cluebucket + parenting   57

Debra Danielsen - Wikipedia
hilariously specific and detailed wikipedia about the MOM of MTV's 'Teen Mom' OG mess Farrah Abraham... definitely longer than the wikis about other Teen Moms
wikipedia  wiki  mtv  narcissism  mother  parenting  salt_lake_city  weird 
28 days ago by cluebucket
ABBA - Slipping Through My Fingers - YouTube
I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while
abba  song  music  audio  photo  family  parenting  youtube  daughter  linda_ulvaeus  1981  1980s  the_visitors 
july 2019 by cluebucket
At The Smithville Methodist Church Poem by Stephen Dunn - Poem Hunter
putting faith
in good men was what
we had to do to stay this side of cynicism,
that other sadness
poemhunter.com  poem  poetry  stephen_dunn  church  religion  parenting  jesus_christ  education  children 
september 2017 by cluebucket
Stuck In the Pseudo-Wife Zone - marriage infertility | Ask MetaFilter #4500636
comment from moonlight on vermont highlights precarity of america no-health-insurance...
These Times ugh
comment  ask.metafilter  marriage  healthcare  insurance  risk  politics  america  europe  2017  2010s  advice  emergency  parenting  rights  takedown  metafilter.com 
july 2017 by cluebucket
We Are All Very Anxious | We are Plan C
"When misery stopped working as a control strategy, capitalism switched to boredom."
...
"There has been a partial recuperation of the struggle against boredom. Capitalism pursued the exodus into spaces beyond work, creating the social factory – a field in which the whole society is organised like a workplace. Precarity is used to force people back to work within an expanded field of labour now including the whole of the social factory."
...
"Today’s public secret is that everyone is anxious. Anxiety has spread from its previous localised locations (such as sexuality) to the whole of the social field. All forms of intensity, self-expression, emotional connection, immediacy, and enjoyment are now laced with anxiety. It has become the linchpin of subordination."
...
"Our success in this performance in turn affects everything from our ability to access human warmth to our ability to access means of subsistence, not just in the form of the wage but also in the form of credit. Outsides to the field of mediatised surveillance are increasingly closed off, as public space is bureaucratised and privatised, and a widening range of human activity is criminalised on the grounds of risk, security, nuisance, quality of life, or anti-social behaviour.

"In this increasingly securitised and visible field, we are commanded to communicate. The incommunicable is excluded."
...
"We’ve noticed a certain tendency for insurrectionists to refuse to take seriously the existence of psychological barriers to militant action. Their response tends to be, 'Just do it!' But anxiety is a real, material force – not simply a spook. To be sure, its sources are often rooted in spooks, but the question of overcoming the grip of a spook is rarely as simple as consciously rejecting it."
weareplanc.org  plan_c  capitalism  anxiety  system  control  misery  boredom  19th_century  20th_century  history  organization  strategy  secret  society  social_change  resist  1960s  protest  culture  work  employment  surveillance  consumerism  social_media  japan  u.k.  repression  regulation  war  parenting  poverty  theory  public  punishment  fear  compliance  situationist  action  activism  anger  power  revolution  tip  psychology  depression  apathy  BenCarson 
april 2017 by cluebucket
The Problem with the Solution : Invisibilia : NPR
I often get really irked by the stylistics of this show, but this episode (content) is v interesting
npr  2016  invisibilia  podcast  radio  mental_health  belgium  problem  stigma  nyc  2010s  parenting  family 
august 2016 by cluebucket
The Problem We All Live With | This American Life
1619 = arrival of black people in US as slaves
300+ years pass...
1971 - 1988 (peak) = integration efforts in US schools
1988 ~ = resegregation?
nikole_hannah-jones  education  racism  segregation  this_american_life  radio  audio  america  reform  missouri  race  integration  statistic  discrimination  parenting 
march 2016 by cluebucket
The List - The New Yorker
“High school was bliss for me,” DuBuc said recently. “I tried not to dwell on the stuff that wasn’t good.” But, as she was about to start her freshman year at Western Michigan University, she got a call from a close childhood friend, Victoria, who asked, “Did you know you’re on the public sex-offender registry?”

