elwarre + crack   46

The Man at the Gate
"A rather irate man shows up at the prison gate demanding to see Daryl." (1811 words)
daryl_dixon  rick_grimes  harry_potter  harry/daryl  crack  humor  established!relationship  crossover  fandom:walkingdead  fandom:harrypotter  author:kingsholto 
8 weeks ago by elwarre
Strangers in Bars
"Everyone else was avoiding the strange man but Harry felt himself drawn to him. His loud, archaic speech and enthusiastic drinking seemed to be off-putting to most people but to the Gryffindor it felt comfortingly familiar how different the man was." (7709 words)
harry_potter  thor  tony_stark  gen  humor  crack  friendship  crossover  hp:postseries  fandom:harrypotter  fandom:marvel  author:whisperingdarkness 
8 weeks ago by elwarre
Misunderstandings and an Alien Invasion
"A giant of a man wearing what looked like the American flag as some sort of armour was storming towards him from the ground. From above, a red and gold flying metal robot dove towards them. And directly in front of him, an alien struggled through the wreckage of its hovercraft with a snarl and a deadly looking gun. Sometimes he had to pause a moment to wonder how he got himself into these situations." (13,556 words) Second in the Misunderstandings Series
harry_potter  tony_stark  thor  gen  bamf!harry  masterofdeath!harry  pov:harry  crack  humor  altered!reality  aliens  magic  series/verse  hp:postseries  crossover  fandom:harrypotter  fandom:marvel  author:aytheria 
8 weeks ago by elwarre
A Little Misunderstanding
“...it’s not in every world you get asked if you’re a pagan god. He was almost flattered ... but with two guns pointed at him, it was hardly a laughing matter anymore.” (15,390 words) First in the Misunderstandings Series
harry_potter  sam_winchester  dean_winchester  castiel  gen  bamf!harry  masterofdeath!harry  pov:harry  humor  crack  altered!reality  demons  magic  series/verse  hp:postseries  crossover  fandom:harrypotter  fandom:spn  author:aytheria 
8 weeks ago by elwarre
All Hallow's Eve - New York
"Harry Potter had never really managed a normal, peaceful Halloween, so he really shouldn't have been surprised when he was suddenly displaced from the grocery store and found himself in front of a maniacally cackling man in a very dramatic outfit." (1698 words)
harry_potter  tony_stark  steve_rogers  masterofdeath!harry  gen  pov:harry  humor  crack  misunderstanding  birthday/holiday  crossover  fandom:harrypotter  fandom:marvel  author:whisperingdarkness 
8 weeks ago by elwarre
Five Space Pets Jim Brought Home and One Bones Let Him Keep
"Jim never really got to have a pet as a child and Leonard sympathizes, but this is starting to get ridiculous." (7314 words)
james_kirk  leonard_mccoy  hikaru_sulu  spock  kirk/mccoy  st:fiveyearmission  humor  crack  brainwashing/mindgames  sex:pollen  established!relationship  fandom:startrek(aos)  author:the_dala 
april 2018 by elwarre
Omega Online
"Newly imprinted Charles is having trouble dealing with his overly protective alpha—so in desperation he seeks advice in an omega chat room. Emma Frost is more than happy to help, Raven isn't helping at all, and Erik can't stand to be out of touch with Charles for more than five minutes at a time." (12,007 words) I usually avoid both a/b/o and mpreg, but this was funny and ridiculous. I enjoyed it.
