opalsong + extra:failboats!inlove   127

I know what you are (say it) bisexual
Simon tells himself,

It’s not gay, it’s not gay, I’m totally not checking him out, he just had that stain on his right trouser leg….

Raphael is, apparently, a rich as fuck vampire, because the suit shop they go in is fancy as hell. They park in the basement, because, uh, sunlight, and even though dusk has fallen it’s better to be safe than sorry (sorry meaning dead). Raphael keeps smirking, which does nothing to help Simon’s inner mantra that consists of

I’m straight, I’m straight holy fuck is he licking his lip- I’m straight..

“This,” the vampire announces as they walk into the shop, smiling faintly, looking, almost for the first time since Simon’s met him, as if he’s relaxed, “is the greatest place in the world, Simon Lewis.”

He looks at him then, grinning, eyes dark, shining, looking more polished than ever but somehow oddly vulnerable, and Simon’s breath hitches, his insides turning to goo.

His mantra becomes

Let me not jump him, or, at least, not in public..
fanwork  fandom:Shadowhunters  pairing:Simon/Raphael  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:thankyouforexisting  quality:sunfish  extra:humour  extra:crack  extra:Denial  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
december 2018 by opalsong
$22 Friend Date VS $1,160 Friend Date
Ryan goes on a series of dates with Shane. Friend-dates. For a video, of course. Nothing else.

"Oh god, they're definitely in love."
fanwork  fandom:Unsolved  fandom:WorthIt  pairing:Shane/Ryan  rating:G  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:WESTAGE  quality:sunfish  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:fluff  extra:pining 
july 2018 by opalsong
Izuku and Shouto's adventures in sexy land
That’s why when they’ve found themselves face to face on the ring of the sport festival once more, for the third time ever since they’ve met each other, and Izuku smiled at him, eager and challenging, self-confident but never full of himself, Shouto blinked, dazed and shocked, in realizing just how blindingly beautiful his best friend was. The way Izuku’s white shirt clung on his muscles, the little peek of his collar bone and the hard lines of his pecs visible under it, the way his thighs curved and filled the school gym uniform.



‘Oh, fuck—‘ Shouto thought, his head spinning, feeling like he just got run over by a freight train. ‘Shit. He’s- hot?’
fanwork  fandom:MyHeroAcademia  pairing:Midoriya/Todoroki  rating:nc-17  length:series  type:prose  site:AO3  author:NohaIjiachi  quality:sunfish  extra:fingering  extra:angst  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
july 2018 by opalsong
The Devil's In The Details
Shane had never thought too hard about taunting ghosts and demons. But it only takes one badly placed joke to invite in something that is better off left alone. His and Ryan’s comfortable friendship is going to be tested to its limits when a demon unleashes a storm of uncertainties into both of their lives. One thing’s for certain: Once the storm passes, his and Ryan’s relationship will never be the same again.
fanwork  fandom:Unsolved  pairing:Shane/Ryan  rating:pg-13  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:chaoskiddeer  quality:sunfish  extra:demon  extra:pining  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:slowbuild 
july 2018 by opalsong
Kabedon't
' "What," Hinata says, "like you're suddenly going to become a kabedon master?"

The idea itself is hilarious. Kageyama has all the timing and subtlety of a tyrannosaurus in a china shop. Hinata sees no reason to be wary.

"We'll see," Kageyama says darkly. "We'll see." '

--

When Hinata introduces Kageyama to the concept of kabedon, he isn't expecting to create a monster. But all origin stories have humble (sometimes very humble) beginnings...
fanwork  fandom:Haikyuu!!  pairing:Hinata/Kageyama  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Esselle  quality:crocodile  extra:humour  extra:romance  extra:gettingtogether  extra:flirting  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
july 2018 by opalsong
So You Know It Isn't Real
After extraction from a mission gone awry, Wufei notices some unusual side effects. After recruiting Heero to find a cure, Wufei just has to wait it out until a solution is found. And remember it's entirely synthetic...

For the Gundam Wing End of Summer Tropefest 2017.
fanwork  Fandom:GW  Pairing:Duo/Wufei  rating:pg-13  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:GoodIdeaAtTheTime  extra:drugs  extra:dubcon  quality:sunfish  Extra:Failboats!inLove  Extra:SexPollen 
june 2018 by opalsong
I’m Gonna Keep You in Love with Me (for a While)
Shane is pacing around the hotel room. It’s not a huge room and Shane’s legs are long enough that he doesn’t have much real estate to pace before he has to swing back around for another loop.

“Can you stop?” Ryan asks. “You’re making me dizzy.”

“Okay,” Shane says finally. “Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do. We’re just going to—we’re going to be married. The only way out is through.”

