lapsus_linguae + dcu   130

glossing: The Triple-Cross
The con is complicated, but not half so much as the geometry among these three.

IDENTITY PORN + SWEATY SLEAZE TO THE MAXXX
so good tho [cowering]
trauma-face  crack  kink  bruce/clark/tim  dcu  fic  from delicious
november 2012 by lapsus_linguae
More Than Two Men - derryderrydown
Tim ran his hand over the cowl and studied it carefully.

"You going to put it on any time tonight?" Dick asked and though the words were teasing, there was something behind them that made Tim turn around.

YELLING THE KIDS ARE NOT ALL RIGHT
kink  dick/tim  batman  dcu  fic  from delicious
november 2012 by lapsus_linguae
The spot you missed - Petra
"Definitely yes." She swings her legs over the edge of the bed and they look weird. Her hips are too narrow and her thighs are just as slim as she always wanted them to be.

They're still shaved, and that's weird in its own way.

"Oracle --" Tim says, and trails off. He never just loses his words.

Oracle says something Steph can't hear. After a while, Tim answers. "At least one of the effects of the anomaly is to cause sex reversal in its subjects.
genderswitch  steph/tim  batman  dcu  fic  from delicious
november 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Tempus fugit (when you're having fun) - Petra
Dick knows something's wrong when the world shivers around his bike, but he doesn't figure out exactly what it might be until he sees the Gotham skyline.

time-traveling dickiebird is more heartbreaking that usual!
crack  bruce/dick  batman  dcu  fic  from delicious
november 2012 by lapsus_linguae
In the darkness I will meet my creators - republica
Dick is fairly sure Damian was not just ‘in the area,’ and almost laughs at the shifty expression on his face as he gives the excuse. It’s a far way to go for ‘no reason’.
damian/dick  batman  dcu  fic  from delicious
november 2012 by lapsus_linguae
mildredmilton: Bride of Cthulhu
Pairing: Dick/Slade/Lots of Tentacles

FAVORITE FLAVOR
crack  pwp  crossover  dick/slade  dcu  fic  from delicious
november 2012 by lapsus_linguae
weirdness magnet: Night Watch
Tim finds ways to rationalize the staring.

At first, it was to analyze the way Kon moves in a fight.

After a while, he wasn't studying Kon. He was just *looking*.  So he invented other reasons.  It wasn't difficult. 

He hasn't thought of a good excuse for watching Kon sleep. Yet.

timmers gonna creep
pwp  kon/tim  teentitans  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Tangled - thewhitestag
Tim’s breaths are even but effort-heavy, like the way he gets when he’s running on the treadmill or doing one of his fancy kung-fu tai-chi whatever forms on the training mats. And it makes Kon wonder if that’s what this is to him, just another workout. He sinks his two fingers deeper, to the second knuckle.

“You can go faster, you know,” Tim informs him.

fingering and rom-commy feelings! porny then sappy.
pwp  kon/tim  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
thete1: The Good Bits 5: Tactical Advantages
The One Where Kon Randomly Gains The Ability To Switch Other People's Genders.
genderswitch  crack  pwp  kon/tim  teentitans  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Percussion, Salt and Honey - Rubynye
"Did I ever tell you how I got fired?"

such tenderness these two have here! ah it's more resonant and moving than pwp would be. lovely.
dick/tim  batman  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
A Host of Low Truths - derryderrydown
It's just Bruce and Tim playing their fucked up little games. Only the two of them here.

geez it's like the world series of how many identities can two people inhabit. sequel to a form of confession.
pwp  kink  bruce/tim  batman  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Muddled - Rubynye
It's ridiculous, and they're both drunk.

i like that one of the suggested tags for this is 'crossdressing for justice'
dick/tim  batman  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
High as My Heart - Rubynye
Kory makes a change. Dick falls off a high place. And then there is porn.
[punches the air]
genderswitch  pwp  dick/kory  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Second law of thermodynamics - Petra
The bed is narrow and as cold as you'd expect it to be in a place that's currently physically incapable of having central heating. In a normal place, in a normal life, it wouldn't be big enough for two people. That just means that Tim's right leg is a quarter inch away from Dick's left, and that their hips are only just barely not touching.

