jm + funny   142

Belkin Router Apocalypse
Many Belkin routers attempt to determine if they're connected to the internet by pinging 'heartbeat.belkin.com', in a classic amateur fail move. Good reason not to run Belkin firmware if that's the level of code quality to expect
belkin  fail  ping  icmp  funny  internet  dailywtf  broken 
16 days ago by jm
The Womansplainer
Brilliant. Nice use of an anime avatar, to boot....

'Consulting for men who have better things to do than educate themselves about feminism. Got a question for a feminist? I would be happy to educate you! Below are my rates.'
feminism  gamergate  funny  mansplaining  misandry  misogyny  twitter  lmgtfy 
17 days ago by jm
on using JSON as a config file format
Ben Hughes on twitter:

"JSON is fine for config files, if you don't want to comment your config file. Which is a way of saying, it isn't fine for config files."
ben-hughes  funny  json  file-formats  config-files  configuration  software  coding 
5 weeks ago by jm
Texas Judge References 'The Big Lebowski'
"The First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution is similarly suspicious of prior restraints," wrote Justice Lehrmann in the decision highlighting a cornerstone that has "been reaffirmed time and again by the Supreme Court, this Court, Texas courts of appeals, legal treatises, and even popular culture." That last reference to popular culture contained an interesting footnote citing none other than Walter Sobchak, a character in ['The Big Lebowski'].
lebowski  movies  coen-brothers  prior-restraint  law  supreme-court  walter-sobchak  funny 
5 weeks ago by jm
Frogsort
Frogsort as an exam question (via qwghlm)
via:qwghlm  frogsort  sorting  big-o  algorithms  funny  comics  smbc 
9 weeks ago by jm
Comment #28 : Bug #255161 : Bugs : “cupsys” package : Ubuntu
file(1) bug causes the input Postscript file to be misidentified as an Erlang JAM file if it contains the string 'Tue' starting at byte 4.
via:hackernews  file  unix  cups  printing  funny  bugs  fail  ubuntu  linux 
10 weeks ago by jm
Worf/Joy Division tee shirt
brilliant. a great threadless sub from Threadless user NickOG back in 2012
worf  star-trek  joy-division  tee-shirts  threadless  funny 
11 weeks ago by jm
South Downs litter picker has truck named after him - West Sussex County Times
This is amazing. In http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2014/06/30/stepping-out-3 , David Sedaris had written: 'in recognition of all the rubbish I’ve collected since getting my Fitbit, my local council is naming a garbage truck after me'; naturally, I assumed he was joking, but it looks like he wasn't:
Horsham District Council has paid thanks to a volunteer who devotes a great deal of time and energy to walking many miles clearing litter from near where he lives as well as surrounding areas.

David Sedaris litter picks in areas including Parham, Coldwaltham, Storrington and beyond. In recognition for all his fantastic work and dedication and as a token of Horsham District Council’s appreciation, the council has named one of their waste vehicles after him. The vehicle, bedecked with its bespoke ‘Pig Pen Sedaris’ sign was officially unveiled by the Lord-Lieutenant of West Sussex Mrs Susan Pyper at an outdoor ceremony on July 23.


Best of all, the article utterly fails to mention who he is. Amazing.

(via John Braine)
via:john-braine  funny  david-sedaris  litter  uk  horsham  rubbish  garbage  cleaning  volunteering  walking 
12 weeks ago by jm
Paleo is the Scientology of Diet
Being paleo is like paying a stupidity tax. Again, it’s not you who is stupid, but the diet sure is, because it lets you drink paleo coffee while putting paleo butter and paleo syrup on your paleo waffles before you drive your paleo minivan to the paleo office to sit in your paleo cube and do spreadsheets on your paleo computer. See, the paleo diet made up a bunch of silly rules on how we allegedly ate, and then goes and twists them all to hell in the name of selling you a crappy, overpriced product. That is scientology-level stupid.
scientology  paleo  rants  funny  food  diet  health  bulletproof-coffee  stupid 
june 2014 by jm
Unchi-kun Candy - Japanese Lucky Poop Candy
What doesn't look like Christmas more than a smiling piece of poop, called unchi in Japanese? Because the shape of unchi looks similar to that of mochi used for shrine offerings, and because the sound "unchi" like the Japanese word for luck, this treat is actually a lucky gift -- at least that is how you can explain yourself when you give it as a gift. Each Unchi-kun comes packed with poop candy, taken out from the bottom. Once finished eating, you can open the slot in the back with a box-cutter and turn it into a bank.