“Um,” Ryan says, because this plan strikes him as counterproductive to their shared goal of not being married.
fanwork  fandom:Unsolved  pairing:Shane/Ryan  rating:nc-17  Length:LongShot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:beethechange  quality:sunfish  Extra:Pretend!Relationship  extra:drinking  extra:accidentalmarriage  extra:friendship  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
june 2018 by opalsong
Guy Bffs Try Gross Lubes Off of One Another
AU where Buzzfeed still won’t give us the Unsolved merch we deserve, but this they at least do provide.
fanwork  fandom:Unsolved  pairing:Shane/Ryan  rating:r  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:cactsu  quality:sunfish  extra:humour  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
june 2018 by opalsong
oblivion
“So, how long have you and Shane been dating?” Jen asks.

If Ryan had already taken a sip of his coffee, he would’ve done a spit take right now. Instead, he just sends her an incredulous look. “Shane and I are what?”

Or, Ryan and Shane's life would be so much easier if they just talked to each other.
fanwork  fandom:Unsolved  rating:G  pairing:Shane/Ryan  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:rocketshiptospace  quality:sunfish  extra:accidentalDating  extra:humour  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:oblivious 
june 2018 by opalsong
Shameless Dave/Karkat Porn
The thing about Karkat Vantas is, he might be a pompous, noisy windbag with an inflated opinion of his own importance, and if he was suddenly struck down by some kind of vicious troll laryngitis the universe's total amount of chill and quiet would suddenly go up three levels...

But turns out he's also a great fuck.
fanwork  fandom:Homestuck  pairing:Dave/Karkat  rating:nc-17  time:10:00-30:00  Type:PodFic  author:askerian  performer:hananobira  quality:crocodile  extra:Denial  extra:humour  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:xeno  extra:ITPE2017  extra:ForMe! 
january 2018 by opalsong
kozume kenma's guide to divorcing supernatural persons (results may vary)
“What’s the internet say about all this sexual tension?” Kuroo asks, and Kenma’s attention snaps back to the screen.

“Nothing I didn’t see earlier. It should lessen over time, but it’s meant to cement the new bond between mated individuals. Through sex, I guess.”



(( or: kenma must navigate his new and unwanted werewolf marriage with kuroo, and honestly, it would be a lot easier if they didn't get boners every time they made eye contact ))
fanwork  fandom:Haikyuu!!  pairing:Kenma/Kuroo  rating:nc-17  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:skittidyne  quality:sunfish  extra:sequel  Extra:MagicalCreature  extra:au  Extra:Werewolf  extra:accidentalmarriage  extra:negotiation  extra:overstimulation  Extra:Toys  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:podficced! 
january 2018 by opalsong
Colours in Your Eyes
Everyone is born with the ability to only see the colour of their soulmate's eyes. Only upon touching their soulmate, can people see the rest of the world's colours.
Edward Elric will do whatever it takes to get his brother's body back and ensure he can have his happily ever after with his soulmate, even if it means never finding his own soulmate.
fanwork  Fandom:FMA  Pairing:Ed/Roy  pairing:Al/Mei  rating:r  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Batsutousai  quality:sunfish  extra:bond  extra:politics  extra:culturedifferences  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
november 2017 by opalsong
Whatever It Takes
Bakugou Katsuki, in typical fashion, makes a brash decision that changes his life irrevocably. Anger has always had a way of bringing Bakugou what he wants, though. He just hadn't realized dating someone would be so fucking difficult.



(Or, that one where Bakugou agrees to pretend to date Todoroki just to piss off Endeavor, and ends up falling in love instead.)
fanwork  fandom:MyHeroAcademia  pairing:Todoroki/Bakugo  rating:nc-17  Length:LongShot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:XenophonSpeaks  quality:sunfish  Extra:Pretend!Relationship  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:teenboyskissing 
november 2017 by opalsong
crust and sugar over
Katsuki sits cross-legged, clearly in no hurry to go anywhere. “What’s your name? I’m –”

“I know who you are,” he cuts him off, then blushes, then hates himself for both those things. Katsuki looks surprised, and Yuri can’t think as to why. He’s a nationally ranked figure skater. He’s Yuri’s favorite figure skater.

~

Yuuri and Yuri become friends and Viktor develops a crush.
fanwork  fandom:YuriOnIce  pairing:Yuuri/Victor  rating:pg-13  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:ShanaStoryteller  quality:crocodile  extra:friendship  Extra:Pretend!Relationship  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:podficced! 
august 2017 by opalsong
give a little, get a lot
Tim is bad at feelings, so he instigates a prank war. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
fanwork  fandom:dccomics  pairing:Tim/Jason  rating:nc-17  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:defcontwo  quality:sunfish  Extra:Game  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
may 2017 by opalsong
It's Not That Simple
Zoro and Sanji are fighting.

