jm + lol   10

The $280M Ethereum bug

The newly deployed contract, 0x863df6bfa4469f3ead0be8f9f2aae51c91a907b4, contains a vulnerability where its owner was uninitialized. Although, the contract is a library it was possible for devops199 to turn it into a regular multi-sig wallet since for Ethereum there is no real distinction between accounts, libraries, and contracts.
The event occurred in two transactions, a first one to take over the library and a second one to kill the library — which was used by all multi-sig wallets created after the 20th of July.

Since by design smart-contracts themselves can’t be patched easily, this make dependancies on third party libraries very lethal if a mistake happens. The fact that libraries are global is also arguable, this would be shocking if it was how our daily use Operating Systems would work.
security  bitcoin  ethereum  lol  fail  smart-contracts 
9 days ago by jm
"Solving Imaginary Scaling Issues At Scale — Getting the wrong idea from that conference talk you attended"
Amazing virtuoso performance:

Chapter 1: Databases with cool-sounding names.
Chapter 2: using BitTorrent for everything.
Chapter 3: forget Torrents. Use the blockchain for everything.
Chapter 4: sharding the database before adding any indexes.
Chapter 5: upgrading to faster processors without checking if you're limited by disk I/O.
Chapter 6: rewriting APIs in C for speed without compressing data on the wire.
Chapter 7: putting large blobs of binary data into SQL databases for fun and profit.
Chapter 8: using protobufs to poll 300 times per second.
Chapter 9: diagnose scaling issues by grepping 10 lines of code and guessing.
Chapter 10: putting Varnish in front of everything just in case.
Chapter 11: buying boxes with gigantic amounts of RAM.
Chapter 12: realizing your HAProxy box is still a micro instance.
Chapter 13: rewriting 3 of 10 features in Go and declaring victory.
Chapter 14: split everything into 35 microservices all maintained by 1 person.
Chapter 15: 300% performance boosts by deleting data validity checks.
Chapter 16: minifying the JS of your O(n^3) to-do list.
Chapter 17: Fuck It, Let's Try Erlang.
Chapter 18: Blaming Everything On The Last Person To Quit.
Chapter 19: A Bloom Filter Will Definitely Fix This.
Chapter 20: Move all client-side processing to the server and/or vice-versa.
Chapter 21: Putting A Node.js Proxy In Front Of Our COBOL Backend Will Definitely Improve Matters.
Chapter 22: A Type-Checked Transpilation Step Will Surely Speed Things Up.
Chapter 23: Writing A New Language Almost The Same As Your Old Language But Faster (guest chapter by Facebook).
Chapter 24: Replacing an SQL DB with a NoSQL DB then implementing SQL in your ORM.
Chapter 25: Migrating From Bare Metal To The Cloud Or Vice-Versa, Whichever You're Not Currently Doing.
Chapter 26: Putting everything behind a CDN except the slow, complicated parts.
Chapter 27: Applying distributed map-reduce to less than 1 gigabyte of data.
Chapter 28: Running exactly the same software, but in Docker.
Chapter 29: Machine learning: how it will magically fix your crappy code.
Chapter 30: Blaming your package manager for slow run-time performance.
Chapter 31: Moving processing from the CPU to the GPU without changing the algorithm.
Chapter 32: Switching To Heroku Or Away From Heroku Or A Hybrid Heroku-AWS model, whichever sounds the most fun.
Chapter 33: Loading all your dependencies from somebody else's github repo.
Chapter 34: optimizing your PNGs while hosting 300MB video ads.
Chapter 35: hosting your database in memory and your images on S3.
scalability  funny  lol  twitter  oreilly 
november 2016 by jm
Sean O'Dowd on Twitter: "damn someone at apple needs a hug"
stack trace leads with a symbol called "_thereIsNoSadnessLikeTheDeathOfOptimism"
stack-traces  apple  funny  lol  optimism  naming 
october 2016 by jm
Exit Scam Survival Guide : Buttcoin
Bitcoin lols:
Honesty is most important. Be sure to carefully explain that (excluding the mountain of evidence to the contrary) there was no way to foresee the [Bitcoin] exchange hacking. Practice phrases like, "this operation was the most trustworthy exchange running out of a vacant building in Singapore" and "no we can't just call the exchange, they don't have a phone number". If your significant other criticizes your decision to buy cryptocurrencies, be sure to fall back on technical merits of cryptocurrencies. Mention, "it's backed by math" and "[insert cryptocurrency here] didn't fail, people failed".
bitcoin  buttcoin  lol  funny  cryptocurrency  security  exchanges 
august 2016 by jm
The Apollo 11 AGC source code was uploaded to Github, and someone opened an issue
For the famous Apollo 13 near-fatal failure scenario:
'A customer has had a fairly serious problem with stirring the cryogenic tanks with a circuit fault present. To reproduce:

Build CSM;
Perform mission up to translunar coast;
During translunar coast, attempt to stir cryo tanks

If a wiring fault exists, the issue may be replicated. Be aware that this may be hazardous to the tester attempting it.'

Sample response: 'Does it happens only with translunar coast (sol-3-a), or any moon coasting? It may be a problem with the moon. Just trying to narrow down the issue.'
lol  funny  apollo  apollo-11  apollo-13  agc  history  space  github 
july 2016 by jm
President's message gets lost in (automated) translation
In a series of bizarre translations, YouTube’s automated translation service took artistic licence with the [President's] words of warmth.

When the head of state sent St Patrick’s Day greetings to viewers, the video sharing site said US comedian Tina Fey was being “particular with me head”. As President Higgins spoke of his admiration for Irish emigrants starting new communities abroad, YouTube said the President referenced blackjack and how he “just couldn’t put the new iPhone” down. And, in perhaps the most unusual moment, as he talked of people whose hearts have sympathy, the President “explained” he was once on a show “that will bar a gift card”.


(via Daragh O'Brien)
lol  president  ireland  michael-d-higgins  automation  translation  machine-learning  via:daraghobrien  funny  blackjack  iphone  tina-fey  st-patrick  fail 
march 2015 by jm
insane ESB health and safety policy
Where it is not possible to avoid reversing, it is ESB policy that staff driving on behalf of the company or anybody on company premises should reverse into car spaces/bays, allowing them to drive out subsequently.


BUT WHYYYYYYYYYY
esb  health-n-safety  policies  crazy  funny  driving  reversing  lol  safety 
april 2014 by jm
Applegate's Law
'Over time, the probability of someone drawing a cock with your [user-generated content] app approaches one.'
cocks  b3ta  lol  time-to-penis  user-generated-content  content  ugc  via:rob-manuel  qwghlm  funny  applegates-law  web 
july 2013 by jm
Is it any wonder the country is the way it is?
Auto-generated complaints about the dreadful state of Ireland, for the pessimistic begrudger on the go. 'We might as well face it - the cast of Fade Street, without any legal grounds, never gave a shit about people in the midlands.'
lol  funny  begrudgery  ireland  satire  via:broadsheet  was-is-for-this  1916 
march 2012 by jm
EMAIL AND BACON
This car has everything (via Box Of Meat)
via:boxofmeat  email  bacon  car  funny  lol  demotivational  posters  from delicious
october 2010 by jm

Copy this bookmark:



description:


tags: