jm + funny   249

On the association between adolescent well-being and digital technology use
Lies, damn lies, and statistics. 'if we believe screens are destroying a generation [of kids] that would mean that so are potatoes, having asthma, not drinking milk, going to movies, music, religion, being tall, biking, and wearing glasses' [...]

'The take home from this new study is the evidence that smart phones are destroying a generation is not any stronger than potatoes and eyeglasses are destroying a generation. The moral panic surrounding the fear of screens is simply not supported by good science.'
potatoes  funny  glasses  asthma  milk  movies  music  religion  cycling  screens  screentime  kids  teenagers  wellbeing  mental-health 
7 days ago by jm
Rudy Giuliani doesn't understand how links work
As waxy noted: 'this might be funny if he wasn't Trump's cybersecurity advisor'.
Twitter allowed someone to invade my text with a disgusting anti-President message. The same thing-period no space-occurred later and it didn’t happen. Don’t tell me they are not committed cardcarrying anti-Trumpers. Time Magazine also may fit that description. FAIRNESS PLEASE

Giuliani composed a tweet with no spaces after full stops, and a broken regexp at Twitter auto-linkified "G-20.In". An internet prankster registered this domain and Giuliani lost his shit in a spectacular display of incompetence.

The best bit? Here's a thread with the original devs: -- 'Hey @tw and @bcherry, remember all the debates we had about the linkifying regex around edge cases like this?'

(via Waxy and pretty much everyone on twitter)
edge-cases  bugs  twitter  regexps  regular-expressions  links  urls  us-politics  trump  rudy-giuliani  security  funny 
7 weeks ago by jm
Party Parrot as a Service
Enter an image URL and it'll generate an animated GIF of the party parrot version
party-parrot  gifs  funny  slack  emojis 
7 weeks ago by jm
Specification gaming examples in AI
A good list of examples where machine learning systems "figure out" how to cheat their fitness function, e.g.:
'Creatures bred for speed grow really tall and generate high velocities by falling over'
ai  funny  humor  spreadsheets  machine-learning  ml  fitness-functions 
10 weeks ago by jm
People Think This Whole QAnon Conspiracy Theory Is A Prank On Trump Supporters
This, if true, is the most gloriously Discordian thing ever.
"Let us take for granted, for a while, that QAnon started as a prank in order to trigger right-wing weirdos and have a laugh at them. There's no doubt it has long become something very different. At a certain level it still sounds like a prank. But who's pulling it on whom?" they [Roberto Bui, Giovanni Cattabriga, and Federico Guglielmi] said.
q  conspiracy  politics  trump  qanon  luther-blissett  discordianism  wu-ming  funny  crazy 
august 2018 by jm
"Haskell is very simple"
niftierideology on twitter:
Haskell is very simple. Everything is composed of Functads which are themselves a Tormund of Gurmoids, usually defined over the Devons. All you have to do is stick one Devon inside a Tormund and it yields Reverse Functads (Actually Functoids) you use to generate Unbound Gurmoids.
haskell  functors  functads  tormund-of-gurmoids  jargon  funny  satire  coding  languages 
july 2018 by jm
Dickens invented "gammon" as a slur in 1838, in 'Nicholas Nickleby'
This is thoroughly brexiteering stuff:

The time had been, when this burst of enthusiasm would have been cheered to the very echo; but now, the deputation received it with chilling coldness. The general impression seemed to be, that as an explanation of Mr Gregsbury’s political conduct, it did not enter quite enough into detail; and one gentleman in the rear did not scruple to remark aloud, that, for his purpose, it savoured rather too much of a ‘gammon’ tendency.

‘The meaning of that term — gammon,’ said Mr Gregsbury, ‘is unknown to me. If it means that I grow a little too fervid, or perhaps even hyperbolical, in extolling my native land, I admit the full justice of the remark. I AM proud of this free and happy country. My form dilates, my eye glistens, my breast heaves, my heart swells, my bosom burns, when I call to mind her greatness and her glory.’
brexit  funny  gammon  charles-dickens  history  gb  politics  uk-politics  uk 
may 2018 by jm
I Am the One Woman Who Has It All | The New Yorker

I have two kids and the unspoken pressure to act like they don’t exist when I’m on a conference call.

