cluebucket + confidence   12

glyn: The 10 assertive rights of an individual
Assertive Right #1: I have the right to judge my own behavior, thoughts, and emotions and to take the responsibility for their initiation and consequence.
Assertive Right #2: I have the right to offer neither reason nor excuse to justify my behavior.
Assertive Right #3: I have the right to judge whether I am responsible for finding solutions to others' problems.
Assertive Right #4: I have the right to change my mind.
Assertive Right #5: I have the right to say, ``I don't know.''
Assertive Right #6: I have the right to make mistakes and be responsible for them.
Assertive Right #7: I have the right to be independent of the good will of others before coping with them.
Assertive Right #8: I have the right to be illogical in making decisions.
Assertive Right #9: I have the right to say, ``I don't understand.''
Assertive Right #10: I have the right to say, ``I don't care.''

these were not told/modeled to me as a child (rather, sometimes anti-modeled?) lol cry
glyndk  blogspot  rights  assertion  behavior  coping  consequence  emotion  mistake  life  stress  logic  independence  2008  2000s  list  tip  rule  confidence  self-esteem 
january 2016 by cluebucket
The 6 Awkward Conversations You're Dreading, And How To Deal With Them
bookmarking fer this: "remember that you don't owe anyone an uncomplicated life or a performance of happiness"
captainawkward  buzzfeed.com  list  tip  advice  conversation  family  holiday  stress  trigger  response  retort  shutdown  2015  2010s  politics  politeness  distraction  confidence 
november 2015 by cluebucket
Carolyn Hax: Vulnerability and self-esteem in a relationship - comment from pdianek
don't mind me, just copying this in full!:

"Don't compare yourself to other people, especially whose whom you do not know personally or who are utterly hypothetical.

"Don't compare your SO to other people, especially men who treated you horribly. He's entitled to smudge his own copybook -- or keep it beautifully neat.

"And if he does eventually break up with you, remind yourself that that means he does not value your most fabulous qualities, and that you have therefore dodged a bullet!"
pdianek  tell_me_about_it  relationship  advice  comparison  abuse  breakup  encouragement  2010s  2013  washingtonpost  self-esteem  confidence  vulnerability 
december 2013 by cluebucket
Carolyn Hax: Vulnerability and self-esteem in a relationship - The Washington Post
"Please examine the idea that one person (out of 7 billion, never lose sight of that number) can have so much power over the very essence of you. Any time you feel so vulnerable to anyone, please ask yourself: 'What’s THAT about?'
...
"And so each of us, in becoming whole, functioning adults, needs to find a way to come to terms with sharing the planet with people who are well-positioned to hurt us, be it through intent or merely by proximity.

"The one I recommend most is the 'whatever' approach: 'They’re out there, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’ve got to do what I’ve got to do.' Treat people as populating one of two categories: those who help you with your purpose in life, or those better tuned out as distractions.

"Make sure you’re in the first category yourself. If you think you can do more in life, then take concrete steps toward that. If you feel valuable as you are, then serve as no one’s inferior."
carolyn_hax  tell_me_about_it  advice  help  relationship  insecurity  confidence  dating  status  self-esteem  vulnerability  2013  2010s 
december 2013 by cluebucket
Invalidation
"Constant invalidation may be one of the most significant reasons a person with high innate emotional intelligence suffers from unmet emotional needs later in life. A sensitive child who is repeatedly invalidated becomes confused and begins to distrust his own emotions. He fails to develop confidence in and healthy use of his emotional brain-- one of nature's most basic survival tools."
eqi.org  invalidation  behavior  psychology  emotion  thought  abuse  guide  pdf  confidence  self-esteem  control 
october 2013 by cluebucket
The Jeopardy! Teen Tournament Just. Got. Real. - The Triangle Blog - Grantland
lol Melvin Hurst comments: "Leonard has replaced my own neices and nephews as my favorite teenager currently, and Lisa Turtle as my favorite teenager ever!"
jeopardy  grantland  tv  game  quiz  teenage  tournament  2013  2010s  rembert_browne  screengrab  leonard  confidence  contestant  normandy  alex_trebek  underdog 
february 2013 by cluebucket
shoup house: Eno on gifts
“Things evolve out of nothing. You know, that the tiniest seed in the right situation turns into the most beautiful forest. And then the most promising seed in the wrong situation turns into nothing. And I think this would be important for people to understand, because it gives people confidence in their own lives that that’s how things work.

"If you walk around with the idea that there are some people who are so gifted – they have these wonderful things in their head but you’re not one of them, you’re just a normal sort of person, you could never do anything like that – then you live a different kind of life. You could have another kind of like, where you say, well, I know that things come from nothing very much and start from unpromising beginnings. And I’m an unpromising beginning, and I could start something.”
shoup  blogspot  brian_eno  geeta_dayal  quote  another_green_world  confidence  skill  work  creativity  gift  beethoven  composition  musician  inspiration  start  make  life 
july 2012 by cluebucket

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