And that’s not really a surprise, exactly, because Zoro and Sanji are always fighting. But it’s different, this time.

This time, it’s not physical, and Sanji isn’t up in Zoro’s face yelling and screaming and calling him names. There’s no swiping of polished katanas against the lithe swing of powerful legs. It’s not physical combat.

This time, Sanji’s fighting with silent avoidance and quiet resignation. This time, their entire nakamaship may be on the line.

And this time, Zoro doesn’t know how to fight back.

OR

There’s something wrong with Sanji, but Zoro doesn’t know what it is or why it’s happened – why they’ve suddenly stopped brawling and hating each other left, right and centre. All he knows is that he has to fix it, or this Sanji – the Sanji that’s sunken and tired and so, so sad - may never go away.
fanwork  fandom:OnePiece  pairing:Zoro/Sanji  rating:r  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:HazzilyEverAfter  quality:sunfish  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:slowbuild 
january 2017 by opalsong
shot down
Sara Crispino, thirstiest virgin in Barcelona, decides to get rejected by pretty much half the skating world. Mila Babicheva, nursing the world's worst Straight Girl Crush in recent history, is just along for the ride.
fanwork  fandom:YuriOnIce  pairing:Sara/Mila  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:heartsinhay  quality:sunfish  extra:flirting  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
january 2017 by opalsong
A Beginner's Guide To The Dangers Of Making Out With Your Fellow Athletes At Parties
None of this has anything to do with Otabek, except that Yuri didn’t get Otabek’s number, and so he can’t bitch to him about the whole situation. He makes do with bitching to Mila, who at least agrees that Viktor is impossible to deal with right now.

Otabek keeps liking Yuri’s selfies, but that’s it, that’s the complete and total sum of his communication with Yuri for an entire two weeks. Yuri is not mad about it because there’s nothing to be mad about. They are friends and this, it turns out, is what friends do. Like each other’s selfies and make out at international sporting events. He’s pretty sure Mila’s got at least three friends that fit exactly those parameters.
fanwork  fandom:YuriOnIce  pairing:Yuuri/Victor  pairing:Yurio/Otabek  rating:pg-13  Length:LongShot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:ineptshieldmaid  quality:salamander  extra:FatShaming:(  extra:gettingtogether  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:media 
january 2017 by opalsong
In Your Dreams
Zoro is a cambion, which means he feeds on sexual energy. A small crew like the Strawhats, its not normally enough to keep a cambion satisfied, but Sanji happens to be an abnormally sexually driven cook so it usually works out okay for Zoro. At least, it works out alright until Sanji finds out that Zoro's been taking energy from him through his dreams.

For Sanji, he's trying to wade through the confusing mess of emotions for a certain marimo after a surprise kiss on the battle feild. It's not easy to do on a normal basis. It certainly isn't any easier when the man he has deeper feelings for is a cambion.

Then everyone learns how important it is to keep their local cambion fed, for if they don't, someone might get eaten. literally.
fanwork  fandom:OnePiece  pairing:Zoro/Sanji  rating:nc-17  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:VioletHyena  quality:sunfish  extra:au  Extra:MagicalCreature  Extra:SexPollen  extra:drinking  extra:dubcon  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:slowbuild  extra:toPodfic  Extra:Anthro  extra:demon  extra:wishList 
december 2016 by opalsong
Classic Disney Romance Moments: Epically Retold with Zoro and Sanji
“Prince Zoro’s chamber is just a little further,” said the Long-Nosed Fairy, who was quite relieved that this ordeal would soon be over.

