ffxvkinkmeme + kink:crack   62

Ignis/Noctis, Ardyn harassing Ignis while they fuck (CRACK)
Inspired by the previous prompt, because I spent like 20 seconds not realizing that anon probably meant "Ardyn inappropriately and unwantedly coming onto Ignis to spite Noctis"—

Ignis and Noctis are getting it on. Ardyn pops up somewhere uncomfortably close (like, 5-7 feet away) and starts harassing Ignis. About his sexual performance? Sure, sure, but what about his prissy cooking skills? His utter lack of a life outside of Noctis? His terrible fashion sense? Ignis, my boy, you need at least three more patterns to go with those pinstripes to make them even remotely acceptable...

They ignore him and keep fucking until Ignis snaps and starts railing Noctis into the ground while returning verbal fire.

(It's the best sex the couple have had in ages. Neither of them know what to think about that.)

DNW: A lot of context. Ardyn actually getting in on the action. Bottom!Ignis. (Switch is fine as long as he's on top when he snaps lol.)
!unfilled  character:noctis  character:ignis  character:ardyn  pairing:ignisxnoctis  kink:harassment  kink:crack 
march 2019 by ffxvkinkmeme
Ardyn & Anyone; even Evil has standards
So, one of the Chocobros (or hell, someone else, for example Luna) is captured by Ardyn and expects all possible horrible things to happen to them. Literally all possible horrible things.

But it turns out that for Ardyn there actually are some lines that he is absolutely not willing to cross. And when he understands that his captive totally expects him to do that thing without blinking an eye, he suddenly finds himself in a rather awkward position. Sure, he does enjoy being a frightening creep with drama queen tendecies, but come on, "I may be two-thousand years Scourge-carrying Accursed, but this? This is just insulting. Do I really give that impression?". Angst, and backpedalling, and maybe even awkward attempt in reassurance issue.

While I would love to read something serious on this, humor or even crack are also very welcomed. Go wild! :)
!unfilled  character:ardyn  character:any  pairing:ardynxany  pairing:gen  kink:humor  kink:crack  kink:angst  kink:awkward 
march 2019 by ffxvkinkmeme
Gen or Ardyn/Prompto, Prompto hugs the daemons out of Ardyn (crack?)
I can't be the only one who thinks Ardyn looks kinda huggable. I blame all the layers and his messy hair. Makes him look soft, like a big fuzzy bear (lul). So yeah... Let's just say Prompto came to same conclusion. Others can join in if A!A likes.

+++++ It's actually working. Whether unintentional or not (a.k.a bros might not be aware of the daemons).

DNW: non-con
!unfilled  character:prompto  character:ardyn  pairing:gen  pairing:ardynxprompto  kink:daemon  kink:crack  kink:hug 
february 2019 by ffxvkinkmeme
Possible crack; Ardyn is too old for this shite
He's seen and done just about everything to/with/for everyone; now if it's not too much to ask, he'd just like to retire somewhere quiet, and, hell, raise some organic carrots or something.

The Gods are having none of it. He has a part to play, Themdammit, and they're going to do whatever is necessary to see to it that he fulfills his role. Enjoying a drink at the Quay? Oh look, it's that brat prince destined to kill you! Trying to work in his office? The soothing background radio keeps getting cut into with broadcasts about the young Oracle or chatter from frantic soldiers calling for backup at the Kingshield mows them down. Enjoying the view in Lestallum? Here's the royal rodents again! Ever noticed how the chirpy blonde looks *so* much like that handsome General you were so fond of in days gone by?

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Eventually, Ardyn's legendarily-long patience wears away. It seems the fates are bound and determined to make a monster of him. What can he do but give in?
!unfilled  character:ardyn  pairing:gen  kink:crack  kink:old-age 
february 2019 by ffxvkinkmeme
Crack/Humor, The Chocobros do not cope well whenever Noct disappears to another dimension
It always kills me to imagine them being like this (taken from @brosura's tumblr post) whenever Noct goes to Dissidia / disappears for a crossover quest:

ignis: WHERE IS HE WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU PUT HIM
gladio: I SWEAR TO GOD IT WASNT ME THIS TIME
prompto, crying: oh my god we lost the entire prince

Just something on how the Chocobros would react, or maybe if they ever get used to it. Bonus if any of those lines could be included XD
!unfilled  character:noctis  character:prompto  character:ignis  character:gladiolus  pairing:gen  kink:crack  kink:humor  kink:funny  kink:disappear 
february 2019 by ffxvkinkmeme
Ardyn hates people but loves animals, transformed-to-animal!Any has a peculiar day
Any gets transformed to animal (cat/frog/bird/... bat... whatever) because of some magical shenanigans. They somehow manage to run into Ardyn and just when they think their luck can't get any worse... this bag of daemons suddenly transforms to a giddy mother-hen. It's kinda horrifying really.

