opalsong + extra:crack   157

Kintsugi
Broken, sealed, it doesn't matter which. Reborn leaves Hayato and Tsuna in the middle of nowhere. Neither come back the same. Nor will the Mafia quite know what hit it.
fanwork  fandom:KHR  pairing:gen  rating:pg-13  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Aoife  extra:worldbuilding  extra:crack  quality:salamander 
1 hour ago by opalsong
Naruto and the Children of Chaos (Or: how to raise adorable murder children and take over the mafia world)
When Uzumaki Naruto breathed his last, he didn’t expect to wake up in the world of the living again. He was old, and tired, and so, so ready to move on. And, well...he wanted to see his wife again, dammit.

But, of course, that wasn't what happened.

Why? Naruto screamed at the powers-that-loved-to-fuck-with-his-life-and-now-his-afterlife-too, with tears streaking down his cheeks, feeling cold, weak, hungry, and utterly disgusted.

Because you’re everybody’s bitch, Kurama helpfully supplied.
fanwork  fandom:KHR  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:gen  rating:pg-13  length:series  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Millarca  quality:sunfish  extra:crossover  extra:humour  Extra:Kid!Fic  extra:family  extra:reincarnation  extra:crack  extra:FixIt 
yesterday by opalsong
Uchiha Itachi must die
Itachi was a good looking troubled teenager left to wander the country unsupervised in the company of a group of insane criminals. He may have made a few questionable decisions involving alcohol and women. It is also worth noting that no-one actually got around to explaining the use of a condom to him. The results are depressingly predictable. Or the one where Itachi missed shinobi sex ed and ended up creating spawn across half the elemental nations, which Sasuke somehow ends up responsible for.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:gen  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Dissenter  quality:sunfish  extra:crack  Extra:Kid!Fic 
18 days ago by opalsong
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world
Tsuna is dead. Hayato decides that is Not Acceptable. And proceeds to break space time to fix it. He regrets nothing.
Except for the fact that he arrives back in Italy, half a world away from his Sky. He then embarks on the epic mafia road trip from hell to find his Sky, along with three escaped lab experiments, one kidnapped mafia heir, one runaway schoolkid on a field trip to Paris, and a dog called Spot.
Or the one where Hayato is incredibly Extra about everything, and no-one but Dino notices.
fanwork  fandom:KHR  pairing:gen  rating:pg-13  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Dissenter  quality:sunfish  Extra:TimeTravel  extra:FixIt  Extra:Kid!Fic  extra:roadtrip  extra:crack  extra:death 
18 days ago by opalsong
Now in the errant sun
In which Tsuna has some fairly inconvenient opinions, Iemitsu has been happily living in denial for years, and Reborn now somehow has to sell organised crime to a bunch of student hippie activists. He is not amused.
fanwork  fandom:KHR  pairing:gen  rating:pg-13  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Dissenter  quality:sunfish  extra:crack  extra:humour  extra:politics 
18 days ago by opalsong
Tsukumogami no Kankurou
While everyone in Suna concerns themselves with Gaara, terrified that the One-Tail might break free and rampage through their Village, they forget a few key facts.

First, that just because Shukaku is the largest demon in Suna does not make the Bijuu the only demon in Wind Country, or even the only demon sealed away in Hidden Sand.

Second, that Raza has two elder children that are just as capable of ushering in Suna's doom as their youngest sibling is.

Third, Kankurou is the overlooked middle child who just wants to play with his baby brother.