“And once we get there, you’ll wake him and break the spell with True Love’s Kiss,” said the Reindeer Fairy, who thought it was all very nice and romantic.
fanwork  fandom:OnePiece  pairing:Zoro/Sanji  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:livejournal  author:cuethe_pulse  quality:salamander  extra:crossover  fandom:Disney/Grimm  extra:fivethings  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
december 2016 by opalsong
I'm just a soul (whose intentions are good)
Explosions, broken toes, and blood transfusions, or, the long and mostly-incompetent courtship of Cougar by Jensen.
fanwork  fandom:theLosers  pairing:jensen/cougar  rating:nc-17  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:storm_petrel  quality:sunfish  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
january 2016 by opalsong
Wrong Signals
College!AU, wherein Jason accidentally texts the wrong number one day and things just sort of spiral from that.
fanwork  fandom:PercyJackson  pairing:Nico/Jason  rating:pg-13  Length:LongShot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:zeprithy  quality:sunfish  extra:au  extra:college  extra:letters  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
january 2016 by opalsong
Black Lettering
Patrick had a letter written on his wrist when he was born, small and even in black pen-print. Well, technically it started to show up a day after he was born, like a bruise that takes time to settle in. Patrick doesn’t remember, obviously, but his parents will tell him whenever he asks, how small it was and how it just... faded in, a little ‘J’.
fanwork  fandom:Hockey  pairing:Tazer/Kaner  rating:nc-17  time:1:00:00-1:30:00  Type:PodFic  site:AO3  author:aohatsu  performer:RsCreighton  quality:crocodile  extra:bond  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:ForMe! 
august 2015 by opalsong
Break In The Routine
"The art of love will be my challenge. We are going to measure our prowess as men. I challenge you to a battle to determine which of us is the better lover!"
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  pairing:Kakashi/Gai  rating:pg-15  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:livejournal  quality:sunfish  author:maldoror  extra:virgin  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
august 2015 by opalsong
And I'm Crashing Into You
Cisco fixes things that are broken, like super-suits and hearts. It's what friends do, right?
fanwork  fandom:theFlash  pairing:Barry/Cisco  rating:nc-17  Length:LongShot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:poisonivory  quality:sunfish  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
august 2015 by opalsong
five times rin and rei "totally weren't dating," and one time they totally were
Written for the Free! Kink Meme: "maybe rei starts helping rin study for a certain subject that he's bad at, rin helps rei with clothes-shopping, and it eventually escalates to rin teaching rei how to kiss and then they make out and possibly do other sexy things, and it probably takes them both a while to realize that they have totally been dating this whole time."
fanwork  fandom:Free!  pairing:Rei/Rin  rating:nc-17  Length:LongShot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Donatello  quality:sunfish  extra:fivethings  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:fluff  extra:ill 
august 2015 by opalsong
Planned Attacks
He's not sure why people think him above desire. Cullen's a man and as weak to it as any other man in the world. He's just much worse at expressing it than others.
fanwork  fandom:dragonage  pairing:Dorian/Cullen  rating:pg-13  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:DustToDust  quality:sunfish  extra:flirting  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
august 2015 by opalsong
cabbage: a love story
Krem’s grin fades into a quiet smirk, his eyes warm and amused, and Cullen does not forget how to move his legs because he is a grown man, a leader of soldiers, commander of the Inquisition’s army.

He breaks the silence by coughing loudly, because he is also an imbecile.

Series
fanwork  fandom:dragonage  pairing:Krem/Cullen  rating:pg-13  length:series  type:prose  site:AO3  author:psikeval  quality:sunfish  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:trans 
august 2015 by opalsong
A Greater Compliment
They are enemies before the Inquisition brings them together. When the tension of unexpected camaraderie gives way to something more, Dorian learns that the Iron Bull is almost nothing like what he expected. It leaves one to wonder: what does the future hold for a Tevinter mage and a Qunari ex-Ben Hasrath agent?
fanwork  fandom:dragonage  pairing:IronBull/Dorian  rating:nc-17  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:AislinCade  quality:sunfish  extra:firsttime  extra:drinking  extra:dubcon  extra:praisekink  Extra:BDSM  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
august 2015 by opalsong
5 Times Stiles & Derek's Classmates Noticed They Were in a Committed Relationship and 1 Time Stiles Noticed
In which Derek and Stiles are college roommates, and everyone saw this coming before they did.

“How do you even get up there?” Scott asks skeptically. Loft beds are tricky enough on their own, he doesn’t know what possessed Derek and Stiles to push theirs together. Why would anybody try to create a king-sized loft bed in a teensy tiny dorm room?
fanwork  fandom:TeenWolf  pairing:Stiles/Derek  rating:pg-13  time:10:00-30:00  Type:PodFic  site:AO3  author:Survivah  performer:Podcath  quality:crocodile  extra:fivethings  extra:au  extra:college  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:ITPE2014 
february 2015 by opalsong
howl
They're monsters, but what better to hunt a monster than another?

A tale of two ANBU: otherwise known as the life and times of Hound, the Hokage's ever-loyal dog, aka Hatake Kakashi, and Owl, the hunter that flies on silent, deadly wings, aka Umino Iruka
fanwork  Fandom:Naruto  Pairing:Kakashi/Iruka  rating:nc-17  length:series  type:prose  site:AO3  author:chuchisushi  quality:crocodile  extra:leftofcenter  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:BAMF!Iruka  extra:topodfic 
september 2014 by opalsong
Name Calling and Pigtail Pulling
"Didn't you know, Jason?" Tim says, voice light and taking on that tone that their public personas use, "I'm a winter. Lavender is my color."
fanwork  fandom:dccomics  pairing:Tim/Jason  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:heartslogos  quality:sunfish  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
september 2014 by opalsong
I Got a Love (That Keeps Me Waiting)
There's a lot of different ways this summary could go, like:

Patrick Kane gets more than a gold medal in Sochi.

