scorpionvoices + sga   325

setissma: Wide Open Ocean
He went home with two slices of leftover pizza and the strange impression that McKay could almost have been a nice guy, if he hadn’t been an asshole. [10,911] [the one where they work at the Shedd Aquarium]
fic  sga  au:realworld  sga:john  sga:rodney  theme:grief  theme:growingup  theme:angst  theme:injury  theme:friendship  theme:h/c  theme:first-time  theme:romance  john/rodney  slash  nc-17  author:setissma  @lj  fandomclassic  favs:sg1/sga 
october 2011 by scorpionvoices
julad: Thicker Than Water
They had to change planes in Salt Lake City, and while they waited in the terminal, Rodney dropped back to his normal speed. It happened right in the middle of his third Big Mac. He'd been getting out several paragraphs a second between monster-sized bites, but then he stopped. He put down the burger, tilted his head to the side, and said, "Huh. We're back on Earth."

"Yeah," John said. "I'd noticed that too."

"And we're going to Canada," Rodney added, sounding faintly surprised.

"I was planning to sit in an empty room under a mountain in Colorado," John told him, "but you asked so nicely."

"And I'm going to introduce you to my family."

"You are?" John said. He'd assumed Rodney was going to try to prove that ice hockey was the only True Sport, and that round bacon was the only True Bacon, and other absurdities. [17,607]
fic  sga  sga:john  sga:rodney  theme:vacation  theme:family  theme:angst  theme:establishedrelationship  theme:love  john/rodney  slash  nc-17  author:julad  @privatearchive  opinion:sweet 
october 2011 by scorpionvoices
beadattitude: The Slow Braille of Touch
Rodney had tucked one hand beneath his cheek and his forearm was bare and gleaming in the moonlight, his free hand stroking his arm with an almost dreamy rhythm. For a second, John almost asked about rashes and itching, but one more look at his teammate’s face and the growing, true relaxation there, and he kept silent, watching the slow sweep of Rodney’s fingers.

Between one pass and the next, John fell asleep. [7603]
fic  sga  oneshot  sga:john  sga:rodney  theme:friendship  theme:clueless  theme:injury  theme:angst  theme:h/c  theme:first-time  john/rodney  slash  nc-17  @lj  opinion:sweet 
october 2011 by scorpionvoices
julad: The Secret Life of Scientists
Despite Kate's occasional prompting, Rodney didn't like to think about whether he was happy on Atlantis. He hadn't thought about his own happiness in years, if not decades. It wasn't relevant, and he had too much else to think about without adding his emotional state to the list. Still, after a week of hanging out with Zelenka, he felt a little lighter, a little freer. It was good to talk about Russians, and hockey, and stupid military decisions throughout history, and naquada generators, and Ancient database algorithms. It was fun to pick fantasy scientist leagues, and argue about whether the Wraith were scarier than the Borg.

"I think I have a best friend," he blurted to Kate, in the middle of studying schematics of the city water purification system on the floor of her office.

She looked up from her computer and smiled at him. "Good, I'm glad," she said, and something in her voice made him want to blush. He went back to his tools, and she went back to her... whatever she did while he worked. [9113]
fic  sga  missingscene  sga:rodney  sga:radek  worldbuilding  theme:friendship  theme:clueless  theme:grief  theme:angst  theme:fixing  theme:snark  humor  shenanigans  radek/rodney  slash  r  author:julad  @privatearchive  favs:sg1/sga 
october 2011 by scorpionvoices
toomuchplor: Tactus
“All right, everyone,” Rodney declaims, and silence descends as the singers crane to hear his words of wisdom. “Try not to fuck up.”

He’s always been great with the pre-concert pep talks. [4182]
fic  sga  au:university  sga:rodney  sga:john  humor  theme:sliceoflife  theme:friendship  john/rodney  slash  author:toomuchplor  @lj  rating:pg-13  opinion:sweet 
october 2011 by scorpionvoices
amific: Superman Never Dealt With This Shit
During an almost nonexistent silent moment between songs John noted the shower sounds had been replaced by dulcet tones of Rodney's muffled voice going up and down the register of disbelief and anger.

Possibly with a dash of horror.

"Radiation doesn't work that way!"

Disbelief too.

"Did you really go to med school?"