Remember these facts. They're important. Especially the third one.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  fandom:Muppets  pairing:gen  rating:G  time:10:00-30:00  Type:PodFic  author:Sanjuno  performer:Arioch  extra:crossover  extra:crack  extra:family  extra:ForMe!  extra:ITPE2018  quality:salamander 
january 2019 by opalsong
How We Get Around
On an Inquisition trip to Starkhaven, Varric gets the idea in his head to introduce the subjects of his next novel to his girlfriend without the distraction of having to save the world. He may come to regret this.
fanwork  fandom:dragonage  pairing:Hawke/Varric  pairing:IronBull/Dorian  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Iambic  quality:sunfish  extra:humour  extra:crack 
december 2018 by opalsong
Harry Potter and the Problem of Potions
Once upon a time, Harry Potter hid for two hours from Dudley in a chemistry classroom, while a nice graduate student explained about the scientific method and interesting facts about acids. A pebble thrown into the water causes ripples.

Contains, in no particular order: magic candymaking, Harry falling in love with a house, evil kitten Draco Malfoy, and Hermione attempting to apply logic to the wizarding world.
fanwork  Fandom:HP  pairing:gen  rating:pg-13  length:chaptered  Length:Long  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Wyste  quality:whale  extra:humour  extra:crack  extra:DELIGHTFUL  extra:FixIt  extra:friendship  extra:family  extra:toPodfic  extra:permissiongranted 
december 2018 by opalsong
The Best Revenge
The best revenge is living well. And maybe also spitefully staging a minor political coup to take over Konoha as payback for getting stuck in an arranged marriage.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Asuma/Hidan  rating:nc-17  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  extra:arrangedmarriage  extra:au  extra:humour  extra:politics  extra:FixIt  extra:crack  extra:toPodfic 
december 2018 by opalsong
I know what you are (say it) bisexual
Simon tells himself,

It’s not gay, it’s not gay, I’m totally not checking him out, he just had that stain on his right trouser leg….

Raphael is, apparently, a rich as fuck vampire, because the suit shop they go in is fancy as hell. They park in the basement, because, uh, sunlight, and even though dusk has fallen it’s better to be safe than sorry (sorry meaning dead). Raphael keeps smirking, which does nothing to help Simon’s inner mantra that consists of

I’m straight, I’m straight holy fuck is he licking his lip- I’m straight..

“This,” the vampire announces as they walk into the shop, smiling faintly, looking, almost for the first time since Simon’s met him, as if he’s relaxed, “is the greatest place in the world, Simon Lewis.”

He looks at him then, grinning, eyes dark, shining, looking more polished than ever but somehow oddly vulnerable, and Simon’s breath hitches, his insides turning to goo.

His mantra becomes

Let me not jump him, or, at least, not in public..
fanwork  fandom:Shadowhunters  pairing:Simon/Raphael  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:thankyouforexisting  quality:sunfish  extra:humour  extra:crack  extra:Denial  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
december 2018 by opalsong
we're either a story for the ages or a cautionary tale
“Oh, fuck,” Squalo says, thankfully at about a quarter of his normal volume, as he tumbles to lean against the wall beside Xanxus. “This is like with that shitty Bronco all fucking over again, don’t you fucking dare.”
fanwork  fandom:avengers  pairing:Steve/Xanxus  rating:pg-13  length:series  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  extra:crossover  extra:crack  extra:crush  extra:humour  extra:friendship  fandom:KHR 
december 2018 by opalsong
Karmic Justice
A what if, of a what if...

What if the Vongola Tenth Generation were to be raised by Uchiha Madara and Senju Tobirama?

Well, for one thing they don't even bother with pretending to be nice people. For another, Madara is born into the Hibari family.

