robertogreco + etiquette   202

25 small ways to make SF a better place - Curbed SF
"When it comes to making change at the local level, sometimes the tiniest actions can spark the biggest changes—and in San Francisco, where the options for helping the greater good can seem overwhelming, starting with small daily tasks is the best place to start. As more wealth pours into the city and the economic divide grows wider than ever before, it’s important to help out your fellow San Franciscan, zip code and tax bracket be damned.

For San Franciscans looking to make their hometown a better place, we present these small, but substantial, ways that you can help make a difference.

From your home

1. Stay informed about local news. It’s hard not to be aware of national news these days, but to get a sense of what’s changing in your immediate surroundings, soak in some local news by making local papers and blogs a part of your daily media diet. The San Francisco Chronicle is, of course, important, but other SF outlets can help you stay informed—from hyperlocal blogs (Richmond SF Blog, Mission Local, etc.) to established sources (Hoodline, San Francisco Magazine, etc.) and even more. Oh, and don’t forget Curbed SF.

2. Compost. Don’t believe the malodorous lies! Composting is easy and a great way of helping the environment from your kitchen. If your building or home does not yet have a green composting bin, the city will send you one free of charge.

3. Follow these pro-housing advocates and journalists on Twitter: Kim-Mai Cutler, Liam Dillon, Victoria Fierce, SF YIMBY, Laura Foote Clark, and YIMBY Action will keep you abreast of both anti-growth hypocrisy and action items that will help abate the California housing crisis.

4. Remember reusable bags. They’re easy to compile, but difficult to remember once you’re at Whole Foods. The cost of plastic and paper bags, both environmental and economical, are too much to bear. Stick a few reusable bags by your front door so you remember to bring them to your next shopping trip.

5. Donate, don’t discard, your old clothes. For those of you who simply cannot bear the thought of wearing last year’s jeans (perish the thought!) or want to whittle down your wardrobe to a minimalist offering, don’t trash your old clothes. Shelters like the St. Anthony Foundation can redistribute clean clothing to homeless San Franciscans. If you have professional women’s attire to toss, consider give them to Dress for Success. And Larkin Street Youth accepts gently worn clothing for at-risk, runaway youths.

In your neighborhood

6. Learn about your neighborhood’s history. Did you know the Castro used to be an Irish-American working-class neighborhood? Or that South of Market used the be called South of the Slot, which later became a novella by Nobel Prize-winning scribe Jack London? And who knew that Presidio Terrace was originally designed as a whites-only neighborhood? Take a deep dive into your neighborhood’s past, good and bad. After all, the city isn’t a blank slate.

7. Donate old books. Grab a handful (or trunkload) of books from your home library and add some inventory to the nearest Little Free Library. There are dozens in San Francisco and hundreds in the Bay Area. If you’d rather donate to the library, take your books to the Friends of the San Francisco Public Library. It’s a tax write-off!

8. Take care of a neighbor’s pet at PAWS. For some people, especially those who are chronically ill, frail, and isolated by disease or age, animal companionship is crucial to their health and well-being. Volunteer with PAWS (Pets Are Wonderful Support) to get paired one-on-one with members of the community (who may be LGBT seniors or people living with HIV, Hepatitis C, or cancer) who need help caring for their pet. Ideal for animal lovers with no-pet rental agreements!

9. Attend neighborhood meetings. The best way to find out about what’s up in your neighborhood is to attend public meetings organized each month by your local community association. Here’s a good place to start.

10. Wave to tourists when they pass you on cable cars or tour buses. They freakin’ love that.

Along your route

11. Take public transit. It’s the best way to get to know your city. Learn Muni and BART routes along your most-traveled roads and hop on. And you’d be surprised how convenient the cable cars and F lines are.

12. Put foot to pedal. San Francisco is one of the most bike-friendly cities in the country. Here’s a beginner’s guide to help you get started.

13. Be kind to the homeless. It’s going to take great leaps and bounds from the city to solve its chronic homeless problem. In the meantime, there are small things that you can do to empower those who need help. For starters, remember that people become homeless for a number of reasons—so leave the stereotyping or judgmental attitudes behind.

14. Document your city. One of the best ways to get to know the city is to shooting photos. Better yet, post them on Instagram. You will discover thousands of photographers also share your love of the city’s many neighborhoods. It’s a great way of take a closer look at your hood and getting to know your neighbors. Just don’t forget to geotag.

15. Be a conscientious pedestrian. From moving over to the right when using your phone to helping fellow pedestrians with strollers, there are a lot of ways to improve your two-foot mode of transportation around town. Because it’s 2018 and there’s no excuse for blocking a sidewalk. Here’s a pedestrian etiquette guide to help sharpen your two-step game.

In your community

16. Say hello to people/ask people how they’re doing. San Francisco can feel like a big small town, and its residents know it. If you’re walking around a neighborhood, or stopping into a local store, say, “Hello.” Stop being rude to service industry workers. Do not order with your phone attached to your ear. It’s dehumanizing. Be friendly.

17. Be a poll worker on election day. Looking for a way to up your voting game? Become a poll worker. It takes roughly 3,000 workers on election day to bets all the ballots processed. And with this upcoming June election being a crucial one, the city could use your help. (Psst, you will also get a $195 stipend.)

18. Fight hunger in the community. The uptick in foodie trends and prices have made nourishment seem like a privilege for the lucky and well-to-do. Not so. People are still starving in the city. Get involved with groups like San Francisco Food Bank, GLIDE Church, and Project Open Hand to make sure everyone in the community has food on the table.

19. Volunteer with the San Francisco Office of Civic Engagement and Immigrant Affairs. The department’s Pathways to Citizenship Initiative program always needs volunteers, interpreters, and legal professionals to assist with their bi-monthly naturalization workshops.

20. Get off Nextdoor. Beginning with good intentions, Nextdoor has turned into a cesspool of racism and bigotry for a lot of San Francisco residents.

With a group

21. Hook up with the Friends of the Urban Forest. See how you can help add foliage to San Francisco’s streets with this choice nonprofit. They organize everything from neighborhood tree plantings to sidewalk landscaping.

22. Dedicate your time to volunteering at one of the two Friends of the San Francisco Public Library bookstores. All proceeds benefit the public library system in San Francisco.

23. Host a letter-writing party. Written letters get more traction than email or @’ing your local lawmaker. If there’s an issue you feel strongly about, it’s more than likely you’re not the only one, and a letter-writing party is a great way to organize your community for a positive cause. Best of all, you can add a few bottles of wine and turn it into a real party.

24. Volunteer at Animal Care and Control. ACC receives roughly 10,000 animals every year and rely on volunteers to help out. These pets don’t get the luxe treatment found at nearly SF SPCA, so they could use all the love they deserve.

25. Show up. When people come together—especially in times of great need—they can do amazing things. This was especially true during the AIDS crisis and of the moments following the Loma Prieta earthquake. Go to protests. Attend rallies. Fight for others’ rights. Relish the fact that you live in a city that, in one way or another, however dim it seems at times, seeks for the betterment of all humans."
classideas  sanfrancisco  civics  community  activism  engagement  pedestrians  2018  etiquette  publictransit  transportation  bikes  biking  nextdoor  volunteering  animals  pets  nature  trees  protests  friendliness  elections  neighborhoods  environment  composting  recycling 
january 2018 by robertogreco
Rule of Three and other ideas
"and other handy thoughts: so many folks have asked me for a "quick start" set of rules for the design of 3rd Millennium learning spaces...
... this Rule of Three section and some of the other ideas here (see top of this page), have all been well received in conferences, seminars and most importantly adopted / shared with success by practitioners. These are proven, working ideas, so I thought it was time to park some of them on a web page:

***

rule of three - physical

I guess rule one is really that there is no absolutely right way to make learning better - schools are all different, their communities, contexts vary and as I have often observed on a windy day they become different places again. So you build your local recipe for great learning from the trusted and tested ingredients of others, adding a bit of local flair too. But this rule of three helps:

one: never more than three walls

two: no fewer than three points of focus

three: always able to accommodate at least three teachers, three activities (for the larger spaces three full "classes" too)

make no mistake - this is not a plea for those ghastly open plan spaces of the 1960s with their thermoplastic floors under high alumina concrete beams - with the consequent cacophony that deafened their teachers. Today's third millennium learning spaces are multi-faceted, agile (and thus easily re-configured by users as they use them), but allow all effective teaching and learning approaches, now and in the future, to be incorporated: collaborative work, mentoring, one-on-one, quiet reading, presentation, large group team taught groups... and more.

***

rule of three - pedagogic

one: ask three then me

A simple way to encourage peer support, especially in a larger mixed age, stage not age space, but it even works fine in a small 'traditional" closed single class classroom. Put simply the students should ask 3 of their peers before approaching the teacher for help. I've watched, amused in classes where a student approaches the teacher who simply holds up 3 fingers, with a quizzical expression and the student paused, turned and looked for help for her peers first. Works on so many levels...

two: three heads are better than one

Everyone engaging in team teaching reports that, once you get over the trust-wall of being confident that your colleagues will do their bit (see Superclasses) the experience of working with others, the professional gains, and the reduction in workloads are real and worthwhile. You really do learn rapidly from other teachers, the children's behaviour defaults to the expectations of the teacher in the room with the highest expectations, and so on. Remarkably schools especially report on the rapid progress of newly qualified teachers who move forward so quickly that people forget they are still NQTs. And older teachers at career end become rejuvenated by a heady mix of new ideas and of self esteem as they see that their "teaching craft" skills are valued and valuable.

three: three periods a day or fewer

Particularly in 2ndary schools a fragmented timetable of 5 or 6 lessons a day wastes so much time stopping and starting. Children arrive and spend, say, 3 minutes getting unpacked, briefed and started, then end 2 minutes before the "bell" and have 5 minutes travelling time between classes. On a 5 period day that is (3+2+5) x 5 = 50 minutes "lost" each day, 50 x 5 = 250 lost each week, which is effectively throwing away a day a week. Longer blocks, immersion can be solid blocks of a day of more, some schools even adopt a week, gets students truly engaged - and serves as a clear barrier to Dick Turpin teaching ("Stand and Deliver!") - which simply cannot be sustained for long blocks of time - thank goodness. This doesn't mean that the occasional "rapid fire" day (a bit like pedagogic Speed Dating!) can't be used to add variety. But longer blocks of time work better mainly.

***

rule of three - BYOD / UMOD

some schools adopting Bring Your Own Device (BYOD), or more recently Use My Own Device (UMOD - somehow, bringing them wasn't enough!) initially adopted really comprehensive "acceptable use policies" - bulging folders of policy that were neither understood nor adhered too (see for example the "sacrificial phones" mention under "What young people say" in the 2011 Nominet funded Cloudlearn research project).

