So, I wrote some Tyler Seguin/Jamie Benn porn based on this amazing post by [personal profile] sinsense about the universe she and others had created where promising rookies in the NHL were assigned an older player to ~kneel~ for as a training measure. GO READ THAT POST it is amazing if you're into that sort of thing.

Semi-related to my feelings about the combine: I snicker every time sports writers talk about a team "topping" or "edging" or "knotting" another team (because I am twelve), but it's those stories about how you can "ruin" a young player that make me think dirty things. Like, obviously letting your whole team gangbang your rookie will ruin him.

So you have to pair each rookie up with an older, more experienced player as a mentor (Kaner with Sharpy, AGally with Prust, etc). Because, especially for the highly ranked rookies, it’s a lot of pressure, they can get wound too tight, so they need to be put on their knees regularly by someone they trust. The Bruins didn’t do that for Segs, they let anyone fuck him, and look what happened. The Stars put him with Jamie over the summer and it settles him right down.

Hello and welcome to Dreamwidth Bubble: A Homestuck Fanhub! We are a community formed by fans of the webcomic Homestuck by Andrew Hussie over at http://www.mspaintadventures.com/. Every day well will host a different type of topic where we encourage participation and discussion. These can be anything from character discussions, to flash fiction, to ranting over your beloved OC’s! This is a place made by fans, for fans, and we simply ask that you encourage involvement and respect your fellow community bubblers!

It's like this. I was warning folks that I hadn't yet watched the last handful of eppies for FMA, and that if anyone spoiled me, they'd have to die loud and painful. So of course people decided to "spoil" me. Like how, in ep 51, Roy gets his WINGS and Ed is stabbed with SCARY GREEN ICE STUFF, and Seifer CRIES. Yes. Yes, it's FF8. DIE, PEOPLE. *hearts*

The Seven-Headed Serpent is sent on loan to Hydra. It goes about as well as you'd expect.

Sometimes, you listen to a podfic...and you love it....and it made your life better and more joyous for having listened to it... but then it comes time to leave feedback, and your brain freezes up. And with Amplificathon 2014 coming up in less than two weeks, you can feel free to multiply that brain freeze by a factor of ten.

There are things he doesn't remember. Some of which he knows.

"The thing is, Stiles has no interest whatsoever in going on a TV dating show. Deep down, in his heart of hearts - and publicly, to anyone who is foolish enough to bring up the topic - Stiles thinks it's kind of pathetic. Because it's all fake, for starters, like all "reality" TV is fake, but also he thinks the people who go on those shows are more interested in attention than love, so what's the point? It's like narcissistic masturbation with some television exhibitionism thrown in for good measure. And letting the entire nation - nay, the world - mock your lack of pick-up prowess? Noooo thank you."

Ahaha. Hahahahahaha. Okay dudes, you're gonna have to allow me a moment of modly...uh, ranting. Sort of.

You guys. The original draft of this paragraph said, somewhat facetiously, "Fuck yes we work hard on this. This year we did it through fucking chronic migraines, viral pneumonia, a month of involuntary couchsurfing, and various personal crises." And [personal profile] cantarina emailed that to me the week BEFORE we encountered, between us: a family death, a several-days long electrical blackout, and a broken modem which removed all home internet access (and PS, it's still not back). Not to MENTION AO3 bugs, broken Python code, and new Twitter DM restrictions.

(Actually, I'm lying to you. The original draft of the above paragraph originally said "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA #killme #bitchesbetterappreciate".)

BASICALLY: your mods have had A Month. Or a few Months. Whatever.

But you know what? If y'all will allow me to get sappy for a minute, you motherfuckers make all the work we do on this in the face of such adversity WORTH IT. Every year when Ca'rina and I get on Skype and talk to each other while we distribute gifts, and watch the squee pour in over our twitter feeds, we always say to each other, "jesus, THIS is why we do this, it makes it all worth it, wow." Because it does. So thank you thank you THANK YOU for being amazing, all of you, you literally give us the energy to continue to do this <3

You wake up to the sound of rain thundering hard and heavy against the roof of your apartment building.