charles_xavier  erik_lehnsherr  emma_frost  raven  charles/erik  omega!charles  pregnant!charles  alpha!erik  businessman!erik  protective!erik  jealous!erik  humor  schmoop  crack  text/email  jealousy  bonding/soulmates  kink:abo  kink:mpreg  established!relationship  x:au:modern  fandom:xmen  author:miss_aphelion 
april 2018 by elwarre
Broken
"Neil receives a head injury during a game and wakes up speaking with an English accent. Andrew... is not exactly pleased with the situation, even though the Foxes are delighted about the change." (3520 words)
neil_josten  andrew_minyard  matt_boyd  neil/andrew  hurt!neil  clueless!neil  possessive!andrew  humor  crack  established!relationship  fandom:allforthegame  author:nekojita 
march 2018 by elwarre
Wands and Arrows
"Clint Barton's wife was the most terrifying person Natasha had ever met, including the Winter Soldier who had shown up one time and killed her charge by shooting through her." (8220 words)
harry_potter  clint_barton  hermione_granger  natasha_romanov  draco_malfoy  harry/clint  girl!harry  bamf!harry  masterofdeath!harry  protective!harry  parent!harry  parent!clint  humor  genderswap  domesticity  friendship  crack  established!relationship  pairings:unusual  crossover  hp:postseries  fandom:harrypotter  fandom:marvel  author:runic_purple_panda 
march 2018 by elwarre
✢ The Continuing Adventures of the Nine-Nine
"A series of short, ridiculous, mostly plotless stories featuring the Foxes as the cops of the Ninety-Ninth Precinct." (8,806 words) These are so much fun.
  neil_josten  andrew_minyard  kevin_day  allison_reynolds  nicky_hemmick  neil/andrew  officer!neil  officer!andrew  humor  crack  schmoop  fbi/police  secret!relationship  series/verse  crossover  aftg:au:no!exy  fandom:allforthegame  fandom:brooklyn99  author:gluupor 
january 2018 by elwarre
Blind Dating
Old fill for a challenge: "Pepper hires Matt Murdock for legal advice. Tony doesn't know anything about the guy... including that he's blind." (4172 words)
tony_stark  matt_murdock  pepper_potts  tony/matt  clueless!tony  humor  crack  misunderstanding  disability  text/email  crossover  fandom:daredevil  fandom:marvel  author:liu 
july 2017 by elwarre
I'll Be Around When They Let You Down
The man on Phil's doorstep is holding a longbow, is bleeding steadily from a visible wound in his shoulder, takes ones look at Phil and says, “Why aren’t you Natasha?” (1236 words)
clint_barton  phil_coulson  natasha_romanov  clint/phil  hurt!clint  bamf!phil  protective!phil  pov:phil  humor  crack  origin_story  preslash  fandom:marvel  author:torakowalski 
february 2017 by elwarre
I Ain't No Mata Hari (But You'll Do)
"Bond and Tanner get sent in to recruit a civilian with 'special circumstances' for MI6. Worryingly, there seems to be another agency on the prowl around the man, too. Bond needs to diffuse this quickly, Tanner says - though he's not much help. Besides, the mark proves much more interesting than originally estimated." (3118 words)
james_bond  clint_barton  phil_coulson  charles_xavier  bond/clint/charles  pov:bond  crack  humor  spies/assassins  kink:threesome  crossover  fandom:xmen  fandom:bond  fandom:marvel  author:sirona 
february 2017 by elwarre
✢ Questionable Life Choices
"Two guys walk into a bar. Wade's bar. One of them has tried to kill him before. The other is wearing a cardigan. He's jerked off to fantasies about both." (2519 words)
  wade_wilson  bucky_barnes  steve_rogers  steve/bucky  pov:wade  humor  crack  action  established!relationship  fandom:marvel  author:boopboop 
february 2017 by elwarre
It's All Derek's Fault
“You were cursed,” Sam says gently, which, yeah, Stiles should have seen that one coming. “Right,” Stiles sighs. “Of course. So what was it? Fairy? Witch? Demon? Succubus? Kanima seeking out some screwed up revenge for crushing on his girlfriend? And also, curse? What kind of curse? Because the only thing I can think about is sex. Is it a super teenage horniness curse? Right, yeah, that would be my luck.” Dean blinks at him from the rearview mirror. “You have amazing eyes.” Sam laughs and Dean shoots him one of those brotherly looks that says I will cut you, bitch. Stiles could be paraphrasing, though. He’s good at that. “How much do you know about curses?” (3910 words) This cracked me up.