++++ Any is injured or otherwise seemingly troubled (like species in a place they shouldn't be like a frog nowhere near water) and Ardyn goes into absolutely ridiculous lengths to ensure their well-being.

Sorry. I just want some cracky fluff.
!filled  !complete  character:noctis  character:prompto  character:ardyn  character:ignis  character:gladiolus  pairing:gen  kink:animal-transformation  kink:crack  kink:fluff 
january 2019 by ffxvkinkmeme
Chocobros, getting dressed in the dark crack
After a wild night, Regis, Clarus, Cor, and Drautos call all four of the bro’s requesting their immediate presence in the throne room for a very urgent time sensitive matter. Whatever that matter was, it is completely forgotten when al four of them race into the room wearing eachother’s very ill fitting clothes.
Featuring:
+Someone Gladio’s shirt like a dress while his pants nearly fall off of someone else.
+ Ignis’s personally tailored shirt hugging someone in all the hilariously wrong ways while his pants don’t go all the way up someone else’s hips (because apparently ignis has very narrow hips)
+ Noctis’s shirt becoming a belly shirt and his pants coming too far up someone’s ankles
+ Prompto’s shirt has writing on it that is hilariously appropriate for the moment, and his pants are missing, leaving someone only his boxers for someone to jump into.

Of course, those are only suggestions! If you can think of something funnyer, please, write it!
!unfilled  character:noctis  character:prompto  character:ignis  character:gladiolus  character:regis  character:cor  character:clarus  character:drautos  pairing:gen  kink:clothing  kink:dressing  kink:crack 
january 2019 by ffxvkinkmeme
Ignis/Noctis or Ignis/Regis - king's right to first night with a twist
Pure crack, I apologise for nothing!

Ignis doesn't want his first time to be with the husband his family arranged for him but it might cause a big scandal, if it got out somehow that he lost his virginity to someone else.

Unless, of course, Ignis didn't really have a choice in the matter.

So he asks Noct or Regis to invoke their right of the first night and have sex him on his wedding night.
!unfilled  character:noctis  character:ignis  character:regis  pairing:ignisxnoctis  pairing:ignisxregis  kink:crack  kink:first-time 
december 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Gen or Crack, Verstael explaining Ardyn the wonders of modern technology
Ardyn: "Verstael?"
Verstael: "Yes?"
Ardyn: "What the bloody hell is a may-may?"
Verstael: *exasperated sigh*

(You know you want this.)
!unfilled  character:ardyn  character:verstael  pairing:gen  kink:crack  kink:modern_technology 
december 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Crack; the Astrals took Noct's beard
I refuse to believe he wanted to shave that off.

So to yank his chain one last time, the Astrals made sure Noctis woke up clean shaven after he died. He's disappointed, to say the least.
!unfilled  character:noctis  character:astrals  pairing:gen  kink:beard  kink:crack  kink:facial-hair 
december 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Gen or Prompto/Any, MT programming crack
I love all kinds of MT!Prompto body horror, but I'd like to see a more humorous take on his modifications. Imagine the MTs run on a shitty Eos version of Windows and it starts going haywire the longer Prompto lives as a proper human, because it's simply not built to handle that. Stuff like freezing on the spot when he tries to do too many things too quickly. Random error alert sounds as he trips up or drops something. Getting stuck on a thought/action because he can't exit the process. Weird distracting calculations etc. starting up in the background when they're absolutely not needed at the moment. Basically any brainfarts of faulty programming you can come up with!

+ (for the ship route) bonus points if it interferes with his flirting attempts
++++++ if he completely bluescreens in response to physical affection
!unfilled  character:prompto  character:any  pairing:gen  pairing:promptoxany  kink:mt-prompto  kink:crack 
december 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Gen, Dysfunction Junction (CRACK)
...A.K.A. group therapy! :D

I saw a tumblr post recently that basically went "killing the depressed guy is shitty and he should have gotten HELP!" re: Ardyn, and while I think that after 2000 years of depression, death was the kindest thing that could have happened to him, it got me thinking.

Pretty much everyone in the FFXV universe got fucked over. Badly.

Ergo, group therapy.

Starring:
Ardyn "my brother/the gods betrayed me and now I've had to wait 2000 years for my brother's hundred-something-th descendant to finally come and fucking kill me already" Izunia
Noctis "people I love keep dying and now I gotta die too" Lucis Caelum
Gladliolus "I was literally conceived to be a meat shield for a doomed king" Amiticia
Prompto "so actually I'm a prototype clone for the magitek army" Argentum
Ignis "how do I do the 'blind' thing" Scientia
Lunafreya "my parents are dead, I'm a prisoner of the empire, and I'm destined to help kill one of my closest friends for the good of the world" Nox Fleuret
Ravus "my parents are dead, my sister devoted her life to my worst enemy, and I just lost an arm" Nox Fleuret
Cor "I have outlived every generation of friends I ever had" Leonis (Cid, in the distance: Quit tellin' people I'm dead!)

