scorpionvoices + genre:crack   78

Enjolras’ Guide to Wooing - yallaintright - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]
Fourteen seconds after noticing he was in love with Grantaire, Enjolras realized he had no idea how romance worked. A normal person would panic but Enjolras is not a normal person. Enjolras is a ‘drink a lot of coffee and come up with a plan and follow the plan through until it works while drinking lots of coffee and then go kill Courfeyrac because he turned all your underwear bright pink while you were busy planning’ person. [1245]
fic  b:lesmisérables  au:modern  c:lesmis:enjolras  c:lesmis:grantaire  c:lesmis:courfeyrac  c:lesmis:eponine  c:lesmis:joly  theme:shenanigans  theme:boysaredorks  theme:clueless  LOLZ  p:lesmis:enjolras/grantaire  genre:fluff  genre:crack  genre:slash  r:pg-13  @ao3 
august 2013 by scorpionvoices
lunate8 | Vid: Jag Svär
Vid Title: Jag Svär
Song: I Swear, sung by The Starlite Singers
Fandom: Smallville
Summary: Let us tell you about this vid we saw
Length: 2:12

[The one with the kryptonite unicorns and the mpreg cat baby. IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL]
fanvid  genre:crack  tv:smallville  LOLZ  trope:mpreg  ihavenotagsforthis  for-kayla  @dw 
april 2013 by scorpionvoices
The Hobbit Kink Meme - Prompt Post 8 -- Minifill, by anon
Do you know the real reason hobbits live quietly in the Shire?

It's because all the other races banded together and banished them from the world's conflicts.

It just wasn't FAIR! Hobbits were tiny, adorable, and downright vicious with any weapon they picked up! No one else got to have any fun!

So the hobbits were disqualified and sent to live peaceful lives in the Shire; thus the battles of Middle Earth became a lot more bloody and a whole lot longer.


Bonus: It wasn't just the Men, Elves, and Dwarves that kicked them out; the Goblins, Orcs, and other evil beings fully agreed with the disqualification.
ficlet  b:lordoftherings  comment!fic  c:lotr:bilbo  c:lotr:thorin  c:lotr:thranduil  c:lotr:gandalf  hilarity  theme:shenanigans  genre:crack  rating:pg-13  @lj  challenge:kinkmeme 
march 2013 by scorpionvoices
Wherein Will Appear The Name Of Enjolras's Alpha. - Lanna Michaels (lannamichaels) - Les Misérables - Victor Hugo, Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil, Les Misérables (2012) [Archive of Our Own]
"My friends," he said. "Patria is my alpha."

"I beg your pardon?" Bahorel asked.

Enjolras slowly surveyed the room, taking in their shock. He frowned thoughtfully. "I was not aware that I had kept this a secret," he said. Then, with rising annoyance, he continued. "No, I know I have not kept this a secret."

They had to admit that was true, although Combeferre said, "Forgive us for thinking you were speaking metaphorically."

|||||
Additional Tags: *2013 Trope Bingo *Trope: Secret Relationship *Subverted Trope *Omega!Enjolras *Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics *Patria Is His Mistress *Heats *You Cannot Get Pregnant From A Metaphor (But Enjolras Is Trying) [1034]
fic  b:lesmisérables  c:lesmis:enjolras  c:lesmis:combeferre  c:lesmis:courfeyrac  c:lesmis:bahorel  c:lesmis:joly  c:lesmis:bossuet  opinion:weird  opinion:awesome  LOLZ  length:short  theme:snark  theme:shenanigans  theme:boysaredorks  kink:alpha/beta/omega  p:lesmis:enjolras/patria  p:lesmis:bossuet/joly  genre:slash  genre:crack  rating:pg-13  @ao3 
february 2013 by scorpionvoices
You Can Get Anything You Want at Sephiroth's Restaurant (excepting Cloud) - twigcollins - Final Fantasy VII [Archive of Our Own]
... or "and we was both jumping up and down yelling, 'KILL, KILL.'"

Sephiroth owns a restaurant. Everyone works there. Cloud puts on a skirt and there are cactaurs. So many cactaurs.

Mature mostly due to swears. Also horrific cactaur violence. It's still technically vegan. [5713]
fic  g:ffvii  au:restaurant  c:ff7:cloud  c:ff7:zack  ff7:sephiroth  c:ff7:ensemble  theme:shenanigans  theme:boysaredorks  genre:gen  genre:crack  LOLZ  author:twigcollins  @ao3 
february 2013 by scorpionvoices
explodinq pens
I don’t really have an explanation except I like puns. [Scott, Stiles, and Derek as birds]
art:fanart  tv:teenwolf  au:nothuman  c:teenwolf:scott  c:teenwolf:stiles  c:teenwolf:derek  LOLZ  genre:gen  genre:crack  artist:michellicopter  @tumblr 
january 2013 by scorpionvoices
explodinq pens
#because i can that's why #rise of the guardians #avengers #but not really at all #addicted to crossovers #fanart #my art #also not pictured: ThorNorth #Northor? #NORTHSE GOD OF THUNDER AND PRESENTS??? #anyway drawn more or less from memory because i'm lazy #michellicoptarts [Coulson as the Tooth Fairy made me almost swallow my tonsils trying to keep my hysterical laughter from waking the cat and/or the sister]
art:fanart  u:marvel  m:Avengers12  au:fusion  m:riseoftheguardians  c:rotg:jack  c:rotg:bunny  c:rotg:tooth  c:rotg:north  c:rotg:sandy  c:ironman:tony  c:avengers:steve  c:thor:loki  c:marvel:coulson  LOLZ  genre:crack  rating:pg-13  opinion:awesome  artist:michellicopter  @tumblr 
january 2013 by scorpionvoices
Golden Apples and Norse Gods (Or, How Ianto Got His Groove Back) - blackkat - Torchwood, The Avengers (2012) [Archive of Our Own]
Ianto finds himself back from the dead and, apparently, in the position to double-cross a power-crazed Norse god intent on conquering the Earth by taking out a team of superheroes. Must be a Tuesday. [2998]
fic  u:marvel  m:Avengers12  crossover  tv:torchwood  c:tw:ianto  c:thor:loki  c:avengers:ensemble  c:marvel:fury  theme:resurrection  theme:insanity  theme:snark  theme:undercover  theme:selfrescue  genre:crack  genre:gen  rating:pg  @ao3 
october 2012 by scorpionvoices
The Babysitter’s Club for Unmanageable Monsters - Chapter 1 - glitterandlube - Teen Wolf (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
Danny is running mostly off caffeine and wishful thinking at this point. He honestly wishes there was another person Jackson respected anywhere on the planet, but he’s pretty much it. Allison is already asleep on the table. Stiles has had so much Mountain Dew, he’s practically shaking. The meeting of Team Manage a Bunch of Fucking Idiots is off to its usual excellent start. [2680]
fic  tv:teenwolf  c:teenwolf:stiles  c:teenwolf:danny  c:teenwolf:allison  c:teenwolf:derek  theme:friendship  humor  theme:snark  theme:first-time  p:teenwolf:derek/stiles  genre:crack  genre:slash  rating:pg-13  author:glitterandlube  @ao3 
october 2012 by scorpionvoices
Another Saturday Night - Sue Kelley (sknkodiak) - Magnificent Seven (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
Chris Larabee had decided long ago that there were just some things that were going to happen on a Saturday night.