stiles_stilinski  derek_hale  sam_winchester  dean_winchester  stiles/derek  sam/dean/stiles  cursed!stiles  bottom!stiles  reluctant!derek  top!derek  humor  crack  curse/spell  roadtrip  kink:threesome  kink:fuckordie  kink:knotting  first_time  crossover  fandom:teenwolf  fandom:spn  author:quietlyintoemptyspaces 
february 2017 by elwarre
✢ Green and Gamboge
"Sam/Dean, R. This... is not my fault. In fact, I'll tell you exactly whose fault it is: astolat's. For reference, the gremlins do in fact look very much like this." (5800 words)
  sam_winchester  dean_winchester  sam/dean  jealous!sam  crack  humor  schmoop  gremlins  jealousy  first_time  fandom:spn  author:sevenfists  have:pdf 
december 2016 by elwarre
✢ But Also the Sex Thing
"Professor X and Magneto have a few additional instructions for Logan, as long as, you know, he's going to be back in time. (I'm sorry, this is total crack.)" (2172 words)
  charles_xavier  erik_lehnsherr  logan  hank_mccoy  timetraveler!logan  charles/erik  humor  crack  schmoop  timetravel  x:futurepast  fandom:xmen  author:zamwessell 
october 2016 by elwarre
Charred
"Dean was born with the power of fire in his veins. Most of his early life into adulthood sucked because of that." (2610 words - Frozen retelling)
sam_winchester  dean_winchester  sam/dean  hurt!sam  powers!dean  humor  fairytale/fantasy  crack  schmoop  first_time  spn:au:historical/fantasy  fandom:spn  author:morrezela 
september 2016 by elwarre
Life As We Know It
"In which Dean gets cooking tips from Crowley, Sam does some carpentering and Cas loves to text. In other words: A pretty normal day at the bunker." (oneshot)
sam_winchester  dean_winchester  castiel  crowley  gen  clueless!castiel  humor  crack  domesticity  bunker  text/email  spn:season:10  spn:ep:10.10(hunter_games)  fandom:spn  author:frozen_delight 
september 2016 by elwarre
It's Not What You Think
"Inspired partly by a conversation with someone who shall remain nameless about how difficult RL dirty talk is and partly by my having to confess to my friend that part of the reason I won't go to the gym with her is because I make sex noises when I workout...don't ask. So, three micro (crack?) fics that are hopefully amusing." (950 words)
sam_winchester  dean_winchester  bobby_singer  ellen_harvelle  kevin_tran  sam/dean  clueless!sam  clueless!dean  humor  crack  pov:outsider  wincest!discovered  misunderstanding  bunker  kink:dirtytalk  spn:season:8  fandom:spn  author:alexisjane 
july 2016 by elwarre
Lorem Ipsum
"Jensen can do magic, mostly by accident. Once he starts college he thinks he's got his powers under control, but that's until he meets Jared and things starts to get out of hand." (5000 words)
jared_padalecki  jensen_ackles  jared/jensen  powers!jared  magical!jared  student!jared  powers!jensen  magical!jensen  student!jensen  schmoop  crack  humor  magic  college  first_time  fandom:rpf  author:jeyhawk  have:pdf 
june 2016 by elwarre
Go the Other Way
"This is sheer crack, by which I mean 'has no redeeming qualities whatsoever.'" (7900 words)
sam_winchester  dean_winchester  sam/dean  top!sam  crossdressing!dean  bottom!dean  humor  schmoop  crack  casefic  imps  bookstore/library  kink:crossdressing  first_time  fandom:spn  author:sevenfists  have:pdf 
june 2016 by elwarre
The Cure for All My Blues
"Jared has an enormous cock. Like, really, really enormous. It causes him lots of problems until Jensen comes along to properly enjoy it." (2680 words)
jared_padalecki  jensen_ackles  jared/jensen  top!jared  bottom!jensen  humor  crack  pwp  on_set(spn)  hothothot  kink:sizekink  first_time  fandom:rpf  author:balefully 
june 2016 by elwarre
Oops
