own]
Johnny makes a point of hanging all over Ben in public. When Ben finally asks him about it, he gets a response he hadn't predicted. [1839]

[I'm a sucker for rare-pairs, and this one is so cute!]
fic  u:marvel  co:fantastic4  c:f4:ben  c:f4:johnny  theme:establishedrelationship  theme:comingout  theme:love  theme:shenanigans  p:f4:ben/johnny  ge:slash  r:pg-13  @ao3  challenge:yuletide2017 
january 2018 by scorpionvoices
You've Got Mail - Jadesfire - Doctor Strange (2016) [Archive of Our Own]
The trials and tribulations of having mundane mail delivered to the New York sanctum. [3354]
When you lived in a stronghold intended to keep out creatures trying to destroy the world, it was easy to get a little jumpy. Still, Stephen thought that going straight from his study to the front door without using the stairs - or indeed the corridors - was probably something of an overreaction. On the plus side, his ability to move through space without actually moving was improving, and practice made perfect.
On the other side of the door, Ernie was holding a small pile of mail, his smile from the previous week not in evidence.

"Ernie," Stephen said, trying to sound cheerful, and not as though he'd panicked and teleported through his own house at the sound of a knock on the door. "And how are you today?"
fic  u:marvel  m:drstrange  c:strange:strange  c:strange:cloak  c:oc  theme:domesticity  theme:snark  theme:shenanigans  ge:gen  r:pg  @ao3  challenge:yuletide2017 
january 2018 by scorpionvoices
make you laugh - applecrumbledore - Check Please! (Webcomic) [Archive of Our Own]
"Think about it," Holster offers. "I'll be around."

Bitty blurts out, "Do you think I'm cute?" and regrets it when Holster laughs, booming and loud.

"Bits, honestly? I think everyone here would be doing the exact same thing I am if they'd thought of it first." [3376]
fic  co:omgcheckplease  c:omgcp:bitty  c:omgcp:holster  theme:friendship  theme:fuckbuddies  theme:snark  theme:lowselfesteem  theme:shenanigans  o:adorable  p:omgcp:bitty/holster  ge:slash  r:r  @ao3 
may 2017 by scorpionvoices
Double Blind - smilebackwards - Daredevil (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
Stark snaps his fingers. “You can’t see half of my inventions. This explains so much about you and why you’ve never been properly impressed by me.” [2381]
fic  u:marvel  tv:daredevil  m:Avengers12  c:dd:matt  c:dd:foggy  c:avengers:ensemble  theme:secrets  theme:shenanigans  theme:team!  theme:competency!!!  p:dd:foggy/matt  ge:slash  r:pg-13  @ao3 
may 2017 by scorpionvoices
Right Idea, Wrong Disability - MsBrooklyn - Daredevil (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
"You...you're blind," Steve sputters and he's aware even as he does it that he sounds like an idiot.

"I am," Daredevil agrees with a smirk that says he's enjoying Steve's reaction way too much. "You could also call me visually impaired if you want to be modern and politically correct about it."

"You're *blind*,' Steve says again.

"I think we've established that."

"But you..."

"Fight crime? Look good in spandex? Welcome to the 21st Century, Steve Rogers. Thanks to the Americans With Disabilities Act, even heroes can be differently abled. The bad guys are bound by law to accommodate us." He chuckles as if he can see Steve's face which Steve knows he can't. "I'm kidding but it would be nice, right?" [8755]
fic  u:marvel  tv:daredevil  m:Avengers12  c:dd:matt  c:dd:foggy  c:avengers:steve  c:avengers:clint  c:avengers:ensemble  theme:disability  theme:snark  theme:shenanigans  theme:competency!!!  theme:friendship  theme:secrets  ge:gen  r:pg-13  @ao3 
may 2017 by scorpionvoices
Little Differences - Amuly - The Lord of the Rings (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
Four Things Legolas and Gimli Found Differed Between Them... and One Thing That Was the Same [5265]
“You lie with this hairless tall one, who looks down his nose at us from his highest seat as first born?!”

“You allow one of those mistakenly-created imperfect ones to lie with your blessed figure?”

Abruptly the hall erupted, simmering tensions between the two sides of the table finally bubbling over into a full, roaring boil. Dwarves jumped onto the table and stormed across it: elves threw them to the ground like they were ripe fruit falling to the forest floor. Legolas and Gimli stood on opposite sides of the table, staring longingly at each other as their families battled it out.

Aragorn sat with his head on the table, while Arwen rubbed his back and looked on her kinsmen disapprovingly.
fic  b:lordoftherings  style:fivethings  c:lotr:gimli  c:lotr:legolas  c:lotr:aragorn  theme:cultureclash  theme:friendship  theme:establishedrelationship  theme:love  theme:first-time  theme:racism  theme:HEA  theme:shenanigans  hilarity  p:lotr:gimli/legolas  ge:slash  r:nc-17  @ao3 
may 2017 by scorpionvoices
Dresden Files Kinkmeme Fills - LuciaZephyr - Dresden Files - Jim Butcher [Archive of Our Own]
Catty secretaries, truth spells, #OccultChicago, how to accidentally become a Wyldfae lord, and other tales both silly and serious. [29,352]

[The secretary au! The one where Harry takes a bath! The one where Harry becomes a Freeholding Lord through the power of pizza and friendship! Ugh, so good.]
fic  b:dresdenfiles  c:dresden:harrydresden  c:dresden:marcone  c:dresden:ensemble  theme:clueless  theme:politics  theme:snark  theme:shenanigans  theme:curse  theme:competency!!!  theme:first-time  theme:h/c  w:raperecovery  p:dresden:harry/marcone  ge:gen  ge:slash  ge:drama  ge:fluff  r:nc-17  @ao3 
april 2017 by scorpionvoices
Black Magic Woman - beachkid (binz), binz, shiplizard - Dresden Files - Jim Butcher [Archive of Our Own]
Abracadabra! Alakazam! Make Harry Dresden's drag alter ego APPEAR! (And ruin John Marcone's business meeting.) [5114]
In her stiletto heeled Oxfords she easily topped seven feet, but she couldn't have weighed more than one sixty-- minus what must have been the twenty pounds of sequins that made up her tailcoat and top hat. And her bow tie. And her tuxedo shirt leotard. Her sky high legs were covered in fishnet with glittery spades, clubs, diamonds and hearts worked into the pattern. She had cheekbones you could see from space, large dark eyes, a bright red pout, and a huge mane of chestnut curls.

