opalsong + extra:humour   329

earth angel
Keith tells the truth, makes a friend, and bleeds. Lotor falls hard.

“Did you… Did you seduce the enemy?” Lance asks. “I didn’t know you had it in you.”

Keith frowns. “I didn’t seduce him.”

Silence descends and it’s one of those moments when he’s not in on the joke, because everyone is sharing looks.

“I didn’t,” Keith repeats.
fanwork  fandom:Voltron  pairing:Keith/Lotor  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:arahir  quality:sunfish  extra:fluff  extra:humour  extra:injury 
11 weeks ago by opalsong
Tsukumogami No Kankurou
While everyone in Suna concerns themselves with Gaara, terrified that the One-Tail might break free and rampage through their Village, they forget a few key facts.

First, that just because Shukaku is the largest demon in Suna does not make the Bijuu the only demon in Wind Country, or even the only demon sealed away in Hidden Sand.

Second, that Raza has two elder children that are just as capable of ushering in Suna's doom as their youngest sibling is.

Third, Kankurou is the overlooked middle child who just wants to play with his baby brother.

Remember these facts. They're important. Especially the third one.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  fandom:Muppets  pairing:gen  rating:G  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Sanjuno  quality:sunfish  extra:family  extra:humour 
11 weeks ago by opalsong
count my time in dog years
The Blade of Marmora takes measures to protect their youngest recruit.

Every eye in the room is on Keith, and the Blades are dead quiet and dead still for the first time in hours.

"Right? Guys?" Hunk shoots Keith a confused look, like he thinks Keith has a psychic connection with other Galra or something. He doesn't.

Kolivan gives a helpless little sound. "He’s eighteen? Eighteen—what?"

Hunk quirks an eyebrow. "Years...? Oh, wait," he hits Lance's shoulder. "What is that in space years?"
fanwork  fandom:Voltron  pairing:Shiro/Keith  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:arahir  quality:salamander  extra:agedifference  extra:establishedrelationship  extra:culturedifferences  extra:humour 
11 weeks ago by opalsong
How We Get Around
On an Inquisition trip to Starkhaven, Varric gets the idea in his head to introduce the subjects of his next novel to his girlfriend without the distraction of having to save the world. He may come to regret this.
fanwork  fandom:dragonage  pairing:Hawke/Varric  pairing:IronBull/Dorian  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Iambic  quality:sunfish  extra:humour  extra:crack 
11 weeks ago by opalsong
Harry Potter and the Problem of Potions
Once upon a time, Harry Potter hid for two hours from Dudley in a chemistry classroom, while a nice graduate student explained about the scientific method and interesting facts about acids. A pebble thrown into the water causes ripples.

Contains, in no particular order: magic candymaking, Harry falling in love with a house, evil kitten Draco Malfoy, and Hermione attempting to apply logic to the wizarding world.
fanwork  Fandom:HP  pairing:gen  rating:pg-13  length:chaptered  Length:Long  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Wyste  quality:whale  extra:humour  extra:crack  extra:DELIGHTFUL  extra:FixIt  extra:friendship  extra:family  extra:toPodfic  extra:permissiongranted 
11 weeks ago by opalsong
The Best Revenge
The best revenge is living well. And maybe also spitefully staging a minor political coup to take over Konoha as payback for getting stuck in an arranged marriage.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Asuma/Hidan  rating:nc-17  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  extra:arrangedmarriage  extra:au  extra:humour  extra:politics  extra:FixIt  extra:crack  extra:toPodfic 
11 weeks ago by opalsong
Routine Cum Therapy
The morning Eddie wakes up with his first hard-on in his post-Venom life, he finds himself at a bit of a loss.


Learning to get sexy with your symbiote.
fanwork  fandom:Venom  pairing:Eddie/Venom  rating:nc-17  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:SoftRegard  quality:sunfish  extra:xeno  extra:solo  extra:humour  extra:kink 
11 weeks ago by opalsong
The breakup starts with Magnus. Well, no, it doesn’t. The breakup starts when Alec finally says the words “I’m gay,” and Jace says “Okay?” and Alec looks at Magnus, out and proud, and happy, and he knows that he wants that. He wants to be able to hold hands, and kiss, and have sex without worrying about leaving hickeys where they might be seen.