Yes. Madara. Also yes. Those Hibari.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Tobirama/Madara  rating:r  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Sanjuno  quality:sunfish  extra:sequel  extra:crossover  extra:humour  extra:Grey  extra:crack  extra:dark  fandom:KHR 
august 2018 by opalsong
Accidental Jedi Han Solo, Worst Omega Ever
Han Solo: Worst Omega Ever meeting Han Solo: Worst ALPHA Ever, of course, obviously that would have to happen. OBVIOUSLY. both Leias are doomed. and also inappropriately turned on. and also DOOMED. so I guess this is a Star Wars post now whoops.
fanwork  Fandom:SW  pairing:Luke/Han/Leia  rating:pg-13  Length:CommentFic  type:prose  site:tumblr  author:suzukiblu  quality:sunfish  extra:not!fic  extra:humour  extra:crack  extra:alpha/omega 
june 2018 by opalsong
i laugh at the concept of life as a simple result of the sun
“-my mother was not Lyanna fucking Stark!” Jon exclaimed, before turning and kicking, vehemently at the sofa, enough to leave brown dustmarks on the purple cloth. He turned back to her, lifting a finger threateningly. “I don’t care what you say. But our father would never- never- sleep with his sister, in fact I don’t even know why I’m telling you this because guess what, Sansa? You should already know that!”

[Sansa tries to tell Jon who his mother is. Jon thinks he’s an incest-baby. Which........ isn’t wrong.]
fanwork  fandom:GameofThrones  pairing:gen  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Dialux  quality:sunfish  extra:au  extra:modern  extra:family  extra:crack  extra:humour 
june 2018 by opalsong
Polydads
In which Amanda finds out that her dad ended up dating every dad in the cul-de-sac in one, big, happy, polyamorous relationship. based on a post that catsforartists made on tumblr
fanwork  fandom:DreamDaddy  pairing:Dadsona/All  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Bronzeflower  quality:salamander  extra:humour  extra:crack  extra:poly 
june 2018 by opalsong
A Missed Adventure
Nami would like to say that no one ever spoke of the incident again. This might be the case, if it wasn't for the part where Zoro's new nickname was 'First Wife.'
fanwork  fandom:OnePiece  pairing:gen  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  Length:Short  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Methoxyethane  quality:salamander  extra:humour  extra:crack  Extra:Pretend!Relationship 
december 2017 by opalsong
Best of Both Worlds
In which Sanji has grown as a person over the last two years away from the crew. A person who is a little bit evil. And Zoro has a boner. (Also, Usopp exists, though he sometimes wishes he didn't)
fanwork  fandom:OnePiece  pairing:Zoro/Sanji  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Methoxyethane  quality:salamander  Extra:Crossdressing  extra:humour  extra:crack 
december 2017 by opalsong
Keelhauled Into A Hurricane
"That's fine, you can go back to your own ship," Luffy dismissed easily. "But later on, when I become Pirate King, we're getting married!" The declaration held the kind of absolute finality that only Luffy could be capable of, and Law felt his jaw drop.
NOW COMPLETE :D
fanwork  fandom:OnePiece  pairing:Luffy/Law  rating:nc-17  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Methoxyethane  quality:sunfish  extra:humour  extra:fluff  extra:crack  extra:asexual  extra:friendship  extra:teambonding 
november 2017 by opalsong
Bruce Wayne Youtube Compilations
tim drake’s snapchat is 90% him making bruce wayne do normal middle-class american things and filming the results.
fanwork  fandom:dccomics  pairing:gen  rating:G  Length:CommentFic  type:prose  site:tumblr  author:tumblr  quality:sunfish  extra:crack  extra:humour  extra:family  extra:media 
august 2017 by opalsong
Superhero!AU
Aka everyone is a superhero or a sidekick or a damsel in distress in true comic style. Includes terrible hero names, almost everyone wearing spandex (Sakumo why must you be sensible and break the mold you nerd), ridiculousness, secret identity fails, and all of my favorite crack pairings. I would be sorry, but that would require a sense of shame and I misplaced mine long ago.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Tobirama/Madara  pairing:Izuna/Touka  pairing:Hashirama/Mito  pairing:Orochimaru/Sakumo  pairing:Iruka/Utakata  rating:nc-17  length:series  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:crocodile  extra:superhero  extra:au  extra:humour  extra:friendship  extra:secretID  extra:modern  extra:romance  extra:flirting  extra:fluff  extra:crack  extra:solo  extra:podficced! 
august 2017 by opalsong
Marshmallows and Other Sweets
Spinning off from Chapter 5 of Kintsugi, a threesome with a possessive Byakuran, a resigned Tsuna and a sleepy Shoichi.
fanwork  pairing:Tsuna/Shoichi/Byakuran  rating:nc-17  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Night-Mare  quality:seaotter  Extra:Threesome/Moresome  extra:dubcon  extra:crack  fandom:KHR 
august 2017 by opalsong
Kintsugi
Broken, sealed, it doesn't matter which. Reborn leaves Hayato and Tsuna in the middle of nowhere. Neither come back the same. Nor will the Mafia quite know what hit it.
fanwork  pairing:gen  rating:pg-13  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Night-Mare  quality:seaotter  extra:au  extra:worldbuilding  extra:crack  fandom:KHR 
august 2017 by opalsong
Everything I ever lost (now has been returned)
“It was science,” Tobirama huffs, turning his glare on Madara. “You left your DNA all over me, Uchiha. I was hardly about to pass up the opportunity.”

