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keeping the faith | a little dose of keelium
Here is something I believe, deeply: If you are gracious and kind and genuine (even when the latter feels terrifyingly weak and vulnerable), if you reach out to other people who do good work and connect with them, praise them, lift them up, if you put your work/ideas out into the world and listen to feedback and keep striving to improve.... [ 882 more words ] http://ift.tt/2eJoJo0
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october 2016 by madness_dreams
Waving a white flag | a little dose of keelium
I've been passionate about education for a long time. My passion grew initially out of self-interest and childish anger--I was frustrated that, as a precocious little gifted kid, school was effectively a pen where I was held most of the day while I read my library books. You see, I knew it *could* be more than that, because I was a lucky little bastard with middle class parents who were able to scrape together the money to send me to Johns Hopkins gifted kids summer camp, where I sat all day in class with other obnoxiously nerdy kids and had my mind fed to bursting by passionate expert educators. [ 789 more words ] http://ift.tt/2drIAM9
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october 2016 by madness_dreams
The paralyzing freedom of unemployment | a little dose of keelium
Last night, my partner and I watched a new TV show together until 3am. Even after that, I had trouble sleeping. After some stretching and meditation, I probably fell asleep around 3:45am. I woke up for the first time this morning around 8:30, my face sweaty against the futon cover on the futon in our office, where I'd fallen asleep after meditating. [ 614 more words ] http://ift.tt/2chKVYt
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september 2016 by madness_dreams
Circling back around | a little dose of keelium
Hello again internet. It's been awhile. I've been writing like this--an open journal, letters to the internet--on and off for almost half my life. But if you're reading this, it's probably because you read the particular incarnation of my public-facing journal that began while I was in the process of leaving my PhD program--then the biggest failure in my life. [ 833 more words ] http://ift.tt/2crKjh4
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september 2016 by madness_dreams
End of an era | a little dose of keelium
Hello again. I've been avoiding posting here, and I wasn't quite sure why. Well, I knew part of the reason: I'm busy as hell, and exhausted a lot of the time, and only can spend so many hours a day on a computer. But there have been times I could have written. Enough. I just didn't feel sure of myself. Couldn't figure out what my next post was, despite the dozens of pages of notes in my notebook. [ 453 more words. ] http://www.littledose.keelium.com/2015/07/26/end-of-an-era/
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july 2015 by madness_dreams
Amazon Kindle: The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
"Semrad taught us that most human suffering is related to love and loss and that the job of therapists is to help people “acknowledge, experience, and bear” the reality of life—with all its pleasures and heartbreak. “The greatest sources of our suffering are the lies we tell ourselves,” he’d say, urging us to be honest with ourselves about every facet of our experience. He often said that people can never get better without knowing what they know and feeling what they feel."
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july 2015 by madness_dreams
Amazon Kindle: keelyellenmarie
I have spent the past week reading the book "The Body Keeps The Score", by Bessel van der Kolk. I was interested in it both because I'm a mental health nerd and because I am currently actively working on a physical health issue (pain/extreme muscle tension/pinched nerve in my neck/shoulder/arm) that is both definitely a physical problem [I have scans and misaligned vertabrae to prove it!], and simultaneously is significantly affected/worsened by severe emotional stress/anxiety [in part because I tense my neck muscles when stressed, which is pretty common]. This book has a particular focus on the effects of trauma, which may turn some people off--"nothing that bad has happened to me"--but it should be noted that any event that produces strong negative emotions and is not able to be processed with adequate personal emotional resources/social support [of course, if an event is horrifying enough, it may overwhelm anyone's emotional resources] can be experienced as "traumatic" psychologically--in that the memory of it is stored differently in the brain than ordinary memories, and as such can have significant ongoing negative affects on a person's functioning. More broadly though, this is a book about how our mental processes/emotions affect us physically, and how therefore awful experiences and mental/emotional issues leave an enduring physical mark on us. It also discusses what we have learned about how those physical/mental marks can be altered through a variety of therapeutic modalities. Personally, I find this book mindblowing on more levels than I can adequately express at the moment. It explains, or at least begins to explain, from a scientific perspective why bodywork (yoga, physical therapy, massage, exercise) and mindfulness (yoga, breathwork, meditation) and particularly bodywork that involves mindfulness (yoga!) has had such a profound impact on my mental health. It explains my sudden emotional outbursts and bizarre episodes of physical weakness during yoga classes that I attended during particularly shitty times in my life. And there's so much more that honestly I'm too tired to put into words at this moment. Honestly, I think a large percentage of people could benefit from reading this book. But I know most people won't, because it's long and it's nonfiction and it's on a topic that most people aren't as obsessively interested in as I am. Therefore I'll be sharing some of the key passages from it in the next few days, and I'm sharing all my highlighted passages on my public kindle profile [linked below].