Sarcasm. Rodney was going through the seven stages of 'Weird Shit Happens, Get Used to It' very quickly. The most impressive thing was how the words were bleeding through the iPod. John turned the volume up and tried to find something to do. [7069] [the one with the spontaneous orgasms]
fic  sga  crack  sga:john  sga:rodney  sga:teyla  sga:carson  theme:superpowers  hilarity  shenanigans  john/rodney  slash  r  @lj 
october 2011 by scorpionvoices
mrshamill: Speaker for the Dead
John never got around to naming P3X-203, something others might find amusing or even ironic. [10,802] [Crap, this one always makes me cry like a baby. It's so freaking good, but it's definitely an I-need-a-good-cry-ASAP sort of fic. The sequel is just as good, just as sad, and linked at the bottom of the page.]
fic  sga  sga:john  sga:elizabeth  sga:radek  sga:ronon  theme:futurefic  theme:grief  theme:aftermath  theme:angst  theme:illness  warning:characterdeath-past  warning:characterdeath-offscreen  john/rodney  slash  het  @privatearchive  favs:sg1/sga  fandomclassic  rating:pg-13  reaction:;_; 
october 2011 by scorpionvoices
mz_bstone: Small Stories
The sum of his parts. [2500] [God, I always forget how beautiful this one is until I reread it on a Ronon-binge. It is honestly one of my favorite pieces of character work in any of the many fandoms I've read in.]
fic  sga  oneshot  sga:ronon  characterstudy  worldbuilding  theme:family  theme:grief  theme:aftermath  gen  pg  author:mz_bstone  @lj  favs:sg1/sga  opinion:awesome  opinion:sweet 
october 2011 by scorpionvoices
sheafrotherdon: You knew it had to happen!
No one was entirely clear how it had happened, or exactly who was going to take care of the two, playful pups Ronon and Teyla had brought back through the gate in lieu of Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay. [462]
ficlet  sga  sga:teyla  sga:ronon  sga:elizabeth  sga:john  sga:rodney  trope:animorph  humor  shenanigans  boysaredorks  cute  gen  g  author:sheafrotherdon  @lj 
october 2011 by scorpionvoices
trinityofone: Four Quarters
Teyla is the beautiful one, Ronon is the enigmatic one, and Rodney, of course, is the genius one. But John, John is the star. [~8150]
fic  sga  au:realworld  sga:rodney  sga:john  ensemble  theme:friendship  theme:sliceoflife  theme:angst  humor  john/rodney  slash  r  @lj  fandomclassic  author:trinityofone 
october 2011 by scorpionvoices
taffetablue: A Supermarket in California
John ends up refurbishing a supermarket two blocks from campus, and finds that this might be home. [7857]
fic  sga  au:alternatereality  sga:john  sga:rodney  theme:friendship  theme:courtship  theme:clueless  theme:romance  humor  theme:snark  john/rodney  slash  r  fandomclassic  @lj 
october 2011 by scorpionvoices
scherryzade: Learning to Walk
Evan had never actually learned to draw. He had just known, learning to walk with a crayon clutched in his hand.
fic  sga  tobetagged  opinion:awesome 
september 2011 by scorpionvoices
Summer House
"Why not? I checked: It's not against the neighborhood guidelines," came the answering whine. "Come on, you wouldn't let me have one back on Atlantis--"

"Right, because you desperately needed a helipad on a city surrounded by water!"

"--and you promised we could get one if I agreed to move to Freakville with you," the voice finished resolutely. "It's either that or you let me pick up waterskiing."

Nobody answered when Jack knocked on the enormous double-doors, so he walked around the side of the house along the wrap-around porch until he saw two men standing on the back steps, looking disheveled and out of breath, surrounded by boxes marked things like, DANGEROUS and REALLY REALLY DANGEROUS and LEGOS.
fic  eureka  crossover  sga  eureka:carter  ensemble  sga:john  sga:rodney  theme:establishedrelationship  shenanigans  hilarity  boysaredorks  theme:friendship  theme:snark  john/rodney  slash  pg  rageprufrock  opinion:awesome 
august 2011 by scorpionvoices
marag: Excerpts from the Stargate Command Style Sheet for Mission Reports
12) Punctuation
We use the serial or Oxford comma. For example: Gen. Hammond called the Pentagon, the White House, and the CIA.

Yes, I really care about this. And it doesn't matter if that makes me a geek, because you still have to get my approval on mission reports.

20) References
References should strictly adhere to Chicago style. Since I don't trust a single one of you to do that correctly, just give me as much information about where you found it as you can and I'll write the damn thing.

However, it is a rare occasion that a mission report will require a reference. (For technical briefs, please see the relevant style sheet.) This means that you had better have a damn good reason for putting one in.

I will no longer edit references to comic books, Heinlein novels, or episodes of Wormhole X-treme! Anyone who includes them from now on will find that their reports have been translated into Urdu.
fic  sg1  sga  hilarity  lolz  shenanigans  list  style:outsidePOV  gen  g  marag  favs:sga/sg1  for-kayla  for-cindy  style:fivethings  opinion:awesome 
june 2011 by scorpionvoices
paintedspires: Artist: _phoon_
What Stargate Atlantis might have looked like if it was on in the 70s. Absolutely brilliant!
art  sga  digital  sga:john  sga:rodney  sga:ronon  sga:teyla  opinion:awesome  art:fanart 
june 2011 by scorpionvoices
semivowel: Or Something Like It
It takes four and half more days for Sheppard’s brain scans to come back completely normal. Rodney may or may not know this before Elizabeth’s announcement by hacking into Carson’s computer records and checking after every one of Sheppard’s appointments. And then it takes another day for Sheppard to make his way to Rodney’s quarters.