Aaand whoever else you can stuff in there. :D

+ The group therapist in charge is Aranea "quit mopin', keep hopin'" > "y'all are Fucked Up" Highwind.
+ they do arts and crafts and guided meditation to talk about their feelings
+ actual good real life advice gets passed around
+ there was supposed to be a kids/teens group but literally the only two youngsters left standing are Talcott and Iris so their group just got annexed into the adult group.
+ Iedolas is there for manic delusions
+ Drautos is there but no one knows why
+ Regis' ghost pops by every so often to dispense wisdom

DNW: ships
!unfilled  character:noctis  character:gladiolus  character:ardyn  character:prompto  character:ignis  character:lunafreya  character:ravus  character:cor  character:regis  character:aranea  pairing:gen  kink:therapy  kink:depression  kink:crack 
october 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
CRACK, Noctis challenges Ardyn to a dance-off
Becaiuse that's where my brain went someone mentioned Gaurdians of the Galaxy on the meme.
!unfilled  character:noctis  character:ardyn  pairing:ardynxnoctis  kink:dancing  kink:crack 
september 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Noctis/any + voyeur guardian angel Luna (crack)
"I watch over you, always" except she really meant ALWAYS. Every time Noct gets some, guardian angel Luna shows up afterwards to be like "you can't just fall asleep after you come" or "wow you took that huge cock I'm impressed" or other commentary on his sex life.

Fixit, middle of the drama, AU where Luna was always a guardian angel, w/e. Any can be literally anyone or multiple, ot4, whoever

++she can't NOT watch because she'd fail her duty as a guardian angel
++++++she gives him good relationship advice
+++++++++Noct tells Any and they put on a show for her
!unfilled  character:noctis  character:any  character:lunafreya  pairing:noctisxany  kink:crack  kink:guardian-angel 
august 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Supernatural bros - Crack edition
Inspired by the above vampire Noctis prompt,but instead all of the bros are supernatural beings, and not taking the subject seriously at all.

Noctis, heir to the Caelum vampire clan and a powerful warlock in his own right cannot resist garlic bread and regularly falls asleep outside so he wakes up with a wicked sunburn.

Ignis, political advisor and Noctis' garlic bread dealer. Makes garlic bread while wearing a hazmat suit and can regularly be found in clubs scoring free booze or just silently judging Noctis' life choices.

Prompto, ghost. Killed horrifically by his father a hundred years ago. Just gained the ability to go temporarily corporeal and uses that skill to drink all of Noctis'/Ignis' alcohol and move small but important objects (like keys). Haunts Noctis' home.

Gladio, werewolf. Honestly the only normal person. Spends his full moons hunting for meat. When he gets mad at someone he moves their car or another heavy object in front of their door. Has a horrible shedding problem. Steals Noctis' garlic bread.

Ravus and Luna are also vampires, but they're weird in that they're mostly well adjusted individuals despite being powerful in their own right. Iris is also a werewolf, and Loqi is a ghost as well. Aranea is a witch who owns a potions shop and gives Noctis shit every time he's there, she's also bff's with Prompto.
!unfilled  character:noctis  character:prompto  character:ignis  character:gladiolus  character:loqi  character:iris  character:aranea  character:lunafreya  character:ravus  kink:supernatural  kink:werewolf  kink:vampire  kink:ghost  kink:warlock  kink:crack 
august 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
"Ignis attempts and fails to kill Gladio over the years"
Another duty assigned to Ignis from a young age beside his advisor training was to take out any threats he perceives troublesome to the prince.

Then when Noctis begins his combat training with Gladio, he overflows his complaints to Ignis about how mean and aggressive the shield to be can get. This flips the switch in Ignis' brain to view Gladio as a threat so he sets off to try and eliminate the cause of Noctis' misery. Only something always happens that interferes with his attempts; trap doesn't work, someone steps in the way, Gladio walks away unscathed or thinks Ignis wants to train with him.

Looking more for humor (Wylie Coyote style perhaps) but you can go serious and creepy if you want.

+It continues even during the road trip
+Gladio thinks Ignis likes him, Ignis so does not (maybe, 'hatesex?')
+Ignis thinks he succeeded once only for Gladio to pop back up like nothing happened like a slasher movie villain

No toilet stuff and Ignoct
!unfilled  character:ignis  character:gladiolus  kink:assassination  kink:crack  kink:death 
august 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Ignis/Any, crack: Ignis can't use the grappling hook properly
ok. Ok. Episode Ignis, but with a twist: I. Could not. Use. That damn. Grappling hook. Ignis just kept faceplanting into the water while I screeched softly because I thought the game was timed and Noct would die if I didn't get to the altar fast enough. Ignis became very well acquainted with the canals.