Or, the classic: It's too late to pull out now.

Or: Patrick Kane continues to thrive in high pressure situations.

Or: Patrick Kane gets knocked up, goes to White Castle, and finds love, not necessarily in that order.

But, ultimately, all that really matters is this: Patrick Kane is keeping his baby.
fanwork  fandom:Hockey  pairing:Tazer/Kaner  rating:nc-17  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Svmadelyn  quality:whale  Extra:Failboats!inLove  Extra:Kid!Fic  Extra:Mpreg  Extra:Olympics  extra:miscommunication 
april 2014 by opalsong
Like Other Girls
Author's summary: Pat's relationship with the media has been fraught since she was drafted, second round, home to Buffalo. Her relationship with her new Captain, when she eventually winds up in Chicago a couple of years later, doesn't start off a whole lot better. But by the time she's flying back from Biel, she's willing to admit that she had missed their thing just a little, weird as he's always been around her.
fanwork  fandom:Hockey  pairing:Tazer/Kaner  rating:r  time:1:30:00-2:00:00  Type:PodFic  site:AO3  author:BlackEyedGirl  performer:susan_voight  Extra:GenderBender  extra:media  extra:friendship  Extra:Failboats!inLove  quality:crocodile 
april 2014 by opalsong
End of the Line
five times Patrick Kane unsuccessfully flirted with other Olympic athletes, and one time he didn't get shot down.

with Kane being cheesy and persistent but not creepy or coercive?

het and/or slash

bonus points for Kaner trying to flirt with both Lamoureux sisters (either separately or together) and crashing and burning miserably

:P
fanwork  fandom:Hockey  pairing:Tazer/Kaner  rating:r  Length:CommentFic  type:prose  site:livejournal  author:anonymous  quality:sunfish  extra:fivethings  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
march 2014 by opalsong
Play Along
"I bet you a hundred bucks," Sharpy says, gesturing with his drink to punctuate how very serious he is about this suggestion, "that I can pick up the next person who walks in that door before you can."

Duncan Keith probably shouldn't have taken that bet.
fanwork  fandom:Hockey  pairing:Duncs/Seabs  rating:nc-17  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:shihadchick  quality:sunfish  extra:bet  Extra:Pretend!Relationship  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
march 2014 by opalsong
Somewhere Only We Know
Kaner kicks off his twenty-eighth birthday party with an exponential crisis.

Jonny frowns at him. “You’re having a crisis of ever-more-rapidly-increasing numbers?”
fanwork  fandom:Hockey  pairing:Tazer/Kaner  rating:r  Length:LongShot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:jezziejay  quality:sunfish  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:future 
march 2014 by opalsong
88 Dates
He promised Oshie he would make the fucking audition tape, so he did. And against all fucking odds, he got a callback from a woman who sounded like even she couldn’t believe she was making the call. Because that’s Jonny’s life now.



or, a Bachelor AU, where film star Patrick Kane is going on 88 Dates and Jonny goes on more than a few of them.
fanwork  fandom:Hockey  pairing:Tazer/Kaner  rating:nc-17  Length:LongShot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:troubles  quality:crocodile  extra:au  extra:dating  extra:realitytv  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:podficced! 
march 2014 by opalsong
History, Like Gravity
If Derek’s life were a romantic comedy—which it’s really, really not, what with all the murder, mayhem, and supernatural elements—it would inevitably feature the moment when Erica brings Stiles home and he and sees, for the first time ever, not a gawky, uncoordinated teenager with a penchant for graphic tees and plaid, but a young man, taller than Derek now, with broad shoulders and large, capable hands that finally match the rest of him. Stiles would be walking down a staircase in slow-motion and Derek would feel the world tilt on its axis while his entire perspective on life underwent a paradigm shift. Stiles would be looking at something or someone else, and he’d laugh before his gaze shifted back to Derek and when their eyes met, it would feel like being struck by lightning. Like getting hit by the thunderbolt.
fanwork  fandom:TeenWolf  pairing:Stiles/Derek  rating:nc-17  type:prose  site:AO3  author:cutloosemcgoose  quality:sunfish  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:future  extra:wedding 
december 2013 by opalsong
The Best Bad Ideas
When Clint Barton put on the Captain America costume for a mission, he didn't count on Phil Coulson's reaction. Coulson didn't count on Clint crashing his new team to do something about it.
fanwork  fandom:avengers  pairing:clint/coulson  rating:r  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:sam_storyteller  quality:sunfish  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
december 2013 by opalsong
Enamour Me
Appreciate him without sounding patronizing. Somehow. Refrain from smacking him.
Make him laugh. Don't do this at someone else's expense. Maybe at your own.
Be seen with him. Show him you're willing to be seen in public associating with him.
Initiate conversation - show you want to talk to him. Do not allow him to think you just want something from him. Even if you do.
Feed him. Not junk food. Show you can provide for him?