When his door chimes at 4:00 am Atlantis Standard Time, Rodney’s more or less convinced himself that he’s wanted John Sheppard forever, and can barely wait to do all the things to him that he’s been fantasizing about for the last four years (6 days). [~7700]
fic  sga  oneshot  sga:rodney  sga:john  theme:friendship  theme:snark  theme:angst  theme:first-time  hilarity  shenanigans  john/rodney  slash  r  favs:sga/sg1  opinion:awesome 
june 2011 by scorpionvoices
mutecornett: Atlantis: the Musical!
Original cast! In the original costumes! Stargate: Atlantis, the Musical!
art  sga  sga:john  sga:rodney  sga:teyla  sga:carson  sga:elizabeth  sga:ford  drawings  lolz  mutecornett  opinion:awesome  art:fanart 
june 2011 by scorpionvoices
Freedom to Choose - lears_daughter - Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, Ender's Game - Orson Scott Card [Archive of Our Own]
The battle is over, the war won—and Ender Wiggin’s life, it seems, is finished. Jack O’Neill presents him with an alternative. AU ending to the last chapter of Ender’s Game. Disregards all subsequent Ender books. [5594]
fic  endersgame  sg1  sga  au:fusion  endersgame:ender  sg1:jack  theme:aftermath  theme:fixing  theme:angst  gen  lears_daughter  @AO3  for-kayla  rating:pg-13 
april 2011 by scorpionvoices
I Obey Your Law of Gravity - Penknife - Stargate Atlantis [Archive of Our Own]
Atlantis is still on Earth and everybody's waiting to figure out what happens next, when word comes down that, as of now, it's no longer against Air Force regulations to admit that you're gay or admit that any relationships like that officially exist. In some ways, it doesn't change a lot, and in one way, it maybe changes everything.

He waits for Radek in Radek's room, looking out the window at the oddly familiar shape of the San Francisco coast in the distance. It's a strange mixture, like his whole life right now, with no distance anymore between Atlantis and home. He doesn't expect that will last, one way or another, but it feels strangely right.

Radek turns up finally, looking harried. "I thought I would never get away," he says.

"I wanted to ask you something," Evan says. [4076]
fic  sga  post-series  sga:lorne  sga:radek  theme:first-time  theme:h/c  theme:love  theme:DADT  theme:marriage  evan/radek  slash  r  penknife  @AO3  episoderelated  opinion:sweet 
april 2011 by scorpionvoices
kho: john
This is how this fic came to be: Everyone on my f'list kept talking about Dexter, which I eventually figured out was a tv show. I found Dexter and downloaded it, and watched two episodes. I really, really, really freakin' liked it. I then had the thought... wouldn't it be interesting to tell a story where John Sheppard is Dexter?
fic  sga  au:fusion  dexter  tobetagged 
march 2011 by scorpionvoices
smilebackwards: Displacement
John isn't really sure how to feel about the fact that he seems to have been unofficially adopted by SG-1. [tag to The Return; ~3500 words]
fic  sga  sg1  earthside  sga:john  sg1:teal'c  sg1:sam  sg1:jack  sg1:cameron  sg1:daniel  sga:rodney  theme:grief  theme:angst  theme:injury  theme:friendship  gen  smilebackwards  episoderelated  rating:pg-13 
march 2011 by scorpionvoices
lavvyan: Stargazing
There's a figure standing in the middle of the small clearing, face tilted upward to watch the stars. John's eyes, so well-adapted to the dark, can make out every detail: the shabby jeans, the faded t-shirt, the dusty boots; all much like John's own clothes, except John's shirt is long-sleeved, black. But in the dark, there is no colour, not even for him. Still, he can see the smooth, almost featureless face just fine; the thin cables running down the side of a neck that isn't covered with skin, instead revealing glinting metal and artificial muscle.

The android doesn't react as John steps into the clearing, nor to the crinkle of paper as John sets the bags down next to their backpacks. His fingers brush against the grass, and the dry stalks catch on the scales with an unpleasant rasp. John grimaces.

"Rodney," he says, "some help?" The provisions he bought won't move from the bags to their packs all on their own.
fic  sga  au:nothuman  earthside  sga:john  sga:rodney  theme:friendship  theme:angst  theme:injury  theme:firstkiss  theme:love  john/rodney  slash  lavvyan  rating:pg-13 
february 2011 by scorpionvoices
cupidsbow: Thrill Ride
Rodney dropped his arms to his sides and gave John a knowing look. "How do you do that?" he asked. "Do they teach it at officer training school or something?"

"Yes, Rodney," said John. "They teach a whole stream of Advanced Homosexuality during officer training. You should see the practical exam."