Or: Alec wants a public relationship. He can't do that with Jace, so they break up, not very cleanly. Magnus steps in, and then Jace gets jealous.
fanwork  fandom:Shadowhunters  pairing:Alec/Magnus/Jace  rating:nc-17  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:HowDidIEndUpHere  extra:comingout  extra:jealousy  extra:humour  extra:PTSD  extra:fingering  quality:sunfish 
11 weeks ago by opalsong
forever is ours
Raphael sat on the living room chair, the cup of tea Magnus had practically forced on him balanced on his knee, while Magnus himself was slouched on the sofa, laughing. "You," he wheezed in between hysterical fits of giggles, "are going to propose? To Simon?" Raphael pursed his lips, praying for strength from anyone.
fanwork  fandom:Shadowhunters  pairing:Simon/Raphael  rating:pg-13  length:series  type:prose  site:AO3  author:owilde  pairing:Alec/Magnus  pairing:Clary/Izzy  quality:sunfish  extra:humour  extra:establishedrelationship  extra:proposal  extra:fluff 
11 weeks ago by opalsong
I know what you are (say it) bisexual
Simon tells himself,

It’s not gay, it’s not gay, I’m totally not checking him out, he just had that stain on his right trouser leg….

Raphael is, apparently, a rich as fuck vampire, because the suit shop they go in is fancy as hell. They park in the basement, because, uh, sunlight, and even though dusk has fallen it’s better to be safe than sorry (sorry meaning dead). Raphael keeps smirking, which does nothing to help Simon’s inner mantra that consists of

I’m straight, I’m straight holy fuck is he licking his lip- I’m straight..

“This,” the vampire announces as they walk into the shop, smiling faintly, looking, almost for the first time since Simon’s met him, as if he’s relaxed, “is the greatest place in the world, Simon Lewis.”

He looks at him then, grinning, eyes dark, shining, looking more polished than ever but somehow oddly vulnerable, and Simon’s breath hitches, his insides turning to goo.

His mantra becomes

Let me not jump him, or, at least, not in public..
fanwork  fandom:Shadowhunters  pairing:Simon/Raphael  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:thankyouforexisting  quality:sunfish  extra:humour  extra:crack  extra:Denial  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
11 weeks ago by opalsong
I'm coming up for light
“What is that?” Tobirama demands incredulously.

“Your way out of this system,” Kushina says cheerfully, and Tobirama suddenly understands far better why she’s hanging on his arm like she’s going to physically pin him in place.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  Fandom:SW  pairing:Minato/Tobirama  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  extra:crossover  extra:humour  extra:toPodfic  extra:wishList 
11 weeks ago by opalsong
we're either a romance novel or a cheap teen drama
Kurenai looks thoughtful. “So you want help picking someone who will annoy him?”

“I want help picking someone who will give him an aneurism,” Asuma corrects, because he’s always been a fan of go big or go home.

“Pissing off the mayor seems like a bad idea,” Raidō ventures after a moment, but he’s already looking around the lunchroom, scanning for targets.

Asuma snorts. “I'm not pissing off the mayor, I'm pissing off my father,” he says. “Despite what he wants to think, there is a difference.”
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Asuma/Hidan  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  extra:au  Extra:HighSchool  extra:modern  extra:humour  Extra:Pretend!Relationship  extra:toPodfic  extra:wishList 
11 weeks ago by opalsong
“You want me to what?” Hidan demands.

“Meet my team,” Asuma repeats patiently, like that’s going to magically change it into a good idea.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Asuma/Hidan  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  extra:au  extra:humour  extra:establishedrelationship  extra:toPodfic  extra:wishList 
11 weeks ago by opalsong
hydrogen in our veins (it cannot hold itself)
“He’s hot, isn't he?” Izuna asks, stealing one of Tobirama’s pens.

Entirely distracted by his thoughts, Tobirama grunts in agreement, then realizes exactly what he was confirming and snaps his head up to glare at Izuna. Izuna just laughs in his face, and Tobirama groans and presses a hand over his eyes.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Tobirama/Zabuza  pairing:Izuna/Orochimaru  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  extra:au  extra:modern  extra:humour  extra:friendship  extra:flirting 
11 weeks ago by opalsong
that sugar pill to dose me up
“Who is Team 7’s new sensei?” Iruka demands in horror, voice breaking about two octaves higher than is probably appropriate for a man his age.