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july 2015 by madness_dreams
Growth is an upward spiral | a little dose of keelium
So I was avoiding work and wrote a thing, for the first time in awhile. It's not great, but it's a thing.
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april 2015 by madness_dreams
Pronoun Island
Some friends of mine made a thing that I think some of my blog readers may enjoy making use of. Check it out: http://pronoun.is/
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march 2015 by madness_dreams
Bullish Life: You Know What I Find Inspiring? Mediocrity. | GetBullish
I may have shared this before, but it just becomes more and more relevant the more time I spend as an adult with a "real world" job. So many people have no clue what they're doing. So many people do their jobs so badly. So don't go around despairing that you'll never match up to [person doing awesome thing awesomely]. Find people who are doing at least sort-of interesting things badly and still making a living at it, and be better than them. Or find a thing that everyone is doing super inefficiently, or that everyone hates doing, and create a product or service that makes that thing easier. That is how you gradually get do awesome things really well... you get experience by kicking ass in areas where other people are dropping the damn ball.
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march 2015 by madness_dreams
Still too busy | a little dose of keelium
gaaaaaah... I promise you all, I am working on this, but I still am waaaaay overbooked at the moment, so no real post this week. :-( http://www.littledose.keelium.com/2015/03/10/still-too-busy/
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march 2015 by madness_dreams
The Unified Theory of Ophelia: On Women, Writing, and Mental Illness
"I found a precedent for girls like me in the work of confessional poets Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton. They represented a respectable compromise between “real literature” and my irrepressible tendency to let the personal creep into my writing. I related intensely to the ferocity and focus in their work, but I soon felt the hinges of a trap closing around me. To identify with Plath and Sexton was to take up the mantle of the mad female poet, madness being what they were chiefly remembered for. Hemingway’s suicide was just a footnote to his biography; Plath and Sexton’s suicides defined them. I wanted more for myself, as a person and an artist."
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march 2015 by madness_dreams
just a check-in | a little dose of keelium
Hello all! Sorry I've been a bit scarce lately. All is mostly well, I've just been crazy busy with work and an assortment of distractions, a few of which have been lovely happy things , but most of which have been unavoidable annoyances . I am working my butt off to get things better organized in the next few weeks so I can make time for writing here again, but at the moment I'm mostly trying to apply my non-work time to taking care of myself, so that at least health-stuff stops eating my time and energy so much sometime soon. [ 65 more words. ] http://www.littledose.keelium.com/2015/03/01/just-a-check-in/
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march 2015 by madness_dreams
7 historical figures who wrestled with depression (and how they eased their suffering) - Salon.com
I'm with William James ("I believe in belief") on this one, plus a bit of Buddha. Basically, I believe in willing myself to believe reasonable but hard things "I am worthwhile, I have something to contribute to the world, etc" in order to make them more likely to come true, and mindfulness. Not mentioned in this article, but also highly endorsed: --keeping moving forward however you fucking can --dealing with your fucking baggage --owning your goddamn emotions --getting off your ass and moving on a daily basis --listening to energetic/defiant/hopeful music that acknowledges sad and painful things things --and as necessary, pharmaceuticals.