Obito debates clamping his hands over his ears and humming loudly. He did not need to know that in any shape or form, oh god.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Tobirama/Madara  pairing:Kakashi/Obito/Tenzo  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  extra:au  extra:friendship  extra:humour  extra:crack  extra:toPodfic  extra:wishList 
august 2017 by opalsong
Sex Sells
What if the box weapon maker wanted more funds? What sells better than weapons? Box sex toys! Absolute Crack with Bawdy Porn.
fanwork  pairing:Kyouya/Dino  pairing:Takeshi/Hayato  rating:nc-17  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Branch  quality:salamander  Extra:Toys  extra:crack  fandom:KHR 
july 2017 by opalsong
Burning Leaf
In a world where Fugaku has three sons, he wishes he'd stopped at the one. There's nothing wrong with the youngest, it's just...

The middle child.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:gen  rating:r  length:series  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Tsume_Yuki  quality:sunfish  extra:crossover  extra:reincarnation  extra:crack  extra:FixIt  fandom:KHR 
july 2017 by opalsong
could not make a wookiee intimidating
“Aw, come on,” says Anakin, glaring at the dice as if they’ve personally offended him. “You roll twenties for Ahsoka and not for me? I own you, you fuckers, the least you could do is do me a favor every once in a while.”

or: Anakin Skywalker's terrible luck strikes again at the worst time.
fanwork  Fandom:SW  pairing:gen  rating:G  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:QueenWithABeeThrone  quality:crocodile  Extra:Game  fandom:Dungeons&Dragons  Length:Short  extra:crack  extra:au  extra:podficced! 
july 2017 by opalsong
Night is Young and the Music's High
"Best press conference ever," the Japanese Nationals silver medalist says when asked. “Ten out of ten, would medal again.”

"I would die for Katsuki-kun," Minami declares, with terrifying sincerity.
fanwork  fandom:YuriOnIce  pairing:Yuuri/Victor  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:opalish  quality:sunfish  extra:crack  extra:media  extra:fluff  extra:future 
july 2017 by opalsong
Path of Gold
The one in which Tsuna and his friends consciously disperse to the four winds when they reach high school, and somehow, all of Tsuna's classmates manage to fall desperately for him before the end of their first year together. And have to find some way to deal with it, since life doesn't stop just because the most unremarkable guy in their year seemed to become irresistible overnight.

The most popular defense in their arsenal? Is the phrase, "Sawada Tsunayoshi? Makes. No. Sense."

