kit12123 + meta   228

Argumate — the Dune novels are the simple story of a...
the Dune novels are the simple story of a competition between Paul Atreides, his father Leto, his mother Jessica, companions Gurney Halleck and Duncan Idaho, Stilgar the Fremen, the Baron Vladimir Harkonnen and his nephew Feyd-Rautha, Princess Irulan, St. Alia of the Knife, the God-Emperor Leto II, the Bene Gesserit, the Bene Tleilax, the Honored Matres, the Spacing Guild, and a wide cast of supporting characters to see who can be the biggest fuckin’ drama queen bitch in the galaxy, and my friends the competition is tight
fandom:dune  meta 
20 days ago by kit12123
candy floss
necromancy? u mean recycling

look b*tch if youre just sitting n rotting in your familys 10th century crypt and im fighting off giant spiders with nothing but my wits and a shortsword you dont need your bones for anything but i sure do so whats the problem
meta  ahahahaha 
9 weeks ago by kit12123
I'LL SHOW YOU THE REAL SUPERPOWER OF TEAM WORK!! — listlesslion: Twilight is even funnier if you try...
Twilight is even funnier if you try to imagine how many people probably thought Bella was a vampire.

“You’re from Arizona, and you’re skin is STILL that pale?”

“Yeah, I can’t be around blood, it makes me…squeamish.”

“I know she keeps saying Edward jumped in front of the van and that’s why she’s okay, but that makes even less sense? He wasn’t even near her anyway.”

“The hottest guy in school was absolutely mesmerized by her after like a week”

I know I promised not to talk about Twilight anymore but the concept that after going to school with the Cullens for however long, it took a week for Bella’s new classmates to jokinglypassaround rumors that She’s The Vampire is a take I never expected and that we needed all along
fandom:twilight  meta 
11 weeks ago by kit12123
he ate this pussy like sunday brunch | the thing that pisses me off about 50 shades of...
the thing that pisses me off about 50 shades of grey isn’t that it’s twilight fanfiction, it’s that it’s bad ooc twilight fanfiction. the implication that edward would be into bdsm is so fucking dumb he’s a 100 year old virgin who cried and went into a week-long depression the first time he fucked bella he wouldn’t even consider the idea of fucking her until they were married because he didn’t want to compromise his virtue and you’re telling me he’s a dom? no, edward cullen has the most boring vanilla sex ever the only thing unconventional about the way bella and edward fuck is that bella tops and edward cries the whole time and bella gets fed up and goes to the other house to fuck rosalie and edward cries some more in his room alone
fandom:twilight  meta 
12 weeks ago by kit12123
So I've decided* that the only thing better than... - local rich person expert
So I’ve decided* that the only thing better than Politician’s Wife Ron Weasley is Ron & Hermione being a devistating political power couple like

Ron: I think I might quit and help George run the Wheezes.

Hermione: Oh… Well… If you’re sure this is what you want. If you’re sure. Then I guess it’s fine.

Ron: …did you involve me in your ten year plans without telling me again?

Hermione: You’d be Head Auror and I’d be Minister of Magic and nobody could stop us!

Ron: …okay give me the pitch.

(Harry is off happily teaching DADA at Hogwarts and scaring kids away from Dark Magic by telling them it’ll make their nose fall off like Voldemort so he’s been written out of Hermione’s plans)
fandom:harrypotter  meta 
march 2019 by kit12123
mud-foot: au where uncle aaron doesnt die but he... - arrives @ your fandom 5 years late with starbucks
au where uncle aaron doesnt die but he has still just found out his favorite nephew is spiderman so now hes just kinda like :/ damn i guess i gotta be a superhero now

its like batman and robin if batman were the sidekick. hes just sort of following miles around dragging his scrawny little butt out of tight spots and yelling encouragement. 

Spiderman pulls his phone out during the middle of a fight and is like “Things aren’t going very well, can you come pick me up?” and less than ten minutes later the Prowler crashes his motorcycle into the Green Goblin’s face.
fandom:spiderman  meta 
march 2019 by kit12123
annerbhp (The thing about Harry Potter as a character is...)
The thing about Harry Potter as a character is that he is insanely observant when he actually cares enough to pay attention. Meaning 90% of the stuff he deems unimportant flies over his head, but he makes these huge leaps of logic and intuition when he bothers to focus. Like in the books when it comes to anything relating to Voldemort or Death Eaters or People Not To Be Trusted (Draco, Umbridge). Growing up, he had to be able to see when a situation was going south long before the frying pan or Dudley’s fists came his way. But he also had to be able to ignore and tune out the constant flow of shit and neglect he was treated to.

If you think about it, for all the better aspects of Hogwarts, it still followed this same basic pattern. He had to pay close attention to the things trying to kill him (even classes took a back seat to this), but find a way to ignore and not acknowledge all the rumors and staring and people thinking he’s a prat or the heir of slytherin or a liar. I think this is why the arguments that Harry is a mushroom and notices nothing, and the arguments that he is deductively brilliant can exist side by side. He’s both. It’s also why, in my opinion, he tends to be ridiculously observant of Ginny once he starts to notice her as something important. She barely exists in the early narrative other than Someone to Be Saved. It’s also why Ginny can sometimes feel like she ‘comes from nowhere’ in the narrative. As far as Harry is concerned, she did come from nowhere. The switch in Harry’s brain went from Doesn’t Matter–Ignore to Very Important–Pay Close Attention, and BAM, there she was. Everywhere.
fandom:harrypotter  meta 
march 2019 by kit12123
echolalaphile: spatscolombo: So I accidentally... - Madame Bomb
So I accidentally learned today about this thing where lots of people ship Carmen Sandiego and Waldo from Where’s Waldo?

And on the one hand I love it, because it’s silly and hilarious and you can learn about it and giggle and move on OR you can think about it for a long time and get really into it and that’s a great thing about the Internet

But it really grinds my gears that all the fanart visions of the couple I could immediately see on google showed this really conventionally gendered arrangement where Waldo is like leading/supporting Carmen or rescuing her?

And it’s like exCUSE ME I get that they’d be a cute couple because they’re both hard to find, and because why not, but like she’s an ex-detective criminal mastermind unbound by time and space and he’s a tourist who can’t find his map they are hard to find for VERY DIFFERENT REASONS and you cannot convince me that fucking adorable bespectacled soft butch brings-a-walking-stick-to-the-beach dazed and confused WALDO would be in the driver’s seat of that operation I mean GOD
fandom:misc  meta 
february 2019 by kit12123
a month went by quickly. it didn't want to hang around. - Harry: I know it’s late and I am just going to...
Harry: I know it’s late and I am just going to spew a whole bunch of shit right now, but stay with me on this, because I think I might be on to something. 

Ron: Alright, mate, go for it. 

Harry: I think that THIS year I should be more proactive.

Hermione: Oh, yes, please. 

Harry: I think I should try to kill the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher BEFORE they try to kill me. 

Ron: …It’s worth a shot. 

Harry: I know, right? 

Hermione: NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
fandom:harrypotter  meta 
february 2019 by kit12123
a half-hearted murder — The Foxhole Court
Extra content from the author

The Foxhole Court

Two sections here: the questions submitted by tumblr users, and a miscellaneous collection of stories & factoids pulled from the oft-neglected blog. The questions aren’t in any particular order, though I did try to organize them by subject matter. Ish. Once the dust is settled a bit I’ll try to find a better sorting system.
fandom:allforthegame  meta 
february 2019 by kit12123
edward elric solidarity — funny things Ed and Al do after getting their...
funny things Ed and Al do after getting their bodies back (a non-exhaustive list):

- Ed fcking decks anything with his right hand (and almost breaks it after a while) because he keeps forgetting it’s not made of metal and no ed you cant just crush a can under your fist anymore stop

- Al forgetting to wear affect on his face sometimes. He just sits while people are talking to him with a stone-cold murder expression and Winry and Ed constantly remind him relaxed face al! (sometimes just under their breath) and they soon learn to tell him by just a signal by tapping their cheek twice and he shakes his head to snap out of it and smiles because yes! he can smile again!

- Ed’s right arm isn’t as heavy as automail so sometimes gestures just go flying like he’ll lift a plate and accidentally fckin fling the plate across the room behind himself because he accounts for the weight of his automail by accident and moves with way too much gusto

- Al getting pneumonia because he keeps sneaking outside whenever it rains to fcking stand in the rain

- Ed just lifting hot things w/ his right hand without an oven mitt and burning himself

- Al usually sitting with his legs curled close to his chest or legs folded because he couldn’t do that in his armoured body and it feels so nice!! he feels so small!!

- Ed being ambidextrous since he was forced to master writing with his left hand and he perfects the art of drawing transmutation circles with two hands at TOP EFFICIENCY SPEED just because he can
fandom:fma  meta 
february 2019 by kit12123
A shinobi is one who endures | Okay I’m sorry but I’m rewatching the chunin exams...
Okay I’m sorry but I’m rewatching the chunin exams arc and with how overdramatic and fake edgy Gaara is there is NO WAY his siblings don’t mock him for it as petty revenge the second he stops being a psychopath. Baki asks him where he’s going and his completely straight faced response is “to remind myself I’m alive” like okay ebony darkness dementia ravenway, it’s all fun and games now, but it’s not gonna be so edgy when your older brother uses this line to clown you every time he leaves a room for the next 2 and a half years.
fandom:naruto  meta 
january 2019 by kit12123
i do what i want
remembering that kakashi was fuckign 26 years old when he got assigned team seven is blowing my mind right now. I was naruto’s age when I got sucked into this shit and now I’m kakashi’s and like,,,I get it. my man got assigned the generation’s WORST of the WORST gremlin children and he did the best he fuckin’ could. he nearly dies on every mission because sasuke refuses to go to anger management and naruto is so dumb he probably can’t even read. he’s got like 7 summons that are dogs and he could be spending all his time with them but is he/?? no. he’s got a sharingan making him so Perpetually Exhausted it’s a straight up medical condition and he has to spend all his free time restraining the two finalists of Konoha’s Next Top Orphan from getting people killed instead of like….teaching them. 26 years old and all that unbelievable bullshit. god. and!! then when he finally gets to take a fucking nap they make him hokage I honestly can’t believe he did it. wasn’t even 30 fucking years old. I can’t believe he didn’t leave the damn village himself.
fandom:naruto  meta 
january 2019 by kit12123
a screaming romance goblin
So we know how two of the favorite superhero peril tropes are A) Threaten a Loved One and B) Villain unwittingly taking the in-civvies Hero as a hostage. Venom and Eddie’s situation presents an opportunity for a special hybrid of both.