...

The [Texas sex offender treatment] plan also included a monthly polygraph ($150) and a computerized test that measured how long his eyes lingered on deviant imagery ($325). He would also have to submit to a “penile plethysmograph,” or PPG. ... Metts would be billed around $200 per test.

...

The prosecutor pushed for two years in prison... Metts’s attorney urged alternatives that would be less costly for taxpayers. None of Metts’s violations, he noted, had any connection to the original charges of sexual assault of a child. A typical mistake was failing to charge his ankle bracelet’s battery. The judge took some time to think it over. The next morning, she sentenced Metts to ten years in prison.
sarah_stillman  newyorker  problem  2016  2010s  crime  abuse  database  assault  violence  children  childhood  punishment  2000s  high_school  sex  michigan  texas  virginia  north_carolina  montana  minnesota  illinois  sexting  policy  legal  1930s  1990s  jacob_wetterling  adam_walsh  treatment  elizabeth_letourneau  consent  teenage  government  morality  shame  injustice  money  criminal  therapy  vigilantism  threat  outcast  society  south_carolina  new_york  georgia  depression  suicide  parenting  prison  rehab  oregon  reform  nicole_pittman 
march 2016 by cluebucket
The Couple That Pays Each Other to Put Kids to Bed - NBC News
via the emotional labor spinoff discussions: "their objective is total fairness and zero resentment, using cold hard cash."

gotta admit, I kinda like this workaround idea
nbcnews.com  nbc  relationship  parenting  children  work  labor  value  money  finance  bid  offer  system  payment  bethany_soule  daniel_reeves  game  game_theory  behavior  economics  portland  beeminder  ben_popken  2014  2010s  strategy  argument 
december 2015 by cluebucket
Carolyn Hax: A forgotten birthday saddens mom - The Washington Post
"As you know, it’s not about cake, it’s about being treated like wallpaper in the lives of the ones you love most." via the epic mefi emotional labor post

confession: one year I forgot to say hbd to my mom until just before midnight and will never live it down... really feel it now though
carolyn_hax  advice  birthday  mother  parenting  emotion  sad  sadness  quote  2010s  washingtonpost  neglect  forget 
december 2015 by cluebucket
Moomin Edition Finnish Baby Box
I want this really bad... in ... adult-size proportions???
baby  finland  finnishbabybox.co  box  baby_box  moomin  kit  bed  onesie  2010s  parenting 
november 2015 by cluebucket
Growing Up Poor With Three Parents — Medium
"I'm very lucky: my parents are remarkable people who care deeply for me and did an admirable job of raising. But, it certainly didn't hurt that there were three of them."
raindrift  ian_baker  class  privilege  poverty  society  polyamory  monogamy  economics  family  relationship  benefit  childhood  medium.com  support  2015  2010s  1980s  parenting 
september 2015 by cluebucket
The heartbreaking reason four Chinese siblings drank poison and died - The Washington Post
"Popular outrage has been checked, however, by how widespread the practice is in China of parents leaving their children at home while working in distant cities."
washingtonpost  china  poverty  parenting  children  suicide  tragedy  2015  2012  2010s  welfare  michael_e_miller  responsibility  violence  loneliness  depression  left-behind  death  bijie  rural  growing_up  school  wei_lu  william?wan  guizhou  cizhu  abandonment  ren_xifen  zhang_fangqi 
july 2015 by cluebucket
Why I Stopped Trying to Be a Supermom and Started Being Myself Again
Good Enough Parenting etc

"I was a feed bag that sang nursery rhymes to a mute lump of perfection, and the whole thing was melting my brain. Worst of all, it seemed like no one noticed."
jezebel.com  jane_marie  mother  parenting  supermom  life  perfection  perfectionist  time  therapy  failure  self-esteem  2015  2010s 
april 2015 by cluebucket
The Strange Story Of The Man Behind 'Strange Fruit' : NPR
"There is something else about Abel Meeropol that seems to connect the man who wrote 'Strange Fruit' to the man who created a loving family out of a national scandal. ...
"'I was the official lawnmower,' Robert says, 'and I was going to mow over them, and he said, "Oh, no, you can't kill the seedlings!" I said, "What are you going to do with them, Dad? There are dozens of them."