I have no problem lying about “being in a meeting” when I’m with my kids and no problem lying to my kids about “needing to work” when I’m on Facebook.
parenting  funny  new-yorker  women  life  work  work-life-balance  kids 
may 2018 by jm
The Great Igloos of Storm Emma - YouTube
in a once-in-a-lifetime snowstorm, it appears the young Irish male's mind turns to (checks notes) building an igloo and having a party in it
igloos  funny  ireland  storm-emma  snow  wtf  humans-of-the-sesh 
march 2018 by jm
Git, complicated? Of course not! Commits map to isomorphic contours in source-code phase space
The inspiration for the classic tweet.
it’s simplest to think of the state of your repository as a point in a high-dimensional ‘code-space’,  in which branches are represented as n-dimensional membranes, mapping the spatial loci of successive commits onto the projected manifold of each cloned repository
git  incomprehensible  funny  jargon  topology  dvcs 
march 2018 by jm
[Changelog] Republic of Ireland Patch notes for version : ireland
Hello and welcome, I’m Leo Varadkar, lead developer of the MMO “Republic of Ireland”, which currently has 4,700,000+ players, and today we’ll be discussing changes coming eventually with the new patch.

-- genius
changelog  funny  mmo  gaming  ireland  patches  comedy 
february 2018 by jm
The 29 Stages Of A Twitterstorm In 2018
'14. Then suddenly there are Nazis everywhere.'
twitter  twitterstorms  funny  2018  nazis  alt-right  memes 
january 2018 by jm
Sarah Jeong's hilarious Twitter thread on Bitcoin
"People are sick of the Federal Reserve, sick of bailouts, sick of inflation. You know what we need? Internet money with the usability of PGP and the reliability of BART" and much, much more
bitcoin  funny  sarah-jeong  comedy  lols  pgp  twitter  threads 
january 2018 by jm
It's official, ADSL works over wet string
So, there you go, ADSL over 2m of literal "wet string". Well done all for testing this. It shows the importance of handling faults that seem to just be "low speed".
adsl  faults  hacks  funny  networking  dsl  telecoms 
december 2017 by jm
South Pole Ice Tunnels – Antarctica - Atlas Obscura
'One of the strangest of these monuments consists of the body of an atrophied White Sturgeon and a handwritten account of its journey. The fish had arrived in 1992 at McMurdo Station (a US base located at the edge of Antarctica and the Ross Sea) and had been destined for a remote Russian station called Vostok. However, the Russians gifted the sturgeon to American scientists who later discarded it after it had languished uneaten in a freezer for several months. It was from the trash dump that a garbage processing crew reclaimed the sturgeon, and it then made its way from location to location across Antarctica. It finally became enshrined in the tunnels beneath the South Pole where it greets visitors from a ledge chiseled in the ice.'
south-pole  pole  big-dead-place  shrines  funny  sturgeons  antarctica  amundsen-scott-station  mcmurdo  vostok 
december 2017 by jm
Meet the man who deactivated Trump’s Twitter account
His last day at Twitter was mostly uneventful, he says. There were many goodbyes, and he worked up until the last hour before his computer access was to be shut off. Near the end of his shift, the fateful alert came in. This is where Trump’s behavior intersects with Duysak’s work life. Someone reported Trump’s account on Duysak’s last day; as a final, throwaway gesture, he put the wheels in motion to deactivate it. Then he closed his computer and left the building.
twitter  trump  bahtiyar-duysak  abuse  reporting  funny 
november 2017 by jm
/tanˈspleɪn/ - verb informal - (of a British journalist or political type) explaining Irish history and politics to an Irish person, in a manner regarded as condescending, patronizing, and often incorrect.
politics  lols  funny  tansplaining  black-and-tans  history  uk  brexit  dictionary  neologisms 
november 2017 by jm
Inside The Great Poop Emoji Feud
PILE_OF_POO in the news!
The debate appears to be between some of Unicode’s most prolific contributors and typographers (Unicode was initially established to develop standards for translating alphabets into code that can be read across all computers and operating systems), and those in the consortium who focus primarily on the evolution of emojis. The two chief critics — Michael Everson and Andrew West, both typographers — say that the emoji proposal process has become too commercial and frivolous, thereby cheapening the Unicode Consortium’s long body of work.