(Or: All Tachibana Ren had wanted was to make a place for himself, away from Iwatobi and the protective hovering of his family. Nothing could have prepared him or the rest of his class for what getting through high school alongside one Sawada Tsunayoshi would mean for them in the long run.)
fanwork  fandom:Free!  pairing:Tsuna/Multi  pairing:Tsuna/Kyouko  pairing:Takeshi/Kyouya  rating:pg-13  Length:LongShot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Mortescryche  quality:sunfish  extra:future  Extra:HighSchool  extra:crossover  extra:dubcon  extra:friendship  extra:bond  extra:family  extra:queer  extra:bisexual  extra:slowbuild  extra:crack  extra:awesome!Ladies  extra:BAMF!Tsuna  extra:characterstudy  extra:ocpov  extra:growingup  extra:toPodfic  extra:wishList  fandom:KHR 
june 2017 by opalsong
Say Boys Don't You See Them Bones
In which Tsuna’s the Corpse Whisperer.

(Or: In the months he spends at the Varia Compound at Timoteo’s behest, Tsuna manages to stumble across enough forgotten dead bodies to fill entire cemeteries. And everyone is terribly amused. Except, y’know, for him.)
fanwork  pairing:gen  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Mortescryche  quality:sunfish  extra:crack  extra:humour  extra:death  extra:BAMF!Tsuna  extra:family  extra:friendship  extra:toPodfic  extra:wishList  fandom:KHR 
june 2017 by opalsong
When Bookmarks Were In Mustache Land
GEEK CHORUS
Holy shit. These guys are great.

MACIEJ
Singular! It's just little ol' me over here.

GEEK CHORUS
This dude is like Tom Hardy. He can't possibly be real. Maybe we should try this Pinboard thing out.

LONGTIME PINBOARD USERS
What's this? People are bookmarking fanfic on our website? Whatever will we do?

MACIEJ
I dunno guys, maybe try "/search/?query=bigboypanties+&mine"?
fanwork  fandom:Fandom  pairing:gen  rating:unrated  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:jedusaur  quality:sunfish  extra:meta  extra:crack 
may 2017 by opalsong
Cookie Predictions
It starts when he’s five, when his mother brings home a bag of fortune cookies and explains what the strips of paper inside them are for.
fanwork  pairing:gen  rating:G  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:cywscross  quality:sunfish  extra:magicalrealism  extra:au  extra:crack  extra:surprise!angst  fandom:KHR 
may 2017 by opalsong
Spawn
"You're fucking with me." Tim blinks up at his uncle – and he's never seen his uncle in full armor before, not in person. It's kind of daunting. "Please tell me you're fucking with me, spawn."
fanwork  fandom:dccomics  fandom:youngjustice  rating:G  pairing:gen  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:heartslogos  quality:sunfish  extra:family  extra:crack  extra:humour 
may 2017 by opalsong
Hoth Headcanons and the Saga of Stabby
We all know that Hoth was a simmering mess of hormones and stress and I would pay good money for a soap opera about them. Here are some things which Definitely Happened.

(Featuring Stabby who is definitely not a space doomba.)
fanwork  Fandom:SW  pairing:gen  rating:pg-13  Length:CommentFic  type:prose  site:tumblr  author:Tumblr  quality:sunfish  extra:crack  extra:robot 
january 2017 by opalsong
Customer Service in the Food Industry
They were starving. That was reason enough for Zeff to open the Baratie's doors and feed them, whoever the hell they were.
fanwork  fandom:OnePiece  pairing:gen  rating:pg-15  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:livejournal  author:maldoror  quality:sunfish  extra:crack  extra:future 
january 2017 by opalsong
If Jane Austen wrote The Empire Strikes Back
He dueled him for many a long minute, and then trapping him at the end of a gantry, removed his hand from his wrist. Luke was surprised, but said not a word beyond his cry of pain. After a silence of several minutes, Vader came towards him in an agitated manner, and thus began,
fanwork  Fandom:SW  Fandom:JaneAustin  pairing:gen  Length:CommentFic  rating:G  type:prose  site:tumblr  author:greenreticule  quality:sunfish  extra:humour  extra:crack 
january 2017 by opalsong
A Kiss from the Captain's Daugther
Scowling, fearsome and very much unwashed, the pirates surrounded their three prisoners. The mood was ugly, and a few suggestions were flying around on how to make it uglier still.
fanwork  fandom:OnePiece  pairing:gen  rating:pg  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:livejournal  quality:salamander  extra:au  extra:crack  author:maldoror 
december 2016 by opalsong
Aesthetic
Despite the fact that Nozaki constantly insists that he’ll follow Ken-san to any department, they hadn’t quite figured that he meant it. That was mistake number one.