Today though (2015) schools around the world, from Scandinavia to Australasia, are simpifying all this by three simple rules.

one: phones out, on the desk, screen up

Not everyone has a "desk" anymore of course, but the point here is that a device hidden under a work surface is more likely to be a problem than one on the worksurface, screen up. This makes it quick and easy to use, where appropriate, and simple to monitor by teachers or peers.

two: if you bring it, be prepared to share sometimes

This is more complex that it looks. Obviously handing your phone or tablet over to just anyone isn't going to happen, but the expectation that friends, or project collaborators, might simply pick up "your" device and chat to Siri, Google for resources, or whatever, means that bullying, inappropriate texts / images, or general misdemeanours are always likely to be discovered. Transparency is your friend here, secrecy masks mischief - and the expectation of occasional sharing is transparency enough. It also helps students develop simply safety / security habits - like logging out of social media to prevent Frapping or similar.

three: if you bring it, the school might notice and respond positively

If you've brought your own device along, the least you might expect is that the school gives you useful things to do, that you could not otherwise do, or couldn't do so well, without that device.

This requires a bit of imagination all round! A simple example would be the many schools that now do outdoor maths project tasks using the devices GPS trace capability (the device is sealed in a box during the excercise) like the children below tasked with drawing a Christmas tree on the park next to their school: estimating skills, geometry, measurement, scale, collaboration.... and really jolly hard to do with a pencil!

[image of a GPS traced tree]

***

knowing the 3rd millennium ABCs

A

ambition: how good might your children be?

agility: how quickly can we reconfigure to catch the wave - at a moment, only over a year, or at best across a generation?

astonishment: we want people to be astonished by what these children, and teachers, might achieve - how do we showcase this? how do we respond to it ourselves?

B

brave: what are others doing, what tested ideas can we borrow, how can we feed our own ideas to others? Brave is not foolhardy or reckless!

breadth: learning reaches out to who? embraces what? what support do you give for your school's grandparents for example?

blockers: you will need help with beating the blockers - if you run at the front, you need resources that win arguments: what is the evidence that...? why doesn't everyone do this...? where can I see it in action...? why should I change, ever...? all this exists of course (see top of page for example), but you need to organise it and be ready with it. A direct example is this workshop manual we developed for the new science spaces at Perth's Wesley College in Australia.

C

collegiality: that sense of belonging, of us-ness, sense of family, sharing, co-exploring, research. Also a sense of us (the team working on this innovation) being learners too - and able to show that we are trying cool stuff too - you won't win hearts and minds by saying but not doing;

communication: how does a learning space / building communicate what happens within? and this is about symmetry: how does the school listen to what happens outside school? how do we share and exchange all this with others?

collaboration: we don't want to be told, but we want to do this with others. How do we share what we learn as we do it? Who do we share with? How do we learn from them?"
tcsnmy  lcproject  openstudioproject  edtech  technology  schooldesign  stephenheppell  via:sebastienmarion  pedagogy  howweteach  howwelearn  education  teaching  learning  schools  collaboration  byod  umod  sharing  ambition  agility  astonishment  bravery  breadth  blockers  collegiality  communication  simplicity  mobile  phones  desks  furniture  computers  laptops  etiquette  conviviality  scheduling  teams  interdependence  canon  sfsh 
march 2016 by robertogreco
The "Best" E-mail Signature Is Actually the Worst - Bloomberg Business
"So if not best, then what?
Nothing. Don’t sign off at all. With the rise of Slack and other office chatting software, e-mail has begun functioning more like instant messaging anyway. “Texting has made e-mail even more informal than it is,” Pachter says. In conversations with people we know, complimentary closings have started to disappear. Tacking a best onto the end of an e-mail can read as archaic, like a mom-style voice mail. Signoffs interrupt the flow of a conversation, anyway, and that’s what e-mail is. “When you put the closing, it feels disingenuous or self-conscious each time,” Danzico argues. “It’s not reflective of the normal way we have conversation.” She ends all her e-mails, including professional ones, with the period on the last sentence—no signoff, no name, just a blank white screen."
email  etiquette  writing  conventions  2015 
june 2015 by robertogreco
A Manners Manifesto - NYTimes.com
"In the democratic present, perhaps the way to distinguish useful etiquette from frippery is to discern which rules help us be good rather than seem good. Serving others first is plainly charitable. Filling companions’ glasses, waiting to eat, giving another the last of the stew, chewing with a closed mouth — each is a basic acknowledgment of togetherness. Perhaps the consequential lesson in the matter of holding your fork, etc., is that customs differ at different tables in different lands, and that there is a certain intelligence in doing as is done. In other words, whatever unites merits keeping, and what divides can be folded and stored away with the linen too old and ornamental to use.

For all that my manners have brought me, including being able to express wordless gratitude at dozens of tables where I could contribute little more, the lesson that best suited me for society may be how our father dressed for dinner. He resolutely donned a hideous pair of patchwork pants whenever we had guests, so that no guest would feel underdressed. Miss Manners recounts that Queen Victoria, at a state dinner, lifted up her finger bowl and drank from it: “She had to. Her guest of honor, the Shah of Persia, had done it first.” The story is told elsewhere with different aristocratic protagonists. The message is the same. True courtesy will instinctively check faddish manners at the door in the interest of kindness — which is the root from which the entire family tree of courteous behavior, from the noble Egyptian’s papyrus on, has sprung."
manners  kindness  etiquette  2015  tamaradler  courtesy  behavior  eating 
march 2015 by robertogreco
How To Talk To Girls On Twitter Without Coming Off Like A Creepy Rando
"Don't make our own jokes back at us, or explain them to us. This one should hopefully be easy. When you are about to add on to a woman's joke, just take a second and really think (at about the speed indicated by the ellipses, to give you plenty of time to really mull it over): "Is it possible ... that ... what I am about to say ... is exactly the joke ... SHE was making?" Look deep into your heart. If it is possible, err on the side of not making the joke. I promise that everyone will be okay without it. (Check out the replies to this joke for a very meta example of this phenomenon.)

Don't be a pedant. Before you hit her with the #actually (highly useful terminology care of Desus), consider again: Is it possible she was making a joke? Joke-making by women has been legal for years, and many of us have gotten very good at it. Okay, so you've considered it, and it definitely wasn't a joke, it was just a factual error. Was it a truly harmful error? Then definitely, go ahead and correct it! But did she just imply that Tarantino directed True Romance, when really he just wrote the screenplay? Oh, buddy. I know it feels pretty awesome to correct people, and scratches what feels like a very urgent itch, but the same is true for jerking off, and we just don't do that in public. Chances are someone has already told her, and if they haven't, that's still okay. Really!

Don't be a mentions pest. Almost any woman with a fair number of followers will know what I'm talking about here: someone who you don't follow but who @'s you all the time with innocuous but inane comments or questions, nothing so out of line that you'd feel justified telling them to fuck off, but constantly making little demands on your attention. It's surprisingly exhausting! Social cues exist on Twitter, too, mostly in the form of faving or replying. If you're making a lot of little jokes in her mentions and she's not even pity-faving them, I'm so sorry, but you're probably being a mentions pest. Maybe chill a little.

Don't derail and make it about you. Yes, we know, not ALL men. You, personally, would never. Is that really, truly what's important here, though?

Don't imitate bad dudes in our mentions. This one is really specific, but it's also shockingly common. Like, when we're like, "Ugh, another strange dude frickin' told me to smile today," some dude will @ us all jokingly like, "Durrr but you're so much prettier when you smile!!!" First of all, if we don't know you, why would we instinctively get that you're joking when it matches actual things that actual dudes say to us? Even if we do get that you're joking—even if you're a friend—I hope you can imagine that it doesn't seem to us to be the funniest, most original joke we've ever heard. Instead, it comes off as a self-serving gesture to cast yourself as "one of the good ones" who "gets it." But adding on to the endless chorus of dudes who say wack shit to us, even in jest, is just not the move.

Faving is almost always cool. Ditto thank-yous, expressions of sympathy, non-gross compliments, answers to actual questions, and pictures of cute animals. (One exception to "faving is cool": If you see girls talking amongst themselves about sex or their bodies or something, don't fav that. We know you can see it, the same way we know you can overhear us in public, but it's like if we were having the conversation at a coffee shop and you winked at us. Eww.)

It's probably cool if you want to defend us from trolls, but keep us out of it. If someone is harassing us and you want to tell them about themselves, thank you, that's super sweet. But take our handle out of your reply to them so we don't have to keep seeing it in our mentions. And try to be thoughtful about not drawing our attention to trolls unnecessarily, or drawing their fire to us.

If someone tells you that you're being weird or annoying or creepy, say sorry and cut it out. It doesn't matter if she's being way harsh about it, or that you're a super-awesome dude and didn't mean it that way—literally the only cool move when someone enforces their boundaries is to respect them, apologize, and back off. Even if you weren't being a creep before, a really easy way to make yourself one is to stick around after someone's made it clear that they want you to leave them alone, even if it was for what you think is a bullshit reason.

If you don't know each other, maybe just don't @ her. This one is going to make dudes mad, I think, but like ... what if you just didn't? Would you die? Maybe think about why you feel entitled to have a stranger listen to your thoughts at all? This isn't a perfect analogy, but a good rule of thumb is to treat the mentions of someone who doesn't follow you back (i.e. someone who hasn't explicitly consented to listen to you) like you're asking her to take out her earbuds on the bus. (Here's a bonus article-within-an-article, by the way, entitled "How To Talk To Women On Public Transportation": Oh gosh please just don't.) Is what you have to say funny or interesting enough that you'd feel good about saying it to her while she looks at you blankly, earbuds dangling? Listen, I'm just urging you to consider the alternative path of not @'ing her whenever you're about to @ her. You may find that it suits you, and sorry, but there's a good chance it'd suit us, too."
gender  socialmnetworks  sociamedia  twitter  etiquette  culture  2015  lilybenson  howto  tutorials  favoriting 
february 2015 by robertogreco
How to Be Polite — The Message — Medium
"But no matter. What I found most appealing was the way that the practice of etiquette let you draw a protective circle around yourself and your emotions. By following the strictures in the book, you could drag yourself through a terrible situation and when it was all over, you could throw your white gloves in the dirty laundry hamper and move on with your life. I figured there was a big world out there and etiquette was going to come in handy along the way."



"Here’s a polite person’s trick, one that has never failed me. I will share it with you because I like and respect you, and it is clear to me that you’ll know how to apply it wisely: When you are at a party and are thrust into conversation with someone, see how long you can hold off before talking about what they do for a living. And when that painful lull arrives, be the master of it. I have come to revel in that agonizing first pause, because I know that I can push a conversation through. Just ask the other person what they do, and right after they tell you, say: “Wow. That sounds hard.”