She was also, impossibly, familiar.

My phone went off. I reached for it, yanking my eyes away from her sashay across the stage.

(is that who it looks like???)

Hendricks despises text speak and excessive punctuation. He must have been even more startled than I was.

(didnt know he could actlly lose 5clck shdw), I responded.

[...]

I watched the stage out of the corner of my eye: the magician wrapped up her lipsynch with a shower of fake snow, and spread her arms wide for the crowd. "Hello, darlings! My name is Devine Copafeel--" of course it was.


[I don't know how I've never managed to bookmark this before; it's one of my favorites, and one of the few Dresden fics out there that is hysterically funny without sacrificing characterization.]
fic  b:dresdenfiles  oneshot  c:dresden:marcone  c:dresden:hendricks  c:dresden:gard  c:dresden:harrydresden  theme:shenanigans  theme:frenemies  theme:snark  LOLZ  p:dresden:harry/marcone  ge:fluff  ge:slash  r:pg-13  @ao3 
april 2017 by scorpionvoices
Kore - oneiriad - Greek and Roman Mythology [Archive of Our Own]
The day her mother gives birth to a horse is the day Persephone decides that she really needs a plan. [5673] [It's nice to read an Ace fic that doesn't make me want to scratch my eyes out and is genuinely funny]
"Here you go. You take care of him, while I see to your mother."

Persephone stares at the warm bundle in her arms and then at the short, wrinkled goddess currently washing blood off her hands.

"But what am I supposed to do with him?"

"The usual - hold him, feed him, burp him. Really, Persephone, you're almost a grown woman. You should know these things already, you'll be having your own soon enough."

"I? What? No, I won't!"

"Oh, don't be silly, Persephone, I really don't have time for it. Now, go ask one of the nymphs to fetch some mare's milk and stop bothering me. Your mother needs stitches and I need to get to work now, if we're not going to have to send for Asclepius."

And off she goes, closing the door behind her, leaving Persephone alone with her newborn brother in her arms, her mother's screams of pain still echoing in her ears and an absolute and total conviction that she is not, ever, under any circumstance, going to go through that.
fic  misc:mythology  c:myth:persephone  c:myth:athena  a:myth:hermes  c:myth:demeter  c:myth:hades  c:myth:zeus  theme:asexuality  theme:shenanigans  theme:snark  theme:womenareawesome  theme:competency!!!  theme:friendship  theme:HEA  ge:gen  r:pg-13  @ao3 
april 2017 by scorpionvoices
Foreign Tongues - ThrillingDetectiveTales - The Magnificent Seven (2016) [Archive of Our Own]
Jack, who still had the devil in him most days and didn't appreciate suddenly having a rider who wouldn't let him stretch his legs, pawed at the dirt a little. He turned his big, wet eyes on Josh and asked, ears twitching, "Why are we crossing this hot, dry desert?"

Josh blinked.

"Excuse me?"

It was a fine question, excepting that it had come from a horse. [1224]
fic  m:magnificentseven  post-movie  c:mag7:faraday  c:mag7:vasquez  theme:fix-it  theme:permanentinjury  theme:druguse  theme:shenanigans  theme:establishedrelationship  p:mag7:faraday/vasquez  ge:slash  r:pg-13  @ao3 
november 2016 by scorpionvoices
Look at My Hands, Don't Look at My Hands - kittykatthetacodemon - The Magnificent Seven (2016) [Archive of Our Own]
It's the late 1800s, and one in four folks out west in the precarious settler communities develops a gift, a unique power that gives them some kind of advantage. Sam Chisolm has enhanced senses. Billy Rocks is damn hard to kill. Goody doesn't have a gift, unless you count being a stone-cold badass when the mood strikes. Vasquez is an empath, Red Harvest controls lightning, and Jack Horne can see the future. Emma Cullen, their new employer, can sometimes raise the dead.

And Faraday? Well, he's harmless, really. He's got his own skills, a bit of this and that. Nothing to worry about.

Or: that one AU where everything is the same, except nobody dies and also they have superpowers. [15,610]
“Now, I’ve got no powers,” he said. “No gifts to speak of, save my good looks and God-given talents.” Faraday found himself impressed; most snipers had a little something extra for their aim. “But my friend Billy, here, he’s got something I like to call cockroach tendencies. It is nigh-on impossible to kill this man. Why, I once saw a man put a gun to the back of his head and pull the trigger, and Billy’s still here.”

“What happened?” Teddy asked, clearly not believing it.

Robicheaux waved a lazy hand in his direction. “Oh, the gun backfired. Damn near blew off the fool’s arm, and Billy didn’t so much as flinch.”

“I turned around and gutted the man, Goody,” Billy told him, dry as bone. “I’d call that more than a flinch.”
fic  m:magnificentseven  c:mag7:faraday  c:mag7:vasquez  c:mag7:redharvest  c:mag7:horne  c:mag7:billy  c:mag7:goodnight  c:mag7:chisolm  c:mag7:emma  theme:superpowers  theme:snark  theme:shenanigans  theme:friendship  theme:injury  theme:h/c  theme:foundfamily  p:mag7:faraday/vasquez  ge:gen  ge:drama  r:r  @ao3 
november 2016 by scorpionvoices
Sometimes It Takes a Village - Hazel_Athena - The Magnificent Seven (2016) [Archive of Our Own]
In which Faraday thinks he's a man on a mission, but really he needs to just get over himself and go after what he wants. [6028]
Unlike his first several targets, Faraday knows better than approaching the next one at home. He also knows better than to show up without some kind of bribery, which is why he walks into the mechanic’s garage carrying a tray of coffee and a bag of chocolate donuts.

“Huh,” says Red as he rolls himself out from beneath the truck he’s working on. “None of the others mentioned getting treats when you came calling.”

