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Twitter
The future of comics and you can’t do a thing about it. ♥️
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yesterday
Twitter
As my book promotion could use a little scandal to raise my profile, I encourage everyone to dig up the unsavory th…
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yesterday
Twitter
I pet Lambeau. He is a 12 week old Shih Tzu, Poodle mix. Lambeau was adopted 2 weeks ago. Lambeau likes to play wit…
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yesterday
Twitter
Bfd. I do that to all our guests
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2 days ago
Twitter
Anyway. This one house. It wasn’t fox that was out. Everything was down cause the guy digging their pool cut the li…
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2 days ago
Twitter
When was doing cable I went to this house where Fox wasn’t working. The fox cult is notorious for being fucking dic…
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2 days ago
Twitter
if youre having girl problems i feel hopeful for you, son, this is a chance for you to look inward and reflect on h…
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3 days ago
Twitter
SEX WORK IS WORK

SEX WORKER’S RIGHTS ARE A FEMINIST ISSUE

SEX WORKER’S RIGHTS ARE A SOCIALIST ISSUE

IF YOU’RE NO…
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3 days ago
Twitter
If my husband turned into a lizard I would get a very nice terrarium and I'd sit with him and feed him tiny bits of…
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4 days ago
Twitter
🚨🚨 LIN AND I MADE A BOOK LIN AND I MADE A BOOK!!! 🚨🚨
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5 days ago
Twitter
Wait, so you're saying the National Rifle Association might have illegally cut a deal with an oppressive foreign go…
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5 days ago
Twitter
1988 me: will we ever be famous?

2018 me: I don’t like to brag but we will be the media’s first call to analyze w…
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6 days ago
Twitter
I’m on the verge of tears because the Goodyear Blimp got my pronouns
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7 days ago
Twitter
I pet Tucker. He is an older Pug. Tucker won’t follow any commands. He won’t even come for a treat, especially if i…
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7 days ago
Twitter
I pet Rudy. He is a 3 month old Pembroke Welsh Corgi. He likes to ride in his stroller. Rudy is very outspoken. He…
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8 days ago
Twitter
Rosenstein is going to announce he’s arresting the governor of Tennessee for stealing a horse from the Navy or some…
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9 days ago
Twitter
Here's what I want you to think about with Stormy Daniels being arrested.

They used a law which hasn't been used i…
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9 days ago
Twitter
I was supposed to pet Zsa Zsa on Saturday. My family and I send our condolences to Zsa Zsa’s family. I am very sad…
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11 days ago
(404) https://twitter.com/geoffrbennett/status/1016642192616706050
I don’t think this is what the Founders intended. But anyway, Happy Tuesday!
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12 days ago
Twitter
🚨 Nine week old pug named Rico just moved in nextdoor. 🚨
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12 days ago
Twitter
People really do sleep on this.
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12 days ago
Twitter
I pet Lucy. She is a 2 year old Chinese Shar Pei. Her caregivers did a lot of research before getting her so they c…
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12 days ago
Twitter
I THINK THAT IS AN IMPROVEMENT TO THE TABLE DARIO TBH
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12 days ago
Twitter
I’m always amazed how few people know about Gamergate. It’s not only the key to understanding so many…
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12 days ago
Twitter
This is Dario. He likes to chomp on tables. A common pupper move. Hopes you’ll forgive him, for his self control is…
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12 days ago
Twitter
When someone tells you you’re a good boy
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13 days ago
Twitter
[your car is stolen]