Want one!
unchi-kun  unchi  pile-of-poo  emoji  unicode  cute  funny  japan  j-list  sweets  food  gross  candy 
may 2014 by jm
Scarfolk Council
Scarfolk is a town in North West England that did not progress beyond 1979. Instead, the entire decade of the 1970s loops ad infinitum. Here in Scarfolk, pagan rituals blend seamlessly with science; hauntology is a compulsory subject at school, and everyone must be in bed by 8pm because they are perpetually running a slight fever. "Visit Scarfolk today. Our number one priority is keeping rabies at bay." For more information please reread.
scarfolk  1970s  england  history  funny  humour  public-information  pagan  morbid 
april 2014 by jm
Ryanair drops out of top Google flight search results after website overhaul | Business | theguardian.com
They've done the classic website-redesign screwup -- omitted redirects from the old URLs.
Sam Silverwood-Cope, director of Intelligent Positioning, said: "They've ignored the legacy of the old Ryanair.com. It's quite startling. They are doing it just before their busiest time of the year." A change in [URLs] without proper redirects means many results found by Google now simply return error pages, he added. "Unless redirects get put in pretty soon, the position is going to get worse and worse."
ryanair  inept  fail  funny  via:christinebohan  web  google  search  redirects 
april 2014 by jm
insane ESB health and safety policy
Where it is not possible to avoid reversing, it is ESB policy that staff driving on behalf of the company or anybody on company premises should reverse into car spaces/bays, allowing them to drive out subsequently.


BUT WHYYYYYYYYYY
esb  health-n-safety  policies  crazy  funny  driving  reversing  lol  safety 
april 2014 by jm
The Wadsworth Constant
For EVERY youtube video, I always open the video and then immediately punch the slider bar to about 30 percent. For example, in this video, it should have just started at :40. Everything before :40 was a waste. This holds true for nearly every video in the universe.


Via Joe Drumgoole -- it's true!
via:joedrumgoole  videos  youtube  skip  wadsworth-constant  fast-forward  funny 
april 2014 by jm
The Day Today - Pool Supervisor - YouTube
"in 1979, no-one died. in 1980, some one died. in 1981, no-one died. in 1982, no-one died. ... I could go on"
the-day-today  no-one-died  safety  pool  supervisor  tricky-word-puzzles  funny  humour  classic  video 
march 2014 by jm
David Robert Grimes on the flouride kerfuffle
Hilariously, "The Girl Against Flouride" and other antiflouridation campaigners now allege he's a undercover agent of Alcoa and/or Glaxo Smith Kline, rather than dealing with any awkwardly hostile realities
flouride  flouridation  david-robert-grimes  conspiracy  funny  science  ireland  alcoa  glaxo-smith-kline 
march 2014 by jm
It’s So Easy
Attempting to cash out of Bitcoins turns out to be absurdly difficult:
Trying to sell the coins in person, and basically saying he ether wants Cash, or a Cashiers check (since it can be handed over right then and there), has apparently been a hilarious clusterfuck. Today he met some guy infront of his bank, and apparently as soon as he mentioned that he needs to get the cash checked to make sure it is not counterfeit, the guy freaked out and basically walked away. Stuff like this has been happening all week, and he apparently so far has only sold a single coin of several hundred.
bitcoin  fail  funny  mtgox  fraud  cash  fiat-currency  via:rsynnott  buttcoin 
march 2014 by jm
Rule 34, meet Kafka
Charlie Stross on GCHQ's 1984-esque webcam spying
webcams  porn  charlie-stross  funny  1984  dystopian  masturbation  surveillance  spying 
february 2014 by jm
BiteLabs
'EAT CELEBRITY MEAT! BiteLabs grows meat from celebrity tissue samples and uses it to make artisanal salami.'

Genius. (via John Looney)
via:john-looney  meat  startups  food  funny  salami  tissue-samples  celebrity  jennifer-lawrence 
february 2014 by jm
"Hackers" unsubscribed a former Mayor from concerned citizen's emails
"The dog ate my homework, er, I mean, hackers hacked my account."
Former Mayor of Kildare, Cllr. Michael Nolan, has denied a claim he asked a local campaigner to stop e-mailing him. Cllr. Michael Nolan from Newbridge said his site was hacked and wrong e-mails were sent out to a number of people, including Leixlip based campaigner, John Weigel.

Mr. Weigel has been campaigning, along with others, about the danger of electromagnetic radiation to humans and the proximity of communications masts to homes and, in particular schools. He regularly updates local politicians on news items relating to the issue.

Recently, he said that he had received an e-mail from Cllr. Nolan asking to be removed from Mr. Weigel’s e-mail list.

The Leader asked Cllr. Nolan why he had done this. But the Fine Gael councillors said that “his e-mail account was hacked and on one particular day a number of mails a were sent from my account pertaining to be from me.”
dog-ate-my-homework  hackers  funny  kildare  newbridge  fine-gael  michael-nolan  email  politics  ireland  excuses 
february 2014 by jm
"A data scientist is a ..."
"A data scientist is a statistician who lives in San Francisco" - slide from Monkigras this year. lols
data-scientist  statistics  statistician  funny  jokes  san-francisco  tech  monkigras 
february 2014 by jm
Irish Company Locates Office in Ireland
Hot on the heels of Dropbox, AirBnB, Twitter, Facebook and many others, Irish online ticket sales company Tito are amongst the latest in a long series of companies choosing to locate their offices in Ireland. “It just seemed to make sense,” said founder Paul Campbell, talking about the decision making process that led him to set up shop in the capital, Dublin. “Dublin is great. There’s something really familiar about it that I can’t quite put my finger on.”