“That ‘cause none of the others are liable to break my face for asking them to get involved in my personal shit.”

Red just cocks a knowing eyebrow at him.

“Okay, except for Billy,” Faraday acknowledges. “But that was why I made sure Goodnight was there when I got his opinion.”
fic  m:magnificentseven  au:realworld  c:mag7:faraday  c:mag7:vasquez  c:mag7:ensemble  theme:emotionalconstipation  theme:boysaredorks  theme:shenanigans  theme:snark  theme:domesticity  theme:love  p:mag7:faraday/vasquez  ge:slash  r:r  @ao3 
november 2016 by scorpionvoices
Revenge is best served @ - Perpetual Motion (perpetfic) - Check Please! (Webcomic) [Archive of Our Own]
The ESPN hockey anchors take a cheap shot. Bitty takes one back. [1894]
Bitty: Don't know if you saw, but Shitty's on at least carafe #2 of coffee and mad at Douche and Turd.

Jack: Tater just did it as a dramatic reading, then Kentucky brought up the feed, and now you have 23 manly hockey men ready to destroy the world for you.

Bitty: Well, that's very kind, but let them know Nadine and I are on it.

Jack: Kentucky requests, since they insulted you, I pay bail for you both. I've agreed.
fic  co:omgcheckplease  post-series  c:omgcp:bitty  c:omgcp:jack  c:omgcp:shitty  c:omgcp:lardo  theme:futurefic  theme:domesticity  theme:establishedrelationship  theme:snark  theme:shenanigans  LOLZ  p:omgcp:bitty/jack  ge:slash  ge:fluff  r:pg-13  @ao3 
november 2016 by scorpionvoices
First Impressions - potentiality_26 - Longmire (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
Henry looked like he’d be slipping bites to the dog, if the Pipers had had a dog. Being Henry, he was probably even smooth enough to get away with it.

Walt has had worse meals than this one. He just can't think of them right now, for a variety of reasons. [5063]

[Walt takes Henry with him to meet Cady's new boyfriend and his parents. Conclusions are jumped to. Lightbulbs appear. Walt becomes marginally less emotionally-constipated. Henry smirks a lot.]
fic  tv:longmire  c:longmire:walt  c:longmire:henry  c:longmire:cady  theme:family  theme:friendship  theme:homophobia  theme:snark  theme:shenanigans  theme:emotionalconstipation  theme:clueless  theme:firstkiss  theme:love  p:longmire:henry/walt  ge:slash  ge:fluff  r:pg-13  @ao3 
november 2016 by scorpionvoices
Frontier Cadence - manic_intent - The Magnificent Seven (2016) [Archive of Our Own]
The revelation that he was in fact alive and in one piece came as a total surprise to Josh Faraday. Granted, this wasn’t in fact his first rodeo with certain-but-then-thwarted death, and as such, Faraday stared muzzily in a semi-drugged daze at the cracked ceiling for a long and puzzled moment before panic set in. He groped downwards. Nope. Dick still intact. Faraday relaxed.

“It absolutely goddamned figured,” Goodnight said dryly somewhere to his left, “that you’d be worried about that first before everythin’ else.” [2952]
“His name’s not really ‘Billy’, is it?” Faraday asked, still bleary. “I mean. ‘Billy Rocks’? That’s a fake name if I seen one. Nearly as fake-soundin’ as ‘Goodnight Robicheaux’, though I’m pretty sure that’s your real name. My condolences, honestly.”

Goodnight sighed. “This was my grandfather’s name, rest his soul. As to Billy, neither of us would be capable of pronouncing his real name. So ‘Billy’ it is. Maybe we shouldn’t have given you laudanum. You do seem to be having quite a reaction.”
fic  m:magnificentseven  post-movie  c:mag7:faraday  c:mag7:goodnight  c:mag7:billy  c:mag7:vasquez  c:mag7:emma  theme:aftermath  theme:injury  theme:fix-it  theme:snark  theme:shenanigans  theme:h/c  theme:establishedrelationship  theme:love  p:mag7:billy/goodnight  p:mag7:faraday/vasquez  ge:slash  r:nc-17  a:manicintent  @ao3 
october 2016 by scorpionvoices
Learn Or Die - WearyBlues - The Magnificent Seven (2016) [Archive of Our Own]
Billy has lived through 53 matches. He’s been through California, Arizona, and Texas, but the smoke always tastes the same. Between the matches, Billy learned a lot about the white man’s world. His english is quick and polished now, as are his guns. [681]
ficlet  m:magnificentseven  pre-movie  c:mag7:billy  c:mag7:goodnight  characterstudy  theme:firstmeetings  theme:friendship  theme:snark  theme:shenanigans  ge:gen  r:pg-13  @ao3 
october 2016 by scorpionvoices
Cowboys - SnubbingApollo - The Magnificent Seven (2016) [Archive of Our Own]
"Better than sleeping outside," Vasquez countered. He was sitting by the fire with his blanket wrapped around his shoulders having long since given up on his bed.

"Barely," Faraday muttered, pulling his blanket tighter around himself. "Times like this I envy Billy and Goodnight. I could do with a warm body to snuggle right about now." Vasquez turned from the fire to arch an eyebrow at him.

"Was that an offer, guero?" he asked.

"Might've been. You do look mighty warm and I am frozen half to death." [1106]