Because nearly everyone in the world believes their job to be difficult. I once went to a party and met a very beautiful woman whose job was to help celebrities wear Harry Winston jewelry. I could tell that she was disappointed to be introduced to this rumpled giant in an off-brand shirt, but when I told her that her job sounded difficult to me she brightened and spoke for 30 straight minutes about sapphires and Jessica Simpson. She kept touching me as she talked. I forgave her for that. I didn’t reveal a single detail about myself, including my name. Eventually someone pulled me back into the party. The celebrity jewelry coordinator smiled and grabbed my hand and said, “I like you!” She seemed so relieved to have unburdened herself. I counted it as a great accomplishment. Maybe a hundred times since I’ve said, “wow, that sounds hard” to a stranger, always to great effect. I stay home with my kids and have no life left to me, so take this party trick, my gift to you.

A friend and I came up with a game called Raconteur. You pair up with another Raconteur at a party and talk to everyone you can. You score points by getting people to disclose something about their lives. If you dominate the conversation, you lose a point. The two raconteurs communicate using hand signals and keep a tally on a sheet of paper or in their minds. You’d think people would notice but they are so amused by the attention that the fact you’re playing Raconteur escapes their attention."



"But a whole class of problems goes away from my life because I see people as having around them a two or three foot invisible buffer. If there is a stray hair on their jacket I ask them if I can pluck it from them. If they don’t want that, they’ll do it themselves. If their name is now Susan, it’s Susan. Whatever happens inside that buffer is entirely up to them. It has nothing to do with me."



"Politeness buys you time. It leaves doors open. I’ve met so many people whom, if I had trusted my first impressions, I would never have wanted to meet again. And yet — many of them are now great friends. I have only very rarely touched their hair.

One of those people is my wife. On our first date, we went to a nice bar with blue tables and, in the regular course of conversation she told me at length about the removal of a dermoid teratoma from her ovaries. This is a cyst with teeth (not a metaphor). I had gone in expecting to flirt but instead I learned about the surgical removal of a fist-sized mutant mass of hair and teeth from her sexual parts. This killed the chemistry. I walked her home, told her I had a great time, and went home and looked up cysts on the Internet, always a nice end to an evening. We talked a little after that. I kept everything pleasant and brief. A year later I ran into her on the train and we got another drink. Much later I learned that she’d been having a very bad day in a very bad year.

Sometimes I’ll get a call or email from someone five years after the last contact and I’ll think, oh right, I hated that person. But they would never have known, of course. Let’s see if I still hate them. Very often I find that I don’t. Or that I hated them for a dumb reason. Or that they were having a bad day. Or much more likely, that I had been having a bad day.

People silently struggle from all kinds of terrible things. They suffer from depression, ambition, substance abuse, and pretension. They suffer from family tragedy, Ivy-League educations, and self-loathing. They suffer from failing marriages, physical pain, and publishing. The good thing about politeness is that you can treat these people exactly the same. And then wait to see what happens. You don’t have to have an opinion. You don’t need to make a judgment. I know that doesn’t sound like liberation, because we live and work in an opinion-based economy. But it is. Not having an opinion means not having an obligation. And not being obligated is one of the sweetest of life’s riches.

There is one other aspect of my politeness that I am reluctant to mention. But I will. I am often consumed with a sense of overwhelming love and empathy. I look at the other person and am overwhelmed with joy. For all of my irony I really do want to know about the process of hanging jewelry from celebrities. What does the jewelry feel like in your hand? What do the celebrities feel like in your hand? Which one is more smooth?

This is not a world where you can simply express love for other people, where you can praise them. Perhaps it should be. But it’s not. I’ve found that people will fear your enthusiasm and warmth, and wait to hear the price. Which is fair. We’ve all been drawn into someone’s love only to find out that we couldn’t afford it. A little distance buys everyone time.

Last week my wife came back from the playground. She told me that my two-year-old, three-foot-tall son, Abraham, walked up to a woman in hijab and asked “What’s your name?” The woman told him her name. Then he put out his little hand and said, “Nice to meet you!” Everyone laughed, and he smiled. He shared with her his firmest handshake, like I taught him."
etiquette  paulford  2014  listening  politeness  behavior  social  cv  canon  understanding  people  apologies  patience  love  empathy  socializing  relationships  secondchances  interestedness  silence  interested 
august 2014 by robertogreco
coffee shop best practices for the transient info-worker | THE STATE
"While the coffee shop is generally an accepted place in which to set up one’s laptop and get to work, there is a bit of social obscurity to this exchange, and some aspects of the everyday capitalist potlatch through which one must navigate. Coffee shops are still interpreted by society at large as a place for buying and selling coffee, and to utilize one as a workspace requires some knowledge and skilled negotiation of certain grey market operations coursing just underneath the surface of the associated caffeination industries.

Due to bad negotiation of these market niceties on the part of info-workers attempting to use these facilities, some coffee shops have launched a backlash against their perception as a workspace. Particularly in places like the cutthroat capitalist region of San Francisco, coffee shops have disconnected their Wifi entirely, and in some places, done away with tables altogether in an effort to disband the info-working classes that have attached themselves to their services like a lamphrey to the belly of a whale—sucking up their data, energy, and seating space without contributing anything in return. They believe they can make more money without these parasites attached. Make no mistake, renting a table from a coffee shop is a market exchange in which a service is being exchanged for a price. But it is a market with an unspoken lack of definition. To attempt to abuse this lack of definition is to crush its weak structure, and make our presence pathological. Therefore, if computer users of the world wish this grey market to perpetuate, there are certain rules of its functioning by which we must abide.

General Principle: the transient workspace can only exist as long as the coffee shop continues to exist.



Rule One: pay for your time.



Rule Two: decide upon your rate.



Rule Three: consider your footprint.



Rule Four: consider your psychological impact.



"The difficulty with being a transient info-worker is that you cannot rely upon coffee shops in the way that one might rely on a rented office space or one’s home. This economy is by nature a precarious one. You are relying upon what is available unless you pay the premium to reserve a dedicated co-working space, which requires the sort of economic investment that many of us cannot make. This puts us in a delicate position. We do not owe anything to the coffee shops where we do our daily work, and yet, we are reliant upon their continued existence. We cannot afford the guaranteed service of a real customer, nor the part-ownership of a co-op member. Given our inability to play on the level of a dedicated, contractual customer, we must negotiate this grey market. These rules, therefore, do not take the form of ethical imperative, but instead, best practices and the optimist spirit of the opportunist, not the pessimistic spirit of the parasite. These rules are not fixed, but will no doubt shift as the markets we are forced to live within also shift, taking our daily existence with them."
coffeeshops  neo-nomads  infoworkers  coworking  etiquette  2014  adamrothstein  capitalism 
june 2014 by robertogreco
Urge of the Letter: Social media surely change identity performance....
"Often, the critique of device dependence in connected life today turns on forms of etiquette that emerge or change in the context of technology. Sherry Turkle is perhaps the best-known and most grounded of such critics—and yet I often find myself wondering whether she gets the moral and psychological import of such social forms precisely backward. “I talk to young people about etiquette when they go out to dinner,” she writes in a recent op-ed, “and they explain to me that when in a group of, say, seven, they make sure that at least three people are ‘heads up’ in the ‘talking’ conversation at any one time.” For Turkle, this is evidence of how “[t]echnology doesn’t just do things for us. It does things to us, changing not just what we do but who we are.” But isn’t this evidence instead of our social malleability and adaptability, our capacity for incorporating devices and signals into new modes of address? And as Jurgenson points out in the quote above, it isn’t as though devices arrived in the midst of a sociable utopia of autonomous persons engaged in exchanges of authenticity—for we humans always have deployed rituals and discursive forms to discipline, mediate, and construct social selves.

On the other hand, I’m reminded of Bruce Sterling’s observations about disconnection, in which device-independence becomes a kind of luxury practice akin to boutique poultry farming and meditation retreats—an indulgence of those wealthy enough to afford assistance in human form, or can avoid those dependencies of work, social, and civic life that increasingly require us to maintain our tech-mediated connectivity. Devices can make us susceptible to surveillance and control in insidious and comprehensive ways. It’s important to remember, however, that such control is not a thing technology does to us out of some inherent hegemonic impulse, but the result of choices we make about its design and use."
2014  matthewbattles  digitaldualism  nathanjurgenson  sherryturkle  brucesterling  nuance  disconnection  socialmedia  identity  performance  etiquette  context  technology  morality  psychology  malleability  behavior  adaptability  society  social  mediation  discipline  connectivity  surveillance  control  design  choice 
january 2014 by robertogreco
Mind Games Forever – The New Inquiry
"Gamification in social media turns out to be no different from Berne’s head games. Both use quantification to generate incentives that can supplant the receding master motive of intimacy. But Berne, and the generation of readers that bought into him, believed that all the games had to go if we were ever going to face up to ourselves. Today, the social-media game lets us push one another to more and more self-expression, as though info dumps were an approach to truth. Our demands for attention are no longer tactfully oblique; they are explicitly instrumental. On social ­media passive aggressiveness can show itself as open and honest aggression. At last, we can do away with the inconvenient codes of etiquette. Grove Press’s valiant crusade against censorship hasn’t been for naught.

Social media are a broad refinement of the self-help scam, offering not just texts but an entire interactive apparatus that can incite anxiety about the self while pretending to assuage it. Games People Play, like all self-help books, lets us pretend that our problems (which stem from having to relate to others) are generic and thus readily fixable with off-the-shelf solutions, while our virtues (all our own sole responsibility) are totally unique, not imbricated with our vices at all. Social media carry this further: By replacing presence with networking, and spontaneous interaction with preformatted expression, they purport to resolve the generic problems that beset us in social life, leaving us with a space in which we can’t help but elaborate our best self, in as much detail as we can muster. What is supposed to be special about us is precisely that which doesn’t admit the influence of others but that we can impose on others without shame or restraint. In practice, what that means is there is nothing special about us, and we can never shut up about it."
gamification  socialmedia  robhorning  2013  self-help  scams  presence  networking  interaction  spontaneity  influence  attention  etiquette  grovepress  ericberne  society  community  censorship  compulsivity  psychology  poppsychology  socialrecognition  games 
june 2013 by robertogreco
How We're Turning Digital Natives Into Etiquette Sociopaths | Wired Opinion | Wired.com
"Now, about those thank-you notes. Yes, there’s a funny tendency for parents to make a big deal of these, like they’re telegraphing their own parenting skills. A critic might add that I’m just a Luddite who fetishizes handwriting, or who ignores how new media can convey authenticity. But others will recognize that I’m training pro-social behavior and the positive capacities it fosters, such as empathy.

And I do believe that heartfelt, authentic messages can be conveyed in many different mediums and technologies: attentive phone calls, customized digital cards with sentimental Photoshopped images, text messages with thoughtfully choreographed Vine videos, and personalized songs in mp3s are just a few examples. People should choose these and any other means as long as they’re not being quick and thoughtless. Otherwise, we’re sacrificing attention and care for the type of expediency that turns maintaining important relationships into mere to-do-list items.

