"Enter your details here to apply for tickets to the official London 2012 Olympic Protests. Non-ticket holders will not be allowed to voice dissent against the Olympics in London, so be sure to apply."

"Parahawking is a fusion between Falconry and Paragliding. [Our] birds of prey are trained to fly with Paragliders and to guide them to the thermals."

"Runners will navigate a series of 12 obstacles throughout a 5K course in an attempt to reach the finish line — all while avoiding zombies."

"Toss your iPod up! Toss your iPod up as high as you can. How high you throw shows how bold you are." [...] "!!This app is REJECTED!!"

"StatsMonkey takes the statistics from a baseball game and produces a computer-generated news story about that game." [...] "We're really aiming this at a genuinely local audience. We're trying to write the stories no one else is writing."

"[Sports psychologists] showed video clips of [taekwondo] bouts to 42 experienced referees. They then played the same clips again, digitally manipulated so that the clothing colours were swapped round. [In close matches] red competitors awarded an average of 13 per cent more points than when they were dressed in blue." Maybe I should start picking red more often in board games.

"There was a street of intact and handsome old industrial buildings, a billboard advertising the new Lexus, and roads and pavements eerily populated only by traffic cones, like a scene from a post-apocalyptic film."

A few good routines, but there are even more unnecessary musical numbers than Night at the Opera, and most of the longer comedy routines are incoherently chaotic. Some quality fist-shaking and spluttering outrage.

"[NCAA 08 Football] downloads a forecast every hour while the player is online, detailing precipitation, temperature and wind conditions." [...] "A shift from moderate to high winds will make a fifty-yard field goal that much tougher."

"[NCAA 08 Football] downloads a forecast every hour while the player is online, detailing precipitation, temperature and wind conditions." [...] "A shift from moderate to high winds will make a fifty-yard field goal that much tougher."

"[Hotel cleaners] who had been reminded how much exercise they engage in at work, showed health improvements in terms of weight, body mass index, body-fat, waist-to-hip ratio and blood pressure. The control cleaners showed no such improvements."

"Could consumerism evolve into fascism? There is nothing to stop some strange consumer trend becoming a new ideology. Church and monarchy are dying on their knees, and politics is just another public utility, along with sewerage and the gas supply."

Cruel-sounding ant football. "The organizers of the game used this natural ability to make the ants 'ant-agonize' each other, by feeding the Japanese team with Kagoshima pork and the Brazilian team with spare ribs in order to alter the ants' pheromones."

"A small town in Germany claims to have come up with the 'smell' of the World Cup by gathering together the 'scents' of the football teams to compete in next month's tournament. [...] England got the After Eight, a cult symbol of Englishness for Germans."

"Golfers get a different three-dimensional view of the green after [laser eye surgery]. It's different. Lasik actually produces, instead of a spherical cornea, an aspherical cornea. It may be better than normal vision."

"Kick Ass Kung-Fu is an immersive game installation that transforms computer gaming into a visual, physical performance like dance or sports." Looking a lot like a giant EyeToy game.

"He encountered difficulty [and] secretly abandoned the race while reporting false positions, in an attempt to win without actually circling the world. Evidence found after his disappearance indicates that this attempt ended in insanity and suicide."

Great Canadian road safety campaign, with benign-but-no-fun-any-more zombies being rubbish at tennis, and things. Unfortunate Capitol-Hill-shooting resonances, though.

"To gain the upper hand enthusiasts have spurned cotton strings for glass-coated versions, often strengthened with chemicals. The upgraded strings can be as sharp as a knife and have deadly consequences."

"The U.S. snowboarding team's pinstriped uniforms are already wired for the machines, with a nifty iPod-size pocket, speakers in the hood and a control panel on the left sleeve that allows the athletes to select songs."

"Stuff is a key concept in game design. Pong plus Stuff makes Arkanoid. Risk plus Stuff makes Cosmic Encounter. Rock-Scissors-Paper plus Stuff makes Magic: the Gathering. Capture-the-Flag plus Stuff makes... Capture-the-Flag With Stuff."

Interview with a chessboxer. "After a boxing round your heart will be beating, your adrenaline goes up and it's very difficult to concentrate on a chessboard. The first chess-boxing test that we ever did, I just gave away my queen immediately."

Appalling Nomic-style loophole-surfing. "While the Act forbids hunting of hares, it allows hunting of hares which have been shot. [...] There is no guidance on either how shot the hare has to be or what it has been shot with."

"The new bill will make it illegal to combine words like 'games', 'medals', 'gold', '2012', 'sponsor' or 'summer' in any form of advertising." [...] "You won't even be able to say 'come to London in 2012' because it will infringe the act."

"It was my wish to have subjoined [...] the method of playing the game, but the author is so exceedingly obscure in his phraseology, and negligent in his explanations, that I found it impossible to follow him with the least degree of satisfaction."

Teams with red strips appear to have a slight statistical edge. "Human competitors might experience a testosterone surge while wearing the colour, or feel submissive when facing a scarlet opponent."

Stereotype threat: "When experimenters told white golfers that the quality of their game would reflect 'natural athletic ability' instead of their strategic intellectual prowess, their performance was much worse than that of black players."

"Sources said the 'bullfighters' have a small red balloon attached to their body in place of the traditional cape. The mechanical matador must dodge the 'bull', which is armed with head-mounted cameras capable of detecting the red colour."

"In studying these diagrams imagine that two boys are going to play a game. To determine who shall play first each boy lags with his shooter."

Overenthusiastic boules/Nomic crossover. "When a team scores three times in a row (three consecutive turns) that team is allowed to make up a new rule."

"Xtreme Ants features highly detailed Xtreme Sports Park with trick towers, vertical ramps, gravity loops, climbing wall, bungee ravine, street luge speedway, and BMX biking arena."

Viscous drag gets cancelled out by increased pushing force. "The best swimmer should have the body of a snake and the arms of a gorilla." Olympic event, please.

An urban climber scales the Montparnasse Tower in forty-five minutes, sans rope.

"The contest is decided by: checkmate (chess round), exceeding the time limit (chess round), retirement of an opponent (chess or boxing round), KO (boxing round), or referee decision (boxing round)."