[This one's kinda goofy, but it made me laugh so I'm keeping it.]
fic  m:magnificentseven  c:mag7:faraday  c:mag7:vasquez  c:mag7:goodnight  c:mag7:billy  trope:huddlingforwarmth  theme:frenemies  theme:friendstolovers  theme:snark  theme:shenanigans  p:mag7:faraday/vasquez  p:mag7:billy/goodnight  ge:slash  r:r  @ao3 
october 2016 by scorpionvoices
Mental Scarring - blackkat - Naruto [Archive of Our Own]
For an anon prompt on my Tumblr that I kind of hijacked: gai/obito tho, kakashi's utterly terrified of the two ever coming together. "I've met Gai, Kakashi, and guess what? I'm going /to befriend him/." "You wouldn't DARE, Obito." "Oh, I would. We're going to be best friends." Obito and Gai hit it off instantly, and it all goes downhill from there. Kakashi finds them making out once and it's so horrible. He's never going to get that image out of his mind. [649]
ficlet  an:naruto  au:justalittledifferent  c:naru:kakashi  c:naru:gai  c:naru:obito  c:naru:sakumo  c:naru:dai  theme:family  theme:friendship  theme:shenanigans  unusualpairing  LOLZ  p:naru:gai/obito  p:naru:dai/sakumo  ge:slash  r:r  a:blackkat  @ao3 
september 2016 by scorpionvoices
unpretty: unpretty: unpretty: tim drake’s... - cimness
tim drake’s snapchat is 90% him making bruce wayne do normal middle-class american things and filming the results. popular youtube compilations include the one where they’re at denny’s at two in the morning and tim keeps trying to get bruce to order a moon over my hammy just so he’ll have to say it, the one where they’re at disneyworld and bruce gets increasingly frazzled culminating in him actually physically picking up gaston for reasons no one can entirely recall, and everyone’s favorite series “bruce wayne doesn’t understand walmart”
fic-thing  u:DC  co:batman  c:batman:tim  c:batman:bruce  theme:shenanigans  theme:snark  theme:totherescue!  theme:boysaredorks  LOLZ  ge:gen  r:pg-13  @tumblr 
september 2016 by scorpionvoices
Reverently, Discreetly, Advisedly, Soberly - Thorne - Final Fantasy VII [Archive of Our Own]
"We have to get married or the world will end," Zack said, walking into the office and ducking the stapler that Sephiroth had thrown at him without even looking up from the paperwork he was doing.

"I'm not entirely sure where to begin addressing that request, but let's start with no," Sephiroth said in a monotone that was, if possible, even flatter than his usual.

Zack frowned. He'd really hoped to sell it with a strong opening statement. On to plan B. [2308]
fic  g:FFVII  pre-series  c:ff7:zack  c:ff7:sephiroth  c:ff7:cloud  c:ff7:reno  theme:shenanigans  theme:snark  trope:pretendSO  LOLZ  p:ff7:sephiroth/zack  p:ff7:cloud/sephiroth/zack  ge:crack  ge:slash  r:pg-13  @ao3 
september 2016 by scorpionvoices
Just Another Tuesday Afternoon - Thorne - Final Fantasy VII [Archive of Our Own]
"I hope you've learned a lesson from this," Sephiroth said later, gingerly picking off melted marshmallow goo from the back of his glove.

"Not in the least," Zack said cheerfully, through a mouthful of marshmallow. There were the remains of three more melted ones stuck in his hair, as collateral damage from when he'd called Sephiroth a carnal cake cockblocker. [1459]
fic  g:FFVII  pre-series  c:ff7:zack  c:ff7:sephiroth  c:ff7:cloud  c:ff7:reno  theme:snark  theme:shenanigans  OT3  p:ff7:cloud/sephiroth/zack  ge:crack  ge:slash  r:pg-13  @ao3  hilarity 
september 2016 by scorpionvoices
as green as a fresh pickled toad - Chapter 20 - LullabyKnell - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling [Archive of Our Own]
Ch. 20 -- A Different Sort Of Sorting -- And then the Sorting Hat sends an Avery off to Gryffindor and an Abbott off to Ravenclaw, despite the families’ respective long and prestigious histories in Slytherin and Hufflepuff. What the actual fuck is happening, no one says aloud, as a Bulstrode goes off to Hufflepuff and a Longbottom cousin goes into Slytherin. [22,735]
fic  b:harrypotter  au:justalittledifferent  c:hp:bill  c:hp:charlie:  c:hp:percy  c:hp:fred  c:hp:george  c:hp:ron  c:hp:ginny  c:hp:ensemble  theme:friendship  theme:shenanigans  theme:snark  theme:family  theme:fix-it  p:hp:draco/harry  ge:slash  r:pg-13  @ao3 
august 2016 by scorpionvoices
Trials - esama - Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015) [Archive of Our Own]
Eggsy shifts the aim from JB to Arthur, and shoots him in the face. [2463]
Arthur looks fucking disgusted at that. "You have failed the knight trials," he says, scoffing.

"Big fucking surprise," Eggsy snarls and moves to get up. "I'll be –"

"Sit down," Arthur snaps at him and Eggsy sits. The old man takes a steadying breath. "You've failed the knight trials," he repeats and hands over the tablet. "And entered the king trials."
fic  m:kingsman  c:kingsman:eggsy  c:kingsman:arthur  c:kingsman:harry  theme:snark  theme:shenanigans  ge:gen  r:pg-13  @ao3  a:esama 
august 2016 by scorpionvoices
Quiet Like a Fight - MzMinola - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling [Archive of Our Own]
Harry Potter and the Dormitory Under the Stairs -- In which Harry Potter sleeps the whole way to Hogwarts, gets Sorthed into Slytherin, and spends his first year making friends, forging alliances, and breaking Snape's will to live. [33,796]
“How do you feel about Slytherin?”

-What?- Harry thought, startled. His stomach abruptly unknotted and he sat up straighter. -Um, fine? Anything’s fine, really. Um. Thank you?-

“Excellent,” the Hat said. It sounded…smug? Before Harry could think about that further, it roared out the name SLYTHERIN! so loud that Harry jumped.

The hall went sharply silent.

As Harry handed the Sorting Hat back to Professor McGonagall, he saw that most of the teachers at the high table behind her were rather stunned. One in particular, with long black hair that was so greasy Aunt Petunia would have fainted, looked as though he had been hit on the back of the head with a board. Only Professor Dumbledore seemed unsurprised, though thoughtful.
fic  b:harrypotter  au:justalittledifferent  c:hp:harry  c:hp:hermione  c:hp:pucey  c:hp:ensemble  worldbuilding  theme:angst  theme:friendship  theme:frenemies  theme:shenanigans  ge:gen  r:pg-13  @ao3 
august 2016 by scorpionvoices
Rivers Know This - blackkat - Naruto [Archive of Our Own]
Tobirama has long since resigned himself to the fact that all Uchiha are at least mildly insane, but this is a new low. And to think, he’d considered Kagami to be one of the level-headed ones. [6205]
fic  an:naruto  c:naru:tobirama  c:naru:kagami  c:naru:hashirama  c:naru:madara  theme:friendship  theme:snark  theme:shenanigans  trope:marriageofconvenience  theme:firstkiss  p:naru:kagami/tobirama  ge:slash  ge:fluff  r:pg-13  a:blackkat 
august 2016 by scorpionvoices
tiptoe 'round our dreams - thistidalwave - Check Please! (Webcomic) [Archive of Our Own]
“No,” Chowder says, shaking his head. “I didn’t do it, you guys did when you decided you’d try. Sorry, but I just sat here and ate cupcakes. Mostly. Sorry.”