oh look it's that trope that i love.
pwp  dick/tim  batman  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Tell someone you trust - Petra
Tim knows how to keep important secrets.

ooh a short tasty little thing.
dick/tim  batman  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
petronelle: Sexualized dominance behavior -- another normal day in the DCU
Tim answers the question, "Have you... have you ever had your face pressed to the dirt and, you know, your ass in the air?" in many ways.
meta  crack  humor  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Hand-me-down - Petra
I'm not a judge. And you're not innocent.

holy identity porn batman!
pwp  kink  bruce/tim  batman  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
The Joy Plant - derryderrydown
"Bruce is out of town for a month," Dick said. "I could use some help in Gotham."

Roy paused. "Guess you should come in, then."
dick/roy  teentitans  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
weirdness magnet and te: For To Be A Lover
Dick tries to break the cycle of their family's poor communication skills with Tim.
pwp  dick/tim  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
weirdness magnet: Speed Me Through
Bart has a brood.  Tim has odd ways of showing gratitude.

aww.
bart/tim  teentitans  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
weirdness magnet: Cover Us With Song
it's springtime in smallville. kon and tim "study."
pwp  kon/tim  teentitans  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Another Thing We'll Never Talk About - Rubynye
Roy's head tilts back, his eyes are closed, and his eyelashes are reddish gold against his pink, lightly freckled cheeks. It's been a long time since they've just hung out, since Dick's gotten busier with Gotham and now setting up this new team; Alfred's words about "how fast young people change at your age" had really been eye-roll worthy, but Roy does look different. Dick realizes he's staring just soon enough before Roy'd catch him that he's got time to look away as Roy lowers the bottle and sighs contentedly.

warm and a little bittersweet. ah i really like this.
dick/roy  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Petra: No less than life
When Batman laughs, criminals flee.
Robin -- Dick shudders.

WHOA this stunned me. filthy, complex, and incredibly intense, like just barely this side of too uncomfortable. augh.
epic  kink  bruce/dick  batman  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
I Scream, You Scream - Salmon_Pink
Tim doesn't want to share his ice cream. Kon has other ideas.

what is UST
kon/tim  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Tumult of a thousand wings - derryderrydown, Petra
Roy gets a mysterious phonecall and bizarre instructions. This story will self-destruct in 10 seconds.

who could it beeee
roy/?  kink  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Taste The Green - Salmon_Pink
Damian is wearing the original Robin uniform. Tim doesn't think he can be blamed if he loses his mind a little.

robins playing chicken such a dangerous game
pwp  kink  damian/tim  batman  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Cereta: Hanging Work
Two tickets to a circus never used, a little boy forgotten, and a chance meeting. Of such things are legends made.

it's a dick grayson story hmm
to-read  au  series  bruce/dick  batman  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Petra: Admitting you have a problem
Dick takes a deep breath and remembers that in subjective time, he's making the -- Bart wait for ages. "Did you want advice, or sympathy, or -- what?"

He's blurring at the edges. Wally used to do that sometimes, when he got fidgety. "Some kind of direction." Bart's smile isn't Wally's at all. "I've read 332,642 books this year and none of them talk about what to do when your mentor disappears and suddenly you're a grownup."

[wibbles]
bart/dick  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
te and weirdness magnet: And Sometimes Discerned
Bart knows what he wants. Tim's helpful. Kon approves.

starts out sweet and dissolves into the porno that just keeps going
pwp  bart/kon/tim  teentitans  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
weirdness magnet: Outward and Inward
Bart is on a mission.  Kon helps.  There's phone sex.

!!!
humor  pwp  kink  bart/kon  teentitans  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Member of the Wedding - Chapter 1 - Rubynye
"What would you say if I asked you to be my Best Man?"

choosing is hard. powerfully wistful.
barbara/dick  dick/tim  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
derryderrydown: The Ballad of Bart Allen
There are times when he thinks Joan knows there's something wrong.  When she holds him tight and then, just then, for half a second, he can slow down and move at the same speed as everybody else, but then it starts to hurt and he has to go.

