keeping the faith | a little dose of keelium
Here is something I believe, deeply: If you are gracious and kind and genuine (even when the latter feels terrifyingly weak and vulnerable), if you reach out to other people who do good work and connect with them, praise them, lift them up, if you put your work/ideas out into the world and listen to feedback and keep striving to improve.... [ 882 more words ] http://ift.tt/2eJoJo0
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october 2016
Waving a white flag | a little dose of keelium
I've been passionate about education for a long time. My passion grew initially out of self-interest and childish anger--I was frustrated that, as a precocious little gifted kid, school was effectively a pen where I was held most of the day while I read my library books. You see, I knew it *could* be more than that, because I was a lucky little bastard with middle class parents who were able to scrape together the money to send me to Johns Hopkins gifted kids summer camp, where I sat all day in class with other obnoxiously nerdy kids and had my mind fed to bursting by passionate expert educators. [ 789 more words ] http://ift.tt/2drIAM9
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october 2016
The paralyzing freedom of unemployment | a little dose of keelium
Last night, my partner and I watched a new TV show together until 3am. Even after that, I had trouble sleeping. After some stretching and meditation, I probably fell asleep around 3:45am. I woke up for the first time this morning around 8:30, my face sweaty against the futon cover on the futon in our office, where I'd fallen asleep after meditating. [ 614 more words ] http://ift.tt/2chKVYt
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september 2016
Circling back around | a little dose of keelium
Hello again internet. It's been awhile. I've been writing like this--an open journal, letters to the internet--on and off for almost half my life. But if you're reading this, it's probably because you read the particular incarnation of my public-facing journal that began while I was in the process of leaving my PhD program--then the biggest failure in my life. [ 833 more words ] http://ift.tt/2crKjh4
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september 2016
End of an era | a little dose of keelium
Hello again. I've been avoiding posting here, and I wasn't quite sure why. Well, I knew part of the reason: I'm busy as hell, and exhausted a lot of the time, and only can spend so many hours a day on a computer. But there have been times I could have written. Enough. I just didn't feel sure of myself. Couldn't figure out what my next post was, despite the dozens of pages of notes in my notebook. [ 453 more words. ] http://www.littledose.keelium.com/2015/07/26/end-of-an-era/
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july 2015
Amazon Kindle: The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
"Semrad taught us that most human suffering is related to love and loss and that the job of therapists is to help people “acknowledge, experience, and bear” the reality of life—with all its pleasures and heartbreak. “The greatest sources of our suffering are the lies we tell ourselves,” he’d say, urging us to be honest with ourselves about every facet of our experience. He often said that people can never get better without knowing what they know and feeling what they feel."
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july 2015
Amazon Kindle: keelyellenmarie
I have spent the past week reading the book "The Body Keeps The Score", by Bessel van der Kolk. I was interested in it both because I'm a mental health nerd and because I am currently actively working on a physical health issue (pain/extreme muscle tension/pinched nerve in my neck/shoulder/arm) that is both definitely a physical problem [I have scans and misaligned vertabrae to prove it!], and simultaneously is significantly affected/worsened by severe emotional stress/anxiety [in part because I tense my neck muscles when stressed, which is pretty common]. This book has a particular focus on the effects of trauma, which may turn some people off--"nothing that bad has happened to me"--but it should be noted that any event that produces strong negative emotions and is not able to be processed with adequate personal emotional resources/social support [of course, if an event is horrifying enough, it may overwhelm anyone's emotional resources] can be experienced as "traumatic" psychologically--in that the memory of it is stored differently in the brain than ordinary memories, and as such can have significant ongoing negative affects on a person's functioning. More broadly though, this is a book about how our mental processes/emotions affect us physically, and how therefore awful experiences and mental/emotional issues leave an enduring physical mark on us. It also discusses what we have learned about how those physical/mental marks can be altered through a variety of therapeutic modalities. Personally, I find this book mindblowing on more levels than I can adequately express at the moment. It explains, or at least begins to explain, from a scientific perspective why bodywork (yoga, physical therapy, massage, exercise) and mindfulness (yoga, breathwork, meditation) and particularly bodywork that involves mindfulness (yoga!) has had such a profound impact on my mental health. It explains my sudden emotional outbursts and bizarre episodes of physical weakness during yoga classes that I attended during particularly shitty times in my life. And there's so much more that honestly I'm too tired to put into words at this moment. Honestly, I think a large percentage of people could benefit from reading this book. But I know most people won't, because it's long and it's nonfiction and it's on a topic that most people aren't as obsessively interested in as I am. Therefore I'll be sharing some of the key passages from it in the next few days, and I'm sharing all my highlighted passages on my public kindle profile [linked below].
