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RT : [supervisor pointing out two identical buttons] okay this one sends out a state wide ballistic missile alert, this…
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4 weeks ago
Twitter
Holy forking shirt this is the bad place
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5 weeks ago
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Related: as a child, I thought that Sprach Zarathustra was a German composer, and that we had a record…
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5 weeks ago
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in Germany I told one of my teachers that the English equivalent of a certain tense was "spake" because I was a dor…
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5 weeks ago
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RT : Pie restaurant from childhood hung signs with each pie name. As the night wore on, they would flip them over as the…
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5 weeks ago
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This country’s gonna elect a pro-drone warfare Oprah and a bunch of white trust fund kids are gonna call brown peop…
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5 weeks ago
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movies are never expecting us to take the characters' choice to watch black and white horror, the three stooges, de…
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5 weeks ago
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RT : Pro tip: Using the discourse marker “like” doesn’t mean you’re not smart, and sounding like a girl is not proof of…
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5 weeks ago
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i love and hate most presidents but this is phatic speech on blast again for no reason
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5 weeks ago
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just find the people who make you feel stronger then be yourself with them I don’t mean to sound like it’s easy it’…
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5 weeks ago
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A is haunting digital security. In my latest for the NYT, I discuss what we can learn from the sudden disc…
Spectre  from twitter_favs
5 weeks ago
Why Is It Called an 'Adam's Apple'? | Merriam-Webster
RT : In other news, Adam's apples have nothing to do with Adam.
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6 weeks ago
Twitter
if i built a house far away from the city would you come watch the stars with me? we could drink whisky on the roof…
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6 weeks ago
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will using the approved / can't fix option for an issue affect my accessibility score (e.g. for a fals…
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6 weeks ago
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how did wolverine even get that uber job in logan. what was that interview like (suddenly you realise i've been try…
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6 weeks ago
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RT : things that need to be banned from horror movies:
-offscreen kills
-any screaming lasting more than three seconds
-…
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6 weeks ago
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i think diners, drive ins, and dives is a good show for this reason. no fake drama, no viciousness, just a man show…
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7 weeks ago
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RT : Today is the traditional day the elf on the shelf receives his reward for 3 1/2 weeks of dutiful snitching: being l…
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7 weeks ago
Twitter
HOW TO PHOTOGRAPH BEES IN FLIGHT
1) Handheld DSLR natural lighting
2) Set lens to f9-11 - &
bee  macro  flower  from twitter_favs
7 weeks ago
Twitter
RT : Good boy got a good boy for Christmas and nothing else matters
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7 weeks ago
Twitter
Finally feeling better AND I SAY Christmas isn't over till I SAY it's over and THAT depends on the placement of bot…
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7 weeks ago
Twitter
The rule is you need to listen to Ella Fitzgerald's "Sleigh Ride" each Yuletide until the way she says giddy-up sou…
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7 weeks ago
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thank you all for sending me the trailer to the new Nicolas Cage is Crazy movie. I, too, look forward to watching N…
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7 weeks ago
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Love the first step in this Midwest snail ID guide
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7 weeks ago
Twitter
i showed up at a party and within seconds i heard a guy with immaculately gelled hair and a beard say the phrase "o…
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7 weeks ago
Twitter
How to get HQ Trivia for Android right now.