Chowder comes back to Samwell after winter break with a resolution: Dex and Nursey are going to stop fighting and start getting along this year if it's the last thing Chowder does. [12,000]
fic  co:omgcheckplease  c:omgcp:chowder  c:omgcp:dex  c:omgcp:nursey  c:omgcp:ensemble  theme:friendship  theme:frenemies  theme:angst  theme:snark  theme:shenanigans  theme:emotionalconstipation  theme:racism  theme:homophobia  theme:classism  theme:firstkiss  OT3  p:omgcp:chowder/dex/nursey  ge:slash  r:pg-13  @ao3 
april 2016 by scorpionvoices
not funny - applecrumbledore - Check Please! (Webcomic) [Archive of Our Own]
No one asks or notices a change because they've always been all up in each other's space. The word they use is ‘open.’ At first it's always threesomes, always someone else there no matter what else they do with each other, usually rare and spontaneous decisions made at the tail end of a party if they find the right person, always spurred on by alcohol, and a lot of it. They see people independently of each other, too, if it comes up, because not everyone's idea of a 'chill Saturday' is a surprisingly well-orchestrated threesome with two giant hockey players, for some reason.

But, starting in their junior year, on the nights where they don't make any connections and nothing materializes, nothing clicks, it's just the two of them, because they always click. [9752]
fic  c:omgcheckplease  c:omgcp:ransom  c:omgcp:holster  theme:friendship  theme:dating  theme:first-time  theme:comingout  theme:family  theme:angst  theme:shenanigans  theme:snark  theme:love  p:omgcp:holster/ransom  ge:slash  ge:drama  r:nc-17  @ao3 
april 2016 by scorpionvoices
Field trip - tucuxi - Naruto [Archive of Our Own]
Iruka, a brand-new assistant teacher, takes his class on a field trip to the Hokage Monument. Things do not go exactly as planned. [1397]

[...What I wouldn't give to have this trick in my babysitting arsenal. My younger brothers totally would deserve it.]
fic  an:naruto  oneshot  pre-series  c:naru:iruka  theme:kids  theme:shenanigans  theme:competency!!!  LOLZ  ge:gen  r:g  @ao3 
march 2016 by scorpionvoices
Thirty-Eight Days and Counting - thecommodore_squid - Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
It didn’t escape him that Steve shared his assumed last name. “Are you gonna be my cousin?” Bucky asked dully.

Steve frowned. “Husband, actually,” he said easily, holding up his left hand to show a typical golden band.

Bucky scowled and closed the door.

AKA
An AU in which Bucky is put in the witness protection program and Steve is the agent hired to protect him/pretend to be his husband. [40,292]

[Honestly, I really loved this. Bucky and Steve are both broken in their own ways, and they don't have a life-long friendship to fall back on. Also, the way they're both so excited about successfully getting through social interactions with the so-called 'normal' people on their block made me just about die laughing.]
fic  u:marvel  m:captainamerica  au:realworld  c:cap:bucky  c:avengers:steve  c:avengers:clint  c:avengers:natasha  c:ironman:tony  c:cap:sam  theme:PTSD  theme:undercover  theme:injury  theme:snark  theme:shenanigans  theme:domesticity  theme:friendship  theme:pining  theme:firstkiss  theme:angst  theme:captivity  theme:totherescue!  theme:fixing  theme:scars  theme:brainwashing  theme:HEA  trope:amnesia  trope:pretendSO  w:torture  p:cap:bucky/steve  ge:slash  ge:drama  r:r  @ao3 
march 2016 by scorpionvoices
Someone Yelled 'Dibs' - a second collection (is totally necessary) - Chapter 28 - shineyma - Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
It would be an understatement to say that Grant is bemused, upon entering yet another room at the house party he’s searching, to be greeted by a quickly shouted “Dibs!” and a chorus of groans.

“Uh, hi?” he asks, doing a quick scan of the room.
fic  u:marvel  tv:agentsofSHIELD  au:realworld  c:shield:ward  c:shield:jemma  c:shield:skye  theme:snark  theme:inebriation  theme:shenanigans  LOLZ  o:cute  p:shield:jemma/ward  ge:het  r:pg-13  @ao3 
march 2016 by scorpionvoices
For A Good Time - a second collection (is totally necessary) - Chapter 18 - shineyma - Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
“So, what is this about?” she asks, as Skye shoves the door open. Surprisingly, there’s no line and, it appears, no one in the bathroom at all. Maybe that’s what this is about; something is clearly amiss if one doesn’t have to wait thirty minutes for a turn in the loo.

“You have to see this,” Skye says, voice high with laughter. “Look, look.”

She drags Jemma to one of the stalls (a tight fit, with both of them) and points to a particular piece of graffiti above the trash can.
fic  u:marvel  tv:agentsofSHIELD  c:shield:jemma  c:shield:skye  c:shield:ward  theme:shenanigans  theme:friendship  theme:snark  LOLZ  ge:gen  r:pg-13  @ao3 
march 2016 by scorpionvoices
Wilton's Bakery - machine_dove, Sproings - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]
After an accident leaves him injured and unable to perform, Clint Barton's life seems bleak. Things start to change after he meets the strangest man by accident (and he was in the circus, Clint knows strange). Sometimes life's a trial, and sometimes you just have to hold on and hope you survive the ride. [9622] [Cliche, but hella entertaining.]
“GODDAMIT WADE, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!” Clint was waving around the paper-wrapped...thing he found in the walk-in. It was...squishy. And the smell was indescribable, which was really saying something considering he had spent most of his life living in close quarters with animals and people who thought personal hygiene was a suggestion and not a requirement.