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january 2015 by madness_dreams
Ask Polly: Did I Waste My College Years? -- The Cut
This one hit me pretty square on, so I figure a few of you might empathize. (For all of us one-time high achievers who [feel like we] failed to meet our potential)
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january 2015 by madness_dreams
Just checking in… | a little dose of keelium
Hello all! It's been something of a rough week... lots of doctors appointments--don't worry, everything is fine, there's just stuff I've been needing to deal with but avoiding because doctors = all the anxiety triggers, for Reasons--, getting my rats spayed (they are also doing great!), the same struggles with settling into my new work routine that I've been having for awhile... [ 187 more words. ] http://www.littledose.keelium.com/2015/01/17/just-checking-in/
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january 2015 by madness_dreams
Sick day | a little dose of keelium
So I took a sick day from work today. I don't feel like getting into details, but basically, I woke up feeling like hell, and after relaxing and napping I'm actually feeling mostly better. That said, I would like to stick to taking it easy tonight and not push myself to write a bunch. Especially since I have tutoring and a literature-themed dinner party to which I am bringing… [ 29 more words. ] http://www.littledose.keelium.com/2014/11/14/sick-day/
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november 2014 by madness_dreams
How to keep moving forward, even when your brain hates you. • A little dose of keelium
It still blows my mind that something I wrote over a year ago continues to slowly circulate around the internet, often being shared by people whose writing I admire myself. It's ironic really--so many people have thanked me for telling them to be kind to themselves, when in fact this is a thing that is still an ongoing struggle for me. Yes, I'm better than I used to be at it, but it still takes effort, still goes against my instincts. But every time I get a kind comment or a reblog from someone who appreciated my words, it gets just a tiny bit easier. Because people are telling me that there is value in that ongoing struggle. That my hard-fought battle towards self-compassion is worth something, in part because I have used it to connect with and lift up other people. So to all of you who have written to thank me, or shared my words around the internet--really, I should be thanking you. Thank you for reminding me that my writing is not just silly self-indulgence. Thank you for regularly reminding me of my own words on days when I really, really need that. Thank you for keeping me aware that I am not alone.
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october 2014 by madness_dreams
#573, #574, #575 and #576: Applying the Sheelzebub Principle | CaptainAwkward.com
"Whoever injected our collective brain with the idea that love is something we earn by making ourselves want only smaller, appropriate, manageable things needs to come here and fight me, with fists."
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may 2014 by madness_dreams
2014 Gates Annual Letter: Myths About Foreign Aid - Gates Foundation
Foreign aid makes a difference, period. Read the letter, I promise it is worth your time.
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january 2014 by madness_dreams
How to Make Trillions of Dollars
"Here I’m talking about the real fundamentals of being an empowered, self-directed human being. Creativity. Curiosity. Resilience to distraction. Patience with others. And to make these all possible: self-reliance — an unswerving willingness to take responsibility for your life, regardless of who had a hand in making it the way it is. Cultivate these qualities in yourself and others, and when this way of life becomes more normal than getting one’s lifestyle cues from discount-store flyers and CNN, the surefire trillionaire strategy won’t work anymore. For anyone."
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january 2014 by madness_dreams
HERO FORGE Kickstarter is LIVE! Please back & share! | Facebook
HEY EVERYONE!!! Some friends of mine are launching an amazing Kickstarter project--a service that uses a video-game-style character creator to allow people to design their own 3D printed custom miniatures for use as game pieces or on display. If that is at all up your alley (or if you just feel like helping out some truly amazing artists and lovely people make a dream project a reality), please check it out, share it around, and maybe chip in if you can. Thanks!!
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january 2014 by madness_dreams
How to be less of a jerk to students with anxiety disorders | Critical Spontaneity
"There are some very warm-hearted and lovely people I know that have quit graduate school because it felt more like The Hunger Games than a collaborative learning environment. We need to stop applying a “survival of the fittest” mentality to academic success, wherein intelligence is linked to ability to endure rigor. I think it’s a huge loss of the academy that people I know to be brilliant and life changing have quit due to a lack of support."
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december 2013 by madness_dreams
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