"'Well, he dug them up and put them in coffee cans and lined them up along the side of the house. And there were hundreds of them. But he couldn't bring himself to just kill them. It was just something he couldn't do.'"
2012  elizabeth_blair  npr  morning_edition  billie_holiday  song  lyric  writing  strange_fruit  protest  racism  lynching  abel_meeropol  songwriter  nyc  bronx  teacher  poet  dewitt_clinton  1930s  2010s  classic  herbie_hancock  marcus_miller  1990s  jewish  1940  1940s  communism  history  america  communist  civil_rights  lewis_allan  pseudonym  rosenbergs  ethel_rosenberg  julius_rosenberg  1950s  1953  adoption  parenting  mccarthyism  w.e.b._du_bois  1986  1980s  life  compassion  plant  seed  biography  profile 
january 2015 by cluebucket
My Stepfather, The Peeping Tom
"I was trying to prove some point — the point that I should not have to talk to him, that such an expectation was sick and deranged. Guess what? My point was not being taken. Would I tough it out like a lone, ignored hunger-striker until I died?
"But then, if I talked to him, was I betraying not only myself but every woman ever abused, every person who talked to me in a hushed tone after a poetry reading, every woman who nabbed me on the street saying, 'I read your book. Something like that happened to me, too…'?"
...
"A former boyfriend whom I had been with for many years had made many trips with me to Florida, and I felt bad about the way his relationship with the man fucked with his head. 'Is it all right that I like him?' he asked me — confused, not wanting to betray me, but I had set him up, hadn’t I? I had set him up to spend time with this jolly man who treated my mother so kindly, who took us to play miniature golf and blasted Aerosmith in his truck and didn’t give a shit that my ex was transgender and took us out for pizza and came home from a run to the gas station bearing bingo-themed scratch tickets for us all to play. In the years before his spinal disease crippled him, this was my stepfather. Charming, chain-smoking, liked to talk about science, a scuba diver. The sexual abuse he had perpetrated was a concept. The man before us was real."
1980s  1990s  2010s  2014  buzzfeed.com  michelle_tea  writing  memoir  abuse  stepfather  parenting  peeping_tom  voyeurism  pain  father  silence  mother  growing_up  apology  acceptance  anxiety  family  relationship  poet 
november 2014 by cluebucket
How do I deal with this morass of feelings re: holidays, travel, family - thanksgiving christmas longdistance | Ask MetaFilter
tckma: "They will come around. I don't have an answer for the guilt you feel; I feel it too."
feral_goldfish: "It helped that I could cite my grandfather, who always used to say: 'Fish and visitors stink in three days.'"
ask.metafilter  advice  travel  holiday  family  stress  trip  expense  excuse  guilt  tip  parenting  in-laws  vacation  thanksgiving  christmas  duty 
november 2014 by cluebucket
Fatal Distraction: Forgetting a Child in the Backseat of a Car Is a Horrifying Mistake. Is It a Crime? - The Washington Post
"under some circumstances, the most sophisticated part of our thought-processing center can be held hostage to a competing memory system, a primitive portion of the brain that is -- by a design as old as the dinosaur's -- inattentive, pigheaded, nonanalytical, stupid."
gene_weingarten  2009  2000s  1990s  washingtonpost  washington_post_magazine  virginia  miles_harrison  crime  accident  baby  hyperthermia  heat  death  infant  car  lyn_balfour  mary_parks  america  parenting  mistake  andrew_culpepper  child  ray_morrogh  earle_mobley  adoption  carol_harrison  r._terence_nay  trial  tragedy  mark_warschauer  david_diamond  memory  driving  brain  autopilot  james_reason  swiss_cheese_model  grief  guilt  anger 
june 2014 by cluebucket
watterson_advice_large.jpg (980×8097)
Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement
image  jpg  comic  gavin_aung  bill_watterson  2013  2010s  slate.com  calvin&hobbes  life  work  ambition  dream  satisfaction  selling_out  salary  career  parenting 
september 2013 by cluebucket
Maria Bamford's 'Special Special Special!' Online | NYTimes.com
"Ms. Bamford takes a moment to imagine what’s it like to believe in God, spinning out a carefully wrought metaphor: 'You know when you are in a third-world shantytown at midnight, and you’re terrified, but then off in the distance you see the glowing logo of an international conglomerate, and you just feel like: Everything’s going to be O.K.' Then she added: 'Maybe it’s time I seek the Exxon within.'

