+ more weasley bashing than i'm usually okay with, but the fake!dating for revenge was pretty fun.
22 days ago
A very interesting AU; Hermione is still Hermione, but when your only friends are demons, your perspective on life is going to be rather skewed.
+ i stayed up way too late last night reading this. i found it adorable, but ymmv. ends after year 1, and then summarizes how things would go after that.
22 days ago
"Yes, my lady?" Brienne said politely, still waiting, wondering if she was to be sent on some errand from the King that Sansa herself doubted the wisdom of. A proposal was an odd way of putting it.
"A proposal," Lady Sansa went on, tightly. "Of marriage."
+ this is not fluff, but it still felt like it resolved easier than they ever could have.
29 days ago
+ outsider pov.
4 weeks ago
+ just reread this and realized it kind of hits the 'my partner's dead, just kidding' vibe. ron is just held hostage, but it was almost as satisfying.
5 weeks ago
Look, I'll be frank: this is over 7000 words of pure self-indulgence. My only hope is that it scratches an itch for my recipient as well.
+ caine is the prettiest of pretty princess brides.
5 weeks ago
Notes: Ah, the creation process:
Commenter: Would you consider writing sticky?
Me: I just don't get why* Transformers would end up with human-type sexual equipment.
Brain: *crashes through the wall like Kool-Aid Man* I GOT THIS
Here, have a story.
* ("I just don't get why" is probably the starting point of 50% of my stories.)
+ i read a lot of weird shit. astolat sometimes takes it to another level.
6 weeks ago
“He’s an emissary, Scott.” Derek tried to make his tone empathetic, but Scott’s tendency to fight back on everything always grated on his nerves. “His pack is gone, he won’t survive more than a day or two either way.”
“Then we should stay with him.”
Derek sighed as he studied the man for a moment; he was too pale against the fur rim of his hood, almost grey from lying out in the snow, and his cloak was stained with dark dried blood around a protruding arrow shaft. It was unlikely he would even last the night. They would probably be able to carry on in the morning with little time lost, if any.
It wasn’t a horrible idea, Derek decided reluctantly. They hadn’t been able to set up a real camp for a few weeks in the open foothills, and they were all on edge from sleeping in exposed areas. A defensible place to sleep would be good for them, even if they were surrounded by death. They would be able to give the pack proper burials, at the very least.
“Fine. One night,” Derek relented, already moving away to check on Isaac. “He’s your responsibility.”
+ vaguely tribal au is a good tag for this.
6 weeks ago
+ book recs.
6 weeks ago
Rey rests a hand on his arm, feeling the muscles underneath his sleeve. “Babe,” she says, leaning close to him. “It means we pretend we’re madly in love. Think you can pull that off for your office pool?” Ben’s eyes flicker softly between each of hers and he swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat.
+ modern au. ben/kylo is exceptionally awkward.
6 weeks ago
They flit in and out of each other's lives, always a little out of reach, and then the First Order takes Rey but Kylo Ren was not the one who ordered her capture. One-shot.
+ this could have been longer.
7 weeks ago
+ sure. i'll just continue googling info for this fandom that i'm never going to play.
7 weeks ago
+ vader dies half way through the fic, and while i'm glad i didn't go into that blind, it was still rough. in addition, parts of the second half get pretty dark - a child dies unexpectedly in a fucked up way. even with all the tears this caused and its tonal changes, this was a pretty satisfying fixit fic for the universe, and i don't regret reading it.
7 weeks ago
One Shot. Complete.
8 weeks ago
It’s hard to feel self-conscious when the leader of the galaxy wants to be on his knees for you.
+ space virgins.
8 weeks ago
Tags: eldrich grace and harold, Tentacles, Consentacles, Sounding, Oviposition, Mpreg, Eggpreg, Past Abuse, Threesome - F/M/M, john is a figurative unicorn, Crying, Multiple Orgasms, Body Modification
8 weeks ago
At least, that's what Thor tells himself after it's suggested the cleanest solution to the Loki Problem is to marry him.
+ not as crackish as the summary would lead you to believe.
8 weeks ago
+ for the most part drama free fake!dating. ben had been pining, and there aren't any huge misunderstandings either.
9 weeks ago
aka, FORCE FINGER BANGING
+ post tlj, short.
9 weeks ago
"Like a house on fire," the General deadpanned. "Complete with screams, flames, and people running for safety."
"Indeed." Luke's blue eyes twinkled. "There may be no survivors."
+ ben and rey go undercover at a first order base as matt and kira, radar technicians. somewhat juvenile - there is too much truth or dare.
9 weeks ago
Behind her, the nurse huffed, cocking her hip. As if it was obvious, she said, “She’s his fiancée.”