Har har!
ireland  jokes  funny  tito  hq  tech-companies  dublin  via:oisin 
january 2014 by jm
Irish quango allegedly buys fake twitter followers
The Consumers Association of Ireland had a sudden jump from 300 to 3000 Twitter followers, mostly from Latin and South America -- with more followers in Brazil than Ireland. They are now blaming "hacking": http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/consumers-body-denies-buying-3000-twitter-fans-29931196.html
consumers  quangos  ireland  politics  twitter  funny  fake-followers  latin-america  south-america  brazil  social-media  tech 
january 2014 by jm
Irish politician calls for ban on "open source browsers"
'Fine Gael TD for Limerick, Patrick O'Donovan has called for tougher controls on the use of open source internet browsers and payment systems which allow users to remain anonymous in the illegal trade of drugs, weapons and pornography.'

Amazing. Yes, this is real.
open-source  clueless  omgwtfbbq  fine-gael  ireland  fail  funny  tor  inept 
january 2014 by jm
Little-known Apollo 10 incident
'Apollo 10 had a little known incident in flight as evidenced by this transcript.' http://pic.twitter.com/NCZy7OdxDU
poo  turds  space  spaceflight  funny  history  apollo-10  apollo  accidents 
january 2014 by jm
Fuck Yeah Internet Fridge
'why the fuck does my fridge need Twitter?'
twitter  funny  tech  home  fridges  internet  web  appliances  consume 
january 2014 by jm
Spy agencies in covert push to infiltrate virtual world of online gaming
[MMOGs], the [NSA] analyst wrote, "are an opportunity!". According to the briefing notes, so many different US intelligence agents were conducting operations inside games that a "deconfliction" group was required to ensure they weren't spying on, or interfering with, each other.
spies  spying  games  mmog  online  surveillance  absurd  east-germany  funny  warcraft 
december 2013 by jm
Find a separating hyperplane with this One Weird Kernel Trick
Terrible internet ad-spam recast as machine-learning spam
'37-year-old patriot discovers "weird" trick to end slavery to the Bayesian monopoly. Discover the underground trick she used to slash her empirical risk by 75% in less than 30 days... before they shut her down. Click here to watch the shocking video! Get the Shocking Free Report!'
funny  via:hmason  machine-learning  spam  wtf  svms  bayesian 
november 2013 by jm
Fax vs Twilio
A fax machine called my #twilio voice number, this is how @twilio transcribed it.... http://pic.twitter.com/RYh19Pg2pG


This is amazing. Machine talking to machine, with hilarious results
twilio  transcription  machine  audio  fax  hey-hey-hey  you-know-its-hey  funny 
november 2013 by jm
Tables Turned On Former NSA Boss Michael Hayden, As 'Off-The-Record' Call Is Live Tweeted By Train Passenger
Ho ho.
Michael Hayden, former NSA and CIA boss, who famously argued that the only people complaining about NSA surveillance were internet shut-ins who couldn't get laid, apparently never learned that when you're in a public place, someone might overhear your phone calls. Entrepreneur and former MoveOn.org director Tom Matzzie just so happened to be on the Acela express train from DC to NY when he (1) spotted Hayden sitting behind him and (2) started overhearing a series of "off the record" phone calls with press about the story of the week: the revelations of the NSA spying on foreign leaders. Matzzie did what any self-respecting American would do: live-tweet the calls.
nsa  michael-hayden  twitter  tom-matzzie  funny  irony  trains  interviewing  public  surveillance 
october 2013 by jm
How to Read a Scientific Paper (About That Researcher With a Nematode in His Mouth) - Wired Science
Let’s rewind to September 2012. It was about then- according to this recently published report (paywall) in The American Journal of Tropical Medicine – that an “otherwise healthy, 36-year-old man” felt a rough patch in his mouth, a scaly little area his right cheek. It didn’t hurt. But then it didn’t stay there either. He started testing for it with his tongue. It traveled. It moved to the back of his mouth, then forward, coiled backwards again. In the language of science: “These rough patches would appear and disappear on a daily basis, giving the patient the indirect sense that there was an organism moving within the oral cavity.”
nematodes  parasites  biology  medicine  paper  gross  funny  wired  mouth 
october 2013 by jm
Inside the mind of NSA chief Gen Keith Alexander | Glenn Greenwald
featuring some mental pics of the "Information Dominance Center", the Star Trek bridge which NSA chief Keith Alexander built with taxpayer money
big-brother  nsa  politics  keith-alexander  star-trek  funny  bizarre 
september 2013 by jm
WTF Visualizations
'Visualizations that make no sense.'