At stake, then, is the idea that efficiency is the great equalizer. It turns every problem into a waste-reduction scenario, but its logic has a time and a place. Social relations are fundamentally hierarchical, and the primary way we acknowledge importance is through effort. Sending laconic thank-you texts to family treats them no differently than business associates."
etiquette  2013  attention  relationships  caring  time  efficiency  expediency  parenting  technology  social 
march 2013 by robertogreco
Gregory’s iPhone Contract | Janell Burley Hofmann [I don't agree with all of this list, but I do agree with the parts highlighted here.]
"Do not use…technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire.

Do not text, email, or say anything…you would not say in person.

…Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person—preferably me or your father.

Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially…while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.

…Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear – including a bad reputation.

…There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences…

Be bigger & more powerful than FOMO…

You will mess up… You & I…are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together."
fomo  howtobehave  behavior  attention  cybersapce  learning  etiquette  internet  mobilephones  2012  technology  advice  parenting  from delicious
january 2013 by robertogreco
The Quiet Ones - NYTimes.com
"In his recent treatise on this subject (its title regrettably unprintable here), the philosopher Aaron James posits that people with this personality type are so infuriating — even when the inconvenience they cause us is negligible — because they refuse to recognize the moral reality of those around them. (James’s thesis that this obliviousness correlates to a sense of special entitlement is corroborated by my own observation that the crowd on Amtrak, where airline-level fares act as a de facto class barrier, is generally louder and more inconsiderate than the supposed riffraff on the bus.) It’s a pathology that seems increasingly common, I suspect in part because people now spend so much time in the solipsist’s paradise of the Internet that they carry its illusion of invisible (and inaudible) omniscience back with them out into the real world."

"It’s impossible to be heard when your whole position is quiet now that all public discourse has become a shouting match."
publicspaces  sharedspace  consideration  society  attention  davidfosterwallace  listening  distraction  2012  trains  noise  etiquette  publicspace  amtrak  quietcar  slow  quiet  timkreider  from delicious
november 2012 by robertogreco
Lonely, but united: Sherry Turkle and Steven Johnson on technology's pain and promise | The Verge
"As the authors were offering their final points at the end of the Q&A;, Johnson hit on a metaphor that, for once, everyone could agree on: the city.

The city, like the internet, is noisy, distracting, overwhelming, and potentially isolating. But people choose the city for its stimulus and connection, says Johnson, "and for me technology is like that: I know the cost, but I choose it."

Turkle jotted down the metaphor on her notepad before responding:

"The best artists learned to find solitude in the middle of the metropolitan space," she said. And "we need to learn to find solitude in the technological space.""
paulmiller  etiquette  attention  tradeoffs  connection  stimulus  boredom  distraction  internet  cities  2012  stevenjohnson  sherryturkle  from delicious
october 2012 by robertogreco
Fear of Being Boring
"Perhaps the biggest surprise, though, was how friendly and talkative people were. Shopkeepers seemed genuinely pleased to see me and really tried to be helpful. Random strangers -- in shops, on trains, in the bank -- would talk to me about absolutely anything. You might say that people are always nice to tourists anywhere, but the Bay Area is such a multicultural place that I don't think these people even realised I was a tourist. Hell, some of them were asking me for directions.

People in the Bay Area were talkative, I think, because they weren't afraid of being boring."
socialnorms  etiquette  society  social  communication  bayarea  california  stephenbond  boring  boringness  interstingness 
september 2012 by robertogreco
Mobile Identity - Posts - Quora
"So, what is identity? I think in its most basic form, your identity is the product of how you manage your attention and others' access to that attention. Those areas where your attention is focused assemble to form a set of experiences that shape and influence where you'll direct future attention. But that attention is interrupted all the time by people, events, things, desires, boredom, weather, etc. and that process of interruption is, largely, contained to physical space because that is a natural gate on access.

Then there’s the phone. The “phone” part of the mobile phone is important not because of the voice communication it enables, but rather from the habit and etiquette that the ringing bell created in society and the direct access it grants to the caller. It’s the promise of instant communication at the cost of having attention interrupted and redirected…"

[Referenced here: http://snarkmarket.com/2012/7930 ]
permission  etiquette  interruption  availability  communication  phones  mobile  accessibility  access  attention  identity  2012  rebekahcox  from delicious
august 2012 by robertogreco
It is a generational thing, of course. The worst... - more than 95 theses
“It is a generational thing, of course. The worst offenders are teenagers – in terms of the group who are the most distracted because this is the generation who never knew life when it was “real”. They live in the continuous future. They have no experience of subtlety, nuance or considered responses – only of instant, illiterate and ill-considered ones. The gratification teens crave is not the warm smile of affection or the approving comment from another human, but the sense of achievement they gain from electronic validation. Emails, texts and updates pinging in reassure them they are alive and popular and abreast of rolling social news.”

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/9399954/Heres-how-to-outwit-the-smartphones.html

"So true. I remember what it was like back in my day: we teenagers then were masters of subtlety and nuance, and we considered every response most carefully. What a falling-off there has been to the little monsters that surround us now…"
offmydamnlawn  generations  generationalstrife  manners  etiquette  distraction  cellphones  mobilephones  2012  adolescents  teens  digitaldualism  alanjacobs  from delicious
july 2012 by robertogreco
BUS YOUR OWN TRAY — On the Virtue of Brevity in Email
"Long emails are, more frequently than not, the worst. When you send someone an email, you make a demand on their time. If you use more words than necessary, you waste their time. Sure we’re talking maybe a fraction of a minute, but given the number of emails the average person sends in a day those fractions add up pretty quick.

This conflicts with an older style of correspondence that associated pleasantries with tact. Tactful emails now are efficient, and pleasantries are a waste. People accustomed to pleasantries see their absence as rude, or a sign of being cross. They infer a tone that isn’t there, while people accustomed to brevity know how difficult it can be to ascertain tone from an email.

The efficient emailer often has to conform to the old style to assuage hurt feelings. This is just as terrible as the other thing, because it requires the sender to waste time and energy creating more words than necessary…"
etiquette  norms  texting  twitter  change  cultureshifts  brevity  2012  adamlisagor  siri  communication  email  ericspiegelman  from delicious
july 2012 by robertogreco
If your website's full of assholes, it's your fault - Anil Dash
"If you run a website, you need to follow these steps. if you don't, you're making the web, and the world, a worse place. And it's your fault…

You should have real humans dedicated to monitoring and responding to your community…

You should have community policies about what is and isn't acceptable behavior…

Your site should have accountable identities…

You should have the technology to easily identify and stop bad behaviors…

You should make a budget that supports having a good community, or you should find another line of work…"
community  management  behavior  socialmedia  etiquette  anildash  2011  from delicious
july 2011 by robertogreco
Proposed: A Critical Mass for bicyclists who follow the law - SignOnSanDiego.com
"This is a bicycle protest to show San Diego that bikes can share the roads and have the same right to be on the road. This is NOT Critical Mass, this is NOT a race, we will ride in a group and stay together by communicating with each other. Be ready to signal when you turn, stop at red lights to regroup and be polite. If we do stop traffic please wave in gratitude that they are being patient, if close enough say “Thank You” Let’s show SD that there are bikes out there that want respect and can dish it out. SD prove me right and let’s see if we can out number Critical Mass by killing cars with kindness."
criticalmass  courteousmass  criticalmanners  manners  etiquette  2011  sandiego  bikes  biking  activism  from delicious
july 2011 by robertogreco
Save Our Inboxes! Adopt the Email Charter!
"We're drowning in email. And the many hours we spend on it are generating ever more work for our friends and colleagues. We can reverse this "spiral only by mutual agreement. Hence this Charter..."
culture  writing  business  communication  email  emailcharter  2011  brevity  etiquette  from delicious
june 2011 by robertogreco
Jamie McKelvie - On reblogging
"Posting other people’s images without credit when you know who created it is not cool.

Reblogging the work of artists/photographers/writers & actively removing their credit is even worse.

The set-up of Tumblr encourages this somewhat - it’s easy to instantaneously reblog w/out giving much thought to where an image came from. And it seems to have led to the rise of a culture of people who just reblog things they think are cool as if to say “look how good my taste is”. Which, you know, that’s up to you, that’s fine, but consider this; each image you’re reblogging was created w/ love & time & hard work. The person who made it deserves to have their hand in its creation acknowledged and respected. If they’ve added some text along with the image, chances are because that is part of how they want to present the work…"
tumblr  etiquette  netiquette  attribution  coolness  reblogging  respect  howitshouldbedone  jamiemckelvie 
june 2011 by robertogreco
7. Conversation. Post, Emily. 1922. Etiquette
"A FEW MAXIMS FOR THOSE WHO TALK TOO MUCH—AND EASILY!

…faults of commission are far more serious than those of omission; regrets are seldom for what you left unsaid…The chatterer reveals every corner of his shallow mind; one who keeps silent can not have his depth plumbed.

Don’t pretend to know more than you do. To say you have read a book & then seemingly to understand nothing of what you have read, proves you a half-wit. Only the very small mind hesitates to say “I don’t know.”

Above all, stop & think what you are saying! This is the first, last & only rule. If you “stop” you can’t chatter or expound or flounder ceaselessly, & if you think, you will find a topic & manner of presenting your topic so that your neighbor will be interested rather than long-suffering.

Remember…the sympathetic (not apathetic) listener is the delight of delights…looks glad to see you…is seemingly eager for your news…enthralled w/ your conversation…gives you spontaneous & undivided attention…"

[via: http://berglondon.com/blog/2011/06/24/friday-links-believes-that-the-aliens-are-already-among-us/ ]
etiquette  conversation  listening  listeners  attention  social  howto  emilypost  talking  interpersonal  from delicious
june 2011 by robertogreco
Ahem! Are You Talking to Me? (Or Texting?) - NYTimes.com
"Powers…came away thinking he'd witnessed “a gigantic competition to see who can be more absent from the people & conversations happening right around them. Everyone in Austin was gazing into their little devices — a bit desperately, too, as if their lives depended on not missing the next tweet.”

In a phone conversation a few weeks afterward, Mr. Powers said that he is far from being a Luddite, but that he doesn’t “buy into the idea that digital natives can do both screen and eye contact.”

“They are not fully present because we are not built that way,” he said.

Where other people saw freedom — from desktop, from social convention, from boring guy in front of them — Mr. Powers saw “a kind of imprisonment.”

“There is a great deal of conformity under way, actually,” he added.