[wails]
gen  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Fetching - Salmon_Pink
When Kon’s sleepy, Krypto brings him blankets. When Kon’s hungry, Krypto brings him food. And apparently when Kon’s horny, Krypto brings him Tim.
crack  pwp  kon/tim  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
te: As a whirlwind
Tim attempts to put things in perspective.

the real pairing is kon/tim/feelings
pwp  kon/tim  teentitans  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
GraysonCam - Petra
Dick thinks of the cameras the way other people think of hugs. It's like always having someone you love to smile at, or a peck on the cheek before you leave.

Not that he wouldn't like a real hug more, but they're so busy.

roy's life! i almost feel bad.
humor  dick/roy  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
derryderrydown: Accidental Truth
"He'll kill me," Roy said.

"He won't," Grace said, voice filled with boundless confidence. After consideration, she added, "He might hurt you but he won't kill you."

short and n'aaww
dick/roy  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
derryderrydown: Spanky Pants
“Why?” He didn't think he could hit notes that high any more.

Dick shrugged and rested his head on his hands. “It seemed a good idea at the time?”

“That is not an answer. In no world is that an answer. Why did you buy me a cheerleader's outift?” Roy knew he sounded pathetic. He figured he was allowed to.

HYSTERICAL
pwp  kink  crack  humor  dick/roy  teentitans  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Nothing to Wear - derryderrydown
Cross-dressing high school prom - for when cross-dressing amnesiac hookers aren't enough.

sequel to that other one. entirely less distressing and gosh, really sweet.
series  humor  bart/kon  teentitans  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
derryderrydown: Shadowboxing
When the communicator in the San Francisco batmobile bleeped, Bruce opened the channel immediately. Before he could speak, there was a muffled moan.

His first thought was that Tim was caught and he monitored the adrenaline surge through his body. How quickly could he get to San Francisco? Keep Outs could be ignored when Robin contacted him directly.

But then there was another moan, a different voice, with words mixed in.

"Oh, God, yeah. Tim..."

And Bruce recognised the voice. The clone.

voyeurism, bruce, robin fantasies, how do i tag this.
trauma-face  batman  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Begins in Confusion - derryderrydown
Cross-dressing amnesiac hookers - for when one cliche just isn't enough.

i was about a quarter of the way through and forgot, hah, that this was cross-dressing AMNESIAC hookers and was so alarmed and confused, and then i remembered and wow, felt worse!
this is extremely well done cliche-fic though, and the ending's all gentle and warm-fuzzies.
series  trauma-face  hookerfic!  bart/kon  teentitans  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Things We Have Never Done - derryderrydown
Roy blinked and squinted up at him. "Okay, I think perhaps I have had too much to drink. Did you just ask me to teach you to suck cock?"

"Yes."

Roy tried to process it. "Is this some weird Bat-thing? Preparation for undercover work? I bet Brucie has been pulling his 'All skills are useful' schtick."

"Partly."

"Or is it just that you're dying to get your hands on my gorgeous bod?"

Dick finally sounded more human when he looked down and said, "Partly."

easy atmosphere that moves beautifully from uncertainty to certainty.
dick/roy  teentitans  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Green With Frenzy - Salmon_Pink
“You-” Kon pants a little, like he can’t catch his breath. “You went out in those - In the damn -” He drags Tim’s hips a little higher, enough that Tim’s knees almost leave the bed, toes sliding over the sheets as he tries to adjust. Kon’s breath feels painfully hot against the small of Tim’s back. “You went out in those damn panties?!”

And it should be ridiculous, should be a joke, but Kon sounds so serious, so angry and flustered and frustrated.

whoa!
kink  pwp  kon/tim  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Apple Of My Eye - Salmon_Pink
He’s hovering at the edge of the room as Tim moves about the bed. Literally hovering, feet not touching the ground, and Kon can feel himself fidgeting with his hands, like he’s forgotten what he usually does with them when he’s not punching things.

“Normally I like pretty much anything. You know, to eat. But for this, it’s gotta be apple. Go apple or go home!”

Oh God, he sounds like an idiot. Also, that was probably supposed to be an attempt at laughter, but it sounded more like a gurgle.