Tsunade doesn’t even look up from her paperwork. “The Uchiha brat,” she says. And then, after a beat, “Wait, no, that’s Shisui. The other Uchiha brat. The one who dragged me back to this damn village to begin with.”
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Iruka/Obito  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  extra:leftofcenter  extra:humour  extra:crush  extra:pining 
11 weeks ago by opalsong
the chilliad: book one
au where the trojan war is a party menelaus throws to win back his girlfriend who left him for some douchebag and he ropes all his friends into helping him and wacky shenanigans happen and a running gag is that odysseus doesn’t even want to be there he’s got shit to do and at the end he gets stuck in traffic on the way home
fanwork  fandom:Illiad  pairing:multiple  rating:pg-13  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:private  author:mollyhall  quality:whale  extra:au  extra:humour 
11 weeks ago by opalsong
we're either a story for the ages or a cautionary tale
“Oh, fuck,” Squalo says, thankfully at about a quarter of his normal volume, as he tumbles to lean against the wall beside Xanxus. “This is like with that shitty Bronco all fucking over again, don’t you fucking dare.”
fanwork  fandom:Reborn  fandom:avengers  pairing:Steve/Xanxus  rating:pg-13  length:series  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  extra:crossover  extra:crack  extra:crush  extra:humour  extra:friendship 
11 weeks ago by opalsong
Nature's Revenge
Obito turns himself into the Whomping Willow. It goes great, right up until people start making a nuisance of themselves under his roots.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:gen  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  Length:Short  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  Fandom:HP  extra:humour  extra:FixIt  extra:crossover 
december 2018 by opalsong
Clear and Blue
“Reborn!” He squeaks, voice caught somewhere in his throat as panic starts to set in. Coming to the swift and horrible conclusion of what his sadist tutor is going to make him do.

His thoughts are proven right as Reborn begins to explain. “When searching, people tend to overlook the opposite sex. No one thinks a mafia boss will be willing to put on a dress just to escape from capture. They assume it is against their masculine pride or some such nonsense.” Reborn’s grin is practically predatory, obviously enjoying Tsuna’s discomfort. “That is why it always works if you know how to blend in correctly.”
aka; the fic where Tsuna goes undercover as a girl to a local festival to learn how to avoid being captured by enemies, but ends up sexually frustrating Yamamoto Takeshi who wasn't aware he had a very specific fetish.
fanwork  fandom:Reborn  pairing:Tsuna/Takeshi  rating:r  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:setoboo  quality:sunfish  Extra:Crossdressing  extra:fluff  extra:humour 
august 2018 by opalsong
crawling out from a spiral down
Obito glances over Sakura, sprawled out on the couch painting her nails, and raises a brow. “I thought Kakashi told you to leave?”

“Ha.” Sakura checks her nails, then starts applying another coat. “He has like three hundred sports channels. I'm not moving an inch.”
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Kakashi/Obito  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  Length:Short  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:crocodile  extra:au  fandom:leverage  extra:crossover  extra:humour  extra:friendship  extra:podficced! 
august 2018 by opalsong
The life and times of Hatake Kakashi, the long-suffering jōnin-sensei
Kakashi is being trolled. He doesn’t know how that can be, but he knows with utmost certainty that he’s being trolled somehow.


Kakashi gets saddled with the cheekiest little brats ever and wonders if it's too late to become a missing nin.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:gen  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:FeelingsDusk  quality:sunfish  Extra:TimeTravel  extra:humour 
august 2018 by opalsong
Sasuke starts calling Naruto "the missus" behind his back two months after moving in with him. It was, in retrospect, akin to ritual suicide.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  Pairing:Naruto/Sasuke  rating:G  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:weialala  quality:sunfish  extra:humour 
august 2018 by opalsong
Karmic Justice
A what if, of a what if...

What if the Vongola Tenth Generation were to be raised by Uchiha Madara and Senju Tobirama?

Well, for one thing they don't even bother with pretending to be nice people. For another, Madara is born into the Hibari family.

Yes. Madara. Also yes. Those Hibari.
fanwork  fandom:Reborn  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Tobirama/Madara  rating:r  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Sanjuno  quality:sunfish  extra:sequel  extra:crossover  extra:humour  extra:Grey  extra:crack  extra:dark 
august 2018 by opalsong
New Jersey
After an unexpected growth spurt, Yurio has a creative solution for his career going forward. Victor does not approve.
fanwork  fandom:YuriOnIce  pairing:Yuuri/Victor  pairing:Yurio/Otabek  rating:G  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:so_shhy  quality:salamander  extra:fluff  extra:humour 
july 2018 by opalsong
you're running (trying to break free)
“What,” Kakuzu says flatly.