Some of these are unintentional comedy gold -- pie charts feature heavily, of course. (via Des Traynor)
via:destraynor  infographics  wtf  visualization  dataviz  data  fail  funny  graphics  pie-charts 
september 2013 by jm
The Edge Minecraft cover
This is brilliant. Half of the office now wants prints.

Massive congratulations to Edge magazine. The stellar publication has been around for 20 years! To celebrate, their 258th issue comes in 20 different flavours, and one of those flavours includes the earthly overtones of both Minecraft and Dungeons & Dragons. Junkboy drew it, and I [Owen] worded it a few weeks ago.
covers  images  edge  minecraft  gaming  funny  dungeons-and-dragons  retro  dnd 
august 2013 by jm
BBC News - How one man turns annoying cold calls into cash
This is hilarious. Quid pro quo!
Once he had set up the 0871 line, every time a bank, gas or electricity supplier asked him for his details online, he submitted it as his contact number. He added he was "very honest" and the companies did ask why he had a premium number. He told the programme he replied: "Because I'm getting annoyed with PPI phone calls when I'm trying to watch Coronation Street so I'd rather make 10p a minute." He said almost all of the companies he dealt with were happy to use it and if they refused he asked them to email.
spam  cold-calls  phone  ads  uk  funny  0871  premium-rate  ppi 
august 2013 by jm
Let Me Explain Why Miley Cyrus’ VMA Performance Was Our Top Story This Morning | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
Absolute genius from The Onion.
Those of us watching on Google Analytics saw the number of homepage visits skyrocket the second we put up that salacious image of Miley Cyrus dancing half nude on the VMA stage. But here’s where it gets great: We don’t just do a top story on the VMA performance and call it a day. No, no. We also throw in a slideshow called “Evolution of Miley,” which, for those of you who don’t know, is just a way for you to mindlessly click through 13 more photos of Miley Cyrus. And if we get 500,000 of you to do that, well, 500,000 multiplied by 13 means we can get 6.5 million page views on that slideshow alone. Throw in another slideshow titled “6 ‘don’t miss’ VMA moments,” and it’s starting to look like a pretty goddamned good Monday, numbers-wise. Also, there are two videos -- one of the event and then some bullshit two-minute clip featuring our “entertainment experts” talking about the performance. Side note: Advertisers, along with you idiots, love videos. Another side note: The Miley Cyrus story was in the same top spot we used for our 9/11 coverage.
humor  journalism  cnn  miley-cyrus  vma  news  funny  advertising  ads 
august 2013 by jm
You can't "waste your vote"!
A fantastic infographic explaining Australia's Preferential Voting system, featuring Dennis the Election Koala and Ken the Voting Dingo
infographics  funny  pr  voting  australia  images  via:fp 
august 2013 by jm
Beating the CAP Theorem Checklist
'Your ( ) tweet ( ) blog post ( ) marketing material ( ) online comment
advocates a way to beat the CAP theorem. Your idea will not work. Here is why
it won't work:'

lovely stuff, via Bill De hOra
via:dehora  funny  cap  cs  distributed-systems  distcomp  networking  partitions  state  checklists 
august 2013 by jm
Hamlet is Banned in the British Library
Pretty hilarious account of the usual, run-of-the-mill overblocking in the British Library from last weekend:
I asked [the information desk] if they saw the problem, perhaps just the symbolism, of Hamlet being banned in the British Library. They shrugged. The IT department said there was nothing to be done, as it was only the British Library's wifi service that was blocking Hamlet, and the British Library's wifi service, they seemed sure, had nothing to do with the British Library. They were merely ships that passed in the night. Children crying to each other from either bank of an uncrossable river.
censorship  filters  overblocking  hamlet  shakespeare  literature  funny  sad  british-library  blocking 
august 2013 by jm
The Irish State wishes to uninvent computers with new FOI Bill
Mark Coughlan noticed this:
The FOI body shall take reasonable steps to search for and extract the records to which the request relates, having due regard to the steps that would be considered reasonable if the records were held in paper format.