Isaac had added (un)helpful additions, such as 'Don't leave dead animals on his porch!' in response to number five, underlining 'Don't do this at someone else's expense' twice, and 'Why are you writing a list to yourself in second person? The fact you want Stiles is your worst kept secret'.
fanwork  fandom:TeenWolf  pairing:Stiles/Derek  rating:G  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:stilinski  quality:sunfish  extra:courtship  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
december 2013 by opalsong
The Sweetest of Words (Have the Bitterest Taste)
“Ah, yeah, Desiree, I told you I was meeting someone. Well, that someone is Derek. My boyfriend. We’re totally in love.” His heart was racing and Derek was holding him so tight it was difficult to turn enough to face the young woman. What he did see of her had his breath catching on fishhooks in his throat. She was normally a relatively pretty girl, with cute round cheeks and large dark eyes, but in that moment she looked…terrifying. Her cheeks seemed gaunt, her eyes glowing like they were little windows peeking into a deep pit of raging flame.

(Or: Five or so years after the show. Stiles is in college, and finds himself getting stalked by a succubus. Derek's determined that the best way to thwart her is to prove that he and Stiles are madly in love. It's not really as much of an act as either seems to think.)
fanwork  fandom:TeenWolf  pairing:Stiles/Derek  rating:nc-17  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:Omni  quality:sunfish  Extra:Failboats!inLove  Extra:Pretend!Relationship 
december 2013 by opalsong
Brilliant & Ridiculous
All Derek wanted was for the woman to leave him alone and ring up his groceries. How that led to her thinking Stiles is his boyfriend is something he blames on Stiles and his inability to stay out of trouble for five minutes.
fanwork  fandom:TeenWolf  pairing:Stiles/Derek  rating:r  Length:LongShot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:maderr  quality:sunfish  extra:accidentalrelationship  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
december 2013 by opalsong
Dating Backwards
Pornstars Derek and Stiles work for the same company. Derek only shoots with werewolves and Stiles only shoots with humans. That's not going to change after they meet. It's really not.
(It might.)
fanwork  fandom:TeenWolf  pairing:Stiles/Derek  rating:nc-17  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:RemainNameless  quality:sunfish  extra:au  extra:porn  extra:dubcon  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
december 2013 by opalsong
The Worst Thing I Ever Did
Stiles would say his relationship with Derek is about fifteen percent empty threats, thirty percent sass, ten percent avoiding violence together, and five percent eyebrows.
If anyone asked, he would say the remaining forty percent is mutual orgasms.

It’s a good thing no one ever asks.
fanwork  fandom:TeenWolf  pairing:Stiles/Derek  rating:nc-17  length:chaptered  type:prose  site:AO3  author:RemainNameless  quality:sunfish  extra:kink  extra:dubcon  extra:solo  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
october 2013 by opalsong
seen everything there is to be shown
Kink meme prompt: Rin has a nightly visitor in his dorm room. They don't notice that Nitori is very much awake on the top bunk of the bed and listening to everything that's going on below him.

'Perhaps he should set up a throwaway email address and anonymously send Rin a link to the Amazon page for the Kama Sutra. Or Sex For Dummies. Or maybe one of those children’s toys with the colorful shaped pegs that fit into matching holes.'

Basically, Rin is pretty much the worst roommate ever.
fanwork  fandom:Free!  pairing:Haru/Rin  rating:r  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:sauntering_down  quality:crocodile  Extra:Failboats!inLove  Extra:Voyeurism  extra:Failboats!havingsex 
september 2013 by opalsong
The Color Red
It's the first time Gou has seen Samezuka's captain in a swimsuit. It's the first time Seijuurou's seen her in a swimsuit. It's clear both of them are ill-equipped to handle this situation. Shameless fluff, blushing, and muscle-appreciation.

Written for a kink meme prompt: "So Seijuurou is the captain of the Samezuka team. Gou is the manager of the Iwatobi one. Both teams compete together. Cue the two of them seeing each other at a meet, both only wearing swimwear, and nearly going into cardiac arrest over each other."
fanwork  fandom:Free!  pairing:Gou/Seijuurou  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:booksong  quality:sunfish  rating:G  extra:muscles  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
september 2013 by opalsong
covalent
Rei catches Nagisa by the crook of the elbow after swim practice on a Wednesday.
fanwork  fandom:Free!  pairing:Nagisa/Rei  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:magicianprince  quality:salamander  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
september 2013 by opalsong
and it's you i hear (so loud and clear)
Patrick knows the Blackhawks have been not-so-subtly shopping around for someone who could bond with number-three-draft-pick Jonathan Toews, but it’s still a little weird for him to be sitting down with a couple of their suits in a conference room he didn’t even know existed.
fanwork  fandom:Hockey  pairing:Tazer/Kaner  rating:r  Length:LongShot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:bropunzeling  quality:sunfish  extra:bond  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
july 2013 by opalsong
It's a Love Story, Baby, Just Say Yes
Kaner tries to fuck his way out of love. That goes as well as you might imagine.