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july 2015
Oprah Winfrey: one of the world's best neoliberal capitalist thinkers | Television & radio | The Guardian
"Oprah recognizes the pervasiveness of anxiety and alienation in our society. But instead of examining the economic or political basis of these feelings, she advises us to turn our gaze inward and reconfigure ourselves to become more adaptable to the vagaries and stresses of the neoliberal moment. Oprah is appealing precisely because her stories hide the role of political, economic, and social structures. In doing so, they make the American Dream seem attainable. If we just fix ourselves, we can achieve our goals. For some people, the American dream is attainable, but to understand the chances for everyone, we need to look dispassionately at the factors that shape success."
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may 2015
Facebook
This is the one problem with facebook's little "remember when" feature. I mean, it's great to remember how kick-ass and supportive my friends have been these last 4 years, but "hey, 4 years ago today your ex was harassing you!" is a weird update to get.
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may 2015
Theranos | Facebook
This woman's company is so cool.
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may 2015
There’s an Uber for Everything Now - WSJ
Like half of the phone app ads on Facebook are for "uber for ____" apps. It's a little creepy.
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may 2015
Self-Care Minimums and Dealing With Depression | The Span of My Hips
This is precisely why using HabitRPG was such a positive thing for my mental health: dailies. Every day, I HAD to go outside, talk to another human being face-to-face, move my body intentionally (even a walk around the block counted), take my pills, etc. It seemed silly to give myself "credit" for doing such small things, but it made a huge difference.
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may 2015
ClassDojo
As not a classroom teacher, I have no use for this, but it's effing adorable.
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may 2015
Some Thoughts On Depression, and Why Self-Care is So Hard
Useful thoughts, for me anyhow. Self care is hard.
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may 2015
Education on Air
Educator friends! Google is hosting a free online future-of-education conference tomorrow and Sunday! ...and I am one lucky teacher, because I am getting paid to attend whatever sessions catch my fancy. Woot!
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may 2015
We Have Always Been Here
"Women have been programming as long as there has been programming. Algorithms, ENIAC, UNIVAC, English-language programming—all of this was created by women. I don’t mean that they contributed alongside men. I mean that individual women and teams of women did this work. Period. Back in the days before we had standard hardware and intuitive languages and good debugging tools and big libraries of code available to us with an electronic search, women were the people who did all of our computer programming. Women developed the field of computer programming. So what the hell happened? How did we end up in a world where men get paid to write whiny, ahistorical media pieces about how women are presumptuously beating at the doors to their clubhouses? Two things happened. The first is simply that the contributions of these women were, by and large, never written into history in the first place. It’s easier to lose what you never celebrated or recorded. The other thing that happened, however, is that these activities became more valuable. F&SF films own the box office these days, and 2014 New York Comic Con had a population higher than that of 24 states’ capital cities. Video games are approaching movies both in number of consumers and in revenue. There is so much money in the tech industry that people can’t seem to find enough sensible things to spend it on (though no doubt biases dictate that many worthy projects still go unfunded). When that happens, the gender dynamics in a space change. Valuable spaces are redefined as male spaces. The women within them are redefined as oddities and interlopers."