One: Josiah would invite everyone to church on Sunday and sit there with his knowing grin as they all stammered out excuses--even though pretty much everybody would show up on Sunday. Wasn't really a good idea to piss off a preacher who had some trouble turning the other cheek. Josiah rarely spent a Saturday night worrying about church attendance.

Two: At least one person--be it indigent farmer, liquored-up ranch hand, or shifty-eyed desperado--would pull a gun, knife, or some other implement of destruction, on Four Corners' resident gambler, Ezra Standish. Ezra rarely spent a Saturday night outside of Nathan's infirmary.

Three: Buck Wilmington would use his much-vaunted animal magnetism--including some of the most inane lines to ever emerge from a man's mouth--to get himself a lady. Buck rarely spent Saturday night in his own bed.

Saturday after Saturday rolled around the same way.
fic  tv:magnificentseven  c:mag7:chris  c:mag7:jd  c:mag7:vin  c:mag7:ensemble  theme:shenanigans  theme:boysaredorks  theme:snark  theme:establishedrelationship  LOLZ  p:mag7:buck/chris  genre:crack  genre:slash  rating:pg-13  @ao3 
september 2012 by scorpionvoices
Submission Impossible - jmtorres - Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011) [Archive of Our Own]
Summary:

Ethan's got a sub on his hands who's about to go into shock if he doesn't get dominated. One burning question: who the hell let a sub be chief analyst of the IMF?



Additional Tags:

Alternate Universe - BDSM
Miswire-verse
I'm really sorry
BDSM pon farr
can I just claim niqaeli made me do it
or at least encouraged me shamelessly
also I'm sorry for the title
I don't think I can blame niqaeli for that one though
inappropriate uses of children's movies
safewords that only make sense if you saw MI:III
also what the fuck is wrong with the IMF
seriously how are there so many moles
if you only watched Ghost Protocol some background: all the other MI films have IMF traitors
some serious internal agency problems is what I'm saying
I am apparently a person who uses ao3 tags like tumblr tags now
PS if this hits fuckyeahweirdtags feel free to leave the identifying info attached
I am okay with being known for ridiculous tags
I am at peace with the what the fuck I have written
I mean it only took me four months to get off my ass and post it but what the hell
fic  m:missionimpossible  genre:crack  c:mi:ethan  c:mi:brandt  c:mi:benji  c:mi:jane  missingscene  theme:first-time  humor  kink:D/s  p:mi:brandt/ethan  genre:slash  rating:nc-17  author:jmtorres  @ao3 
july 2012 by scorpionvoices
s2b2: Professor Worthington and the Search for the One-Eyed Trouser Snake
As the only Good Ol’ Boy offering tours on Nakkavara Island (it’s this little uninhabited place a fuckton of miles away from any coast, don’t bother), I tend to attract a certain personality type. Like the rich asshole who wants to shoot something with horns. Or the trust fund asshole who wants to shoot something with claws. Or (my personal favorite) the rich asshole who brings his kids along so they can watch daddy be a man while he, yes, shoots something. I don’t know, something about having the only Texan accent for 200 miles tends to draw them to me.

But anyway, this character wasn’t one of those assholes. He was an entirely different type of asshole. No, not an asshole. Douchebag? Dumbass? Something like a cross between a ‘tool’ and a ‘twit,’ with a major emphasis on ‘dork.’ Fuckwit? Fuckwit.

Where to begin with this fella? Guess the best place would be a name. "James Worthington," the paper said, or, as I learned when I had my hand gripped in a bone-crushing handshake, "Professor James T. Worthington the third, so utterly spiffing to meet you, I say, wot!"

I shit you not. [8003]
originalfic  oneshot  LOLZ  theme:shenanigans  theme:boysaredorks  genre:slash  genre:crack  for-kayla  for-cindy  @lj 
july 2012 by scorpionvoices
HELLO Person of Interest - togsos - Person of Interest (TV), Hello Kitty - Fandom [Archive of Our Own]
Reese steals an awful lot of guns . Hello Kitty Reese stole rainbows and sunshine for Finch, and whilst Finch appreciated the thought, it wasn't quite as an effective deterrent. Note that Kitty took the bow off because it kept getting in the way of effective aiming.
art:fanart  macro  tv:personofinterest  reaction:O_o  LOLZ  genre:gen  genre:crack  for-kayla 
june 2012 by scorpionvoices
Ten Commandments of Fanfic Writers
In the beginning, there was canon. And God saw that the canon was lame, and God said “This canon is lame.”

The Lord took a handful of clay from all corners of the Earth and created a figure and imbued it with imagination and skill and knowledge of html code. And the Lord called this figure “Fanfiction author” and blew the breath of life into it that it might live and be able to squee.

And the Lord saw that the creation was good and the Lord said “This author is good.”

The Lord took the author up onto the mountain and spoke unto him, saying “You are a fic author, and you are My creation. These are My commandments. Follow them or flames shall reign down upon you and fill your email accounts.”

And the author was much afraid, and said unto the Lord “…okay…”

And these were the commandments the Lord lay down for the author, ten in number. And the number of the commandments was ten, and they numbered ten. There were ten commandments.
genre:crack  meta  lolz.forever  thetruthaboutfandom 
march 2012 by scorpionvoices
Sherlock BBC Kink Meme - Prompting: Part XIV -- Ducks!, by anonymous
Crowley watched one of the ducklings nip at their 'Uncle' Sherlock's tail feathers. "I'm naming that one Moriarty," he said. "He'll grow up obsessed with trying to better Uncle Sherlock, it'll be better than a Greek tragedy."

"There's already a Moriarty, dear," Aziraphale said, obviously trying to break the news gently. He paused. "Well, there was," he corrected. "He threatened Sarah at some point in the courting stages, John went to Sherlock and, well, there was a weir involved."