"Sam's and Bobby's hands are more than full after John and Dean have an unfortunate run-in with a young witch. Pre-Series. Sam is 16. Dean is—...well." (1740 words)
sam_winchester  dean_winchester  john_winchester  bobby_singer  gen  deaged!dean  deaged!john  humor  crack  curse/spell  spn:preseries  fandom:spn  author:sharlot1926 
may 2016 by elwarre
Kitty Kitty Bang Bang
"Jensen finally gives into his sister's insistence that he needs a pet for companionship. He adopts a large, long hair cat from a local rescue. Two days later his cat turns into a man." (5505 words)
jared_padalecki  jensen_ackles  jared/jensen  creature!jared  werecat!jared  top!jared  hermit!jensen  bottom!jensen  humor  crack  animal_shelter  animal_transformation  hothothot  first_time  fandom:rpf  author:felisblanco  have:pdf 
may 2016 by elwarre
Let the Dust Settle
"It wasn't a bad day when Sam woke up. Then he discovered Dean had turned into a giant dust bunny, so it was." (870 words)
sam_winchester  dean_winchester  gen  creature!dean  humor  crack  animal_transformation  spn:season:4  fandom:spn  author:fleshflutter  have:pdf 
may 2016 by elwarre
The Start of Something New
"Seriously, bro, you really that shy you can’t look a girl in the eye while you’re doing the dirty, or is there something else you wanna tell me?” Dean tilts his head, quirking one eyebrow the way he knows Sam finds infuriating, and is rewarded with a slam of the door and no clean laundry for a week." (3354 words) Basically hot, cracky sexgod!Sam.
sam_winchester  dean_winchester  sam/dean  bottom!sam  top!dean  crack  pwp  hothothot  kink:powerbottom  first_time  spn:season:4  fandom:spn  author:felisblanco  have:pdf 
may 2016 by elwarre
✢ The Time Dean Was Sam's Girlfriend
"The title kind of says it all. I couldn't make up my mind whether to write bodyswap or genderswitch so I wrote both. And I can't believe there aren't a million and one fics about the effects of Dean and Jess sharing a birthday!" (11,041 words)
  sam_winchester  dean_winchester  jessica_moore  sam/jess  sam/dean  student!sam  pining!sam  bamf!dean  protective!dean  girl!dean  pining!dean  bamf!jess  boy!jess  casefic  humor  crack  bodyswap  genderswap  zombies  birthday/holiday  college  stanford  pining  preslash  spn:preseries  fandom:spn  author:fleshflutter  have:pdf 
may 2016 by elwarre
✢ Stranger Than Fiction
"Meta-comedy/drama set immediately post-4x18, The Monster at the End of This Book. Dean can't stop wondering why people would write gay porn about him and Sam. Research takes him to interesting places; re-reading novels for subtext, visiting message boards, and a really freaky place called LiveJournal. What he discovers is a sick fascination with fanfiction, more about gay sex than he ever wanted to know, and an even deeper obsession with understanding why people write this stuff. Meanwhile, they're hunting a mysterious monster that takes the form of a person's truest love to kill them slowly, the lines between fanfiction and reality are starting to break down, and they still have to stop Lilith and save the world." (50,644 words)
  sam_winchester  dean_winchester  chuck_shurley  castiel  zachariah  lilith  sam/dean  bamf!sam  powers!sam  bottom!sam  jealous!dean  possessive!dean  top!dean  angst  humor  crack  drama  spnbooks  demonblood  demons  jealousy  kink:switching  first_time  spn:season:4  fandom:spn  author:nyxocity  have:pdf 
may 2016 by elwarre
✢ A Curse is Just a Curse
"*deep breath* incest, voyeurism, threesome (sorta), bodyswitching, genderbending, animal transformation, tails, *amnesia,* sex pollen, and pretty much every other curse trope i could fit in there, including fuck-or-die. Whew!" This is adorable. (6900 words)
  sam_winchester  dean_winchester  bobby_singer  sam/dean  sam/ofc  dean/ofc  cursed!sam  girl!sam  impala!sam  cursed!dean  creature!dean  pining!dean  humor  crack  curse/spell  bodyswap  genderswap  animal_transformation  pining  hothothot  sex:pollen  sex:magic  kink:fuckordie  kink:threesome  kink:switching  kink:voyeurism  first_time  fandom:spn  author:queenklu  have:pdf 
april 2016 by elwarre
✢ Stick Because I'm Stuck On You
"Orphan. Fine. Big-brother-turned-Dad. Jensen can deal. New dog? Who may or may not be a fairly decent looking human being and/or alien? Jensen is so over his fucking head." (25,000 words)
  jared_padalecki  jensen_ackles  michael_rosenbaum  misha_collins  jared/jensen  mike/misha  creature!jared  alien!jared  shapeshifter!jared  dog!jared  top!jared  bartender!jensen  parent!jensen  orphan!jensen  bottom!jensen  humor  crack  schmoop  beach/island  aliens  shapeshifters  animal_transformation  animal_shelter  cps/fostercare  bonding/soulmates  hothothot  kink:rimming  first_time  fandom:rpf  author:queenklu  have:pdf 
april 2016 by elwarre
Innefable
"Jared and Jensen are angels in God's army who can't stand each other. During some supposedly restful downtime, it comes to the attention of someone very important." (19,117 words)
jared_padalecki  jensen_ackles  chad_michael_murray  metatron  jared/jensen  powers!jared  angel!jared  military!jared  girl!jared  powers!jensen  angel!jensen  military!jensen  humor  crack  angst  historical  genderswap  self_loathing  military  issues:cults/religion  first_time  fandom:rpf  author:fourfreedoms  have:pdf 
april 2016 by elwarre
✢ The Incestuous Courtship of the Antichrist's Bride
"Sam is trying to become the Antichrist in order to save the world. He has a small army of angels and demons, he has an adoring cult, he has a work of prophecy by Jack Kerouac, and he has Dean. Things are going pretty well until he accidentally signs Dean up as his Beloved Consort, a role that requires sex with the Antichrist on an altar. And that's when things stop going pretty well. Also, the soundtrack to the Apocalypse sucks." (48,000 words)
  sam_winchester  dean_winchester  bobby_singer  ruby  castiel  sam/dean  boyking!sam  motorcycle!sam  powers!sam  bamf!sam  reluctant!sam  protective!sam  possessive!sam  top!sam  reluctant!dean  hurt!dean  bottom!dean  horror  crack  schmoop  action  demons  zombies  hothothot  first_time  fandom:spn  author:fleshflutter  have:pdf 
april 2016 by elwarre
Fight Training
“Let me get this straight,” Misha says. “Jared and Jensen film a scene together. They retire – together – to the privacy of one of their rooms. Eventually, they show up to their next scene, sweaty and dishevelled. Sometimes they are bruised in significant places. And you’re telling me that nothing funny is going on?” (1785 words)
jared_padalecki  jensen_ackles  misha_collins  jared/jensen  actor!jared  actor!jensen  humor  crack  industry:film  on_set(spn)  established!relationship  fandom:rpf  author:themegalosaurus  have:pdf 
april 2016 by elwarre
Prodigal
"See, now, it was little things like discovering both your sons were ruling Hell that made a man think he needed to maybe work on his parenting skills."
sam_winchester  dean_winchester  john_winchester  sam/dean  boyking!sam  dark!sam  demon!dean  dark!dean  guilty!john  pov:john  humor  angst  crack  heaven  gods/goddesses  wincest!discovered  john_finds_out  demons  established!relationship  spn:postseries  fandom:spn  author:smallcaps 
april 2016 by elwarre
One Moment of Knowing That
"As Obelix would say, if you're off your food, you're ill. Of course, he never met the Winchesters." (6940 words) Broken link - contact elwarre on livejournal for a copy of the pdf.
sam_winchester  dean_winchester  bobby_singer  gen  hurt!sam  protective!dean  angst  humor  crack  eating_disorder  demon_deal  bonding/soulmates  spn:preseries  spn:season:3  fandom:spn  author:kroki_refur  deleted!fic  have:pdf 
april 2016 by elwarre
Supernatural After-Hours
"What's with all the shifters lately wanting to look like Sam and Dean? Why were those fans of Chuck's books at the store talking so dirty about Sam? And what was up with that porn Dean tried to watch that starred a very tall, very ripped character named Sam with long dark hair?! You can bet Sam and Dean will do what it takes to find out." (6000 words)
sam_winchester  dean_winchester  chuck_shurley  becky_rosen  gen  pornstar!sam  pornstar!dean  angst  humor  crack  meta  bookstore/library  fandom/fanfiction  spnbooks  industry:porn  spn:season:7  fandom:spn  author:brightly_lit  have:pdf 
april 2016 by elwarre
Wanton Boys Are We
"Jensen is a Greek god or demigod who has just found his soulmate in Jared, the adorable new barista at the coffee shop he favors. Unfortunately, Aphrodite holds a grudge against Jensen and is going out of her way to sabotage his love life." (3300 words)
jared_padalecki  jensen_ackles  jared/jensen  barista!jared  bottom!jared  creature!jensen  god!jensen  top!jensen  humor  crack  bakery/coffeeshop  gods/goddesses  bonding/soulmates  first_time  fandom:rpf  author:brutti_ma_buoni  have:pdf 
april 2016 by elwarre
The Thirty Year Old Virgin
"Jensen is a grumpy virgin sex shop owner. Jared is a male model moonlighting as a pizza delivery guy. This is what happens when they accidentally meet." (4421 words)
jared_padalecki  jensen_ackles  danneel_harris  aldis_hodge  misha_collins  chad_michael_murray  jared/jensen  model!jared  top!jared  clueless!jensen  virgin!jensen  bottom!jensen  humor  crack  schmoop  kink:toys  kink:rimming  kink:virginity  first_time  fandom:rpf  author:tebtosca  have:pdf 
april 2016 by elwarre
Tumbling Tumbleweeds
"Ellen and Jo run into some trouble with a witch. Or, Jo is an agave plant, and Sam is the roaming tumbleweed that finds her." (1200 words)
sam_winchester  jo_harvelle  ellen_harvelle  sam/jo  creature!sam  cursed!sam  creature!jo  creature!ellen  humor  crack  animal_transformation  curse/spell  witches/wizards  fandom:spn  author:ghostyouknow 
march 2016 by elwarre

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action  actor!jared  actor!jensen  aftg:au:no!exy  aldis_hodge  alien!jared  aliens  allison_reynolds  alpha!erik  altered!reality  andrew_minyard  angel!jared  angel!jensen  angst  animal_shelter  animal_transformation  author:alexisjane  author:aytheria  author:balefully  author:boopboop  author:brightly_lit  author:brutti_ma_buoni  author:felisblanco  author:fleshflutter  author:fourfreedoms  author:frozen_delight  author:ghostyouknow  author:gluupor  author:ifyouweremine  author:jeyhawk  author:kingsholto  author:kroki_refur  author:liu  author:miss_aphelion  author:morrezela  author:mumblemutter  author:nekojita  author:nyxocity  author:queenklu  author:quietlyintoemptyspaces  author:runic_purple_panda  author:sevenfists  author:sharlot1926  author:sirona  author:smallcaps  author:tebtosca  author:themegalosaurus  author:the_dala  author:torakowalski  author:toratio  author:weesta  author:whisperingdarkness  author:whithertits  author:wrenseroticlibrary  author:zamwessell  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