cluebucket + 2013 + tip   8

Captain Beefheart Issues His "Ten Commandments of Guitar Playing" | Open Culture
1. Listen to the birds.
2. Your guitar is not really a guitar.
3. Practice in front of a bush.
4. Walk with the devil.
5. If you’re guilty of thinking, you’re out.
6. Never point your guitar at anyone.
7. Always carry a church key.
8. Don’t wipe the sweat off your instrument.
9. Keep your guitar in a dark place.
10. You gotta have a hood for your engine.

I am not a guitar player but man I can appreciate that stink.
philosophy  don_van_vliet  hubert_sumlin  howlin_wolf  one_string_sam  guitar  list  lettersofnote  captain_beefheart  1960s  1970s  rule  tip  musician  advice  how_to  commandment  instrument  performance  openculture.com  2013  2010s  devil  bird  stink  music  1974  old_grey_whistle_test  magic_band  moris_tepper  from twitter_favs
november 2015 by cluebucket
The Breaking News Consumer's Handbook - On The Media
via Tips for handling breaking news:
"
1. In the immediate aftermath, news outlets will get it wrong.
2. Don't trust anonymous sources.
3. Don't trust stories that cite another news outlet as the source of the information.
4. There's almost never a second shooter.
5. Pay attention to the language the media uses.
* "We are getting reports" ... could mean anything.
* "We are seeking confirmation" ... means they don't have it.
* "[News outlet] has learned" ... means it has a scoop or is going out on a limb.
6. Look for news outlets close to the incident.
7. Compare multiple sources.
8. Big news brings out the fakers. And photoshoppers.
9. Beware reflexive retweeting. Some of this is on you.
"
2013  2010s  news  onthemedia  alex_goldman  list  rule  journalism  fake  how_to  tip  accuracy  anonymous  crisis  breaking_news  from twitter_favs
december 2014 by cluebucket
My Nice Boyfriend Makes Me Crazy
it's not my problem, but it's a lot of worthwhile words about self-examination and open communication in relationships. helpful for that.

"Lots of people, LOTS AND LOTS OF FUCKING PEOPLE, really, truly don't want to connect. They just want to do what they do without being challenged or being forced to show up. They want to talk about the easy stuff, keep it light, ignore the trouble, keep the peace, don't look too hard at anything, and don't get too honest. There's another tier, above that: The people who want intimacy, but only on THEIR terms. They want access to an open person, sure, so they can turn that person on and off, like a faucet. Great when they happen to want you, not so great when you need something from them and they can't handle being needed.

"But there are a few people who can show up. If they see that you want them to show up, they can show up. If you're present, they will find a way to be present, too. I think that's what you have in this man, even if you aren't quite there yet yourself."
heather_havrilesky  ask_polly  advice  relationship  devotion  neediness  insecurity  communication  dating  vulnerability  transparency  emotion  abuse  coping  life  connection  2013  2010s  writing  tip 
december 2013 by cluebucket
Carolyn Hax: Husband’s online ties to a female employee define ‘emotional affair’ - The Washington Post
from Hax:

"You do need to make clear that this isn’t about whether physical cheating has or hasn’t happened or will happen. It’s about what he fully admits is happening: His time with you is spent talking to her. He’s taking his best self (such as it is, but you can omit that part) outside the marriage. That’s what you’re objecting to.

"Well, that and his utterly loveless response to your concerns.

"I type all this out knowing the chances are slim to zero that he’ll look inward, fall to his knees with remorse over his self-indulgence and recommit himself to your marriage. But, the part where you state your feelings clearly is important."

comment from jalesq:

"Your husband is doing what he wants because he wants to do it. He's aware that its extreme; he's aware this is painful for you. He's aware that it can be 'misunderstood' and that it could open up all sorts of problems.

"He does not care about that ~ not enough to stop. Talking to this woman gives him a rush. A feeling he doesn't feel any other way ~ and that includes you, sadly. Ignore the 'woo him back' remarks. That will simply add to your humiliation ~ and he's humiliating you for his need. He will continue to talk to this woman for has long as *she* allows it: you have no real power over it.

"In short, you have been demoted... He is telling you loud and clear that your feelings are not his priority. His are. And he likes how he feels doing this, no matter how crazy it makes you.

"Do you still want to be married to someone like that?"
carolyn_hax  tell_me_about_it  washingtonpost  advice  marriage  relationship  affair  emotion  cheating  husband  wife  divorce  2013  2010s  gaslight  facebook  reaction  overreaction  tip 
december 2013 by cluebucket
A Guide to Eating Very Particular Feelings, Part III | The Hairpin
FEELING: The kick-drum thud when someone you've been bumping shoulders and knees with for weeks, close enough to an accident that it could have been an accident after all, finally touches you on purpose for the first time.
HOW TO EAT IT: Are you crazy? Don't move. Eat only what you can reach.
jess_zimmerman  thehairpin  writing  feeling  emotion  eating  food  guide  tip  funny  2013  2010s 
november 2013 by cluebucket

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