Letting Nozaki-kun have free rein when it came to positioning them for his artwork, that was mistake number two.
fanwork  fandom:GekkanShoujoNozaki-kun  pairing:gen  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  Length:Short  type:prose  site:AO3  author:stepquietly  quality:sunfish  extra:crack  extra:pegging 
december 2016 by opalsong
Team Seven vs. Paperwork
From the Legendary Sannin, to Jiraiya's genin team with Namikaze Minato, to Minato's genin team of Rin, Obito, and Kakashi... Team Seven can't manage to hand in normal paperwork. The genin are either completely oblivious or having fun with this, the jounin-sensei are one step away from ripping all their hair out, and the formidable order of desk-shinobi is not pleased with this.

And then there's Team Kakashi.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:gen  rating:pg-13  length:series  type:prose  site:AO3  author:lullabyknell  quality:crocodile  extra:humour  extra:fluff  extra:paperwork  extra:crack  extra:podficced! 
december 2016 by opalsong
It's That Time
It's that time of the month for the Straw Hats and a new Marine recruit learns why they should stay far, far away. WARNING: CRACK!!!
fanwork  fandom:OnePiece  pairing:gen  rating:pg-13  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:elvenarchress  quality:salamander  extra:menstruation  Extra:GenderBender  extra:crack 
december 2016 by opalsong
A Perfectly Fine Butt
Yuri has joined the conversation.
v-nikiforov: d i b s <3 <3 <3

Phichit makes a group chat to keep up with the other Grand Prix Finalists. It goes about as well as you'd expect.
fanwork  fandom:YuriOnIce  pairing:Yuuri/Victor  rating:G  length:oneshot  Length:Short  type:prose  site:AO3  author:maraudeuse  quality:sunfish  extra:fluff  extra:IM  extra:crack  extra:humour  extra:toPodfic  extra:wishList 
december 2016 by opalsong
Every Time That You Get Undressed (I Hear Symphonies In My Head)
Damn puberty.

Lance blames space.

Space puberty.

Space puberty is making life super difficult for him--especially since now, he can't STOP looking at Shiro and his buff arms and his great thighs and his great actually everything.

[Lance, due to the wonders of Space Puberty, is super into Shiro. Only problem is, he's not exactly sure what else to do besides desperately obsess over how hot their leader is.]
fanwork  fandom:Voltron  pairing:Lance/Keith/Shiro  rating:nc-17  length:oneshot  type:prose  author:gunboots  quality:sunfish  Extra:Threesome/Moresome  extra:crack  Extra:Voyeurism 
december 2016 by opalsong
How Dorian Pavus and Livia Herathinos Are Going To Ruin Their Own Wedding (With Pirates)
What do you get for the girl who already has everything and really doesn't want to marry you? A kidnapping, apparently.

No, that doesn't actually make any sense, but as The Iron Bull is about to find out, Dorian Pavus and Livia Herathinos don't appear to actually consider themselves bound by the rules of common sense.

Isabela just can't believe someone's actually paying her for this. Lucky!
fanwork  fandom:dragonage  pairing:IronBull/Dorian  pairing:Isabela/Livia  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:coveredinfeels  quality:sunfish  extra:fluff  extra:crack  extra:au  extra:podficced! 
december 2016 by opalsong
Imhar the Clever
The Inquisitor is an Avvar. Dorian tries to be understanding and make allowances for cultural differences.