"You've brought me a *murderous threesome of ducks*," Crowley said, delight in every syllable. "It's like you've known me for six thousand years or something."
fic  b:goodomens  au:fusion  tv:sherlock  au:nothuman  c:go:crowley  c:go:aziraphale  c:SH:watson  c:SH:holmes  c:sh:sarah  OT3  theme:friendship  theme:establishedrelationship  theme:food  hilarity  shenanigans  p:sh:john/sarah/sherlock  genre:crack  genre:slash  genre:het  rating:pg  challenge:kinkmeme  @lj 
february 2012 by scorpionvoices
Thor Kinkmeme - Prompt Post 3 -- David Attenborough Is In My Bedroom, by cactus_rabbit
The elderly British man is standing over Loki as he awakens, gesturing to Loki and whispering to a camera being operated by another man.

"This extraordinary creature, the rare Pygmy Frost Giant, is a solitary animal, native to the extradimensional region of Jotunheim. These creatures-"

"GET OUT OF MY BEDROOM!"

"As you can see, these creatures are fiercely territorial and will put on a spectacular display to assert their dominance over a given area."
fic  u:marvel  m:thor  post-movie  comment!fic  c:thor:loki  shenanigans  humor  genre:crack  genre:gen  rating:pg  challenge:kinkmeme 
january 2012 by scorpionvoices
WIP amnesty: everything's coming up fitzherbert
Basically, this is the fic to go along with the “Miguel and Tulio from The Road to El Dorado are totally Flynn-from-Rapunzel’s dads!” concept I’ve seen everywhere. To be clear: THIS IS NOT MY ORIGINAL IDEA, AT ALL. It’s been all over tumblr, and while I totally don’t know who started it, if you do, let me know and I’ll credit them here!

Also, the fact that this exists at all? Toooootally leupagus’s fault. She is terrible and she makes me do terrible things. TERRIBLE. ONES. |||

Fifteen minutes later, everyone has a glass of brandy, except for Eugene, who has the bottle.

“I need it,” he says. “For moral support. And my head wound. And... reasons.”

Rapunzel sighs and pats him on the shoulder. It is a gesture that somehow manages to say, “I love you,” “I am ashamed to know you,” and “Never forget that I wear every last pair of pants in this relationship, including that pair you keep in the back of the closet with the sequins,” all at the same time.

Eugene really loves her a lot. [2786]
fic  u:disney  m:tangled  crossover  m:roadtoeldorado  c:tangled:eugene  c:tangled:rapunzel  c:rted:tulio  c:rted:miguel  c:rted:chel  theme:long-lost-relatives  theme:establishedrelationship  theme:family  theme:kids  theme:snark  boysaredorks  p:tangled:eugene/rapunzel  p:rted:chel/miguel/tulio  OT3  trope:implausiblerelatives  genre:crack  genre:het  genre:slash  rating:pg  author:gyzym  WiP-amnesty  @tumblr  favs:crossover  hilarity  LOLZ  for-cindy 
december 2011 by scorpionvoices
capkink: Prompt Post 001
Prompt: Things the Howling Commandos, SSR employees, the Avengers, or various SHIELD employees are no longer allowed to do.
fic  u:marvel  m:captainamerica  co:avengers  list  genre:crack  opinion:awesome  hilarity  genre:gen  rating:pg-13  shenanigans  challenge:kinkmeme  @lj  for-kayla 
november 2011 by scorpionvoices
shinybug: The Play's the Thing
Arthur had to spare a thought to be impressed at how many slanderous and untrue things Merlin had managed to insert into such a brief statement: that Arthur liked to drink, and that when he did drink too much he had a tendency to inflict bodily harm upon his manservant, either in the form of beatings and/or possibly sodomy, and that chambermaids were more or less involved in these indiscretions. [~5,000]
fic  tv:merlin  oneshot  c:merlin:arthur  c:merlin:merlin  genre:crack  theme:snark  theme:clueless  theme:comingout  trope:matchmaking  theme:friendship  theme:first-time  hilarity  LOLZ  genre:slash  rating:r  favs:merlin  opinion:awesome  p:merlin:arthur/merlin  @lj 
september 2011 by scorpionvoices
But The Cat Came Back - twelve_pastels - X-Men: First Class (2011), Sherlock (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
In retrospect, Erik possibly should have been suspicious. All of the mannerisms were the same, the coloring was almost exactly correct, and whiskey in the milk? A dead giveaway.

Although, to his credit, the last thing a man thinks of during the week after he’s broken up with the person who he’s certain is the love of his life is, upon seeing a bedraggled, frantic cat crouching on his stoop on a rainy night, “Oh, look! It’s Charles, and he’s been transformed into a cat by a malevolent government program! I wonder how I can change him back and thereby secure his love forever and ever, amen?” [3848]
fic  au:fusion  humor  trope:animorph  theme:establishedrelationship  theme:angst  theme:clueless  theme:boysaredorks  @ao3  u:marvel  co:x-men  m:x-men:firstclass  tv:sherlock  c:xmen:erik  c:xmen:charles  c:xmen:emma  c:SH:mycroft  c:SH:holmes  c:SH:watson  genre:crack  p:xmen:charles/erik  genre:slash  rating:r  author:twelve_pastels 
august 2011 by scorpionvoices
garnettrees: Easy Co. Wakes Up Gay
Joe Liebgott woke up gay, thought about for a while, and scratched out "make little Liebgotts" on his list of Things To Do After The War. He then went looking for Webster.

Bull Randalman woke up gay, smoked a cigar, and wondered how many cute enlisted men he could fit into a potato sack.

Cobb woke up gay, but it made absolutely no difference, as no one liked him anyway.

Eugene Roe woke up gay, and was rather pleased. He was, after all, extremely pretty.
fic  c:bob:ensemble  hilarity  trope:wokeupgay  trope:everyoneisgay  for-kayla  opinion:awesome  tv:bandofbrothers  genre:crack  c:bob:nixon  c:bob:winters  c:bob:webster  c:bob:perconte  c:bob:liebgott  c:bob:bull  c:bob:guarnere  c:bob:malarkey  c:bob:lipton  c:bob:doc  c:bob:luz  c:bob:babe  c:bob:speirs  p:bob:nixon/winters  p:bob:lipton/speirs  p:bob:liebgott/webster  genre:slash  rating:pg  @lj  p:bob:babe/doc  note:retag 
august 2011 by scorpionvoices
The Space Jello That Didn't Eat Chicago - tsukinofaerii - Marvel Adventures: Avengers [Archive of Our Own]
For Science (and also for Toni's Ulterior Motives), the Avengers head up into space. Due to a combination of events, they get mixed up in the left over mess from an old galaxy-cruising sweet-talker, get slimed, and pick up an honorary Avenger along the way. Science never catches a break, and neither do Toni and Steph. Luckily, Wolverine used to be a Reverend. It's probably a Thursday. [14,890]
fic  au:gender  shenanigans  theme:space  theme:friendship  theme:establishedrelationship  theme:marriage  theme:snark  LOLZ  pitchperfect  theme:aliens  @ao3  favs:marvel  for-kayla  favs:bestofthebest  for-cindy  opinion:awesome  u:marvel  co:avengers  m:ironman  c:avengers:steve  c:ironman:tony  c:spiderman:peter  c:xmen:logan  c:xmen:ororo  c:avengers:janet  theme:team!  genre:fluff  p:marvel:steve/tony  genre:femslash  author:tsukinofaerii  genre:crack  note:retag 
august 2011 by scorpionvoices
We Never Trained For This At Toccoa - newredshoes - Band Of Brothers [Archive of Our Own]
“So,” the cat says at last. “I would like to make it known that this is really far more awkward for me than it could ever be for you.”