Not!fic. Everybody's kind of relieved that Sid takes to Mario so well. The Creepy 'Verse.

Maybe they won the war? Maybe they just managed to slip through the Armada's defenses? Anyway humans land on Alternia.

They find nothing but children and teenagers (some of them probably wondering why they haven't been conscripted yet and where the ships are, so technically about to be considered adults but not officially adult yet)

Are the humans here to kill the mother grub? take control of it? do damage control now they've won and they're checking how the kids are being raised because sentient being rights and troll societal attitudes suck we're brainwashing them into a ~morally superior way of doing things? oh good lord this explains everything they're raised by animals, the internet and each other what really this is Lord of the Flies as a valid educational method -- WHAT happens to the orphans???

How much do the troll kids freak the fuck out seeing adult aliens? Do they try mounting a resistance? Do any humans adopt young orphans? what?

Please no gore and no canon character death, but apart from that anything is welcome. OCs are good, so are age-tweaked canon characters.

One is a majorly kinky adult man in his prime, who got to go to nightclubs and met people and had one night stands and learned through trial and error, and is now fairly relaxed about his needs.

The other is a teenager who thanks to the internet and his own reasoning has a lot of intellectual understanding and nothing else and zero real social experience, and the same needs and instincts and no outlet for them.

Their luck is running just about average.

Zack has the best worst ideas.

"My name is Karkat Vantas," you say when the recording starts. "Imperial ID number 4136-1211-15201. I'm applying for status as a pail slave. I'm," you swallow hard to try to clear the lump from your throat, "I'm unfit for standard contribution due to abnormal hemotype, but I want to serve my Empire to the best of my ability. I understand the physical demands of the position and," your voice cracks, "I'm training to be better prepared for them. I swear to cooperate readily and faithfully with my assigned user. I surrender my body to Imperial custody. All hail Her Imperious Condescension, and all hail her glorious Empire."

Fighters and Sacrifices.

Mako still gives you tentacles. And how.

Riku didn't actually create this monster; Zack was just born like that.

He's not the Sephiroth Zack knew...and Zack is totally on-board with that.

They've been looking for a cure.

People come to Waypoint for a reason.

Geno can't. Sidney won't.

A handy, helpful guide for all those thinking of falling into the Gundam Wing dimension from someone who already did it.

Avatar Toph does not like the North Pole. AU.

In breaking news, surprising no one, Sharpy is a dick.

Scott has boundaries, Stiles negotiates, the pack goes after what it wants, and a favor is a favor.

Yeah, Billy's a superhero, and that's awesome. But he's still a teenager, and that means answering to his folks.

The last thing you want to do with the guy you've been hung up on for ages is teach him how to be decent at sex. So of course, that's exactly what Geno does. Featuring interfering Russians, thorough devirginization, and equal parts alcohol imbibing and hockey playing.

prompt 069. House/Wilson -- first time with a dildo.

There are moments in Jim's life that act as axis points.

It really does take a village to raise a Jim.

"Cliche prompt: first times, with bonus sex pollen and voyeurism, because when you're trapped in a cave, you should have several other cliches with you."

"This is how you talk to women?" says Hardison from the peanut gallery. "Really?"

"Cordelia's been in the game long enough that she can spot a secret identity from a mile away."

In hindsight, maybe introducing the local werewolf contingent to the wonderful world of online gaming hadn't exactly been Stiles' best idea.

Slytherin Tony and Ravenclaw Bruce are assigned to be Potions lab partners in 7th year. They just want to win Slughorn's prize, but things get very strange, very quickly. And Tom Riddle sucks.

"Okay. Let's work on shelter first. You ever build a treehouse?"

Sh-t, Tavros's little impressed face kind of gets you right in the pump biscuit.

"The Bastard is not in love with me, and I can prove it. With science!"

Kurt and Blaine figure out a way to make Blaine feel like he's getting the attention he needs even when Kurt is too busy to talk.

John and Karkat find themselves on opposite ends of the universe after the game.

"We should check on Prospit," Jane says, one week into your probably pointless run through the gas-and-zombies weirdness that Sburb turned out to be.

In which xeno/inflation/mpreg/egg-laying is taken entirely too seriously, compulsive world building is showcased, and I pretend really hard that Gamzee might ever be a sympathetic character again. Originally found at: http://homesmut.dreamwidth.org/8447.html?thread=39867903

Author of the Crazy!Ed verse and Chaos Verse

Wherein Hogwarts is a hotbed for teen romcoms where the surly hot guy is really a romantic dork who pines after the oblivious nerd who love getting into trouble. Oh and there are dragons. AND FEELINGS. And magic, but that's really not important to the plot.

Teen Wolf/SGA team-fic, with Lydia being awesome. “This is a terrible idea,” Stiles tells the room again. “You’ll all be sorry when Derek pushes me off a cliff.”

These are not all lies.

There comes a moment in every man's life when he has to suck it up and admit that he's dating his rival.

I compiled all my Leverage recs to date in this post for convenience's sake. Over 100 recs at the moment... lots of genfic, a good number of Sophie/Nate, and a handful of other pairing combinations. Also a couple of vid recs. Enjoy. :o)

How to build a database to get the right person or people for every kinky contingency. One such task is suggested; readers are encouraged to submit more.

Steve thinks about sex a lot, and he'd like to have some, if he could just stop being an idiot around the people he'd like to have it with.

After the fighting is over, then come the hot baths, ice packs, resurrection from the dead, political maneuvering, and happy endings (not like that, Tony).

Steve is adapting well to the new millennium, and he has the dictionary to prove it.

Eliot found a way to make his style work at Dalton Academy. It just worked a little too well.

Eliot goes temporarily missing on a job in a greenhouse and Hardison goes to find him.

For once, football is not a metaphor for the quintessential gay college experience.

"The first time Steve meets Toni is about a week after he wakes up."

Bruce Wayne can't possibly be as dumb as he acts, and Clark Kent isn't as ordinary as he appears.

John wakes up in someone else’s body.

Steve Rogers is a capable leader, a kind and cheerful man, a good friend, a strong role model, and a loyal soldier. He's also teetering on the edge of suicide.

Hardison built a robot to fight, but he gave it artificial intelligence to win. He didn’t expect it to come to life and for it to become such a big part of his life.

CRAAAAAACK! Potential Valdemar AUs

His best friend keeps cockblocking him, his relationship guru is a computer, and he might be gay. The future is very complicated.

Neal is Kryptonian, was a con man and petty criminal on Krypton and had been tossed in the Phantom Zone when the planet exploded. Superman let him out when he noticed his sentence was up and Neal wandered around Earth passing as human for several years until he happened to break out of prison by pummeling a wall. Subsequently he convinced Peter to take him on as a consultant, with a specialty kryptonite anklet to make sure he would not be using his powers. Neal's Kryptonian criminal record has been a source of great amusement, that only grows greater the more I learn/extrapolate/make up about Kryptonian culture. Ahem.

It takes a lot to impress Starscream. But that? Was impressive.

And sometimes a car picks a driver with a crazy-jealous sword.

Sequel to "My Other Car Is A...."

He also loves his car.

"The fifth season of Supernatural, CW's paranormal drama, is scheduled for a return to our screens in autumn. Show creator Eric Kripke is reported to be "thrilled" with the news that show stars, Jared Padelecki and Jensen Ackles, have confirmed they'll be returning as brothers Dean and Sam Winchester. CW sources confirm that shooting is due to start soon with the first episode due to air on September 20th, 2012."

It's been nearly three years since the war against the alien race known as the Others changed the world and nearly four months since they were beaten back by Earth's natural superweapons, the dragons. Jared's looking forward to reconnecting with his best friend and picking up life where he left off. It doesn't seem much to ask but after three years, how much has really changed? And are the secrets Jensen's hiding better left alone?