COPS: We’ll see what we can do, but in all honesty most cases like this go unresolved. We jus…
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15 days ago
Twitter
I have a movie that’s out today. It’s called ANT-MAN AND THE WASP. I’d love it if you went to see it. I think you w…
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16 days ago
Twitter
I'm sure everyone has favorite YouTube clips they watch when they're trying to escape the news for a minute. For In…
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17 days ago
Twitter
I pet Koda. She is a 1 year old Husky, German Shepherd mix. She is on Instagram She loves t…
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21 days ago
Koda Ruth Tower Rissi (@justabasicwhitedog) • Instagram photos and videos
I pet Koda. She is a 1 year old Husky, German Shepherd mix. She is on Instagram She loves t…
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21 days ago
Twitter
I pet Ajax. He is a 2 year old Terrier mix. He tears apart all of his rubber squeaky toys, but he loves to catch a…
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23 days ago
Twitter
It's weird that people who have written code that many people got value from and learned from and that made employe…
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23 days ago
Twitter
unreasonable to respond to this with this, right?
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24 days ago
Twitter
Meet Molly. She definitely was not eating the leaves. Unsure why you think she was. 13/10 I believe her
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24 days ago
Twitter
Just FYI, when you’ve snarked about “latinx”, it doesn’t read as light sarcasm, it comes across far more…
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25 days ago
Twitter
This is Frankie. He made a new friend and was wondering if they could have a sleepover. 12/10 for both but lights o…
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4 weeks ago
Twitter
Pop Rocket is officially ready to burst your Bubble!

and join and…
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4 weeks ago
Twitter
WE FOUND HIS OWNER! THE PUP’S NAME IS PEPPER AND HE’S 15 YEARS OLD! HAPPY ENDING TO THE WAYWARD CORGI STORY
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4 weeks ago
Twitter
❗️CORGI FOUND❗️

Bendview Rd.
Charleston, WV

We had bad storms last night and it’s clear he was out in them for qu…
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4 weeks ago
Twitter
My four-year-old really GETS me.
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5 weeks ago
Twitter
At this point I think Trump could issue shoot to kill orders at the border and maintain congressional support. McCa…
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5 weeks ago
Twitter
Ripley: I was attacked by an alien.
Men: How do we know you’re not just saying this to get attention?
Ripley: It mu…
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5 weeks ago
Twitter
Hi everyone. I’m a 40-something white dude with heavy nerd influences! And my thoughts on Chris Hardwick ...

... d…
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5 weeks ago
Twitter
Here's a take for you:

I loved Chris Hardwick. I loved his comedy, I loved his shows. I got off my ass to pursue c…
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5 weeks ago
Twitter
u want to see a real fuckin horror show go visit your child internment camp u fuck
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5 weeks ago
Twitter
My BFF had a friend who was so freaked out watching The Blair Witch Project that he went home, drew the curtains, a…
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5 weeks ago
Twitter
In today’s episode of “The World is Going to Shit, So Here’s a Pic of My Dog”, Arturo is (surprisingly) pumped abou…
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5 weeks ago
Twitter
This is Simba. He graduated beginner’s training class today. Good boy levels off the h*ckin charts. 14/10 would con…
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5 weeks ago
Twitter
Make wide pant legs on men’s suits great again
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5 weeks ago
Twitter
If you didn't get to go to SXSW and see the panels, I did a roundup piece for all the women's panels. All the audio…
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5 weeks ago
Twitter
This is true. You can hear , & I riff on 's new name, the latest tariff news AND how…
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6 weeks ago
Twitter
It's hard to parse it that way nowadays, but that's where "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" came from.

I mean, that i…
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6 weeks ago
Twitter
Bourdain: 'In nearly 30 years of cooking professionally, just about every time I walked into a new kitchen, it was…
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6 weeks ago
Twitter
this is the only andy warhol art i like
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6 weeks ago
Twitter
The deaths of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain this week are a reminder to be kind to everyone as much as we can, be…
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6 weeks ago
Twitter
If you see an unlocked computer, press WIN+L and lock it for your coworkers security!

(Note: This works on Linux c…
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6 weeks ago
Twitter
President Obama and Anthony Bourdain enjoy dinner and beer in Hanoi.

Fun fact: This restaurant in Vietnam was so h…
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6 weeks ago
Twitter
RIP to the most legendary and one-of-a-kind, Anthony Bourdain 🙏🏼
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6 weeks ago
Twitter
Maybe the can come to this guy’s defense?
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6 weeks ago
Twitter
Can we please stop measuring people by the content of their GitHub profile already. So many people work at places…
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6 weeks ago
Twitter
This is Poppy. She’s doing her best.13/10 hopes you’re proud of her
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6 weeks ago
Twitter
“Last month’s AWS bill was... how much?”

Oil on canvas, circa 1620s.
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6 weeks ago
Twitter
This is Yeti. He went hat shopping today. Found one he loves. Puppared to block you and the sun if you don’t like i…
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6 weeks ago
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