Winters goes very still, his hand resting on the Persian’s back. The cat twists on his shoulder and blinks up at him.

“Any chance you could get my Vat 69 open?” [1350]
fic  c:bob:ensemble  trope:animorph  hilarity  theme:shenanigans  theme:boysaredorks  theme:snark  theme:friendship  for-kayla  favs:bandofbrothers  @ao3  opinion:awesome  tv:bandofbrothers  genre:crack  c:bob:winters  c:bob:nixon  c:bob:lipton  c:bob:luz  c:bob:buck  c:bob:doc  c:bob:liebgott  genre:gen  rating:pg  author:newredshoes  note:retag 
august 2011 by scorpionvoices
norsekink: Prompt Post No. 1 -- How To Woo a God: Aesir Edition by Deadpool, by made_of_tin
Since it's basically canon that Deadpool wants Thor's hammer in him, I want to see the Merc With A Mouth incessantly hitting on Thor until Thor either smacks him unconscious or ends up sleeping with him just to shut him up. [MY STOMACH HURTS SO BAD, OMG HOW IS THAT SO FUNNY?!]
lolz  theme:shenanigans  theme:boysaredorks  for-kayla  opinion:awesome  rating:pg-13  art:fanart  u:marvel  co:marvel616  c:avengers:thor  c:thor:loki  c:marvel:deadpool  c:marvel:cable  genre:crack  p:marvel:cable/deadpool  genre:slash  challenge:kinkmeme  @lj  art:fancomic 
july 2011 by scorpionvoices
pidgeoned: i'll build you a fire
More cracky fluff, I guess. This was supposedly a response to a prompt on [info]1stclass_kink but then it went awry. Post-missile crisis, Charles (has a nervous breakdown) is nesting. Yeah, idek. This was supposed to be C & E: Mutants In Heat but idk what happened. Basically, Charles and Erik live in relative harmony with the children and Charles realizes a few things about himself, besides his love of housework. Meanwhile, Erik builds something (not a fire despite what the title suggests). [3747; CHARLES CLEANS ALL THE THINGS, FREAKS OUT ERIK AND THE KIDS, AND WEARS TASSELED LOAFERS. BASICALLY THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER.]
fic  u:marvel  m:x-men:firstclass  c:xmen:charles  c:xmen:erik  c:xmen:ensemble  theme:shenanigans  hilarity  theme:boysaredorks  theme:friendship  theme:love  theme:family  genre:crack  p:xmen:charles/erik  genre:slash  r:pg  for-kayla  pidgeoned  opinion:awesome  opinion:sweet  @lj 
june 2011 by scorpionvoices
Repectable Policework - Roga, Tieleen - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]
It wasn't that Constables Lambert and Saporta were untrustworthy. It was just that Vimes didn't trust them. |||

"Commander Vimes finished reading over the report, signed his name, and finally looked up.

"Constable Saporta," he said, heavily. "Constable Lambert."

He looked them over. Constable Lambert was standing at nearly pitch-perfect attention, marred only by the fact that his hair was completely refusing to cooperate. Constable Saporta, clearly also doing his damnedest to show proper respect, was similarly impaired by the unfortunate fact of being, inescapably, Constable Saporta." [2378]
fic  au:fusion  shenanigans  boysaredorks  hilarity  lolz  theme:snark  theme:undercover  bandom:  @ao3  rpf:cs  opinion:awesome  rpf:americanidol  u:discworld  genre:gen  rating:pg  c:cs:gabe  c:ai:adam  c:discworld:vimes  genre:crack 
may 2011 by scorpionvoices
Pardon Me, by non sequiter
"You stole a horse. Chris Larabee's horse, in fact."

"Yes, Your Honor. As I see no other witnesses are available, I am willing to offer up my own interpretation of events for the record."

"Oh, I have a few notes already, but please continue, Mr. Standish."

"On May sixteenth, I absconded with Mr. Larabee's steed under the cover of darkness."

"According to Chris, it was ten in the morning, and he was surprised that you were even awake, let alone out of bed."

"Mr. Larabee is understandably confused. I had to render him unconscious in order to secure my getaway."

"He helped you open the stall door."

Another dismissive hand wave. "Once I took care of Mr. Larabee, I attempted to conceal my crime and place the horse in a safe location until I could later retrieve him."

"And the safe location just happened to be the neighboring stall."

"I admit," Standish said, "it was a poorly-conceived attempt at concealment."
fic  oneshot  hilarity  LOLZ  theme:snark  favs:mag7  @blackraptor  opinion:awesome  tv:magnificentseven  genre:crack  c:mag7:ezra  c:mag7:judgetravis  theme:shenanigans  theme:boysaredorks  genre:gen  rating:pg  author:sequiter  dialogue 
may 2011 by scorpionvoices
sam_storyteller: Half A Dozen Laconic Bastards
John Sheppard didn't know he was part of an ATA-gene cloning project until it was much, much too late. Neal and Zane have a serious case of sibling rivalry, Ianto and Tim don't like the uniforms, and Gwen isn't sure she wants to be leader after all. [As one commenter put it, it's basically the Grand Unified Theory of Hair. It's awesome!]
fic  crossover  theme:family  trope:implausiblerelatives  humor  @DW  opinion:awesome  tv:stargateatlantis  tv:torchwood  tv:whitecollar  tv:eureka  ca:teentitans  genre:crack  c:sga:john  c:sga:rodney  c:whitecollar:neal  c:eureka:zane  c:batman:tim  c:tw:ianto  c:tw:gwen  theme:shenanigans  theme:boysaredorks  genre:gen  rating:pg  author:sam_storyteller  admin:retag 
april 2011 by scorpionvoices
loveslashangst: Fifty Things Captain Jack Harkness Learnt After Ianto Jones Learnt to Knit
16) A Weevil tea cosy is just plain wrong.