In other words, pretend that computerised database technology, extant since the 1960s, does not exist. Genius (via Simon McGarr)
funny  irish  ireland  foi  open-data  freedom  computerisation  punch-cards  paper  databases 
august 2013 by jm
Applegate's Law
'Over time, the probability of someone drawing a cock with your [user-generated content] app approaches one.'
cocks  b3ta  lol  time-to-penis  user-generated-content  content  ugc  via:rob-manuel  qwghlm  funny  applegates-law  web 
july 2013 by jm
Google Translate of "Lorem ipsum"
The perils of unsupervised machine learning... here's what GTranslate reckons "lorem ipsum" translates to:
We will be sure to post a comment. Add tomato sauce, no tank or a traditional or online. Until outdoor environment, and not just any competition, reduce overall pain. Cisco Security, they set up in the throat develop the market beds of Cura; Employment silently churn-class by our union, very beginner himenaeos. Monday gate information. How long before any meaningful development. Until mandatory functional requirements to developers. But across the country in the spotlight in the notebook. The show was shot. Funny lion always feasible, innovative policies hatred assured. Information that is no corporate Japan
lorem-ipsum  boilerplate  machine-learning  translation  google  translate  probabilistic  tomato-sauce  cisco  funny 
june 2013 by jm
Instant artist statement: Arty Bollocks Generator
'My work explores the relationship between the body and vegetarian ethics.
With influences as diverse as Munch and Francis Bacon, new synergies are created from both orderly and random narratives.
Ever since I was a postgraduate I have been fascinated by the essential unreality of the moment. What starts out as undefined soon becomes corroded into a hegemony of greed, leaving only a sense of failing and the chance of a new order.
As temporal replicas become transformed through diligent and undefined practice, the viewer is left with an impression of the darkness of our culture.'
funny  humor  art  arty  bollocks  generator  hacks  via:leroideplywood 
may 2013 by jm
Hollywood Studios [attempt to censor] Pirate Bay Documentary
Probably not deliberate, but pretty damn inept.
Over the past weeks several movie studios have been trying to suppress the availability of TPB-AFK [the Pirate Bay documentary] by asking Google to remove links to the documentary from its search engine. The links are carefully hidden in standard DMCA takedown notices for popular movies and TV-shows.

The silent attacks come from multiple Hollywood sources including Viacom, Paramount, Fox and Lionsgate and are being sent out by multiple anti-piracy outfits. Fox, with help from six-strikes monitoring company Dtecnet, asked Google to remove a link to TPB-AFK on Mechodownload. Paramount did the same with a link on the Warez.ag forums. Viacom sent at least two takedown requests targeting links to the Pirate Bay documentary on Mrworldpremiere and Rapidmoviez. Finally, Lionsgate jumped in by asking Google to remove a copy of TPB-AFK from a popular Pirate Bay proxy.
funny  inept  hollywood  lionsgate  fox  viacom  paramount  dtecnet  tpb-afk  piratebay  piracy  copyright  movies  google 
may 2013 by jm
Deep In The Game: Not The RTE Guide
Good interview with Alan Maguire, the satirist behind the very funny @NotTheRTEGuide on Twitter:
I’ve always been a huge fan of TV Go Home and Charlie Brooker in general and it seemed like Irish TV and culture was a good target for the kind of barbed surrealism that he does. (I’m not claiming I’m in his league or anything but he’s the main influence). I was really surprised that there hadn’t been a parody RTÉ Guide already. TV listings are 140-ish characters already and the RTÉ Guide has a kind of weird place in Irish culture where everybody knows it but nobody our age really has any idea of what’s in it anymore. We associate it with a small-c conservatism, or I did at least and I play that up occasionally with the account.
nottherteguide  rte  rte-guide  ireland  funny  satire  interviews 
may 2013 by jm
Ked
To our knowledge, Ked is the first scripting language to emerge from The People's Republic of Cork. Below is an account of what we know so far about the mysterious Corkonian language. Any suggested updates or contributions are encouraged.

Genius.
coding  cork  jokes  funny  like  languages  programming 
april 2013 by jm
Ah Here (To Coin A Phrase)
'A €10 silver coin being offered for sale to the public in honour of James Joyce by the Central Bank tomorrow contains a misquote from the author. The line used on the coin from Chapter 3 of Ulysses includes a superfluous conjunction – a rogue ‘that’.' [..] The coin reads:

“Ineluctable modality of the visible: at least that if no more, thought through my eyes. Signatures of all things *that* I am here to read.”


(Incorrect 'that' emphasised)
james-joyce  typos  funny  fail  central-bank  ireland  coins  minting  errors  ulysses 
april 2013 by jm
Roko's basilisk - RationalWiki
Wacky transhumanists.
Roko's basilisk is notable for being completely banned from discussion on LessWrong, where any mention of it is deleted. Eliezer Yudkowsky, founder of LessWrong, considers the basilisk would not work, but will not explain why because he does not consider open discussion of the notion of acausal trade with possible superintelligences to be provably safe.

Silly over-extrapolations of local memes are posted to LessWrong quite a lot; almost all are just downvoted and ignored. But this one, Yudkowsky reacted to hugely, then doubled-down on his reaction. Thanks to the Streisand effect, discussion of the basilisk and the details of the affair soon spread outside of LessWrong. The entire affair is a worked example of spectacular failure at community management and at controlling purportedly dangerous information.