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7 weeks ago
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RT : It's true Scrooge sucked but it's pretty damn tight that he would just go around saying "humbug" at shit he didn't…
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7 weeks ago
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RT : One of the things about star wars is some of the guys are named stuff like zapquan jabbazoop and then another guys…
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7 weeks ago
Twitter
RT : Reactions to Socks as a Christmas Gift by Calendar Age:

0-3: blurb nurg (eats socks)
4-12: oh, socks
13-18: (SIGH)…
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7 weeks ago
Twitter
As a relatively successful and busy man who lives in the city, my greatest fear is losing my girlfriend to a hometo…
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7 weeks ago
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i'm sick but i have used yuletide magic to bless this fever: my dreams have been better and I will pass through thi…
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8 weeks ago
The Ballad of Gifto the Clown | Anthony Clark on Patreon
RT : It's that time of year again for the Ballad of Gifto the Clown:
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8 weeks ago
Twitter
RT : [laughs] [does not answer]
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8 weeks ago
Twitter
there are 2 "best christmas songs" - one is "go power at christmastime" by James Brown. the other is "The Christmas…
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8 weeks ago
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since reading the nyt article i've had to be careful about alcohol because i'm perpetually 2 beers away from alloys…
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8 weeks ago
Twitter
[INCOMING CARTOON ALERT]
I made a cartoon short with my friends! It would really mean a lot to me if you checked it…
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8 weeks ago
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My personally depressing aliens take is that aliens are real but technological civilization is probably brief by it…
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8 weeks ago
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yoda is such a fuckin hilarious character hes a little shitty swamp frog and he rolls up to luke's place and just s…
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8 weeks ago
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Just popping in to say the "adding more and more musical ornaments" run in this episode of Late Night with David Le…
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8 weeks ago
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Monarchs must have milkweed plants to survive. Sadly, the midwest grasslands that monarchs depend on is disappearin…
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8 weeks ago
Twitter
RT : Okay, so I just saw the new star wars, so I think my ranking now is
1. The Great Muppet Caper
2. The Muppet Movie…
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9 weeks ago
Twitter
From abandoned theme parks to absinthe bars, a collection of the strange, hidden, and wondrous places in New Orlean…
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9 weeks ago
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Me, doing standup: it seems to me that the real seven minutes in heaven is, the snooze button

Audience: snooze is…
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9 weeks ago
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RT : Realistically, users aren’t going to see blocking or weird “$1 per Google search” fee structures. They’re going to…
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9 weeks ago
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RT : I suspect the doomsday approach to net neutrality is going to backfire badly. Because if the sophisticated neutrali…
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9 weeks ago
Twitter
While many Australians and New Zealanders love this vintage candy for nostalgic reasons, others detest its shocking…
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9 weeks ago
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THE LAST JEDI: WHEN SUPREME LEADER SNOKE SHOWED UP I TURNED TO MY DATE AND SAID "WOW. STEPHEN MCHATTIE IS LOOKING L…
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9 weeks ago
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THE LAST JEDI: THERES A "COMEDY" BIT IN THIS SO FUCKING ABSURD AND INAPPROPRIATE ITS AS IF THE MAN WITH NO NAME BUS…
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9 weeks ago
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Whoa. Amazon is currently listing the hardcover edition of our book at $12.60, the lowest price we've ever seen!…
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9 weeks ago
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turned down some excitable randos who wanted to sit with me and now they're at the next table asking those people "…
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9 weeks ago
Twitter
RT : 1967: Camera pans across room with hundreds of newspaper clippings and photos pinned to the walls connected by red…
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9 weeks ago
Twitter
young man, there's no need to feel down/
i said, young man, i know of a great clown/
i said, young man, pagliacci's…
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9 weeks ago
Twitter
3. Finally worked up the nerve to release some personal music as well, in the form of my first non-soundtrack solo…
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9 weeks ago
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Does anyone wanna come chill on the ranch and just roll joints and tell me I'm doing a good job while I prune. Some…
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9 weeks ago
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It boggles my mind when something with a catchy soundtrack (Steven Universe, Bastion) doesn't make its songs availa…
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9 weeks ago
Untitled (https://oct.co/essays/best-beers-poker-night?mbid=social_twitter)
Like a great poker player, these table ready beers are sophisticated and unpredictable
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9 weeks ago
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letting horses know they are bullshit.
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9 weeks ago
Twitter
In the meadow we can build a snowman
And talk about the killer on the loose
We'll say "are you guilty" he'll say "n…
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10 weeks ago
Welcome to Twitter
Every young person I meet I tell all the things I wish someone had told me: travel more, care less, do more weird t…
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10 weeks ago
Twitter
laughing, she leans forward at the bar, her necklace suspends a small medallion with a design on it, some kind of a…
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10 weeks ago
Twitter
If your arrangement of "Good King Wenceslas" doesn't incorporate a french horn, you are effectively telling me that…
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11 weeks ago
Twitter
Star Trek TNG Season 7 Episode 20, "Journey's End"
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11 weeks ago
Twitter
Wrote about The Muppet Christmas Carol, the best Christmas movie.
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11 weeks ago
Twitter
RT : I'm sorry but this is amazing
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11 weeks ago
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