17) A Dalek tea cosy is disturbing beyond description.

18) Gwen does not find knitted lingerie amusing.

19) Rhys does. [879]
ficlet  tv:torchwood  c:tw:jack  c:tw:ianto  c:tw:gwen  c:tw:rhys  genre:crack  humor  genre:fluff  theme:knitting  theme:aftermath  theme:shenanigans  hilarity  p:tw:jack/ianto  genre:slash  favs:dw/tw  for-kayla  style:fivethings  rating:pg-13  @lj 
april 2011 by scorpionvoices
novembersmith: Master Post of Random Ficlets, aka ATTACK OF THE LJ-CUTS
It just so happens that when [info]softlyforgotten and I ramble and glee at each other, it tends to spawn ficlets. And it was getting unwieldy going back through our epic conversations to find the bits I wanted to reread, so I thought, okay, fine. I'll just steal them all and put them in one convenient location. THERE MAY BE SPOILERS IN THE FOLLOWING SNIPPETS, SO DON'T CONTINUE READING UNLESS YOU HAVE AT LEAST FINISHED BLACK POWDER WAR. OKAY? OKAY.
fic  drabbles  b:hismajesty'sdragon  au:justalittledifferent  au:gender  genre:crack  c:hmd:laurence  c:hmd:granby  c:hmd:tharkay  humor  ot3  p:hmd:granby/laurence/tharkay  genre:slash  genre:het  author:novembersmith  @lj 
march 2011 by scorpionvoices
a_team_kink: First Post! -- fun little fill, by jiaren_shadow
"OH SHIT! EMPEROR PALPATINE!" Murdock screamed, trying and failing to reach for anything remotely weapon-like. "I ain't turnin' to no Dark Side! I'll never join you!" The black hooded figure seemed pretty unfazed. Typical of a Sith Lord.

"I know not of this Emperor Palpatine," intoned the figure.

"Are you a Ringwraith?" Murdock's eyes widened. He was pretty sure he didn't have the One Ring, though there was that one wedding he officiated at that one time, and those rings looked pretty suspicious. Damn Ringwraiths. They see everything.

"No, mortal. I am Death, and it is your time."

"Oh, fuck no." Murdock was pissed now. He could take on Ringwraiths, he could take Sith Lords, he could take Mexican drug lords, but like hell he was going to die. Like hell.
fic  m:a-team10  comment!fic  c:ateam:murdock  c:ateam:face  c:ateam:BA  c:ateam:hannibal  boysaredorks  shenanigans  warning:characterdeath-sortof  genre:crack  humor  theme:totherescue!  theme:selfrescue  rating:pg-13  genre:gen  challenge:kinkmeme  opinion:weird  @lj 
february 2011 by scorpionvoices
fera_festiva: How to extract when you are four inches tall and made from felt
So you've gone several levels deep into a dream, and discover that in this particular level, you are made of felt. D: But do not panic! Everyone's favourite point man and forger are here to show you how to cope.

Warning: contains hardcore felt Arthur/Eames sex. If of a nervous disposition... you'll probably be fine, actually.
art:fanart  m:inception  resource:artsandcrafts  genre:crack  humor  opinion:awesome  pairing:inc:arthur/eames  @lj 
january 2011 by scorpionvoices
leupagus | Look At This Stuff, Isn't It Neat? (AKA THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD)
Once upon a time there was the most beautiful princess in all the lands.

All of them.

His name was Steve.

Steve was mermaid princess.

Princess Steve fucking loved being a mermaid. It was awesome- you swam all day, and no one expected you to wear a shirt.
fic  tv:hawaii5-0  u:disney  m:littlemermaid  au:fusion  chat!fic  genre:crack  c:h50:steve  c:h50:kono  c:h50:chin  c:h50:danny  theme:friendship  theme:firstkiss  fairytale  p:h50:danny/steve  genre:slash  for-kayla  favs:h50  favs:bestofthebest  a:twentysomething  @DW  opinion:awesome  r:pg-13 
january 2011 by scorpionvoices
stuckinspokane: Tail of Two Kitties, The
Morgana believes that her pet needs a friend. || “I just don’t understand,” Morgana was saying into her phone while Merlin snacked on her bacon the next morning. “He’s always so depressed when I leave – it’s like he thinks I’m never going to come back. Is this normal cat behavior?”

The tinny voice spoke to Morgana, while she absently scratched behind Merlin’s ears.

“Yes, I try to play with him as much as I can when I’m home. I thought cats were individuals and liked to be alone, that’s why I didn’t think leaving him would be a problem. But when I leave he scratches the doors and just curls up on his pillow until I come home.”
fic  tv:merlin  au:nothuman  c:merlin:merlin  c:merlin:morgana  c:merlin:arthur  genre:fluff  genre:crack  genre:gen  rating:pg  opinion:adorable  @lj 
october 2010 by scorpionvoices
sparky77: The Incident with The Thingy, or Arthur's Adventures in Spying
Arthur is a spy. Merlin is his handler. What? It makes perfect sense. Really. ||

"For your code name," Merlin clarifies. "Excalibur."

Arthur frowns. "Isn't that the name of the seedy topless bar down the street?"

"It suits you then. Excalibur it is."
fic  tv:merlin  au:realworld  c:merlin:arthur  c:merlin:merlin  genre:crack  humor  theme:spies  theme:officeromance  dialogue  genre:slash  rating:r  author:sparky77  p:merlin:arthur/merlin  @lj 
october 2010 by scorpionvoices
hackthis: The Greenhouse-Birdbath-Kitchen-Sink Drama Network
Neville heard it first from his posies, who apparently had heard it from the busybody bluebird who came by every afternoon at half-three to have a dip in the six-tiered birdbath in Greenhouse B.

The bluebird had overheard it while sitting outside an open window in Gryffindor tower, while the fat lady was spilling the goods to the milkmaid who was visiting from the portrait by the staircase to the Slytherin dungeon. How the milkmaid had come by this information in such a dodgy part of the castle wasn’t made clear to Neville, but obviously this wasn’t the most reliable information network he had ever heard of, which is possibly why he felt somewhat hurt when his flowers told him that Ron Weasley fancied him too. After all, Neville had told them his about his crush in secrecy and this was no way to pay him back for all the time and attention he’d given them.