Because honestly, both Venom and Eddie have all the subtlety of a firework stand in a bonfire and X Evil Organization is bound to tail the burly man-eating monster to Eddie’s home and

Goons, breaking down the door: Alright Brock, no more games

Eddie: What

Goons: Don’t play dumb here, Eddie. We know the truth and our employer is determined to have a long, violent chat with the bastard eating all of his men. So we’ll make this simple for you:

Goons: Where is your 10 ft tall cannibal boyfriend?


Venom, inside Eddie: Eddie. Eddie, tell them where he is

Eddie, going thru every stage of grief and inventing new ones: ………………

Venom, all up in Eddie’s everything, every slime cell of him laughing to tears: Tell them where your boyfriend is, Eddie 
fandom:marvel  meta 
january 2019 by kit12123
a month went by quickly. it didn't want to hang around. - everyone: Harry don’t do something stupid year 3:...
everyone: Harry don’t do something stupid

year 3: [blankly] why would I do something stupid

year 4: /I/ don’t do stupid things. Stupid things are just done… by me


year 6: [seen at 1:52]

year 7: stupid times call for stupid measures
fandom:harrypotter  meta 
january 2019 by kit12123
Only happy when it's complicated... • c-is-for-circinate: Man it’s weird, reflecting on...
Man it’s weird, reflecting on the Stargate franchise’s 17-season multi-movie television juggernaut now, in the context of the 90′s, the 2000′s, 9/11, military imperialism, and cultural shifts through the years.

Like, the original SG-1, at least up until season 8 or so, is in retrospect so obviously a Cold War narrative. The main thematic conflict the whole series is founded on is the idea of negotiation vs violence: when can we talk it out and when do we shoot? How can we keep our people safe in the face of overwhelming danger, when we know, the stronger we get and the harder we fight, the more we might provoke the enemy? What is it even ethical for us to do with and to and for another culture? There are fair-weather allies that become enemies that become allies again, there’s the literal Goa’uld scare of they could be anyone, and how would we even know?, and our biggest Earthside antagonists are either a shadowy three-letter government spy agency, or Russia. Cold War. It gets more complicated as seasons go on, as your biggest Goa’uld threat turns out to be Ba’al who looks like a legitimate businessman right here on Earth, as the Lucien Alliance starts putting itself together like the Russian Mafia in the aftermath of the fall of the USSR.

SGA on the other hand is 100% about the Iraq War/Afghanistan, starting when our intrepid band of protagonists roves off to another galaxy in search of power sources and weaponry they can claim for their very own. The entire Daniel Jackson ‘let’s talk it out!’ goes out the window–Wraith don’t negotiate, period, ever, and also nobody on our gate team particularly cares to try. Instead, our whole main thematic conflict is, how do we deal with the legacy of our forebearers’ mistakes, and also our own, which is absolutely a cornerstone question of the whole Iraq conflict. Every single recurring enemy in SGA was either created or made much, much worse specifically because of something our protagonists do, from Michael to the Asurans all the way back to waking the Wraith up in the first place. Most of the problems around the Pegasus galaxy were caused by the Ancients, who the natives call ‘the Ancestors’ and various members of the Atlantis team can literally claim as their own ancestors, screwing around and interfering and making a mess and then fucking off to let everybody else deal with it. I could probably write an entire essay. There is a massive essay to write.

And, right, in both of these shows, the military are the good guys!!! In SG-1, they need to be tempered by Daniel and his ‘hey maybe don’t shoot the first people we meet on a new planet’, but fighting the Goa’uld is good and right and even if we’re not going to kill them all, it’s better if we prove we can kill them all, just in case. There’s a lot of the warm-fuzzies of ‘we’re taking down genocidal Cold War dictator-proxies!’, which is very nice. There’s a whole lot less of ‘and then, the Vietnam War.’ There’s definitely reference to how the planets our heroes pick to draw their line in the sand often suffer for it far worse than Earth does, but it all kind of gets glossed over–it’s fine, bad things happen but it’s fine, it’s just the price of freedom. Which makes a lot of sense in a post-Cold War context, when the show is drawing from decades of tension and conflict that are over now. In 1996 and 1997, when the Cold War was over but everybody still remembered it, and good sci-fi about the threat of planetary nuclear annihilation or possibly getting taken over by aliens/communism was really appealing in a ‘and the good guys win!’ way. So we can pick the parts that make for good TV and admirable heroes, rewrite the history so it’s not as scary, and tweak it a little more to make the good guys always good.

SGA actually does a lot less skimming over of ‘hey here are all the reasons our protags are actually pretty awful!’ They’re explicitly responsible for pretty much every bad thing in the Pegasus Galaxy, and it comes up and gets talked about. Which makes a ton of sense in the context of 2004-2009 when the show aired, as the Middle East kept exploding and almost settling out and then exploding again, and probably it was all the US’s fault in the first place–the idea of a military that fucked up and created their own worst enemies was very much in the public consciousness. Which makes it even more interesting that SGA somehow managed to keep the military, and their various civilian and occasionally native allies, as the good guys. The ethic of the show seemed to be, ‘okay we fucked up, and every time we try to fix it we usually fuck something else up even worse, but at least we keep trying.’ The last guys who screwed Pegasus up said ‘the hell with it’ and took off, leaving Wraith and ruins and all sorts of gene-locked booby traps behind them, so our protags get all the credit for trying to stick it out even though they’re fundamentally operating on a really sketchy foundation of imperialism and would-be genocide.

It’s just really interesting watching these shows now. The early seasons of SG-1 feel so culturally distant, from the way they try so hard at feminism (and they are very sincere in trying very hard!) to the way the whole show is simultaneously so pro-military, and unabashedly, joyfully pro-science and discovery. Early 2000′s SG-1 goes out of its way not to even admit anything’s going on in the middle east at all, which is part of why it’s such a departure when John Sheppard shows up straight out of Afghanistan. Comparing Jack O’Neill and John Sheppard, and what rank and duty and obedience and insubordination mean to each of them in the context of the very different wars they each fought before they ended up among the stars, is super illustrative and super interesting. Comparing any of it to the world of 2018 is interesting, too, because I don’t know what a Stargate franchise would have to look like today. What war are we fighting any more? What war could we feel good about fighting? You don’t see a ton of sci-fi these days when the good guys are the government.
fandom:sga  fandom:sg-1  meta 
december 2018 by kit12123
Choo choo
howl straight up charging at the witch of the waste without using any magic at all is less absurd when you remember he plays rugby

Him having played rugby always fucks me up, because I usually picture Howl as this willowy, androgyne (you know, like in the movie) and then I’m like

Wait. He's probably fucking stacked.

bf howls position, as i understand it, is more about speed than slamming ppl left and right (with legs like these you can run away from all the problems) but like, 1) most rugby players are thicc af and 2) anyone who plays rugby has the instinct to tackle a bitch ingrained in their soul

howl is some kind of jock-nerd paradox. Imagine seeing this guy playing rugby and then floating into ur ethics class smelling of lavender and vanity
fandom:howlsmovingcastle  meta 
november 2018 by kit12123
Hey yall I had a fuckin thought  So, as it’s...
Edward fucking Elric. This fucking fight-me 12 year old troglodyte shows up to the exam and performs circle-less transmutation in front of mother fucking Bradley, demonstrating to one of the seven Actual Fucking Homunculi that he’d already opened the portal. Ed was literally prepped as a human sacrifice before he showed up to Central. A fully set human sacrifice showed up at the homunculi’s door, said “hey look what I can do!”, proved he’d opened the mother fucking portal already, and said “hey yeah hire me”. Human sacrifice, free shipping, no assembly required, handcuffs not included!

They could have just tossed Ed into a shoebox and kept him there until the Promised Day. They wouldn’t even need to make up an excuse he attacked the f u  c k i n g president. That’s fucking treason babey. He’s 12, he’s an orphan, he’s from a rural town in buttfuck nowhere, he’s literally the easiest person alive to disappear. They could have arrested him for assassination crimes, kept him in gay baby jail, and just popped him out for the Promised Day

What do they do instead?! “Oh lmao this kid’s great. Let’s give him infinite money, no supervision, no governmental responsibilities, access to all our secret resources, and toss him on a train to who-the-fuck-knows-where-land”

They fucking did that

And like? They then had the audacity to be concerned when Edward “Fight Me” Elric almost got himself killed about 293 times. Just an endless game of “I thought u were watching him” from one homunculus to another when Ed fucking absconds half-way across the globe to go entice some other hostile entity into murdering him to death. That’s the whole series. Every arc is Ed baiting death while the homunculi are in the background like “:/ wish he wouldn’t do that”
fandom:fma  meta 
november 2018 by kit12123
stars in your heart
i wonder what’s happening right now over at hogwarts

probably education since harry doesn’t go there anymore

Wanna bet

Next generation, chanting DO IT:

Teddy Lupin with metamorphosed bird wings for arms, standing in the astronomy tower: IM GONNA DO IT

fandom:harrypotter  meta 
september 2018 by kit12123
I took my meds too close to bedtime again and I... - My fandoms, let me show you them.
I took my meds too close to bedtime again and I need you all to know the dream I had last night involved Robin Williams becoming the new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts. Not, a character portrayed by Robin Williams, just Robin Williams as himself running around Hogwarts doing wandless magic and being as loud and big as possible because and I quote before I forget:

“Listen, children, I’m not saying all this bad shit that is happening isn’t scary and you shouldn’t be concerned–because you should!–but I’m telling you this now for free. Life is a boggart, it’s the biggest boggart of them all. You never know what it’s going to look like one moment to the next. And sometimes you just gotta laugh. It’s okay to laugh. It’s part of the grieving process. You need to grieve before you can heal. But it’s okay to laugh while you’re doing it.”