& therein lies the real problem. When someone you are trying to talk to ends up getting busy on a phone, the most natural response is not to scold, but to emulate. It’s mutually assured distraction."
williampowers  davidcarr  etiquette  mobile  phones  cellphones  attention  presence  human  distraction  twitter  sxsw  via:anthonyalbright  rudeness  from delicious
april 2011 by robertogreco
nickd: Airplane mode.
"Airplane mode is like picking up red phone to call on a superhero, only nobody is calling you…which is great, because I’m a total misanthrope…

If I go to a bar with somebody and I really want to pay attention to what they are saying – if I want to immerse myself in the conversation, their ideas, etc. – I will flip the phone on airplane mode. If the meeting is fleeting, like I just flew there and we only get one hour a year to catch up: always airplane mode.

I can’t remember the last time I ever used airplane mode on an actual airplane…manufacturers…should change the name of airplane mode to “interesting person mode.”

Then we’ll say goodbye & the interesting person will leave & I’ll probably be drunk & inspired a little more. I’ll turn airplane mode back off & get a series of increasingly pitched text messages from my friends…But nothing that went down couldn’t have waited those two hours, of course; & the attention I paid to them, to you, is what matters."
mobile  phones  cellphones  etiquette  airplanemode  attention  time  interested  interestingness  conversation  meaning  value  misanthropes  cv  listening  absorption  whatmatters  interestedness  from delicious
april 2011 by robertogreco
Practical Tips for Surviving Academic Life (Part One: The Early Years) - Brainstorm - The Chronicle of Higher Education
"2. Write down every idea you have, even if you suspect it might never be useful. Most won’t be, but some? Some will be more valuable than you might dream.

3. Contact people whose work you admire. Do this not to impress them, but instead to let them know them why you find their work important. Why not tell someone who you’re reading at the moment—someone whose work engages you on a serious level—that you’re enjoying (or at least provoked by) their research and perspective?…

4. Keep in touch with smart people and funny people. You’ll need them in your life no matter what they—or you—end up doing. Smart and funny people make even the worst day better. They are the best reward for survival.

5. Keep good notes. Keep track of the titles, authors, and dates of those books, articles, movies (or “films” if you’re that sort), songs, poems, art pieces, reviews—of anything that engages you—because otherwise you’ll spend ridiculous amounts of time trying to track them down."
learning  networkedlearning  networking  notetaking  cv  academia  via:lukeneff  admiration  remembering  memory  recordkeeping  people  howto  advice  work  sharing  etiquette  from delicious
april 2011 by robertogreco
My Life Without A Cell Phone: An Amazing Tale Of Survival | The Awl
"Want to know real convenience? Leave a message on my machine, or email me, and I’ll get back to you when I damn well feel like it. And if I desperately need to speak to someone when I’m away from home or office, I’ll either use a payphone (they do still exist, and I can tell you where every one south of 23rd Street is) or borrow someone else’s cell to make the call. Now that’s convenience."

"Punctuality/Attention Span: These two are boons for my friends and loved ones: If we have a date, I’ll almost always be on time, because I can’t call you at the restaurant, after lingering needlessly somewhere, to tell you I’m running late. Also, when we are together, you will have my undivided attention. Really. I will never glance surreptitiously down at the corner of the table to see who is calling/emailing/texting while we’re in the middle of a conversation. Which, by the way, is gross, and if you’re one of the people who does this you don’t deserve the company of other humans."
mobile  phones  cv  convenience  anachronism  cellphones  etiquette  attention  punctuality  manners  technology  analog  reception  health  relationships  self-reliance  freedom  from delicious
march 2011 by robertogreco
Don’t Call Me, I Won’t Call You - NYTimes.com
"Phone calls are rude. Intrusive. Awkward. “Thank you for noticing something that millions of people have failed to notice since the invention of the telephone until just now,” Judith Martin, a k a Miss Manners, said by way of opening our phone conversation. “I’ve been hammering away at this for decades. The telephone has a very rude propensity to interrupt people.”

Though the beast has been somewhat tamed by voice mail and caller ID, the phone caller still insists, Ms. Martin explained, “that we should drop whatever we’re doing and listen to me.”"
email  culture  society  communication  voicemail  phones  etiquette  change  2011  pamelapaul  phonecalls  sms  texting  from delicious
march 2011 by robertogreco
Instruments of Politeness | Design Interactions at the RCA
"The Instruments of Politeness show how we might interact with context aware technology in the future.

At present we can lie about our current situation because the only transmitted information is the actual conversation and background noise. In the future mobile phones will be able to estimate our activity by evaluating multiple sensors in the device. This information will not only be used by the device itself but shared with our environment. The project 'Instruments of Politeness' allows the user to lie about his current activity.

What if we could trick the perception of our "aware" gadgets?

These two objects focus on simulating specific movement procedures. The first one converts a circular movement into a gentle linear motion as if the person was walking with the phone in their pocket. The second object creates a random movement to simulate a person dancing."

[via: http://berglondon.com/blog/2011/03/16/instruments-of-politeness/ ]
context  design  etiquette  technology  conversation  perception  sensors  ambientfakery  whitelies  steffenfiedler  2009  designfiction  fictionmachines  instrumentsofpoliteness  from delicious
march 2011 by robertogreco
Tracking down my online haters - CNN.com
"Bryant says, “I reply all the time by saying, ‘Thank you for writing, I appreciate your opinion though I don’t know why you needed to insult me.’ The general response is ‘Gee, I didn’t think anyone was paying attention.’ And they want to be pals with you. It’s the kick-the-dog syndrome. People believe no one’s listening; they think we’re not people, they think there are these giant monoliths controlling thought. Then when they realize someone is listening, they rediscover their manners.”
journalism  internet  twitter  privacy  community  anonymity  jeffpearlman  via:coldbrain  manners  etiquette  netiquette  listening  confrontation  behavior  classideas  kick-the-dogsyndrome  from delicious
march 2011 by robertogreco
Seven Habits of Highly Connected People ~ Stephen's Web
1. Be Reactive: …some time listening and getting the lay of the land. Then, your forays into creating content should be as reactions to other people's points of view…It's about connecting…

2. Go With The Flow:  When connecting online, it is more important to find the places to which you can add value rather than pursue a particular goal/objective…

3. Connection Comes First:  If you don't have enough time for reading email, writing blog posts, or posting to discussion lists, ask yourself what other activities you are doing that are cutting in to your time…

4. Share: The way to function in a connected world is to share without thinking about what you will get in return…

5. RTFM: "Read The Fine Manual"…means… people should make the effort to learn for themselves before seeking instruction from others…

6. Cooperate: …online communications are much more voluntary than offline communications…successful online connectors recognize this.…know the protocols…

7. Be Yourself…"

[via: http://steelemaley.posterous.com/greco ]
collaboration  socialnetworking  connectivism  education  stephendownes  ego  howto  advice  connectivity  online  internet  etiquette  netiquette  learning  2008  flow  cooperation  sharing  rtfm  self  identity  from delicious
february 2011 by robertogreco
Information Architects – Use Your Real Name When You Comment
"Dear anonymous reader, if you intend to be critical: Be our guest. But if you’re our guest, act like a guest.

Here is how it works on our channel. You are free to say whatever you like, as long as you post under:

1. your real name or
2. with a reference to an identifiable website or
3. anything else that identifies you to other readers

This is not a dating site, not a social network for artists or an underground association fighting against a repressive regime. From today on, we will delete all unidentifiable comments. Why so harsh?"
identity  etiquette  commenting  netiquette  online  web  via:coldbrain  anonymity  from delicious
february 2011 by robertogreco
Don'ts: walking while texting
"If you run into me on the sidewalk while you are heads-down texting, emailing, IMing, reading, sexting, Angry Birdsing, or whatever elseing on your mobile device, I get to slap that fucking thing out of your hands a la Alex Rodriguez slapping the ball out of Bronson Arroyo's glove in game six of the 2004 American League Championship Series, except way less milquetoasty. And you do the same for me, ok?

Addendum: If you're heads-down texting on your phone accompanying a young child in a crosswalk with lots of traffic turning through it, I get to slap the phone out of your hands, punch you in the face, and take your child away from you forever. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you people?"
jasonkottke  kottke  etiquette  attention  mobilephones  mobile  parenting  texting  walking  pedestrians  from delicious
february 2011 by robertogreco
This column will change your life: Are you an Asker or a Guesser? | Life and style | The Guardian
"We are raised…in one of two cultures. In Ask culture, people grow up believing they can ask for anything – a favour, a pay rise– fully realising the answer may be no. In Guess culture…you avoid "putting a request into words unless you're pretty sure the answer will be yes… A key skill is putting out delicate feelers. If you do this with enough subtlety, you won't have to make the request directly; you'll get an offer…

Neither's "wrong", but when an Asker meets a Guesser, unpleasantness results. An Asker won't think it's rude to request two weeks in your spare room, but a Guess culture person will hear it as presumptuous and resent the agony involved in saying no. Your boss, asking for a project to be finished early, may be an overdemanding boor – or just an Asker, who's assuming you might decline. If you're a Guesser, you'll hear it as an expectation. This is a spectrum, not a dichotomy, and it explains cross-cultural awkwardnesses, too…"
psychology  culture  communication  etiquette  relationships  via:lukeneff  negotiation  negotiating  guilt  self-esteem  understanding  misunderstanding  askers  guessers  from delicious
january 2011 by robertogreco
Unlink Your Feeds - There’s a better way.
"I have a vision of a new social networking paradigm. Handcrafted social networks.

I imagine a world where people take each network for what it is and participate (or not) on those terms. Instead of a firehose slurry of everything buckets, I imagine separate streams of purified whatever-it-is-each-service-does. I envision users that post when they’re inspired & don’t mind skipping a few days if nothing particularly interesting comes up…

I imagine people taking the extra 10 seconds to reformat a post for each service if the message is so relevant and important that it needs to show up more than once. I imagine being able to choose who I follow and what subset of their postings I get with a high degree of granularity.

There may come a day when this vision gets implemented on the server side. When all the social networks give me fine grain control for hiding subsets of the updates sent out by my contacts. But until that day comes, it’s gotta be solved on the client side."
lifestream  cv  distributed  socialnetworking  socialmedia  socialnetworks  socialsoftware  timmaly  formatting  context  del.icio.us  twitter  tumblr  vimeo  flickr  etiquette  howto  internet  web  online  tutorials  utopia  from delicious
december 2010 by robertogreco
Attention, and Other 21st-Century Social Media Literacies (EDUCAUSE Review) | EDUCAUSE
"Just as print technologies & literacies shaped Enlightenment, the social media technologies & literacies will shape the cognitive, social, & cultural environments of 21st century. As Jenkins & colleagues have emphasized, education that acknowledges the full impact of networked publics & digital media must recognize a whole new way of looking at learning & teaching. This is not just another set of skills to be added to curriculum. Assuming a world in which welfare of young people & economic health of society & political health of democracy are the true goals of education, I believe modern societies need to assess & evaluate what works & doesn't in terms of engaging students in learning.