+ a ridiculous while you were sleeping au, minus the brother. pretty enjoyable.
9 weeks ago
And then she comes in, wearing what are obviously her 'laundry day' clothes, big orange headphones, and a smile brighter than the sun.
Most of his clothes are 'dry clean only', but when did anyone actually listen to those tags, anyway?
+ this has zero to do with star wars, but there is semi-public porn.
9 weeks ago
When work dries up on Jakku, a desperate Rey enlists with Galactech-- a tech company who will hire anyone with the right skills, and work for anyone for the right price. Now trapped onboard the Finalizer, Rey is both horrified and fascinated by the dark tales she hears about the leader of the Knights of Ren and the mysterious Force he controls.
But, when a chance encounter awakens a power within her she has never known, it may just be Kylo Ren’s fascination with her that becomes her undoing.
+ 130k. satisfying, plenty of obsession.
9 weeks ago
+ porn in rey's at-at.
9 weeks ago
Rey has long wondered whose pain she wears on her skin like blossoms - a brave pilot, a legendary smuggler, a hero?
She never expects to find him on the opposite side of the battlefield.
Ren has given up on finding the girl who paints his hands and hips sky-like, but then suddenly she's standing over him wearing his new scar. The scar she's cut with her own hand.
They have been on a collision course since the day they were born, inexorably drawn to each other, and neither one can escape unscathed.
+ pretty good for my obsession kink.
9 weeks ago
+ huh. this appears to be new. not amazing, but decent, and i'll take all new labyrinth fic.
12 weeks ago
Thor glares at him.
Loki’s mouth twitches. “Also, it's the funniest thing that's ever happened to me.”
+ fake dating on the ship. fairly fluffy.
12 weeks ago
“No,” Cyclonus said, low and harsh. “But it will be.”
+ pretty typical astolat. i did have to get someone to explain the relevant transformers movie to me for things to start making sense. could have gone to porn, but did not actually go there.
Sweet post-Thor:Ragnarok coda
As it turns out, it's difficult to fill your day so thoroughly you can't think, even when you're sticking to your best behavior and helping heal, and rebuild, and making sure your brother doesn't forget he has only one eye and trip through a window into space somewhere.
Really, it's probably in everyone's best interest that Loki find something to do. When he's bored, he schemes; and it's possible he's come to terms with the fact that his sense of appropriate scale is, at times, lacking.
+ vaguely pre-slashy.
Contains, in no particular order: magic candymaking, Harry falling in love with a house, evil kitten Draco Malfoy, and Hermione attempting to apply logic to the wizarding world.
+ speeds through all seven books in 180k. harry is determined to do well in potions and eventually gets snape to mentor him. a little glib, but i enjoyed the whole thing. pretty close to zero character bashing, which definitely helped. cursed child is treated as canon, but doesn't have a huge effect.
They sort of derailed each other into discussing and negotiating monogamy until they were both late for work. Kirk's main point of contention seemed to be that he didn't want her to sleep with anyone too boring. Or too interesting. "Well then!" Nyota said, exasperated. She suspected, too, that he'd get much pickier about her partners than he would be about his own, and said so. Kirk then got huffy over her history of almost exclusively taking dark-haired partners.
They stopped arguing to have sex twice, and then they had it figured out by the weekend, just in time to visit a club on Saturday night after some breathless makeup necking. She decided on some dark stockings beneath a pale blouse and skirt, no makeup. She'd assumed that she'd needed to dress up, but Jim was also in sober clothes: plain jeans, warm jacket. "It's pretty much an ordinary bar," he said, "but as far as I know it's still a big BDSM hub- just socializing. We'll look for someone we both like and then see if they like us back."
"Okay," she said. She rested her jaw on his shoulder and frowned at the mirror. "Do you think we look a bit like serial killers?"
He patted her mock-condescendingly on the head.
+ and then they pick up spock at a bar awhile down the road.
+ this is cute.
+ car sex. despite that summary, this is definitely based in canon. also, the end authors note made me like it even more.
A courtship through blood and… other means of influence.
+ i was excited for 50k of will/hannibal that i hadn't read from an author i've like in the past, and it was satisfyingly fucked up, but i didn't like how this or the sequel ended.
(This fic is a gift. A GIFT, I tell you. And my life has been enriched by an unholy an amount for having read it. Done in traditional crossover fashion, not a HP-based!AU, Ichigo is dispatched by the Soul Society to deal with the wrongness that is Voldemort's soul splitting nonsense and the additional horror that is Harry during fifth year. He's just so done with everything and it is great)
+ i have seen maybe two full episodes of bleach before and was not into it at all, but this was still mostly entertaining.