Some people familiar with the LessWrong memeplex have suffered serious psychological distress after contemplating basilisk-like ideas — even when they're fairly sure intellectually that it's a silly problem.[5] The notion is taken sufficiently seriously by some LessWrong posters that they try to work out how to erase evidence of themselves so a future AI can't reconstruct a copy of them to torture.[6]
transhumanism  funny  insane  stupid  singularity  ai  rokos-basilisk  via:maciej  lesswrong  rationalism  superintelligences  striesand-effect  absurd 
march 2013 by jm
Fauxdelma Healy Eames
you really know you've made it as an inept Irish politician when Panti Bliss gets dressed up in her most senatorial wig to take the mickey out of you
funny  comedy  fidelma-healy-eames  politics  ireland  social-media  inept  youtube  video 
march 2013 by jm
the real reason Marissa Mayer canned remote Y! employees (apparently)
After spending months frustrated at how empty Yahoo parking lots were, Mayer consulted Yahoo's VPN logs to see if remote employees were checking in enough. Mayer discovered they were not — and her decision was made.

we're hearing from people close to Yahoo executives and employees that she made the right decision banning work from home. "The employees at Yahoo are thrilled," says one source close to the company. "There isn't massive uprising. The truth is, they've all been pissed off that people haven't been working."
yahoo  work  remote-work  teleworking  slacking  marissa-mayer  funny 
march 2013 by jm
The World Wide Web is Moving to AOL! | Brian Bailey
brilliant parody of those "we're so happy to be shutting down!" posts.
Don't worry, all of that hard work won't be wasted. The World Wide Web will remain accessible for 30 days, which will give you plenty of time to update your readers and customers. Each of you will also receive a 30-day free trial for AOL. Look for your CD in the mail soon.

Even better, we've created an import tool to make it easy to migrate everything you've put on the web to American Online! The address will change, of course, but now it will be available to every AOL member. You may find that you don't need to bother, though. America Online already has groups and pages about almost every topic you can imagine. Take a look around first and you might save yourself a lot of time. There are only so many different ways to say that Citizen Kane was a good movie!

We understand that not all of you will become AOL subscribers and not all web sites will move to the new platform. Just to be safe, be sure to print out all of your favorite pages before the end of the month.
acquihired  acquisitions  aol  www  funny  parody  humour  web 
march 2013 by jm
Programming Language Checklist
'You appear to be advocating a new:
[ ] functional [ ] imperative [ ] object-oriented [ ] procedural [ ] stack-based
[ ] "multi-paradigm" [ ] lazy [ ] eager [ ] statically-typed [ ] dynamically-typed
[ ] pure [ ] impure [ ] non-hygienic [ ] visual [ ] beginner-friendly
[ ] non-programmer-friendly [ ] completely incomprehensible
programming language. Your language will not work. Here is why it will not work.'
humor  programming  funny  coding  languages 
february 2013 by jm
PUBLIC joho / 7XX-rfc
At Railscamp X it became clear there is a gap in the current HTTP specification. There are many ways for a developer to screw up their implementation, but no code to share the nature of the error with the end user. We humbly suggest the following status codes are included in the HTTP spec in the 7XX range.


Includes such useful status codes as "724 - This line should be unreachable".
http  standards  humour  funny  jokes 
january 2013 by jm
Irish mobile phone companies: still spammy
'Pro tip: if you're going to spam, try not to spam the DPC's Director of Investigations.' -- lolz
funny  oh-dear  three  hutchinson  ireland  mobile  spam  dpc  law 
december 2012 by jm
Australian VCE exam question accidentally includes photoshopped Battletech mech
File under New Aesthetic:
Exams for the popular History: Revolution subject were original supposed to include the artwork Storming the Winter palace on 25th October 1917 by Nikolai Kochergin, which depicts events during the October Revolution, which was instrumental in the larger Russian Revolution of 1917. When students opened their exam this morning they found an altered version of the work with what appear to be a large "BattleTech Marauder" robot aiding the rising revolutionaries in the background.
new-aesthetic  funny  photoshop  russia  1917  battletech  mechs  vcaa 
november 2012 by jm
NCBI ROFL: Probably the most horrifying scientific lecture ever

In 1983, at the Urodynamics Society meeting in Las Vegas, Professor G.S. Brindley first announced to the world his experiments on self-injection with papaverine to induce a penile erection. This was the first time that an effective medical therapy for erectile dysfunction (ED) was described, and was a historic development in the management of ED. The way in which this information was first reported was completely unique and memorable, and provides an interesting context for the development of therapies for ED. I was present at this extraordinary lecture, and the details are worth sharing. Although this lecture was given more than 20 years ago, the details have remained fresh in my mind, for reasons which will become obvious.


Go on, guess.
medicine  science  funny  erectile-dysfunction  omgwtf  conferences 
september 2012 by jm
Lessons in website security anti-patterns by Tesco
Troy Hunt, an Aussie software architect working on a .Net security product called ASafaWeb, does a great job extensively deconstructing Tesco's appalling website security on their shopping site. In the process, he gets this wonderful tweet from their customer-care account:

"@troyhunt Let me assure you that all customer passwords are stored securely & in line with industry standards across online retailers."

