jerryking + mybestlife   16

The winner’s wisdom of Silicon Valley Stoics
TheGoat 2 days ago
Having just spent the last four years enjoying a spot of multiple-near-death-by-cancer life jokes from the almighty, here is my advice: enjoy every second to the fullest, life i...
advice  arduous  exercise  food  friendships  letters_to_the_editor  mybestlife  relationships  Stoics  from notes
june 2019 by jerryking
Always seek out novelty — even at home
April 26, 2019 | Financial Times | by Tim Harford.

* The search for new experiences should not just be for our holidays.
* Japan: 10 days in a far-off land produces a richer treasury of detailed memories than 10 weeks back home. But why?
* Actively searching for new experiences --whether on holiday abroad or within your daily routine at home!!
* Novelty isn't just about mental stimulation. It also exposes you to opportunity.....Variation also reshapes the mental categorisation of experiences, so that freshness can be found within routine activities.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
While on an adventurous holiday, many people experience that strange sense of time having slowed down in the most pleasurable way, and of conversations that begin, “Was it really only yesterday that we . . . ?”

Ten days in a far-off land produces a richer treasury of detailed memories than 10 weeks back home. But what is behind this phenomenon?

Claude Shannon,in 1948, published one of his two profound contributions, A Mathematical Theory of Communication,.....a message can be compressed to the extent that it is predictable. ....(e.g. Ritualised conversations (“How are you?” “Very well, thank you. How are you?”) can be heavily compressed.....A movie can be compressed because, between cuts, each frame tends to resemble the previous one....Although the parallel is not exact, much the same thing seems to be going on with our memories of life. The brain is not a video recorder; we recall the gist. Sometimes the gist is very brief. If I get up in the morning at the usual time, eat my customary breakfast and catch my usual train to the office, why should my brain trouble itself to remember this day two weeks after the fact? The diffs are barely worth bothering with. In contrast, fresh experiences defy compression: the diffs are too big........Brian Christian, author of The Most Human Human, a book about conversations between humans and computers, speculates that if we’re seeking advice we should ask the person of whose answer we are least certain. If we want to understand a person, we should ask them the question to which we are least sure of their answer.
algorithms  compression  creativity  creative_renewal  economists  experience_economy  fresh_eyes  habits  holidays  insta-bae  Japan  mybestlife  novelty  non-routine  Slow_Movement  Tim_Harford  travel  unpredictability  vacations 
april 2019 by jerryking
Opinion | Luke Perry Had a Stroke and Died. I Had One and Lived.
March 5, 2019 | The New York Times | By Kara Swisher, Contributing Opinion Writer.

Kara Swisher was 49 years old, healthy and had none of the conditions--symptoms--like high blood pressure that might predict a stroke...yet she had one after arriving in Hong Kong after a long flight...not hydrating or walking around enough on the long flight to Hong Kong, created what the doctor, who immediately started the treatment of anticoagulant drugs and others, called a “hole in one.”.....The idea of death — the absolute nearness of it — has been ever-present for Kara Swisher. Since her dad died, she's lived her life as if she had no time at all or very little, making the kinds of choices of someone who knew that tomorrow might indeed be her last.

[Stanford University in 2005 by the Apple founder and tech visionary Steve Jobs:

For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been no for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.]

.....Sometimes {Steve Jobs'] urgency manifested itself in inspiration, sometimes in meanness, sometimes in humor, sometimes in seriousness. But it was always urgent.......[recast in my words...I have both the privilege to live more days on earth and the awareness that those days are limited.

Be tough-minded going forward--Basically, I don’t have the time to be so careless in what I do and I don’t have the time to not to ask the same of you.].........You get this kind of nudge again and again from death. It is, as the Buddhist teacher Frank Ostaseski noted, “a secret teacher hiding in plain sight.” Luke Perry’s death was yet another lesson from that teacher. ....... Mr. Perry’s Dylan McKay, who was given to saying things like, “The only person you can trust in this world is yourself.”
'90s  actors  hydration  Kara_Swisher  Luke_Perry  midlife  mini-stroke  mybestlife  op-ed  tips  speeches  Stanford  Steve_Jobs  strokes  symptoms  television  travel  It's_up_to_me  urgency  long-haul  deaths 
march 2019 by jerryking
Rules for Modern Living From the Ancient Stoics -
May 25, 2017 | WSJ | By Massimo Pigliucci.

Stoicism is practical and humane, and it has plenty to teach us. The philosophy may have been developed around 300 B.C. by Zeno of Cyprus, but it is increasingly relevant today, as evidenced by the popularity of events such as Stoicon, an international conference set to hold its fourth annual gathering in Toronto this October.

The Stoics had centuries to think deeply about how to live, and they developed a potent set of exercises to help us navigate our existence, appreciating the good while handling the bad. These techniques have stood the test of time over two millennia. Here are five of my favorites.

(1) Learn to separate what is and isn’t in your power. This lets you approach everything with equanimity and tranquility of mind. ...Understand and internalize the difference, and you will be happier with your efforts, regardless of the outcome.

(2) Contemplate the broader picture. Looking from time to time at what the Stoics called “the view from above” will help you to put things in perspective and sometimes even let you laugh away troubles that are not worth worrying about. The Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius made a note of this in his famous personal diary, “The Meditations”: “Altogether the interval is small between birth and death; and consider with how much trouble, and in company with what sort of people and in what a feeble body, this interval is laboriously passed.”

(3) Think in advance about challenges you may face during the day. A prepared mind may make all the difference between success and disaster.

(4) Be mindful of the here and now (i.e. living in the moment). The past is no longer under your control: Let it go. The future will come eventually, but the best way to prepare for it is to act where and when you are most effective—right here, right now.

(5) Before going to bed, write in a personal philosophical diary. This exercise will help you to learn from your experiences—and forgive yourself for your mistakes.

Stoicism was meant to be a practical philosophy. It isn’t about suppressing emotions or stalking through life with a stiff upper lip. It is about adjusting your responses to what happens, enduring what must be endured and enjoying what can be enjoyed.
Stoics  philosophy  Romans  journaling  self-discipline  mindfulness  span_of_control  mybestlife  preparation  beforemath  sense_of_proportion  the_big_picture  anticipating  contextual  forward_looking  foresight  GTD  perspectives  affirmations  beyond_one's_control  chance  living_in_the_moment  Greek  personal_control 
june 2017 by jerryking
One Habit to Make You Happier Today - WSJ
By Elizabeth Bernstein
May 8, 2017
..... “QTL” (which stands for “Quality Time Left”) in difficult times, including when his wife was terminally ill last year, to remind himself not to waste time thinking about the negative and to focus on what makes him happy. Kathlene Carney, 55, a publicist in Point Richmond, Calif., begins repeating “good things always happen to me and good things always happen through me” as soon she feels a downward cycle of negative thinking coming on....How can you choose the best mantra for you? Not just any clichéd motto—“Just do it!”—will do.

Picture yourself older and wiser. Now think about what advice this evolved version of yourself would most want to give you right now to make your life better. Write it down. And distill it into single word, phrase or short sentence. “Make sure that it rings true for you, that it makes you feel good, empowered, reassured, and hopeful,”

Choose several. ‘Having one mantra can become monotonous or routine and it can lose its meaning,” But don’t have so many mantras that you have to struggle to recall them.

Keep it short. It needs to be easy to remember.

Make sure it is positive. But not unbelievable. “If it’s too positive, it can feel hokey—‘I’m good enough, smart enough and people like me,’” For example, telling yourself all is well when it clearly isn’t may not help. “Mantras that help build a healthy brain long-term are based in truth, logic and helpfulness,”

Trigger your mantra. Practice thinking about what’s bothering you and then saying your mantra. This will train your brain to call up the word or phrase as a habit when you are stressed.

Picture your new neural pathways.
affirmations  Elizabeth_Bernstein  habits  inspiration  mantras  mybestlife  negativity_bias  positive_thinking 
may 2017 by jerryking
Looking Death in the Face -
DEC. 26, 2016 | The New York Times | by John Kaag and Clancy Martin.

Shelley’s poem, “Ozymandias,”, tells us, nothing remains of this pharaoh's works or of him, despite his status as the king of kings. All that remains is sand.

The poem’s message is perennial: All of this will be over soon, faster than you think. Fame has a shadow — inevitable decline. The year 2016 has delivered a string of deaths that serve as bracing reminders of this inevitability: Prince, Nancy Reagan, David Bowie, Elie Wiesel, Bill Cunningham, Muhammad Ali, Gordie Howe, Merle Haggard, Patty Duke, John Glenn....The year’s end is a time to take account of kingdoms built, but also the sheer rapidity of their destruction. It is a chance to come to terms with the existential fragility that is overlooked in most of our waking hours and that must be faced even by the greatest among us....the scariest thing about death: coming to die only to discover, in Thoreau’s words, that we haven’t lived....Dying, of course, corresponds exactly with what we prefer to call living. This is what Samuel Beckett meant when he observed that we “give birth astride the grave.” It is an existential realization that may seem to be the province of the very sick or very old. The elderly get to watch the young and oblivious squander their days, time that they now recognize as incredibly precious....The trick to dying for something is picking the right something, day after week after precious year. And this is incredibly hard and decidedly not inevitable....
dying  howto  Egyptian_Empire  history  worthiness  discernment  overlooked  perennial  timeless  poems  decline  mybestlife  deaths 
december 2016 by jerryking
9 Affirmations the Most Successful People Repeat Each and Every Day | Inc.com
1. "I treat others the way they want to be treated."
2. "I am ever grateful." Gratitude allows happiness to come into my life. I define and talk about the things I am grateful for on a daily basis. I know that the No. 1 way for me to be happy is to choose to be grateful.
3. "I am accountable." I am reliable. I am responsible. I never blame others. I never make excuses. I take ownership of my successes as well as my mistakes. I know that my own performance is a direct result of what I think and the actions I take.
4. "I believe in myself." When I fail, I learn. My failures are temporary because my perseverance is permanent. I push forward at all times because I know I can succeed. As I continually believe in myself, my confidence increases.
5. "I have high standards." I do not let mediocrity enter my life. I am honest. I do not apologize for striving for excellence. My quality of life is a reflection of my high standards. By living up to my personal high standards, my confidence increases.
6. "I follow my heart." Time is precious, and everyone has something that they are passionate about. (jk: mybestlife) The cost of not following my heart is too great, I am going to live life with no regrets. As I follow my heart, my confidence increases.
7. "I trust my gut." I value my intuition, since it is based on my subconscious mind and conscious mind working in harmony. I know what is true, and I know what I want to be true. I trust my gut feelings, my inner voice. As I trust myself, my confidence increases.
8. "I am resilient." I have overcome many challenges and will overcome many more. The times that are the toughest are the times I learn the most. I never back down. I work hard and I push through. As I act in a resilient manner, my confidence increases.
9. "I help people." I matter because I make a difference. While I may get tired, I am not weary. I share myself and love to serve. By making a difference, my confidence increases.

If we tell ourselves our personal truth enough, it manifests into reality. Our reality and our actions will always match the story we believe.
affirmations  Jeff_Haden  mybestlife  gratitude  accountability  resilience  mediocrity  high-standards  next_play  gut_feelings  serving_others  passions  no_regrets  inner-directed  it's_up_to_me 
april 2016 by jerryking
Ari Emanuel's WME-IMG Merger: The Possible Financial Troubles
March 2015 | | Vanity Fair | BY WILLIAM D. COHAN.

“Take advantage of each day that's given to you, and do something to move the needle on your business, even if it's just an inch. You've heard it before, but life is not a dress rehearsal. Don't waste your time (or mine).”....In 2009, Emanuel decided to take another big risk. “Nobody fucks up like I do,” he once wrote, “but you'll never succeed unless you take big risks. Big ones.”......“There's nobody more important when it comes to television packaging than Ari and Rick Rosen [WME's television chief],” says entertainment mogul David Geffen. “There's nobody who does it better. For instance, Steven Spielberg was at CAA for decades, and they did nothing for him in television, and he goes with Ari, and he has had seven or eight shows on the air. That's about accomplishment, not about bullshit.”........Over the next decade Forstmann transformed IMG into an international production-and-packaging powerhouse. The expanding business cut profitable deals with more than 200 American college and university sports teams, as well as with Indian Premier League cricket, Wimbledon, the Australian and U.S. Open tennis tournaments, tennis tournaments in Spain and Malaysia, and Barclays Premier League soccer. It ran Fashion Week in New York, Milan, and London, and in China it formed an exclusive joint venture with the national television network to create sports programming—all this in addition to representing such sports stars as Novak Djokovic, Maria Sharapova, and Venus Williams. It also signed up an array of fashion designers and models, including Michael Kors, Diane von Furstenberg, Gisele Bündchen, and Kate Moss.
Ari_Emanuel  mybestlife  talent_management  mergers_&_acquisitions  entertainment_industry  chutzpah  Hollywood  overachievers  Ted_Forstmann  talent_representation  dealmakers  packaging  Silver_Lake  affirmations  idea_generation  creating_valuable_content  hard_work  performance  strivers  sports  fashion  superstars  risk-taking  William_Cohan  James_Baldwin  personal_accomplishments 
march 2015 by jerryking
Best Books on Making the Most of Later Life - WSJ
By DIANE COLE
Nov. 30, 2014

Classic Thinking
More than 2,000 years have passed since Cicero, the Roman philosopher and statesman, wrote his essay “On Old Age.” Today, his advice to embrace later life sounds refreshingly contemporary in retired classics professor Richard Gerberding’s clever adaptation, “How To Be Old: The Thinking Person’s Guide to Retirement.”