"Not that," Rodney said, waving it aside impatiently. "The way you can lower the bar like that. The way you make difficult things seem easy with just a few words." He walked around the table until he was within arm's reach of John. "I've seen you do it in the field too, when the marines are doing training exercises." He took another step forward, put a hand on the back of the sofa for balance, and straddled John's thighs. "It's kind of hot."
fic  sga  oneshot  sga:john  sga:rodney  theme:friendship  theme:first-time  shenanigans  humor  john/rodney  slash  nc-17  opinion:awesome 
february 2011 by scorpionvoices
smilebackwards: Five pieces of advice Teal'c gave Ronon on his first trip to Earth
“So, what is there to do on this planet?” Ronon asks Teal’c somewhat sulkily. He feels entitled to a bit of annoyance since Sheppard has just informed him that he needs some sort of permit to carry his gun in public and that even unarmed combat is heavily regulated.

Teal’c looks surprisingly sympathetic. Ronon thinks the slight upturn of his lips might almost be a smirk, but dismisses the idea.

“Jell-O wrestling,” Teal’c suggests sagely. [~700]
ficlet  sga  sg1  earthside  sga:ronon  sg1:teal'c  theme:friendship  shenanigans  boysaredorks  cute  humor  gen  pg  smilebackwards  style:fivethings 
february 2011 by scorpionvoices
ladycat777: The Other's Each
It took him another thirty seconds to realize it wasn’t just exhaustion—aching, and old, weariness that grew over his skin like a mask; he hadn’t slept well, in his father’s house—but something more. He jerked his eyes up, accusing, even though he couldn’t find the words. His tongue felt numb.

“It’s not drugged, if that’s what you’re about to ask,” Jeannie said casually. “I know better than to do that. But it is something that’ll help you sleep. John.” She didn’t touch him—no one had but Madison, not since Nancy’s final, futile hug—but her fingers twitched with wanting; McKays were surprisingly tactile. “John, he mentioned why you came back to Earth.”

Oh. Well, then. That was nice of Rodney.

“Wasn’t his story to tell.” John’s voice croaked. [8351]
fic  sga  sga:john  sga:jeannie  sga:rodney  earthside  theme:angst  theme:grief  theme:family  theme:love  john/rodney  slash  pg  ladycat777  quality:good  episoderelated 
february 2011 by scorpionvoices
Headbanger's Ball - Hth - Stargate Atlantis [Archive of Our Own]
The scope and variety of Earth music astounds Teyla. Perhaps it is not so strange, on a planet populated by billions. It is stranger, Teyla thinks, that such variety is so well-represented among the small population of Atlantis, but here she has been introduced to more sounds than she could have imagined. [2779]
fic  sga  sga:teyla  worldbuilding  characterstudy  sga:john  sga:ronon  sga:rodney  OT4  gsf  john/rodney/ronon/teyla  theme:friendship  theme:love  theme:first-time  style:philosophical  slash  nc-17  hth  @AO3 
january 2011 by scorpionvoices
Wraithbait :: Stargate: Atlantis Fanfiction
Rodney McKay is a maligned scientist, kicked out of his cushy post at a leading university. When no other school will hire him, he falls back on his high school hobby--inventing simple items to help around the house. The problem is, his abrasive personality makes selling his brilliant inventions hard. Enter John Sheppard, king of late night infomercials. John's sure his good looks and charm can help sell Rodney's products, but first they'll have to sell John to Rodney.
series  sga  unread 
november 2010 by scorpionvoices
penknife: Move In
There's a standard procedure for unpacking supplies, but it assumes you're not going to immediately have to worry about everybody in your new base of operations drowning. By the time things settle down, a bunch of the shipping containers are already open, the big rack of computers the scientists brought with them is plugged into one of the naquadah generators and whirring away in a corner, and there are backpacks and luggage piled up in untidy heaps against the walls of the gate room.

Ford picks up one of the carrying cases and turns it over, looking for some sign that it matches anything on the packing list. "These things were all supposed to have numbers on them."

"I don't think a lot of these people listen very well," Major Sheppard says. [2000]
fic  sga  missingscene  sga:ford  characterstudy  worldbuilding  ensemble  theme:fixing  minorcharacters  gen  short  penknife  opinion:awesome  rating:pg-13  opinion:sweet 
november 2010 by scorpionvoices
ladyflowdi: How We Operate
“Hours?” Oh, God, John couldn’t do this, even if Rodney was making noises no man should make, and Ronon’s hands were under the table, and John was not seeing this, he was not-- [~6000]
fic  sga  tobetagged 
november 2010 by scorpionvoices
penknife: We make a sky where we may be
John Sheppard doesn't believe in second chances, but it's possible that he might get one in Atlantis anyway. [~14,000words of Vegas AU]
fic  sga  au:justalittledifferent  sga:john  sga:radek  unusualpairing  ensemble  theme:friendship  theme:fuckbuddies  theme:clueless  theme:angst  ge:slash  r:r  a:penknife  quality:good 
october 2010 by scorpionvoices
vain_glorious: Where the Ways Divide
They find the Runner on the planet with the deadly sun. He's thin and dirty, and not particularly interested in talking. [written for the role-reversal challenge.]
fic  sga  au:justalittledifferent  sga:ronon  sga:melena  sga:john  theme:role-reversal  theme:runningaway  theme:transformation  theme:grief  theme:family  gen  favs:sga/sg1  opinion:awesome  rating:pg-13 
october 2010 by scorpionvoices
mish_mashi: 12 - girl!John
Hands down THE best John genderswap!manip I have ever seen. SO AWESOME.
art  sga  au:gender  gen  portrait  manips  sga:john  opinion:awesome  art:fanart 
october 2010 by scorpionvoices
sabinelagrande: Takes One To Know One
John stretches out beside him, his hands behind his head. "If you start acting like you know what you're doing, people expect you do to all the work," he replies easily. "I'm far too lazy for that."