So give me a happy ending AU where Ignis is like "haha yes so I used this to climb buildings" and someone asks him to demonstrate.

Chaos reigns.
!unfilled  character:ignis  character:any  pairing:gen  kink:crack  kink:humor 
july 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Any combination of Prompto, Noctis and Luna, SHAMELESS MISQUOTE-BASED CRACK
My name is Noctis (yes, that Noctis) and my friend's name is Prompto Argentum. To begin with, I should say that none of this was our fault. I would have thought that protecting the future of all Eos was a bit more important than they made it out to be. 'They' being my dad and my retainers Ignis and Gladio and most of the Crownsguard and the school football team and also some other people.

Somewhere out there, the Six might be quite impressed by our attempts and this might help the future of all Eos in the long run. (Look up at the sky bit-I guess that's something we'll never know.) All I can say is that there were some citizens of Eos who didn't deserve to be saved and I hope the Six have made a note of who they were.

Most of it was Luna's idea. If this was a movie she would be the weird mystic type who no one listens to at first and then everyone has to beg her to help them at the last minute. Prompto and I don't bother with the middle bit and just listen to her first time, which in this case might have been part of the problem.
!unfilled  character:noctis  character:prompto  character:lunafreya  kink:crack 
july 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Any/any, The King's Game
Okay so listening to 'King's Game' from the Midnight Channel musical soundtrack has made me need some good ol' fashioned crack.

Give me FFXV folks getting drunk and playing the King's Game, anons. Of course it ends up at least as barmy as things did with the IT in Persona 4.
!unfilled  character:any  pairing:anyxany  kink:drunken-shenanigans  kink:crack  kink:game 
july 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Any/Any, zoofic AU
Do you remember those zoofics where, like, every character was their own species and were basically animals? Sometimes with the ears and tails, even? I want that. But with the bros.

Packs of Gladios butting heads... Noctises (Nocti?) sleeping the day away... Iggies fretting over whoever they've attached themselves to, and Promptos just having a good ol' time.

Crack, taken completely 100% seriously!
!unfilled  character:any  pairing:anyxany  kink:alternate_universe  kink:crack 
july 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Any/Any, crack pairing with a weird kink
In honor of ffxv crack week, I'd love to see a crack pairing in which the couple has the strangest kink. I mean anywhere from Cindy/Nayveth wearing kenny crow costumes while they fuck to Ardyn/Dave having sex on top of the hood of Ardyn's trashmobile in the middle of a swamp to Crowe/Gentiana having an ice magic battle in the middle of sex. Anything along the lines of weird and cracky and absolutely not taken seriously.
!unfilled  character:any  pairing:anyxany  kink:crack  kink:kink 
june 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Crack/AU - Ledolas/Noctis - The Emperor's Bride
When the empire attacks Tenebrae, they manage to kill Regis and Silvya, taking charge of Noctis, Luna and Ravus, when Ledolas sees Noctis, decides that he is going to marry him, because he is too pretty to kill him.

Bonus points:
* Ledolas giving the best in health so that your beautiful child is healthy.
** Noctis implicitly threatened to be good and that his people are safe.
*** Ledolas can only marry him when he is older.
**** Noctis learning to manipulate the emperor to do things he wants.
***** Ledolas dies before the wedding and unable to relieve their blue balls.
****** Extra if Ledolas dies so that Noctis is the new emperor because people were already used to the idea.

No prophecies or idiotic gods.
It can be ABO.
!unfilled  character:noctis  character:ledolas  kink:crack  kink:alternate_universe 
june 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Ot4, National Lampoons style road trip
In which EVERYTHING goes wrong. It starts off so nice... They went sightseeing, visited a lot of interesting places and nice hotels, had so much fun bonding...

By the end of it, they've wrecked the car beyond reason, gotten robbed blind, nearly died multiple times, gotten pulled over by the police, left a dead body on someone's porch and held a security guard at gunpoint.

Definitely not their best vacation.
!unfilled  ot4  pairing:ot4  kink:fun  kink:crack  kink:car 
june 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Noct/The Weapons Seller - "Hey, come again."
Possibly the crackiest prompt I've made.

I just keep picturing him telling Noct "Hey, come again" in that bland monotone of his after giving Noct a good lay.
!unfilled  character:noctis  character:other  pairing:noctisxother  kink:crack  kink:humor 
may 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Noctis "De-aged Noctis does not act how everyone expects and wreaks havoc"
So something happens that causes Noct to revert back to toddler age; 3-4; but instead of being similar to his older self or behaved as Ignis remembered, he's a rambunctious little shit who likes to get himself into trouble and is an unabashed flirt with every lady; and some men; he meets.