“My haggis!” He sounded delighted.

“Why the fuck do we have haggis in a bakery?”

“Haggis doesn’t need a reason, Clint. Haggis just is.”

It said a lot about what his life had become, Clint thought, that this somehow made perfect sense.
fic  u:marvel  m:Avengers12  co:deadpool  au:realworld  au:bakery/coffeeshop  c:avengers:clint  c:deadpool:wade  theme:permanentinjury  theme:depression  theme:h/c  theme:friendship  theme:fixing  theme:scars  theme:love  theme:shenanigans  theme:clueless  theme:boysaredorks  theme:friendstolovers  theme:firstkiss  o:adorable  unusualpairing  p:xvr:clint/wade  ge:slash  ge:fluff  r:pg-13  @ao3 
march 2016 by scorpionvoices
get drunk on the good life - magneticwave - Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]
Finn wakes up in the infirmary with a headache like he’s been head-butted by a blaster--which: basically--and is instantly swallowed by an actual swarm of medics and nurses, who range in height from a tiny Mrlssi to someone with face-tentacles who could give Chewbacca a run for his money. [6175]
[In which Finn is on the mend, Poe was once a stupid 16-year old, Jess won't let Poe forget he used to be a stupid 16-year old, and Snap gets married.]
“By the power vested in me by you bunch of numbskulls, I now declare you married,” General Organa says. “Kiss him already, why don’t you.”
fic  u:starwars  m:swTFA  c:sw:finn  c:sw:poe  c:sw:jess  c:sw:snap  c:sw:oc  c:sw:leia  theme:aftermath  theme:friendship  theme:snark  theme:shenanigans  theme:firstkiss  p:sw:finn/poe  ge:slash  r:pg-13  a:magneticwave  @ao3 
january 2016 by scorpionvoices
You Got a Kiss For Me - bubbysbub - The Hobbit - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]
The obligatory "Bilbo returns home thinking Thorin is dead, only for his true love to come for him". Except with two true loves. And a head injury.

Not like I can write a trope to plan, though, is it? [3905]
fic  u:lotr  m:thehobbit  c:lotr:bilbo  c:lotr:ensemble  theme:fix-it  theme:grief  theme:runningaway  theme:totherescue!  theme:snark  theme:shenanigans  p:lotr:dwalin/thorin  p:lotr:bilbo/dwalin/thorin  ge:slash  r:pg-13  @ao3 
january 2016 by scorpionvoices
The Immortal Hawkeye - copperbadge - Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]
Clint's a little older than he looks, and his DNA has a few surprises in store, too. [8378]
"Nobody on this Earth thinks you're pushing thirty, let alone forty," Bruce said. Sam gave him a starving-puppy look, and he rolled his eyes and dished out two bowls, spooning brown sugar into one. Sam took the other one and dumped half a jar of jam into it. "You don't think it's....unnatural?"

"Not really," Clint said. "I mean, it could have been something I ate."

Bucky looked thoughtful. "That actually might explain it."

"How does 'something I ate' explain this?" Tony asked, looking increasingly upset.

"He eats...everything," Natasha said.
fic  u:marvel  m:Avengers12  c:avengers:clint  c:cap:bucky  c:avengers:steve  c:ironman:tony  c:avengers:ensemble  theme:friendship  theme:superpowers  theme:snark  theme:shenanigans  theme:emotionalconstipation  theme:clueless  theme:pining  theme:dorksinlove  theme:firstkiss  theme:establishedrelationship  theme:family  LOLZ  p:marvel:vucky/clint  p:marvel:steve/tony  ge:crackish  ge:slash  r:pg-13  a:sam_storyteller  @ao3 
january 2016 by scorpionvoices
It Suits You - atthebarricade - Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]
Finn's missing a last name. Poe hopes to give Finn that, too.

Or: Finn and Poe get married. [2214]
“Oh,” Poe says later when they’re lying exhausted in bed, their hands intertwined so that Poe’s ring is digging into Finn’s knuckle. “Did I tell you that Han Solo gave me marriage advice?”

Finn sits up a little and looks at Poe in surprise. “What? When? You’re still alive?” he asks incredulously.
fic  u:starwars  m:swTFA  c:sw:finn  c:sw:poe  c:sw:rey  c:sw:han  c:sw:ensemble  theme:marriage  theme:establishedrelationship  theme:dorksinlove  theme:snark  theme:shenanigans  p:sw:finn/poe  ge:slash  r:pg-13  @ao3 
january 2016 by scorpionvoices
Have Your Cake (And Be Eaten By It Too) - kseda - Tin Man (2007) [Archive of Our Own]
Glitch bakes a cake for Cain's birthday. The cake takes on a life of its own. Things go terrifyingly wrong. [2749]
"Why is it always me? Yeah, sure, maybe a couple of things have been my fault, I'm sorry, but I had nothing to do with this." Her sister had joined them and took DG's hand in her own.

"DG right," Raw pointed out. "Not worry about blame now, focus on cake."

"Can do!" Jeb shouted from behind them, then ran forward brandishing the long-handled slotted spoon he'd stolen form the fruit salad on the other table. With an impressive swing he smashed the business end of the spoon into the side of the cake, causing frosting to ooze through the slots.

Nothing happened aside for the cake quivering, then its layers parted and it spat a good amount of chocolate filling onto Jeb's shoes.

The former Resistance captain snorted. "That all you got?"
fic  tv:tinman  c:tinman:glitch  c:tinman:cain  c:tinman:dg  c:tinman:raw  c:tinman:jeb  c:tinman:ensemble  theme:establishedrelationship  theme:romance  theme:friendship  theme:snark  theme:shenanigans  theme:selfrescue  theme:dorksinlove  p:tinman:cain/glitch  ge:crack  ge:slash  r:pg-13  a:kseda  @ao3 
january 2016 by scorpionvoices
Cover Boy - StanleyQuinn - Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015) [Archive of Our Own]
Poe doesn't find it funny. Unfortunately, everyone else finds it hilarious. [2331]

[The one where someone finally remembered that Luke used to be sassy!!]
Poe clicks the holo-pad on, grimacing as an artist's (very creative) rendition of his face fills the screen. For crying out loud, he isn't that pretty and his hair definitely does not stick out all over the place like that, he thinks before the whole image registers with him. His face appears under a bold, menacing headline that reads, "Don't Let The Resistance Seduce You Away!"