I didn’t wake up right after that, some more stuff happened in a hazy sort of way as the dream began to dissolve into conciousness, but I remember him yelling Expecto Patronum as he punched a Death Eater in the face. Because sometimes, evidently, you have to make your own happy memories.
fandom:harrypotter  meta 
september 2018 by kit12123
professorsparklepants: burgundydahlia: ...
It brings me SO MUCH joy that the plot of Chamber of Secrets basically happens because Lucius is terrified out of his mind of Arthur and Molly Weasley and their SEVeN kids who were all raised to hold the line in case anyone tried to start a genocidal regime again. They are so powerful and so dangerous to any attempted rise to power from the Death Eaters, and Lucius feels the need to try and marginalize and demonize them in order to decrease the threat they pose.

And boy was he right to be concerned, they are…unstoppable. Each and every one of them. You thought it was impressive that it took five Death Eaters to kill their uncles? Try having a couple Weasleys illegally on the airwaves, one destroying Voldemort’s Horcruxes, one protesting at Hogwarts, one running loose in the government, one housing escaped prisoners, and one getting foreign support!! More children than they can afford? Try more children than you can effectively stop!!

And then when they ALL show up to fight in the Battle of Hogwarts? What a trip for Lucius Malfoy! Hey bigots! Would you like to pick an opponent based on which Quidditch position they excel at, or do you wanna roll the dice and go with one of the brothers who got 12 OWLs? Those are your only two options because Weasleys are EVERYWHERE and the weak link is NO ONE. The fear that must have been in his heart when one or two of them was around every corner of the school taking down his DE pals…is so amazing to think about. Glorious. Iconic. Every Weasley has red hair, freckles, and a drive to destroy the concept of blood purity at all cost!!
fandom:harrypotter  meta 
september 2018 by kit12123
Hold onto me as we go.
I cannot believe that Hermione did not take advantage of that Rita skeeter’  article that said she was dating harry. I would be like  HELL YES BITCHES I FUCKED THE BOY WHO LIVED, THE BOY WHO LIVED IS MY FUCKING SEX TOY! GUESS WHAT? HE ALSO DID DRACO MALFOY, 70% OF THE GRYFFINDOR HOUSE, YOUR SISTER, AND YOU ARE THE NEXT!

she could ask their friends to spread they also fucked harry potter to different prophet’ reporters until gets so ridiculous that it lost all credibility.

“Yes, I did the potter” -Viktor Krum

“Of course, Harry is so lovely” - Fleur Delacour                                           

“I showed to him some nice stuff in the bath” - Cedric Digory (does not like to lie)

“He and Malfoy are often at each other” -Severus Snape and the entire Slytherin house

“At the same time” - Fred and George Weasley

“Harry truly is amazing, he is always gentle with us.” - Luna Lovegood with Neville Longbottom hiding behind her, nodding, mortified.

“Let’s just say that he can ride more than just a broom”- Oliver wood

“Let’s just say that he being able to catch the snitch with his mouth was not a coincidence” - Ginerva Weasley.

“He made us gay” - Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas.
fandom:harrypotter  meta  funny 
august 2018 by kit12123
a screaming romance goblin
the thing that pisses me off about 50 shades of grey isn’t that it’s twilight fanfiction, it’s that it’s bad ooc twilight fanfiction. the implication that edward would be into bdsm is so fucking dumb he’s a 100 year old virgin who cried and went into a week-long depression the first time he fucked bella he wouldn’t even consider the idea of fucking her until they were married because he didn’t want to compromise his virtue and you’re telling me he’s a dom? no, edward cullen has the most boring vanilla sex ever the only thing unconventional about the way bella and edward fuck is that bella tops and edward cries the whole time and bella gets fed up and goes to the other house to fuck rosalie and edward cries some more in his room alone
meta  ahahahaha  funny  fandom:twilight 
august 2018 by kit12123
A Misplaced Stone — the harry potter books rated by Harry's Sass™
the sorcerer’s stone: dudley asking harry if he wants to practice sticking his head down the toilet and harry replying “no thanks, the poor toilet’s never had anything as horrible as your head down it - it might be sick” like ooo!!! sick burn!!! good for an 11 year old but overall still in the developmental stage. 6/10

the chamber of secrets: dudley (once again lmao get rekt) telling harry “i know what day it is” and harry replying “well done, so you’ve finally learned the days of the week.” lockhart trying to be all Amazing Teacher™ and shit and telling harry “just do what i did, harry!” and harry saying “what, drop my wand?” overall good but not with as much of an Oomph™ factor as the sorcerer’s stone. 5/10

the prisoner of azkaban: ah yes!!! Harry’s Sass™ in its adolescent years!!!! no longer a toddler, now solidly about 11 years old. draco making fun of harry for fainting at the quidditch game bc of the dementors and saying “shame [the broom] doesn’t come with a parachute - in case you get too near a dementor.” and harry replying “pity you can’t attach an extra arm to yours, malfoy. then it could catch the snitch for you.” 8/10 purely because he fucking MURDERED whiny bitch ass baby malfoy ha ha take that

the goblet of fire: a good amount of sass!! a healthy amount of sass! perhaps a bit held back though (come on harry get it together). rita skeeter annoying harry and asking for a word and jk rowling LITERALLY writing “‘yeah, you can have a word,’ said harry savagely. ‘good-bye’” like FUCK he is canon savage in this book!!!! DAMN!!!!! and then he reks malfoy AGAIN “you know that expression [your mother’s got], like she’s got dung under her nose? has she always looked like that, or was it just because you were with her?” MOTHERFUCK GO OFF 9/10

the order of the phoenix: HOLY GRAIL OF HARRY’S SASS™. THE MOTHERLOAD. GOD DAMN. when vernon asks him why he’s listening to the news again and harry replies w/ “well, it changes every day, you see.” when hermione’s warning him about picking fights w/ malfoy bc malfoy will make life hard for him and harry’s like “wow, i wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life” like fuck harry!!! tell us how u really feel!!!! literally ANY TIME he talks to an adult he doesn’t like. sassing dudley left & right, putting him in his place w/ “this is night, diddykins. that’s what we call it when it goes all dark like this” like fuck harry brought out the big guns w/ “diddykins”. overall wonderful, truly. a good healthy teenage dose of sass. 100/10


the deathly hallows: “it’s time you learned some respect!” “it’s time you earned it” sassing the minister of magic hooooooo boy. not much else bc harry’s too busy like saving the world and shit. so extra points for multitasking and being an overall well rounded sass-er. 8/10
fandom:harrypotter  meta 
july 2018 by kit12123
hey, i'm seeing hamilton uk in a month and i'm...
So far, up until London, all the Burrs I’ve seen have fallen on a spectrum that goes from 1 (I am cool and collected and sleek and prepared and On Purpose and Lying In Wait; this comes naturally to me and until I met goddamn Hamilton I was sure it was the way to success. But he keeps winning so maybe I need to change my game plan??? You want fire, America?? I will BE fire. I will Light The Frickin Sky– oh shit I fucked up) to 10 (there is a FIRE inside my heart, my ambition and my drive BURNS ME ALIVE, and I keep all that passion shoved and contained and shackled deep down inside my soul except when I’m at the height of the song Wait For It, when the audience gets the first glimpse of Me and it puts them on the thudding edges of their seats, because I think control, patience, grit, and determination is the way to success, even if I have to fight with myself to embody those things. I will wait. I will strive. I will survive everything thrown at me and I Will Win, using this inner, burning core of myself to drive me forward– but Hamilton is on fire just like me, he doesn’t hide any of it, he just goes, and he just Wins. How does that work? It’s not fair and I’m angry about it? Well fine let ME finally release all the chains I’ve bound myself with – oh shit I fucked up)

Most Burrs fall somewhere along that spectrum, 1 to 10, either on fire within and finally letting go at Room Where It Happens, or full of a more icy drive and instead lighting themselves on fire at that moment. But Burr is sleek, controlled, purposeful, powerful, suave, ambitious– the question generally is whether that is his nature, or an affect he puts on, something calm and controllable and purposeful in a life that’s had so much random tragic chaos in it.

But Terera? He walked on stage and it was like… Ok so this Burr definitely got stuffed into lockers and had his lunch money stolen at college. Dude, YOU kill a man?
fandom:hamilton  meta 
july 2018 by kit12123
the great chicago trash fire
one of the most important things to me about harry potter is its portrayal of happiness. in the harry potter world, happiness isn’t just a feeling—it’s a weapon. look at how harry and his friends fight: with riddikulus, laughter stymies a creature made of fear; with expecto patronum, the very memory of happiness beats back the grim forces of depression.

the weaponization of positivity stretches beyond that. fred and george weasley’s inventions, meant for laughter, turn into arms against umbridge’s regime. and after their departure from hogwarts, their joke shop becomes not only the single bright spot in diagon alley (literally & figuratively) but a hub of defensive magic. the whole weasleys’ wizard wheezes narrative serves as maybe the clearest example in the series that happiness can act as both shield and sword.

there is something deeply empowering in a depiction of happiness as something so tangible and usable. as a profoundly depressed person, i often feel myself scrounging for happy memories and clutching them close; i find myself grasping for laughter in the dark. the physicalization of expecto patronum is not a quantum leap from reality. the boggart’s laughter as combat fuel, the weasleys’ levity as not just a choice but a difficult and defiant one—it’s all familiar.