+baby!Noct always falls asleep laying on a ladies chest, or Gladio's pillowy man-bosoms.
+he mouths off to Ignis and doesn't listen to him
+lots of cuddles and hugs from Promto
+it's older Noct but in a toddler body and he uses this as a way to be a troll
!unfilled  character:noctis  character:ignis  character:prompto  character:gladiolus  kink:crack 
april 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Ignis/Any, Dragon Ignis, Noctis and Bros are his treasure, Crack
So the reason Ignis comes from a long line of royal retainers is because they're all dragons. By introducing them early to their charges, they develop attachments that mean they view them as their treasures - creating a loyal, caring and protective advisor.

Ignis is a more hoard-y dragon than most though. Which is why his hind brain has declared Gladio also his treasure. And, oops, now Prompto too.

If you want to add in more treasures, feel free. Conversely, Ignis can down upon somebody as not worthy of being treasure(Ardyn, Dino, Vyv, etc.)
!filled  !wip  character:ignis  pairing:ignisxany  character:noctis  character:prompto  character:gladiolus  kink:crack  kink:alternate_universe 
april 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Gen or Gladio/Any - 'get help'
Anyone seen Thor: Ragnarok? Well I want that scene where Thor uses Loki as a distraction, yelling about him being 'hurt' then tosses him into the stunned enemy :D

I can see Gladio doing that lol you can make it total crack if you wanna just gimme a laff
!filled  character:gladiolus  character:ignis  pairing:gladioxignis  kink:crack  kink:pining 
april 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
OT4+Luna, wilting flower as a distraction, bad acting
The bros have managed to meet up with Luna BEFORE Altissia, but they find themselves surrounded by suspicious imperial troops. They aren't sure how they're going to get out of this one, but then Luna just sighs and falls into a dramatic swoon.

What follows is the most poorly acted damsel-in-distress scene Luna or the bros have ever done.

Bonus:
+ Luna having to feed the guys dramatic lines
++++ "How DARE you, she's very sensitive to (insert ridiculous subject here)"
+++++++ One of the bros starts fake sobbing
++++++++++"This isn't Lunafreya! This is my wife... Yuna...freya..."
+++++++++++++++++If the empire falls for it
!unfilled  character:noctis  character:prompto  character:ignis  character:gladiolus  character:lunafreya  pairing:ot4  kink:crack 
april 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Aranea/Nyx
crackship ahoy????? i have:
-no reasons
-no excuses
-no shame

so. just. literally Anything with these 2 interacting. sexy? not sexy? it's all good
!unfilled  character:aranea  character:nyx  pairing:araneaxnyx  kink:crack  kink:other 
april 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Ardyn/Any, Ardyn's Terrible love poetry
Terrible both because of the lurid purple prose the fact that Ardyn is a daemon pinata who thinks everseration is romantic.
!unfilled  character:ardyn  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Crack, Joke weapons
Inspired by the Saints row comment above, bros using gag weapons to hilariously lethal efrect.

Noctis killing shit with his fishing pole. Ignis fighting off mooks and cooking breakfast while dual weilding spatulas. Gladio wailing on daemons with a mop. Prompto taking out an Iron Giant with a super-soaker.

+++There's tottally Tomb of the Jester somewhere where noctis gets a giant spectral dong to fight with.
+++++++It's the best weapon in the game.
!unfilled  character:noctis  character:gladiolus  character:prompto  character:ignis  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
CRACK, Ardyn loses his dick
Ardyn gets splatted into bits but he manages to pull himself back together. Well, mostly. A certain very important piece of his anatomy is missing and Ardyn will stop at nothing to find his favorite dangly bit again.
!unfilled  character:ardyn  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Ardyn loves Christmas
Wide and far everybody in Niflheim knows Chancellor Ardyn Izunia loves Christmas with a firy passion. Everybody also knows to never ever interfer with said love: just let the crazy one do as he does, he's harmless.

Ardyn...
-in ugly Christmas sweaters
-humming Last Christmas all the time
-talking Aldercapt into Christmas decorations for Zegnautus keep
-trying to catch Ravus under the mistletoe out of spite because Ravus avoids him since weeks
-talking Verstael into installing Christmas carols software in the MTs.

It is that time of the year where everything is love and happiness - to Ardyn at least.
!unfilled  character:ardyn  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Ardyn Izunia as Santa Claus
Because I was contemplating how creepy the lyrics "He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake" are, and so of course my brain automatically took that leap in logic to my favourite creep of the moment.
!unfilled  character:ardyn  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Noct/any + Regis, running on autopilot
From a Reddit post on weird things you've done on autopilot:

"Was at my fiances house for dinner. Had to leave early. Was in a rush. Kissed her dad on the way out."
!unfilled  kink:crack  character:regis  character:noctis 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Crack, Ardyn is girl's name
...but Ardyn ain't a girl.

OR

The real reason Ardyn turns evil is because even after he saves everyone from the Scourge they still make fun of him for having a feminine name.
!unfilled  character:ardyn  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
line of Lucis jokes
I bet Noct feels weird about the whole "the line of lucis goes with you" thing.

I mean, that's weird right, to be a teenager/young adult and reminded *all the time* that his actions will either continue or end the royal line. Like, that's him having sex and the entire country being aware of it. Talk about pressure and responsibility but also wow, that's his junk they're talking about.

Anyway, I'd love to see Noct's internal (often amusing and/or anxiety ridden) thoughts about this.
!unfilled  character:noctis  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Prompto, Dramatic Narration
Prompto being a derp and bored so he starts narrating everything he's doing in the most melodramatic way possible.
!unfilled  character:prompto  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Humour: Ardyn has a work accident and has to fake
Being immortal is a blessing because every injury heals immediately, it turns into a curse though if Aldercapt is present and you have to fake whichever handycap for several weeks.

Ardyn is walking with a cane now which looks hot enough, sometimes he forgets though and has to find creative ways to excuse his behaviour.

Kudos if he hits someone with the cane at least once.
!unfilled  character:ardyn  character:iedolas  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Pre-Relationship Promptis? During road trip?
Based on this that I found on tumblr:

Person C: *opens the door* I’m back!
Person A & B: *glaring at each other*
Person C: Oh no, are they fighting again?
Person A: YOUR EYES BRING ME BACK TO EARTH AND MAKE ME REALIZE LIFE WITHOUT YOU WAS MEANINGLESS!
Person B: WELL YOUR SMILE IS ALL IT TAKES FOR ME TO WANT TO LEAVE EVERYTHING BEHIND JUST TO BE BY YOUR SIDE!
Person D: they’ve been hanging a “compliment the shit outta me” contest for three hours and they realized they are both great at it
Person C: Jesus fuck, just fuck already

Now A & B are clearly Noctis and Prompto, C is obviously Ignis and D is Gladio who had been watching them for said past three hours and thinks the whole thing is fucking hilarious. And if Promptis really does end up taking their challenge to the other room, all the better. :D
!unfilled  character:prompto  character:noctis  pairing:noctisxprompto  kink:crack  character:gladiolus  character:ignis 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
OT4, Save the Freckles
Because of magic plot reasons Prompto's cute freckles get erased and now the bros must go on a quest to discover a cure for a Prompto's tragic condition.

Well, three of them are anyways. Prompto just gets dragged along going "Srly guys its not that bad they're just freckles."
!unfilled  character:prompto  character:gladiolus  character:ignis  character:noctis  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
King Noctis Kinging from his bed
Because he's king now and if the meeting about the reconstruction of Insomnia from his bedroom in his bedroom in his pajamas he bloody well will, and Ignis and his "You must get out bed sometime today, your majesty" can suck it.
!unfilled  character:noctis  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Crack, Creeper Ardyn getting the cops called in him
Ardyn is being his usual skeevey self towards the bros but this time someone notices is calls the goddamn cops on the creep.

+Ardyn keeps talking and digging himself deeper because the cops are having none of his bullshit.
++Ardyn getting peppersprayed or tased.
+++Noct and Prompto get mistaken for minors and a cop asks them if the bad man touched them.
!unfilled  character:ardyn  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Noctis- Disney princess cliché
One day noctis just does some weird Disney princess magic like sings and all these animals come out and clean up or something.

Idk just have the guys confused by this cause noctis acts like its normal.
!unfilled  character:noctis  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Noctis/Any, Stupid fertile Lucis Caellums Crack AU
Knowing the Accursed plans to wipe out the Line of Kings, Shiva "blessed" the Lucis Caellums with magically enhanced fertility - like to ridiculous degree.

Thanks to this Noctis has like 20 siblings and a hundred cousins and a whole line of bastard kids of his own by the time he's twenty, and Ardyns been so busy trying to keep the family tree down to manable size they he hasn't has time for any of his other evil plans.

-Shiva's magic protects both mothers and unborn children - abortions and miscarriages are a no go but Aulea gets to live yay for no dead moms.
- One of the bros is trans and Noctis manages to knock him up even though the hormones should prevent it and now they're gonna be be in dysmorphia hell for the next nine months thanks Noct.
-Noct thinks doing it up the butt with a cis guy would be safe enough but nope now it's magic mpreg assbaby tiems.
-A completely done Ardyn trying to desperly to get rid of all the LC bastards Noct keeps leaving everywhere he's supposed to be the ladt of his line gdi but all the babymamas have divine protection and all his assassination/abortion attempts fail.
!unfilled  character:noctis  character:ardyn  character:regis  kink:crack  kink:fake-relationship 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Gen- keeping up with lucis
Idk to celebrate teen noctis bday the media proposes a reality special so kingdom can celebrate with the crown.

You have those awkward one on one camera interviews and they just have cor staring at the camera saying nothing.

Somehow people start pairing noctis up with every person he's on camera with it. Just have fun with it. No parings please.
!unfilled  character:noctis  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Gen or Noct/Prompto, playing Goat Simulator
Thanks to the ongoing LAVA stream, I need fic of Noct and Prompto playing Goat Simulator now.
!unfilled  character:noctis  character:prompto  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Gentiana, "Shiva's tits!"
"Shiva's tits" seems to be a popular swear in Final Fantasy fandom. I wonder what Gentiana's reaction to this would be.
!unfilled  character:gentiana  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Ardyn is Promptis shipper, writes fanfiction about them
Don't you tell me that he isn't biggest Promptis shipper in game. He basically called Prompto heart's desire of Noctis and treated him as love interest in distress.

Ardyn is crazy promptis fangirl, of course, he writes promptis a lot. The most stereotypical, horribly clichied promptis, where Prompto is either - useless, whining uke or allmighty prompto-sue (Oracle!Prompto, Prince!Prompto, etc), while Noctis reduced to beautiful emotional sponge with personality of that one sparkly vampire from Twillight. Ardyn's prose is very flowery, something straight out of your grandma's favorite romance novels.

Ardyn shares his fics and ideas with almost everyone from Empire. He discussed about omegaverse with Verstael, he asked Ravus to bet his fics. Bonus points if Aranea secretly likes his stories (like Cassandra from DAI). When Empire is no more, Ifrit become the poor victim of his talent.

Might be done in 5+1 format.
!unfilled  character:ardyn  pairing:noctisxprompto  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Crack, MT!Prompto & Omen!Noctis can't lie for shit
Neither Noctis nor Prompto have ever really had a real live friend before. They can handle it, though. Really. Both of them just have to convince the other they're Totally Normal. Pay no attention to the red eyes behind the curtain.

It's probably good they're just as bad at observing as they are at acting, or these idiots would be screwed.

-simultaneously: 'day 15. He still suspects nothing.'
-completely missing obvious signs how weird their new friend is
-painfully bad excuses that no actual human would buy
-'well, Noctis/Prompto does it, so it's gotta be normal, right?'
!unfilled  character:prompto  character:noctis  kink:alternate_universe  kink:crack  kink:magitek 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Gen, rotting fish in the armiger
Noct catches all these fish!! Where do they go? Into the armiger I guess? Unless Noct's got a deep freezer in there, the fish are gonna rot. What happens when you've got an armiger full of rotten fish?
!filled  !complete  character:noctis  kink:food  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
OT4, Knocking down the tent
The bros are having a foursome in the tent when someone kicks something and the whole thing falls down on them
!unfilled  pairing:ot4  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Noctis/Any, Asmr youtuber
Noct has an asmr youtube channel where he tries to share the joys of naps. And tingles. And hey, the guy's hot so even people who aren't into asmr like watching his videos.

But Any just. Does not compute. Why do people like these kinds of videos?

Maybe Noct can show him/her...personally.

+ Any can be Anys. My fav polyships are ot4 and noct/luna/nyx

+ Any gets the tingly response from Noct's demonstration. And is subsequently turned on and relaxed all at once.

+ Noct may or may not (definitely may) fall asleep in the midst of making his own videos
!unfilled  character:noctis  kink:crack  kink:alternate_universe 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
OT4, The Bros have a movie made about their journey
In an AU where Noctis makes it through the final battle...
It's a few decades down the line, and the bros all decide to sneak out to the movies. Because it turns out that someone has decided to make a film about their epic journey.

It's awful. It gets everything wrong. Things like: Ardyn is portrayed as a friend of theirs, there are out-there romantic sub-plots, the guy playing Gladio spends half the movie flexing and making really bad comic-relief jokes, Prompto's character is basically Legolas, and Ignis' character exists to sob dramatically at every important plot point.

Good thing Noctis can summon alcohol from his armiger.

Basically give me an MST3K of the bros riffing on what Hollywood would probably do to a FFXV movie.
!unfilled  character:prompto  character:noctis  character:gladiolus  character:ignis  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Any/Any, slightly CRACK, Prompto/Cor, Prompto buys and successfully hatches a Chocobo egg
In a world where Prompto was raised by Cor instead of basically growing up alone, Prompto has always dreamt of having a pet. So after Prompto nurses Pryna back to health, Cor gives his agreement to look into the whole pet business.

While Cor is away on Crownsguard business, Prompto tours the local pet shops, asking about dogs and Chocobos. After asking enough questions Prompto is referred to what later turns out to be Insomnia's black market and buys a rare Chocobo egg. Which he manages to hatch through rather creative means.