He didn’t want to be known as the bloke who raised gossipy flowers.
fic  b:harrypotter  oneshot  c:hp:neville  c:hp:ron  unusualpairing  theme:clueless  theme:firstkiss  trope:matchmaking  genre:crack  genre:slash  author:hackthis  favs:hp  opinion:awesome  rating:pg-13  @lj 
september 2010 by scorpionvoices
petra: Bat-Family marching cadences
Hold on tight to your jump line
Or gravity will break your spine
Don't let go, or you'll eat street
And end up smashed like shredded wheat.
fic-thing  u:DC  co:batman  c:batman:dick  c:batman:tim  LOLZ  dialogue  genre:crack  shenanigans  boysaredorks  theme:family  genre:gen  author:petra  @DW  rating:pg-13 
september 2010 by scorpionvoices
sparky77: How Ianto Jones Quits His Job and Decides to Take Over the World (Without the Help of a Kangaroo Army)
Hardison and Dean meet as a favor to Ianto. There’s something with a haunted computer except it’s not really haunted, it’s actually part of some sort of alien invasion. Dean doesn’t really care and doesn’t pay much attention to the explanation. He just kills what he’s told to kill. It’s nice to finally be able to let other people worry about the big picture. He just shoots when he’s told shoot, ducks when he’s told to duck, and tries not to get covered with the bright pink alien slime.

Aliens are apparently much messier than demons. [~7000]
fic  tv:leverage  crossover  tv:torchwood  tv:supernatural  genre:crack  c:leverage:alec  c:tw:ianto  c:spn:dean  OT3  theme:friendship  theme:UST  hilarity  LOLZ  theme:shenanigans  theme:boysaredorks  p:xvr:alec/dean/ianto  genre:slash  rating:pg  author:sparky77  @lj 
july 2010 by scorpionvoices
a_team_kink: First Post! -- On Horns and Blowing, or, Freud Was Right
Prompt: I've been watching the kinkmeme for awhile now, but I've yet to see this: Murdock/vuvuzela.

I am disappointed.

(If it ends up being Hannibal/Murdock/vuvuzela, I will be even happier. Dirty porn + football + obnoxious S. African horns = magic.)
fic  m:a-team10  comment!fic  genre:crack  c:ateam:murdock  c:ateam:hannibal  shenanigans  hilarity  p:ateam:hannibal/murdock  genre:slash  rating:r  for-hannah  @lj 
july 2010 by scorpionvoices
twentysomething: Tall and Tan and Young and Lovely (The Girl from Ipanema Goes Walking)
"You'll get me a sandwich, but you won't get both of us out of the elevator?" Sam asks flatly. Gabriel shrugs, because hey, he's gotta be him.

"It'll be a really good sandwich," Gabriel replies, because he knows Sam has been thinking about a ham sandwich all day, and Gabriel knows a guy in Virginia, and that shit? Amazing. Sam makes this face that clearly says 'what the fuck did I do to deserve this' and the answer is 'drink a lot of demon blood and let Lucifer out because I put hos before bros' but Gabriel isn't the type to rub people's mistakes in their faces.

Okay, that's totally a lie, but he'll let this one slide.
fic  tv:supernatural  oneshot  genre:crack  c:spn:gabriel  c:spn:sam  style:internalmonologue  theme:boysaredorks  theme:shenanigans  hilarity  theme:snark  theme:clueless  theme:firstkiss  LOLZ  p:spn:sam/gabriel  genre:slash  @DW  a:twentysomething  opinion:awesome  r:pg-13 
june 2010 by scorpionvoices
sparky77: After the Heist
Brad shakes his head. “It’s not too late to send you back to Poke. You can be saved.”

Ray grins. “Nope. Too Late. I wrote ‘Property of Ray Person’ on his ass in magic marker. It’s all legal and shit now.”

Nate clears his throat.

“It was scented magic markers, so it was classy,” Walt adds.

Nate frowns. “I can never tell when you’re joking or being serious.”

“It’s part of his charm,” Ray says.
fic  tv:generationkill  au:realworld  c:gk:ray  c:gk:walt  c:gk:brad  c:gk:nate  p:gk:ray/walt  p:gk:brad/nate  genre:crack  hilarity  theme:shenanigans  theme:boysaredorks  theme:snark  genre:slash  rating:r  author:sparky77  theme:crimeisthenewblack!  @lj 
june 2010 by scorpionvoices
bijoux: It's GK doodle time :D
[info]romanticalgirl wrote an awesome GK-inspired poem last night and wanted someone to illustrate it. After many many hours and no sleep, this was the cracky result. Enjoy!

Artwork Title: The Care and Keeping of the Iceman, by Ray Person, Cpl. USMC
art:fanart  tv:generationkill  p:gk:brad/nate  humor  genre:crack  genre:slash  rating:r  @lj 
june 2010 by scorpionvoices
petronelle, brown_betty, & ficbyzee: A preliminary examination of potential significant others (last saved by T. Drake) - DCU document
Summary: [info]thefourthvine wrote, "I want the story where someone sits down and thinks that, and lists every single person in the canon (probably in some kind of database, with numerical codes and assigned weights for each category and stuff) and weighs all the pros and cons and finally, after a lot of careful deliberation, selects a candidate for the position of Significant Other." This is the first step in that process. [TEARS OF LAUGHTER, I AM NOT EVEN JOKING. My favorite part *has* to be the entry on Alfred, oh god.]
fic-thing  u:DC  co:batman  c:batman:tim  characterstudy  hilarity  LOLZ  genre:crack  genre:gen  favs:dc  author:petronelle  author:ficbyzee  rating:pg-13  @lj 
june 2010 by scorpionvoices
speccygeekgirl: 5 Things McCoy is Not, and 1 He Is
Five things Leonard McCoy is not, and one he is. || 1. ""I'm a doctor, not a babysitter," McCoy bellows, but technically what has happened to Kirk and Spock is a medical issue, and he can't really complain too much at first. He gives each boy a PADD and leaves them in the exam room, keeping the doors open between there and his office.

He gets about an hour of work done before he hears a very girly scream. Girly even for a young boy. He comes around the corner and finds Spock sitting on Jim quite placidly, while the human boy tries and fails to wiggle away."
fic  u:startrek  m:startrek09  genre:crack  c:startrek:bones  hilarity  theme:shenanigans  theme:friendship  p:startrek:bones/sulu  unusualpairing  genre:slash  comment!fic  style:fivethings  opinion:awesome  rating:pg-13  challenge:kinkmeme  @lj 
may 2010 by scorpionvoices
fangasmic | [memes] The Broccoli Test
Doyle would have been able to tell Bodie to get broccoli with the merest flick of an eyebrow instead of having to flap his hands like a drunk hummingbird. And thus the broccoli test was born.