Their argument centers around “Frowning Pile Of Poo,” one of the emojis under consideration for the June 2018 class. In an Oct. 22 memo to the Unicode Technical Committee, Everson tore into the committee over the submission calling it “damaging ... to the Unicode standard.”
pile-of-poo  emoji  funny  michael-everson  unicode  frowning-poo  poo  shit 
november 2017 by jm
AWS Service Terms
57.10 Acceptable Use; Safety-Critical Systems. Your use of the Lumberyard Materials must comply with the AWS Acceptable Use Policy. The Lumberyard Materials are not intended for use with life-critical or safety-critical systems, such as use in operation of medical equipment, automated transportation systems, autonomous vehicles, aircraft or air traffic control, nuclear facilities, manned spacecraft, or military use in connection with live combat. However, this restriction will not apply in the event of the occurrence (certified by the United States Centers for Disease Control or successor body) of a widespread viral infection transmitted via bites or contact with bodily fluids that causes human corpses to reanimate and seek to consume living human flesh, blood, brain or nerve tissue and is likely to result in the fall of organized civilization.

Seems fair enough.
aws  zombies  funny  t-and-cs  legal  civilization  just-in-case 
november 2017 by jm
the execution of James Connolly in cake form
As depicted in the Decobake 1916 commemorative cake competition. Amazing scenes of edible history
odd  funny  decobake  1916  history  ireland  republican  nationalism  james-connolly  executions  omgwtf  cake 
october 2017 by jm
"Use trees. Not too deep. Mostly ensembles."
snarky summary of 'Data-driven Advice for Applying Machine Learning to Bioinformatics Problems', a recent analysis paper of ML algorithms
algorithms  machine-learning  bioinformatics  funny  advice  classification 
september 2017 by jm
Even Racists Got the Blues
racist tries to make a "Blue Lives Matter" tee shirt as gaeilge, accidentally writes "Black Lives Matter" instead. perfect
racists  duh  stupid  translation  fail  daoine-gorme  irish  blm  cops  funny 
september 2017 by jm
Godwin repeals Godwin's Law
'By All Means, Compare These Shitheads to the Nazis'
mike-godwin  nazis  shitheads  funny  godwins-law  internet 
august 2017 by jm
terrible review for Solidity as a programming environment in HN
"Solidity/EVM is by far the worst programming environment I have ever encountered. It would be impossible to write even toy programs correctly in this language, yet it is literally called "Solidity" and used to program a financial system that manages hundreds of millions of dollars."

Via Tony Finch
blockchain  ethereum  programming  coding  via:fanf  funny  fail  floating-point  money  json  languages  bugs  reliability 
july 2017 by jm
Hyrum's Law
"With a sufficient number of users of an API, it doesn't matter what you promised in the contract, all observable behaviours of your interface will be depended upon by somebody."
laws  funny  apis  reliability  hyrum-wright  hyrums-law  compatibilty  interfaces 
july 2017 by jm
John Gallagher on Twitter: "Lot of misinformation about this today. For clarity: I live in Britain and mince on toast is served at every meal" posts comically misinformed video about some kind of imaginary brit comfort food. John Gallagher's response thread is a virtuoso performance
mince-on-toast  disgusting  food  funny  wtf  twitter 
july 2017 by jm
AI Movie Posters -
Neural-network generative movie posters. "What would you do to gave you?"
fun  generators  neural-networks  funny  movies  posters 
july 2017 by jm
welcome datacomp
Some Mac third party keyboards used to (or maybe still do for all I know) have a little feature where if you didn't type anything for a while they would themselves type 'welcome datacomp'.

(via RobS)
via:rsynnott  funny  welcome-datacomp  keyboards  hardware  fail  ghost-typing  haunted 
july 2017 by jm
The inventor of dynamic programming, had to hide the fact he was inventing it from the Secretary of Defense
"His face would suffuse, he would turn red, and he would get violent if people used the term "research" in his presence. You can imagine how he felt, then, about the term "mathematical". [....] I felt I had to do something to shield Wilson and the Air Force from the fact that I was really doing mathematics inside RAND"
rand  funny  history  insane  dr-strangelove  1950s  dynamic-programming  mathematics  algorithms 
june 2017 by jm
Nick Mathewson on Twitter
"Gaze not into the abyss, lest you become recognized as an abyss domain expert, and they expect you keep gazing into the damn thing."

Words to live by....
ffu  funny  the-abyss  life  work  experts  expertise  sme 
may 2017 by jm
Baby laughing hysterically at ripping paper [video]
classic Youtube unicorn chaser, saving for future use
unicorn-chaser  youtube  funny  babies  paper  videos  ffu 
may 2017 by jm
on Martin Fowler
mcfunley: 'I think at least 50% of my career has been either contributing to or unwinding one [Martin] Fowler-inspired disaster or another.'

