jm + funny   209

I Just Love This Juicero Story So Much
When we signed up to pump money into this juice company, it was because we thought drinking the juice would be a lot harder and more expensive. That was the selling point, because Silicon Valley is a stupid libertarian dystopia where investor-class vampires are the consumers and a regular person’s money is what they go shopping for. Easily opened bags of juice do not give these awful nightmare trash parasites a good bargain on the disposable income of credulous wellness-fad suckers; therefore easily opened bags of juice are a worse investment than bags of juice that are harder to open.
juicero  juicebros  techbros  silicon-valley  funny  dystopia  fruit  bags  juice 
4 days ago by jm
Fans of chess were outraged when the queen piece was added
"scacchi alla rabiosa" ("madwoman's chess") faced a backlash from 16th-century gamergaters
gamergate  funny  16th-century  history  chess  gaming  games  queen 
13 days ago by jm
The Centennial Society's business reply pamphlet | Stop Junk Mail
The classic "office riot" pamphlet...

'The Centennial Society, a radical anti-consumerist movement, has come up with a more arty way of returning junk mail. Pre-paid envelopes can be used to send people working in the junk mail industry information about how to break free. No junk mailer really likes his job; wasting tonnes and tonnes of paper on useless advertisements makes few people feel good about themselves. The Business Reply Pamphlet shows them the way to freedom.'
riot  offices  junk-mail  funny  art  centennial-society  ads  trash-the-gaff 
15 days ago by jm
Monk Gloats Over Yoga Championship - The Onion
One of the Onion's all-time classics. Still eminently quotable.

LHASA, TIBET—Employing the brash style that first brought him to prominence, Sri Dhananjai Bikram won the fifth annual International Yogi Competition yesterday with a world-record point total of 873.6. “I am the serenest!” Bikram shouted to the estimated crowd of 20,000 yoga fans, vigorously pumping his fists. “No one is serener than Sri Dhananjai Bikram—I am the greatest monk of all time!”
funny  onion  satire  humour  yoga  serene  serenest 
15 days ago by jm
The criminal exploits of "Prawo Jazdy"
Excellent policing folklore here....

'Eventually a letter was sent to the Polish embassy to ask for the Polish government's assistance in bringing this rogue motorist to justice.
Their reply was as swift as it was courteous. It said "Prawo Jazdy is Polish for driver's license".'
gardai  policing  ireland  polish  driving  safety  road-safety  funny  anecdotes 
29 days ago by jm
When the Children Crashed Dad’s BBC Interview: The Family Speaks - WSJ
Mr. Kelly describes his reaction as a mixture of surprise, embarrassment and amusement but also love and affection. The couple says they weren’t mad and didn’t scold the children. “I mean it was terribly cute,” Mr. Kelly said. “I saw the video like everybody else. My wife did a great job cleaning up a really unanticipated situation as best she possibly could... It was funny. If you watch the tape I was sort of struggling to keep my own laughs down. They’re little kids and that’s how things are.” “Yes I was mortified, but I also want my kids to feel comfortable coming to me,” Mr. Kelly said.

cute  family  bbc  interviews  funny  viral  kids  hippity-hoppity  robert-kelly 
5 weeks ago by jm
Why Aren’t Baby Boomers Eating Pho? – Medium
'Their decidedly un-hygge reluctance to partake in comforting, clear-brothed Vietnamese soups most likely stems from the generation’s reckless spending habits — many bought homes in their early 20’s. Some even claim they have owned upwards of seven cars over the course of their lifetimes. Unbelievably, many have never ridden a bicycle post-childhood.'
boomers  funny  jokes  pho  soup  news  lifestyle  age 
8 weeks ago by jm
Sanrio Introduces Rage-Filled Red Panda Character Aggretsuko
If you’ve always loved Hello Kitty but wish she also came with a deep well of rage, Sanrio has introduced just the character for you: Aggretsuko. An adorable 25-year-old red panda who works as an office associate, Aggretsuko is constantly taken advantage of and bothered by her boss and co-workers. So she deals with it by pounding beers and screaming death-metal karaoke.
sanrio  hello-kitty  aggretsuko  funny  japan  anger  rage  death-metal  karaoke 
january 2017 by jm
"Solving Imaginary Scaling Issues At Scale — Getting the wrong idea from that conference talk you attended"
Amazing virtuoso performance:

Chapter 1: Databases with cool-sounding names.
Chapter 2: using BitTorrent for everything.
Chapter 3: forget Torrents. Use the blockchain for everything.
Chapter 4: sharding the database before adding any indexes.
Chapter 5: upgrading to faster processors without checking if you're limited by disk I/O.
Chapter 6: rewriting APIs in C for speed without compressing data on the wire.
Chapter 7: putting large blobs of binary data into SQL databases for fun and profit.
Chapter 8: using protobufs to poll 300 times per second.
Chapter 9: diagnose scaling issues by grepping 10 lines of code and guessing.
Chapter 10: putting Varnish in front of everything just in case.
Chapter 11: buying boxes with gigantic amounts of RAM.
Chapter 12: realizing your HAProxy box is still a micro instance.
Chapter 13: rewriting 3 of 10 features in Go and declaring victory.
Chapter 14: split everything into 35 microservices all maintained by 1 person.
Chapter 15: 300% performance boosts by deleting data validity checks.
Chapter 16: minifying the JS of your O(n^3) to-do list.
Chapter 17: Fuck It, Let's Try Erlang.
Chapter 18: Blaming Everything On The Last Person To Quit.
Chapter 19: A Bloom Filter Will Definitely Fix This.
Chapter 20: Move all client-side processing to the server and/or vice-versa.
Chapter 21: Putting A Node.js Proxy In Front Of Our COBOL Backend Will Definitely Improve Matters.
Chapter 22: A Type-Checked Transpilation Step Will Surely Speed Things Up.
Chapter 23: Writing A New Language Almost The Same As Your Old Language But Faster (guest chapter by Facebook).
Chapter 24: Replacing an SQL DB with a NoSQL DB then implementing SQL in your ORM.
Chapter 25: Migrating From Bare Metal To The Cloud Or Vice-Versa, Whichever You're Not Currently Doing.
Chapter 26: Putting everything behind a CDN except the slow, complicated parts.
Chapter 27: Applying distributed map-reduce to less than 1 gigabyte of data.
Chapter 28: Running exactly the same software, but in Docker.
Chapter 29: Machine learning: how it will magically fix your crappy code.
Chapter 30: Blaming your package manager for slow run-time performance.
Chapter 31: Moving processing from the CPU to the GPU without changing the algorithm.
Chapter 32: Switching To Heroku Or Away From Heroku Or A Hybrid Heroku-AWS model, whichever sounds the most fun.
Chapter 33: Loading all your dependencies from somebody else's github repo.
Chapter 34: optimizing your PNGs while hosting 300MB video ads.
Chapter 35: hosting your database in memory and your images on S3.
scalability  funny  lol  twitter  oreilly 
november 2016 by jm
DST breaks everything
LOL as DST bug uncovers spurious automated noise complaints:
In January last year the airport unearthed a scheme whereby campaigners were using automated software to generate complaints against the airport. Officials caught out the set-up when the two anti-Heathrow enthusiasts forgot to take into account the hour going back in October, and began complaining about flights that had not yet taken off or arrived.
bugs  dst  daylight-savings-time  funny  heathrow  complaints  automation  noise 
november 2016 by jm
Anti-Brexit traitors outed on twitter
oh god this is funny. Louise Mensch and various UKIPpers fall for transparent pisstake involving "taking Article 50 out of the ring binder and shredding it. It now goes straight from 49 to 51" etc.
twitter  louise-mensch  funny  idiots  fail  brexit  ukip 
october 2016 by jm
Sean O'Dowd on Twitter: "damn someone at apple needs a hug"
stack trace leads with a symbol called "_thereIsNoSadnessLikeTheDeathOfOptimism"
stack-traces  apple  funny  lol  optimism  naming 
october 2016 by jm
Mt. Gox had a chair worth $28,000
According to the bankruptcy documents, one of the assets listed is 'a chair worth 2,902,119JPY, or roughly $28,000USD.'
chairs  funny  mtgox  scams  bitcoin  furniture  assets  bankruptcy 
october 2016 by jm
Ludicrous Patent of the Week: Rectangles on a computer screen
"Chinese internet giant Tencent" have been granted a USPTO patent for drawing a box on a screen.