As he says, this is a clear demonstration that Tesco is in the first stage of the four stages of competence -- "unconscious incompetence": "The individual does not understand or know how to do something and does not necessarily recognise the deficit." ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_stages_of_competence )
tesco  security  passwords  web  http  https  ssl  funny  dot-net  shopping  uk  customer-care 
july 2012 by jm
Brooklyn Integers | Integers as a service
Integers artisanally hand-crafted for you. See also the sister site, missionintegers.com: "Each of our bespoke numbers is created just for you in San Francisco’s historic Mission District. What will you use it for? A letter-pressed receipt. A special touch of latte art. A globally-unique user ID. A woolen hat. The possibilities are as infinite as the space of 64-bit unsigned ints." (via John Allspaw)
via:allspaw  humour  funny  integers  artisan  satire  hand-crafted 
july 2012 by jm
'You are shrunk to the height of a nickel and thrown into a blender. Your mass is reduced so that your density is the same as usual. The blades start moving in 60 seconds. What do you do?'
Brilliant responses to this stereotypically-annoying Google interview question:

"Since being shrunk down like this is impossible, I can only assume this is happening inside a dream or nightmare of some kind. I sit down and meditate, summoning up my Siddartha/Neo like mental powers and realise that there is no blender, and that this terrible dream was created by the ego of a sadistic Google employee. As the kundalini fire races up my spine, and my spirit is liberated, I open my third eye and bathe said Google employee in the light of love. I forgive him, for he knows not what he does."
funny  interviewing  google  blenders  reddit 
july 2012 by jm
satellite rescue abandoned due to patents
'SES and Lockheed Martin explored ways to attempt to bring the functioning [AMC-14] satellite into its correct orbital position, and subsequently began attempting to move the satellite into geosynchronous orbit by means of a lunar flyby (as done a decade earlier with HGS-1). In April 2008, it was announced that this had been abandoned after it was discovered that Boeing held a patent on the trajectory that would be required. At the time, a lawsuit was ongoing between SES and Boeing, and Boeing refused to allow the trajectory to be used unless SES dropped its case.' In. credible. http://www.spacedaily.com/reports/Boeing_Patent_Shuts_Down_AMC_14_Lunar_Flyby_Salvage_Attempt_999.html notes 'Industry sources have told SpaceDaily that the patent is regarded as legal "trite", as basic physics has been rebranded as a "process", and that the patent wouldn't stand up to any significant level of court scrutiny and was only registered at the time as "the patent office was incompetent when it came to space matters"', but still -- who'd want to go up in court against Boeing?
boeing  space  patenting  via:hn  funny  sad  lockheed-martin  ses  amc-14  business-process  patents 
may 2012 by jm
Welcome to Life: the singularity, ruined by lawyers - YouTube
'some portions of the experience, such as the sky, may be replaced by personalised advertising.' Uploading your consciousness in the age of copyright maximalism, as Nelson Minar put it (via Nelson)
via:nelson  grim-meathook-future  future  singularity  funny  copyright  advertising 
may 2012 by jm
Chromium builders vs Chrome builders - Chromium-dev | Google Groups
Chromium bug report mail contains mis-pasted porn site link instead of genuine debug output. best follow-up: 'I think that link had a few backdoors', ho ho ho (via Filippo)
via:filippo  funny  porn  chromium  bug-reports  oops  cut-and-paste 
march 2012 by jm
Fake Unicode Consortium
featuring such codepoints as "I USED TO BE A LATIN CAPITAL LETTER K LIKE YOU THEN I TOOK AN ARROW IN THE KNEE", "BACK TO THE FUTURE", "ENTERING HYPERSPACE", "LATIN CAPITAL LETTER Q TAKING A NAP", and "LOVE HOTEL". no wait, that one's real (via Tony Finch, with comments by Michael Everson!)
unicode  humor  codepoints  i18n  fonts  skyrim  hyperspace  funny  via:fanf 
march 2012 by jm
Is it any wonder the country is the way it is?
Auto-generated complaints about the dreadful state of Ireland, for the pessimistic begrudger on the go. 'We might as well face it - the cast of Fade Street, without any legal grounds, never gave a shit about people in the midlands.'
lol  funny  begrudgery  ireland  satire  via:broadsheet  was-is-for-this  1916 
march 2012 by jm
Zombie Gnomes Bye Bye Birdie by ChrisandJanesPlace on Etsy
'This is a sorry sight indeed. A poor helpless Lawn Flamingo has been taken down by zombie gnomes: Nose-less Ned, Greedy Gary, and Bartolomeu.It seems like an unlikely kill until Bartolomeu broke the elegant beasts leg and brought it crashing to the ground. Where they pounced upon their helpless victim and began their feast. So we say "Bye Bye Birdie, I'm going to miss you so, Bye Bye Birdie, Why'd you have to go?"' -- bloody hell
etsy  regretsy  funny  odd  flamingo  zombies  gnomes 
february 2012 by jm
The Millions : The Arcades Project: Martin Amis’ Guide to Classic Video Games
This really exists. “Do I take risks in order to gobble up the fruit symbol in the middle of the screen? I do not, and neither should you. Like the fat and harmless saucer in Missile Command (q.v.), the fruit symbol is there simply to tempt you into hubristic sorties. Bag it.”
omgwtf  martin-amis  video-games  space-invaders  pacman  reviews  tips  funny 
february 2012 by jm
Politics.ie - Labour Senator takes to twitter to defend comments, insults all around him
In which Ben Walsh memorably takes on racist/right-wing comments from a Labour senator, and gets told to "go back to D4". ho ho
twitter  funny  ireland  politics 
february 2012 by jm
Bug #885027 in calibre: “SUID Mount Helper has 5 Major Vulnerabilities”
Amazing response to a security bug report. 'what's happening in this bug report right now is a perfect example of how *not* to do security response. When faced with two people who clearly know a few things about secure coding, rather than taking their advice and actually fixing the root cause of the problem (or abandon it as a hopeless situation, which is probably the more appropriate response), you've chosen to waste our time by demanding that we write weaponized exploits to exploit what most people already know to be exploitable. To top it off, when shown repeatedly how your half-baked "fixes" don't actually fix anything, rather than taking our advice you just add another small hurdle that can be trivially bypassed. It would be sad if it weren't so funny. I've decided that it's time to stop beating a dead horse. Usually I get paid good money to own software this hard, and I don't think you're worth making an exception. Best of luck, I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually.'
security  funny  calibre  linux  setuid  inept  open-source  bugs  bug-reports 
november 2011 by jm
the etymology of the anatomical term "Thagomizer"
'The term was coined by Gary Larson in a 1982 Far Side comic strip, in which a group of cavemen in a faux-modern lecture hall are taught by their caveman professor that the spikes were named "after the late Thag Simmons". The term was picked up initially by Ken Carpenter, a palaeontologist at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science, who used the term when describing a fossil at the Society of Vertebrate Paleontology Annual Meeting in 1993. Thagomizer has since been adopted as an informal anatomical term, and is used by the Smithsonian Institution, the Dinosaur National Monument in Utah, the book The Complete Dinosaur and the BBC documentary series Planet Dinosaur.' (via John Looney)
via:john-looney  thagomizer  the-far-side  comics  til  dinosaurs  funny 
october 2011 by jm
'What Idiot Wrote The Patent That Might Invalidate Software Patents? Oh, Wait, That Was Me' | Techdirt
'So I was thinking - great they invalidated software patents, lets see what crappy patent written by an idiot they picked to do it - then I realized the idiot in question was me :-)