He feels his jaw drop but can't seem to bring himself to care about the giggles that produces from his pilots as he scrolls down, seeing that the artist's rendition actually shows him in a flight jumpsuit that's open with a hint of bare chest peeking out from underneath. A smaller but equally striking font at his hip reads, "The Shocking Truth Behind FN-2187's Defection."
fic  u:starwars  m:swTFA  c:sw:poe  c:sw:finn  c:sw:rey  c:sw:luke  c:sw:jess  c:sw:snap  theme:friendship  theme:shenanigans  theme:snark  LOLZ  theme:clueless  theme:firstkiss  p:sw:finn/poe  ge:slash  r:pg-13  @ao3 
january 2016 by scorpionvoices
Tomorrow (there'll be more of us) - dimircharmer - Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015) [Archive of Our Own]
“FN-2187 was real, right?” She sounds very young again. “Please tell me he was real."

"I'm real,” said Finn, who was on his first patrol since his back healed. “And my name’s Finn now.”

Her eyes widened. “You have a name?
*

Or: The resistance is starting to get stormtrooper defectors. Finn helps them out. [2802]
fic  u:starwars  m:swTFA  c:sw:finn  c:sw:leia  theme:legends  theme:snark  LOLZ  theme:shenanigans  theme:boysaredorks  theme:womenareawesome  ge:gen  r:pg-13  @ao3 
january 2016 by scorpionvoices
Interlude (Rise Up) - Fahye - Hamilton - Miranda [Archive of Our Own]
BURR
I'll be brief: call the jury in, you'll see your doubt's injurious.
What, you're telling me you aren't a little curious
to see what we could do, together, if we're able?

HAMILTON
Our partnership is not the issue on the table.

BURR
The table, the bed… No need to look so furious!
I'm confident, sir, if you'll let me resume,
I can prove beyond doubt that I'm the one in the room,
all others merely in the foyer.
Come on, you admitted it: who's the better lawyer?

HAMILTON
Alright, I'm game. I'll mount my defence.
You're all facts, no eloquence--sir, it makes a difference!
You're better at exactness, but I'm better at emotion,
at riling up the courtroom and causing a commotion.
I'll argue this case 'til I'm blue in the face.
Burr, believe me, I'm not saying this to spite you,
it's as simple as this: I don't like you like you

BURR
Well, excuse me. We're in your fantasy, friend,
and fancy that, you choose me! Who's here, at the end?
Your defence ain't the only thing you're thinking of mounting.

[I'm not even in this fandom and had to use google image search liberally throughout, but I'm still dying laughing over this thing. It's so funny, and it's so fun to read aloud!!]
fic  t:hamilton  c:ham:hamilton  c:ham:burr  c:ham:ensemble  theme:snark  theme:love  theme:shenanigans  LOLZ  ge:multi  r:r  @ao3  challenge:yuletide2015 
january 2016 by scorpionvoices
Spellist - esama - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Avengers (Marvel Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
Coulson had tea with the Spellist once every week as work permitted it. It was, right from the beginning, an almost disturbingly casual arrangement.

Harry Potter rolled with the punches with almost offensive ease and just kept on going at a sedate, easy going pace. It was in parts gratifying and extremely frustrating. If the man had had even a bit of ambition he could've made a stellar addition to S.H.I.E.L.D. As it was, his ambition didn't go much past his next cup of tea.

"There's a lot of good things you could do with your abilities," Coulson had to say.

"The Greater Good isn't really my thing," Potter shrugged.

Well… at least he wasn't trying to take over the world. It was nice to have a sorcerer on their side for once – even if his contribution didn't go beyond magical equipment service. [2483]
fic  b:harrypotter  crossover  u:marvel  m:Avengers12  c:hp:harry  c:marvel:coulson  c:avengers:ensemble  c:marvel:fury  theme:snark  theme:shenanigans  theme:injury  theme:totherescue!  theme:clueless  theme:dating  theme:HEA  LOLZ  p:xvr:coulson/harry  ge:slash  ge:crack  r:pg  a:esama  @ao3 
december 2015 by scorpionvoices
criminals do it better - blackkat - Naruto [Archive of Our Own]
Obito snatches up the abandoned bottle, jogs three steps, and hurls it with all the force he can manage at the back of the white-haired litterer’s head, snarling, “Hey, asshole! It’s called recycling!” [23,772 words in the series so far] Why did it take me so long to read this?! I *adore* it.]
“Oh my god, why do you let me talk?” Kakashi groans, face-down on Asuma’s coffee table. There's a drink in his hand, but it isn’t nearly big enough to make him forget the humiliating mortification of three hours ago. “Oh my god, why do you let me out in public?”

“Ten years since high school and I'm still trying to work that out,” Genma says amusedly from where he’s lounging on the couch, because he’s unrepentantly a bastard and definitely not one of Kakashi's friends in any way, shape, or form. “So, were they hot?”

Kakashi thinks of sharp-edged black eyes full of life, shaggy black hair against pale skin, a leanly muscular body, an angular face filled with righteous indignation and then familial fondness in turns, and glumly agrees, “The hottest.”

“And they hate you now?” Genma wants to know. (He’s merciless, and Kakashi can't remember why he even vaguely likes him.)

Kakashi moans his agreement, not having the strength to so much as lift his head. Damn it, the guy was amazing. Gorgeous, passionate, funny, clever…and Kakashi, of course, had to open his big fat mouth and shove his foot all the way in. Fuck.

“What are we talking about?” Asuma takes a seat in the recliner, dropping a platter of chips and dip on the table to the left of Kakashi's ear.