That's my summary. But liketheroad's summary is also applicable: In which THERE IS A BACHELOR AUCTION TO SAVE ALL THE PUPPIES OF CHICAGO AND TAZER IS THE ONE WHO HAS TO SAVE THOSE PUPPIES AND KANER TRIES TO FUCK HIS WAY OUT OF LOVE BUT OH TOO BAD FOR YOU KANER, YOU HAVE TOO MANY FEELINGS FOR THAT.
fanwork  fandom:Hockey  pairing:Tazer/Kaner  rating:r  Length:LongShot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:svmadelyn  quality:sunfish  extra:auction  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
july 2013 by opalsong
Words get tangled up in good intentions
They've been hooking up for more than a year, undefined and mostly unspoken, when Johnny first speaks French in bed with Kaner.
fanwork  fandom:Hockey  pairing:Tazer/Kaner  rating:nc-17  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:mermaid  quality:sunfish  extra:languagekink  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:dirtyTalk 
july 2013 by opalsong
Sunday Edition
And of course, because Sharpy is the most ill-mannered Canadian ever, he opens up the newspaper like he doesn't have the most entertaining thing in Chicago across the table from him anyway. He's totally pretending to read it, just to make Patrick salty, but two can play at that game, so he snatches the Sunday inserts out of the folds, smirking at Sharpy.

But he glances down and staring up at him, looking like, all of eighteen and strangely soft and sweet is Jonathan fucking Toews.
fanwork  fandom:Hockey  pairing:Tazer/Kaner  rating:pg-13  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:twentysomething  quality:sunfish  extra:photoshoot  extra:pranks  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:teambonding 
july 2013 by opalsong
Not a Heart of Gold
For the longest time this fic was unofficially titled 'Kaner's not a hooker but Tazer probably wants him to be', and I really can't think of a better way to summarise it than that. Many words of Tazer fantasising, pining, jerking off, and paying for sex, because that's apparently how he rolls.
fanwork  fandom:Hockey  pairing:Tazer/Kaner  rating:nc-17  Length:LongShot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:queeniegalore  quality:sunfish  extra:prostitution  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
july 2013 by opalsong
and you're behind the steering wheel
Normally, Laura is perfectly willing to delicately coach her baby brother through the endless labyrinth of his emotional manpain, but Laura’s dissertation is due in two days and she just flat out doesn’t have the time.
fanwork  fandom:TeenWolf  pairing:Stiles/Derek  rating:G  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:magneticwave  quality:sunfish  extra:acedemia  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:au  extra:college 
july 2013 by opalsong
Follow Me, I'll Be Right Behind You
Ryan supposes that’s fair, if he was dating someone, he wouldn’t have put so much thought into choreographing a threesome either.
fanwork  fandom:Hockey  pairing:Eberle/Hall/Nugent-Hopkins  rating:r  Length:LongShot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:opusculasedfera  quality:sunfish  Extra:Threesome/Moresome  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:assumedrelationship 
july 2013 by opalsong
On the Line
AKA the one with the phone sex.

In which Kaner finds out Jonny wants to fuck him and is pretty okay with that turn of events. Phone sex, picnic baskets, crazy eyes, hockey and insanity ensue.
fanwork  fandom:Hockey  pairing:Tazer/Kaner  rating:nc-17  Length:LongShot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:queeniegalore  quality:sunfish  extra:phonesex  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
july 2013 by opalsong
Tastes So Good
Taylor Hall doesn't think a destroyed slice of chocolate cake, a broken bed and his line-mates wearing his clothes necessarily means anything. The rest of the team don't agree.
fanwork  fandom:Hockey  pairing:Eberle/Hall/Nugent-Hopkins  Extra:Threesome/Moresome  rating:nc-17  length:oneshot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:doctor_denmark  quality:sunfish  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
july 2013 by opalsong
Incidental Contact
Brent doesn't understand why his linemate and roommate is being so weird about his Olympic fling with Johnny Weir.
fanwork  fandom:Hockey  fandom:iceskating  rating:nc-17  pairing:Duncs/Seabs  pairing:Seabs/JohnnyWeir  Length:LongShot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:shoemaster  quality:sunfish  Extra:Failboats!inLove  Extra:Olympics 
july 2013 by opalsong
See This Through
Sidney's drunk when he orders a Russian bride. He doesn't expect anyone to show up - and he definitely doesn't expect that person to be an awkward-looking guy who barely speaks English.
fanwork  fandom:Hockey  pairing:Sid/Geno  rating:nc-17  Length:LongShot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:impertinence  quality:sunfish  extra:MailOrderBride  extra:accidentalmarriage  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:leftofcenter 
july 2013 by opalsong
Twist in my Sobriety
“We should have sober sex,” Patrick says, rolling his neck until it pops loudly. He really should be thinking about getting up off of the floor.