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may 2015
Joss Whedon, “Kill Yourself,” And Creative Responsibility | Trout Nation
"As a person who has been suicidal before, and whose family was tragically impacted by suicide, I view “kill yourself” and expression of violent ableism when used as an insult. Suicide is not a deserved punishment for the creation of problematic media. It is a disease."
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may 2015
Too Old to Commit Crime? | The Marshall Project
Interesting. Though there is the question of what a bunch of middle-aged ex-cons would do to support themselves once freed. Because fuck, it's hard enough to support yourself in this economy WITHOUT a record.
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may 2015
Spotify Web Player - Angry Lady Karaoke - Keely Chaisson
So clearly this playlist needs more. Suggestions?
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may 2015
David Simon on Baltimore’s Anguish | The Marshall Project
"How do you reward cops? Two ways: promotion and cash. That's what rewards a cop. If you want to pay overtime pay for having police fill the jails with loitering arrests or simple drug possession or failure to yield, if you want to spend your municipal treasure rewarding that, well the cop who’s going to court 7 or 8 days a month — and court is always overtime pay — you're going to damn near double your salary every month. On the other hand, the guy who actually goes to his post and investigates who's burglarizing the homes, at the end of the month maybe he’s made one arrest. It may be the right arrest and one that makes his post safer, but he's going to court one day and he's out in two hours. So you fail to reward the cop who actually does police work. But worse, it’s time to make new sergeants or lieutenants, and so you look at the computer and say: Who's doing the most work? And they say, man, this guy had 80 arrests last month, and this other guy’s only got one. Who do you think gets made sergeant? And then who trains the next generation of cops in how not to do police work? I’ve just described for you the culture of the Baltimore police department amid the deluge of the drug war, where actual investigation goes unrewarded and where rounding up bodies for street dealing, drug possession, loitering such – the easiest and most self-evident arrests a cop can make – is nonetheless the path to enlightenment and promotion and some additional pay. That’s what the drug war built, and that’s what Martin O’Malley affirmed when he sent so much of inner city Baltimore into the police wagons on a regular basis." Thanks for sharing this Hayden Mills. The War on Drugs is truly the root of so much evil in this country. (And before anyone says "but what about racism"... the war on drugs is racist in effect AND in its original intention)
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may 2015
PHD Comics: Amount of Time Spent Writing your Thesis
Isn't this how everyone writes everything? No?
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may 2015
www.nytimes.com
Shared with me by Shayna Schlotfelt. Pretty interesting.
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april 2015
www.groupon.com
Heh, should have seen this one first. 3 weeks of discounted meals. Ridiculous.
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april 2015
www.groupon.com
Ha. Lazy meals next week ftw.
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april 2015
What it means to "hold space" for people, plus eight tips on how to do it well - Heather Plett
A lesson in how to be kind. These are not all easy things to do, but striving for them is worthwhile. This kind of work is central to the success of my personal relationships and my tutoring work.
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april 2015
In West Baltimore, some residents see rioting as a rational response to daily despair - Vox
People in power won't pay attention until forced to do so. Forcing them requires disrupting their lives. Violence and destruction is the easiest route to doing so. Peaceful protests can also be disruptive, but it is fucking hard to match the disruptiveness of putting a city in a "state of emergency" with a peaceful march. And let's be real here... When "peaceful protestors" block freeways and business, we bitch about them too. I can't tell you how many times I've heard some variant of "Don't they know that me being stuck in traffic because of them doesn't make me any more sympathetic towards their cause?" If you are asking this question, you are missing the point SO FUCKING HARD. You don't block traffic for "sympathy". Before you can even worry about winning support, you have to get people's fucking attention. And maybe if all you are getting out of a protest of desperately angry and despairing people fighting for their rights is the idea that those people are begging for your sympathy, maybe they do need to riot before you'll get their actual point through your thick skull. (And on a separate note, do you realize how callous you sound? "Oh, I would care about their basic human rights, but they made me late for work." It's entirely fair and human to be upset when your life is disrupted. I have gotten frustrated about protest-related traffic many times myself. But you know what, I've sat in equally bad traffic because the president visits town, or because the oscars are happening, or because it's a nice warm day and everyone wants to get to the beach. You would think "people expressing their right to free speech in order to try and make their communities better places to live" would be at least as worthy a reason for losing some time in the car.)