Jim thinks maybe he's found his soulmate. [634]
ficlet  sga  crossover  startrekreboot  oneshot  sga:john  startrek:kirk  crossoverpairing  smut  theme:snark  slash  nc-17  sabinelagrande  opinion:awesome 
october 2010 by scorpionvoices
rageprufrock: Still
On PX-3456 Ronon gave Sheppard a clump of dirt.

Sheppard said, "Er."

Rodney said, "What the hell is that?"

Teyla widened her eyes, but didn't say anything otherwise.
fic  sga  oneshot  sga:ronon  sga:john  sga:teyla  sga:rodney  worldbuilding  characterstudy  theme:love  theme:courtship  romance  ronon/sheppard  slash  g  rageprufrock  favs:sga/sg1  opinion:sweet 
october 2010 by scorpionvoices
Location, Location, Location. - Pennyplainknits - Stargate Atlantis [Archive of Our Own]
"Laura?" he ventured.

"Yes…" She sounded suspicious.

"Hi, this is John Sheppard from Lantean Properties. I'm sorry to -"

"Rodney!" she bellowed. "It's your hot realtor!"

John felt his ears burn as he heard Rodney swear before taking the phone.

"John? Ignore her. We looked up the Lantean website and she was drooling over the agents' pictures."

"That mean you don't think I'm hot, Rodney? I'm crushed," John teased.
fic  sga  au:realworld  earthside  sga:john  sga:rodney  tobetagged 
september 2010 by scorpionvoices
friendshipper: Spirit Dance
Elizabeth really, really, really hates mission reports like this one.
fic  art  fanart  sga  crack  sga:john  sga:rodney  sga:ronon  sga:teyla  sga:elizabeth  team!fic  shenanigans  LOLZ  cute  gen  pg  opinion:awesome 
september 2010 by scorpionvoices
krabapple: The John Sheppard Book Club
"Well, I'm just saying, sometimes you can't trust men and their guns, it's like they're an extension of their --"

A sudden thought occurs to John, and he holds up a hand, stalling the rest of Rodney's litany. "Have you been reading Virginia Woolf lately?"

Rodney ducks his head.

"For God's sake, McKay."

"Just a little To the Lighthouse," Rodney protests.

"No. I know Mrs. Dalloway talk when I hear it."

"Shut up, Sheppard."

"Geez. Man up, McKay. Go read some Dostovesky and get back to me."
fic  sga  tobetagged 
september 2010 by scorpionvoices
amireal: Scenes from a Lesser War
Sitting on the small balcony's floor, back pressed hard against the wall, legs bent casually, the laughter finally broke through. It started with a small twist of lips, smile niggling and wiggling its way to the surface, twitching as he tried to suppress it. But it was a lost cause, and soon he was holding his sides through a couple of loud guffaws, trickling off into stupid little giggles that he was ashamed were coming out of his mouth.

It ended with one startling sob that hurt his chest and left him aching. [20,500. The one where DADT is removed and John must deal with the fallout.]
fic  sga  sga:john  sga:rodney  ensemble  humor  theme:DADT  theme:love  theme:comingout  shenanigans  john/rodney  slash  nc-17  long  quality:good  theme:angst 
july 2010 by scorpionvoices
uraneia: Actus Reus
Jack O’Neill, John thought, was going to have a fit. John was pretty sure O’Neill had never caused this much shit at one time in his entire life. He was going to be so jealous. [2,487]
fic  sga  oneshot  sga:john  sga:rodney  sga:cadman  ensemble  drama  theme:DADT  theme:comingout  humor  shenanigans  hilarity  john/rodney  slash  favs:sga/sg1  rating:pg-13 
july 2010 by scorpionvoices
trinityofone: MREs—a look inside the pouch!
Obviously, for the sake of dorky fannish research science, I had to consume said MRE so I could report back on exactly what they contain and whether or not Rodney was right that they're actually pretty yummy. [info]bmouse was kind enough to join me for this experiment, and to provide a second opinion—I am not necessarily to be trusted as, like Rodney, I also like airline food. So join us as we get as close as we can to the SGA field team experience...and take lots of ridiculous photos and generally behave like dorks. Woo!
crack  pics  journal:entry  hilarity  writers.reference  sga  trinityofone  opinion:awesome 
june 2010 by scorpionvoices
SGA thematic list: Atlantis is cut off from Earth or secedes
This is a SGA thematic list (i.e. not recs) for stories in which Atlantis is cut off from Earth or secedes, so that the expedition, either by necessity or by choice, has to fend for itself in the Pegasus galaxy. For a story to be included in the list the Atlantis expedition has to loose contact with Earth permanently, or at least for a significantly longer time than in canon, declare independence from Earth, or be stranded as a colony in Pegasus after Atlantis is lost. I've divided the list in the following subsections:

1. Atlantis is involuntarily cut off from Earth.
2. Atlantis intentionally secedes from Earth.
3. The Atlantis expedition members (i.e. more than just the team) settle as a colony somewhere else in Pegasus,.
sga  fic  list  unread  theme:stranded  genre:multi 
may 2010 by scorpionvoices
No Man's Land, by Medie
When the shooting starts, Elizabeth's thrown to the ground as Lorne takes up position. Returning fire, he looks over his shoulder and grins wryly. "You realize after this, Sheppard's never letting you off-world again."

Elizabeth smiles impishly, ducking when something explodes. "Not with you at any rate." [4628]
fic  sga  sga:elizabeth  sga:lorne  unusualpairing  drama  theme:stranded  theme:snark  pre-het  humor  medie  genre:action  opinion:awesome  rating:pg-13 
may 2010 by scorpionvoices
words like glass splinters, by Medie
"You kiss your mama with that mouth?" Eva asks. She doesn't think much of the question until she realizes Ford's staring at her mouth. [3859]
fic  sga  au:gender  sga:lorne  sga:ford  unusualpairing  theme:DADT  theme:first-time  theme:snark  romance  characterstudy  slash  nc-17  medie  theme:angst  opinion:awesome 
may 2010 by scorpionvoices
pentapus: The Running Man
AHAHAHAHAHHAAAAA!!!!!!!! They are all so shocked and horrified and mesmerized! Rodney has less and less food in his hands with every panel! Sheppard's ears look like someone stapled oysters to the sides of his head! I CAN'T EVEN BREATHE ANYMORE!
art  fanart  sga  comic  hilarity  LOLZ  team!fic  sga:john  sga:ronon  sga:teyla  sga:rodney  shenanigans  gen  pg  favs:art  pentapus 
may 2010 by scorpionvoices
starfoozle: Inevitable
John looks way too happy to be Han Solo, Teyla's playing along good-naturedly, Rodney's ogling the Death Star plans, and Ronon's wondering why he got stuck with a costume that's really just a bandolier.
art  fanart  sga  starwars  humor  mixed-media  drawings  paintings  opinion:awesome 
may 2010 by scorpionvoices
The 10 Funniest Moments From 5 Years Of Stargate Atlantis - Stargate Atlantis funniest Moments - io9
SGA, for me, was less about the Wraith, or even character development, but more about what ridiculous one-liner will Ronon try to work this week. Sure, I cheered when McKay bagged the girl and when Sheppard saved someone's life... once again.

But what I'll remember from the crew of Atlantis was the funny. It's the string of clever moments (some more than others) is what I'll look back on fondly over the years. And yes, I'll light a candle to say goodbye to dear, sweet Rodney McKay — but he really, truly is only as good as the people who roll their eyes around him.

So here are, in my humble opinion the top 10 funniest moments from Stargate Atlantis.
article  sga  meta  humor  video 
may 2010 by scorpionvoices
I Am The Weapon, by Jenda Vis
They don't always get along. A series of episode tags and asides that show how they figure it all out. [84,228]
fic  sga  sga:ronon  sga:john  ensemble  theme:friendship  theme:first-time  theme:love  happyending  ronon/sheppard  quality:good  long  novel  slash  nc-17  jendavis  theme:angst  opinion:awesome  episoderelated  opinion:sweet 
may 2010 by scorpionvoices
chopchica: Predatory Analysis
“You come from a civilized planet, yes? Active military, tall buildings, heavy machinery.”

“So?”

“So, it is impossible to believe such a planet would lack basic cutlery.”

Ronon Dex put down his handful of salad and stared at Radek. Radek stared back before looking down toward his belt.

“It would have been more believable if you had stabbed at things with your knife.”

Ronon Dex nodded slowly. “I was waiting to see if anybody noticed.”
fic  sga  oneshot  sga:radek  sga:ronon  humor  theme:seduction  trope:matchmaking  theme:firstkiss  radek/ronon  unusualpairing  slash  rating:pg-13 
may 2010 by scorpionvoices
seperis: story of a girl
When Joanna Sheppard was six years old, she stepped into the cockpit of her very first plane and told her parents that she wanted to fly.

"Women don't go into combat," Major Sheppard said with a frown, eyes flickering to his wife, leaning casually against the seat.