the series has its share of darkness, but it revels most in the light. it lets us believe that the act of joy is not small, trivial, or inconsequential. happiness is something not just to be lived—it is to be wielded, on your own behalf and the behalves of the people around you, to battle against the world’s heavier elements. harry potter teaches us this.
fandom:harrypotter  meta 
april 2018 by kit12123
the real victim in Pride and Prejudice is... | obi wan what the fuck is brunch
the real victim in Pride and Prejudice is Georgiana Darcy, bc u know her brother spent at least two weeks lying around in his Regency Jammies eating Benjamin and Jerrold’s out of ye olde carton feeling sorry for himself bc his crush not only didn’t like him back but tore him to shreds in the process and Georgie had to deal with that and then said crush shows up at their HOUSE and she has to live w both of them probably stealing lovelorn yearning glances at each other the whole damn day while knowing if she even SUGGESTS to her brother that maybe perhaps his crush doesn’t hate his entire guts anymore he’ll just be all tragic about it bc “you don’t KNOW her Georgiana she dESPISES me and i DESERVE it”
fandom:prideandprejudice  meta 
april 2018 by kit12123
depressioné, female characters in naruto in order of how much...
female characters in naruto in order of how much kishimoto hates them

Rin. really out there dying 4 male angst……! deserved better
tenten. alone at the end AND the owner of…a shop? shake my head! deserved better! kishimoto did her wrong
kurenai. yall……i could make a whole list. deserved better
sakura. stay at home mom? while fuck all sasuke out there doin what? jerking off with one arm! anyway! deserved better!!!!!! also a lesbian!
ino. sai who? shes gay!
konan. Shouldnt have died. deserved better and was a goth lesbian
every female character in naruto deserved better. kishimoto wont answer my emails and has put a restraining order against me. plea
fandom:naruto  meta 
april 2018 by kit12123
thetruthinesswillsetyoufree: but uGH book!harry... - DO-IT-YOURSELF DRARRY
but uGH book!harry was so passionate and charismatic and witty and sarcastic and a natural leader and he didn’t fucking need ginny to yell at a group to stfu to get them to listen to him because if harry wanted you to listen he would MAKE YOU FUCKING LISTEN because when he was angry he was intimidating as fuck and he had this intensity about him like he was usually pretty chill and laid back and up for a laugh but you knew if you really pissed him off he might kill you because he had so much inner rage because of his shitty life and sometimes he would explode and he also had an ego like he was humble but also arrogant at times and he could be such a douche but also super nice and like he’ll save your life but he won’t bother being your friend because who the fuck are you to him really and jesus fucking christ HE WAS SO INTERESTING and movie!harry is like blandass oatmeal with no flavor like he was just such a flat character with no charisma NEVER FORGET WHAT THEY DID TO HARRY.
fandom:harrypotter  meta 
february 2018 by kit12123
andhumanslovedstories: andhumanslovedstories: ... - boldly gaying
upon learning Shuri is 16 in Black Panther, I quietly revise all my original shipping plans from “adults” to “Shuri is a hopeless baby lesbian with a crush on every single Dora Milaje and soon a big useless enormous crush on MJ, who is like a semi competent but mostly just grungy bisexual with a super popular twitter account that Shuri is obsessed with and MJ is s t o k e d about everything about Wakanda and tweets that she’s doing her senior research project on Wakandan tech and T’Challa, who follows his baby sister’s online crush’s twitter so he can forward Shuri the most embarrassing tweets that will make her furious (“YES BROTHER I DID SEE THAT SELFIE AND I DON’T NEED YOU TO REMIND ME OFF IT”), is like “this is the moment I was born for. This is why I became king” and tweets MJ like “we’re doing youth outreach, come to Wakanda, my very talented and smart and accomplished sister will give you a personal tour :)”  and MJ and Shuri simultaneously die” 
fandom:marvel  fandom:spiderman  fandom:blackpanther  meta 
february 2018 by kit12123
phantomrose96: I read Hamlet back in high school...
I read Hamlet back in high school and to this day my absolute favorite thing about it was when Guildenstern was trying to fool Hamlet into doing something or other and Hamlet’s savvy to it but rather than saying “you’re lying and trying to trick me” instead Hamlet outta nowhere whips out this flute and tells Guildenstern to play it.

And Guildenstern is all “I dont know how to play a flute, my lord”

And Hamlet takes a dramatic pause before he absolutely ruins Guildenstern with, “Well thats funny considering you thought you could play me”
nonfic  meta 
january 2018 by kit12123
I Know Nothing About Cloning Dinosaurs, harry potter was so messed up guys not the book...
harry potter was so messed up guys

not the book series

the character

he was so messed up like he lived in a closet and was hungry and treated like crap and no one helped him escape that life for a decade and then he finally gets to know his heritage and his family and oops kiddo you’re kind of famous?? wizard jesus??? so deal with that without any kind of adult guidance whatsoever you’re eleven and grew up in a house without any kind of emotional support you’re mature enough to handle that and THEN he finds out that he’s actually got people in this world that want him and want to love him and he finds out that… this world… hates them???  like one’s a werewolf and the other is a “criminal” and this world that celebrates his life hates the people that want to genuinely love him and care for him??? and the family that also loves and protects him are treated like crap because they are poor?????? and aren’t racist??? 

then he grows up a bit more and then suddenly he’s got this fuckin’ genocidal war lord out for his head specifically and he’s killing people and shit and NO ONE BELIEVES HIM they literally look at him like YEAH RIGHT YOU ARE JUST THE LITTLE BABY THAT SURVIVED A BAD NIGHT YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING and Harry’s like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

fandom:harrypotter  meta 
january 2018 by kit12123
Asphodel and Wormwood - Slytherin and Eton: A Primer on the British School...

The notion of Houses, defining people at age 11, is already a weird way to handle things, after all, and defining an entire group of them as evil from the start? Yeah that’s not great, particularly if you identify with aspects of them. I myself would probably be a Slytherin or a Ravenclaw, so I can understand this distaste.

But…here’s the thing. The reasons for treating Slytherin this way are not entirely diagectic in nature. The house is the centre of a massive pile up involving world building, characterisation and most importantly some fairly blunt and pointed social commentary about the British School system and society at large.

It’s been a running gag that what racism is to the American political discussion, classism is to the British. This is not entirely true (for one thing we are certainly not over racism or xenophobia here), but there is a nugget in there. British society is heavily class stratified society. We have some of the worst mobility in the developed world, and much of our political system is dominated by a very small part of society.
fandom:harrypotter  meta 
november 2017 by kit12123
floateron: CHECK OUT your differences in wand... - "Why?" Because fuck you, thats why
CHECK OUT your differences in wand technique here and how fluidly and casually Ron throws a curse in comparison to Harry and Hermione Hermione has done the reading and is technically perfect of course Elbow straight; wrist bent Wand tip aligned with left sightline left arm held loosely behind her for balance Harry hasn’t ever done the reading Grip too tight; elbow locked Shoulders raised Left elbow cranked in awkwardly against his body Kids’ll imitate his awful technique and Junior Aurors it’ll make their parents nuts; don’t twist your neck like that I don’t care what Auror Potter does When you save wizardkind you can hold your wand however you want until then drop your shoulders Ron’s been around wand users since birth practiced with twigs and then his brothers’ wands Look at how the movement flows from his center the way he uses his whole body throws out his opposite hand behind him to counterbalance the movement Harry and Hermione get their wands into position and then throw the curse Ron’s spell starts mid-motion because he knows his wand will be in position in time
fandom:harrypotter  meta 
october 2017 by kit12123
The Hero of Three Faces • Idea for a Superman origin movie
Idea for a Superman origin movie

built around two solid points:
1) Lois Lane is the lead character; and
2) The audience dose not know who is playing Superman going into the movie.

So the movie centers around a young Lois, who’s desperately trying to get a job as a reporter at the Daily Planet, despite a hiring freeze as the printed journalism business struggles to keep up, and despite the fact she has no prior journalism experience (at least, not outside of an expensive degree that has yet to start paying for itself). Even though no one at the Planet will even return her calls, she barges in in the middle of a work day, trying to get an interview. She bounces off a lot of people (a number of them tall guys with dark hair and nice eyes who she barely notices) until she tracks down Perry White, who tells her, sarcastically, that he’ll hire her on the spot if she can bring him a properly sourced article revealing the story Metropolis’s new hero, who just yesterday stopped a runaway train with his bare hands. 
fandom:superman  meta 
october 2017 by kit12123
Incorrect Naruto Quotes <Kakashi: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What...>
Kakashi: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Yamato: Have everyone stand.

Sakura: Bring three more chairs.

Naruto: The best seven of the lot can sit down.

Sai: Kill three.
fandom:naruto  meta 
september 2017 by kit12123
Azkabanter — 3 AM in the Boy's Dormitories
3 AM in the Boy's Dormitories

Ron: Hey Harry?

Harry: What

Ron: Do you think Voldemort was a virgin?

Harry: Seriously Ron-

Ron: I was just wondering-

Harry: *sighs* *pauses* In the Chamber of Secrets, the memory had him in 5th year...yeah, he wasn't a virgin

Seamus: Imagine being the lass to do the frick-frack with ol' Dark Lord Voldy

Dean: The Gryffindor boy's dorm; the place where we can talk about sex with the Dark Lord but not say the word sex.

Seamus: *throws pillow at Dean*

Neville: *after pause* Doing the Do with You Know Who.

Ron: He Who Must Not Be Laid
fandom:harrypotter  meta 
august 2017 by kit12123
capt. Emma Weasley • HBP: How did Harry not realize the hand writing in...
HBP: How did Harry not realize the hand writing in the Half-blood Prince’s potion book was the same as the hand writing he had spent 5 years reading off a black board?

#For the main character of such a good book series #He really is a dumbshit #Ooh what is this long skinny broomstick shaped package? #ITS A BROOMSTICK NO WAY

#Slytherin house is a snake #heir of slytherin can talk to snakes #HMM I WONDER WHAT’S IN THE FUCKING CHAMBER OF SECRETS #MAYBE IT’S A FUCKING CHIHUAHUA #see this is why he’s not in ravenclaw
fandom:harrypotter  meta 
august 2017 by kit12123
wait how did I
The thing about Persuasion that just kills me is that the central premise— “I hope the person who broke my heart has a miserable life and I get to watch them be humiliated while I get everything I ever wanted” is so universal.

