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Twitter
As I hoisted my own luggage into the trunk, my very Polish cab driver, impressed, shouted, “STRONG GIRL!! FARM??” A…
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yesterday
Twitter
When I was 9 years old a grown man in Australia emailed me out of the blue to tell me that my Geocities site, where…
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yesterday
Twitter
Serious proposal: 5 yr moratorium on Ivy League people being hired or appointed to any position of power. Couldn't…
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yesterday
Twitter
The best possible outcome of all this Sesame Street stuff is the show coming out and admitting that, yes, the puppe…
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yesterday
Twitter
"When neighbors start talking, good things happen." 🏡
from twitter_favs
2 days ago
Twitter
Me having 1:1s with my team
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2 days ago
Twitter
you made barack obama produce a birth certificate 48 yrs after the fact
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2 days ago
Twitter
A thing we don’t really talk about enough is this nice restaurant literally wallpapered with money
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3 days ago
Twitter
I hope that each and every one of us will immediately denounce the horrific treatment of Dr. Blasey Ford. That this…
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3 days ago
Twitter
Mazie Hirono: "I just want to say to the men of this country: Just shut up and step up. Do the right thing for a ch…
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3 days ago
Twitter
The g pro wireless is the first mouse in a long time to make me consider seriously changing my main driver.

I'll m…
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3 days ago
Twitter
It is generally understood that the optimal overall MK players are middleweights: Yoshi of course, but also Peach,…
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3 days ago
Twitter
Just found out why Mario Kart is trending on Twitter.
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3 days ago
Twitter
i'm starting to think stormy daniels was just playing Super Mario 2
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3 days ago
Twitter
when you have not, under any circumstances, been owned
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3 days ago
Twitter
What’s more likely: That a woman lied to her therapist in 2012 about a sexual assault so that one day she might be…
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4 days ago
Twitter
As Special Counsel, Brett Kavanaugh proposed a series of totally inappropriate + sexually explicit questions about…
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4 days ago
Twitter
Republicans held the Scalia seat vacant for over a year on the "principle" the voters deserved a voice. There's a m…
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5 days ago
Twitter
Kavanaugh categorically denies that he assaulted Christine Blasey Ford. She has taken a lie detector test which aff…
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5 days ago
Twitter
Thank you Fox News for making all the campaign graphics I never knew I needed
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5 days ago
Twitter
This constitutes our periodic reminder that putting apartment buildings next to single family homes isn’t out of th…
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6 days ago
Twitter
[loses one competitive game] all competition reeks of capitalism and is counterrevolutionary. under communism we wi…
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6 days ago
Twitter
Technically, the trash compactor is a “garbage masher”, first seen on the detention level of the Death Star (or DS-…
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6 days ago
Twitter
insane that the DNC doesn't just hand over their twitter account to her
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6 days ago
Twitter
a) The alt-right doesn’t seem to understand the concept of magazine shoots

b) You don’t get to keep the clothes, d…
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6 days ago
Twitter
My Uber Pool was planning to drop off another passenger before picking me up, but I didn’t realize, so I sprinted a…
from twitter_favs
7 days ago
Twitter
Cacio e pepe — simple but when made right, it's incredible
from twitter_favs
7 days ago
Cacio e Pepe Recipe - NYT Cooking
Cacio e pepe — simple but when made right, it's incredible
from twitter_favs
7 days ago
Twitter
It bears noting that Manafort picked Pence as VP. Pence picked the transition team, including Flynn, and publicly a…
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7 days ago
Twitter
HOW DID I MISS THIS. DO I HAVE ANY FRIENDS ON HERE AT ALL
from twitter_favs
7 days ago
Twitter
you’ve sexually assaulted like 5% of the women you know? buddy those are district court numbers. this is the united…
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7 days ago
Twitter
"Where we passing out bois?"
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7 days ago
Twitter
Police when they can't justify the murder of a black man in his own home
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7 days ago
Twitter
The past few days I've been testing the networking of an interesting new game. I hope that I will soon be allowed t…
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7 days ago
Twitter
What did they find in the home of the murderer who killed him?
from twitter_favs
8 days ago
Twitter
i know nixon won't win, but i'm allowing myself five minutes to imagine how beautiful it would be if she did and, m…
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8 days ago
Twitter
absolute nightmare shit, cool!
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8 days ago
Twitter
I’m a freak for this one I know, but Underpass from MW2
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8 days ago
Twitter
keanu reeves shoving a bottle of wine into his jacket and riding off on his motorcycle
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8 days ago
Twitter
if fleetwood mac could write “rumors” on a wild monthslong coke binge while they were all breaking up with each oth…
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8 days ago
Twitter
I got my diamond today...but this is about how hard I was sweating for it :D
from twitter_favs
9 days ago
Twitter
just remembered this absolutely perfect tweet
from twitter_favs
9 days ago
Twitter
Almost all of my scar is covered in hair now, except for one bald spot right at the top of my head. Currently makin…
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9 days ago
Twitter
I gotta say I kinda like that we're going back to cool/weird hardware names again as we did in early 2000.

X [S] M…
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9 days ago
Twitter
He deleted his Twitter account.

Gamers: 1 Mysogyny: 0
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9 days ago
Twitter
the rules of math dinner are: you don’t have to talk to me (but i like it) you can just sit in my living room and d…
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9 days ago
Twitter
"Cynthia Nixon isn't corrupt enough to be governor," I say as I jam my hand repeatedly into a wood chipper because…
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10 days ago
Twitter
a lot of people worried that the algorithm is showing fake faves so I just wanna be clear that if it says I liked a…
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10 days ago
Twitter
what a raging embarrassment
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10 days ago
Twitter
Hi, so I am basically this little girl, but 32.
from twitter_favs
11 days ago
Twitter
Since this tweet was posted, Kirstie has deactivated her Twitter account from too many sensible replies. She must h…
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11 days ago
Twitter
After several hours of contemplation and soul-searching I’ve come to the conclusion that lox and capers on a cinnam…
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11 days ago
Twitter
the perfect date:

-romantic music
-a delicious meal
-a moonlit walk on the beach
-soft lighting
-the declaration o…
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11 days ago
Twitter
TV show host breaks her sons iPads because they were playing ‘violent, addictive video games’ like Fortnite that ar…
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11 days ago
Twitter
top three accents when british people try to do an american accent: 1930s gangster, animatronic cowboy, surfer dude…
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11 days ago
Twitter
as a kid you ever wonder why your parents were so angry all the time and then when you got older you realize, oh wa…
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11 days ago
Twitter
Alright pt2 cause that tweet was a no no. Like I said, don’t worry about twitch chat. They’ll say what they want in…
from twitter_favs
12 days ago
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