Captain Sheppard just grinned and reached down, guiding her daughter's hands. "Joan will fly planes that haven't been invented yet." Leaning down, her mother's voice hummed low and gentle against her ear. "All you have to do is want it."
fic  sga  au:gender  sga:john  sga:rodney  theme:genderfuck  john/rodney  theme:establishedrelationship  theme:marriage  missingscene  het  nc-17  seperis  quality:good  episoderelated 
may 2010 by scorpionvoices
icantfollow: Fairy Tale Dynamics
He says his name is John and he's a prince. Rodney, born to anti-establishment parents and raised by a witch with plans for world domination, takes his word for it. [~10,300 words of Rodney the grumpiest Rapunzel and John the Prince With Ridiculous Hair]
fic  sga  au:fantasy  crack  sga:rodney  john/rodney  fairytale  fantasy  theme:firstkiss  humor  happyending  slash  theme:angst  rating:pg-13 
march 2010 by scorpionvoices
bratfarrar: Wild Nest, No Prison
Rodney and Ronon are arguing over whether the scars from Rodney’s highschool chemistry lab should count as battle scars—Rodney asserting quite loudly that he’d spent the year fighting the idiocies of his so-called ‘teacher’, and trying to keep from being blown up by his pothead classmates. Ronon seems bemused but refuses to concede the point. Teyla had early on made a few attempts to smooth things over, but is now simply pretending not to laugh at them, skin crinkled at the corners of her eyes and around her mouth, luminous in the firelight. In a few minutes, John will step in and distract Rodney with his own scars and the story of when he’d stabbed himself in the foot with a pitchfork and of the time he’d ripped open his arm trying to climb down a plum tree one-handed while cradling a basket of fruit. He has other scars, real ones with too much history behind them, scars that don’t look like scars, but they have no place here.
fic  sga  au:magicalrealism  sga:john  characterstudy  worldbuilding  metal/ink!fic  theme:scars  team!fic  gen  pg  sad  theme:friendship  quality:good  trope:wingfic  opinion:sweet 
march 2010 by scorpionvoices
Logopetria series
John watched in horrified fascination as Rodney literally choked on his words, strangely-shaped objects spilling from his mouth in utter silence except for his coughing and ragged breath.
fic  sga  sga:john  sga:rodney  theme:friendship  magicalrealism  drama  theme:h/c  theme:first-time  pre-slash  lavvyan  theme:angst  rating:pg-13 
march 2010 by scorpionvoices
High-Water, by lavvyan
After weeks of trying to find the boy's parents (he told them that his mother was Ontario and his father Salmon River, but nobody believed him) or any other relatives, the authorities declared Meredith an orphan. [1606]
fic  sga  au:magicalrealism  sga:rodney  fairytale!character  sga:john  humor  worldbuilding  interesting  theme:love  john/rodney  slash  pg  lavvyan 
march 2010 by scorpionvoices
miss_porcupine: Five differences between the Air Force and the Marines (as explained to Ronon)
5) Rodney McKay: "The Air Force has a big budget and brilliant scientists. And when they run out of the latter, they use the former to buy more. The Marines, as far as I can tell, run around a lot and bark."
ficlet  sga  sga:ronon  hilarity  shenanigans  short  humor  gen  favs:sga/sg1  miss_porcupine  style:fivethings  rating:pg-13 
march 2010 by scorpionvoices
Highly Classified and Very Hush Hush - rageprufrock - NCIS, Stargate Atlantis [Archive of Our Own]
Gibbs sometimes wonders what he did to deserve these morons, but then he looks through the one-way window at three naked and extremely uncomfortable-looking Marines and figures it could be worse. He could be their boss. At least his idiots are wearing pants — even if DiNozzo's are probably made by some nancy Italian.
fic  ncis  crossover  sga  tobetagged 
march 2010 by scorpionvoices
perspi: Five Ways Ronon Loses His Dreads
Sheppard brings him back by musing, "Your hair probably saved your life." "Wha?" Ronon mumbles, willing the world to come back into focus; oh, yeah. Concussed. "You were out for a while. Probably lying in that stuff the whole time. If it'd been me..." Sheppard trails off with a couple of painful-sounding coughs, his leg shaking against Ronon's back. "You woulda been fine," Ronon says. "Your hair wouldn't take shit from a little acid." Sheppard wheezes out a laugh, then coughs and shoves into Ronon's shoulder. "Don't...can't...laughing...ow..." he gasps. [2354]
fic  sga  sga:ronon  characterstudy  worldbuilding  team!fic  theme:friendship  theme:family  gen  pg  quality:good  favs:sga/sg1  style:fivethings 
february 2010 by scorpionvoices
smittywing: Hero for a New Age
"Superman's the last of his kind, too," Ronon said quickly. “I'm going to try to get McKay to rig me up some heat vision so I can melt steel like Superman."
fic  sga  sga:ronon  theme:friendship  humor  sga:rodney  worldbuilding  gen  pg  favs:sga/sg1  opinion:awesome  opinion:sweet 
december 2009 by scorpionvoices
toft_froggy: Poetry In Motion
