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showing only twitter_favs [see all]
Twitter
i, too, love to get people riled up to vote by repeatedly telling them how powerless they are
from twitter_favs
7 hours ago
Twitter
you better call your senator dude, this doesn't sound good
from twitter_favs
8 hours ago
Twitter
"My people came to me...they said they think it's Russia. I have President Putin. He just said it's not Russia. I w…
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10 hours ago
Twitter
That Trump not only allows this, but happily defends the dictator who recently ordered a Russian military intellige…
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10 hours ago
Twitter
just saw an old thread of someone mad at me that was 11 tweets long and their avatar is a fan art of the smart rat…
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20 hours ago
Twitter
If Sacha Baron Cohen is sued for this, I will sell a kidney to donate to his legal fund.
from twitter_favs
yesterday
Twitter
To the people in my mentions telling me to bring back Italian Elon Musk: No. No conceivable parody could be funnier…
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yesterday
Twitter
The completely best thing about old print advertisements is how explicitly they assumed their readers were absolute…
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yesterday
Twitter
LOL why is this written like they’re ISIS???
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yesterday
Twitter
not gonna buy internet on this flight I'm about to get on and v excited to land and discover that Elon has re-inser…
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yesterday
Twitter
Fnatic literally called strats that consisted of "olof go kill something for us" and olof would go, *on his own* to…
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yesterday
Twitter
This is EXACTLY what the Chinese government does when the NYT or other foreign news organization report something t…
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yesterday
Twitter
YOU MUST CHOOSE:

[CLOSE BEDROOM WINDOW]

- you died in infernal furnace

[OPEN BEDROOM WINDOW]

- you died from…
from twitter_favs
yesterday
Twitter
*looking for eye drops on Amazon for my new contacts*
Customers who bought this item also bought:
- Stool softener…
from twitter_favs
yesterday
Twitter
This is all I’ve ever wanted from live music and I’m a professional musician
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yesterday
Twitter
i think we’ve reached the point in the summer where the tunnel trash breeze that happens when the subway approaches…
from twitter_favs
2 days ago
Twitter
It’s been a long day and I told Kim that we should probably just have a couple fries egg sandwiches for dinner and…
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2 days ago
Twitter
CNN- 12 Russians indicted for DNC hack

MSNBC- 12 Russians indicted for DNC hack

ABC- 12 Russians indicted for DNC…
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3 days ago
Twitter
The president wakes up every morning, gets dressed, looks in the mirror at his scrotum-level tie length and says, "…
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3 days ago
Twitter
The president openly asked a foreign adversary engaged in a criminal conspiracy to sabotage the election in his fav…
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3 days ago
Twitter
alaskan melonmute puppies grow in fields, and can use their melon body to stay cool on hot days.
from twitter_favs
3 days ago
Twitter
Mitch McConnell stealing Supreme Court seat AND blocking bipartisan Congressional response to Russian election inte…
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3 days ago
Twitter
Nice to know that our message is getting through.
from twitter_favs
3 days ago
Twitter
stancing up with my family
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3 days ago
Twitter
Flipping over every piece of furniture in my apartment and texting my drug dealers in all caps because I posted a p…
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4 days ago
Twitter
21 USC §352, 333 & 21 CFR §333.250(d)(1) make it a federal crime to sell athlete's foot cream without telling users…
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4 days ago
Twitter
anyone intrigued by my real life antics may be interested to learn that around the age of 4, a greyhound snatched t…
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4 days ago
Twitter
If you're just tuning in, Louie Gohmert just attacked Peter Strzok for cheating on his wife, in the context of defe…
from twitter_favs
4 days ago
Twitter
Blackbeard got nerfed all the way into Fortnite.
from twitter_favs
4 days ago
Twitter
Would love to hear Republican congressmen read aloud their texts about Trump from 2016.
from twitter_favs
4 days ago
Twitter
me at the beginning of 2018 vs. me halfway through
from twitter_favs
4 days ago
Twitter
Cuomo refuses to fund our public schools. He says we can't afford it.