HELP i'm laughing so hard
pwp  kink  kon/tim  teentitans  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Brush Up Against That Edge - Salmon_Pink
“Conner,” Bart says, hands suddenly squeezing at Kon’s shoulders and voice deadly serious.

Kon’s gaze snaps up to look into Bart’s narrowed amber eyes.

“I want you to do this properly,” Bart stresses, his mouth a thin line.

Kid Flash’s battle face. For spanking. That should probably make him laugh, but Kon’s never found anything less funny in his life.

chrIGHST
kink  pwp  bart/kon  teentitans  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
derryderrydown: Hair of the Dog
There's a long silence. "Why do we keep doing this?" Dick finally says.

Roy makes a noise that could mean, 'Because I'm too much of a coward to jump your bones when I'm sober.' Hopefully, Dick will read it as, 'Because we're two manly men who drink to excess because it's a manly thing to do.' Or maybe just as, 'Dunno, too hungover to care.'
humor  dick/roy  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
derryderrydown: Core Self
"You know about meditation, don't you?"

A pause, a fractional tilt of his head. "A little."

"D'you think you could teach me?"

Robin stayed absolutely still for a moment then put the laptop down. "Meditation? You?"

Bart's foot was jittering and he consciously stopped it, resting his weight on his hip to pin it down. "I need to learn how to be absolutely still. And calm. I think."

aaaaah so adorable
gen  teentitans  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Kinda Gay - derryderrydown
It was definitely nostalgia that made Kon say, "Truth or dare?"

"Oh!" Bart's face lit up. "Dare. No, truth. Dare. Truth. Definitely truth." He paused for a heartbeat. "Dare."

Kon waited.

Bart visibly wavered. "Truth."

I LOVE IT SO MUCH FAVORITE
pwp  bart/kon  teentitans  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Petra: Inheritance
[Tim has serious father-figure issues. Bruce has serious son-figure issues. This is not about how they work them out, at all.]

see reading that i knew it was going to be an oh-god-no downer and i read it anyway why'd i do that
trauma-face  bruce/tim  batman  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
weirdness magnet: The Vigor of the Forest
Bart blinks.  The flowers are definitely *leaning* towards him. 
 
"Hm.  Do you guys have ears?  Maybe you're responding to the vibrations of my voice.  Or the other vibrations I produce.  I move around a lot, you might have noticed."  Bart leans closer to the petals.  The flowers are stretching as far as their stems will allow.
 
A petal brushes Bart's cheek.  It's silky and sweet and smells as green as the rest of the air.  And Bart has to grin, because the sun is shining and he's talking to *flowers* and the flowers don't seem to mind at all, and he turns his face a little and *inhales*--
 
--and gets a face full of pollen.
pwp  crack  bart/kon/tim  dcu  fic  teentitans  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
weirdness magnet: Already Drowning
"The skirt I get. But you have to explain the knee socks to me."

"I'm undercover," Tim mumbles.

"I guessed that." Kon rolls his eyes. "But... Catholic schoolgirl?"

"Just private school."

"Oh, well. That's *completely* different." Kon isn't -- quite -- laughing at him. "I still want to know where you hide the shuriken in that thing."
kink  pwp  kon/tim  teentitans  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
someinstant: to seize this swaying world
Dick's fingers press along the edges of the bruising. "Breathe," he says, and Tim can see him frown in the mirror across the room. They're sitting in the dark on Dick's bed, Tim's legs dangling over the edge of the mattress while Dick crouches behind him next to the first aid kit.

quiet and intimate and wonderful. [sighs]
dick/tim  batman  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Age of Innocence - derryderrydown
Bart licked his lips and Wally told himself it was just coincidence. Because Bart was a kid and couldn't and didn't know about flirting.

welp this's really a whole bag of bad bad wrong goodies.
pwp  kink  bart/wally  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Good Good Things - Zee
Kon hadn't exactly planned on this. He'd expected Tim to still be up, because it's only three am and it's *Tim,* and as far as Kon knows the guy doesn't actually take any nights off. But after he flew over the city and couldn't hear or see Tim anywhere, he went back to Tim's apartment, and...