In hindsight, that was possibly his first mistake.
fanwork  fandom:dragonage  pairing:Dorian/Inquisitor  rating:G  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:coveredinfeels  quality:sunfish  extra:culturedifferences  extra:fluff  extra:crack  extra:proposal 
december 2016 by opalsong
How Dorian Pavus and Livia Herathinos Are Going To Ruin Their Own Wedding (With Pirates)
What do you get for the girl who already has everything and really doesn't want to marry you? A kidnapping, apparently.

No, that doesn't actually make any sense, but as The Iron Bull is about to find out, Dorian Pavus and Livia Herathinos don't appear to actually consider themselves bound by the rules of common sense.

Isabela just can't believe someone's actually paying her for this. Lucky!
fanwork  fandom:dragonage  pairing:IronBull/Dorian  pairing:Isabela/Livia  rating:pg-13  time:10:00-30:00  Type:PodFic  site:AO3  author:coveredinfeels  performer:isweedan  extra:crack  quality:sunfish 
december 2016 by opalsong
Mental Scarring
For an anon prompt on my Tumblr that I kind of hijacked: gai/obito tho, kakashi's utterly terrified of the two ever coming together. "I've met Gai, Kakashi, and guess what? I'm going /to befriend him/." "You wouldn't DARE, Obito." "Oh, I would. We're going to be best friends." Obito and Gai hit it off instantly, and it all goes downhill from there. Kakashi finds them making out once and it's so horrible. He's never going to get that image out of his mind.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Gai/Obito  pairing:Sakumo/Dai  rating:r  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  Length:Short  extra:crack  extra:au  Extra:Voyeurism 
september 2016 by opalsong
Wherein Bro and Signless Film a Cross-Species Porn Movie
Contains Pail-Free Xenosexual Relationships Between a Male Mutant Troll and Male Human for the Purpose of Exhibitionistic Sexual Gratification, Polyquadranted Individuals Presented in a Neutral or Positive Way, and Puppets Used in Several Perverted Ways, One of Those Puppets Depicting a Rad as Fuck Big-Nosed Allusion to Our Glorious Empress, Which She in Her Wisdom Has Allowed to Keep Existing Because Damn Straig)(t I Got Da Biggest One.
fanwork  fandom:Homestuck  pairing:Bro/Signless  rating:nc-17  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:askerian  quality:sunfish  extra:crack  Extra:Toys  extra:xeno  extra:au  extra:porn 
august 2016 by opalsong
Biscuitverse
John, Sherlock, and Mary are married. No one knows. Except Molly. Who's helping Mary with a murder. While Sherlock proposes to Janine. Who's working for the guy who's blackmailing Mary and who Mary's planning to kill. Which neither John nor Sherlock know.