Meanwhile, 20% of America's billionaires res…
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4 days ago
Twitter
GOB:
Let me ask you something. Is this a business decision, or is it personal? 'Cause if it's business I'll go awa…
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4 days ago
Twitter
Hey look what I just spotted in my neighborhood national chain pharmacy/sundries store's freezer sec…
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5 days ago
Twitter
That moment when you have to write a FBI 302 about Insane Clown Posse but still want to get a dig in about how they…
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5 days ago
Twitter
[Paper Planes by M.I.A. - Acoustic Version]

All I wanna do is-

*Bow and arrow noise*

*Bow and arrow noise*

*Bow…
from twitter_favs
5 days ago
Twitter
Another point that doesn't appear to understand is that when Germany & other European countries sp…
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5 days ago
Twitter
Trump tells NATO, Germany is controlled by Russia because that’s from where Germany gets its oil.
Ok, well, by that…
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5 days ago
Twitter
Hitler's message: "Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer" (One people, one nation, one leader).

Dissent was said to be…
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5 days ago
Twitter
My least favorite iOS dialog, asking for my Apple ID password (or is it App Store?) with no explanation why.
from twitter_favs
6 days ago
Twitter
I always chuckle when UX designers talk about "journeys." People are paying their phone bill, not trying to get to…
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6 days ago
Twitter
i finally watched the last episode of season two of queer eye and it might be the most unintentionally funny moment…
from twitter_favs
6 days ago
Twitter
There are more than a million Kavanaugh documents that are a matter of public record but are being withheld by DOJ…
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7 days ago
Twitter
As promised, here are the top questions asked today and my answers based solely on my experience and knowledge. Ple…
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7 days ago
Twitter
Here's a fun thing that happened around 2006:
When flash drives were like 512mb to 1gb, a couple companies figured…
from twitter_favs
7 days ago
Twitter
POTUS two hours from naming a justice who may have to decide with eight others whether or not a sitting president c…
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7 days ago
Twitter
posted w/o comment: a picture of a man in a homemade airplane with an Apple II on board.
from twitter_favs
7 days ago
Twitter
When you love the different flavors and feelings of different coffees
from twitter_favs
7 days ago
Hanger Steak with Charred Scallion Sauce Recipe | Bon Appetit
pleased to announce that i am gonna cook the heck out of this steak tonight
from twitter_favs
7 days ago
Twitter
Supreme Court Gathers To Watch Baby Justices Hatch
from twitter_favs
7 days ago
Twitter
You have a membership to eleven different eyebrow threading stores in six different countries.

You c…
from twitter_favs
7 days ago
Twitter
Pay the president $200,000, get the opportunity to go on his taxpayer funded airplane. In other countries, they cal…
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7 days ago
Twitter
ELON MUSK: Hey guys sorry it took a few extra months to fully integrate the bacon fryer, the sriracha dispenser and…
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7 days ago
Twitter
the purge: for 12 hours everything is legal, even murder 😈
me: so, like, everything including immigration violation…
from twitter_favs
7 days ago
Twitter
okay, let’s put a positive spin on that tweet that’s been going around: what’s a credit card number, expiration dat…
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7 days ago
Twitter
My experience at restaurants: I ordered take out at a Greek restaurant. When I arrived, the owner saw me & threw in…
from twitter_favs
7 days ago
Twitter
Modern Russia—a revanchist and autocratic mafia state—is pursuing the same geopolitical ends as the Soviet Union, b…
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7 days ago
Twitter
ELON MUSK: The "Child Hose" will allow the child to be squeezed through a hose in much the same way a turd is squee…
from twitter_favs
7 days ago
Twitter
v jealous of all of your cute and precocious childhood stories. mine is: my friends threw me (age 9? 10?) a surpris…
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7 days ago
Twitter
One of the jarring things about the Thai cave story: 41 people died when a boat capsized in Thailand on Thursday ev…
from twitter_favs
7 days ago
Twitter
Arrogant startup investor dick swinging Twitter might be the worst Twitter.
from twitter_favs
7 days ago
Twitter
the elon musk "child tube" is just his personal prototype for the canisters he's planning to make all tesla employe…
from twitter_favs
8 days ago
Twitter
absolutely, for example i’ve acquired a cat and almost hit 380 hours on breath of the wild
from twitter_favs
8 days ago
Twitter
The game takes a ton of time to learn, don't get discouraged. If u need any help, I can try to help u out.…
from twitter_favs
8 days ago
Twitter
me tweeting the weird shit cuz im awake at 5am for no reason
from twitter_favs
8 days ago
Twitter
Asking the real questions.
from twitter_favs
9 days ago
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