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april 2015
Colorado's Teen Pregnancy Prevention Program Works, and That's Why Conservatives Want to Kill It
"As the situation in Colorado shows, conservatives are willing—eager, even—to keep the teen pregnancy rate sky high on the slim hope that doing so might scare someone, sometime out of having sex. At best, that suggests that their priorities are completely screwed up, because they would literally prefer to have widespread preventable public health issues than to admit that it’s fine if people want to have sex. At worst, it suggests that they want people to suffer unnecessary problems like STIs and unintended pregnancy, to punish them for engaging in sexual activity." Fuck conservatives. Also, this is beside the point, but IUDs are so not Cadillacs. They are something you pay a bit more for up front but works so well and has such low maintenance costs that it pays you back in the long term. So like buying a nicer used car instead of a junker, or buying a car instead of leasing/renting. Or, getting an IUD is the equivalent of buying a solid small car with good gas mileage, other long-acting-reversibles (hormone implants) are the equivalent of leasing that same car or perhaps buying a car that requires more gas/maintenance costs, hormonal birth control pills/patches/etc are like buying a monthly transit pass in some place with decent public transit (a bit more inconvenient and likely to let you down, but totally servicable if you plan adequately), and using condoms as a sole source of birth control is like using ubers and buses as needed (again, workable and maybe even your best option if you plan really well, and no upfront cost, but no one is going to be surprised at all if you end up shelling out a ton and still not always getting places on time/preventing pregnancy.)
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april 2015
Tyson Foods will stop using human antibiotics in its chickens by 2017 - Vox
So this is way more valuable for a food brand to do than stopping using GMOs, though the latter tends to get more coverage.
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april 2015
Facebook
4 years ago today, I started my education in healthy romantic relationships by going on my first every first date. The man I met is not my romantic partner now, but he remains a great friend, and has brought so many fucking wonderful people into my life. Thank you for being part of my world, Teagan Morrison. (And thanks to the weirdness of Facebook for reminding me of this cool anniversary that I otherwise wouldn't have recognized)
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april 2015
Calls for Calm in Baltimore - The Atlantic
It is understandable to be terrified/horrified by the way Baltimore is erupting now, but we should be far more scandalized by the violence of the police that led to this than by the entirely predictable result. Yes, non-violent protest is great, and is a huge part of positive social change. But as stated in this article (which really, you should read. Now.), the people of Baltimore are not in a place to take the most wise, considered approach right now. This is a forest fire, and it happened because we created the conditions for it. You should be far more angry about that than you are at the protestors, as scary as this is. We made a city where the majority of the residents feel that the police force is against them. Where the tensions between police and residents are so high that large protests could not happen without chaos ensuing. Yes, individual protestors and rioters still make choices, and some make horrible ones. But let's be real here--how many people would have to be capable of superhuman levels of self-restraint, of protest planning, of calm, for this tinderbox of a situation to not catch fire?
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april 2015
Support Anne Thériault creating A Feminist Paradise
So, this person writes good shit on feminism and on mental health. I share her stuff fairly often, and people generally like it a bunch. Just in case any of you people who do that don't happen to follow her on Facebook, I'm resharing her patreon link.
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april 2015
Teacher: What I wish everyone knew about working in some high-needs schools - The Washington Post
Damn. This is why I am not a classroom teacher. Because I would be this person, and I would burn out. In my current position I help kids--mostly wealthy ones, but the less-privileged students who do work with me get a better version of me than I'd be able to give them if I was doing this full time. It is a shitty decision to have to make--to give the students who need help most only my "leftover" energy. But that's all I know how to do.
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april 2015
Nematodes are not designed, they evolved
TL;DR: C. elegans biology is amazing, and creationists make the dumbest arguments.
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april 2015
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