If we want to do this, if we want to discover how we can engage students as well as ourselves in 21st century, we must move beyond skills & technologies. We must explore also interconnected social media literacies of attention, participation, cooperation, network awareness, & critical consumption."
howardrheingold  education  learning  socialmedia  literacy  collaboration  21stcenturyskills  communication  participatory  participation  participatoryculture  henryjenkins  networkawareness  awareness  criticalthinking  criticalconsumption  technology  medialiteracy  interconnectivity  engagement  teaching  society  etiquette  democracy  tcsnmy  lcproject  future  interconnected  from delicious
december 2010 by robertogreco
Online, Anonymity Breeds Contempt - NYTimes.com
"Even in the 4th century B.C., Plato touched upon the subject of anonymity & morality in his parable of the ring of Gyges.

That mythical ring gave its owner the power of invisibility, & Plato observed that even a habitually just man who possessed such a ring would become a thief, knowing that he couldn’t be caught. Morality, Plato argues, comes from full disclosure; without accountability for our actions we would all behave unjustly…

Psychological research has proven again & again that anonymity increases unethical behavior. Road rage bubbles up in the relative anonymity of one’s car. & in the online world, which can offer total anonymity, the effect is even more pronounced…There’s even a term for it: the online disinhibition effect.

At Facebook…approach is to try to replicate real-world social norms by emphasizing the human qualities of conversation. People’s faces, real names & brief bios are placed next to their public comments, to establish a baseline of responsibility."
community  trolls  internet  anonymity  commenting  facebook  trolling  morality  onlinedisinhibition  2010  ethics  human  humannature  cars  driving  plato  gyges  parables  ringofgyges  disclosure  accountability  behavior  etiquette  social  interaction  online  web  socialnorms  conversation  classideas  cv  responsibility  toshare  todiscuss  from delicious
december 2010 by robertogreco
Escape from Thunderdome « Snarkmarket [One of three Snarkmarket posts on Marc Ambinder's "I Am a Blogger No Longer". Links within and a great comment thread too.]
"Ambinder totally made the right choice…because…blogging in a Thunderdome of criticism is a really bad idea…it erodes the soul, &…it’s probably not something that a person should do.

There’s a line of thinking that says the whole point of blogging is to…engage with The People Out There. (Especially Perhaps If They Are Vehement Critics.) I think that line of thinking is wrong…a blog at its best is a dinner party, & if you're the guy who shouts me down whenever I rise to speak, who questions my very motives for throwing this party in the first place: you are not invited.

Now, happily, it’s a special kind of dinner party. Anyone can listen in, & the front door is ajar…there’s probably always an extra place set, Elijah-style. But even so: it’s a space that belongs to its authors, & they set its rules. Maybe that’s easier said than done when you’re blogging about the Tea Party…but I don’t know. There’s a red delete button next to every comment…and it’s pretty easy to click."
robinsloan  blogging  marcambinder  snarkmarket  manners  netiquette  conversation  politics  discussion  argument  etiquette  from delicious
november 2010 by robertogreco
A phone to save us from our screens?
"…The first is an post-apocalyptic vision of humanity stuck with their heads in their mobile devices:

Here’s David Webster, chief strategy officer in Microsoft’s central marketing group, explaining their anti-screen strategy: “Our sentiment was that if we could have an insight to drive the campaign that flipped the category on its head, then all the dollars that other people are spending glorifying becoming lost in your screen or melding w/ your phone are actually making our point for us.”

The problem of glowing rectangles is a subject close to my heart, & Matt Jones has been bothered by the increase in mobile glowing attention-wells.

I think Microsoft & Crispin Porter + Bogusky’s advertising strategy stands out in a world full of slick floaty media. The only problem is that without any strategy towards tangible interaction, I’m not sure the ‘tiles’ interaction concept is strong enough to actually take people’s attention out of the glass."

["Microsoft has two new ads, anticipating their upcoming Windows Phone 7 launch.…] [Videos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dv-fbO-_xl0 AND http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHlN21ebeak ]
ads  advertising  mobile  phones  screens  iphone  attention  glowingrectangles  mattjones  timoarnall  floatymedia  palm  tangibility  tangibleinteraction  interaction  glass  2010  windowsmobile7  windowsmobile  society  distraction  humanitiy  etiquette  presence  computing  from delicious
october 2010 by robertogreco
The Financialization of Everyday Life | varnelis.net
"For future generations, the experience of rediscovering long-lost friends will be unfamiliar. Similarly, new friends are all too easy to make. If alienation was in part the product of feeling alone in a city or in mass society, misunderstood and unable to find others like oneself, today the Internet makes it possible for us to connect to a massive number of dispersed, networked publics brought together around particular taste cultures. Through social networking sites, we come to regard each other as intimates even before we have met. Intimacy is now a matter of keeping up the "telecocoon," the steady, ambient conversation that keeps individuals together regardless of how far apart they are."
kazysvarnelis  networks  networkedpublics  urban  urbanism  isolation  alienation  cities  mobility  connections  dispersion  ambient  ambientconversation  ambientintimacy  looseties  etiquette  internet  web  social  socialnetworking  from delicious
september 2010 by robertogreco
No E-Books Allowed in This Establishment - Bits Blog - NYTimes.com
"So what about that coffee shop that won’t let me read a book on a screen? Even though I don’t agree with the shop’s logic and its distinctions between pixels and paper, I can appreciate a place hoping to offer an escape from computers and the Web. But as e-books continue to thrive and grow and more people, including students, replace their paper products with digital versions, these coffee and sandwich shops might not have much of a choice but to accept that some people now read books on screens — even if they do look like computers."
business  technology  etiquette  rules  bans  ebooks  coffeehouses  computers 
august 2010 by robertogreco
Phone etiquette and the end of the individual [I lean way to the "new standard of cool" side", but not completetly. There are a few, rare instances where the phone might enhance the encounter.]
"Peggy Nelson argues that everyone being on their mobile phones all the time -- even while at a dinner for two -- isn't rude, it signals a shift from our society's emphasis on the individual to the networked "flow"...

But au contraire, mon frere.

'My new standard of cool: when I'm hanging out with you, I never see your phone ever ever ever.'

'If we're hanging out and you pull out your iPhone to water your Farmville crops, we can no longer be friends. It's not me, it's you.'"
peggynelson  etiquette  mobile  phones  relationships  technology  farmville  society  flow  individualism  networks  kottke 
july 2010 by robertogreco
In praise of tardiness - Bobulate [The above is not necessarily the "value" of tardiness, but rather an example of how timing can be improtant & often is only a matter of chance. Oh, and something about the power of suggestion.]
"One day in 1939, Berkeley doctoral candidate George Dantzig arrived late for a statistics class taught by Jerzy Neyman. He copied down the 2 problems on the blackboard & turned them in a few days later, apologizing for the delay—he’d found them unusually difficult. Distracted, Neyman told him to leave his homework on the desk.

On a Sunday morning 6 weeks later, Neyman banged on Dantzig’s door. The problems that Dantzig had assumed were homework were actually unproved statistical theorems that Neyman had been discussing with the class—& Dantzig had proved both of them. Both were eventually published, w/ Dantzig as coauthor.

“When I began to worry about a thesis topic,” he recalled later, “Neyman just shrugged & told me to wrap the 2 problems in a binder & he would accept them as my thesis.”"

[Don't miss the other contrary examples at the bottom.]
tardiness  promptness  etiquette  timing  serendipity  knowingless  seeingonlypartofthepicture  lateness  misunderstanding  happyaccidents  thepowerofsuggestion  thereisnooneway  lizdanzico 
july 2010 by robertogreco
Confidence for good - Bobulate
"Even when you choose the thing that inspires you, the thing you believe in, work with colleagues you learn from, do good work, there’s going to be a level of fear involved. People will have opinions and negative reactions. But that fear means it’s worth it...

Each career change I’ve made has been based on this premise. Leaping from a known to an unknown is a way to stay relevant, moving, and continue learning...

People, both women and men, should be so fiercely passionate about good ideas that self-promotion is a natural extension. Otherwise, why is it worth doing in the first place? It’s when confidence and self-promotion are obfuscated from passion that the claims become flimsy and empty. Confidence can bridge the gap between desire and outcome as long as the integrity for what we believe and the authenticity of what we create remain in place. We have the ability to both do good work and to recognize it — the choice is ours to make. Confidence is good’s natural extension."

[via: http://blog.frankchimero.com/post/594165220/text-playlist ]
entrepreneurship  etiquette  clayshirky  lizdanzico  authenticity  education  psychology  thinking  writing  fear  gender  inspiration  demographics  design  creativity  confidence  life  business  good  integrity  self-promotion  passion  careers 
july 2010 by robertogreco
Derek Powazek - Press the Magic Button
"If you use Twitter, you pay attention to your mentions – the tweets that include @yourusername – because that’s how you have conversations. And therein lies the problem, because anyone can tweet at you that way. Some of those people are batshit crazy like the Haight Street Guy, while others are just merely rude like the Conference Talker Guy.

The difference is, on Haight Street, you have to walk briskly away and hope you’re not followed. And at the conference, you have to de-escalate the conversation politely, in front of a crowd. But on Twitter, there is a magic button, and in one click, poof, the crazy is gone.

It’s a wonderful thing. A thing so lovely I often find myself wishing it existed in real life. So why is blocking such a taboo?...

Imagine for a moment if the function was called: “It’s not you, it’s me.” Or: “I just need a little space.” Or simply: “Engage cloaking device.” I doubt it would feel so personally insulting."
netiquette  attention  blogging  etiquette  anonymity  facebook  internet  flickr  lifehacks  twitter  tips  socialmedia  derekpowazek  blocking  filtering  sanity  cloackingdevices 
july 2010 by robertogreco
Frank Chimero — Public Tools and Your Private Stash
"Posting Gavin’s work without proper credit and link is a problem for him because he missed out on having a giant influx of new eyes on his work from an honest mistake. As a creative person, I love it when other people share my work and copy it to their respective places on this web. It’s at testament to how they enjoy it and it’s a sign of connection. Someone wanted to save that thing that I made, and that is incredible. But, it does me no good if it is displayed publicly without credit. With this in mind, I have a few small proposals:

* Keep it public, but give credit. [explained] ... [OR] * Keep it private... [explained]
So, please give credit. It’s the only currency for the folks who publish their work online freely."
credit  sharing  online  morguefiles  frankchimero  etiquette  netiquette  tcsnmy  howto  tumblr  flickr 
july 2010 by robertogreco
MY PHONE IS OFF FOR YOU
"We may be sitting at the same table, but we are not together: a common condition of our over-wired world. It is time to question what truly nurtures the human spirit. MY PHONE IS OFF FOR YOU is a revolution; a series of tools designed to help engage in the present moment and spread this idea!"
communication  etiquette  design  trends  society  presence  listening  interruptions  phones  mobile  social 
june 2010 by robertogreco
Op-Ed Contributor - The Death of the R.S.V.P. - NYTimes.com
"What’s preventing us from executing this basic social task? Is it the medium? Do Evites somehow not feel like “real” invitations? Is it our busy lives, so overbooked and overwhelmed we’ve drawn up the castle gates? Don’t invite me out this month, I’m ensconced! Or is it simple rudeness? Try as I might to understand, I kept feeling dissed.