But Wentworth is only able to fully enjoy it for like A DAY before he starts realizing how terrible it is. He watches Anne suffer in silence and he hates it. He watches her being treated like an inconvenience and a joke and a piece of furniture and he hates it. He hears sneering comments at her expense and he hates it. He spends evening after evening in her company, where he is celebrated as a handsome, dashing hero while she is shoved to the side and ignored and he hates it.

He probably spent a lot of heartbroken hours out on the sea wishing revenge on her (like ten years’ worth), but then he gets to see it happening and revenge turns out not to be that sweet after all. He probably thought “I hope she never gets married to anyone else and she has to spend the rest of her miserable life with her miserable family, listening to them talk about nothing and regretting ever letting me go.” But then he has to watch her live through it, and it is just excruciating. Watching her bite her tongue. Watching her keep her eyes down on her clasped hands. Watching her silently accept everything as if she deserves it.
fandom:janeausten  meta 
july 2017 by kit12123
tornado apologist, what if wizarding america isn’t silly
what if ilvermorny IS the only ‘wizarding school’ in america, with ‘wizarding school’ being defined as a wizard-only establishment where they teach nothing but magic?

aside from how unprepared that leaves kids for the rest of life, there just isn’t the population density to support wizard-exclusive pocket-universe enclaves anywhere but the east coast and possibly los angeles. even chicago is more spread out than that, and when it comes to mid-size cities like minneapolis and st. louis, forgeddaboudit. not even wizards would choose to live crammed cheek by jowl on quaintly crooked pedestrian-only streets when they could have a three-bedroom prairie-style on a wooded half-acre in edina.

so i’m thinking, yeah, ok, most american magicals don’t send their kids to wizard school. kids go to regular school and have wizarding clubs and retreats and summer camps instead. gives new meaning to “one time at band camp.”

the stuff about wand permits and other odd regulations makes sense for a small bureaucracy that doesn’t really understand why it can’t control things the way european magical governments do. it’s kind of a cargo cult legislation. probably most americans don’t even use a wand most of the time. european wand-focused magic might be the Done Thing among the WASP contingent, but everyone else undoubtedly knows at least something about navajo healing ritual, haitian voodoo, lakota dance magic, chinese feng-shui warding techniques, etcetera. taking away a person’s wand doesn’t take away their magic. you can’t say ‘corn pollen permit’ with a straight face and they sell chalk at the corner store.
fandom:harrypotter  meta 
july 2017 by kit12123
For Love and Profit
Katara is a dark female lead. It’s easy to forget, because she’s the Mom Friend™ and she’s so loving and she’s the healer but Katara is also a person that about a month after promising to never use bloodbending again, USED IT. She premeditated an attack to use it and she used emotional blackmail to carry out that attack. Katara has, from season 1, put her friends first, but her feelings before that. She wants to do what’s right, mentally. But emotionally? Katara wants what Katara wants. It’s a complex side of female characters we do not get in fiction. That someone can be both the light and the dark. She is the moon, always shifting between the brightest and darkest points during this very long night.

Then you get Zuko, the masterfully written redemption of a character. I don’t think anyone can argue that Zuko’s change from one dimensional whiny villain to desperately trying to redeem himself boy wasn’t amazing. You could argue it’s the best thing written for television, never mind a kid’s show. And his redemption. His confrontation of his abuse. Him receiving everything he ever asked for and realizing it wasn’t what he needed, then taking the steps to fix his mistakes. All that was beautiful and complex and hard and understated within the show. Which is perfect. The show trusted us with knowing more than they told us, and that’s hard to do.

Both Katara’s darkness and Zuko’s redemption were confronted the most during season 3. They told us this show understood moral complexities without losing its optimism. Katara didn’t kill because she couldn’t. Zuko did the right thing because he wanted to. For all the greyness of them and their actions, they chose the light. Which, again, isn’t something you’re likely to get on an adult show.

Then we have Aang.
fandom:atla  meta 
july 2017 by kit12123
Clocks, Hours, Time in Showers, urban-emo: q33r: yourperfectlittleanarchist: ...
You know why Harry Potter is amazing? 99% of fan theories, headcanons and meta could be canon because Harry is about as observant as a brick wall. Did Slytherins come back to fight in the Battle of Hogwarts? Did Draco Malfoy enjoy crossdressing? Was Hermione transgender? Who knows, certainly not Harry

Harry didn’t notice Hermione time traveling around him for a whole year or his own teacher’s hand writing

Harry didn’t notice that he was a wizard

The glass is just gone I don’t know maybe that just happens with snakes sometimes. 
fandom:harrypotter  meta 
july 2017 by kit12123
Rocket Sith Blasting Off Again! — redrikki: grand-duc: #star wars #Luke Skywalker...
  #but anyway: just for a second #i want to touch on how interesting it is to me that TECHNICALLY SPEAKING #Luke IS the bad student #he throws away almost every piece of advice Yoda and Obi-Wan give him  #and in the process saves the day #and yet; fandom doesn’t treat him that way  #and they don’t treat his mentors as bad mentors: even though Luke is only able to save the galaxy by NOT listening to them#Luke is still seen as ‘the Good One’ in comparison to Anakin #WHICH HE IS; MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT THAT  #but when it comes down to: who made a bigger effort to mold themselves into the person Yoda and Obi-Wan thought a Jedi should be #the answer is unquestionably Anakin 'yes Master. I try Master. I’m sorry Master. Obi-Wan’s going to kill me. #No I can’t go save Obi-Wan from Geonosis bc the Council Told Me Not To  #Skywalker #who wasn’t necessarily the Good student #but oh boy did he try to be #and that was his undoing
fandom:starwars  meta 
july 2017 by kit12123
tell them stories - ecc-poetry: kranja: ecc-poetry: “La sirena y...
Holy crap, this is incredible. As a natively bilingual Latina woman, allow me to dive into a full analysis.

First, I should tell you my experience of reading this. I didn’t even look at the English at first, because I didn’t know that the mistranslation was the point, and of course I didn’t need it. So I read the whole poem in Spanish and thought it was really sad and moving. Then I looked at the English and my eyebrows went right up to my hairline. Why the hell would you translate it this way, I thought. 

Then I read the caption and realized that this is a genius way of demonstrating how translation into English can be an act of colonization and violence.

The reason this mistranslation is so brilliant is that it takes a story about a mermaid trying to forgive a man who’s committed senseless violence against her, and turns it into a story about a man who uplifts a woman to a better life out of the kindness of his heart. And the thing is, that’s exactly what happens to so many stories from colonized cultures when they’re adapted by the oppressor. Translation into English, and further the cultural language of the oppressor, can be an act of violence and erasure rather than one of respect.
poetry  nonfic  meta  history 
july 2017 by kit12123
Space Miscellanea | #there are so few moments where padmé is unwatched...
#there are so few moments where padmé is unwatched and alone#because 90% of her scenes are about her relationship with anakin or her role in the Senate#and then she’s either perceived through the public eyes- as a politician#or as this fixed idealized persona her husband wants her to be and which is not /her/#but here she’s just herself – left bare and aching and with nothing but her failure and abandonment and fear#and this is the padmé amidala who deeply moves me as a character#the one i find really tragic#more than the senator or the queen or the doomed lover that the fandom wants her to be#this very lonely woman in a fancy empty room watching her life and everything she ever held dear turn to ash before her#she failed in more than one way and she lied herself about a lof of things (the republic her husband perhaps even herself)#but she deserved more than this#more than the betrayal and the powerlessness and this empty room at the end of nothing
fandom:starwars  meta 
july 2017 by kit12123
Fandom And Stuff | posingasme: the-weaver-of-worlds: ...
A depressed guy moves into a haunted house with 7 demons, each corresponding to a deadly sin. But, they’re all trying to help him get back on his feet; Pride helps with self confidence, Lust helps him get laid, etc.

Envy: “Glut, back off the guy, okay?”

Gluttony: “I’m just saying he could stand to gain a few pounds! I made spaghetti!”

Sloth: “After we eat, it’s gonna be time for a nice nap. We’ve earned it!”

Pride: “Damn right we did!”
nonfic  meta  religion  fandom:bible 
july 2017 by kit12123
In CoS when they try to sneak into Myrtle’s... - famous and brightest darling
In CoS when they try to sneak into Myrtle’s bathroom to ask her about her death, McGonagall catches them and Harry makes up the excuse that they wanted to see Hermione in the hospital wing and Minnie doesn’t give them detention and then comes this and since we all know Harry’s dumbest excuse, here’s the official suggestion to rate all of Harry’s excuses
fandom:harrypotter  meta  ahahahaha 
june 2017 by kit12123
Promenade and Repose
The thing that is getting to me the most about news of Carrie Fisher’s autopsy report is not the results themselves, but the way the media is handling it. Like it’s a Gotcha moment—like somehow we were tricked into thinking she was a better person than she actually was.

And that is profoundly bullshit.

Carrie was open about being an addict. Her opening line from her iconic stand up show (and book by the same name) “Wishful Drinking” was quite literally, “Hi, I’m Carrie Fisher, and I’m an alcoholic.”

She talked at length and in often brutal depth about her problems with substance abuse, her compulsive self destructive tendencies, and her dependencies to both illegal and prescription drugs. She wrote about it in her books, she talked about it on talk shows. She made an entire comedic stand up performance out of it, detailing the lengths she went to in order to try and regain some semblance of safety and normalcy in her life. 

She was brutally honest that every single day was a struggle for sanity after years and years of attempting to self medicate a mental illness that for most of her life was mistaken for feckless lack of self control. 

She was bright, and beautiful and bold about it. And she didn’t have to be.