He probably should have stuck to just staying (okay, fine, hovering in a creepy manner) outside Tim's window, but. Tim is actually *asleep,* deeply asleep from the look of it, and the sheets and blankets are bunched up at the foot of the bed and Kon can't see well enough from this angle. The TTK silently unlocks and opens the window, and then he's inside and can *really* see.
kink  pwp  kon/tim  teentitans  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
sominstant: Breast Side Up
Watching Mexican soaps upside down doesn’t actually make the acting any better, Kon discovers. Instead it just puts the voluminous cleavage at the top of the screen instead of the bottom, and really, Kon can get behind that.
pwp  humor  kon/tim  teentitans  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
someinstant: cross, cast, half figure of eight
Robin gave him a Look. Robin was good at that, but Bart was brave. He could handle Looks. Even Bat-Looks. Maybe. If there wasn’t also weaponry involved, and with Robin--

It was probably best to just keep talking and not think about Looks.

(hee!)
humor  gen  teentitans  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
someinstant: How Much String is in the World. Who Has It.
Dick glares. “You’re doing that-- that *thing*. Stop it.”

Tim stands up and offers Dick a hand. “What thing?”

Dick’s hand is damp in Tim’s, and he sways to his feet. “Um, hold on,” Dick says, steadying himself on Tim’s shoulder. “That *thing*,” he continues, once his feet seem to be securely underneath him. “Where you think things. About me.”

Tim goes still under Dick’s hand. “Oh?” he says, hoping that Dick’s too far gone to notice his face is flushing beneath his mask.

funny with an unconventional style that works well with the characterization of this pair, and just, some really profound insights threaded in here too. and footnotes! gah favorite.
humor  dick/tim  batman  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Cover - solvent
tim is sent as a high school student to central city to learn about the superman/luthor clone. things go pear-shaped almost immediately. favorite.
au  kon/tim  dcu  fic 
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
byblythe: calenture
Tim shivers when Superman puts his hand on Tim's back to steer him through the door. It's... it's something that Kon does.

so not okay!
trauma-face  kon/tim  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
byblythe: hotpants
"Hey," Tim says, and it's the weirdest, most beautiful smile Kon thinks he's ever seen, because Tim drops his head, so, so, slightly, and looks up at Kon, holding his breath. Now is one of those times when Kon's totally pleased with himself for paying attention.

"Hey," Kon says, and that's as far as he gets because. Okay. Redredred and hardcore fucking spikes on those gauntlets, but. Um.

"Hotpants."

Tim's expression turns baleful. Well, Kon assumes it does. He's not actually able to look up, because he's staring at the tight, slick, watery-black--

[cackling]
humor  kon/tim  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
byblythe: kinda like amaxophilia
"Hi," Bart grins, sunny and... lounging on the hood of the car. He's resting his weight on his hands behind him, one knee bent, the other leg almost-dangling over the fender.

"Good week?" Tim can make conversation--

"Yup--"

--but sometimes he'd rather not.

hot. hothothot.
kink  pwp  bart/tim  teentitans  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
brown_betty: ESRfDmTWSP:oDyslaNABMLAm!
Eight Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Ward Sidekick Partner:
or
Dude you sound like a NAMBLA member.

1. Don't.
series  crack  humor  kon/tim  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
byblythe: 4:27
He looks back at Kon again because he'd zoned out on the reflection off the sword blade and started thinking that maybe they're teeth marks with that bruise and if Kon made those that's exactly the kind of thing that Bart wants to know about in filthy frontline detail, and Kon catches his eye and smiles with one side of his mouth, and Bart gets, like, tugged with this whooshy feeling and then--they're on the other side of the gym instead, on the squishy blue mats, and Kon is standing over him, looking at him with his head tilted and one eye shut.

Also he has Bart's sword tipped just underneath the hem of Bart's t-shirt, and okay, it's just a fibreglass prop and whatever, but it's the symbolism of the thing, isn't it?