“Passing the broccoli test" became fandom shorthand for the couple that could convey everything from “Don’t order the chicken here, it sucks" to “I love you and want to have your babies but I’m still too pent up by heteronormative standards of masculinity to act on it- wait for me!" in a single significant eye-fucking glance.
thetruthaboutfandom  post:meta  meme  genre:crack  hilarity  LOLZ  theme:broccolitest  @dw 
may 2010 by scorpionvoices
acaramelmacchiato: Hug It Out
“Holy shit,” says Jim Kirk, who had taken a jaunt down to sickbay in search of Bones and hooch, when he finds Bones and Spock trying to wrestle each other to death on the hallway floor. Spock is on top, possibly winning because he’s Spock, but Bones is getting in some good hits. They’re both very uninhibited fighters; Spock never pulls punches and Bones never thinks twice about employing dirty tactics like pulling hair and jabbing at eyes. Or biting, Jim remembers, but that had been a weird night anyway.

Then he realizes that, instead of just watching his two best friends maim and sterilize each other, he should probably stop it.
fic  theme:friendship  humor  unusualpairing  LOLZ  @DW  a:acaramelmacchiato  rating:pg-13  u:startrek  m:startrek09  genre:crack  c:startrek:bones  c:startrek:spock  c:startrek:kirk  p:startrek:bones/spock  genre:pre-slash 
may 2010 by scorpionvoices
sparky77: How Ray Saved the Universe, Blasphemed a Whole Lot, and Finally Got Laid
For the most part, Heaven is a very organized place. There is order and structure and all the angels have a rank and know their place.

There is also Ray.

The demons say that Ray belongs with them. That he must have gotten lost. That he’ll find his way down to them eventually.

The angels say that Ray must be some sort of punishment. That they must have angered God and he sent them Ray to teach them about patience, or as a reminder that they must love all of God’s creatures no matter how strange. Or, as suggested by the angel Walter on a particularly trying day, because God’s a vindictive bastard with a mean sense of humor who loves to watch angels squirm.
fic  tv:generationkill  au:nothuman  genre:crack  c:gk:ray  c:gk:walt  theme:angels  hilarity  p:gk:ray/walt  p:gk:brad/nate  trope:matchmaking  genre:slash  rating:r  LOLZ  favs:randomfandom  author:sparky77  @lj 
may 2010 by scorpionvoices
skellerbvvt: Coffeeshop Muffins
Summary: Wherein Arthur And Merlin Are Dating, Save For the Part Where They Aren't. Also There Needs To Be A Girl Version Of “Bromance” But That’s a Discussion For Another Time. || “I want to make sandwiches named after them and have them be right next to each other on the menu, and every time someone orders an Arthur sandwich and Merlin sandwich together I will give them cookies in the shape of hearts and baby ducks,” Gwen said clutching Morgana’s head to her bosom in excitement, as she was want to. Morgana didn’t mind.
fic  tv:merlin  au:realworld  genre:crack  c:merlin:merlin  c:merlin:arthur  theme:clueless  theme:romance  theme:marriage  c:merlin:gwen  c:merlin:morgana  hilarity  LOLZ  dorksinlove  shenanigans  genre:slash  rating:r  favs:merlin  for-kayla  opinion:awesome  p:merlin:arthur/merlin  author:skellerbvvt  @lj 
april 2010 by scorpionvoices
chibirisuchan: A Shoggoth on the Chimney
Warnings: R-rated. Tentacles. Sephiroth failing to be as melodramatic as he desperately wanted to be. Tentacles. Aeris in an I-just-cleaned-that-you-slime-freak rage. Did I mention tentacles? Fluff. With tentacles. Yes, there are fluffy tentacles. Also, Cloud and his wheelbarrow. (And some more tentacles).
fic  hilarity  OT4  theme:first-time  theme:love  favs:ffvii  theme:angst  g:FFVII  genre:crack  c:ff7:zack  c:ff7:sephiroth  c:ff7:aeris  c:ff7:cloud  p:ff7:aeris/cloud/sephiroth/zack  genre:multi  r:r  a:chibirisuchan  @lj  k:tentacles 
april 2010 by scorpionvoices
sheffiesharpe: Highlights
Summary: Hockey and smut. Slightly cracky, by concept alone. Author's Note: I like hockey a lot. I went to an AHL game tonight. Basch and Vossler wanted to play, too.
fic  au:sports  oneshot  humor  g:FFXII  c:ff12:basch  c:ff12:vossler  p:ff12:basch/vossler  length:short  genre:slash  rating:nc-17  genre:crack  author:sheffiesharpe  @IJ 
april 2010 by scorpionvoices
aramleys_words: :D?
There is not even ONE crumb of seriousness in this entire fic and I am IN LOVE with it! Basically, Dean can only talk in emoticons and it's hilarious.
fic  tv:supernatural  genre:crack  c:spn:dean  c:spn:sam  c:spn:castiel  humor  hilarity  trope:emoticons  genre:pre-slash  p:spn:castiel/dean  favs:spn  rating:pg-13 
april 2010 by scorpionvoices
rusalka: Changes
Suddenly turning into a woman is actually the least surprising thing Steve has to deal with. [3281]
fic  trope:sexswap  shenanigans  hilarity  u:marvel  co:avengers  m:ironman  c:avengers:steve  genre:crack  p:marvel:steve/tony  genre:slash  rating:pg  @yuletide  author:rusalka 
february 2010 by scorpionvoices
momopi: Motivational Posters vol.3
6. SASUNARU: You always hurt the one you love... and you know that damn bastard deserves it!!
genre:crack  an:naruto  medium:manips  hilarity  @lj 
december 2009 by scorpionvoices
ink_like_blood: Sometimes Magic has a Sense of Humor; Gabe/various
Sometimes, it's got to be more than coincidence. "Bullets needs a second printing, then a third. Mikey thanks Gabe in the liner notes on Three Cheers, though Gabe isn't really sure why." [2000]
fic  rpf:mcr  rpf:cs  rpf:fob  rpf:tai  rpf:gch  rpf:p!atd  c:cs:gabe  genre:crack  hilarity  p:band:gabe/mikey  p:band:gabe/pete  p:band:brendon/gabe  manypairings  p:band:gabe/travis  p:band:gabe/nate  bandom:  genre:slash  rating:nc-17  author:eleanorlavish  @lj 
december 2009 by scorpionvoices
skew_whiff: Ceiling Keenser Is Watching You
Notes: So in this comment, [info]anothersuperboy described Keenser as 'the Enterprise's version of ceiling cat', which ended up inspiring this.
art:fanart  u:startrek  m:startrek09  genre:crack  humor  c:startrek:scotty  c:startrek:keenser  kink:voyeurism  for-kayla  opinion:awesome  rating:pg-13  @lj 
november 2009 by scorpionvoices
tristesses: A Distraction of Planetary Proportions
Terra does not comport herself as a planet should. She smiles, she laughs, she is overly involved with her humans, and she won't stop touching him. Vulcan should disregard her presence entirely and concentrate on his diplomatic affairs, but she is very....distracting. He does not realize that this is merely the beginning. (Earth/Vulcan) [~6500]
fic  au:anthro  weird  theme:first-time  humor  hilarity  for-kayla  opinion:awesome  u:startrek  m:startrek09  c:startrek:earth  c:startrek:vulcan  p:startrek:earth/vulcan  genre:crack  genre:smut  genre:het  rating:nc-17  @lj 
november 2009 by scorpionvoices
kathkin: I Can See That You're Thinking About Having Sex With Me But I Am Not Into You
Summary: Based on this prompt on the old Kink Meme: AU. Arthur can read minds. "For the longest time, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world: the undercurrent of whispering voices, flashes of alien emotion and thought at random intervals. It sharpened as he got older, but he just assumed it was normal. He couldn’t imagine it being any other way." [3674]
fic  tv:merlin  theme:superpowers  c:merlin:arthur  theme:psychic  genre:crack  theme:first-time  genre:slash  rating:r  humor  p:merlin:arthur/merlin  @lj 
november 2009 by scorpionvoices
hector_rashbaum: Road Dogs: Eleventy, Hot Messes: Sixty-Nine
(What's that, Pete Wentz, you want to play softball with the Jonas Brothers? Well, okay.) FBR's Hot Messes versus the Jonas Brothers' Road Dogs in an epic battle of the softball titans.
fic  rpf:jobros  rpf:fob  rpf:cs  rpf:tai  rpf:p!atd  ensemble  p:band:carden/kevin  shenanigans  boysaredorks  hilarity  LOLZ  genre:crack  bandom:  genre:slash  favs:bandom  opinion:adorable  opinion:awesome  rating:pg-13  @lj 
november 2009 by scorpionvoices
The Rabid Tiger 'verse
click Fanfiction, then Final Fantasy VII. Unless otherwise noted, all stories should be read in descending order; trust me, this au is amazing. Highly OOC and crackish, of course, but it is very high quality crack.
fic  series  g:FFVII  au:justalittledifferent  p:ff7:cloud/reno  p:ff7:cid/vincent  OOC  genre:crack  trope:mpreg  weird  theme:feral  theme:love  genre:slash  rating:nc-17  quirky  o.O  @privatearchive 
october 2009 by scorpionvoices
velithya: Momentary Paws (or, DO NOT WANT)
"I wonder if Tony knows where you came from?" Steve rumbles softly. "Be like him to pick up a kitten and then leave it to eat coffee on its own."