Yes. Carrie Fisher was an addict, she had drug dependency problems related to her mental health. There was a time she kept it hidden, but after she made the decision to come out about it, she stuck by that decision and became a champion, for her and everyone like her who struggles. Because she never wanted anyone to suffer like she did in order to get help. And she did it with as much grace and humility as she could manage—and a whole lot more indignity, immodesty, crass humor and love as well. Because that’s who she was and she cared.
fandom:starwars  nonfic  meta 
june 2017 by kit12123
marina | Wonder Woman (2017)
So, I saw the movie on May 31st (in a theater where FOUR TIMES the whole room clapped for Wonder Woman on screen) and then managed to sell an article about it to VICE: Wonder Woman's Best Superpower Is Destroying Sexist Tropes

(The title was actually 100% the editor's invention, as usual, but it's not totally inaccurate)

However, I had about one billion thoughts when I left the theater (I actually ended up watching the movie twice in 3 days, NO REGRETS) and I knew this article was not even an eight of what I thought was interesting about the movie. So. this will be less of a review and more just random thoughts and flail.
fandom:dcu  fandom:wonderwoman  meta 
june 2017 by kit12123
Something Else - claidilady: cwnerd12: foxnewsfuckfest: ...
furthermore, what in the fuck did the rest of the now united states do period? I’m here looking at the fact that half my family got gadsten purchased in and….where did we go to school?? are you telling me that the republics of California and Texas didn’t have schools at some point or does JKR just not know they tried to be their own countries…? i CAN see the north-east coast having ONE major wizarding school (it’s small and well…it makes sense to some extent) but the south? Texas? California? Hell, what about everything in the US that was Ex-Mexico in general? the east coast dominates a pretty damn strong narrative of “we made the USA” and british colonialism and the colonies blah blah blah, but the first colonial settlements were NOT in the north east at all. 

I mean, okay you put something in the NE but like…hombre, Florida was settled in 1565 by colonizers. 

actually this really bothers me because it feeds into this North East/New England and then later “13 Colonies”/”Deep South” narrative that the crux of American history is all based on those 13 states and nothing else happened anywhere of the same importance. This is of course, bullshit. Ilvermorny was probably the second or third magical school to be established in the US probably some time after the one established in Florida. 
fandom:harrypotter  meta 
may 2017 by kit12123
Tumbling down tumbling down..., It occurs to me that one possible reason why I...
It occurs to me that one possible reason why I find fairies of the Fair Folk Beautiful and Terrible Kings and Queens Blah Blah boring and vaguely distasteful is that when you strip down all the glamour, they’re basically bored irresponsible rich kids randomly fucking with average people for their amusement just because they can. Like I get that Spring Storms Made Flesh and Lords of the Secret World but if Kellyaghnn from PE invited you to a Victorian-themed party complete with 1000$-a-piece tiny hats at her sixteen-room mansion with all her immaculately spray-tanned friends who giggle about What Fools These Working Classes Be, and then when you ate a single raisin promptly told you that now you have to stay in her house and work as her servant for free for the rest of your life to pay it off, possibly while dressed as a farm animal, you wouldn’t respond by sighing dreamily about how she’s Beyond Good and Evil.
fandom:fairytales  meta 
may 2017 by kit12123
so 12 yr old me was obsessed with the variability...
so 12 yr old me was obsessed with the variability of robin hood’s mythos (but mostly marian)

Let’s talk about the times Robin survives Marian, when she is the fair memory who haunts him all his days, the wild eyes he learns to live without, the part of his heart he teaches to heal;

And the times Marian survives Robin, when she stands at the firelight’s edge and looks over these brave men, these few and merry men, and says with the even, carrying voice that she did not learn from Robin, this is not the end of us.

Marian the shepherdess, with her loyal sheep dog and her loyal Robin, a Marian who understands being hungry, who understands patience and how to find a lost ewe, who knows the hills of Nottingham better than the sheriff or the outlaw and delights in outwitting them both.

Marian the archer, the way she held competition between her teeth til it begged for mercy; or the single daughter of a destitute house, who took up poaching in the king’s wood and knows the meaning of silence but somehow, despite it all, falls for a brash youth with a big mouth and a bigger heart.

A Marian who fights; or a Marian who sews and listens and whispers and smuggles out who and what Robin needs; a Marian who gets lost in the woods, who gets held up on the road or who gets suspicious in the market when rough men trade silver for bread and cloth; a Marian who is the heart of their cause and the head of their crimes.
fandom:robinhood  meta 
april 2017 by kit12123
bluefall — phinarei: aintnobodygottime4datshit: ...
But Cap is a little different. Cap, actually, is a lot different, because Steve Rogers is a white man with blue eyes and blonde hair. Steve Rogers is not just physically fit and able-bodied, but an outright ubermensch who can tough out gunshot wounds and knock around cars. Steve Rogers would be treated like a goddamn king in Hitler’s Germany, he is literally everything they claim to love and want and honor. Steve does not stand to gain greatly by fighting Nazis. Steve stands to gain greatly by joining them. The only thing he, personally, can achieve by his battle is personal loss; at best, of institutional privilege over basically everyone he’ll ever meet, at worst, of his very life.

If you think it is an accident that two Jewish guys made this character the dedicated, justice-loving ultimate enemy of the Nazi state, I do not know what to tell you other than that you are hilariously, incomprehensibly, obviously wrong.

This is a guy who could have the bad guys eating out of his hand, but opposes them instead because it’s the right thing to do, full stop. No matter the cost, no matter what anyone else says he in particular should care about due to his own station, he’s going to help people instead of hurting them. Steve Rogers is not just a guy who punches Nazis, he is a promise to Jewish kids that Gentiles, too, can and will punch Nazis, and a reminder to Gentiles that just because they’re not Jewish is no excuse not to. More than that, even. He is a promise to every marginalized fan that yes, there really are allies who will fight for you all the way to the end. He is an example to every privileged fan that real heroism means being that ally for others, that it is not only possible but important and even imperative to defend the less privileged. If Diana teaches us that we can fight for ourselves, Steve teaches us that we can fight for others. And that is a kind of hope and inspiration that most superheroes never even get to pretend to.

And so think about what Spencer is saying, when he says that that isn’t real.
fandom:captainamerica  meta  nonfic  politics 
april 2017 by kit12123
do you honestly think that the CEO of marvel who is an outspoken trump supporter and pumped millions of money into the trump campaign doesn’t know what he’s doing by pushing the nazi faction into the limelight of his comics?

turning captain america, the literal symbol for american nationalism and patriotism, into a supporter of hydra and therefore a nazi, is not a writing accident. it is deliberate.

their latest little ~fuck up~ of asking comic stores to re-brand their stores and work uniforms with hydra logos, is not just a PR gaffe. it’s deliberate.

their continuous campaign to make nazis into a faction readers are supposed to find exciting, supposed to align themselves with, supposed to wear on their shirts like a uniform, is not an accident in the kind of political climate we’re in right now. it’s deliberate.
fandom:captainamerica  meta  politics 
april 2017 by kit12123
A Robotic Work in Progress • You know what I think is fascinating: There are...
There are people who tend to criticize the Star Wars franchise on a whole, as being very black and white.  But I think the current Star Wars movies have done something really interesting with that:

We see a man, raised from infancy as a Stormtrooper, brainwashed and with no other external moral compass, who is ordered to take part in a massacre, but chooses not to.  Later, he seizes the opportunity to rescue a tortured prisoner and escape with him.

We see a scientist ordered to build a death weapon, still manage to leak out information to the people who can stop it, and build in weaknesses that can be exploited.

We see a career Imperial choose to defect rather than continue to work for a corrupt regime.

The new movies have given us a number of stories about people who on the wrong side, by choice or by force, but still choose to do what’s right in the end.

And that’s why I get so frustrated by fans who insist that Kylo Ren MUST have a redemption arc, because Star Wars is “about redemption.”

Because they’re right and they’re wrong.  Star Wars is about CHOICE.  It’s about people who choose to do the right thing, even when it’s hard, even when it’s painful, and even when they might have started on the wrong side.  
fandom:starwars  meta 
april 2017 by kit12123
emilysidhe: J K Rowling worked very hard in the...
Severus Snape used his position of authority as a teacher to bully the weaker students in his class, especially Neville Longbottom, relentlessly and viciously.  He himself was abused as a child by his Muggle father and instead of this instilling in him sympathy and compassion, he projected the internalized self-hatred into a disdain for weakness and inflicted this same abuse on any children who showed the same vulnerability he felt at the time.  This is inexcusable.

Severus Snape also spent the entirety of the seventh book assigning a rebellious Neville Longbottom to detention with Hagrid, where he knew he would be safe, and convincing the Carrows that his blood-status made him worth recruiting despite his affiliations and basically doing all he could to protect Neville and the other DA members and is probably the only reason they survived long enough to go into hiding in the Room of Requirement.
fandom:harrypotter  meta 
april 2017 by kit12123
Always Correct Injustice
Attack on Titan is and always has been imperialist propaganda written by a Nazi supporter. The idea of the walls and their fragility is meant to criticize Japan’s antiwar policy, and the Titans coming back after 100 years is meant to imply that if Japan doesn’t start having wars and breaking down their “walls” and conquering the East again, other countries will come to terrorize the region. What bothers me most having watched the first season of it is the line about “Living like livestock”. It asserts the notion that to live without imperialism is a form of complacency, like somehow the country isn’t living life to its fullest if it isn’t out pillaging and raping the peoples of Korea, Manchuria, Indonesia, the Pacific Islands, etc. I will say that it’s actually really poorly written, so the ideas the writer has don’t come across super strongly, but it’s still seriously dangerous stuff.

Add to that the fact that so many characters have German names and that the setting seems to have a lot of european and specifically German vegetation and architecture becomes obvious that the writer wants viewers to feel nostalgic for the Axis Powers. It’s really infuriating to me as a Jewish person because it’s supporting a political climate under which the genocide of my people could resume even when we just now have the same Jewish population worldwide as we did pre-Holocaust. It’s fucked up and now that people are talking about it coming back for a second season after so long I want to urge you all to please boycott it.
fandom:attackontitan  meta 
april 2017 by kit12123
Not about angels
Team 7 as one-liners

Kakashi: I sometimes watch birds and wonder “If I could fly who would I shit on?”