"If you've just tuned in, this is the final of the Pegasus Championship brought to you by Pegasus Telecommunications, I'm Richard Woolsey, here with Jack O'Neill at this game which promises to be one of the most hard-fought battles in recent footballing history. We are seeing Atlantis United in blue, warming up on the sidelines to take on the reigning champions, Inter-Hive F.C., in their grey away strip, as the two captains, John Sheppard and Michael Hybride, walk up for the coin toss. They've got quite a history, these two, after Hybride's notoriously short-lived time at Atlantis, where personality clashes reportedly led to his departure after barely a season."
fic  sga  sg1  au:realworld  earthside  sga:john  sga:rodney  ensemble  team!fic  OT?  kink  hilarity  john/rodney  shenanigans  slash  het  nc-17  favs:sga/sg1  opinion:awesome 
december 2009 by scorpionvoices
War Bride
He remembers Nicky Sharpton calling from Korea and saying, "Shep, I swear, she's amazing, you'll love her; I can't wait for you to meet her." John remembers saying, "Uh-huh," and "That's great," and then, the first moment he thought he could say it and Nicky might actually hear him, "Look, Nicky, I'm sure she's a really great girl and everything, but you're overseas, man, away and alone and... Just, maybe slow down a little. Just, you know, before you make any definite decisions..." and Nicky says, "We got married on Tuesday," and John says, "Gee, Nicky, that's great: congratulations!"
fic  sga  earthside  sga:john  theme:family  lowselfesteem  john/rodney  sga:rodney  slash  r  speranza  theme:angst 
december 2009 by scorpionvoices
toft_froggy: The Girls of St. Mary's
Yes, this is a John/Rodney fifties girls' boarding school genderswap AU. [a WiP no longer! It is finished, in three glorious parts, and I have an immense amount of love for it.]
fic  sga  au:period  au:gender  au:school  sga:rodney  sga:john  theme:love  slash  nc-17  favs:sga/sg1  for-kayla  theme:angst  opinion:awesome 
december 2009 by scorpionvoices
khohen1: [john]
This is how this fic came to be: Everyone on my f'list kept talking about Dexter, which I eventually figured out was a tv show. I found Dexter and downloaded it, and watched two episodes. I really, really, really freakin' liked it. I then had the thought... wouldn't it be interesting to tell a story where John Sheppard is Dexter?
fic  sga  au:fusion  dexter  unread 
november 2009 by scorpionvoices
someinstant: Thank you for flying Church of England
1. Unless we've all drawn the wrong conclusion, and the universe is actually very very small. Infinitely tiny. In which case, a bread factory, being bread-factory-sized, would be larger than said universe, except that the universe would then contain the bread factory, making the bread factory even more infinitely tiny than the universe-- unless! Unless the bread factory somehow exists outside of the known universe, but that is a supposition which is really just headache-causing and unnecessary. So let us, for the moment, assume that our first conclusion is correct, and that Universe = Very Large. And bigger than a bread-box.
fic  sga  crack  humor  ensemble  style:philosophical  hilarity  gen  favs:sga/sg1  opinion:awesome  rating:pg-13 
november 2009 by scorpionvoices
Gifts series, by Leah and Springwoof
A series of stories set in the same AU as Aegis, a universe where ten percent of Earth's population have Gifts--special abilities.
fic  series  sga  au:magicalrealism  theme:superpowers  long  slash  het  r  quality:good  theme:angst 
november 2009 by scorpionvoices
Songs Across the Ocean, by Mhalachai
Even though he's still walking around, Harry Potter didn't really survive the war.
fic  sga  crossover  hp  tobetagged 
october 2009 by scorpionvoices
minnow1212: Twelve Things They (Will Someday) Say in the Pegasus Galaxy
A while ago, when the SG: Atlantis Urban Legends challenge was going on, I was thinking about what urban legends and cautionary tales would appear in the Pegasus Galaxy. Like, I think there'd be ones about the Stargate, wouldn't you, in order to impress basic Stargate safety rules upon children? Because a lot of those Stargates don't seem to be guarded, and so I would imagine that instead of hearing, say, bus safety stories about children who stuck their heads out of the sides of bus windows and got their eyes poked out by branches, children would get a whole constellation of stories about the children who wandered through the Stargates and never could find their way home. That, combined with vague thoughts about the season finale, resulted in this bit of oddness. Spoilery through the end of season 2.
fic  sga  theme:futurefic  short  mood:dark  interesting  mythology  gen  style:fivethings  rating:pg-13 
october 2009 by scorpionvoices
The Pi Covenent, by ashtakra
A comrade recovered, but how much of him remains? Weir mentioned the existence of advanced civilisations but did not elaborate on their intentions - The Pi Covenent could be their doom, or their salvation. [33,030]
fic  sga  unread 
september 2009 by scorpionvoices
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