darthjamtart + author:astolat   4

Not A Word
“Yes,” the goblin said. He sounded mournful. “Emrys serves king. Big waste, you ask me. Us following you all day. Emrys say, ‘Goblins watching.’ King tramp all over making noise. Emrys say, ‘look out trap.’ King go in trap.” He and several of the other goblins all shook their heads disapprovingly, while Arthur seriously contemplated cutting the rope at once and swinging himself onto their heads and seeing how many of them he could take out. “Once and future king, not all he cracked up to be. Emrys not want king anymore, Emrys say so, goblins figure out something else. Goblins have queen, she smart, she not go in trap. You want serve queen?” he asked Merlin.

“Er, no thanks, really,” Merlin said.
author:astolat  fandom:merlin  pairing:arthur/merlin  length:<5k  genre:action/adventure  feelings:loltastic  rating:M 
february 2019 by darthjamtart
Slithering
Draco found the nest down in the Manor’s cellars, while he was clearing them out.

#

“Is this some sort of mating dance?” he said warily. “Do you need me to find a male snake? Because I’m afraid they’re rather thin on the ground in your size. I suppose we could go to the zoo—”

She flopped her entire body over onto her back and sprawled limp on the floor as though she’d died of sheer irritation. Draco scowled at her. “I have absolutely no idea what you want!”

She flipped back over and came rushing at him, wild enough to make him take an instinctive flinch back, and she spiraled her way rapidly up his leg and round his waist and ended with her face right in front of his and hissed furiously and at length. “I don’t speak snake!” he yelled back at her, and then he paused and said grimly, “Right.”
author:astolat  fandom:HarryPotter  pairing:Harry/Draco  length:20k-50k  rating:E  feelings:hmm  genre:get-together  genre:continuation 
october 2018 by darthjamtart
Dangerous If Unbound
He showered fast and got to the kitchen in a hurry, while Harold was still getting ready, and put together the most obnoxiously subservient breakfast he could on short notice. A single place setting, linen napkin, too much silverware, mimosa and tea and toast with the crusts cut off, bacon and sausage and a perfect omelette. He finished and set the plate on the table just as Harold came out of the hallway. John had already dragged the ottoman over next to the chair, strategically, and he sat down on it with his eyes downcast, darting one deeply wistful look up at Harold.

Harold took in the spread and gave him a speechless and indignant glare. John just dropped his eyes and did his very best demure.
author:astolat  fandom:PoI  genre:AU  feelings:unf  rating:E  length:20k-50k  pairing:Harold/John 
september 2017 by darthjamtart
Wishing Well
Thor had been staring the whole time. Now he flung himself off the table and across the room. He seized Loki by the shoulders. "Brother!" he said, ecstatically. "Has the spell — the spell has worked!"

Loki stared back at him. "What spell?" he spat. And added, choked off, "...dear brother."
author:astolat  fandom:avengers  feelings:loltastic  genre:crack  rating:T  pairing:loki/thor  length:5k-10k 
november 2013 by darthjamtart

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