What could go wrong?!
fanwork  fandom:Sherlock  pairing:Sherlock/John/Mary  rating:nc-17  length:series  type:prose  site:AO3  author:faerymorstan  quality:crocodile  extra:IM  extra:crack  extra:fluff  Extra:Preg  extra:poly  Extra:Threesome/Moresome  extra:holiday  extra:family  extra:toPodfic 
january 2016 by opalsong
It's Witchcraft
Tobirama comes down to breakfast on the first day of classes to find the Great Hall full of snickering, his husband conspicuously absent, and his brother face-down in his eggs.
fanwork  Fandom:HP  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Tobirama/Madara  pairing:Mito/Hashirama  pairing:Minato/Kushina  rating:r  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  extra:crossover  extra:crack  extra:prank  Extra:Crossdressing  extra:establishedrelationship 
january 2016 by opalsong
sorceress
It's like this. I was warning folks that I hadn't yet watched the last handful of eppies for FMA, and that if anyone spoiled me, they'd have to die loud and painful. So of course people decided to "spoil" me. Like how, in ep 51, Roy gets his WINGS and Ed is stabbed with SCARY GREEN ICE STUFF, and Seifer CRIES. Yes. Yes, it's FF8. DIE, PEOPLE. *hearts*
fanwork  Fandom:FMA  Fandom:FFVIII  Pairing:Ed/Roy  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:dreamwidth  author:coyo  quality:sunfish  extra:crossover  extra:crack  rating:G 
january 2016 by opalsong
NHL DINOSAUR HUNTING/RESCUE UNIT
It really shouldn't be any surprise to anyone that Geno Malkin decides to visit Jurassic World to see the dinosaurs (after all, there's a reason there's an entire tumblr dedicated to pictures of him with animals). But when things go wrong and Geno ends up stranded, it's up to Sidney Crosby to put together a team to rescue his boyfri--er, teammate.
fanwork  fandom:Hockey  fandom:JurassicPark  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Byaghro  author:khasael  author:MajaLi  quality:crocodile  extra:crossover  extra:crack  extra:not!fic 
august 2015 by opalsong
How Team Seven Got Their Summon Animals
"Once upon a time in Fire Country, O my Best Beloved, three Ninjas went on a D-rank mission to retrieve a Cat..." A tale in the style of Rudyard Kipling's Just So Stories. Very silly.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:gen  rating:G  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:edenfalling  quality:sunfish  extra:crack  extra:storytelling  extra:fluff 
august 2015 by opalsong
It's a Love Story (Baby, Just Say Yes)
“Oh my god, Obito, I don’t care that you keep turning our roommates into mindless zombies devoted to serving your will, but in the name of everything holy, at least stop putting them in thrall when you're singing Taylor Swift songs in the shower.”
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Kakashi/Obito  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  extra:au  Extra:MagicalCreature  extra:magicalrealism  extra:friendship  extra:crack 
august 2015 by opalsong
The Importance of Aiming
With the Kyuubi’s help, Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke have successfully landed in the past, armed with a completely fleshed-out plan to get rid of the bad guys and save the world. (Again.)

The only problem? When it comes to the transmigration of souls and time-travel jutsus done under the influence, Kurama has absolutely, incredibly terrible aim.
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  Pairing:Team7  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:blackkat  quality:sunfish  extra:crack  Extra:TimeTravel  Extra:BodySwap  extra:FixIt 
august 2015 by opalsong
Lines in the Sand
Blackwall shrugged, all creaking armour and leather. “I may not like you or what you are very much at all, but you are brave and you have a good heart: that much is undeniable. It’s more than what most people have. So.”

“… And here I thought we were going to launch into some terrible spiel about how we were all in this together,” Dorian said, after a startled pause. The day was turning out to be full of surprises.

“That sort of thing only happens in Varric’s books.”

“Oh, you read! I’m shocked.”
fanwork  fandom:dragonage  pairing:Dorian/Blackwall  rating:nc-17  length:series  type:prose  site:AO3  author:manic_intent  quality:sunfish  extra:crack 
august 2015 by opalsong
Kink-quisition
Cassandra stumbles across a secret literature-exchange society in Skyhold.

She disapproves, of course. Deeply.

(That person who keeps prompting for crossovers with characters out of Varric's novels? Not her.)
fanwork  fandom:dragonage  pairing:gen  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:coveredinfeels  quality:sunfish  Extra:FourthWall  extra:crack  extra:kinkmeme 
august 2015 by opalsong
It's in the Water, Baby
Dillon and Ziggy must fight their way across a city of sex-bots and pheromone-induced citizens to rescue their captured teammates. Things don’t go quite as planned.
fanwork  fandom:powerrangers  pairing:Dillon/Ziggy  rating:nc-17  type:prose  site:AO3  author:freckleon  quality:sunfish  Extra:SexPollen  extra:crack 
august 2015 by opalsong
Dragon’s Teeth
The Aegis swings by Earth with a request of Her Royal Highness every once in a while.
fanwork  fandom:JupiterAscending  pairing:gen  rating:unrated  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Eisoj5  quality:sunfish  extra:crack 
august 2015 by opalsong
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