“Why would we do that?” Jonny asks, twisting to look down at Patrick like he just suggested that they throw puppies into traffic.
fanwork  fandom:Hockey  pairing:Tazer/Kaner  rating:nc-17  length:oneshot  Type:PodFic  site:AO3  author:jezziejay  quality:sunfish  extra:drinking  extra:fuckbuddies  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
july 2013 by opalsong
Ain't Nothing Like the Real Thing
None of them have discussed the fact that Duncs is dating knock-off Seabses, because what can they really do about it?
fanwork  fandom:Hockey  pairing:Duncs/Seabs  rating:pg-13  time:30:00-1:00:00  Type:PodFic  site:AO3  author:shoemaster  performer:rhea314  Extra:Failboats!inLove  quality:sunfish 
may 2013 by opalsong
Ordinary Life
"They all think I’m your boyfriend anyway," John said.
"Yes, so? You are my boyfriend," Rodney said. "Why is this a problem?"
"They thought I was before I even was!" John yelled.
fanwork  fandom:sga  Pairing:Sheppard/Mckay  rating:nc-17  time:1:30:00-2:00:00  Type:PodFic  site:audiofic  author:astolat  author:speranza  performer:zoetrope  quality:whale  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
may 2013 by opalsong
Crash Landers
In which Stiles learns to Stalk That Stalk. (Or, how to accidentally woo your unfriendly neighborhood alpha in roughly five hundred handwritten steps.)
fanwork  fandom:TeenWolf  pairing:Stiles/Derek  rating:pg-13  time:3:00:00-4:00:00  Type:PodFic  site:audiofic  author:gyzym  performer:fleurrochard  quality:sunfish  extra:stalking  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:letters 
april 2013 by opalsong
The Student Prince
A Modern day Merlin AU set at the University of St Andrews, featuring teetotal kickboxers, secret wizards, magnificent bodyguards of various genders, irate fairies, imprisoned dragons, crumbling gothic architecture, arrogant princes, adorable engineering students, stolen gold, magical doorways, attempted assassination, drunken students, shaving foam fights, embarrassing mornings after, The Hammer Dance, duty, responsibility, friendship and true love...
fanwork  Fandom:Merlin  Pairing:Merlin/Arthur  rating:nc-17  time:15:00:00-30:00:00  Type:PodFic  site:audiofic  author:fayjay  performer:fayjay  quality:crocodile  extra:au  extra:college  extra:modernroyalty  extra:drinking  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
april 2013 by opalsong
then they start to play
“Are you—are you proposing?”

“Like this?” Patrick says, offended, gesturing to the popcorn crumbs littering his shirt—and Jonny’s nice merino blanket, he can’t help but notice—and the Chinese takeout on the coffee table in front of them. “I can do better than this. I’m asking, now. I just wanted to know, if, you know, I were to propose, later, would you say yes?”
fanwork  fandom:Hockey  Fandom:RPS  pairing:Tazer/Kaner  rating:pg-13  length:series  type:prose  site:AO3  author:ellot  quality:salamander  Extra:Marriage  Extra:Failboats!inLove  extra:proposal 
march 2013 by opalsong
tied if we stay
It takes 140 characters or less and one absolute fucking moron to change Jon's entire life forever.

He should have known all along it would be Kaner. It always is.
fanwork  fandom:Hockey  Fandom:RPS  rating:nc-17  pairing:Tazer/Kaner  Length:LongShot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:staraflur  quality:sunfish  Extra:Pretend!Relationship  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
march 2013 by opalsong
Come Fly With Me (Or Don't)
Stiles is overworked and stressed out when his flight home gets delayed due to copious amounts of snow. He finds entertainment with one Derek Hale, whom he hasn't seen since high school but really doesn't mind getting reacquainted with.

Especially when it turns out Derek is surprisingly hilarious and will reluctantly play snap with him. And can walk on his hands.
fanwork  fandom:TeenWolf  pairing:Stiles/Derek  rating:nc-17  Length:LongShot  type:prose  site:AO3  author:haynnes  quality:salamander  extra:au  Extra:Failboats!inLove 
march 2013 by opalsong
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