"It is not!" Tony yowls angrily, and Steve shakes his head.

"Coffee is bad for kittens," he says solemnly. "Don't let Tony tell you otherwise."

"I would not leave a kitten on its own," Tony mutters to himself, but Steve is already outside Tony's room and pushing open the door gently. "Tony?" he calls softly.

Tony squirms around in Steve's hands so he can see the room. The bedding is rucked and twisted, but there's definitely no-one in the bed.
fic  u:marvel  co:avengers  m:ironman  c:ironman:tony  c:avengers:steve  trope:animorph  hilarity  theme:snark  genre:crack  cute  genre:pre-slash  favs:marvel  for-kayla  p:marvel:steve/tony  opinion:awesome  rating:pg-13  @lj 
july 2009 by scorpionvoices
A Quick and Dirty Guide to Your Average Merlin Episode (parody)
SLASH DRAGON: Nobody can escape their destiny. Yours involves being with Arthur. You will be together. You will be two sides of the same coin. He will be the ying to your yang. You will be an unusually odd couple. You will be two peas in a pod. You will be Watson to his Sherlock. You will merge to become an amoeba called Merthar.
lolz.forever  tv:merlin  LOLZ  c:merlin:merlin  meta  genre:crack  genre:slash  humor  rating:pg  @lj 
january 2009 by scorpionvoices
Learned Your Name Without Words
Kinda like that movie '50 First Dates,' except, you know, *good*. Plus, the ending is way the fuck better. FRANKIIIIEEEE!!! He tries to be all noble and shit, but he just can't get a break! [10,810]
fic  rps  band:mcr  c:mcr:frank  c:mcr:bob  oc  p:mcr:bob/frank  trope:amnesia  genre:crack  humor  bandom:  genre:slash  rating:nc-17  length:short  theme:angst  @lj 
september 2008 by scorpionvoices
fueled by chlorophyll
In which Gabe Saporta is a stalk of corn, Brendon just wants his tomatoes fondled, and Spencer will shank anyone who tries to make food out of him.

“'If that chick hadn’t been trying to kill me,' Pete told Patrick later, burrowed into his lap for comfort, 'it would have been kinda awesome.'” [3,310]
fic  rpf:fob  rpf:cs  rpf:p!atd  rpf:tai  genre:crack  humor  p:band:pete/patrick  trope:curse  theme:transformation  bandom:  genre:slash  rating:pg-13  author:trascendenza  @lj 
september 2008 by scorpionvoices
Pollen (Zack x Aeris x Cloud x Sephiroth)
They all looked at Sephiroth. "Best girlfriend in the world," Zack found just enough control to murmur. "We're going to die," Cloud offered in turn, sounding like he was looking forward to it. "Mm," Aeris agreed with a faint little sigh. "I'm almost sorry I'm immune."
fic  g:FFVII  c:ff7:zack  c:ff7:aeris  c:ff7:cloud  c:ff7:sephiroth  OT4  genre:crack  trope:sexpollen  p:ff7:aeris/cloud/sephiroth/zack  genre:slash  genre:het  rating:nc-17  humor  theme:establishedrelationship  author:sleepswithcoyotes  @IJ 
july 2008 by scorpionvoices
Not Quite Snow White
Once upon a time a woman birthed a son with skin as soft and white as silk, whose hair was black as ebony -- most of it, anyway -- and whose eyes were red as blood. Naturally, she died of horror.
fic  an:yuyuhakusho  genre:crack  hilarity  c:yyh:hiei  c:yyh:kurama  LOLZ  for-amanda  favs:bestofthebest  favs:yyh  opinion:awesome  rating:pg-13  theme:fairytale  genre:slash  @privatearchive 
april 2008 by scorpionvoices
Brendonstilskin
Once there was a boy named Patrick. His best friend Pete would run around yelling, "Patrick is made of kittens and sunshine, and makes music more awesome then words!" It was very embarrassing, really.
fic  rpf:fob  rpf:p!atd  au:fusion  fairytale  p:band:brendon/patrick  humor  genre:crack  bandom:  genre:slash  rating:pg  theme:love  length:short  opinion:sweet  @lj 
january 2008 by scorpionvoices

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