The redheaded witch who foiled his assassination sips her tea, for all the world like Kakuzu isn't trussed up like a sacrificial offering at her feet. “I said my husband thinks you're handsome,” she repeats, as if that will remove the sheer insanity from those five words.

“I tried to kill him,” Kakuzu says incredulously. “I stabbed him in the chest.”
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Hashirama/Mito/Kakuzu  rating:r  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  extra:proposal  extra:humour  extra:toPodfic 
july 2018 by opalsong
Consumed by Star Wars Feelings
Me and my husband, watching a martial arts film]
Me: See, now this is how the Jedi should have recruited their Padawans: you find some dude and then challenge him to a fight, and if he kicks your ass you then have to beg him to teach you.
fanwork  Fandom:SW  pairing:gen  rating:G  Length:CommentFic  type:prose  site:tumblr  author:lurkingcrow-forcearama-lurkingcrow  quality:sunfish  extra:au  extra:humour  extra:not!fic 
july 2018 by opalsong
plant your hopes with good seeds
Sentinel, Genma thinks, and it’s not really a surprise—the Shiranui Clan have always produced about equal numbers of Guides and Sentinels—but…

Guide, something in him whispers, and it’s desperate, grasping, clinging to the beat of the man’s heart. Guide, Guide, Guide, and Genma breathes him in, feels the stirring deep in his soul that tastes of old things and instincts and wants to reach—
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Genma/Obito  rating:r  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  extra:au  Fandom:Sentinel  extra:bond  extra:humour  extra:toPodfic  extra:wishList 
july 2018 by opalsong
there's a trapdoor hidden in my heart
Zabuza's first mission out of the village with his genin team takes them right through hostile territory. What a surprise that it goes south.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Kakashi/Zabuza  rating:nc-17  Length:LongShot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  extra:au  extra:humour  extra:role-swap  extra:secretID  extra:politics 
july 2018 by opalsong
ghosts can't pick up power drills (probably)
“What you’re suggesting is that we have sex in the exact spot where a dude was once brutally murdered with a power drill. That is what you’re suggesting to me right now.”

Shane throws up his hands. “Well, sure, when you say it like that, it sounds ridiculous.”
fanwork  fandom:Unsolved  pairing:Shane/Ryan  rating:r  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:anarchetypal  quality:sunfish  extra:humour 
july 2018 by opalsong
take my pain (turn it into gold)
Neji is nineteen. He’s Hokage. The House system has officially been demolished, and the key to his seal, to every Caged Bird Seal, is sitting on the desk in front of him.

It feels like freedom, and maybe a little like terror.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Kiba/Neji  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  extra:future  extra:friendship  extra:FixIt  extra:humour 
july 2018 by opalsong
The Triumph of Time
The first person Kakashi meets when he staggers out of the house, covered in blood, is Uchiha Obito.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Orochimaru/Sakumo  rating:r  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  Extra:TimeTravel  extra:FixIt  extra:family  extra:humour  extra:angst 
july 2018 by opalsong
with friends like these
If she isn’t utterly mistaken, there's a flush rising in Orochimaru’s pale cheeks, one she only ever used to see when Jiraiya was being especially handsy during their genin days. It’s been a long time since Orochimaru got over that particular crush, and Tsunade stares at him now, at the averted eyes and rising color and aggrieved slant to his mouth, and feels glee bubbling up inside of her.

“Really?” she says, delighted. “Who?”
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Orochimaru/Sakumo  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  extra:humour  extra:friendship  extra:crush 
july 2018 by opalsong
' "What," Hinata says, "like you're suddenly going to become a kabedon master?"

The idea itself is hilarious. Kageyama has all the timing and subtlety of a tyrannosaurus in a china shop. Hinata sees no reason to be wary.

"We'll see," Kageyama says darkly. "We'll see." '


When Hinata introduces Kageyama to the concept of kabedon, he isn't expecting to create a monster. But all origin stories have humble (sometimes very humble) beginnings...
fanwork  fandom:Haikyuu!!  pairing:Hinata/Kageyama  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Esselle  quality:crocodile  extra:humour  extra:romance  extra:gettingtogether  extra:flirting  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
july 2018 by opalsong
But We Were Dragons
Dragon Age II AU: In which Hawke meets Flemeth and the prologue goes differently.

