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Twitter
Artificial intelligence cannot solve the problem of not knowing what the hell you’re doing and not really caring on…
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8 days ago
Twitter
We are coming to Austin TX next Thursday to tell you about our work across the government and why you should come j…
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9 days ago
Twitter
You think racism has existed since "the dawn of time?"

Poor thing. Grab a library card at the first opportunity.
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9 days ago
Twitter
Carrots for the good boys

📹: thelavaempire
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9 days ago
Twitter
Stop what you're doing and watch this clip from a Martin Luther King Jr. interview.
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17 days ago
Twitter
If you live in my building and are reading this, that commotion last night was me having a sexy drug party with fri…
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18 days ago
Twitter
Ran into this beautiful girl at the bar last night. To people that say you can’t find true love at a bar... I beg t…
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21 days ago
Twitter
“Comedians are attracted to cynical people because we think they're being real. And it took me forever to realize t…
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28 days ago
Twitter
4/ The only way forward is to regulate Facebook and other social media services to safeguard your privacy.

This is…
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4 weeks ago
Twitter
Just came home from a very serious trip abroad, covering very serious and somber things, and was greeted by a kid w…
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4 weeks ago
Twitter
if your name is junior
and you’re really handsome
come on raise your

h ä n d
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4 weeks ago
Twitter
THIS IS A VERY GOOD DOG OTTAWA CITIZEN THE CRATE WAS BAD
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5 weeks ago
Twitter
The dog rescue’s completely unrelated to the Straight Girl, one of them just gets an alert from a rescue org they’r…
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5 weeks ago
Twitter
Queer Dyke For The Straight Girl is three butches standing over her boyfriend/husband, intimidating him into being…
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5 weeks ago
Twitter
You’re kidding me. We only rate dogs. Please don’t send in mischievous sandy sea slugs. Show some respect. Thank yo…
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5 weeks ago
Twitter
I’ve been on brand my whole life
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5 weeks ago
Twitter
Meet Gordon. He was wondering if you’d be interested in some snugs today. Claims he’s very cozy. Will even let you…
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6 weeks ago
Twitter
This is Kona. She overheard you call the neighbor's dog the "best girl." A position she thought she held. 13/10 wil…
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7 weeks ago
Twitter
"when you see only one set of footprints in the sand it was then that I carried you"
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8 weeks ago
Twitter
roses are red
like elon musks car
twitter i love u but
bring back the star
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9 weeks ago
Twitter
It’s called perpetual otherism or perpetual foreigner syndrome. No one is ashamed of the word immigrant but it’s ti…
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9 weeks ago
Twitter
Meet Londres and Tokio. Londres wants to be just like Tokio when she grows pup. Right now she’ll settle for imitati…
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9 weeks ago
Twitter
How Adam Rippon got where he is: hard work, self-possession, mad skill

How Mike Pence got where he is: pandering…
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10 weeks ago
Twitter
Oh, the Superbowl, the Superbowl, it's just inescapable. So, how about some , while we're talking…
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11 weeks ago
Twitter
someone please tell this genius that periods go inside quotation marks as in “let your workers unionize.”
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11 weeks ago
Twitter
I can’t believe they recast Barron
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11 weeks ago
Twitter
This is Luna. She wants you to know she’s actually very tough. Only uses her human’s feet for comfort in the scarie…
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11 weeks ago
Twitter
Nobody really does.