Sasuke: I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.

Naruto: Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

Sakura: Strong people don’t put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage.
fandom:naruto  meta 
april 2017 by kit12123
What Color's the Sky in Your World? — tcfkag: 4setsofcorsets: bluepaladinredlion: ...
cs lewis: are you alright with constructive criticism? i dont want to sound mean
tolkien: no go ahead i want to hear it
cs lewis: they fucking suck
tolkien: thats not constructive criticism

cs lewis: here’s my OC, it’s jesus but he’s a lion
tolkien: Furry
cs lewis: blocked
fandom:narnia  fandom:lotr  meta  ahahahaha 
march 2017 by kit12123
What do you think Mamoru and Usagi's wedding... - Luna's Whiskers
I personally love the implication in the manga that Usagi and Mamoru’s wedding is a spectacle. Ten bridesmaids and they’re all wearing their own elaborate wedding gowns and veils? Sign me the heck up.

Why is Chibi Chibi there? Who the heck cares, of course the paradox-causing childlike form of the most powerful sailor senshi of a dystopian future is invited. Usagi Tsukino will not let a little thing like a couple thousand years get in the way of her wedding guests. Her future daughter gets an invite! Her alien friends get an invite! Her talking cats will MC the wedding and people will just accept that as a perfectly normal development in Usagi Tsukino’s life. (Maybe not that last one. But Luna and Artemis and Diana will still get places of honor.)
fandom:sailormoon  meta 
march 2017 by kit12123
High Quality but Morally Dubious | prokopetz: prokopetz: Concept: a TV series...
Concept: a TV series consisting entirely of “filler episodes” from some notional story of grand adventure whose ongoing events can only be inferred from the incidental context of whatever character-driven bullshit is happening this week.

I think you could get some use out of “previously on” and “next time on” segments showing footage that never happened.

For example: “Previously on, Champions of Karamore!”
*Shot of a scepter lying on a pedestal in a tomb somewhere*
Wizard: “The Scepter of Aratoom is the key to Garroth’s Ascension”
*Four Seconds of the Heroes engaged in epic combat*
Rogue *Looking at empty pedestal*: “IT’S GONE! WE’RE TOO LATE!”
*Dark cloaked figure that the audience has never actually seen before, holding the scepter* “At last…it begins”

And then the entire episode consists of them hanging around the nearest inn, looking at maps and arguing about different ways they could have gotten there, and if any of those methods would have gotten them to the Tomb fast enough. “I told you we should have sold the horses in Roksport and taken a ship to Veremen” “We paid good money for those horses! Staying overland cut at least three days off our trip!” “It would have, HAD THE HORSES NOT BEEN EATEN BY WEREWOLVES!” “There’s no way we could have known about the Werewolves.” “THE TOWN WAS CALLED LYCANSBURG JEREMY!”
nonfic  meta 
march 2017 by kit12123
viktor-risjak: manicpixiedreamdragon: ... - I do backflips every day of my life.
but did victor frankenstein actually have a phd


IMAGINE HEARING ABOUT THE DUDEBRO LIVING NEXT TO U IN THE DORMS “yah dave dropped out cuz he built a fucking person”

victor frankenstein was a little bITCH and he had no degree at all, he was at college for like, a year and then he was like “lol these bitches ain’t got nothing on me” and he just got an apartment and stopped going to school so he could build a person. i don’t think he even formally dropped out, he just kind of disappeared and nobody even questioned it because that’s what you expect when some cocky asshole comes to class like “i know more than everyone in this school and one day i’m going to prove it by ending dEATH ITSELF” 

fucking bullshit victor, come home and eat some goddamn soup you wussass teenager 

i am never going to let the world forget that victor frankenstein spent 90% of the novel moping instead of doing literally anything else. actual quote from emo kid victor frankenstein “my only solace was silence - deep, dark, deathlike silence” like HOW EXTRA

You’d almost think Mary Shelly was taking inspiration from someone she knew….
fandom:misc  meta  ahahahaha 
march 2017 by kit12123
A Big Problem (nakedmallrat: adventures-in-asexuality: ...)
cant believe a bunch of english kids go through a fuckin cupboard and find a magical kingdom full of wonder and they go “yeah we’re the royal family now”

typical english behaviour

I think what’s more creepily imperialistic is the reaction of everyone in Narnia to the Pevensies.

Like, the Pevensies end up the royal family in large part because everyone’s like ‘it has been prophesied that you will come and rule us and everything will be great!’ and, well, in-universe I can’t really fault them on that; if I were a young teen or pre-teen in a completely foreign country, I too would probably just go along with whatever seem to make people friendly to me.

But the reaction of the Narnians, in almost ubiquitously welcoming these foreigners as obviously destined to rule them even though they know nothing of the country and the culture… now that is some creepily imperialist writing.
fandom:narnia  meta 
march 2017 by kit12123
forth, and fear no darkness

I’m picturing instead of “thanks Obama” everyone just mutters “POTTER” every time something small goes wrong. Everyone loses their shit when Harry one day spills ink of himself and mutters “POTTER”

#do I think about this?!? only every day of my LIFE!!!!#after the Buckbeak Incident the whole of hogwarts walks around dramatically yelling ‘I’M DYING!!!’ at every minor inconvenience#harry and ron in the common room gesturing to their unfinished assignments: 'I’M DYING!!! LOOK AT ME!!! IT’S KILLED ME’
fandom:harrypotter  meta  ahahahaha 
march 2017 by kit12123
a creature void of form — thoodleoo: quousque: thoodleoo: i hate when...
i hate when people in movies/tv are reading ancient languages and they translate everything really smoothly and poetically, as if when people who study ancient languages aren’t consulting three different commentaries and sobbing profusely when we read.

ok so like…. it says

“come you all into the deepest cavern, or maybe that’s fireplace, depends on usage, and having come may you give your…. treasures? Skin? Pants? I don’t know, something…. to the….. about-to-be-adored guy, that one who…. okay, he either causes earthquakes or sleeps a lot, I think this might be an idiom….”
nonfic  meta  language  education 
march 2017 by kit12123
The Finger Fucking Female Fury, eugostoderaposas: I cannot believe that...
I cannot believe that Hermione did not take advantage of that Rita skeeter’  article that said she was dating harry. I would be like  HELL YES BITCHES I FUCKED THE BOY WHO LIVED, THE BOY WHO LIVED IS MY FUCKING SEX TOY! GUESS WHAT? HE ALSO DID DRACO MALFOY, 70% OF THE GRYFFINDOR HOUSE, YOUR SISTER, AND YOU ARE THE NEXT!

she could ask their friends to spread they also fucked harry potter to different prophet’ reporters until gets so ridiculous that it lost all credibility.

“Yes, I did the potter” -Viktor Krum

“Of course, Harry is so lovely” - Fleur Delacour                                           
“I showed to him some nice stuff in the bath” - Cedric Digory (does not like to lie)

“He and Malfoy are often at each other” -Severus Snape and the entire Slytherin house

“At the same time” - Fred and George Weasley

“Harry truly is amazing, he is always gentle with us.” - Luna Lovegood with Neville Longbottom hiding behind her, nodding, mortified.

“Let’s just say that he can ride more than just a broom”- Oliver wood

“Let’s just say that he being able to catch the snitch with his mouth was not a coincidence” - Ginerva Weasley. 

“He made us gay” - Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas.
fandom:harrypotter  meta  ahahahaha  funny 
march 2017 by kit12123
there’s dozens of stories about some kid from our... | charmingly antiquated
there’s dozens of stories about some kid from our world falling into a different, magical one,  being the chosen one or the close companion of the chosen one and saving the world, and then going home where they’re delighted to see their family again and have a new appreciation of their own life. but what about someone who didn’t miss it? what if you save the world and you’re given your medal and stripped of the magic you learned and put back in a world you never missed? and you’re furious.

maybe you gave up a few years of your life. you have callouses and muscles and a few scars and maybe a missing eye or something. you definitely have some blood on your hands. you might have PTSD you can’t talk to anyone about. and suddenly you’re fifteen again, in a body that’s too soft and too short and too complete. you’re always cold because there’s no magic burning in your veins anymore, and even as you grow up the feeling of not fitting doesn’t go away because when you look in the mirror at eighteen you look all wrong: this is not what you’re supposed to look like at eighteen. the sky clouds and you rub at the phantom ache of injuries this body never received. you wake up screaming sometimes remembering the sorcerer who burnt your hand to ashes, or the final battle you almost didn’t make it through, or the moment you felt the magic in you go out.

but here’s the thing: they took you and made you into a weapon that was determined enough and powerful enough to save a whole world. they can put you back where they found you but they can’t undo everything. and there’s this, too: the place between worlds clings to you. you can’t tease fire out of the air but you can feel the pull of the doorways all the time, although none of them so far go to your world.
meta  originalfic  trope:dimension_travel 
march 2017 by kit12123
When I was younger and more abled, I was so fucking on board with the fantasy genre’s subversion of traditional femininity. We weren’t just fainting maidens locked up in towers; we could do anything men could do, be as strong or as physical or as violent. I got into western martial arts and learned to fight with a rapier, fell in love with the longsword.

But since I’ve gotten too disabled to fight anymore, I… find myself coming back to that maiden in a tower. It’s that funny thing, where subverting femininity is powerful for the people who have always been forced into it… but for the people who have always been excluded, the powerful thing can be embracing it.

As I’m disabled, as I say to groups of friends, “I can’t walk that far,” as I’m in too much pain to keep partying, I find myself worrying: I’m boring, too quiet, too stationary, irrelevant. The message sent to the disabled is: You’re out of the narrative, you’re secondary, you’re a burden.

The remarkable thing about the maiden in her tower is not her immobility; it’s common for disabled people to be abandoned, set adrift, waiting at bus stops or watching out the windows, forgotten in institutions or stranded in our houses. The remarkable thing is that she’s like a beacon, turning her tower into a lighthouse; people want to come to her, she’s important, she inspires through her appearance and words and craftwork.  In medieval romances she gives gifts, write letters, sends messengers, and summons lovers; she plays chess, commissions ballads, composes music, commands knights. She is her household’s moral centre in a castle under siege. She is a castle unto herself, and the integrity of her body matters.