You shouldn't say, "I want to be a dragon," to a witch. What are you going to do if she takes you seriously?
fanwork  fandom:dragonage  pairing:gen  rating:pg-13  length:series  type:prose  site:AO3  author:LullabyKnell  quality:sunfish  Extra:MagicalCreature  extra:family  extra:FixIt  extra:characterstudy  extra:humour  extra:friendship 
july 2018 by opalsong
So I’ve decided to play a Dragon Age...
…despite having literally never played a single video game beyond the mario one that came with the wiiu

or dream daddy. dream daddy probably does not count
fandom:dragonage  rating:pg-13  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:tumblr  extra:meta  extra:humour  quality:crocodile 
july 2018 by opalsong
this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
The lights of Konoha are coming on in the dusk, like stars against the shadows, and Tobirama pauses, standing atop his brother’s carved stone face as he looks over the village. Change has touched every part of it, but at a single glance Tobirama can tell that the foundations are still there. The Will of Fire, loyalty, teamwork, sacrifice in the name of the future.

Love is something large, with a thousand facets, and Tobirama only knows very few of them, but of all the world’s wonders Konoha is the easiest for him to love.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Kakashi/Tobirama  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  extra:humour  extra:friendship 
july 2018 by opalsong
if you can find that leap of faith
“I think,” Shisui declares, and kind of distantly hopes he isn’t about to die a messy death, “that this calls for a kidnapping.”

There's a moment of absolute silence.

“What,” Utakata demands.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Utakata/Shisui  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  extra:humour  extra:flirting 
july 2018 by opalsong
Extended Metaphors
It had been a drunken whim, coming on the heels of his breakup with Yugao, to add his name to the list of candidates for political marriages, and even when he’d remembered the next morning Hayate had waved off the notion that anyone would pick him.

Most people are at least mildly alarmed by a shinobi with a chronic illness, after all.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Zabuza/Hayate  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  Length:Short  extra:arrangedmarriage  extra:humour  extra:podficced! 
july 2018 by opalsong
The Scheming Hearts Club
For a prompt on my Tumblr: Playboy!Orochimaru who ends up with Single Dad!Sakumo in the end. No understands what happened.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Orochimaru/Sakumo  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  Length:Short  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  extra:au  extra:modern  extra:humour  extra:podficced! 
july 2018 by opalsong
so the days float through my eyes
Orochimaru, Mito has come to realize, has a good many of the qualities that made her brother-in-law so fearsome, and she’s glad for it.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Orochimaru/Sakumo  rating:G  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  Length:Short  extra:au  extra:humour  extra:family 
july 2018 by opalsong
After the incident and leaving the warehouse, Owen sees something.
He sees it.
But he can't believe it.
fanwork  fandom:JurassicPark  pairing:Claire/Owen  rating:G  length:oneshot  Length:Short  type:prose  site:AO3  author:whitebeltwriter  quality:sunfish  extra:awesome!Ladies  extra:humour 
july 2018 by opalsong
walk, walk, fashion baby
Sakumo loses a bet and has to cover the fashion beat for a week. It's not nearly the trial he expected it to be.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Orochimaru/Sakumo  rating:r  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  extra:au  extra:modern  extra:fluff  extra:humour  extra:flirting 
july 2018 by opalsong
At the corner of your lips, as the orbit of your hips
“You sure you want to do this?” Tōka asks, doesn’t let her gaze waver from the mercenary with a gun to her cousin’s head. Her own are completely steady, and she doesn’t miss a step as she turns, following the woman’s retreat deeper into the cave.