Not sure how I feel about this.

John - inventor of the patent in question.'
patents  swpats  reform  usa  software-development  coding  funny  techdirt 
august 2011 by jm
Arthur Recreates Scenes from Classic Movies
bored on maternity leave, this is what happens (via Niamh)
movies  babies  funny  via:niamh 
july 2011 by jm
Redditor explains why Apple power cables break frequently
"As with any company, Apple consists of many divisions (Sales, Marketing, Customer Service, etc.) THE most powerful division at Apple is Industrial Design. For those of you unfamiliar with the term industrial design, this is the division that makes the decisions about the overall look and feel of Apple's products. And when I say "the most powerful", I mean that their decisions trump the decisions of any other division at Apple, including Engineering and Customer Service. Now it just so happens that the Industrial Design department HATES how a strain relief looks on a power adapter. They would much prefer to have a nice clean transition between the cable and the plug. Aesthetically, this does look nicer, but from an engineering point of view, it's pretty much committing reliability suicide. Because there is no strain relief, the cables fail at a very high rate because they get bent at very harsh angles. I'm sure that the Engineering division gave every reason in the world why a strain relief should be on an adapter cable, and Customer Service said how bad the customer experience would be if tons of adapters failed, but if industrial design doesn't like a strain relief, guess what, it gets removed."
apple  cables  design  industrial-design  power-cables  funny 
june 2011 by jm
Hipster Ipsum
'Adipisicing do Tumblr fugiat vinyl Pitchfork. Organic tempor laboris, esse Tumblr irure eu nostrud. Dolor Cosby sweater mustache qui consequat incididunt. McSweeney's ullamco occaecat Wes Anderson. Minim aute lomo, duis ea proident enim Carles. Eiusmod culpa photo booth ex. Pariatur incididunt minim qui, dolor Pitchfork wayfarers mollit vinyl fixie.' (via boogah)
via:boogah  hipster  lorem-ipsum  filler  text  markov-chains  funny  humour 
june 2011 by jm
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