Most of us are just experimenting and bullshitting our way through everything, with some of us…
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12 weeks ago
Twitter
Thanks to for sending me an unsolicited email indicating that there are several "must-see" Lakers gam…
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12 weeks ago
Twitter
today I learned if you put an unlocked phone in your pocket last used on podcasts, construction workers will look a…
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january 2018
Twitter
This is Duncan. He was recently diagnosed with IMPA, which unfortunately doesn’t stand for “i must pet asap.” The d…
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january 2018
Twitter
No one voted for Stephen Miller. He's just another xenophobe who works at the White House. Republicans shouldn't be…
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january 2018
Twitter
Spectre and Meltdown happen because splitting the page table for virtual memory in conjunction with speculative exe…
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january 2018
(404) https://twitter.com/1981meagan/status/949287744244736000
I would rather you call me ugly if you’re transphobic! :( Dogs love everyone—so should you!
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january 2018
Twitter
Photo of the decade: Doug Jones being sworn in, while his openly gay son QUIETLY DISINTEGRATES THE SOUL OF MIKE PEN…
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january 2018
Twitter
One of the best things I did in 2017 was start following Lil B
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january 2018
Twitter
“you are the best boy. you deserve all the noggin pats. nobody protects this household like you do. be strong for t…
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january 2018
Twitter
Why is the story after every SWATting not "heavily armed and poorly trained police kill innocent person after being…
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december 2017
Twitter
The productivity in the tech industry lost in 2017 because of people being excluded, harassed, and discriminated ag…
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december 2017
Twitter
So they changed my gate in my layover and I ask the employee what the gate changed too. I showed her my screenshott…
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december 2017
Twitter
A typed computer language vs an untyped computer language
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december 2017
Twitter
This is Gimli. He absolutely shreds. Mlem game on another level. 13/10 would consider my girl stolen
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december 2017
Twitter
I always feel a lil cheated when I see allegorical racism in movies cause that racism usually stems from human emot…
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december 2017
Twitter
Meet Monty. He’s been holding his gift for hours now. Decided he loved it before he finished unwrapping. Has no ide…
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december 2017
Twitter
This is Barkley. Every Christmas he chops down a tree and claims the stump as his own. Nobody knows why. 12/10
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december 2017
Twitter
This is Ollie. You can tell how long he’s been posing by how deep of a split the hardwood floor has caused. 13/10 (…
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december 2017
Twitter
Say hello to Izzy. She’s very serious about her festive headwear. Alternates between the two depending on the situa…
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december 2017
Twitter
This is Bailey. It’s her first Christmas. She’s concluded that it’s all a bit much. Prefers the snoozle. 13/10 woul…
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december 2017
Twitter
Meet Delilah. She just wants to show off her gingerbread man bandana. Festive af. 12/10 thanks for the mlemories
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december 2017
Twitter
This is Bud. He decided to get his human a card this year. Picked it out himself. Really hopes you like it. 13/10 i…
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december 2017
Twitter
Meet Bella and Hank. They have a commensal relationship in which Bella benefits and Hank neither benefits nor is ha…
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december 2017
Twitter
I’ve learned more about love from watching my dad reluctantly rearrange the living room so my mom can make snow ang…
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december 2017
Twitter
I bought 30 copies of James Baldwin’s THE FIRE NEXT TIME and I leave them in the train stations of wealthy wh…
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december 2017
Twitter
*Werner Herzog voice*

The drama lies not in the fact that the child sees her mother kissing Santa Claus, but in th…
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december 2017
Twitter
Reactions to Socks as a Christmas Gift by Calendar Age:

0-3: blurb nurg (eats socks)
4-12: oh, socks
13-18: (SIGH)…
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december 2017
Twitter
pittsburgh’s anarchist bookstore is good because it has a) lots of solid books, and b) printed out chelsea manning’…
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december 2017
(429) https://twitter.com/i/web/status/940799583608889345
Alabama has demonstrated that America is better than Trump, and better than House and Senate Republicans who have j…
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december 2017
Twitter
If we take away 1 more lesson from Alabama, it’s this: Dems can win in every district & state across the country. S…
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december 2017
Twitter
We can build a country that works for everyone, everywhere if we choose progress over fear. Tonight proves that. Co…
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december 2017
(429) https://twitter.com/i/web/status/940777309606424577
"African American voters, particularly women, are carrying the load for the Democratic Party." - on…
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december 2017
Twitter
If Black people save the day in Alabama, you’re not gonna be able to tell me *nothin’*, man.

I’m gonna go outside…
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december 2017
(429) https://twitter.com/kumailn/status/940638430157000707
I was touched by this story because Rian has always been this kind to me, as well. A FOR REAL GOOD DUDE.
from twitter_favs
december 2017
(429) https://twitter.com/Jordan_Morris/status/940374136966148096/photo/1
Jabbacado Toast is the reason millennials have stopped buying Rancor Pits.
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december 2017
(429) https://twitter.com/i/web/status/940326866430328832
President Trump should resign. But, of course, he won't hold himself accountable. Therefore, Congress should invest…
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december 2017
Twitter
When you wanna subtweet but also still seem sophisticated
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december 2017
Twitter
in one breath these people say all of roy moore’s accusers are liars who have been bought off, in the next they say…
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december 2017
Twitter
I’m investing in Bitcoin because what I’m looking for is the market volatility of Weimar Germany combined with the…
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december 2017
Twitter
As I’m running for Congress, I think about the introverts I’ve worked with in tech and how invaluable they’ve been.…
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december 2017
Twitter
Not the typical morning commute...
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december 2017
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