See also: continuous deployment, polyglot programming, microservices

Relevant meme:
funny  quotes  architecture  architecture-astronauts  martin-fowler  cargo-cults  coding  design-patterns  enterprise  continuous-deployment  cd  polyglot-programming  microservices  experts 
april 2017 by jm
I Just Love This Juicero Story So Much
When we signed up to pump money into this juice company, it was because we thought drinking the juice would be a lot harder and more expensive. That was the selling point, because Silicon Valley is a stupid libertarian dystopia where investor-class vampires are the consumers and a regular person’s money is what they go shopping for. Easily opened bags of juice do not give these awful nightmare trash parasites a good bargain on the disposable income of credulous wellness-fad suckers; therefore easily opened bags of juice are a worse investment than bags of juice that are harder to open.
juicero  juicebros  techbros  silicon-valley  funny  dystopia  fruit  bags  juice 
april 2017 by jm
Fans of chess were outraged when the queen piece was added
"scacchi alla rabiosa" ("madwoman's chess") faced a backlash from 16th-century gamergaters
gamergate  funny  16th-century  history  chess  gaming  games  queen 
april 2017 by jm
The Centennial Society's business reply pamphlet | Stop Junk Mail
The classic "office riot" pamphlet...

'The Centennial Society, a radical anti-consumerist movement, has come up with a more arty way of returning junk mail. Pre-paid envelopes can be used to send people working in the junk mail industry information about how to break free. No junk mailer really likes his job; wasting tonnes and tonnes of paper on useless advertisements makes few people feel good about themselves. The Business Reply Pamphlet shows them the way to freedom.'
riot  offices  junk-mail  funny  art  centennial-society  ads  trash-the-gaff 
april 2017 by jm
Monk Gloats Over Yoga Championship - The Onion
One of the Onion's all-time classics. Still eminently quotable.

LHASA, TIBET—Employing the brash style that first brought him to prominence, Sri Dhananjai Bikram won the fifth annual International Yogi Competition yesterday with a world-record point total of 873.6. “I am the serenest!” Bikram shouted to the estimated crowd of 20,000 yoga fans, vigorously pumping his fists. “No one is serener than Sri Dhananjai Bikram—I am the greatest monk of all time!”
funny  onion  satire  humour  yoga  serene  serenest 
april 2017 by jm
The criminal exploits of "Prawo Jazdy"
Excellent policing folklore here....

'Eventually a letter was sent to the Polish embassy to ask for the Polish government's assistance in bringing this rogue motorist to justice.
Their reply was as swift as it was courteous. It said "Prawo Jazdy is Polish for driver's license".'
gardai  policing  ireland  polish  driving  safety  road-safety  funny  anecdotes 
march 2017 by jm
When the Children Crashed Dad’s BBC Interview: The Family Speaks - WSJ
Mr. Kelly describes his reaction as a mixture of surprise, embarrassment and amusement but also love and affection. The couple says they weren’t mad and didn’t scold the children. “I mean it was terribly cute,” Mr. Kelly said. “I saw the video like everybody else. My wife did a great job cleaning up a really unanticipated situation as best she possibly could... It was funny. If you watch the tape I was sort of struggling to keep my own laughs down. They’re little kids and that’s how things are.” “Yes I was mortified, but I also want my kids to feel comfortable coming to me,” Mr. Kelly said.

cute  family  bbc  interviews  funny  viral  kids  hippity-hoppity  robert-kelly 
march 2017 by jm
Why Aren’t Baby Boomers Eating Pho? – Medium
'Their decidedly un-hygge reluctance to partake in comforting, clear-brothed Vietnamese soups most likely stems from the generation’s reckless spending habits — many bought homes in their early 20’s. Some even claim they have owned upwards of seven cars over the course of their lifetimes. Unbelievably, many have never ridden a bicycle post-childhood.'
boomers  funny  jokes  pho  soup  news  lifestyle  age 
february 2017 by jm
Sanrio Introduces Rage-Filled Red Panda Character Aggretsuko
If you’ve always loved Hello Kitty but wish she also came with a deep well of rage, Sanrio has introduced just the character for you: Aggretsuko. An adorable 25-year-old red panda who works as an office associate, Aggretsuko is constantly taken advantage of and bothered by her boss and co-workers. So she deals with it by pounding beers and screaming death-metal karaoke.
sanrio  hello-kitty  aggretsuko  funny  japan  anger  rage  death-metal  karaoke 
january 2017 by jm
"Solving Imaginary Scaling Issues At Scale — Getting the wrong idea from that conference talk you attended"
Amazing virtuoso performance:

Chapter 1: Databases with cool-sounding names.
Chapter 2: using BitTorrent for everything.
Chapter 3: forget Torrents. Use the blockchain for everything.
Chapter 4: sharding the database before adding any indexes.
Chapter 5: upgrading to faster processors without checking if you're limited by disk I/O.
Chapter 6: rewriting APIs in C for speed without compressing data on the wire.
Chapter 7: putting large blobs of binary data into SQL databases for fun and profit.
Chapter 8: using protobufs to poll 300 times per second.
Chapter 9: diagnose scaling issues by grepping 10 lines of code and guessing.
Chapter 10: putting Varnish in front of everything just in case.
Chapter 11: buying boxes with gigantic amounts of RAM.
Chapter 12: realizing your HAProxy box is still a micro instance.
Chapter 13: rewriting 3 of 10 features in Go and declaring victory.
Chapter 14: split everything into 35 microservices all maintained by 1 person.
Chapter 15: 300% performance boosts by deleting data validity checks.
Chapter 16: minifying the JS of your O(n^3) to-do list.
Chapter 17: Fuck It, Let's Try Erlang.
Chapter 18: Blaming Everything On The Last Person To Quit.
Chapter 19: A Bloom Filter Will Definitely Fix This.
Chapter 20: Move all client-side processing to the server and/or vice-versa.
Chapter 21: Putting A Node.js Proxy In Front Of Our COBOL Backend Will Definitely Improve Matters.
Chapter 22: A Type-Checked Transpilation Step Will Surely Speed Things Up.
Chapter 23: Writing A New Language Almost The Same As Your Old Language But Faster (guest chapter by Facebook).
Chapter 24: Replacing an SQL DB with a NoSQL DB then implementing SQL in your ORM.
Chapter 25: Migrating From Bare Metal To The Cloud Or Vice-Versa, Whichever You're Not Currently Doing.
Chapter 26: Putting everything behind a CDN except the slow, complicated parts.
Chapter 27: Applying distributed map-reduce to less than 1 gigabyte of data.
Chapter 28: Running exactly the same software, but in Docker.
Chapter 29: Machine learning: how it will magically fix your crappy code.
Chapter 30: Blaming your package manager for slow run-time performance.
Chapter 31: Moving processing from the CPU to the GPU without changing the algorithm.
Chapter 32: Switching To Heroku Or Away From Heroku Or A Hybrid Heroku-AWS model, whichever sounds the most fun.
Chapter 33: Loading all your dependencies from somebody else's github repo.
Chapter 34: optimizing your PNGs while hosting 300MB video ads.
Chapter 35: hosting your database in memory and your images on S3.
scalability  funny  lol  twitter  oreilly 
november 2016 by jm
DST breaks everything
LOL as DST bug uncovers spurious automated noise complaints:
In January last year the airport unearthed a scheme whereby campaigners were using automated software to generate complaints against the airport. Officials caught out the set-up when the two anti-Heathrow enthusiasts forgot to take into account the hour going back in October, and began complaining about flights that had not yet taken off or arrived.
bugs  dst  daylight-savings-time  funny  heathrow  complaints  automation  noise 
november 2016 by jm
Anti-Brexit traitors outed on twitter
oh god this is funny. Louise Mensch and various UKIPpers fall for transparent pisstake involving "taking Article 50 out of the ring binder and shredding it. It now goes straight from 49 to 51" etc.
twitter  louise-mensch  funny  idiots  fail  brexit  ukip 
october 2016 by jm
Sean O'Dowd on Twitter: "damn someone at apple needs a hug"
stack trace leads with a symbol called "_thereIsNoSadnessLikeTheDeathOfOptimism"
stack-traces  apple  funny  lol  optimism  naming 
october 2016 by jm
Mt. Gox had a chair worth $28,000
According to the bankruptcy documents, one of the assets listed is 'a chair worth 2,902,119JPY, or roughly $28,000USD.'
chairs  funny  mtgox  scams  bitcoin  furniture  assets  bankruptcy 
october 2016 by jm
Ludicrous Patent of the Week: Rectangles on a computer screen
"Chinese internet giant Tencent" have been granted a USPTO patent for drawing a box on a screen.
boxes  screen  tencent  patents  uspto  funny  absurd  swpats  via:markdennehy 
october 2016 by jm
Artist Tricks Tourists With Elaborate Monument To Staten Island Ferry Octopus Attack
'You probably don't know much about the Staten Island Ferry Disaster Memorial Museum, which honors the 400 victims who died when a giant octopus attacked the Cornelius G. Kolff, a Staten Island Ferry boat, on Nov. 22, 1963. That isn't because the event was overshadowed by the assassination of JFK that same day—it's because, as you may have guessed based on the word "tricks" in the headline, there was no such octopus-induced tragedy.'
ferries  staten-island  octopi  funny  pranks  tourism 
september 2016 by jm
"Dr Conan T. Barbarian" expelled from the TCD School of English staff directory
The profile went on to say Dr Barbarian completed his PhD, entitled ‘To Hear The Lamentation of Their Women: Constructions of Masculinity in Contemporary Zamoran Literature’ at UCD and was appointed to the School of English in 2006, “after sucessfully decapitating his predecessor during a bloody battle which will long be remembered in legend and song”. “In 2011/12, he will be teaching on the following courses: ‘The Relevance of Crom in the Modern World’, ‘Theories of Literature’, ‘Vengeance for Beginners’, ‘Deciphering the Riddle of Steel’ and ‘D.H. Lawrence’.
tcd  funny  conan  staff  pranks 
september 2016 by jm
Fuck Your Noguchi Coffee Table
"fuck your bookshelf with all of the spines facing in"
funny  fuck-this  noguchi  coffee-tables  furniture  design 
september 2016 by jm
'aw yiss comic generator'. AW YISS
aw-yiss  memes  meme-generators  funny  kate-beaton 
august 2016 by jm
Exit Scam Survival Guide : Buttcoin
Bitcoin lols:
Honesty is most important. Be sure to carefully explain that (excluding the mountain of evidence to the contrary) there was no way to foresee the [Bitcoin] exchange hacking. Practice phrases like, "this operation was the most trustworthy exchange running out of a vacant building in Singapore" and "no we can't just call the exchange, they don't have a phone number". If your significant other criticizes your decision to buy cryptocurrencies, be sure to fall back on technical merits of cryptocurrencies. Mention, "it's backed by math" and "[insert cryptocurrency here] didn't fail, people failed".
bitcoin  buttcoin  lol  funny  cryptocurrency  security  exchanges 
august 2016 by jm
Frankly Useless Crank “Knowledge,” Only For Fools
A wonderfully-sweary post on the etymology of swear words, and how they're not derived from acronyms, really.
shit? Also from an old Germanic root, descended equally to modern German Scheiss (which sounds closer to Scots shite). It shows up in Old English, fully inflected: “Wiþ þon þe men mete untela melte & gecirre on yfele wætan & scittan” (that scittan is an infinitive form of ‘shit’ and was said like “shit-tan”). I can assure you that an acronym Ship High In Transit – supposedly meaning that manure was to be loaded in the upper parts of ships – was not possible in the language in the Old English period, not just because transit was not borrowed from Latin until half a millennium later, or because they didn’t use acronyms like that then, but because what the fuck are you even thinking. They didn’t need to ship manure. Animals produce it on the spot everywhere. Holy shit, fucking seriously.
shit  funny  words  etymology  acronyms 
july 2016 by jm
Violet Club
eye-poppingly bizarre half-assed safety features of the 1950s -- a megaton nuclear weapon rendered safe from accidental criticality accidents only by a plastic bag full of ball bearings
nuclear-weapons  nukes  safety  1950s  uk  funny  bizarre  violet-club  ball-bearings  via:cstross 
july 2016 by jm
The Apollo 11 AGC source code was uploaded to Github, and someone opened an issue
For the famous Apollo 13 near-fatal failure scenario:
'A customer has had a fairly serious problem with stirring the cryogenic tanks with a circuit fault present. To reproduce:

Build CSM;
Perform mission up to translunar coast;
During translunar coast, attempt to stir cryo tanks

If a wiring fault exists, the issue may be replicated. Be aware that this may be hazardous to the tester attempting it.'

Sample response: 'Does it happens only with translunar coast (sol-3-a), or any moon coasting? It may be a problem with the moon. Just trying to narrow down the issue.'
lol  funny  apollo  apollo-11  apollo-13  agc  history  space  github 
july 2016 by jm
The Dutch word for "nitpicker" is significantly more sweary
via James Kelleher on Twitter: "‘Mierenneuker’ — Dutch slang for someone who pays (too much) attention to detail, literally ‘ant-fucker’."; and in German, 'Korinthenkacker', "raisin-shitter".
raisins  funny  words  ants  dutch  german  language  nit-picking  perfectionism 
may 2016 by jm
A poem about Silicon Valley, made up of Quora questions about Silicon Valley

Why do so many startups fail?
Why are all the hosts on CouchSurfing male?
Are we going to be tweeting for the rest of our lives?
Why do Silicon Valley billionaires choose average-looking wives?

What makes a startup ecosystem thrive?
What do people plan to do once they’re over 35?
Is an income of $160K enough to survive?
What kind of car does Mark Zuckerberg drive?

Are the real estate prices in Palo Alto crazy?
Do welfare programs make poor people lazy?
What are some of the biggest lies ever told?
How do I explain Bitcoin to a 6-year-old?

Why is Powdered Alcohol not successful so far?
How does UberX handle vomiting in the car?
Is being worth $10 million considered ‘rich’?
What can be causing my upper lip to twitch?

Why has crowdfunding not worked for me?
Is it worth pre-ordering a Tesla Model 3?
How is Clinkle different from Venmo and Square?
Can karma, sometimes, be unfair?

Why are successful entrepreneurs stereotypically jerks?
Which Silicon Valley company has the best intern perks?
What looks easy until you actually try it?
How did your excretions change under a full Soylent diet?

What are alternatives to online dating?
Is living in small apartments debilitating?
Why don’t more entrepreneurs focus on solving world hunger?
What do you regret not doing when you were younger?
funny  tech  poetry  silicon-valley  humour  bitcoin  soylent  2016 
april 2016 by jm
Donald Rumsfeld wrote the best memo ever: "Issues w/Various Countries"
Paraphrasing: "I have made a massive mess of US foreign policy and the whole world is falling apart. Have you fixed it for me yet?"

Right in the middle of the biggest Middle Eastern shitstorm ever created, April 7, 2003. Heck of a job, Rummie
donald-rumsfeld  inept  gobshites  korea  pakistan  issues  world-politics  funny  facepalm  george-w-bush  iraq  syria  libya  amazing 
april 2016 by jm
3d Printing Is Not For You
I would only recommend 3d printing to someone who wanted a hobby, and wanted that hobby to be 3d printing, not "having parts made on a 3d printer". The printing itself is the activity. If you have any other primary motivation your parts will fail more often than they'll succeed.

(via burritojustice)
via:burritojustice  3d-printing  machines  parts  things  hobbies  open-source  funny 
april 2016 by jm
'Devastating' bug pops secure doors at airports, hospitals
"A command injection vulnerability exists in this function due to a lack of any sanitisation on the user-supplied input that is fed to the system() call," Lawshae says.

security  iot  funny  fail  linux  unix  backticks  system  udp  hid  vertx  edge 
april 2016 by jm
CNBC "How Secure Is Your Password" tester form is a spectacular security shitshow
It not only runs over HTTP, it also sends your password to a bunch of third-party ad trackers. omgwtfbbqfail
fail  wtf  funny  cnbc  clowns  inept  security  passwords  http  ad-trackers 
march 2016 by jm
Microsoft terminates its Tay AI chatbot after she turns into a Nazi
'if you tell her "repeat after me" she will parrot back whatever you say, allowing you to put words into her mouth.'

what. the. fuck. Microsoft.
omgwtfbbq  4chan  funny  microsoft  fail  tay 
march 2016 by jm
Cronenberg Valentines
Valentine's Day cards for you and yours, from one of cinema's true visionaries. How do you communicate the depth of your desire? Say it with Cronenberg Valentines.
david-cronenberg  horror  gross  naked-lunch  movies  valentines-day  funny 
february 2016 by jm
Semisupervised Intern Descent
Also known as "Graduate Student Descent", a common approach to hyperparameter tuning in machine learning -- ie. get an intern to sit there tweaking parameters until they find something approximating optimal performance
optimization  funny  terms  terminology  graduate-student-descent  hyperparameters  semisupervised-intern-descent  tuning  interns 
february 2016 by jm
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