That can be so revolutionary to those of us stuck in our towers who fall prey to thinking: Nobody would want to visit; nobody would want to listen; nobody would want to stay.
nonfic  meta  fandom:fairytales 
march 2017 by kit12123
#Lesbians4MagnusBurnsides — i want a setting that was once a high fantasy...
i want a setting that was once a high fantasy world but time has passed and the days of quests are over while the age of indoor plumbing has begun but the elves and stuff like still exist 

like i want fuckin.. space operas where humans weren’t all that phased by aliens because there had always been other species, and our starfleet utilizing translation potions to help communicate

or a cyberpunk world with like digital magic and the hideous, deformed descendants of dragons creeping through the deepest darkest alleyways of the cities, devouring any fool who dares go down where the neon lights don’t reach

magic mecha to defend us from the giants awoken form their slumber by fucking dwarfs who couldn’t stop mining where they knew they shouldn’t, meanwhile rival mage factions are getting close to all out war to be fought with spellcasting pistols and rifles rather than wands or staffs

come on guys what the fuck happens 1500+ years after our young hero leaves his village to become a mighty warrior i gotta know y’all
originalfic  meta 
march 2017 by kit12123
At Sky's End — animatedamerican: alternativetodiscourse: I’ve...
I’ve been thinking a lot about compassion in Judaism, and being kind. In that light, I would like everyone to know that my current favorite Jewish supernatural headcanon is that, instead of driving vampires away with crosses or stakes through the heart, we say the Mourner’s Kaddish for them. I mean, that’s just so adorable. You see this threatening undead creature, and instead of yelling murder, you feel bad for them, and you mourn for them. Imagine being a vampire at the receiving end of that, having been chased away for years and years and told you’re a monster when you come across someone who sees you and your existence and accepts that you’re in a pretty bad place and offers help in the best way they can.

It doesn’t work for zombies.

This is one of the hardest things she learns, in the business.  Saying the Mourner’s Kaddish will slow a vampire, to stare at you with wide shocked eyes (and once, memorably, to weep blood-tinged tears), unable or unwilling to lift a hand against you.  It will calm a dybbuk, enough to make it stop whatever destruction it’s begun, and almost always enough to start a conversation about why it clings so desperately to the world of the living, what it’s left undone, how it can be freed to move on.  You have died, the Kaddish says, and we mourn you as we would mourn our own dead, because someone must.

But there is no soul and no mind left in a zombie, no vestige of the self it once was, nothing left for the Kaddish to speak to.

She says it anyway, with every head-shot, with every flung grenade.

Not because she still hopes one might hear her, but because they are dead, and the dead should be mourned.
nonfic  meta  religion 
february 2017 by kit12123
Rogue One, and Collective Action - Greta Christina's Blog
I liked that the movie wasn’t another goddamn Hero’s Journey. I liked that it wasn’t about another Destined One Who Will Save Us All. It was about ordinary people stepping up, not because they’re some powerful Jedi’s long-lost son, but because someone has to. It was about the difficulties of collective action, people arguing and splintering and deciding for themselves who to follow — because the alternative is the exact rigid authoritarianism they’re fighting against. It was about a team who all have their crucial part to play, who figure out on the fly how to work together.

And I loved the movie’s attitude toward fighting in hard times against difficult odds. There’s an important idea that kept cropping up: As long as there’s still a chance, you keep fighting. Even if that chance is slim, you keep fighting. If you give up while there’s still a chance, you’re doing your oppressors’ work for them.
fandom:starwars  meta 
january 2017 by kit12123
Aviens Rex - sumeria - birdsrightsactivist (Twitter) [Archive of Our Own]
In which Brad and Steve just want to have a picnic and a Tyrannosaurus is only another kind of bird.

""Shoo" he say. SHOO. BIRD DOE NOT SHOO our feet are made for freedoms"
fandom:birdsrightsactivist  ahahahaha  meta 
december 2016 by kit12123
Get You a Queen Who Can Do Both - ItsClydeBitches - Jupiter Ascending (2015) [Archive of Our Own]
Jupiter Jones, Queen of the Universe and Everything Ever, MIGHT be running a shitty tumblr blog in her free time...

... but that's none of my business.
fandom:jupiterascending  meta  ahahahaha 
december 2016 by kit12123
Exit, Pursued By A Dalek
so who else is in the mood to run off to a series of small, interconnected caves with me, and be cave neighbors for the next ten years,

cons: we wont know about any new memes

pros: we make our own cave neighbor memes about the bugs we see doin weird shit and that one cave that leaks when it rains except we can’t find the hole it’s leaking through

cave memes i’m submitting for your consideration:

- *aiming hunting implements at anything that isn’t a bird* this bird is gonna be delicious
- personifying rocks, constnatly,
- “my digging skills are delightful, which you would know, if you ever bothered to know me the way you know your beetles”
- throw the stone, Maurice.
- one of our cave neighbors is a geologist. they know the names of all the kinds of rocks. the rest of us mispronounce them constantly on purpose and correct each other’s pronunciation with even more wrong ones.
- making up elaborate insults towards bugs, and saying them, to the bugs
- the implications of Ji-won’s moss beds (the joke is nobody can ever agree on the implications)
- mushrooms in places they dont belong
- yelling “hhchruckkkk!” in a high-pitched voice, several times in a row, whenever
- “the best tasting dirt comes from Jamal’s cave”
- worm disco
nonfic  ahahahaha  meta 
december 2016 by kit12123
we’ve all heard of the fake dating trope… but have... | fait l'un pour l'autre
we’ve all heard of the fake dating trope… but have u considered.. fake exes trope…..

‘my new romance-obsessed friend asked me who my last date was with and i was too embarrassed to say i’ve never been on a date so i blurted your name and it turns out they know you’ au

‘i didn’t want to tell my friend who my real date last night was so i just pointed at a random stranger (you) but now they’re storming over to interrogate you and you’re playing along??? okay’ au

‘a mutual friend tried to introduce us, but we already knew each other from LARPing but we’re both too embarrassed to admit that so i jokingly said we used to date and oh god now our friend wont stop interrogating us about it’ au

‘im egging your house for a dare but your parent is a cop and they’re yelling at me so i told them that you were my ex and you wronged me and now you’re coming outside and please go along with this i don’t want to go to jail’ au

‘my current partner is a huge asshole and i need a reason to break up with them so will you pretend to be my possessive and violent ex’ au

‘we’re contestants on a reality show and we kind of hate each other so the producers told us to pretend to be warring exes for the ratings so now we keep inventing crazier and crazier things the other did while we were dating’ au
meta  ahahahaha 
december 2016 by kit12123
An incomplete list of thoughts on the Gilmore...
An incomplete list of thoughts on the Gilmore Girls revival
fandom:gilmoregirls  meta 
november 2016 by kit12123
a month went by quickly. it didn't want to hang around. : This is for the 5+ Headcanons game. Where someone...
1) Harry goes into Hufflepuff.

Look, the hat said Harry could do well in Slytherin, but let’s be real, Harry would die in Slytherin unless Ron came with him or something and they spent all their time camping out in Gryffindor. While I’m 100% positive Voldemort had plenty of followers from all Hogwarts houses, book canon is pretty clear that Slytherin is kind of like a racist country club – the hat specifically states that Slytherin is for those whose ancestry is purest.

Which isn’t Harry, as clever and determined as he is.

So Harry goes into Hufflepuff because Hufflepuff is great (fight me). While he’s no real Ravenclaw and could make a pretty great Gryffindor (and would die in Slytherin), Harry knows the value of hard work like he knows the calluses on his hands. Harry is determined and stubborn and dedicated, and he’s one of the most loyal people you will ever meet.
fandom:harrypotter  meta 
november 2016 by kit12123
Duc's nest — fialleril: fizzygingr: Didn’t think I’d find...
TPM Anakin had a firm moral compass with only a slight tendency toward us-vs.-them (or rather the tendency was mitigated by Anakin viewing people as an Us until proven otherwise). And one of the core tenet was “people should help each other” 

And then he gets to the Jedi, whose life mission is supposed to be helping people and they won’t help the slaves. 

Situations like that are complicated, they probably say. And the galaxy is too big and the Jedi too few for them to ever be able to help everyone who needs it.He needs to accept that. Moreover, the Jedi go were the Force (or more accurately the Senate) tells them to go, to go on a mission because of personal feelings is bad, no matter how righteous the cause may seem.

Worse than that, when push comes to shove and they need access to Outer Rim trade routes, they ally themselves with the Hutts. 

Now they’re not happy about it, but it’s a war, sacrifices need to be made, they probably say. The need of the many outweighs the need of the few. 

and so on and so forth, that situation repeated over and over, for 13 years. One day, Anakin will understand. He’s young now, and impatient, impulsive and too emotional, but when he can be objective he will understand the Council.

Well, Darth Vader understands.
fandom:starwars  meta 
november 2016 by kit12123
tattooedsiren: gvorgeblagden: batcii: how...
But how about if things went differently, if Harry had thought to use the mirror to call Sirius, and Sirius polyjuiced himself into Harry and the Order set a trap for Voldemort at the Ministry, and they caught all the Death Eaters and somebody “killed” Voldemort again, and Harry graduated from Hogwarts after a normal sixth and seventh year with Dumbledore still Headmaster and Snape still teaching Potions, and maybe he did a year just playing professional Quidditch but it’s sorta less than satisfying, y’know? And when yet another Defense professor winds up fired or dead, Harry thinks back to those fun times in the Room of Requirement, and goes to apply for the job.

And–because that Horcrux, that piece of Voldemort’s soul, is still in Harry, the curse that Voldemort put on the DADA position recognizes Harry as Voldemort, and doesn’t go off.

So Harry keeps the job.
fandom:harrypotter  meta 
november 2016 by kit12123
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