What’s clear is how hard the R.S.V.P. rubs against the grain of contemporary life. In requesting people to anchor a plan in the distant future of a month hence, you are demanding a kind of navigation that Americans increasingly do not practice. We prefer to remain flexy, solidifying our plans incrementally as the date approaches. Let’s talk tomorrow. I’ll call you when I’m on the road. Cellphones in hand, we microadjust our schedules as they unfold around us. We’re like the air traffic controllers of our own lives."

[see also: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/anna-jane-grossman/rsvp-rip_b_510150.html ]
rsvp  etiquette  culture  trends  behavior  evite 
april 2010 by robertogreco
Small talk (phatic communication) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
"Small talk is conversation for its own sake, or "…comments on what is perfectly obvious." It is an informal type of discourse that does not cover any functional topics of conversation or any transactions that need to be addressed. The phenomenon of small talk was initially studied in 1923 by Bronisław Malinowski, who coined the term phatic communion to describe it. The ability to conduct small talk is a social skill."

[Referenced here: http://plsj.tumblr.com/post/331838144/criticising-the-banality-of-facebook regarding: http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2010/jan/05/social-media-cory-doctorow ]
corydoctorow  cv  communication  phaticcommunication  phatic  smalltalk  socialskills  etiquette  informal  informality  conversation 
january 2010 by robertogreco
Politeness: Hi there | The Economist
"Life is getting friendlier but less interesting. Blame technology, globalisation & feminism" ... "So what seems to be happening is that formal politeness, at least in spoken & written exchanges, is on the decline, thanks to globalisation (meaning the rise of flat, nuance-less English as a means of international communication), to social changes and to technology. Replacing it is a kind of neutral friendliness, where human encounters take place devoid of the signifiers of emotional and status differences that past generations found so essential. That may lubricate business meetings. But it makes life outside the workplace less interesting. If you use first names everywhere at work, how do you signify to a colleague that you want to be a real friend? If you sign all e-mails “love & vibes”, how do you show intimacy? Much of the world has an answer to that, at least in their own languages & cultures. English-speakers may have triumphed on one front, but they are struggling on another."
via:cityofsound  politeness  english  humor  society  etiquette  speech  writing  history  language  communication  diplomacy  informality  french  german  internet  culture  technology 
january 2010 by robertogreco
haters and hecklers - a grammar
"I just want to mention: I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the mainstream adoption of the “hater” idea took place during a decade that also saw a massive explosion in people’s access to one another’s lives and opinions. Because I don’t think we as a culture have yet come up with any particularly great coping mechanisms for that explosion."
haters  heckler  commenting  online  etiquette  criticism  constructivecriticism  opinion  maturity  socialmedia  sharing  exposure  celebrities  bullies 
december 2009 by robertogreco
click opera - Absent without leaving
"the Japanese are more discreet, & minimise themselves more politely & considerately than anyone else...Even their houses seem to avert their gaze; you can pass down a heavily-built Tokyo street with the sense of being completely unobserved, thanks to the frosted glass in the windows, just as you can sit in a crowded train carriage and not find a single eye meeting yours. It can feel uncanny at times, like being an invisible man. Most of the time it's very reassuring, though. You soon miss it in other cities. Adjectives I'd use to describe this minimised public presence: discreet, considerate, polite, apologetic, cold, withdrawn, inward, socialised, repressed. & there we begin to hit on an interesting paradox: you withdraw into yourself in the interests of the collectivity. Your absence is highly social, even when it resembles a semi-autistic withdrawal. You turn inward to facilitate outward smoothness. You make yourself ghostlike out of courtesy to other people, who do the same."
momus  japan  tokyo  presence  etiquette  withdrawal  otaku  politeness  minimization  invisibility  subtlety 
december 2009 by robertogreco
12 ways social media are screwing with bad work habits ~ Stephen's Web ~ by Stephen Downes
"OK, I get where Janet Clarey is coming from with this list. But if you get over your habit of casual lying, if you get over the fact that you're supposed to be afraid of your boss, if you get over worrying about being somehow less than perfect, there's no problem. It's like those scare stories about Facebook being bad because everyone can see your lewd drunken behaviour. The real problem is the lewd drunken behaviour - you should do it less, and other people should become less judgemental."
stephendownes  productivity  work  rules  administration  management  behavior  etiquette  facebook  online  web 
october 2009 by robertogreco
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food? | Serious Eats
"With certain friends, ordering repeats is not, under any circumstances, allowed at a meal. Two enchilada orders? Dear heavens, is this some kind of sick joke? Talk about a waste of another sharable dish. For others, sharing food is like sharing gum or toothbrushes. You kind of just don't go there, whether for germ-phobic or territorial reasons. The spectrum ranges from full plate-sharers to nibble-sharers to that food is freakin' mine, step off, anti-sharers.

Of course food-sharing varies by culture and upbringing, but for many Serious Eaters, the pro-smörgåsbord mentality allows you to try many things. (Though we can probably all agree that it's not cool to offer someone a taste, only to have them snatch it up like it's their last supper.) Where do you stand? And how do you handle the issue diplomatically?"
food  sharing  customs  culture  etiquette  tcsnmy  offcampustrips  glvo 
august 2009 by robertogreco
Please Turn on Your Cell Phone: Change Observer: Design Observer
Interesting discussion (see comments) about the use of cell phones in the classroom. While I'm not sure where I stand just yet, I often feel like this (disclosure: I've never had a cell phone): "Mobile communication devices are primarily chatter tools that allow one to overbook time, be non-committal to plans and appointments, and provide a balm to one's conscious as they use the device to report their position and explain that they'll be a 1/2hr late.
education  learning  technology  phones  mobile  pedagogy  classroom  tcsnmy  society  etiquette  distraction  engagement  classrooms 
august 2009 by robertogreco
Subtraction.com: A Good Day’s Busy Work
"What does it mean, exactly, to “embrace the medium”? Apparently, it means a compulsive dedication to what essentially amounts to busy work: checking in with your followers or friends repeatedly and often, authoring bursts of quasi-communiqués at all hours of the day, continually updating your statuses, tending a limitless onslaught of friend requests, managing an unyielding firehose of housekeeping tasks. It just means spending a lot of time just wasting time. And not just that, but it also means creating all of this busy work for other people, too; creating or updating or inputting more stuff for everyone to read — or more accurately, for everyone to feel they have to keep up with. We’re all blindsiding ourselves and one another with trivial obligations."
productivity  distraction  internet  twitter  communication  khoivinh  culture  society  obligation  work  blogs  blogging  etiquette  time 
july 2009 by robertogreco
The End of Fail - Anil Dash
"FAIL is over. Fail is dead. Because it marks a lack of human empathy, and signifies an absence of intellectual curiosity, it is an unacceptable response to creative efforts in our culture. "Fail!" is the cry of someone who doesn't create, doesn't ship, doesn't launch, who doesn't make things. And because these people don't make things, they don't understand the context of those who do. They can't understand that nobody is more self-critical or more aware of the shortcomings of a creation than the person or people who made it."
anildash  culture  fail  blogging  creativity  criticism  empathy  etiquette  language  community  tcsnmy  online  internet  constructivecriticism  society  humanity  antisocial 
june 2009 by robertogreco
The rules for balancing technology and relationships - Times Online
"However, the only way a new etiquette can really work is through increased self-awareness on the part of the user. For starters, users have to realise how their behaviour can affect others. As Lloyd-Elliot says: “There is something arrogant about the mindset that goes with this trend — the sense of always thinking that what you’ve got to say is so important it can’t wait. There’s also an absence of thoughtful empathy; how you are making those around you feel.”
etiquette  technology  mobile  phones  relationships  twitter  iphone  internet  society  empathy  attention  continuouspartialattention 
june 2009 by robertogreco
Vodafone | receiver » Blog Archive » Real time – thriving in the culture of efficiency
"To thrive in a culture of efficiency, it is vital to carve out time to foster physical and emotional health, to build and sustain meaningful relationships, to contribute to the communities where we live and work, and to repair the world. For the time-pressed, this is a tall order on an already ambitiously-packed agenda. But even small steps will enhance well-being and personal satisfaction and will have rippling, positive repercussions. So seize the moment: work, play, and rest; balance, breathe, and renew."
infooverload  technology  downtime  balance  etiquette  work  productivity  time  health  efficiency  filtering  attention  relationships 
june 2009 by robertogreco
i-wood with blazing 3B technology
"a reaction to everyone using their i-phones/blackberries/other devices in the most irritating ways...to use when your friends/enemies/passing acquaintances are being jerks with their hand-held technology." Features: Web: "Hey, didn’t you need to check and see when the movie started? Now with the i-wood’s built in web connectivity you can not only check when your movie starts but when every movie starts ever. Or check when all future movies will start until the end of time because we all need more useless information at the tips of our fingers. In fact use the web for what it’s really for... porn, glorious porn. Go ahead and look at it in public there is no shame left in your soul anyway, just do it." Applications: Meeting ignore: "Now when you are in a meeting you have a reason to ignore everything that is being talked about. Who cares if they are telling you something important. The Meeting Ignore application gives you the right to be as rude as possible."
iphone  humor  sarcasm  meetings  society  etiquette  satire  iwood  technology 
may 2009 by robertogreco
Laurent Haug’s blog » Is (constructive) conversation moving offline?
"We certainly haven’t found a more efficient answer to bullies and trolls than disappearance, taking conversations private to stop exposing them. It is both understandable and a shame, much value getting confined in emails while it could become searchable. We need more solutions to make online conversation more civilized, while keeping the liberty of tone, diversity and genuineness that characterized the early days of the web."
conversation  online  discussion  trolls  society  etiquette  laurenthaug 
may 2009 by robertogreco
Survey Says Baby Boomers Think Playing With Your Blackberry During A Meeting Is Rude
"The generation gap all too often expresses itself as a technology gap. A survey of white collar workers (most of them in the legal profession) commissioned by NexisLexis offers a glimpse at changing attitudes towards technology between Baby Boomers, Gen Xers and Gen Yers. ... My advice to anyone who finds Blackberry or laptop use during meetings rude or distracting: have fewer meetings or get to the point faster. Invariably, the conversations people are having on their laptops, iPhones, and Blackberries are increasingly more interesting than the ones that are going on in the room."
attention  genx  geny  netgen  boomers  babyboomers  generations  technology  communication  work  etiquette  laptops  mobile  phones  twitter  facebook  email  continuouspartialattention  meetings 
april 2009 by robertogreco
Digital Citizenship | the human network
"the younger generation has different values where the privacy of personal information is concerned, but even they have limits they want to respect & circles of intimacy they want to defend. Showing them how to reinforce their privacy with technology is a good place to start in any discussion of digital citizenship. Similarly, before a child is given a computer – either at home or in school – it must be accompanied by instruction in the power of the network. A child may have a natural facility with the network without having any sense of the power of the network as an amplifier of capability. It’s that disconnect which digital citizenship must bridge. It’s not my role to be prescriptive. I’m not going to tell you to do this or that particular thing, or outline a five-step plan to ensure that the next generation avoid ruining their lives as they come online. This is a collective problem which calls for a collective solution. Fortunately, we live in an era of collective technology."