Turns out that a Chocobo chick, if kept on its own while its owner attends school, can really trash a house. Turns out that the bloody things are bloody fast. And it also turns out that a slightly bedraggled Marshal might be able to unwittingly turn an illicitly gotten Chocobo chick lose on his neighbourhood, when he arrives back in Insomnia in the morning and opens the door to his own house.

++ For Iggy, Gladio and Noct to pitch in with helpful advice during the course of the whole enterprise
+++ For Cor figuring out what exactly Prom has been up to in his absence and despite being tired and more than a little bit cranky, he's also impressed at the kid's resourcefulness
++++ For Cor enlisting his friends' help in a scavanger hunt around his neighbourhood, because he really doesn't want to be the one who has to tell the Sunshine Child that his ill-begotten pet escaped.
+++++ For friendly banter and merciless teasing and Clarus calling Cor a giant marshmellow
+++++++ For Cor sitting down and telling Prompto that they can't keep the Chocobo and consoling the boy. After which they have A TALK about black markets.
+++++++++ If the Chocobo chick ends up as a donation to the local zoo and Prompto drags Cor there every Sunday to visit *enter slightly embarrassing pet name her*.
++++++++++ For Prompto to return from school one day to find a puppy waiting for him at home.
!unfilled  character:prompto  character:cor  character:chocobo  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Take care of Gladio's books...OR ELSE!
Gladio's the only one who thought to bring any reading material along on the road trip of destiny, so when the other bros are bored and want something to read they borrow one of Gladio's books. He wouldn't mind this so much if they would take care of his precious books properly and returned them in the same condition they left, but nooo...

Grease and dirt marks from unwashed fingers, crumbs and spills because someone gets hungry/thirtsy/decafienated when they read, scribbles in the margin (in pen, no less), folded pages and cracked spines...

Just gimme Gladio completely losing his shit b/c bros are dumbasses who don't respect his books enough.
!unfilled  character:gladiolus  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Any/Any, 200 things Cor Leonis is under no circumstances allowed to do
Having known Cor ever since he was a 13 year old firecracker, his friends and his colleagues in the Crownsguard have come up with a list of rules about what Cor really isn't allowed to do, a list that they keep having to add to because of the stunts he pulls.

In the meantime Cor comes up with creative and unobtrusive ways to sidestep the bloody list and is secretly touched that people care so bloody much.
!unfilled  character:cor  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
213 Things Nyx Ulric is not allowed to do in the Kingsglaive
What it says on the tin - they keep making new rules because of all the stupid shit Nyx does and he just keeps finding creative ways to break them.
!unfilled  character:nyx  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Gladio, Crack: Gladio makes Human Ramen
He snaps and goes on a cup noodle bender, culminating in the Eos version of this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOCwt6k-Nx4
!unfilled  character:gladiolus  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Gladio/Noctis, Cup Noodle Hat
I remember seeing a prompt (I think it was last round?) where Noctis tries to seduce Gladio in a cup noodle hat and it actually works.

Okay but can we have Noctis jokingly trying to seduce Gladio with the cup noodle hat and both of them bursting into laughter because of it. Like, it becomes a running joke to the point where they burst into giggles at the sight of cup noodles.

Bonus if they actually try to have sex at one point while Noct's wearing it and have to stop because they're both laughing too hard.

Double bonus if Noct makes it worse with food related dirty talk and both of them are wheezing from the utter absurdity.
!unfilled  character:gladiolus  character:noctis  pairing:gladiolusxnoctis  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Gen or OT4: Put that boy on a leash already
Prompto has absolutely no stranger danger awareness. The bros knew about this before leaving Insomnia but never felt it was a serious issue. After Insomnia's fall and they're encountering a lot more unsavory people than they expected and Prompto is completely oblivious to it and more than once the bros have to keep him from following dangerous people. After one too many close calls Ignis breaks down and buys a backpack/child leash combo determines to at least keep Prompto from wandering off and following strangers.

*The backpack is chocobo themed, or shaped like a chocobo(Prompto would never notice the leash)
**Prompto never notices the leash.
***Gladio tries one last time to give Prompto the Stranger Danger before Ignis gives Prompto the backpack
!unfilled  character:prompto  character:noctis  character:ignis  character:gladiolus  pairing:ot4  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme
Ardyn opening museum with all the random crap he's collected over the years
Original drafts of 2,000 year old plays.
Ceramic action figures from his youth, lovingly kept in mint condition.
Prototypes of various medical instruments spaning millenia.
All sort of original artwork, purchased directly from the old masters themselves.
A disturbly large collection of medival torture devices.
Eos's first lightbulb/toaster/radio/ect.
So much ancient porn.
character:ardyn  !unfilled  kink:crack 
march 2018 by ffxvkinkmeme

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