“Sorry, Tōka,” Mito says, and the tone is light but there's a look in her eyes that Tōka is fairly sure is rueful. “I'm too pretty to stay in prison for the rest of my life."
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Touka/Mito  pairing:Tobirama/Madara  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  extra:au  extra:flirting  extra:humour  extra:proposal 
july 2018 by opalsong
Early Morning Workouts
Lance and Keith had no idea what they were in for when Hunk joined them for an early-morning workout...
AKA: Keith and Lance realize that they are both very gay, and that Hunk is very Hot
fanwork  fandom:Voltron  pairing:Lance/Keith/Hunk  rating:G  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:vulcanhighblood  quality:sunfish  extra:pining  extra:humour 
june 2018 by opalsong
mace windu unfucks the timeline
oh my god I just read a post that was like “fuck this nonsense send MACE WINDU back in time to unfuck the prequels!!” and now I will never, ever be satisfied until I find the 300k version of that fic, ever. I NEED THIS FIC LIKE I NEED AIR. WHY IS THIS FIC NOT ALREADY IN MY HANDS??
fanwork  Fandom:SW  pairing:gen  rating:pg-13  Length:CommentFic  Length:Long  type:prose  site:tumblr  author:suzukiblu  quality:crocodile  Extra:TimeTravel  extra:FixIt  extra:humour  Extra:Kid!Fic 
june 2018 by opalsong
Accidental Jedi Han Solo, Worst Omega Ever
Han Solo: Worst Omega Ever meeting Han Solo: Worst ALPHA Ever, of course, obviously that would have to happen. OBVIOUSLY. both Leias are doomed. and also inappropriately turned on. and also DOOMED. so I guess this is a Star Wars post now whoops.
fanwork  Fandom:SW  pairing:Luke/Han/Leia  rating:pg-13  Length:CommentFic  type:prose  site:tumblr  author:suzukiblu  quality:sunfish  extra:not!fic  extra:humour  extra:crack  extra:alpha/omega 
june 2018 by opalsong
Edna's Intervention
At the end of each school year, UA hires a consultant to evaluate the costumes the first year students designed for themselves, to make sure they are both aesthetically appropriate and safe to use.

That consultant is Edna Mode.

i.e. A story where Edna Mode comes to UA and gives costume advice to Class 1A. And she isn't afraid to call people out about their questionable choices.
fanwork  fandom:MyHeroAcademia  rating:G  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:RoseJennison  quality:sunfish  extra:humour  extra:crossover  extra:costume  fandom:Incredibles  extra:podficced! 
june 2018 by opalsong
Guy Bffs Try Gross Lubes Off of One Another
AU where Buzzfeed still won’t give us the Unsolved merch we deserve, but this they at least do provide.
fanwork  fandom:Unsolved  pairing:Shane/Ryan  rating:r  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:cactsu  quality:sunfish  extra:humour  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
june 2018 by opalsong
i laugh at the concept of life as a simple result of the sun
“-my mother was not Lyanna fucking Stark!” Jon exclaimed, before turning and kicking, vehemently at the sofa, enough to leave brown dustmarks on the purple cloth. He turned back to her, lifting a finger threateningly. “I don’t care what you say. But our father would never- never- sleep with his sister, in fact I don’t even know why I’m telling you this because guess what, Sansa? You should already know that!”

[Sansa tries to tell Jon who his mother is. Jon thinks he’s an incest-baby. Which........ isn’t wrong.]
fanwork  fandom:GameofThrones  pairing:gen  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Dialux  quality:sunfish  extra:au  extra:modern  extra:family  extra:crack  extra:humour 
june 2018 by opalsong
In which Amanda finds out that her dad ended up dating every dad in the cul-de-sac in one, big, happy, polyamorous relationship. based on a post that catsforartists made on tumblr
fanwork  fandom:DreamDaddy  pairing:Dadsona/All  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Bronzeflower  quality:salamander  extra:humour  extra:crack  extra:poly 
june 2018 by opalsong
and the story's brand new
For a prompt on my Tumblr: shisui trying very hard not to stare at utakata's chest and Those Pecs and Abs and Everything Hes Gorgeous Help and utakata mistaking it for being curious about his pipe and starts infodumping about his bubbles
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Utakata/Shisui  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  Length:Short  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  extra:humour 
june 2018 by opalsong
Wisdom Teeth
Lucien gets his wisdom teeth out, and like any good father, Damien makes sure to record this milestone of his son's life.
fanwork  fandom:DreamDaddy  pairing:Lucien/Ernest  rating:G  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Creatortan  quality:salamander  extra:humour  extra:drugs  extra:family  extra:fluff 
june 2018 by opalsong
waiting here for catastrophe
“Ryan.” Shane breaks off and sits down again, slides his chair closer to Ryan’s, stares him down. “God, fuck, look at me, okay, I did this. I did this, this is my case, this is mine, everything you’re talking about—”

Ryan can’t help it: he laughs. It comes out a little anxiously, but it’s a laugh all the same, because Shane can’t really expect him to buy into this, right?