"Hamlet and Laertes," Kon says quietly, "are totally gay for each other. Don't you think?"

bart is the best.
teentitans  bart/kon/tim  kon/tim  bart/kon  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
byblythe: then the mountain will come to Mohammed
"So, Kon, you gonna show me around?" Tim slings his bag over his shoulder, and Kon knows there's probably seventeen different types of weaponry stashed in the indie-cool battered leather satchel. People are milling around them in the sort of centrifugal way that's clearly meant for checking people out. Tim props a foot up on the chair and bends over an imaginary stray shoelace, which means he's obviously not too concerned about keeping a low profile, because those are some tight jeans.
humor  kon/tim  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
te: Ante
Tim closes his eyes and feels it, the soft wetness of Kon's mouth and the ticklish heat of his breath. But he doesn't spread his legs when one of Kon's hands slides below his waist.

"Nnnrgh," Kon says, or something like it.

"Soon," Tim says, and finishes downloading the files, skin prickling at the weight of Kon's look even more than the feel of his hands. "Not yet, though."

"I hate your work ethic, dude," Kon says, and moves his hands. Slowly.
pwp  kon/tim  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
derryderrydown: Spoken Silence
It was one of those unsatisfying fights. Short and scrappy and no chance to really let loose, which meant they were all still het up when they got back to HQ.

Which meant Roy was arguing with Dick and wasn't even sure what had started it or what the argument was about now. He just knew that he was itchy and angry and, unsatisfying as the fight had been, he was still going to have impressive bruising in the small of his back and on his thighs and that just made him angrier.
pwp  dick/roy  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
derryderrydown: the feather and the chicken
Roy was eating a Twinkie as he watched the monitors. He glanced up as Dick came in and raised a hand in greeting.

"There was a kid in Utah," Dick said, cradling his morning coffee, "who found a metal washer in his Twinkie."

"Must have been one hell of a night if he didn't remember that," Roy said absently. Dick choked on his coffee and Roy looked up again. "Oh, you mean an actual Twinkie?"
pwp  kink  dick/roy  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Dodge-town by shrift
And it's time to play 'placate the dangerous drugged guy.' He's played this game lots of times. He just never thought he'd have to play it with Dick.

"The plants," Tim says. "Dick, I think you're under the influence of --"

[wriggles with glee]
pwp  dick/tim  batman  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Normal Problems by shrift
Tonight Tim is in Blüdhaven, perched on a tall building near the river. Kon thinks about landing next to him and saying hey for about half a second, but it's much more appealing to focus really hard and use his TTK to blow some icy-cold wind up Robin's cape.

Butt-freeze never gets old.

To Tim's credit, he doesn't twitch a muscle until Kon settles next to him on the building ledge, and then he just slowly lowers the batnoculars from his masked eyes and says, "What."

"Well, hello to you, too, Wonder Boy," Kon says. He makes a puppet out of his hand. "'How've you been, super cool best pal of me, Batman's li'l chum?'"

these weirdos i love them so
kon/tim  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Blind Date by shrift
Kon has a crisis. Tim wears pajamas.

AWW.
pwp  kon/tim  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Undercover by shrift
He really hates being stuck all week with his feet on the ground. So when Tim calls, Kon follows Tim's totally anal directions, lands on the roof, and waits patiently.

For about five whole seconds. The gargoyles always make him twitchy.

"Rob...?"

"Hey." Tim's voice comes from the shadows.

Kon squints at the darkness. "Hey. What's up?"

As usual, Tim's all business. "There's been a string of murders in this neighborhood. All male, under eighteen, and in the same line of work."

Kon crosses his arms. "What line of work is that?"

"Prostitution," Tim says, and steps out of the shadows.

And Kon... gapes.

Tim's not in uniform. He's so not in uniform.
crack  humor  kon/tim  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
The Ass - featherxxdreams
Damian looks up from his homework, eyes narrowing, “What are you two babbling about?”

“Dickie’s ass.”

Damian chokes, “What?”

“We’re betting on what Dick’s ass looks like under the spandex. Barbara will never tell so we’re devising a plan to find out.”

“Father would disapprove.” Damian says slowly, “Fifty that he has a tattoo.”
humor  gen  batman  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
Lady's Choice - Betty, Petra LeMaitre (Petra)
An exercise in Babs topping the most people in the least words.
pwp  dcu  fic  from delicious
october 2012 by lapsus_linguae
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