"It’s a funny, well-written joke delivered with the solemn tone of a woman thrilled to find solace. Her parents didn’t laugh. That silence is fascinating."
maria_bamford  jason_zinoman  nytimes  2012  2010s  comedian  video  review  writing  criticism  audience  comedy  stand-up  parenting  mental_health  family  faith  joke  metaphor  quote  corporation  funny  silence 
december 2012 by cluebucket
rabbit blog: EXIT STRATEGY
"[E]very second you spend in their presence, your self-esteem crumbles a little more.

"That's by design, by the way. They want you to feel weak because they can't stand the idea that you could grow strong and leave them and never look back."

"This is about survival, ok? You are not surviving right now. You're hurting yourself, by telling yourself that you're safer in an inherently unsafe situation. You need to say soothing things, avoid pissing the vampires off, all the while quietly getting the fuck out of there."
rabbitblog  heather_havrilesky  advice  parenting  abuse  daughter  family  escape  debt  self-defense  depression  2012  2010s  happiness  safety 
november 2012 by cluebucket
Letters of Note: I shall always be with you
"Go through the world with open eyes, and listen not only to your own pains and interests, but also to the pains, interests and longings of others. Don't ever think of anything as none of your business. No, everything must interest you, and you should reflect about everything, compare, compose individual phenomena."
letter  lettersofnote  communism  socialism  life  war  politics  1950  1950s  execution  1940s  treason  milada_horáková  death  daughter  parenting  lesson  advice  czech  20th_century 
september 2012 by cluebucket
Heat and storm damage translate into parental power outages - On Parenting - The Washington Post
for some parents I know ;P

"There are four basic elements in my approach, which support a parent being calmly and confidently in charge. The first is attachment and connection... The second is … parenting from strength, rather than neediness and desperation.. The third is helping kids handle frustration so that it doesn’t turn into anger and aggression... And finally, I teach parents to stay cool and calm, rather than turning on what I affectionately refer to as “Mom TV.” "
2012  2010s  parenting  washingtonpost  susan_stiffelman  janice_d'arcy  summer  child  power  struggle  fight  argument  problem  philosophy  emotion  authority  frustration  advice  how_to  21st_century 
september 2012 by cluebucket
My parents are killing my crackhead brother - Salon.com
"We don’t expect people addicted to crack cocaine, who’ve been on the pipe for nearly 20 years, to be lounging in a pool in the suburbs, chowing down on prime cuts of barbecued meat and relaxing by the fire and watching a big-screen TV."
salon  life  parenting  child  addiction  crack  drugs  enabling  fear  death  sibling  brother  2012  2010s  illness  health  21st_century 
september 2012 by cluebucket
The Use of Poetry : The New Yorker
"Her bucolic name in this connection intrigued him. He thought of a generous strapping lass, manure-streaked, astride a tractor—and then did not think about her again. The term ended, he went home, his mother died, and the summer was lost to grief and boredom and numbing, inarticulate silences at home with his father. They had never discussed feelings before, and had no language for them now. Once, when he saw from the house his father at the bottom of the garden, examining the roses too closely, he was embarrassed, no, horrified, to realize from the tremors of his father’s shoulders that he was weeping. It did not occur to Michael to go out to him. Knowing about his mother’s lovers, and not knowing whether his father knew—he guessed he did not—was another impossible obstacle."
ian_mcewan  newyorker  fiction  short_story  poetry  john_milton  scientist  parenting  affair  marriage  relationship  oxford  postwar  1947  1940s  1960s  1970s  writing  divorce  21st_century  20th_century 
february 2012 by cluebucket

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