And Shane looks—well, murderous is either the wrong word or the right one. “I’m not kidding.”

“You really want me to believe—”

“You entertain all possible theories, right?” Shane says, exasperated and angry, and Ryan notices it’s the first time he’s ever said that seriously. “That’s what this stupid show is—that’s what you do. So entertain this one.”

All at once, it stops being funny. Something the size of a golf ball seems to lodge itself high in Ryan’s throat. He realizes it’s alarm, fear, a caged bird thrashing against the bars inside himself. He’s waiting for Shane to break, to burst into laughter, to say it’s all a stupid joke, but it doesn’t happen.

“What the fuck,” he croaks out.
fanwork  fandom:Unsolved  pairing:Shane/Ryan  rating:r  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:anarchetypal  quality:salamander  extra:serialkiller  extra:humour 
june 2018 by opalsong
“So, how long have you and Shane been dating?” Jen asks.

If Ryan had already taken a sip of his coffee, he would’ve done a spit take right now. Instead, he just sends her an incredulous look. “Shane and I are what?”

Or, Ryan and Shane's life would be so much easier if they just talked to each other.
fanwork  fandom:Unsolved  rating:G  pairing:Shane/Ryan  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:rocketshiptospace  quality:sunfish  extra:accidentalDating  extra:humour  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:oblivious 
june 2018 by opalsong
The Wishing Well
“Midoriya,” Aizawa said slowly as if the sound of his name alone took ten years off his life. “I’m going to need you to run that by me again.”

“I said I need to punch Endeavor in the face.”

“That’s what I thought you said.”
fanwork  fandom:MyHeroAcademia  pairing:gen  rating:G  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:theslytherinpaladin  quality:sunfish  extra:magic  extra:FixIt  extra:humour  extra:toPodfic  extra:wishList 
june 2018 by opalsong
Shameless Dave/Karkat Porn
The thing about Karkat Vantas is, he might be a pompous, noisy windbag with an inflated opinion of his own importance, and if he was suddenly struck down by some kind of vicious troll laryngitis the universe's total amount of chill and quiet would suddenly go up three levels...

But turns out he's also a great fuck.
fanwork  fandom:Homestuck  pairing:Dave/Karkat  rating:nc-17  time:10:00-30:00  Type:PodFic  author:askerian  performer:hananobira  quality:crocodile  extra:Denial  extra:humour  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:xeno  extra:ITPE2017  extra:ForMe! 
january 2018 by opalsong
The Red Shirt Job
"Seriously. How does this not bother you," Alec said, staring at the mirror as he tugged the hem of his primary-colored overtunic into place.
fanwork  Fandom:StarTrek  fandom:leverage  pairing:gen  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:jedibuttercup  quality:sunfish  extra:crossover  extra:humour 
december 2017 by opalsong
How soft your fields so green
The Asgardians' ship stops for supplies. The price is not what Thor and Loki had expected; the aliens demand nothing less than a public royal fucking.

Ok, it's not like it's the weirdest thing they've ever done.
fanwork  fandom:avengers  pairing:thor/loki  rating:nc-17  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:ravenbringslight  quality:sunfish  extra:humour  Extra:SexPollen  extra:publicsex  Extra:Incest  extra:family  extra:firsttime 
december 2017 by opalsong
The Perils of Fungi
“Yeah, he’ll be fine,” Derek says evenly, hoping Scott is too freaked out to sense that it’s at least two-thirds of a lie because Derek probably knows what this is and Stiles is probably going to be just fine, but poking purple mushrooms with sticks has consequences, dammit.
fanwork  fandom:TeenWolf  pairing:Stiles/Derek  rating:nc-17  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:the_deep_magic  quality:salamander  Extra:SexPollen  extra:dubcon  extra:firsttime  extra:virgin  extra:humour 
december 2017 by opalsong
A Missed Adventure
Nami would like to say that no one ever spoke of the incident again. This might be the case, if it wasn't for the part where Zoro's new nickname was 'First Wife.'
fanwork  fandom:OnePiece  pairing:gen  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  Length:Short  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Methoxyethane  quality:salamander  extra:humour  extra:crack  Extra:Pretend!Relationship 
december 2017 by opalsong
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