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Twitter
If you knew Byron as a teen, please get in touch laura.wagner.com
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yesterday
Twitter
I'm sure most of you have been spammed with this thread more than you'd like, but now there's 50 classic tweets in…
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yesterday
Twitter
this tweet isn't here anymore which is too bad
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yesterday
Twitter
I’m not trying to live my life according to Hunter S. Thompson’s advice, but sometimes you just stumble into it I g…
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yesterday
Twitter
"So you just got back from Myanmar, right?"
"Yes."
"I feel like Myanmar is sort of having a moment right now."
"Abs…
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2 days ago
Twitter
About to try Impossible Burger ver. 2.0, a high-tech food I can actually get behind. The left shou…
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2 days ago
Twitter
RT : At coffeeshop. This dude is pitching VR on the blockchain to an investor who is trying not to laugh.

They just go…
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2 days ago
Twitter
just emailed someone on craigslist about a free 80s electric organ so i can finally achieve my true potential
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2 days ago
Twitter
camera reveals a man’s hands putting the last remaining cartridges of ammo into the magazine of an AR-15. a broken…
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2 days ago
Twitter
quaff is the name of my new concept it’s all shots and you can’t stay long because it’s shots so we don’t have to g…
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2 days ago
Twitter
11 months of extremely not writing, 2.5 months of writing, 43,000 words, 5,000 more in footnotes/citations, one rou…
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2 days ago
Twitter
It’s 2018. What are ticket stubs?
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2 days ago
Twitter
We love this little piece of SF food lore, so we brewed a beer inspired by it. Like its namesake, it a started with…
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2 days ago
Twitter
Haha I’ll put together a new version by end of next weekend, make up 5…
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2 days ago
Twitter
The new slackbot is even worse than the new 卐 slack logo
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3 days ago
Twitter
For those of you who didn’t get the last meme
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3 days ago
Twitter
When Oklahoma beer nerds rip off a label from the most valuable lambic in the world but the brewery wasn’t involved…
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3 days ago
Twitter
hooray, you guys have aped AOC's twitter style. can you copy her politics next?
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3 days ago
Twitter
When he was active here was literally the funniest person on twitter imo
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3 days ago
Twitter
When he was active here was literally the funniest person on twitter imo
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3 days ago
Twitter
this tweet is no longer on twitter, but the user is under a different name, but I won't blow up their spot
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3 days ago
Twitter
here's another that's no longer accessible but lmao
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3 days ago
Twitter
we just call it donating and lobbying here
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4 days ago
Twitter
lmao sorry not sorry we fuckin told you
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4 days ago
Twitter
Somewhere between “teachers shouldn’t have to sell their own blood to make rent” & “billionaires with helipads and…
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4 days ago
Twitter
anyway you are welcome to our huge dumb wrestling party. It owns, it's very friendly, and it only could exist…
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5 days ago
Twitter
This is the wildest 10-Year Challenge out there, hands down.
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5 days ago
Twitter
Ah yes, every seven minutes right on schedule, perfectly normal usable transit system
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5 days ago
Twitter
(not a joke) Tumblr says that a photo of my face contains Adult Content and "violates their community guidelines",…
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5 days ago
Twitter
Evidently the 1st amendment guarantees the right to serve in committees, which is cool. Please put me on the Gettin…
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5 days ago
Twitter
Every fast food company's social media manager right now.
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5 days ago
Twitter
twelve PhDs in Palo Alto built a model to determine the association between my sleep schedule and my bowel movement…
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5 days ago
(500) http://joke.il
it’s formatted joke.eps or i dunno what apps you use
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6 days ago
Twitter
me: “Yeah I used to just read whatever magazine I had outloud to my son when he was a baby.”

coworker: “Yeah, so l…
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6 days ago
Twitter
Who wants to bet that the Braves will wake up Saturday feeling refreshed and still racist af?
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6 days ago
Twitter
On Saturday, a drunk customer who peed all over themselves in the restaurant called me a bitch twice for trying to…
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6 days ago
Twitter
My new late-night obsession: watching floor routines.
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6 days ago
Twitter
i love seeing pics like this from Baker Beach in SF bc 99% of people have no idea how cold it is there....this lady…
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6 days ago
Twitter
Guys, it’s Be Nice To Yourself Sunday! On the docket: steak and garlic mushrooms and alfredo pasta and rosè, none o…
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6 days ago
Twitter
And Mike, just know if your voice ever gets high pitched and really annoying, your…
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6 days ago
Twitter
🍙: “mommy do you know what time it is?”
Me: “it’s 12:30.”
🍙: “no it’s time to get into sicko mode.”
Me:
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7 days ago
Twitter
When the brewer posts a pic of them mashing in and three months later they release that barrel aged beer
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7 days ago
Twitter
FBI: “alright so what is ddb doing”
My Google Home: “he’s uh, taking bourbon county and mixing it with like crabs a…
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7 days ago
Twitter
Just finished an epic squirrel hunt in Arizona, where I became (we think) only the 2nd person to hunt & eat all 8 s…
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7 days ago
Twitter
a trip to the playground in four images
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7 days ago
Twitter
fact check: there’s no such thing as a foie gras halfsmoke
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8 days ago
Twitter
If you ever see someone at the fish counter quietly muttering “scramps” to herself over and over, feel free to say…
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8 days ago
Twitter
if you must go into a business to purchase something hold your breath upon entry
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8 days ago
Twitter
Our hearts go out to those affected by this government shutdown mess—if you're a federal employee on furlough, come…
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8 days ago
Twitter
May I have your attention? I’m kinda crushing it today. 💁🏾‍♀️💁🏾‍♀️💁🏾‍♀️
xoq  from twitter_favs
8 days ago
Twitter
i got an online robot vacuum machine and it demanded a name. am i doing it correctly
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8 days ago
Twitter
sietsema just doing pr for restaurants now
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9 days ago
Twitter
my new conspiracy theory I’m contributing to the world: the bezos divorce is primarily to decrement their standing…
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9 days ago
Twitter
If you aren’t paying $63 to get hand blown by an Austrian then basically unfriend me rn
beachbesties  from twitter_favs
9 days ago
Twitter
Burritos, tacos, giving zero fucks
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9 days ago
Twitter
I am going to kiss the ground in New York City when I get off this plane I don’t care if it’s dirty I am never leav…
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10 days ago
Twitter
Occupational hazard: I instantly recognize printed receipts.

Fun fact: Android receipts are rendered with…
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10 days ago
Twitter
Also: if your profile is all photos of Rene Redzepi and you’re not Rene Redzepi
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10 days ago
Twitter
in 2028 some piece of open source code that is essential to 80% of "smart device" user management systems will get…
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10 days ago
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