“Pregnant?” asks Steve, perking up like a dog that’s just been offered a treat, and not just any dog, one of those wholesome happy ones like a golden retriever or whatever. Maybe the guy’s just looking for any bit of good news right now, given it’s been one nasty surprise after another the past few days. Tony kind of does want to offer him a treat, or pet him, or something. That’s really not a good enough reason for what Tony says next though.
“Yeah, uh, yeah, we are.”
+ civil war fix-it fic. there was less pepper in this than i would have preferred, but it is still mostly delightful.
The cat chirruped agreeably, and washed a paw. Despite being brought from south Ireland in a bag, the feline looked well-cared for.
“You brought me a cat. A murder cat, owned by your villain du jour.”
In which Q is brought offerings of murder cats, keeps losing his pens to a certain kleptomaniacal agent, and is generally oblivious to/confused by Bond's attempts at catching his attention.
+ i'm still ambivalent about q/bond, but there are cats and they are cute.
"Yeah, I know, it's kinda flashy." Will shut the car door behind him and patted his pockets for the little fob to lock the car.
"Isn't that Hannibal Lecter's car?"
The car beeped to indicate it was locked. "Yeah, I guess so." Will walked away, toward the field, Katz on his heels. "I needed a new car."
"So you bought the cannibal car?"
You asked for it: the one where Hannibal is a murderous self-driving car.
+ hannibal is a car, and it's not crack. i didn't love it, but it was decent enough.
[ A TRUE THROWBACK, taking place after season one when this was still a fandom that qualified for Yuletide, for pete's sake. a really strong ensemble piece that earns its title and demonstrates starkly the missed potential of canon. ]
+ sarah makes some fairy friends in college that take her to a party. jareth happens.
they don’t miss you
These are the words written on a post-it (a human invention) in Persephone’s bedroom. They’re written in what she fondly calls New English, aka the English that her mother still doesn’t know, even after all these years.
Every morning, when she wakes, she sees this post-it stuck onto the stone wall and makes herself read it out loud.
“Stop checking on him,” she says, arms wrapped tight around her knees. “He doesn’t miss you.”
This gave me chills. Persephone's transformation was astonishing.
+ not enough explaining, but good acheyness.
The boy. John frowned slightly. He had left The Boy, as Abram liked to refer to him, occupying the living room of the new house, surrounded by textbooks, pointedly ignoring John. “Fine.”
“What do you mean ‘fine’?” Abram asked, grimacing. “Do I want to know?”
“Abram,” Viggo growled.
“He’s still alive?” John wasn’t sure what he was meant to say.
Abram paled. “What? What did… John. When the D’Antonio family proposed this… arrangement to us in exchange for permission to act against one of the Camorra affiliated operations in New York, we guaranteed Santino D’Antonio’s continued good health in your hands. He’s what, nineteen? Eighteen? Only a boy.”
“He’s not hurt,” John said, even more puzzled now. “Studying for something, I think. We don’t talk.”
Prompt 4: Marriage AU (Any kind) / 4a: Marriage AU, GoT style rules, John is still with the Russians
Haha two people actually asked me for the same thing… Marriage AU… u guys seriously XD;; tbh I don’t really want to write forced marriage (I’m not really much into the institution in the first place). However the (Sicilian and Calabrian) mafia did have dynastic politics, and used to seal alliances etc with marriage, so arranged marriage it is ;3 I guess in this John Wick AU the same will go for the Camorra. The age gap is same as canon.
“Oh shit,” Stiles says.
+ fairy queen sends stiles back to stop the hale fire, and then forward to integrate with his body in the new timeline. derek has become a doctor in the meantime, and is very confused by all the drama.
In which Derek Hale learns that sometimes being given what we want more than anything else has disastrous consequences.
+ achy cute.
**||** [2.264 words]
lol, def amusing :)
+ leia from the end of the force awakens wakes up in her younger body at the beginning of a new hope. wip with a lot of vader feels.
The picture I chose: "The Apotheosis of War" by Vasily Vereshchagin (1871). The painting was dedicated "to all conquerors, past, present and to come"
It seems like I almost can hear the echos of screams and moans of those whose skulls are lying there in the desert. I wanted to show in my video the effect this picture has on me.
+ it's possible that i only like this vid so much because i love the song. a few recognizable faces, but i don't actually know any of the source footage.
+ movie-verse, readable.
+ shmi lives and becomes a jedi. it is very mary sueish, but i was pretty entertained, up until the clone wars started dragging on. i gave up on it in part five of the series.