[video here: http://blog.futurestreetconsulting.com/?p=141 ]
markpesce  education  learning  pedagogy  children  tcsnmy  computers  laptops  mobile  phones  constructivism  digitalcitizenship  socialmedia  etiquette  networkliteracy  literacy  future 
april 2009 by robertogreco
Renny Gleeson on antisocial phone tricks | Video on TED.com
"In this funny (and actually poignant) 3-minute talk, social strategist Renny Gleeson breaks down our always-on social world -- where the experience we're having right now is less interesting than what we'll tweet about it later."
culture  society  mobilephones  socialnetworking  availability  continuouspartialattention  twitter  identity  etiquette  alwayson  socialmedia  antisocial  behavior  human  communication  technology  community 
april 2009 by robertogreco
The End of Alone - The Boston Globe
"At our desk, on the road, or on a remote beach, the world is a tap away. It's so cool. And yet it's not. What we lose with our constant connectedness." ... "DESCARTES, NEWTON, LOCKE, Spinoza, Kant, Nietzsche, Kierkegaard -- they share the distinction of having been some of the greatest thinkers the world has known. They also share this: None of them ever married or had their own families, and most of them spent the bulk of their lives living alone. In his provocative 1989 book Solitude: A Return to the Self, British writer and psychiatrist Anthony Storr made a persuasive case for the value of deep, uninterrupted alone time. He found it in ample supply in the lives of not just philosophers and physicists, but also some of the greatest poets, novelists, painters, and composers."
technology  solitude  society  facebook  email  gmail  bogs  online  internet  connectivity  mobile  phones  twitter  slow  well-being  idleness  boredom  quiet  etiquette  missedconnections  anxiety  strangers  life  philosophy  thoreau  reflection  via:hrheingold 
february 2009 by robertogreco
I Am Here: One Man's Experiment With the Location-Aware Lifestyle
"To test whether I was being paranoid, I ran a little experiment. On a sunny Saturday, I spotted a woman in Golden Gate Park taking a photo with a 3G iPhone. Because iPhones embed geodata into photos that users upload to Flickr or Picasa, iPhone shots can be automatically placed on a map. At home I searched the Flickr map, and score -- a shot from today. I clicked through to the user's photostream and determined it was the woman I had seen earlier. After adjusting the settings so that only her shots appeared on the map, I saw a cluster of images in one location. Clicking on them revealed photos of an apartment interior -- a bedroom, a kitchen, a filthy living room. Now I know where she lives."
mathewhonan  mapping  twitter  fireeagle  geotagging  geolocation  socialnetworking  iphone  gps  mobile-computing  mobile  internet  web  culture  etiquette  android  location  privacy  mobility  location-aware  lifestream 
january 2009 by robertogreco
Wiki:this very short warning | Social Media CoLab
"This is definitely related to the mindfulness-about-laptops-in-class issue. The technology has leaped ahead of social norms -- the ways we integrate social processes like college courses with media like Wi-Fi. So I'm interested -- as you should be -- in finding what the advantages and dangers of unfettered use of laptops during class meetings are, then exploring ways to leverage the advantages and avoid the dangers. My hypothesis, formulated inductively by experimenting with four previous classes, is that it's a mixture of attention-training (just as note-taking is a form of attention-training) and social norms (if most people put their laptop away most of the time, when they aren't using it to look up something class-related, then most people will be able to Facebook, email, or Twitter part of the time). So there is a collective action social dilemma involved, akin to the tragedy of the commons. Individual self-interest, if aggregated enough, can act counter to the interests of all."
learning  laptops  society  etiquette  teaching  information  multitasking  attention  pedagogy  overload  filtering  via:preoccupations  newmedia  flow  time  rss  gtd  socialmedia 
january 2009 by robertogreco
Pasta&Vinegar » Blog Archive » Others in public transports
"Before the development of buses, railroads, and trams in the nineteenth century, people had never been in a position of having to look at one another for long minutes or even hours without speaking to one another.“
socialization  society  cities  masstransit  buses  trains  trams  interaction  people  etiquette  urbanism  history  change  behavior 
january 2009 by robertogreco
Writing My Twitter Etiquette Article: 14 Ways to Use Twitter Politely by Margaret Mason - The Morning News
"Every form of communication deserves an etiquette manual, if only so we can treat our fellows better, even in 140-character bites. MARGARET MASON’S 14-point guide to improved tweets."
twitter  etiquette  microblogging  online  newmedia  humor  socialmedia  bestpractices  netiquette  socialnetworking  advice  howto 
december 2008 by robertogreco
/Message: JP Rangaswami on Continuous Partial Asymmetry
"One of the unstated reasons for the decrease in participation costs ... is the shift from the email inbox -- where the user is consigned to being a file clerk, archiving, & foldering -- and the shift to streaming clients that power users of twitter invariably use. In the streaming client apps, messaging drift by, & fall off the edge. If I want to look, I look; if I want to reply, I reply; in either case, after a while the message falls off the time horizon supported by the tool, & then it is gone, archived in the cloud somewhere, but out of the temporal horizon supported by the tool. ... This pattern drives the cognitive & productivity shifts that streaming tools engender in us & our modes of interaction. This is again that flow state of mind, the flow mode of operation that will soon be the norm. And the premises of asymmetric relationships & tools, & the ubiquity of that model of social interaction are a foundation of this shift we are undergoing, collectively & individually."

[as quoted by David Smith]

[see also: http://ross.typepad.com/blog/2008/12/asymmetrical-fo.html AND http://confusedofcalcutta.com/2008/12/08/musing-about-politeness-and-continuous-partial-asymmetry/ ]
via:preoccupations  continuouspartialasymmetry  twitter  flow  attention  email  glancing  communication  microblogging  stoweboyd  etiquette 
december 2008 by robertogreco
Schneier on Security: The Future of Ephemeral Conversation
"Conversation used to be ephemeral. Whether face-to-face or by phone, we could be reasonably sure that what we said disappeared as soon as we said it. Organized crime bosses worried about phone taps and room bugs, but that was the exception. Privacy was just assumed. This has changed. We chat in e-mail, over SMS and IM, and on social networking websites like Facebook, MySpace, and LiveJournal. We blog and we Twitter. These conversations -- with friends, lovers, colleagues, members of our cabinet -- are not ephemeral; they leave their own electronic trails. We know this intellectually, but we haven't truly internalized it. ... When everyone leaves a public digital trail of their personal thoughts since birth, no one will think twice about it being there. Obama might be on the younger side of the generation gap, but the rules he's operating under were written by the older side. It will take another generation before society's tolerance for digital ephemera changes."
bruceschneier  culture  internet  government  generations  ephemeralconversation  future  politics  change  communication  barackobama  mobile  phones  memory  privacy  legal  data  accountability  security  law  etiquette 
november 2008 by robertogreco
accismus - Wiktionary
"Feigning disinterest in something while actually desiring it."
definitions  words  english  interest  desire  disinterest  etiquette  social 
october 2008 by robertogreco
Beyond Emily: Post-ing Etiquette | Edutopia
"Some educators are leading the way to school-based netiquette education with guidelines advising students on what to do, and what to avoid, in online communication. We've put together excerpts from some sample guidelines."

[see also: http://www.edutopia.org/whats-next-2008-netiquette-guidelines ]
etiquette  netiquette  email  online  internet  tcsnmy  edutopia  education 
september 2008 by robertogreco
A Whole Lotta Nothing – Becoming an old (blogging) man
"I have a feeling that if you’ve only seen blogs in the past five years (which is probably 95+% of people reading blogs today) you consider comments to be de rigueur and they are entirely divorced from the original concept of a conversation between the reader and the author of the original post. It’s not an intimate conversation, it’s just another content management feature available to you on the web."
blogs  history  psychology  media  community  blogging  blogosphere  conversation  comments  web  etiquette 
august 2008 by robertogreco
Technoslave: Trapped by our cell phones, email and iPods, we need to clear our minds from the clutter and stop being technoslaves. | Adbusters
"Technology is supposed to free us from the shackles of work and give us more leisure time. But it has proven to do the exact opposite. A 2005 Leger Marketing survey for the technology newspaper Computing Canada found that the majority of people feel technology has meant more work and less time with the family. Whether it’s cell phones, Blackberry’s, video games or email, we have become a culture enslaved by our electronics. "
technoslaves  mobile  phone  internet  technology  connectedness  addiction  society  etiquette  distraction 
august 2008 by robertogreco
Communication Breakdown: How Cell Phones Hurt Communities | Media and Technology | AlterNet
"As Slate commented in his Adbusters essay, “It seems the more ‘connected’ we are, the more detached we become.”...hiking in Spain I saw this play out in a myriad of ways. Though I was experiencing cell-freedom...surrounded by people...on cell phones, texting & talking with concerned family members & friends throughout the day. People torn between developing friendships with strangers & calling up or texting old friends & family they already knew. Similarly, back in the U.S., I often found myself checking my messages or making a phone call rather than striking up a conversation with a stranger at the post office or bus stop. In this way, I was cutting off potentially eye-opening conversations and new friendships....ignoring my surroundings & neighborhood...If we can’t talk to face to face with our neighbors, or notice the world we’re walking through now, where will cell phone use take our communities and families five years down the road?"
mobile  phones  society  connectedness  etiquette  community  distraction 
august 2008 by robertogreco
Meetings suck, but they don't have to | Steve Tobak's views on dysfunctional corporate behavior - CNET News.com
"In any case, 15 years ago, a consultant taught me his version of the rules for effective meetings. I've adapted those rules to my own style and used them to help management teams work together effectively ever since. And let me tell you, they really work. So here they are in two parts: The three rules of meeting etiquette and the five rules of engagement for effective meetings."
productivity  management  administration  leadership  meetings  etiquette  business  work 
august 2008 by robertogreco
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