boxes  screen  tencent  patents  uspto  funny  absurd  swpats  via:markdennehy 
october 2016 by jm
Artist Tricks Tourists With Elaborate Monument To Staten Island Ferry Octopus Attack
'You probably don't know much about the Staten Island Ferry Disaster Memorial Museum, which honors the 400 victims who died when a giant octopus attacked the Cornelius G. Kolff, a Staten Island Ferry boat, on Nov. 22, 1963. That isn't because the event was overshadowed by the assassination of JFK that same day—it's because, as you may have guessed based on the word "tricks" in the headline, there was no such octopus-induced tragedy.'
ferries  staten-island  octopi  funny  pranks  tourism 
september 2016 by jm
"Dr Conan T. Barbarian" expelled from the TCD School of English staff directory
The profile went on to say Dr Barbarian completed his PhD, entitled ‘To Hear The Lamentation of Their Women: Constructions of Masculinity in Contemporary Zamoran Literature’ at UCD and was appointed to the School of English in 2006, “after sucessfully decapitating his predecessor during a bloody battle which will long be remembered in legend and song”. “In 2011/12, he will be teaching on the following courses: ‘The Relevance of Crom in the Modern World’, ‘Theories of Literature’, ‘Vengeance for Beginners’, ‘Deciphering the Riddle of Steel’ and ‘D.H. Lawrence’.
tcd  funny  conan  staff  pranks 
september 2016 by jm
Fuck Your Noguchi Coffee Table
"fuck your bookshelf with all of the spines facing in"
funny  fuck-this  noguchi  coffee-tables  furniture  design 
september 2016 by jm
'aw yiss comic generator'. AW YISS
aw-yiss  memes  meme-generators  funny  kate-beaton 
august 2016 by jm
Exit Scam Survival Guide : Buttcoin
Bitcoin lols:
Honesty is most important. Be sure to carefully explain that (excluding the mountain of evidence to the contrary) there was no way to foresee the [Bitcoin] exchange hacking. Practice phrases like, "this operation was the most trustworthy exchange running out of a vacant building in Singapore" and "no we can't just call the exchange, they don't have a phone number". If your significant other criticizes your decision to buy cryptocurrencies, be sure to fall back on technical merits of cryptocurrencies. Mention, "it's backed by math" and "[insert cryptocurrency here] didn't fail, people failed".
bitcoin  buttcoin  lol  funny  cryptocurrency  security  exchanges 
august 2016 by jm
Frankly Useless Crank “Knowledge,” Only For Fools
A wonderfully-sweary post on the etymology of swear words, and how they're not derived from acronyms, really.
shit? Also from an old Germanic root, descended equally to modern German Scheiss (which sounds closer to Scots shite). It shows up in Old English, fully inflected: “Wiþ þon þe men mete untela melte & gecirre on yfele wætan & scittan” (that scittan is an infinitive form of ‘shit’ and was said like “shit-tan”). I can assure you that an acronym Ship High In Transit – supposedly meaning that manure was to be loaded in the upper parts of ships – was not possible in the language in the Old English period, not just because transit was not borrowed from Latin until half a millennium later, or because they didn’t use acronyms like that then, but because what the fuck are you even thinking. They didn’t need to ship manure. Animals produce it on the spot everywhere. Holy shit, fucking seriously.
shit  funny  words  etymology  acronyms 
july 2016 by jm
Violet Club
eye-poppingly bizarre half-assed safety features of the 1950s -- a megaton nuclear weapon rendered safe from accidental criticality accidents only by a plastic bag full of ball bearings
nuclear-weapons  nukes  safety  1950s  uk  funny  bizarre  violet-club  ball-bearings  via:cstross 
july 2016 by jm
The Apollo 11 AGC source code was uploaded to Github, and someone opened an issue
For the famous Apollo 13 near-fatal failure scenario:
'A customer has had a fairly serious problem with stirring the cryogenic tanks with a circuit fault present. To reproduce:

Build CSM;
Perform mission up to translunar coast;
During translunar coast, attempt to stir cryo tanks

If a wiring fault exists, the issue may be replicated. Be aware that this may be hazardous to the tester attempting it.'

Sample response: 'Does it happens only with translunar coast (sol-3-a), or any moon coasting? It may be a problem with the moon. Just trying to narrow down the issue.'
lol  funny  apollo  apollo-11  apollo-13  agc  history  space  github 
july 2016 by jm
The Dutch word for "nitpicker" is significantly more sweary
via James Kelleher on Twitter: "‘Mierenneuker’ — Dutch slang for someone who pays (too much) attention to detail, literally ‘ant-fucker’."; and in German, 'Korinthenkacker', "raisin-shitter".
raisins  funny  words  ants  dutch  german  language  nit-picking  perfectionism 
may 2016 by jm
A poem about Silicon Valley, made up of Quora questions about Silicon Valley

Why do so many startups fail?
Why are all the hosts on CouchSurfing male?
Are we going to be tweeting for the rest of our lives?
Why do Silicon Valley billionaires choose average-looking wives?

What makes a startup ecosystem thrive?
What do people plan to do once they’re over 35?
Is an income of $160K enough to survive?
What kind of car does Mark Zuckerberg drive?

Are the real estate prices in Palo Alto crazy?
Do welfare programs make poor people lazy?
What are some of the biggest lies ever told?
How do I explain Bitcoin to a 6-year-old?

Why is Powdered Alcohol not successful so far?
How does UberX handle vomiting in the car?
Is being worth $10 million considered ‘rich’?
What can be causing my upper lip to twitch?

Why has crowdfunding not worked for me?
Is it worth pre-ordering a Tesla Model 3?
How is Clinkle different from Venmo and Square?
Can karma, sometimes, be unfair?

Why are successful entrepreneurs stereotypically jerks?
Which Silicon Valley company has the best intern perks?
What looks easy until you actually try it?
How did your excretions change under a full Soylent diet?

What are alternatives to online dating?
Is living in small apartments debilitating?
Why don’t more entrepreneurs focus on solving world hunger?
What do you regret not doing when you were younger?
funny  tech  poetry  silicon-valley  humour  bitcoin  soylent  2016 
april 2016 by jm
Donald Rumsfeld wrote the best memo ever: "Issues w/Various Countries"
Paraphrasing: "I have made a massive mess of US foreign policy and the whole world is falling apart. Have you fixed it for me yet?"

Right in the middle of the biggest Middle Eastern shitstorm ever created, April 7, 2003. Heck of a job, Rummie
donald-rumsfeld  inept  gobshites  korea  pakistan  issues  world-politics  funny  facepalm  george-w-bush  iraq  syria  libya  amazing 
april 2016 by jm
3d Printing Is Not For You
I would only recommend 3d printing to someone who wanted a hobby, and wanted that hobby to be 3d printing, not "having parts made on a 3d printer". The printing itself is the activity. If you have any other primary motivation your parts will fail more often than they'll succeed.

(via burritojustice)
via:burritojustice  3d-printing  machines  parts  things  hobbies  open-source  funny 
april 2016 by jm
'Devastating' bug pops secure doors at airports, hospitals
"A command injection vulnerability exists in this function due to a lack of any sanitisation on the user-supplied input that is fed to the system() call," Lawshae says.

security  iot  funny  fail  linux  unix  backticks  system  udp  hid  vertx  edge 
april 2016 by jm
CNBC "How Secure Is Your Password" tester form is a spectacular security shitshow
It not only runs over HTTP, it also sends your password to a bunch of third-party ad trackers. omgwtfbbqfail
fail  wtf  funny  cnbc  clowns  inept  security  passwords  http  ad-trackers 
march 2016 by jm
Microsoft terminates its Tay AI chatbot after she turns into a Nazi
'if you tell her "repeat after me" she will parrot back whatever you say, allowing you to put words into her mouth.'

what. the. fuck. Microsoft.
omgwtfbbq  4chan  funny  microsoft  fail  tay 
march 2016 by jm
Cronenberg Valentines
Valentine's Day cards for you and yours, from one of cinema's true visionaries. How do you communicate the depth of your desire? Say it with Cronenberg Valentines.
david-cronenberg  horror  gross  naked-lunch  movies  valentines-day  funny 
february 2016 by jm
Semisupervised Intern Descent
Also known as "Graduate Student Descent", a common approach to hyperparameter tuning in machine learning -- ie. get an intern to sit there tweaking parameters until they find something approximating optimal performance
optimization  funny  terms  terminology  graduate-student-descent  hyperparameters  semisupervised-intern-descent  tuning  interns 
february 2016 by jm
GCHQ's Spam Problem
'“Spam emails are a large proportion of emails seen in SIGINT [signals intelligence],” reads part of a dense document from the Snowden archive, published by Boing Boing on Tuesday. “GCHQ would like to reduce the impact of spam emails on data storage, processing and analysis.”' (circa 2011). Steganography, anyone? (via Tony Finch)
spam  anti-spam  gchq  funny  boing-boing  sigint  snowden  surveillance 
february 2016 by jm
Phone robot keeps annoying telemarketers talking for as long as possible
'Anderson encourages his readers to forward telemarketers to the robot, and is happy to send them recordings of the ensuing conversations. His instructions are below if you'd like to give it a shot.'
telemarketers  script  robodialing  spam  funny 
february 2016 by jm
"What the hell have you built"
cut out and keep PNG for many occasions! "Why is Redis talking to MongoDB?"
mongodb  redis  funny  architecture  gifs  png  reactiongifs 
january 2016 by jm
Tara Pilgrimage 2006 - Indymedia Ireland
OMG, this is hilarious. High drama among the arch-druids (via Lisa Carey)
fascism  funny  tara  ireland  druids  trolls  indymedia 
january 2016 by jm
No Harm, No Fowl: Chicken Farm Inappropriate Choice for Data Disposal
That’s a lesson that Spruce Manor Special Care Home in Saskatchewan had to learn the hard way (as surprising as that might sound). As a trustee with custody of personal health information, Spruce Manor was required under section 17(2) of the Saskatchewan Health Information Protection Act to dispose of its patient records in a way that protected patient privacy. So, when Spruce Manor chose a chicken farm for the job, it found itself the subject of an investigation by the Saskatchewan Information and Privacy Commissioner.  In what is probably one of the least surprising findings ever, the commissioner wrote in his final report that “I recommend that Spruce Manor […] no longer use [a] chicken farm to destroy records”, and then for good measure added “I find using a chicken farm to destroy records unacceptable.”
data  law  privacy  funny  chickens  farming  via:pinboard  data-protection  health  medical-records 
november 2015 by jm
What Happens Next Will Amaze You
Maciej Ceglowski's latest talk, on ads, the web, Silicon Valley and government:
'I went to school with Bill. He's a nice guy. But making him immortal is not going to make life better for anyone in my city. It will just exacerbate the rent crisis.'
talks  slides  funny  ads  advertising  internet  web  privacy  surveillance  maciej  silicon-valley 
september 2015 by jm
Little Drummer Boy Challenge
'It's very easy: So long as you don't hear "The Little Drummer Boy," you're a contender. As soon as you hear it on the radio, on TV, in a store, wherever, you're out.'
ldbc  games  funny  xmas  christmas  music  songs  cheese 
september 2015 by jm
Three Flavours Cornetto trilogy
Shaun Of The Dead, Hot Fuzz, and The World's End are a trilogy. I had no idea! (via David Malone)
movies  edgar-wright  via:dwmalone  funny  film  cornetto 
august 2015 by jm
WereBank | Were Bank Energy for the People
The Freeman-On-The-Land movement is starting a bank. lols guaranteed
freemen  funny  werebank  banking  money  on-my-oath  maritime-law 
july 2015 by jm
'A programming language based on the one liners of Arnold Schwarzenegger'. Presenting hello.arnoldc:

TALK TO THE HAND "hello world"

(via Robert Walsh)
via:rjwalsh  c  arnold-schwarzenegger  one-liners  funny  coding  silly  languages 
july 2015 by jm
jwz on Inceptionism
"Shoggoth ovipositors":
So then they reach inside to one of the layers and spin the knob randomly to fuck it up. Lower layers are edges and curves. Higher layers are faces, eyes and shoggoth ovipositors. [....] But the best part is not when they just glitch an image -- which is a fun kind of embossing at one end, and the "extra eyes" filter at the other -- but is when they take a net trained on some particular set of objects and feed it static, then zoom in, and feed the output back in repeatedly. That's when you converge upon the platonic ideal of those objects, which -- it turns out -- tend to be Giger nightmare landscapes. Who knew. (I knew.)

This stuff is still boggling my mind. All those doggy faces! That is one dog-obsessed ANN.
neural-networks  ai  jwz  funny  shoggoths  image-recognition  hr-giger  art  inceptionism 
june 2015 by jm
Me vs An Post
Increasingly bizarre postal address obfuscation with An Post, the Irish postal service. Example:
I have decided to see what you can post [....] My first experiment was a dice [sic] with one line of the address on each side. An Post delivered two days later. They win this round

Via JG
fun  an-post  post  games  funny  tumblr  via:johngilbert 
june 2015 by jm
Dong detection in LEGO Universe
great example of how Minecraft solved the problem the easy way -- by simply not making an MMO, the whole problem effectively goes away
penis  funny  games  lego  lego-universe  minecraft  gaming  mmo  ugc 
june 2015 by jm
Russia just made a ton of Internet memes illegal - The Washington Post
In post-Soviet Russia, you don’t make memes. Memes make (or unmake?) you. That is, at least, the only conclusion we can draw from an announcement made this week by Russia’s three-year-old media agency/Internet censor Roskomnadzor, which made it illegal to publish any Internet meme that depicts a public figure in a way that has nothing to do with his “personality.”
memes  photoshop  russia  freedom  web  internet  funny  humour  roskomnadzor  censorship  sad-keanu 
april 2015 by jm
President's message gets lost in (automated) translation
In a series of bizarre translations, YouTube’s automated translation service took artistic licence with the [President's] words of warmth.

When the head of state sent St Patrick’s Day greetings to viewers, the video sharing site said US comedian Tina Fey was being “particular with me head”. As President Higgins spoke of his admiration for Irish emigrants starting new communities abroad, YouTube said the President referenced blackjack and how he “just couldn’t put the new iPhone” down. And, in perhaps the most unusual moment, as he talked of people whose hearts have sympathy, the President “explained” he was once on a show “that will bar a gift card”.

(via Daragh O'Brien)
lol  president  ireland  michael-d-higgins  automation  translation  machine-learning  via:daraghobrien  funny  blackjack  iphone  tina-fey  st-patrick  fail 
march 2015 by jm
Men Angrily Eating Raw Steak
the stock-photo counterpart to "Women Eating Salad" has been found
stock-photos  photos  meat  steak  funny  men  salad 
march 2015 by jm
H.P. Lovecat
Because there exists no method known to man, more terribly suited to expose the cosmic meaningless of existence than pairing the words of H.P. Lovecraft with seemingly delightful and charming pictures of adorable kittens.
lovecraft  cthulhu  horror  funny  kittens  cats  images  gif 
january 2015 by jm
Bad Kids Jokes
'I now a man with a wooden leg named sea
what was the name of the other leg
funny  humor  kids  jokes  humour 
january 2015 by jm
To demonstrate that hackers have no interest in suppressing speech, quashing controversy, or being intimidated by vague threats, we ask that Sony allow the hacker community to distribute "The Interview" for them on the 25th of December. Now, we're aware that Sony may refer to this distribution method as piracy, but in this particular case, it may well prove to be the salvation of the motion picture industry. By freely offering the film online, millions of people will get to see it and decide for themselves if it has any redeeming qualities whatsoever - as opposed to nobody seeing it and the studios writing it off as a total loss. Theaters would be free from panic as our servers would become the target of any future vague threats (and we believe Hollywood will be most impressed with how resilient peer-to-peer distribution can be in the face of attacks). Most importantly, we would be defying intimidation, something the motion picture industry doesn't quite have a handle on, which is surprising considering how much they've relied upon it in the past.
2600  funny  hackers  security  sony  north-korea  the-interview  movies  piracy 
december 2014 by jm
Goat Simulator's fake MMO
This is classic. I love the "Rouge":
We also wanted the Rouge to actually look like a stealth-oriented make-up artist, but our 3D artist thought the goat looked ridiculous with a pink wig and a Gucci bag, so we remade the Rouge to actually look like a Rogue.
rogue  rouge  goats  goat-simulator  funny  satire  mmos  mmorpg  games  warcraft 
november 2014 by jm
Stupid Projects From The Stupid Hackathon
iPad On A Face by Cheryl Wu is a telepresence robot, except it’s a human with an iPad on his or her face.
funny  hacking  stupid  hackathons  ipad-on-a-face  telepresence  hacks  via:hn 
november 2014 by jm
Why Gandhi Is Such An Asshole In Civilization
When a player adopted democracy in Civilization, their aggression would be automatically reduced by 2. Code being code, if Gandhi went democratic his aggression wouldn't go to -1, it looped back around to the ludicrously high figure of 255, making him as aggressive as a civilization could possibly be.
civ  civilization  funny  videogames  bugs  gandhi  nuclear-war  integers  overflow 
november 2014 by jm
Belkin Router Apocalypse
Many Belkin routers attempt to determine if they're connected to the internet by pinging '', in a classic amateur fail move. Good reason not to run Belkin firmware if that's the level of code quality to expect
belkin  fail  ping  icmp  funny  internet  dailywtf  broken 
october 2014 by jm
The Womansplainer
Brilliant. Nice use of an anime avatar, to boot....

'Consulting for men who have better things to do than educate themselves about feminism. Got a question for a feminist? I would be happy to educate you! Below are my rates.'
feminism  gamergate  funny  mansplaining  misandry  misogyny  twitter  lmgtfy 
october 2014 by jm
on using JSON as a config file format
Ben Hughes on twitter:

"JSON is fine for config files, if you don't want to comment your config file. Which is a way of saying, it isn't fine for config files."
ben-hughes  funny  json  file-formats  config-files  configuration  software  coding 
september 2014 by jm
Texas Judge References 'The Big Lebowski'
"The First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution is similarly suspicious of prior restraints," wrote Justice Lehrmann in the decision highlighting a cornerstone that has "been reaffirmed time and again by the Supreme Court, this Court, Texas courts of appeals, legal treatises, and even popular culture." That last reference to popular culture contained an interesting footnote citing none other than Walter Sobchak, a character in ['The Big Lebowski'].
lebowski  movies  coen-brothers  prior-restraint  law  supreme-court  walter-sobchak  funny 
september 2014 by jm
Frogsort as an exam question (via qwghlm)
via:qwghlm  frogsort  sorting  big-o  algorithms  funny  comics  smbc 
august 2014 by jm
Comment #28 : Bug #255161 : Bugs : “cupsys” package : Ubuntu
file(1) bug causes the input Postscript file to be misidentified as an Erlang JAM file if it contains the string 'Tue' starting at byte 4.
via:hackernews  file  unix  cups  printing  funny  bugs  fail  ubuntu  linux 
august 2014 by jm
Worf/Joy Division tee shirt
brilliant. a great threadless sub from Threadless user NickOG back in 2012
worf  star-trek  joy-division  tee-shirts  threadless  funny 
august 2014 by jm
South Downs litter picker has truck named after him - West Sussex County Times
This is amazing. In , David Sedaris had written: 'in recognition of all the rubbish I’ve collected since getting my Fitbit, my local council is naming a garbage truck after me'; naturally, I assumed he was joking, but it looks like he wasn't:
Horsham District Council has paid thanks to a volunteer who devotes a great deal of time and energy to walking many miles clearing litter from near where he lives as well as surrounding areas.

David Sedaris litter picks in areas including Parham, Coldwaltham, Storrington and beyond. In recognition for all his fantastic work and dedication and as a token of Horsham District Council’s appreciation, the council has named one of their waste vehicles after him. The vehicle, bedecked with its bespoke ‘Pig Pen Sedaris’ sign was officially unveiled by the Lord-Lieutenant of West Sussex Mrs Susan Pyper at an outdoor ceremony on July 23.

Best of all, the article utterly fails to mention who he is. Amazing.

(via John Braine)
via:john-braine  funny  david-sedaris  litter  uk  horsham  rubbish  garbage  cleaning  volunteering  walking 
july 2014 by jm
Paleo is the Scientology of Diet
Being paleo is like paying a stupidity tax. Again, it’s not you who is stupid, but the diet sure is, because it lets you drink paleo coffee while putting paleo butter and paleo syrup on your paleo waffles before you drive your paleo minivan to the paleo office to sit in your paleo cube and do spreadsheets on your paleo computer. See, the paleo diet made up a bunch of silly rules on how we allegedly ate, and then goes and twists them all to hell in the name of selling you a crappy, overpriced product. That is scientology-level stupid.
scientology  paleo  rants  funny  food  diet  health  bulletproof-coffee  stupid 
june 2014 by jm
Unchi-kun Candy - Japanese Lucky Poop Candy
What doesn't look like Christmas more than a smiling piece of poop, called unchi in Japanese? Because the shape of unchi looks similar to that of mochi used for shrine offerings, and because the sound "unchi" like the Japanese word for luck, this treat is actually a lucky gift -- at least that is how you can explain yourself when you give it as a gift. Each Unchi-kun comes packed with poop candy, taken out from the bottom. Once finished eating, you can open the slot in the back with a box-cutter and turn it into a bank.

Want one!
unchi-kun  unchi  pile-of-poo  emoji  unicode  cute  funny  japan  j-list  sweets  food  gross  candy 
may 2014 by jm
Scarfolk Council
Scarfolk is a town in North West England that did not progress beyond 1979. Instead, the entire decade of the 1970s loops ad infinitum. Here in Scarfolk, pagan rituals blend seamlessly with science; hauntology is a compulsory subject at school, and everyone must be in bed by 8pm because they are perpetually running a slight fever. "Visit Scarfolk today. Our number one priority is keeping rabies at bay." For more information please reread.
scarfolk  1970s  england  history  funny  humour  public-information  pagan  morbid 
april 2014 by jm
Ryanair drops out of top Google flight search results after website overhaul | Business |
They've done the classic website-redesign screwup -- omitted redirects from the old URLs.
Sam Silverwood-Cope, director of Intelligent Positioning, said: "They've ignored the legacy of the old It's quite startling. They are doing it just before their busiest time of the year." A change in [URLs] without proper redirects means many results found by Google now simply return error pages, he added. "Unless redirects get put in pretty soon, the position is going to get worse and worse."
ryanair  inept  fail  funny  via:christinebohan  web  google  search  redirects 
april 2014 by jm
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