Cicero’s ideas—based on his belief that “the best weapons against old age are your inner qualities, those virtues which you have cultivated at every stage of your lives”—remain intact. But Mr. Gerberding makes them more accessible by replacing Cicero’s references to ancient Greek and Roman statesmen with modern figures like William Fulbright, Ronald Reagan and John Kennedy.

“Someone who doesn’t have much in the way of inner resources will find all stages of life irksome,” Cicero wrote. That’s advice for the ages, whatever your age.
advice  aging  books  Cicero  Greek  inner_strengths  longevity  mybestlife  retirement  Romans  stages_of_life  thinking  timeless  virtues 
december 2014 by jerryking
Ladies, it’s time to age gratefully - The Globe and Mail
HEATHER SANDERS
Contributed to The Globe and Mail
Published Tuesday, Aug. 26 2014,

my message to my girlfriends in their 20s: You are beautiful. You have that glow of youth that is the envy of those decades older. You may look in the mirror and see imaginary “flaws,” but you are perfect, you are young. Enjoy it to the fullest and don’t give it a second thought. Nurture your soul and spirit, and be that beautiful woman from the inside out.

To my older women friends: You’ve come this far, building a life, a home, a family and friends. They don’t give a flying care that you weigh a few extra pounds, that your eyes crinkle when you smile (they find it endearing), that in those old photos you wore a size 6 that barely covered your bum. Those times are done. We don’t need you to be thin and pretty: We need you to be our good friends and mentors on this journey. The real beauty of you right now is the friendship and good times you share with us.

And to my fortysomething self: Suck it up, buttercup. You’re not 20 any more and you’re not 50 yet.

Women need to learn to be happy with themselves at any age. Use the potions and creams if you want, but get exercise and use sunscreen, too. Don’t put such importance on the fleeting physicality of life. As my 73-year-old mother would say, “Enjoy every good day.” Invest your energy in the important things – learning and experiences that keep the mind young. Be thankful you had a chance to be young and pretty.

Remember you are still a work in progress – at the end of the day, at the end of this life, it’s what you did that mattered, not how you looked doing it.
aging  women  gratitude  grace  sense_of_proportion  friendships  exercise  fitness  personal_accomplishments  mybestlife  superficiality  ephemeral  inside_out 
august 2014 by jerryking
Why you need to build your legacy now
Dec. 24 2013 | The Globe and Mail | JESSICA LEIGH JOHNSTON

“Are you on this planet to do something, or are you here for something to do?" --after some thinking, they understand that the answer is to do something. Then we say, “If you’re here to do something, what is it?”
the legacy you leave is the life you lead: it’s what you are doing right now that determines how you will be remembered. Thinking of ‘life’ as an acronym is a helpful guideline for thinking about legacy:

· What are the Lessons that you want people to say you taught them?

· What are the Ideals you hope people will say that you stood for?

· What are the Feelings you hope people will say they had when you were around them?

· What are the tangible Expressions of your leadership? Not just your accomplishments, but the things you might have contributed. Maybe you worked every Saturday for 25 years for Habitat for Humanity, or you were active in the community as a volunteer for sports. What are some of those tangible achievements?

We find this framework useful for people to reflect on legacy, and to come back to it periodically and ask themselves, “Is there anything more I want to add, and am I living my life in harmony with these guidelines?”

"What is the best way to learn something?” And I thought I had the learned the answer to that question, and said confidently: “The best way to learn something is to experience it yourself.” Fred turned to me and he said, “No, Jim, the best way to learn something is to teach it to someone else.”
legacies  leadership  JCK  life_skills  teaching  serving_others  values  affirmations  mybestlife 
december 2013 by jerryking
10 Things They Don't Tell You at Graduation - WSJ.com
April 27, 2012 | WSJ | By CHARLES WHEELAN.

10 Things Your Commencement Speaker Won't Tell You

April 27, 2012 | WSJ | By CHARLES WHEELAN.

10 Things Your Commencement Speaker Won't Tell You

1. Your time in fraternity basements was well spent. The same goes for the time you spent playing intramural sports, working on the school newspaper or just hanging with friends. ...One of the most important causal factors associated with happiness and well-being is your meaningful connections with other human beings....think "friendships.