Based on this (excerpted) prompt from hatteress:
I would like an AU where Stiles and his dad never lived in Beacon Hills. Instead, the Sheriff is the enforcer for the Old Houses - the shady, international conglomerate under which all werewolf hunters operate. He’s called in when hunters go off reservation - start killing outside of the code. The lines between the supernatural and the human worlds are shaky enough, you see, the Old Houses know better than to kill indiscriminately.
No one wants all out war.
THIS WAS A GOOD GOOD READ.
+ mostly cute.
+ it is an abandoned wip, but what's there has great pining.
“I get that a lot,” Geralt said.
+ this fic was basically astolat rewriting "Moving On" for a fandom i don't know with slightly different tropes, but "Moving On" is one of my favorite clark/lex fics, so i was mostly okay with that.
1. witches suck
2. reincarnation sucks
3. prehensile claws are kind of cool
+ i haven't actually seen jurassic world, but sure.
The Winter Soldier crouched in front of where Steve was slumped against the wall, hands and forearms glued to the stone behind him by some kind of sticky polymer. "Comfortable?"
"No," Steve lied. "My blood circulation has been cut off. I've lost all feeling in my hands."
"Oh, so I should probably cut you loose," the Soldier deadpanned.
"It's a medical emergency. You don't want to be responsible for me losing limbs, do you?"
"Tell you what, if you lose your hands, I'll make you some new ones." He held up his metal hand, smallest finger crooked. “Pinkie promise.”
Secret Agent adversaries-to-lovers AU where the Winter Soldier keeps tying Captain America to walls and sticking around to chat. Shut up, Natasha, it’s not flirting, okay? (It’s definitely flirting.)"
Completely made of awesome.
Pure fluff for the 5+ AU Headcanons game.
+ cute! :D
That gets him Steve’s attention, at least. “Excuse me?” he asks.
“No no no, hear me out,” Bucky says. “You wanna get back at them, right? Imagine the following: We date, fall madly in love, then have the most horrendous breakup in history and make them deal with that. They’ll feel terrible because they set us up, and we get to eat free ice cream and see their faces when we eventually tell them we pulled one over them,” Bucky finishes with a smug grin.
“That’s a terrible plan,” Steve says.
Vanessa comes out of the bedroom and hooks her chin over Wade’s shoulder.
“Do you think she heard me getting my spanking?” he whispers. “Because that was *private* noise.”
“I don’t know,” Vanessa says. “But she looks like she needs some coffee and pancakes, don’t you think?”
Negasonic grins. It’s scary as fuck.
+ super cute. in a deadpool way.
+ there are a few drabbles that happen before this, but this is the main story. sarah is now the goblin queen, and her step-mother goes to dresden because sarah won't leave toby alone. i liked the ending, but it's not exactly a happy one.
Notes: This is my contribution to the Hannibal Reverse Bang, where artists give images to writers to inspire a story. I was so lucky to work with postmortemdesign on this project. He gave me some gorgeous arctic imagery, and I gave him a totally bananas adventure story that was totally inspired by one of the best Sci-Fi films of the 1980s. I hope y'all have seen The Thing.
+ meh. it was different.
(A completely self-indulgent, deeply nasty sort-of-sequel to the completely gratuitous Feast, where everybody emerges through the other side of the MCU relatively unscathed, Bucky runs a bar around the corner from Clint's apartment and Stephanie thinks it's time he knocks her up.)
Jim will point to the sky, and say, “The moon’s always there, babe. Don’t need to go chasin’ after her.”
It is January, year 2063. Humanity has quietly achieved interstellar travel, and Jim Kirk’s soulbond stretches into the stars.
|| It was a truth fairly universally acknowledged, though, that when it came to sheer unbridled power, there was no match in their year for Hermione Granger. Who was currently rendering the Boy Who Refused to be Bumped Off to more or less jelly on the floor of the Room of Requirement – without speaking a word. He’d have to figure out something else to teach her soon. Preferably before she finished what the Dark Lord had started... Draco let himself wistfully dream of a World Without Harry Potter for a few seconds before remembering that he was a Gryffindor, a supposed defender of weaklings – even if the weakling in question had defied Voldemort five times and broken Draco’s nose the previous year.
“Granger! If Potter hasn’t gotten it by now, he isn’t going to!”
Granger lowered her wand, unabashed and eyed Potter critically.
“You’ve got to focus, Harry” she announced, as if that wasn’t evident. Her sparring partner was on the floor, sputtering from the after effects of a tickling curse, and replied to her commentary on his performance by glowering at her. Draco couldn’t really blame him. Before he got the chance to say anything, though – about focus or anything else – Granger’s eyes widened in alarm.
(Footage features both US and Swedish versions of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.)
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