Genma, of course, grins. “Kakashi's complete inability to interact with the rest of the population,” he says without an ounce of remorse, passing Asuma the bottle of scotch.
fic  series  an:naruto  au:realworld  c:naru:obito  c:naru:sasuke  c:naru:kakashi  c:naru:ensemble  LOLZ  theme:shenanigans  theme:snark  theme:dating  theme:friendship  trope:everyoneisgay  theme:scars  theme:boysaredorks  theme:injury  theme:competency!!!  theme:love  p:naru:kakashi/obito  p:naru:naruto/sasuke  p:naru:madara/tobirama  ge:slash  r:r  a:blackkat  @ao3 
december 2015 by scorpionvoices
Kind, Sober, and Fully Dressed - Traincat - Spider-Man (Comicverse), Fantastic Four (Comicverse) [Archive of Our Own]
"Pete, my man, my completely platonic best bro," he muttered to himself in the voice he reserved solely for mocking Johnny Storm. "Come over and watch my maybe sex tape! Fun times! Just two guys hanging out -" he slammed the bathroom door maybe a little harder than necessary "- watching the one guy's celebrity sex tape! Good clean fun!"

Mrs. Moretti downstairs banged on her ceiling with a broom.

Everything was coming up Parker tonight.

--

Or, in which Peter proves himself tragically unable to take a hint. Post-Amazing Spider-Man Digital #17, aka the time Johnny asked Peter to watch his sex tape.
fic  co:spiderman  episoderelated  c:spiderman:peter  c:f4:johnny  theme:friendship  theme:shenanigans  theme:snark  theme:clueless  theme:pining  theme:boysaredorks  theme:firstkiss  theme:first-time  theme:RST  theme:cuddling  theme:friendstolovers  p:marvel:johnny/peter  ge:slash  r:pg-13  a:traincat  @ao3 
november 2015 by scorpionvoices
Life of the Party - sterlingsuspenders - The 100 (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
Murphy has always been one of those drunks who's an absolute blast, until he isn't. [3733]
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like this,” Clarke says, stepping up beside Miller, who casts a glance over his shoulder at her.

“Like what?”

“So—normal. Happy, even. Should I be worried?” She means it as a joke, but Miller’s silence has her doubling back in concern. “What? Should I?”

Miller shrugs. “I don’t know. Probably not. I mean god knows he deserves a drink as much as the rest of us. Bad feeling, I guess.”

Both of them are watching from a distance as Murphy climbs shamelessly into Finn’s lap and drapes his arms around Finn’s neck. For someone who’s usually all tight frowns and shitty remarks, he looks warm and relaxed, tonight. He says something to Finn that neither of them can hear, and the immediate group around them starts chanting “kiss, kiss, kiss” until Murphy’s hands are tangled in Finn’s hair and they’re going at it like they’re trying to eat each other alive. Miller snorts out a laugh.

“Either way, I’m not cleaning up when he winds up puking all over himself.” He casts a grin at Clarke and she laughs.


[Contains many drunken makeouts, but no actual relationships.]
fic  tv:the100  episoderelated  c:100:murphy  c:100:miller  c:100:clarke  c:100:finn  theme:inebriation  theme:snark  theme:angst  theme:shenanigans  theme:grief  theme:friendship  p:100:finn/murphy  p:100:bellamy/murphy  ge:slash  r:pg-13  @ao3 
november 2015 by scorpionvoices
Where there's cake, there's hope. And there's always cake. - Miralana - The 100 (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
When Murphy sees his ex(es) in a bakery he does the most logical thing he can think of: He jumps behind the counter and hopes that they don’t notice him while ordering a cake for their wedding.

The hot bakery guy is confused and amused enough to help him. [2322]
fic  tv:100  au:bakery/coffeeshop  c:100:murphy  c:100:bellamy  theme:shenanigans  theme:snark  theme:dating  theme:previousrelationship  humor  p:100:bellamy/murphy  ge:slash  r:pg-13  @ao3 
november 2015 by scorpionvoices
daredevilkink | Prompt Post #1 -- Go The Fuck To Sleep, by Anon
The taxis are down for the night, Matt.
The street cleaners no longer sweep.
If you get out of bed I will beat you myself.
For real: shut the fuck up and sleep.

Court docs will be processed tomorrow,
And that crook, his karma he'll reap.
That won't mean shit if you're passing out, though.
I've got two words for you, Matt: fucking sleep.
fic-thing  poetry  tv:daredevil  c:dd:foggy  c:dd:matt  theme:friendship  theme:insomnia  theme:shenanigans  ge:gen  r:pg-13  @dw 
november 2015 by scorpionvoices
the devil finds work for - Fahye - The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015) [Archive of Our Own]
Here's the thing about Napoleon Solo: he only values something if he's stolen it. If he broke in with his own two hands.
"Can you please tell our director why you are in law enforcement?"

Illya's brows lower. His fingers tremble near his leg. "To show I am worth more than my father."

"To avoid prison," calls Solo.

Gaby nods in thanks and returns the receiver to her ear. "War criminals took my father from me."

"Right. So," Waverly says. "My elite intelligence unit is in fact comprised of daddy issues, more daddy issues, and a sociopathic underwear model."

Gaby raises her eyebrows and lets the silence agree for her.

"Well," says Waverly, sounding bizarrely heartened. "I've worked with worse."
fic  m:manfromuncle  c:muncle:gaby  c:muncle:illya  c:muncle:napoleon  theme:team!  theme:snark  theme:seduction  theme:shenanigans  theme:boysaredorks  theme:competency!!!  theme:first-time  k:restraints  p:muncle:gaby/illya/napoleon  ge:multi  ge:action  ge:smut  r:nc-17  @ao3 
november 2015 by scorpionvoices
Best Laid Plans - Saathi1013 - The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015) [Archive of Our Own]
Tired of Illya and Gaby's interminable flirtation, Napoleon decides to intervene so the two of them can get on with it already.

He may inadvertently make some tactical errors along the way. [3387]
fic  m:manfromUNCLE  c:muncle:napoleon  c:muncle:gaby  c:muncle:illya  theme:team!  theme:friendship  trope:matchmaking  theme:shenanigans  theme:seduction  theme:first-time  p:muncle:gaby/illya/napoleon  ge:multi  r:r  @ao3 
november 2015 by scorpionvoices
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