2. Some of your worst days lie ahead. Graduation is a happy day. But my job is to tell you that if you are going to do anything worthwhile, you will face periods of grinding self-doubt and failure. Be prepared to work through them. ... no one can afford to retire.

3. Don't make the world worse. .... don't use your prodigious talents to mess things up.

4. Marry up

5. Help stop the Little League arms race. Kids' sports are becoming ridiculously structured and competitive. What happened to playing baseball because it's fun? We are systematically creating races out of things that ought to be a journey. We know that success isn't about simply running faster than everyone else in some predetermined direction.

6. Read obituaries. They are just like biographies, only shorter. They remind us that interesting, successful people rarely lead orderly, linear lives.

7. Your parents don't want what is best for you. They want what is good for you, which isn't always the same thing. There is a natural instinct to protect our children from risk and discomfort, and therefore to urge safe choices. Theodore Roosevelt—soldier, explorer, president—once remarked, "It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed."

8. Don't model your life after a circus animal. Performing animals do tricks because their trainers throw them peanuts or small fish for doing so. You should aspire to do better. You will be a friend, a parent, a coach, an employee—and so on. But only in your job will you be explicitly evaluated and rewarded for your performance. Don't let your life decisions be distorted by the fact that your boss is the only one tossing you peanuts. ...

9. It's all borrowed time. Take nothing for granted, not even tomorrow. ....the "hit by a bus" rule. Would I regret spending my life this way if I were to get hit by a bus next week or next year? And the important corollary: Does this path lead to a life I will be happy with and proud of in 10 or 20 years if I don't get hit by a bus.

10. Don't try to be great. Being great involves luck and other circumstances beyond your control. The less you think about being great, the more likely it is to happen. And if it doesn't, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being solid.
commencement  Colleges_&_Universities  good_enough  public_speaking  speeches  Communicating_&_Connecting  new_graduates  self-doubt  failure  risk-taking  discomforts  marriage  obituaries  Theodore_Roosevelt  happiness  friendships  arms_race  personal_connections  advice  affirmations  beyond_one's_control  luck  mybestlife 
april 2012 by jerryking
Recovering From a Late Setback - WSJ.com
May 27, 2003 | WSJ | By JOANN S. LUBLIN

The well-publicized announcement made it impossible for Mr. White to mourn in private. But the coverage started him on the road to recovery by bringing him advice from his wide personal and professional network. "There is important work in the world for a person of your ability and integrity," wrote Fred Alger, founder and CEO of Fred Alger Management. Mr. White has been a trustee for some of the New York money-management firm's funds since 1999...Mr. White decided not to blame others for his turndown nor let the episode diminish him in any way.

He demonstrated his resolve by trying to arrange a flawless transition. Among other things, he prepared extensive background materials, then briefed Ms. Coleman face-to-face in Iowa.

Mr. White brought his inner turmoil to a cathartic conclusion during a campus dinner to honor his interim leadership in July 2002. University regents and senior officials expected perfunctory remarks. Sensing a "teachable" moment, the veteran professor instead spoke candidly about his loss to an already uneasy crowd.

"It's no secret to anyone in this room that I'm disappointed not to be able to serve the university in the years ahead," Mr. White declared. He went on: "We can choose how to think about and react to disappointment. At the extremes, one line of thought leads to bitterness and a shriveled soul; the other leads to wisdom and growth." Mr. White said his own career disappointment had enabled him to challenge himself about "what will be my work, my contributions, my sources of satisfaction and self-esteem?" He got a standing ovation.
bouncing_back  Joann_S._Lublin  setbacks  Managing_Your_Career  inspiration  Wall_Street  Colleges_&_Universities  disappointment  affirmations  seminal_moments  career-defining_moments  emotional_mastery  mybestlife  teachable_moments 
march 2012 by jerryking
For Jim Collins, No Question Is Too Big - NYTimes.com
By ADAM BRYANT
Published: May 23, 2009
Now the stages of decline that he maps out in the book — hubris born of
success; undisciplined pursuit of more; denial of risk and peril;
grasping for salvation with a quick, big solution; and capitulation to
irrelevance or death — offer a kind of instant autopsy for an economy on
the stretcher. Jim Collins method: approach every aspect of life with
purpose and intensity. Mr. Collins also is quite practiced at saying
“no.”
capitulation  decline  failure  gurus  intensity  Jim_Collins  management_consulting  mybestlife  Peter_Drucker  purpose  time-management  say_"no" 
may 2009 by jerryking

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